Thread: Words that would have changed history Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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As the title says. To give a rather obvious example...
"Come on, Abe. Stay home tonight. I hear it's a lousy play anyway."
No need to state the historical event being averted, just as long as it's sufficently implied in the quote itself.
Anyway, to start off with a somewhat morbid entry...
"Oh, get a grip, Joseph. You don't think Herod's actually gonna do that? Because of what some astrologers said?! That guy's all talk."
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Congratulations Henry, its twin boys,
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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'You're right. Senate's boring. I'll stay home.'
Posted by Hart (# 4991) on
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"Rubicon's looking a bit high today, Julius. How about we just hang out here for a while?"
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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I gave your lab a good clean Mr Flemming, I don't know how you can let it get in that state, there was green gunk everywhere
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"Aw, don't be such a killjoy, Marty. The church sells 'em, the people think they get ya to heaven faster, everyone's happy."
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
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"I don't know, I bet we could find a better chairman for our party than that Adolph fellow. He doesn't seem very flexible."
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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It's up to you, Mein Kaiser, but personally I can't see what the Russians have done to justify us putting this Lenin character on a train to Petrograd.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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My dear Caiaphas, I am not remotely interested as to what is and what isn't blasphemy where your religion is concerned. I shall acquit the gentleman forthwith.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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Y'know George, I'm not convinced by that dossier that Saddam has got weapons of mass destruction.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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How far back would you like us to go? Personally, I have no problem sharing the realm of Egypt with an Asiatic and a Nubian?
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"You can't believe everything you read in the Hearst Papers, Mr. President. That ship could easily have exploded on its own."
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Sorry God, she's not really my type
Posted by lilBuddha (# 14333) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Kitten:
Sorry God, she's not really my type
And the Christian, Jewish and Islamic portions of this thread have been won! Congrats kitten.
Alright, my heathens, time up our game!
'No, no, Siddhartha, they are not suffering. They are players in costume.'
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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Don't bother hiding the WMDs.
Posted by Hart (# 4991) on
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Look, Henry, it's a boy!
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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'Even with Aaron's help, I'm not going to Pharoah!'
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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'Ok, point the elephants at the gates of Rome and - Charge!'
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"Paris has actually done me a favour. Helen was kinda getting on my nerves"
Posted by ken (# 2460) on
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Paris is *not* worth a mass.
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
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"D'you know, I was sitting in the garden just now and an apple fell on my head. I suppose the cat must have been climbing in the tree or something."
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"Such an amazing variety of animal life on the Galapagos Islands. And to think they all managed to get there from Eden!"
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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"You know, we could use helium in this zeppelin instead of hydrogen."
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"An Ark? Out of Gopher Wood? Are you crazy?"
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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"Do we really need to get up so early just to slap on some spices?"
Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on
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"Sire, the court astrologers say the stars are inauspicious for victory anon. Mars is in retrograde. They humbly submit that 'twould be best to launch your mighty Armada another month hence."
"Aye, and who writes in the heavens but God? Last night we had a dream of St. James with a lowering brow. Yes, we will await on better signs."
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"I came, I saw, I decided it wasn't worth the effort - let's go home!"
Posted by W Hyatt (# 14250) on
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"But Comrade Arkhipov, letting the Americans force us to the surface without any resistance will make Chairman Khrushchev very unhappy with us."
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"Ya know, Squeaky, on second thought, this White Album is really just a bunch of pretentious pseudo-artsy rambling."
Posted by Zappa (# 8433) on
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"My good friends, for the second time in our history, a British Prime Minister has returned from Germany bringing determination and honour.
I believe there is no other means to justice for our time..."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"Actually, crucifixion bloody hurts. Maybe I should just concede a little bit."
Posted by Jane R (# 331) on
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Hedgehog: quote:
"You know, we could use helium in this zeppelin instead of hydrogen."
<tangent> They would have done, if the Americans had given them any... <\tangent>
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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"Gavrilo Princip, the evidence against you is overwhelming. In the spirit of international co-operation you shall be extradited immediately to Austria-Hungary to stand trial for assassination."
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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I never could stand my aunt, Holy Father. Tell Henry he can have his divorce with my blessing.
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Alois, I think it might be better if you wore a rubber tonight.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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Dear Herr Hitler,
I am delighted to be able to write offering you a place at the Vienna Institute of Architecture...
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"Yes, of course we have a room for you - air-conditioning, en-suite bathroom and a lovely view over Bethlehem."
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on
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"And so I say to you all, give thanks for the treaty just signed which will guarantee peace, harmony and co-operation between our two great nations, Germany and Great Britain"
Posted by Firenze (# 619) on
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'Right, if we drop the carriage ride through downtown Sarajevo, we can catch the earlier train to Vienna'.
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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"I have spoken to representatives of the Thirteen Colonies and agreed that they will have parliamentary representation at Westminster."
[ 29. January 2014, 12:35: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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"You know, even with that comment about a well regulated Militia, stating that the people have a right to keep and bear arms is probably overly broad..."
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"You know that woman next door that keeps washing herself on the roof - can we have her arrested for public indecency?"
Posted by Gwai (# 11076) on
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"You know, I really do want to invade Russia, but I think summer is too late in the season. Let's see how we feel next spring."
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Actually, no, we've decided we don't really want to sell you Manhatten Island
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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You know, as a Roman Citizen, I could appeal to Caesar, but I am sure we can come to some agreement.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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I can't be arsed with all these Christological niceties. I have an Empire to run. Let a hundred flowers bloom is what I say.
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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"Ships? Oh shit! dozens of them."
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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I'm only a humble astronomer. It's not for me to disagree with those learned and holy people in the Holy Inquisition.
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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"I'll stand up in the rowboat if I want to. It's only the Delaware River, for George's sake!" . . . "Man overboard!"
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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It's up to you Mein Pope. But, personally, I think that having an official Child Protection policy is a bit more important than slagging off Gustavo Guttierez.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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What a charming woman that Mrs Duffy is.
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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I, Catherine, Queen of England, do solemly avow that my marriage is invalid because I lay with my husband's brother.
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Liebchen, Saravejo is such a drag; let's spend the summer in Monte Carlo instead.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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"Oh, don't be silly. Everybody knows that if you keep on sailing west, you fall over the edge of the world and die."
Posted by Jammy Dodger (# 17872) on
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The lady is for U-turning - I've had second thoughts....
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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Sorry, there must be a reason they call it the Valley of Death. No way we're charging into there.
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Actually, you're right, cousin - you baptising me does seem a bit weird. Let's swap!"
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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"On second thought, keep Barabbas. Give us the other guy instead."
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"D'you know? I think I could live without that woman Wallis, after all".
Posted by Timothy the Obscure (# 292) on
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"Two months and still no sign of land--we'll never get to the Indies this way. Signal the Pinta and the Santa Maria to turn back..."
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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"I thought about it, but we have enough to do already looking after Gaul, so let's not waste any further resources trying to cross the Channel and establish bases there. It's not worth it for a tiny island with terrible weather."
Posted by Hart (# 4991) on
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Dear Dr. Jenner:
Your proposal to give human subjects cowpox has not been approved. It's too too silly.
Yours, etc.
Research on Human Subjects Advisory Panel.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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"Of course we can't have peasants, even brave ones, leading our armies, Nobunaga-sama. Nobody will stand for it!"
Posted by roybart (# 17357) on
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No thanks. I'm allergic to fruit. And I could care less about "good and evil," whatever that is.
Adam, don't you dare touch that fruit either!"
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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Sorry, Mr Revere, we don't have a horse for you to use tonight.
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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Mr. Lincoln regrets to inform you that his schedule will not permit him to attend the dedication of the Civil War Cemetery at Gettysburg.
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"Ouch!! Look, if you think that knocking me off my horse and blinding me is a good way to get me to stop persecuting you, you got another thing coming!"
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
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"Only thirty pieces? Buncha tightwads, Jesus was right about you. Find someone else to do your dirty work, I'm outta here."
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
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"You run into the weirdest people on the way to Emmaus--let's walk faster, maybe he'll get the hint and leave us alone."
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
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"Hm, Boss Tweed just send me a $100K check and asked me to stop picking on him with my silly cartoons. I guess I really hurt his feelings. I'll lay off."
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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Which puts me in mind...
"Look, I hired you as a political cartoonist. If people wanna see cute animal drawings, they'll buy Mother Goose."
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"Mr Epstein? Here's a recording contract. Bands with guitars are really 'in' these days."
Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on
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(on that note)"Why are we promoting this skinny white dude when we can introduce the world to Big Mama Thornton? She sings the damn song better, anyway."
Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on
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"Dodi, let's walk for a change".
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Sorry Rabbi, but we can't just up and leave the boat - how will the family survive? And fishing for people just sounds... weird. Can we make a monthly donation instead?"
[ 30. January 2014, 09:50: Message edited by: Stejjie ]
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"Let's not sell Alaska to those Americans, you never know it might be worth something one day."
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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Herr Von Wiesacker, could you inform the Fuhrer that the extermination of the Jews is a crime against humanity and it will be impossible for the Holy See to maintain it's neutrality in this war, if it continues.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"Forget about building a flying machine, let's concentrate on bicycles."
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Does it really matter whether the Spirit proceeds from the Father alone or from the Father and Son together? Let's just worry about the stuff that's really important!"
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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(Sorry... it's quite addictive this when you get going!)
"So the Pope won't annul my marriage? Oh well; easy come, easy go."
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
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"I suspect it's all relative but I can't be bothered to work it out."
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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Oh, bugger Runnymede. I ain't signin' nothin! I'm the King, after all, and don't you forget it.
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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"They just handed a bunch of Vikings their asses at Stamford Bridge? Screw this, I'm going home. Back to the boats, everyone!"
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Harold, duck
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Man, running 'Bezos' Bookstore' - this is the life! Much better than that silly "online bookstore" idea - who'd buy anything from one of those?"
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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Tell him if he doesn't come out of Canossa and face me, I'll send the army in to fetch him.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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All right, Cassius, I've had my little joke. The Watchword is 'Rome Prevails' and you can be Consul next year. No hard feelings, eh.
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"Mr Senator, we think it would be disrespectful to make you walk out through the kitchen. Let's take a more pleasant route."
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"Charlie, come down out of that tree and face the music."
Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on
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"The British are sailing away!" <gallop gallop gallop> "The British are sailing away!"
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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"Steve, it only lasted ten issues. Why the heck would it be any more successful as a website?"
"You're right Simon. I don't know what I was thinking..."
Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on
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"I don't care what you say, Lord, there's no way I'm eating a sheet full of sausage and reptiles".
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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'Let them eat cake, I know its rather expensive so I'll buy it for them, and possibly some fruit and veg as well'
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"You know, this clerical celibacy is a bummer. I am the pope and I decree that priests can be married"
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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"LET THERE BE LIGHT - woah, hey, too bright, turn it off! Yeesh, that was rubbish. I'm not gonna try that again!"
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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I don't care if the little shit is a grand-nephew of Germanicus, I'm not marrying his mother or adopting him.
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"Colonel Parker, I've had enough of you screwing up my career. I'm getting a new manager."
Posted by Raptor Eye (# 16649) on
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You want funding for what? A sputnik? What possible use could there be for that?
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:
"Steve, it only lasted ten issues. Why the heck would it be any more successful as a website?"
"You're right Simon. I don't know what I was thinking..."
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"Listen, I have worked seven frigging years for Rachael, and I want Rachael. I am not having her sister instead, I don;t care what your traditions are".
or
"The revelation from Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show his servants what must soon take place. Either that, or Isabella has put some seriously good stuff in this cake. Hey look at that unclean animal flying by!"
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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"C'mon, Hef. Why would you wanna show undressed women in a magazine? You're taking all the magic and mystery out of it."
Posted by Dal Segno (# 14673) on
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"Are you sure that we want to put all of these epistles in the canon?"
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Dal Segno:
"Are you sure that we want to put all of these epistles in the canon?"
"And we definitely don't need that Revelation one. I mean. Seriously. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
"
Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on
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Sure Adolf, we have a place for you in the Art Academy.
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"You want me to climb a mountain to bring down some stone tablets full of rules? You want us to have rules you just send me the tablets in the mail!"
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"Of course you can borrow Shirley Temple to star in The Wizard of Oz, My Meyer."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"So you want my character to REGENERATE? Just replace Will with another actor? They will never accept that - we will have to just finish the series."
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on
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"... I am grateful to my brother, the Duke of York, and to Mr Baldwin, for their wise counsel over these last months and I announce to you all, now, that I have ended my friendship with Mrs Wallis Simpson and henceforth all my efforts and actions will be devoted to the service of this realm and the empire."
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Sirs:
On behalf of my nine companions and myself, I'd like to say that we are totally appalled at the decline in moral standards seen in this community. What sort of example are we setting for our children?
Sncerely yours,
Disgusted in Sodom and Gomorrah
[ 31. January 2014, 13:28: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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Mr. Watson, come here. I want you . . . to take this silly invention of mine and throw it in the trash. The very idea, talking to people over an electric wire. Rubbish!
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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quote:
Originally posted by no prophet:
Sure Adolf, we have a place for you in the Art Academy.
Ahem! I think we did that one.
Posted by Hedgehog (# 14125) on
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"Excuse me, Siddhartha, would you mind moving? We have orders to chop down this tree."
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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"First you see it making the goats act funny, then you eat the beans, and then—then!—you waste perfectly good water boiling them, only to make it brown and bitter? You woke me up for this?"
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
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"Risk family and reputation by becoming an unmarried mother? No thanks. Don't flap those wings too hard on your way out."
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"Hello, this is the White Star Line procurement office. I'd like to order some lifeboats."
Posted by balaam (# 4543) on
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"Mary, Joseph, it's a girl."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"I have a dream ... but I don't want to talk about that now."
Posted by Doublethink (# 1984) on
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"No one cares what computers look like Mr Jobs - why not go into a more design aware field like cigarette packet branding."
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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"The Marylebone Cricket Club is please to announce that its team to tour Australia and New Zealand in the winter of 1932-1933 will be captained by Mr G.O. Allen, with Mr D.R. Jardine vice-captain."
Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on
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"It was just a dream, Muhammad. Now come on, these shipments came in while you were away, and the business isn't going to run itself."
Posted by maleveque (# 132) on
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"John, don't stop for any more autographs - let's have the car take us right up to the front door of the Dakota."
Posted by Eliab (# 9153) on
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"All the kingdoms of the world? Ok, I'm sold. Got any incense?"
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"Wilbur, these flying machines are such a waste of time. The future clearly lies in building better bicycles".
Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on
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"Houston, this place looks totally inhospitable. We're turning back."
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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"Comrade Castro, this is Comrade Krushchev. President Kennedy will never invade your country after the Bay of Pigs fiasco, so the bombers and missiles will be fine".
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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A symphony that has voices join the orchestra in the fourth movement? Interesting idea, but I can't hear a blessed thing anymore, you know, so I'd never even dream of trying such a thing.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Look, none of the posh gits in the big house on the hill are going to be interested in a lunch or even a snack that's a simple piece of cheese clapped between two slices of bread and a pickled onion on the side. Posh gits eat posh food and I've heard My Lord Sandwich likes his venison pasties. Now finish your lunch and get on with the work, we got to finish ploughing this field before sunset.
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"A wireless with pictures, eh, Mr. Baird? People will never have the time to sit down and look at that".
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
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"In all my time as Magistrate here in Salem, I have never heard such nonsense. Witchcraft, indeed! Case dismissed."
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Benjamin, stop playing with those silly jars! There's a thunderstorm on - you might get struck by lightning if you haven't already caught pneumonia, look how wet you are. Put them away and come indoors.
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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Write them down? Don't be silly. No one in Stratford-on-Avon can read anyway. I'll just keep acting, if you don't mind.
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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Impale my enemies? Do you think I'm some kind of monster?
Posted by Eutychus (# 3081) on
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"Soylent Green is soya!"
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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This round thing rolls quite nicely, but you can't really control it, and it's going to be useless for transporting anything because you can't balance anything on it. "Wheel" is a pretty stupid name anyway.
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
:
Oh, Percy, don't be a silly boy. Who would read a novel about a man constructed from dead body parts?
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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'Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. Oh, that would be me, pass me a stone someone'
Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on
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Amanda B R Since Frankenstein was written by Mary Shelley I'm not sure I follow your post... ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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It still works if you take the POV that Shelley was trying to encourage her to get her novel published.
* * *
"It's out of the question, Mr Stephenson. It could never work. People die if they have to travel at any speed greater than 21 miles an hour."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
"And David slung his stone, and it bounced off Goliaths stomach. Then Goliath said 'Now you've made me really angry'"
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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I don't care if he's a Knight of the Realm and that Peter Pears is one of the most highly regarded musicians in all England. The fact is that homosexuality is against the law and I want you to send somebody to arrest Sir Benjamin Britten.
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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He may be gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide but he happened to crack the Enigma Code. We are not prosecuting. End of.
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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I don't care, Pete - you damage that guitar and you are out.
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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"I don't care if she can cook, nobody with a voice like that is going to make it on TV!"
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
:
"But Janet Leigh is a huge star. You can't kill her off halfway through the film - people will walk out."
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
"Helen has what? After all I've given her? Fine! She can damn well stay in Troy as far as I'm concerned. I don't want her back, and don't ever mention her name to me again."
Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on
:
"Guess you're right Paul, Pete is a better drummer".
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
What with that pope not seeming to like me, and problems with the wives, I think I will let Ireland have total independence. Let them sort their own problems out.
Posted by Starbug (# 15917) on
:
"OK, seeing as you asked so nicely, I'll move to the 'black' end of the bus"
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
"Dear Theophilus, I was going to write you a long account of it all, but I decided it would take far too long and didn’t want to bore you, so I’m sending you this book of comic verse which I’m sure you’ll like much better."
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
:
--Yes, Abigail, I *will* "remember the ladies"
in drawing up the papers for our new country.
--Sally, I'm going to free all my slaves and
give them a good start on a new life. Most of
all, I'm freeing you and our children. You're
free to stay or go. But...will you marry me?
--Sorry, Mrs. Keller, but your daughter's
condition is hopeless.
--Mr. Clemens, Tom and Huck are juvenile
delinquents! I will not publish a book that
encourages misbehavior.
--Guide two clueless white guys across the
country? Where I've never been? While I'm
pregnant??? Sorry, I've got to wash my hair.
Posted by pimple (# 10635) on
:
And God said "Turn that damn thing off, I'll get skin cancer."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
"riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, ..." - Sorry James, this is drivel. Forget it.
I'm sorry Josef, but you will have to explain what this "catch 22" is about before anyone will buy the book.
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
"Dad - don't give me that fancy coat. I have enough trouble trying fit in with my brothers."
"A talking mouse? You have to be joking. Forget it".
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
Look, I know you're bored, but spending half an hour rubbing two sticks together is a really stupid way to waste time. Now put that aside and come and help us skin this mammoth, we're having steak tartare again tonight.
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
:
"Mr President, this is J Robert Oppenheimer. I have to tell you that the Trinity test has failed."
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
:
I don't care if it's what they say they want. I'm in charge and if I say we're not crucifying anybody today, we're not crucifying anybody today. And don't pester me about tomorrow, either.
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
:
Though that Rachael is a looker, I think her big sister is even better. Look Laban, I'll take her off your hands, and get back to my people straight away.
Posted by Jengie Jon (# 273) on
:
Sorry William (Farel) I really think I am called to work in Strasbourg amongst the French Protestant refugees.
(You can pick a date for that, 1536 or 1541).
Jengie
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
:
No, Subutai, you needn't come back to Mongolia right now. Keep going west into Europe.
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
:
"As your parliamentary secretary, I think I should advise you that a single, 12 syllable, 28 letter word with two negative prefixes is going to look ridiculous in hansard. Why not just say 'The pro-Establishment view'?"
(Well, changing lexicographical history anyway)
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
:
Not tonight, Attila. I have a headache.
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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When it says 'in this sign conquer,' 'conquer' is clearly not to be taken literally. Rather it means I should conquer my pride and ambition.
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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Sire, Josephine sends her love, and says to remind you, Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on
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"I have no problem adding the word 'filioque' to the Creed, but before we do, we should run this past the other four Patriarchs first."
Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on
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"The British are coming! The British are... oh, nuts, who cares? My butt is sore from this saddle... I'm off to bed!"
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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"Sigmund, forget all this rubbish about sex and being a doctor - you'll become a wool merchant just like your father!"
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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With deep regret, Citoyen Robespierre, I suspect that Corsican corporal is not loyal to the Revolution.
Posted by Marvin the Martian (# 4360) on
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"His Majesty the Heavenly Sovereign has decreed that, no matter how many atomic bombs may fall, we must defend our homeland to the last breath."
(hey, nobody said these things had to change history for the better)
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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You're right. They don't have any weapons of mass destruction. I was just making it all up. Screw the oil companies. They're just being greedy. No more troops on foreign soil for us.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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You know you said you'd give me anything I wanted after my dance? Mum says to ask you for the head of John the Baptist, but I think it sounds quite revolting and I don't want it. If you're feeling generous, I'd really love to have three new outfits, earrings to go with them, three pairs of shoes to match, oh, and an embroidered Persian scarf.... shall I write all this down for you?
Posted by Gildas (# 525) on
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That Hitler guy may be a good speaker but frankly he's an anti-Semitic tit. I'm going to vote for the Social Democrats.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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Yeah, I know it seemed like a good idea last night, but it's going to look a bit pathetic storming the Bastille if there's only 7 people in it. It's not exactly a major coup, is it?
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"Just get rid of these mouldy Petri dishes, will you? They're of no use now".
"Yes, Mr. Fleming".
[ 10. February 2014, 19:16: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"Paul - thank for your last letter, but please could you clarify more on the role of women in the church, just so we are completely clear."
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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"Let Florey's team take the credit, Max - they did all the work"
AG
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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No, Philip, my namesake never married, nor shall I.
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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I love you, Wallis, but my duty to my country comes first.
Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Dafyd:
I love you, Wallis, but my duty to my country comes first.
In a similar vein:
I can't say I'm not flattered Yoko, but I'm a married man.
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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A website called Ship of Fools? that's a ridiculous idea.
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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quote:
Originally posted by The Rogue:
A website called Ship of Fools? that's a ridiculous idea.
Posted by The Rogue (# 2275) on
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Actually it's been done earlier in the thread. I thought I had read it all but obviously not. ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
Posted by piglet (# 11803) on
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London, 1555
To Their Graces Philip and Mary (nee Tudor), the gift of a son.
Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on
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"Perhaps eying my mates bird in the tub isn't such a hot idea after all?"
AG
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"You know, life is overrated. Lets just launch our entire nuclear arsenal at Russia. End this cold war once and for all".
Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on
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"It's not about the money! We're still The Doors even without any new music and without John and Jim!"
Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on
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Apologies to all: I think I was really tired when I posted those last few and they don't really make sense in terms of the game.
Just forget them and continue on, please.
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Luke, Luke! I've just had this really weird dream about a man from Macedonia saying they need our help... yeah, I know... mad, huh? Must've been something I ate last night. C'mon, let's start heading back to Jerusalem."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"You think they might ask for my name, Moses? I hadn't thought of that. I will have to come up with another plan."
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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"Why did you smash those tablets, Moses? I'll not give you another!"
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"They thought it was all over - but Germany still had half an hour to come back and win the match".
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"A modern-day Olympic Games? My dear Baron, they will never catch on".
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"I am sorry, Mr Beck, but that will not do. How will anyone know where the lines actually go?"
(Maybe a bit geeky? Any guesses?)
Posted by StevHep (# 17198) on
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The submarine threat is overrated, we don't need to waste money on defending merchant ships.
Posted by StevHep (# 17198) on
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Good people of Geneva I have been having a long chat with Ignatius the Loyolan. He's really opened my eyes I can tell you.
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"No hang on, if we rule that a well regulated militia is part of everyones rights, who knows where that might lead? We should be far more restrictive."
Posted by StevHep (# 17198) on
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Sorry, my mistake, Scotland can remain in a monetary union with the UK after she votes for independence.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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So this is Patmos. Good idea to rustle up some dinner for myself. Hmmm...those mushrooms look lovely. But they're not familiar to me. Better skip them. Last time I collected wild mushrooms on my own, they disturbed my mind. I wrote a lot of very strange stuff, and thought it was from God!
![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"A tower, Monsieur Eiffel? Don't you think that a nice football stadium would be a better feature for our Exposition?"
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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(riffing on Golden Key)
"Y'know, if anyone gets caught with this manuscipt, the Romans are gonna know who I'm talking about, even if I use symbols and numbers. Might as well just scrap all this 666 stuff and write Nero."
(And thus future generations are spared having to endure Hal Lindsey, The Omen, and Iron Maiden.)
Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
(And thus future generations are spared having to endure Hal Lindsey, The Omen, and Iron Maiden.)
Philistine.
Not that I can do anything about it, mind you—I'd need some proper weapons and armor to take you down, and all I have is this ass jawbone. So I suppose it might be time to come to terms, then.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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"Mama, I'm really sorry, but I just don't want to marry the Spencer girl. Camilla is the only one for me."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"Not tonight, Alois, I have a headache" - Klara Hitler.
Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on
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Anyway, God, as to your servant Job--that pampered, protected prat down there--I bet you 50 doughnuts that, if you take your protection from him...
Hmmm...doughnuts! Sorry, Lord, I'm grumpy and breakfastless. D'oh! Never mind what I said about Job. I'm going to get a half dozen doughnuts, some of that fancy Mexican chocolate dip from the future, and go back to bed.
Posted by Ariel (# 58) on
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"Let's just stay here in the hotel overnight. We can sneak out separately before dawn tomorrow disguised as cleaners or something to avoid the paparazzi. We won't take the car, just mingle with the early morning crowds and meet up at your apartment. What d'you say, Dodi?"
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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"What do you mean, 'no room in the inn?' Can't you see my wife is expecting? You'd better rustle us up the bridal suite tout suite, my good man, or there'll be a letter in tomorrow's Bethlehem Times, I assure you!"
[ 27. February 2014, 18:50: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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Look, Oscar darling, I know my Daddy's a pain, but let's not take him to court when we can just sneer at his awful spelling.
Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on
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The island's not ours to sell, and we don't want your beads anyway.
Posted by PeteC (# 10422) on
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Wallis, find someone else to play games with. Something must be done, like I said in Wales, and I seem to be the only one who can manage Mr Baldwin.
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"A world-wide web, Tim? All people will do is look at porn, pictures of cats and waste time chatting with each other. I wouldn't bother with it if I were you."
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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"Hell yes, of course we killed Diana. She was a pain in ones butt"
Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on
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"Yes, Henry, of course you can get rid of your wife and take another. Do it half-a-dozen times, if you like. I'll do anything to keep the Catholic Church together".
Posted by Campbellite (# 1202) on
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Doctors from the Dallas Parkland Hospital report that the bullet which grazed President Kennedy caused only minor injuries, and that the President will make a complete recovery.
Posted by Kitten (# 1179) on
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I'm sorry, that armour makes my bum look too big, I'll just stick to this nice, feminine dress. And why on earth would I want to go to Orleans
Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on
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I suppose we could mass produce this car thing, but it uses an irreplaceable energy source. I think I will put my effort into developing an alternative power source instead.
Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on
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"Your majesty, your servant has killed both lions and bears and this uncircumcised Philistine shall... shall... b****y h**l, Goliath's huge, isn't he?! How about we negotiate terms, instead?"
Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on
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"No point in going down to earth, son. Mankind are so hopelessly depraved that not even your death by crucifixion could redeem them. Best stay up here with me and enjoy the show. Let that Mohammed fellow give it a try if he wants."
[ 01. March 2014, 02:29: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
Posted by DangerousDeacon (# 10582) on
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Direction to Royal Engineers - put plenty of fortifications on the north side of the island. Signed, Percival.
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