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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Bang, Bang, Bang, Crash !
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
This is a form that comes from Old English poetry, I think technically it is called accentual alliterative poetry. This blog has a really good explanation.
I have always been intrigued by this kind of poetry, especially as it developed specifically for English - unlike many other forms that have been wrestled into the language.
However, I've never really learned to write it. I am starting this thread with the hope I may find some fellow shippies who would also like to give it a go.
Here is an example from W.H.Auden's The Age of Anxiety
quote:
Deep in my dark the dream shines
Yes, of you, you dear always;
My cause to cry, cold but my
Story still, still my music.
[ 24. July 2014, 07:16: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
Oh, wow, that's beautiful.
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
Auden had an amazing facility to blend technical expertise with lyrical fluency. I can't think of anyone his equal really, I suppose Pound and Eliot and some of the Americans (Lowell?). This stanza is very fine.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
I know we are unlikely to reach Auden's heights, but I think it will be fun to try.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
I think Hopkins did something similar with vowels, maybe influenced by Welsh poetry:
Earnest, earthless, equal, attuneable, ' vaulty, voluminous, . . . stupendous
Evening strains to be time’s vást, ' womb-of-all, home-of-all, hearse-of-all night.
(Spelt from Sibyl's leaves).
I quite fancy doing a comic version.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
He used a technique he called sprung rhythm which is hard to do - but is fantastic when it comes off, I think you are right it would work for comedy.
That tumbling headlong quality would work well for farce.
[ 24. July 2014, 08:22: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
He used a technique he called sprung rhythm which is hard to do - but is fantastic when it comes off, I think you are right it would work for comedy.
That tumbling headlong quality would work well for farce.
How do you know so much about all this? I used to teach Eng Lit and wrote poetry. Too old now.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Yorick
Infinite Jester
# 12169
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Posted
This love is like to me lit shade
Warmth, when all the world is cold
Colour climbing, in clearing sky
Lifted, alight, in love we rise
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این نیز بگذرد
Posts: 7574 | From: Natural Sources | Registered: Dec 2006
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
The bus she sat in, burned bronze and gold -
Peckham, Pimlico, Pirbright its goal;
Thigh to thigh, we thundered down
The Broadway; busty, beatific, my Ceres!
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
He used a technique he called sprung rhythm which is hard to do - but is fantastic when it comes off, I think you are right it would work for comedy.
That tumbling headlong quality would work well for farce.
How do you know so much about all this? I used to teach Eng Lit and wrote poetry. Too old now.
I've always loved poetry, and written it periodically since I was a child. Some years ago I bought and read Stephen Fry's The Ode Less Travelled, which I would recommend to everyone in the entire world. It is really accessible, and talks about poetry as a hobby.
The pleasure of the process, and makes the point that you would not decide not to sing because you're not Pavarotti, or not paint because you are not Constable - so you shouldn't be put off writing poetry just because you aren't going to be Shakespeare.
It is really inspiring, and takes you through lots of different poetic forms with a wide variety of examples. It is where I learnt most of what I know about the technical aspects of poetry.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
And now I have seen Yorick and quetzalcoatl sharpen their quills, I must do a verse - something about a saxophone I think.
[ 24. July 2014, 11:06: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
A secret - I like dirty poems.
The dick she dandled in her doughty hands
Was Fire, Foam, Forensic joy;
Alas, the time came, after he came, when she came
To know loss, languor, letting go – No!
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Oh my saxophone, like a strangulated swan you honk
Then wheeze, and where is the whitegold beauty
The threnody of sound that held me in thrall three minutes -
As Adolphe played ? Apogee. But I merely quack.
[ 24. July 2014, 11:33: Message edited by: Doublethink ]
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Had you just read Beowolf ?
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Had you just read Beowolf ?
No, but I was already familiar with it. It may owe somewhat towards it. Not to mention far too much Tolkien.
[ 24. July 2014, 11:55: Message edited by: Karl: Liberal Backslider ]
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink:
Oh my saxophone, like a strangulated swan you honk
Then wheeze, and where is the whitegold beauty
The threnody of sound that held me in thrall three minutes -
As Adolphe played ? Apogee. But I merely quack.
Delightful.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
Interesting how some famous lines from Shakespeare's 'Cleopatra' start off very alliteratively:
The barge she sat in, like a burnish’d throne,
Burned on the water: the poop was beaten gold;
Purple the sails, and so perfumed that
The winds were lovesick with them; the oars were silver,
Which to the tune of flutes kept stroke, and made
The water which they beat to follow faster,
As amorous of their strokes.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
"the poop was beaten gold"
Classy lady that Cleopatra. Even her bodily functions reeked of royalty.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
Karl, you need to visit the National Maritime Museum - several burnished poops and royal barges there.
kersnipp kersnipp arf arf fnarr fnarr etc.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
"the poop was beaten gold"
Classy lady that Cleopatra. Even her bodily functions reeked of royalty.
Oh no, I can feel an urge to write doggerel about having a shit. Must control, must repress, must squeeze forehead.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
Please try hard to stay
On the topic of poetry
Doublethink
Verseworks Host
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
The pleasures of defecation are many and varied,
But is is widely thought they are better left unshared.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Curiosity killed ...
Ship's Mug
# 11770
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Posted
Isn't that one of the problems of some poetry, and Shakespeare in particular, that the language used is often less familiar and needs explaining? And the only way to understand it is to find out more about what was intended?
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Mugs - Keep the Ship afloat
Posts: 13794 | From: outiside the outer ring road | Registered: Aug 2006
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
Ode to Otautahi - a Christchurch verse
About me broken buildings, bowed and bent
Tourists, tentative, talk softly now
At gaping gaps with mouths agape they stare
and look in empty space for what was there
But here yet hearts beat, and humans grow
This city bright in future sight will rise
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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St. Stephen the Stoned
Shipmate
# 9841
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by quetzalcoatl:
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
"the poop was beaten gold"
Classy lady that Cleopatra. Even her bodily functions reeked of royalty.
Oh no, I can feel an urge to write doggerel about having a shit. Must control, must repress, must squeeze forehead.
“ O Cloacina, Goddess of this place,
Look on thy suppliants with a smiling face.
Soft, yet cohesive let their offerings flow,
Not rashly swift nor insolently slow. ”*
Attributed** to Lord Byron
**by Stephen Fry
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Do you want to see Jesus or don't yer? Well shurrup then!
Posts: 518 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Jul 2005
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the famous rachel
Shipmate
# 1258
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Posted
I can't manage a poem about poo, I'm afraid, but I wanted to have a go at the "bang, bang, bang, crash" thing. Here's my attempt: I'm not sure the stresses are right in the first line...
Sleep’s summons comes with sullen frowns
My fight though flawed will force my lids:
Wakeful, watchful, waiting still
Come, cariad, come soon.
Best wishes,
Rachel.
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A shrivelled appendix to the body of Christ.
Posts: 912 | From: In the lab. | Registered: Aug 2001
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I thought that was just right, Rachel. ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Let me lie, lulled gently
Rocking my restless random spirit calm
Till tall shadows by trees shed
Darken in dusk the daylight's glare.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Ćbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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