Ship of Fools: What odd things are in your cupboards?

Thread: What odd things are in your cupboards? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

In my upper kitchen cupboard my wife found two missing bottles of Marmite; now I have three but one is all dried up and another one is brand new!

What are the oddest things you lot have found in your cupboard or sideboard?

Posted by Kyzyl (# 374) on :

I have an unopened can of steel cut oats that is at least 5 years old.

Posted by RevMotherRaphael (# 18102) on :

I found a packet of seaweed in the cupboard of house I lived in less than two years and at no point during that time did I make sushi so where did it come from? Seaweed fairy?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I suspect the can of fish paste gifted by a Swedish delegation at the last place I worked (I've been retired 4 years) may be dispensable. (Why the fish paste largesse I have no idea).

There's also some tinned octopus (Greek Week promotion at Lidl) which has celebrated several birthdays in the same cupboard.

We've been making an effort to finish up various bottles in another cupboard - long-lived as Spirituosen can be, some are clocking decades since they were first opened. There's a sticky Norwegian and some Albanian raki and a German liqueur made from rowanberries, inter alia.

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

My grandmother celebrated her 80th birthday with a family party and a big iced fruit cake. A couple of weeks later when we were visiting, we girls got to set the table for tea. Hunting through her cupboard, we found the remains of the fruit cake, and put it on the table.

Half way through the meal, someone observed: 'Gran, didn't your birthday cake have pink icing?'

For indeed, the blue icing-ed cake we had found in her cupboard was from my grandfather's 80th birthday party, five years previously.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

Whole wheat pasta about a year old. I know it is better for you then regular pasta but I really don't like it so I keep putting off using it.
I really should just eat it and maybe I will learn to like it better.

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

My neighbor recently brought me over a small container of homemade minestrone. After eating it and washing out the container, I discovered that I had another of her containers, plus a pyrex baking dish of hers, in my cupboard.

I remember that she had sent me over some homemade marinara sauce via the other container, but I can't remember for the life of me what the pyrex dish had held.

At any rate, all three are now safely back in her possession.

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
... the blue icing-ed cake we had found in her cupboard was from my grandfather's 80th birthday party, five years previously.

Are you sure that blue stuff was icing? [Eek!]

Posted by JFH (# 14794) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I suspect the can of fish paste gifted by a Swedish delegation at the last place I worked (I've been retired 4 years) may be dispensable. (Why the fish paste largesse I have no idea).

Would that be Kalles? If so, it's a staple in Swedish culture exports, a form of caviar that Swedes abroad tend to miss as suitable substitutes cannot be found - it is thus thought to be uniquely Swedish. For all I know, four years of aging might actually just make it better if the package is unopened...

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

quote:
Originally posted by JFH:

quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I suspect the can of fish paste gifted by a Swedish delegation at the last place I worked (I've been retired 4 years) may be dispensable. (Why the fish paste largesse I have no idea).
Would that be Kalles? If so, it's a staple in Swedish culture exports, a form of caviar that Swedes abroad tend to miss as suitable substitutes cannot be found - it is thus thought to be uniquely Swedish. For all I know, four years of aging might actually just make it better if the package is unopened...

I don't think so. There was originally a three pack, and the previous ones were not at all like caviar, just your standard pinkish fishy goop.

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

quote:
Originally posted by piglet:

quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
... the blue icing-ed cake we had found in her cupboard was from my grandfather's 80th birthday party, five years previously.
Are you sure that blue stuff was icing?

Oh yes! Fruitcake lasts forever, especially when liberally doused in sherry! [Big Grin]

Not that we ate it ...

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

I rather like a fresh fruitcake if and only if it is within two weeks of Christmas! I prefer the one I have been eating since I was a kid: it comes from Corsicana, Texas. The local bakery is apparently the main industry there!

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

By the time we had a child to christen, the top tier of our wedding cake was 5 1/2 years old. The wedding icing was removed and it was re-iced, but the fruitcake itself was still fine.

It had been carefully stored, though.

Posted by TheAlethiophile (# 16870) on :

The first time I had to some baking for a school assignment, I asked my mum where she kept the flour. She showed me and left me to get on with the mixing. She kept the flour in a tupperware box with a little circular lid in the top, but evidently she hadn't done much baking herself lately, for when I started to pour the flour into the weighing bowl, I wondered why it kept moving.

I expected some movement as the grains flowed over one another, as with sand which I was far more used to playing with (I was about 7 at the time) but this seemed to go on for ages.

So I asked my mum. She was aghast at the infestation of flour mites that was before her eyes. It was like a small scale version of the snake pit from Raiders of the Lost Ark. Put me off baking for a couple of decades, that did.

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
Whole wheat pasta about a year old. I know it is better for you then regular pasta but I really don't like it so I keep putting off using it.
I really should just eat it and maybe I will learn to like it better.

You won't. Trust me. It's like brown rice.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Sounds like that pack of wholegrains that I even took to France at one point (it was a self-catering holiday). It came back untouched, and then spent another few months in the cupboard until it had achieved its 'best before' date and I could throw it out.

Posted by JoannaP (# 4493) on :

quote:
Originally posted by North East Quine:
By the time we had a child to christen, the top tier of our wedding cake was 5 1/2 years old. The wedding icing was removed and it was re-iced, but the fruitcake itself was still fine.

It had been carefully stored, though.

[Tangent] I went to a christening where the top tier was 10 years old! It required a selection of the father's tools to get through the icing, but the cake was fine.

Posted by burlingtontiger (# 18069) on :

My former, sort-of-mother-in-law received a box one Christmas which she thought contained a wooden cheese-board. She put it away in a cupboard and, not being a cheese fan, forgot all about it. Many, many months later she opened the box to find some rotten cheese that had its own ecosystem. [Projectile]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

I like wholemeal pasta.

Posted by RevMotherRaphael (# 18102) on :

A few years ago I was bringing communion to an elderly parishioner in her home and she insisted on serving me tea afterwards (well actually it was a bottle of wine) but I was horrified to see her put some very old and stale cakes on a plate that had been kept 'fresh' in a crisp packet! [Eek!]

Ashamed to say it but I drank the wine and declined the cakes. [Hot and Hormonal]

Posted by HCH (# 14313) on :

I have a substantial number of little packets of soy sauce and orange sauce which came with deliveries of Chinese food.

Posted by Bob Two-Owls (# 9680) on :

I have a box of British Rail Travellers Fare sugar cubes, wrapped in pairs. It was given to me by a station manager as a leaving present when I left to go back to university from a summer job at Chesterfield station in 1988. I don't take sugar in tea and have honey or salt on my porridge so it has gone untouched ever since. I keep toying with the idea of putting it in a railway memorabilia auction, it would probably make some Timothy Potter's tea taste all the sweeter.

Posted by Kyzyl (# 374) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I rather like a fresh fruitcake if and only if it is within two weeks of Christmas! I prefer the one I have been eating since I was a kid: it comes from Corsicana, Texas. The local bakery is apparently the main industry there!

The Collins Street Bakery. Next to Navarro College it is the biggest thing in town. They ship year around, in case you get a non-seasonal hankering.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

I have a small jar of Fortnum's violet(-flavoured) jelly that I was given as a present some years ago.

It's actually quite delicious, I just haven't got round to either having it on toast/scones, or with roast meat as the label suggested.

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
I rather like a fresh fruitcake if and only if it is within two weeks of Christmas! I prefer the one I have been eating since I was a kid: it comes from Corsicana, Texas. The local bakery is apparently the main industry there!

One year my mother made homemade fruit cake with liberal amounts of booze in them. She put them away in the freezer and didn't serve the until a month or two later. Whew, the alcohol would knock you out of your shoes! But those fruitcakes were soooooo tasty!

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

I have something in my cupboard that's new but still weird. (I think.) Coconut oil. Some elderly man told my son that he used to have Alzheimer's but now he's "cured," due to coconut oil.

For some reason my son thought I should run right out and get some. I did, but it's so odd. It's solid at room temperature so one can't pour it on salad as I had envisioned. I fry things in it when I remember it's there. Perhaps it's too late for me.

Posted by no prophet (# 15560) on :

Lobster paste. Which we used to be able to get in tin cans. We ate it (my 86 year old father and I). Probably there's no more demand. It's that gunk (actually gunk is what we called it when I was a child) that is in the body of the lobster, and we thought was half digested food the lobster ate, but I'm not sure that this is true. It is tasty though.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Graven Image:
Whole wheat pasta about a year old. I know it is better for you then regular pasta but I really don't like it so I keep putting off using it.
I really should just eat it and maybe I will learn to like it better.

You can get used to it by mixing it half-and-half with regular pasta.

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :

I store lots of pantry items in old Altar Bread containers ( like the one on the left in the image here ), so I guess the containers are the oddest thing in my cupboards.

They're just too short to store spaghetti noodles or a 5-lb bag of flour/sugar, but they hold 2 bags of unpopped popcorn, and various beans and pasta, brown and xxxx sugar, etc.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Coconut oil will be liquid at summer room temperatures - I can't remember exactly its melting point, but it will melt in your hands. I've never thought of using it for cooking. Skin care, hair care (not me), maybe. It has a very coconutty smell. I suppose it could be used in dessert dishes. But I am unimaginative - here are a selection.

BBC recipes

I introduced it in science lessons when we were doing melting things,because I wickedly liked to introduce things that behaved unexpectedly. (Like pencil leads conducting electricity, haematite which looked metallic not doing so.)

X-posted - You can get wholewheat wafers?

[ 16. June 2014, 20:51: Message edited by: Penny S ]

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Twilight:
I have something in my cupboard that's new but still weird. (I think.) Coconut oil. Some elderly man told my son that he used to have Alzheimer's but now he's "cured," due to coconut oil.

For some reason my son thought I should run right out and get some. I did, but it's so odd. It's solid at room temperature so one can't pour it on salad as I had envisioned. I fry things in it when I remember it's there. Perhaps it's too late for me.

The old man was probably referring to oil pulling. My nearest health food shop sells it for that purpose. You melt it in your mouth, swirl it round, then spit the oil into a bag and bin it. (Don't spit it out into the sink, or it will solidify in your pipes.)

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :

Oh my. I wouldn't be surprised if that was what he was talking about. I think I'll just give that one a miss then. Spitting into bags just isn't my thing.

Posted by Squirrel (# 3040) on :

I have a box of powdered apple tea mix that we brought back from Turkey two years ago. It has since solidified into something as solid as the stone walls in Istanbul. Yes, I think I should just toss it, but it has sentimental value.

In the back of our fridge we periodically unearth ancient jars of salsa or tomato sauce inhabited by large masses of greenish mold.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

I keep a few skeletons in mine!

...but I really must throw out that old bottle of soy sauce in the fridge - we have moved house with it twice, as far as I can remember - in fact I'll do it NOW!

Posted by burlingtontiger (# 18069) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Squirrel:
I have a box of powdered apple tea mix that we brought back from Turkey two years ago. It has since solidified into something as solid as the stone walls in Istanbul. Yes, I think I should just toss it, but it has sentimental value.

In the back of our fridge we periodically unearth ancient jars of salsa or tomato sauce inhabited by large masses of greenish mold.

Funny, but everyone seems to love apple tea whilst on holiday and then never touches it at home. It seemed to be a tradition to take it to work where it would sit happily, untouched, in a cupboard until the next office move.

Posted by piglet (# 11803) on :

It's the "being there" syndrome: whenever I've been in Norway I've raved about Gjeitost, but when I bought it in a supermarket here it Just Wasn't The Same.

[Frown]

Posted by burlingtontiger (# 18069) on :

quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
It's the "being there" syndrome: whenever I've been in Norway I've raved about Gjeitost, but when I bought it in a supermarket here it Just Wasn't The Same.

Ditto sauerkraut when bought from an English supermarket. Seemed totally different back home. That turned into a long-term cupboard dweller before becoming landfill.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by piglet:
It's the "being there" syndrome: whenever I've been in Norway I've raved about Gjeitost, but when I bought it in a supermarket here it Just Wasn't The Same.

I love it (but haven't had any for years). I grew up with my Swedish-born grandmother living with us, so it was a staple in our house.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Not quite what was meant in the OP, but... flour beetles.

Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on :

For the first time in my life, I now have the beginnings of an earthquake emergency pack in my cupboard. Really can't get my head around that.

Posted by TheAlethiophile (# 16870) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch:
For the first time in my life, I now have the beginnings of an earthquake emergency pack in my cupboard. Really can't get my head around that.

I wonder how long I could live on tomato ketchup, cloves, cinnamon, sage, golden syrup, vinegar, castor sugar and caraway seeds.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:
Not quite what was meant in the OP, but... flour beetles.

Never heard from them as you can't buy them at Tesco, but certainly they qualify as odd!

Posted by Charlie-in-the-box (# 17954) on :

My cupboards are stuffed full so I tried to find the strange things. I have:

a can of hummous--someone gave it to me and I'm scared to eat it because it will probably taste like a can.

a circular device that opens into 3 circles. It has a sponge for lemon juice and two holders for sugar and salt for margaritas.

Walnut oil--heaven knows how old it is

Green and white sprinkles from St Pat's day

1/2 lb container of diced fruitcake mix.

Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on :

quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:

quote:
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch:
For the first time in my life, I now have the beginnings of an earthquake emergency pack in my cupboard. Really can't get my head around that.
I wonder how long I could live on tomato ketchup, cloves, cinnamon, sage, golden syrup, vinegar, castor sugar and caraway seeds.

Put that lot together, and you've probably got the tracker bars that we now have in abundance... [Biased]

Posted by RevMotherRaphael (# 18102) on :

In the middle ages they salted butter so that it could be kept for a year so I don't feel bad about finding butter in the fridge that was well over a year old.

Posted by burlingtontiger (# 18069) on :

quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:

quote:
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch:
For the first time in my life, I now have the beginnings of an earthquake emergency pack in my cupboard. Really can't get my head around that.
I wonder how long I could live on tomato ketchup, cloves, cinnamon, sage, golden syrup, vinegar, castor sugar and caraway seeds.

Sounds like my pantry - I did a stock check earlier: wine vinegar x 2, balsamic vinegar, 2 new bottles of HP sauce, French mustard, olives, red onion marmalade, quick-bake yeast. If it wasn't for the opened pack of ginger-nut biscuits there'd be no food - qua food - in it.

[ 18. June 2014, 15:02: Message edited by: burlingtontiger ]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

Apart from the afore mentioned beetles, which I thought I had left behind at my last place, and then that I had wiped out with insecticide and airtight containers, clove oil and bay leaves, I have far too much stuff.
A. Foreign things that look interesting in Lidl and Aldi. eg fancy flavoured pasta, Polish stews in jars.
B. Things I like that are on BOGOF offers and keep. eg posh ready meals in sachets involving venison, mutton, and other stuff I can't buy fresh.
C. Stuff I bought for microwaving for lunch when I thought I was having a regular supply teaching job.
D. Basic supplies for when we were expecting a flu pandemic.
E. Preserved stuff in jars from when I was doing that a lot.
F. Basic supplies for when I was in two houses and expected to be snowed in.
G. Stuff from my Dad's kitchen.
H. Fancy jars of interesting spreads and sauces which had been reduced. I could supply the Uraguay team with Dulce de Leche.

I am trying to eat through it all, but at the same time trying to lose weight. Not easy. Especially as I am also trying to eat plenty of fresh foods, which are in and out of the kitchen quickly.

Posted by ExclamationMark (# 14715) on :

A large pack of tea bought in Uzbekistan in 2004. Daren't try it as it probably tastes like dust and will crumble like it.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

I have a tin of crap just like this one.

(From Romania)

[Smile]

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

I wouldn't carp about it if I were you. It might be just what is needed some Friday.

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

A bottle of Jarzebiak, rowan vodka from Poland (half finished). It's been there for about 20 years. I may get around to finishing it one day, it's quite pleasant.

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Penny S:

C. Stuff I bought for microwaving for lunch when I thought I was having a regular supply teaching job...

I always eat a school lunch unless it has too many carbs. Then I get an emergency Atkins bar out of my briefcase. A school lunch is less than £2! That is $3.25 in the US including a Coke. They have great things like fajitas and freshly made chef salads in my schools!

Posted by Pearl B4 Swine (# 11451) on :

quote:
Originally posted by churchgeek:
I store lots of pantry items in old Altar Bread containers ( like the one on the left in the image here ), so I guess the containers are the oddest thing in my cupboards.

< Off topic, but...your link has some
odd things for sale, if you scroll down. Like the Christmas wafers. Also, note the descriptions of the wines available. >

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :

My wife wants to know why we have a bottle of blackstrap molasses in the cupboard next to the fridge!

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Where else would you keep it?

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