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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Guns and Ammo
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
*looks up*
No, this isn't Purgatory! This is definitely Heavenly.
As I was driving to my parents' home today, I saw a pickup truck by the side of the road. Great! Now I could finally get one of those yummy watermelons folks have been selling (usually on the other side of the road).
As I drove nearer, my heart sank. The sign on the pickup read "Guns and Ammo". ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
I felt tricked! Betrayed! Disappointed!
This is not the only time I've had my hopes set for one thing, only to get something entirely different.
Once, I went to my friend's for a light lunch. She was going to have angel food cake, so I suggested topping it with frozen strawberry sauce I had made earlier. We were eagerly anticipating a sweet treat, but when I opened the package, out came the tart cranberry sauce that had also been in the freezer. Yes, we laughed, but we were so disappointed.
So, does anyone else have a tale of anticipating one thing and getting an inferior substitute?
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
It looked like chicken but seemed muddy and fishy on the plate. Bones weird too. If you bash a large lizard and put it in the freezer for the dog, please label it.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Many years ago we were on holiday in Cornwall and the people we were staying with planned to serve fresh mackerel one evening.
The mackerel must have been tipped off, because the boats came home that morning with a poor catch. There was no mackerel to be had between St Ives and Newquay.
I'm sure Muscadet isn't the recommended accompaniment to the sausage and mash we had instead.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Zappa
Ship's Wake
# 8433
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Posted
One of my colleagues tells the nightmare story of raiding her daughter's freezer one evening ... and very soon afterwards becoming disoriented, breathless and paranoid.
She was rushed to hospital by another daughter. There the alert doctor became a little suspicious: exactly what sort of cookies does your daughter keep in the freezer?
![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
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shameless self promotion - because I think it's worth it
and mayhap this too: http://broken-moments.blogspot.co.nz/
Posts: 18917 | From: "Central" is all they call it | Registered: Sep 2004
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Zappa:
One of my colleagues tells the nightmare story of raiding her daughter's freezer one evening ... and very soon afterwards becoming disoriented, breathless and paranoid.
She was rushed to hospital by another daughter. There the alert doctor became a little suspicious: exactly what sort of cookies does your daughter keep in the freezer?
Ah, yes. Funny cookies.
I remember once in days of yore spending an afternoon with friends who specialized in -cough- baking. I made the mistake of sating my sweet tooth on "green" oatmeal cookies. Those buggers were potent! ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) And instead of going with my friends to see The Empire Strikes Back I spent several hours getting over the nausea and then sleeping it off on their guest bed, while they happily headed out to see the flick.
Never again. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
One Christmas shortly after my son was born, we decided to visit my husband's family in Vancouver with the new infant. I had a Christmas Eve service to do, so we booked an early flight Christmas morning that got in just after noon, so we'd have time to check into our hotel before heading over to the in laws for Christmas dinner. We checked into our flight, checked our bags, then were informed our flight had been delayed an indeterminate time. We spent the next four hours waiting, but finally our flight was called. Only a slight change in plans we thought-- we'll just go straight from the airport to the Christmas dinner.
Flight leaves LAX, has a scheduled stop in Seattle-- where we are told a blizzard has come and the flight cannot continue. We are stuck there in Seattle on Christmas Day, not a thing was open, and we know not a soul. Instead of dinner, we ended up eating sandwiches from a gas station vending machine.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
A few Thanksgivings ago I had made reservations at a restaurant for myself, my elderly father and his lady friend. When we got to the restaurant, we discovered that it had gone out of business between the time I had made the reservation and Thanksgiving day.
We drove around endlessly trying to find another restaurant that was open and could take us without a reservation. No luck. Finally we found one, but there was a long line waiting to get in and my father didn't feel he could stand for the length of time it would take for us to get to the head of the line.
We ended up picking up three frozen turkey dinners and a frozen pumpkin pie at Walmart and taking them to my father's apartment.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I went through a 2-3 month period when, every time I went in a long drive to go ti a favorite restaurant, it would wind up closed. Like, forever. Disheartening.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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BroJames
Shipmate
# 9636
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Posted
When I was at college it was not an unusual occurrence for a student from overseas to spread their breakfast toast lavishly with the chocolate spread in large jars on each table, only for their expression to change dramatically as they experienced their first taste of Marmite!
Posts: 3374 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2005
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
When I was about six my father and I were eating in a restaurant when he offered me a bite from the scoop of ice cream on his plate. It was mashed potatoes. You think you can trust people.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
he offered me a bite from the scoop of ice cream on his plate. It was mashed potatoes.
Oh, Lord, you've brought back a memory! When I was a teenager, I holed up in my room for hours on end listening to music and reading (no smartphones in those days). If my mother wanted to, say, bring in some clean laundry to put away, she'd knock on the door and say "It's melting!", as she knew I loved ice cream and would open the door for that, but probably not for clean laundry.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
When I was about six my father and I were eating in a restaurant when he offered me a bite from the scoop of ice cream on his plate. It was mashed potatoes. You think you can trust people.
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
I can top that.
I went to one of my church potlucks when I was a teenager, and loaded my plate with what I thought was mashed potatoes.
Lutefisk.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Poor Kelly! ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
In elementary school, I was the fruit and spinach eater. The other students would pass theirs to me since they really didn't like such things. The canned plums were especially tasty.
One memorable day, almost all the kids at my table gave me their plum-looking things. They were gigantic black olives, and when I took a big bite, my whole body rebelled. (I hate olives!)
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Kitten
Shipmate
# 1179
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Posted
I sympathise JediJudy, I also hate olives and have never forgotten the day I was offered a tub of what I thought were dark glace cherries only to discover they were black olives when I bit into one
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Maius intra qua extra
Never accept a ride from a stranger, unless they are in a big blue box
Posts: 2330 | From: Carmarthenshire | Registered: Aug 2001
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
I've never been able to face eating an olive since the day I bit into one thinking it was a grape...
I must like the taste, because I like cooking things in olive oil. But the actual fruit - bleurgh.
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
And I thought I was the only person on earth who is repulsed by the taste of olives! I've mistaken them for grapes too, much to my regret. I'm getting so I can't even stand olive oil.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
... spread their breakfast toast lavishly with the chocolate spread in large jars on each table, only for their expression to change dramatically as they experienced their first taste of Marmite!
You mean you weren't kind enough to point out their mistake before it was committed to their unsuspecting taste-buds???
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
When I was at college it was not an unusual occurrence for a student from overseas to spread their breakfast toast lavishly with the chocolate spread in large jars on each table, only for their expression to change dramatically as they experienced their first taste of Marmite!
You know the one unforgivable sin? You have committed it.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Kelly Alves:
I can top that.
I went to one of my church potlucks when I was a teenager, and loaded my plate with what I thought was mashed potatoes.
Lutefisk.
otoh, when we were in a fancy buffet restaurant in Zambia that catered to tourists (during a touristy break from our ministry there) my 6 year old loaded his plate up with nshima (nat'l staple), which also looks just like mashed potatoes. A waiter quickly rushed over to let him know it wasn't potatoes. Since son had already spent almost a month in Zambia and absolutely loved nshima, he assured the waiter that was what he was hoping for, to the delight of the wait staff.
Sometimes you get Lutefisk, sometimes you get nshima. Nshima is definitely the better deal.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Jengie jon
Semper Reformanda
# 273
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
When I was at college it was not an unusual occurrence for a student from overseas to spread their breakfast toast lavishly with the chocolate spread in large jars on each table, only for their expression to change dramatically as they experienced their first taste of Marmite!
You know the one unforgivable sin? You have committed it.
Now I did that, but I played it entirely straight. I and the other Brit at the table had been delighted to find Marmite at the breakfast table. Something that savoury can make a welcome change from all the jam. The American to whom we addressed this thought it was Brits having a joke; we had just put it on toast such as people do who are familiar with it. The advice to spread it lightly was promptly ignored.
Jengie
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"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge
Back to my blog
Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719
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Posted
When frozen and covered in ice, I have managed to confuse home made chicken stock and apple sauce (puree) looks very similar.
One makes an excellent dessert. One doesn't.
Just this week I went to the back of the fridge to find something which suspiciously looked like a portion of mashed potato which I'd put into a see through container several weeks ago. In fact, it was buttercream icing, which has a rather longer shelf life and went beautifully with the cakes I'd just mdae...
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
We had overseas visitors at a church get together. One church member was suppressing a cough with Fisherman's Friends. The overseas visitors didn't understand one person keeping a tube of sweets all to themselves and started to cast confused and inquiring looks at the packet. Whereupon the person with the Fisherman's Friends thought that perhaps they had a tickly throat, too, and offered the packet.
Much spluttering and spitting into hankies later, the misunderstanding was sorted out.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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jbohn
Shipmate
# 8753
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Posted
If one is quite tired and hungry, one white powder (in more-or-less identical, unlabeled kitchen containers) looks pretty much like another.
Flour makes wonderful sausage gravy.
Powdered sugar does *not*.
Trust me.
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We are punished by our sins, not for them.
--Elbert Hubbard
Posts: 989 | From: East of Eden, west of St. Paul | Registered: Nov 2004
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
I think that to this day my sister suspects that a container of cornstarch she discovered in my kitchen cabinet was instead a certain illicit white powdery substance.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jengie Jon:
The advice to spread it lightly was promptly ignored.
Jengie
Ah, yes, the proper marmite technique.
First, dip one's knife or spreader into the marmite, ~ 1cm. Tip the implement so to create a small mound, no more than half in height than it is long. Now, carefully keeping the blade level so not to spill, walk to the outside bin and deposit knife. Once back inside, call for a hazardous disposal team and order a new bin.
Last step, find something edible to spread on the toast.
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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burlingtontiger
Apprentice
# 18069
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Posted
The one that always caught me out as a kid was parsnip chips. They look like proper potato chips (fries)but are just a cunningly disguised root vegetable. It was enough to make a small boy cry - and it did I expect, on several occasions.
On the bright side, I quite like them now so long as I am fully informed of their identity in advance.
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"If this goes on, my beloved 'earers, it will be my painful duty to rot this bargee"
Posts: 31 | From: Yorkshire, England | Registered: Apr 2014
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Niminypiminy
Shipmate
# 15489
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Posted
Years ago I went to Nice for a holiday at around Easter time with my mother -- who happens to be a very strict vegetarian. Things may have changed, but in those days the Nicois just didn't do vegetarian food, or not at a price we could pay. She had omelette after omelette after omelette.
Finally, she'd had enough. We decided to look for a pizza (even though she doesn't like pizza very much), and found what looked like a very nice little pizzeria in a backstreet. We saw, but thought nothing of, the star of David on the sign outside.
We went in, asked for a pizza. Terribly sorry, but it's passover and we absolutely cannot do pizza for you and, no, no pasta either. But do sit down and stay, we could make you a lovely omelette...
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Lives of the Saints: songs by The Unequal Struggle
http://www.theunequalstruggle.com/
Posts: 776 | From: Edge of the Fens | Registered: Feb 2010
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
When I was much (much!) younger, we were going to have a festival at our church. I was told the children were going to have horses to ride, and wouldn't it be fun? I didn't cry, even though I wanted to when I found these corralled at the church instead.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
cliffdweller said: quote:
We are stuck there in Seattle on Christmas Day, not a thing was open, and we know not a soul. Instead of dinner, we ended up eating sandwiches from a gas station vending machine.
When my sisters and I moved to a tiny city in North Carolina, we were Yankees and quite ignorant of the South. We arrived in town the day before the day before Thanksgiving and thought we'd go grocery shopping before the big day. Well, we got into our rented house and found out the electricity hadn't been switched on yet and wouldn't be for the next three days. So, no cooking for us! And, the next day we were shocked and dismayed to find every single grocery store and restaurant closed! We had to eat something...we were desperate. Our Thanksgiving feast? Hershey chocolate bars, graham crackers, Coca-Cola, and some potato chips. Eaten in the dark house.
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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RevMotherRaphael
Apprentice
# 18102
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Posted
A fellow religious of mine and I were lamenting the state of the parish church kitchen so I said I'd go out to collect a few things for it including a sponge, meaning one for washing up dishes, so you can imagine his disappointment when he came bounding into the kitchen expecting to find a sponge cake and finding nothing of the sort.
I made it up to him by baking his favourite cake the following day.
Posts: 42 | From: Why Heaven, of course, with all of you! | Registered: May 2014
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Lothlorien
Ship's Grandma
# 4927
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Posted
Some years ago we had a student from USA boarding with us. She bought several kilos of mince meat and put it in freezer without any labels.
Knowing I was likely to have an influx of visitors for lunch after church on day, I thawed a pack and made meatballs. No one else seemed to notice or were perhaps too polite to comment.
It was ground kangaroo, complete with chunks of bone, sold as dog meat. I did not like kangaroo meat much then and still cannot eat it after that little episode. The rest of the family laugh at me and happily eat their lightly seared roo steak.
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Buy a bale. Help our Aussie rural communities and farmers. Another great cause needing support The High Country Patrol.
Posts: 9745 | From: girt by sea | Registered: Aug 2003
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