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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: The Ship of Fools isn't very welcoming ...
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Well, I don't think that's true at all - I think we are an inclusive, positive, welcoming bunch of shipmates!
But why don't more people pop along to the Welcome Aboard thread to welcome newbies?
I recently joined two new forums and was inundated with cheerful greeting messages. I think it's important that any place is openly welcoming to newbies - it's part of what makes us human, isn't it?
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Amos
Shipmate
# 44
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Posted
Since this is in Purgatory I'll venture a reply. In my time here, I've noticed that some people post on the 'Welcome' thread, and others will welcome a new poster when he or she joins in a thread on another board. Yet others, as in a church, will leave it to those who have a calling for welcoming new Shipmates. It seems to me there's a good balance, and people are welcomed without being scared off by our effusiveness.
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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken
Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001
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Eutychus
From the edge
# 3081
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Posted
It's not going to be in Purgatory much longer: it belongs firmly in the Styx.
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Let's remember that we are to build the Kingdom of God, not drive people away - pastor Frank Pomeroy
Posts: 17944 | From: 528491 | Registered: Jul 2002
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quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
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Posted
I don't find this forum particularly welcoming, but I don't mind. Hang on, though, boo hoo hoo, well, maybe I do mind.
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I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
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Gareth
Shipmate
# 2494
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Posted
I came back after a lengthy absence, and when I posted on the Welcome Aboard thread I was quite gratified by the response - it is obvious that people do have a look and say something to welcome newbies.
I didn't expect fluffy bunny hugs - I only used the thread to point out that I'm not wet behind the ears really, and have done this sort of thing before.
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"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."
P. J. O'Rourke
Posts: 345 | From: Chaos | Registered: Mar 2002
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Pomona
Shipmate
# 17175
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Posted
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People on a welcome board. Sorry Boogie - I know it's meant well but for some of us it's actually very intimidating and the opposite of welcoming.
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Consider the work of God: Who is able to straighten what he has bent? [Ecclesiastes 7:13]
Posts: 5319 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2012
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
There is, of course, no one forcing anyone to post on any thread. That includes there being no requirement for new members to post on the Welcome Thread. So, people who don't want to be welcomed by a bunch of complete strangers can just dive into a thread or two of interest and start to get to know the views and quirks of those who've been here a bit longer. IMO, being treated as a valued contributor to a discussion/game/rant (delete as appropriate depending on the board) on a par with everyone else is the best welcome we can give.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People on a welcome board.
Just raise your hand, and one of our ushers will come to your pew with a welcome packet and a tithe pledge form.
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
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Posted
If I see someone with a single digit count post on a thread I am following, I will try to welcome them. I think many do get greeted, in some way or other. But it is not perfect.
We could have a system where newcomers had to post on a thread, and someone was designated to greet them all. I am not sure that would be more welcoming, because it would be more structured.
Overall, I don't think we do badly. We could do better, and we could do more for some people, I am sure, but we have all sorts to cater for. Including a lot of misfits.
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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
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Stetson
Shipmate
# 9597
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People on a welcome board. Sorry Boogie - I know it's meant well but for some of us it's actually very intimidating and the opposite of welcoming.
On a message board, I think the best welcome I could recieve is to have someone notice and comment on my posts. An actual formal welcoming process, from people who only know me as words on a screen, doesn't really mean much.
It's different in the analog world, as for example after a church service, where you have to endure the awkwardness of milling about with no one talking to you. But with a message board, you can just click it off and go do something else.
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I have the power...Lucifer is lord!
Posts: 6574 | From: back and forth between bible belts | Registered: Jun 2005
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Paul.
Shipmate
# 37
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Posted
Going to a specific thread on a specific board in order to welcome or be welcomed feels a bit artificial to me.
Posts: 3690 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
It is a bit artificial. But, it's also a bulletin board so that's par for the course.
I don't think anyone wants a thread discussing whatever serious issue of the day to get swamped by dozens of "hello there, where are you from? How did you find us?" posts everytime someone new joins the conversation. So, we have an artificial welcome thread - which is just an extension of the model here of people holding loads of simultaneous conversations (which is practically impossible in real life).
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Gareth
Shipmate
# 2494
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
We could have a system where newcomers had to post on a thread, and someone was designated to greet them all. I am not sure that would be more welcoming, because it would be more structured.
I'm a moderator on another forum where new members can only post in the welcome thread, and nowhere else until their first post has been approved.
There are reasons for it there, and the effect of making people have to work that little bit harder to join the forum does mean that fewer people join. On that forum, it is a desired result. Here, though...?
quote:
Originally posted by Stetson:
On a message board, I think the best welcome I could recieve is to have someone notice and comment on my posts. An actual formal welcoming process, from people who only know me as words on a screen, doesn't really mean much.
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.
It doesn't matter if you've had a nice, friendly response on the designated "Hi I'm New Here" forum - when that happens you basically feel like you're an unwelcome lurker on the edge of a clique.
A friendly forum isn't one where people greet you in a friendly way. It's one where your contributions to discussions are treated just like everyone else's.
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"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope."
P. J. O'Rourke
Posts: 345 | From: Chaos | Registered: Mar 2002
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Sipech
Shipmate
# 16870
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.
That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war. It's why I rarely comment on threads that are 3 or more pages old, as the conversation has moved beyond the original idea and onto something similar which people like to argue about.
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I try to be self-deprecating; I'm just not very good at it.
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TheAlethiophile
Posts: 3791 | From: On the corporate ladder | Registered: Jan 2012
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The Silent Acolyte
Shipmate
# 1158
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
But why don't more people pop along to the Welcome Aboard thread to welcome newbies?
I almost never darken the door to All Saints. That's why I don't do this. This being a collection of discussion boards, I don't look for and do not offer fellow-feeling except as a byproduct of the cut and thrust.
When I see a poster with a single-digit post count and I otherwise intend to post on that thread, I will welcome the new person. quote:
Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People...
Or, being instructed in the middle of the eucharist to stand up and "tell us something" about myself.
I'm looking at you, Christ Church, Anchorage!
Posts: 7462 | From: The New World | Registered: Aug 2001
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.
That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war. It's why I rarely comment on threads that are 3 or more pages old, as the conversation has moved beyond the original idea and onto something similar which people like to argue about.
There's another good reason why posts that are relevant do not attract any replies and that is because they are too accurate to contradict and too comprehensive for further development.
Next time you feel ignored, you can console yourself with that, even here.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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lilBuddha
Shipmate
# 14333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.
That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war.
And sometimes it gets missed. Or seen, acknowledged but not commented on. Happens in real life conversations.
AS an aside, non of my comments were replied to for quite some time, here.
But it didn't work people, I'm still here.
I'm still here.....
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I put on my rockin' shoes in the morning
Hallellou, hallellou
Posts: 17627 | From: the round earth's imagined corners | Registered: Dec 2008
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Prester John
Shipmate
# 5502
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Posted
Are welcoming emails still sent out to new people? I remember getting one from Kelly Alves right after I signed up. I don't remember if that was "official" or something on her own initiative because she was local and friendly.
Posts: 884 | From: SF Bay Area | Registered: Feb 2004
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Paul.
Shipmate
# 37
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It is a bit artificial. But, it's also a bulletin board so that's par for the course.
I don't think anyone wants a thread discussing whatever serious issue of the day to get swamped by dozens of "hello there, where are you from? How did you find us?" posts everytime someone new joins the conversation. So, we have an artificial welcome thread - which is just an extension of the model here of people holding loads of simultaneous conversations (which is practically impossible in real life).
I mainly meant artificial for me - which is why I don't generally go there. I wasn't arguing the Ship shouldn't have a Welcome thread.
Posts: 3690 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Lucia
Looking for light
# 15201
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by lilBuddha:
quote:
Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.
That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war.
And sometimes it gets missed. Or seen, acknowledged but not commented on. Happens in real life conversations.
AS an aside, non of my comments were replied to for quite some time, here.
But it didn't work people, I'm still here.
I'm still here.....
All sounds like the reaction to most of my posts on SoF. I think I've concluded that there is some element of me not being part of the in-crowd, perhaps not being clever enough or simply being boring. But hey I don't think I'm that great at social interactions in real life either. I either say too much and don't know when to stop or say too little...
Despite that I enjoy reading here and contributing when something to say strikes me. But I agree that feeling that your contribution to the conversation was in some way valued is probably more important to feeling welcome than lots of people saying "Hi".
[ 28. May 2014, 18:20: Message edited by: Lucia ]
Posts: 1075 | From: Nigh golden stone and spires | Registered: Oct 2009
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Gwai
Shipmate
# 11076
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lucia:
]All sounds like the reaction to most of my posts on SoF. I think I've concluded that there is some element of me not being part of the in-crowd, perhaps not being clever enough or simply being boring. But hey I don't think I'm that great at social interactions in real life either. I either say too much and don't know when to stop or say too little...
Seriously, I think that's what happens to most of everyone's posts. We just don't notice because by definition if we notice the post and discuss it then it's a post that did stand out more.
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A master of men was the Goodly Fere,
A mate of the wind and sea.
If they think they ha’ slain our Goodly Fere
They are fools eternally.
Posts: 11914 | From: Chicago | Registered: Feb 2006
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Just to say you've posted some good stuff on the UKIP thread, including a link to interesting research. But, that thread moves on quite quickly (especially as I was away for a long weekend) and your posts have either been not quite on the particular subtheme that caught my attention, or by the time I read them the discussion had moved on a bit. That's normal.
Personally I never expect anyone to respond to my posts. Unless I'm posting in an official capacity as an Admin in which case I expect everyone to take notice - but even then a response isn't necessary, just obedience.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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daronmedway
Shipmate
# 3012
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Posted
Truth be told I don't tend to welcome people because I don't feel fully welcome myself!
Posts: 6976 | From: Southampton | Registered: Jul 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
As a Heaven/AS Host, I normally point out the Welcome thread but always add that it's not obligatory - because I'm the sort that hates being told to say Hello to the other children.
Posting as a poster, I expect 'non-acknowledgement' rate of about 80-90%. Based, I'd have to say, on my own ratio of reading to commenting/quoting.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I'm fine with not receiving responses -- except when I post something that is ignored, and then a day or two later someone else posts exactly the same thing and gets lots of positive responses. Such is life.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
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Posted
That is so annoying, but as you say - it does just happen.
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All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
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Olaf
Shipmate
# 11804
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Posted
Having hung around Eccles for awkwardly long, I'd say that almost every recent enlistee (1-10 posts) receives a greeting. Typically they come from a couple of the regulars who happen by at that moment, and a host or two. If this has happened by the time I discover the newbie, then I'll skip the welcome. If not, then I handle it. It seems to be how we operate. I think the 'machine' works. As for All Saints, I don't make it there often.
Perhaps we should do a rota for Greeters?
Posts: 8953 | From: Ad Midwestem | Registered: Sep 2006
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Imaginary Friend
Real to you
# 186
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Posted
Personally, I think the best way to welcome someone is to engage with them in a way that shows you think their thoughts and opinions count as much as those with five figure post counts.
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"We had a good team on paper. Unfortunately, the game was played on grass."
Brian Clough
Posts: 9455 | From: Left a bit... Right a bit... | Registered: May 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I'm fine with not receiving responses -- except when I post something that is ignored, and then a day or two later someone else posts exactly the same thing and gets lots of positive responses. Such is life.
Just shout "hey - I just said that!!" ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
quote:
Originally posted by Gareth:
A friendly forum isn't one where people greet you in a friendly way. It's one where your contributions to discussions are treated just like everyone else's.
This is an excellent point ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
[ 29. May 2014, 11:25: Message edited by: Boogie ]
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by daronmedway:
Truth be told I don't tend to welcome people because I don't feel fully welcome myself!
When I was new I felt hugely intimidated. I edited and deleted my posts several times because I was terrified of inadvertently giving offence to anyone - it was, after all, a forum on the internet that could be seen anywhere in the world. I finally plucked up the courage to post (yeah, ok, 13 years ago the WWW wasn't a fact of life the way it is now) and met with a resounding silence while the discussion swirled and rumbled on past me.
Except for one person, who took the time to say hello and make a friendly remark. I can't remember what he said now, but I do still remember that feeling of relief and gratitude.
There wasn't a welcome thread in those days. If there had been I'd have felt better about posting. But the only option was to try to plunge straight in to discussions with people who mostly seemed to know each other well, be experts in subjects I knew little about, and often seemed to be quite forthright and passionate about what they thought.
Something of the same may still be true today. I'd love to see some of the long-term lurkers come out of the shadows and say hello - do come and join in if you're reading this! I recognize that some of them may find the leap from reading to actual posting a bit scary, though. But after a while, that feeling goes.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
I find it a little bit rude if someone responds to someone else's post by quoting them and interacting with what they said but then doesn't a reply...a bit like a real life conversation when you reply to what someone has said, they ignore you and engage with someone else.
I know that some of the threads move really quickly and it may not be intentional but I could quite easily see why the lack of response could contribute to someone feeling unwelcome.
That said, when I first summoned up the courage to post on the boards, I was simply and kindly acknowledged by a couple of shipmates. I then discovered the welcome thread and introduced myself there.
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
After nearly 9 years aboard, I do find it still irritating if I make a point in a discussion and am ignored, but someone might make the same point a few posts down and be congratulated for being so astute and quoted approvingly for the next ten posts.
On the other hand, sometimes I do get picked up, so I just shrug off my irritation and pull up my big boy pants and carry on with life.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Sometimes, though, you don't get a reply because the person you've quoted is either not on the thread anymore (real life etc) or because they can't think of what to say. Or because the conversation has clearly moved way, way on. It's awkward...
Then, too, some of us are just shy. that's why I don't frequent the welcome thread--it feels like putting myself forward too much, becoming some sort of semi-official greeter. No doubt that's stupid and silly, but I'm better off when we have a set topic to discuss, and the "welcome" can come in the context of a discussion of something we're both interested in. (Yes, I'm the kind of person who sits at the back and hides behind the door. Unless I'm one of the hosts for an event, in which case duty takes over)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Certainly "not biting the newbies" is nice. I had found the Ship on an internet search which took me to Hell, and I stupidly posted there first and got called names, to which I objected, and was called worse. One shipmate poster then kindly decided to stop the hazing and swearing long enough to provide helpful direction. Without whom, likely I would have gone away. I thought at the time that considering the abuse was also coming from people with official roles that the boards were out of control. I've not seen this since, and perhaps I was merely in the wrong place at the wrong time.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Then, too, some of us are just shy. that's why I don't frequent the welcome thread--it feels like putting myself forward too much, becoming some sort of semi-official greeter. No doubt that's stupid and silly, but I'm better off when we have a set topic to discuss, and the "welcome" can come in the context of a discussion of something we're both interested in. (Yes, I'm the kind of person who sits at the back and hides behind the door. Unless I'm one of the hosts for an event, in which case duty takes over)
Yes, that's me as well - especially as I lurk much more than I post here, it feels a bit... like I'm not one of the "regulars" who are s bit more representative of the Ship. Or something like that, anyway.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
Interesting, if I agree with someone who quoted me and don't have much to say, I don't usually respond. It feels silly to respond saying, "yeah, that too."
I can see the sense of that. I think I probably do respond, simply because I'd feel rude if I didn't!
I'm not a prolific poster but I am an avid reader and so I spend a lot of time wondering how other shipmates might be feeling about responses/ lack of responses....I know, I should get out more.....
[ 29. May 2014, 18:51: Message edited by: MrsBeaky ]
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"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gwai:
quote:
Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
I find it a little bit rude if someone responds to someone else's post by quoting them and interacting with what they said but then doesn't a reply...a bit like a real life conversation when you reply to what someone has said, they ignore you and engage with someone else.
Interesting, if I agree with someone who quoted me and don't have much to say, I don't usually respond. It feels silly to respond saying, "yeah, that too."
Or if they've been kind enough to compliment it, what are you supposed to do? Thanks is fine if you see it immediately, but do that too often or too far down the page and it feels like making the thread all about you.
![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
Ho hum.
I don't post very often either. I've been reading the ship religiously (haw haw) for nearly 10 years now but I always felt outside the group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other. I am never sure if what I have to say will be considered interesting or useful or worse just stupid so mostly I just shut up. I do like reading though, you all have very interesting and insightful things to say.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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Stejjie
Shipmate
# 13941
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Macrina:
Ho hum.
I don't post very often either. I've been reading the ship religiously (haw haw) for nearly 10 years now but I always felt outside the group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other. I am never sure if what I have to say will be considered interesting or useful or worse just stupid so mostly I just shut up. I do like reading though, you all have very interesting and insightful things to say.
I think that's a good way of putting it, a "group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other". ISTM that it's not so much an "in crowd" who are all very much alike (the accusation that I've seen levelled here sometimes), more that there are a core group of Shippies who are used to each other and to reacting to each other in certain ways. And if you're not part of that group, it can be a bit harder to put in your contribution when the discussion between some of them is in full flow.
And, yeah, you can feel a bit like your contribution's being a bit ignored. And it probably is a bit silly to get too worked up about that, but just sometimes you can't help thinking "If xxx had posted that, it'd have got a response". Which probably isn't true, but the thought does cross your mind.
But then, OTOH, something happens like Kelly putting something I wrote in the Quotes Files (never did thank you for that, Kelly, even though it was aaaages ago ) and I think I do have a place here.
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A not particularly-alt-worshippy, fairly mainstream, mildly evangelical, vaguely post-modern-ish Baptist
Posts: 1117 | From: Urmston, Manchester, UK | Registered: Jul 2008
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
for the record, I'm generally accused of being part of the mythological "in crowd" and I often post only to have it completely ignored. Usually, because I didn't express myself well or misunderstood the topic at hand or someone said something better than I did or (most often) because I made some useless aside comment. it happens to all of us.
It's the nature of the media. in a conversation of a bunch of friends sitting around the table, it's not linear. in a discussion "thread" it has to be linear. and there's no place for eye contact and a nod or a little chuckle showing that we did in fact hear you, but we are responding to someone else, or more often, just listening.
if you want to know if we're seeing your posts, go say something really stupid in Hell. should clear that question right up.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by comet:
if you want to know if we're seeing your posts, go say something really stupid in Hell. should clear that question right up.
Getting UBB code wrong in Hell is a surefire way to get noticed. Like drawing the target and providing a laser designator.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Also, there are distinct - albeit perhaps overlapping - 'crowds'. I have no idea who posts in Kerg or Eccles and very little for DH. Purg and the Circus, I would say I'm at best a peripheral poster (though I probably read more of Purg). Everybody reads Hell, c'mon.
AS and more particularly Heaven, I think of myself more as part of the furniture.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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comet
Snowball in Hell
# 10353
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Posted
Firenze, think of yourself as the striking statement piece - a bright red arty coffee table - and not the ancient, comfy, beige lazy boy.
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Evil Dragon Lady, Breaker of Men's Constitutions
"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.” -Calvin
Posts: 17024 | From: halfway between Seduction and Peril | Registered: Sep 2005
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Garasu
Shipmate
# 17152
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Firenze:
I would say I'm at best a peripheral poster
Sorry. That's totally delusional...
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"Could I believe in the doctrine without believing in the deity?". - Modesitt, L. E., Jr., 1943- Imager.
Posts: 889 | From: Surrey Heath (England) | Registered: Jun 2012
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
I've always thought of myself more as a Baroque sideboard.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Following Garasu's post rather than Comet's, that does sound a tad delusional...
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Cenobite
Shipmate
# 14853
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Posted
I'm hesitant to post this, but maybe the appearance of this thread is the prompt I need to test the waters and see if it's time to get back into posting.
I lurked for quite a while before actually registering and starting to interact. I haven't posted a lot, as you can see, but it tended to be in All Saints (mostly) and on a couple of the threads in Purgatory and the Circus. I didn't really get any reaction to anything I posted, but I figured that was to be expected when I was new.
However, the experience which caused me to think, "Whoa, I'm really not welcome here, am I?" was when Mrs. C was expecting our first (and only) baby. I posted a couple of times in the 'Shipmates Expecting thread'. The first time was to announce that we were expecting (after many years of trying). No response. Not even an acknowledgement. Again, I figured it was because I was still new.
Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us. And so that was it. I haven't left completely - just gone back to lurking and following threads which I find personally interesting - but my posts since then could probably be counted on one hand (I haven't checked exactly how many).
So that's my story, for what it's worth. It didn't bother me if no one responded to a post of mine in Purgatory - it was the lack of response in a thread which I thought was designed to support people that prompted me to withdraw.
I'm not even sure if I want to get more involved! But since I noticed this thread, it felt right to share my experience. Make of it what you will.
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Cenobite: means "Common Life"; cenobites lived in community, serving one another and the rest of humanity.
Posts: 109 | From: On a journey of discovery. | Registered: Jun 2009
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by PeteC:
After nearly 9 years aboard, I do find it still irritating if I make a point in a discussion and am ignored, but someone might make the same point a few posts down and be congratulated for being so astute and quoted approvingly for the next ten posts.
Hey - I just said that!!
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Cenobite:
I'm hesitant to post this, but maybe the appearance of this thread is the prompt I need to test the waters and see if it's time to get back into posting.
I lurked for quite a while before actually registering and starting to interact. I haven't posted a lot, as you can see, but it tended to be in All Saints (mostly) and on a couple of the threads in Purgatory and the Circus. I didn't really get any reaction to anything I posted, but I figured that was to be expected when I was new.
However, the experience which caused me to think, "Whoa, I'm really not welcome here, am I?" was when Mrs. C was expecting our first (and only) baby. I posted a couple of times in the 'Shipmates Expecting thread'. The first time was to announce that we were expecting (after many years of trying). No response. Not even an acknowledgement. Again, I figured it was because I was still new.
Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us. And so that was it. I haven't left completely - just gone back to lurking and following threads which I find personally interesting - but my posts since then could probably be counted on one hand (I haven't checked exactly how many).
So that's my story, for what it's worth. It didn't bother me if no one responded to a post of mine in Purgatory - it was the lack of response in a thread which I thought was designed to support people that prompted me to withdraw.
I'm not even sure if I want to get more involved! But since I noticed this thread, it felt right to share my experience. Make of it what you will.
And now people will read this and not quite know what to say, and you will feel overlooked again...
I don't know what to say either. I've ocassionally gutspilt on threads - generally to no reaction. Probably just as well.
I don't know how many thousands of words are written on the Ship every day. Several, I should think. Everyone, bar the Hosts, must skim. Some posters - the late, lamented ken for one - probably get read more thoroughly than the rest, because they're more interesting, more flamboyant. They write well. I suspect my few deeply felt posts were also rather terse and not particularly riveting.
I was watching today - unusually for me - commercial TV, because it was showing the French Open. And I found I could, with very little practice, blank out Save the Children's skeletal babies as easily as I could the car insurance and Stannah stair lifts.
So I suppose what it comes down to is that it's not necessarily enough to have something pertinent, or personally important to say, you also need to catch the attention. Obviously enough posters catch either other's attention enough to sustain the boards, but as often as not the audience for any particular post didn't show up today.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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