quote:

---

Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People on a welcome board.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People on a welcome board. Sorry Boogie - I know it's meant well but for some of us it's actually very intimidating and the opposite of welcoming.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Schroedinger's cat:
We could have a system where newcomers had to post on a thread, and someone was designated to greet them all. I am not sure that would be more welcoming, because it would be more structured.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stetson:
On a message board, I think the best welcome I could recieve is to have someone notice and comment on my posts. An actual formal welcoming process, from people who only know me as words on a screen, doesn't really mean much.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Boogie:
But why don't more people pop along to the Welcome Aboard thread to welcome newbies?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jade Constable:
There's nothing I'd hate more than being the centre of attention and being pointed out as a newbie, or surrounded by Very Friendly People...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.

---

That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war. It's why I rarely comment on threads that are 3 or more pages old, as the conversation has moved beyond the original idea and onto something similar which people like to argue about.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.

---

That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
It is a bit artificial. But, it's also a bulletin board so that's par for the course.

I don't think anyone wants a thread discussing whatever serious issue of the day to get swamped by dozens of "hello there, where are you from? How did you find us?" posts everytime someone new joins the conversation. So, we have an artificial welcome thread - which is just an extension of the model here of people holding loads of simultaneous conversations (which is practically impossible in real life).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by lilBuddha:

quote:

---

Originally posted by TheAlethiophile:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:
The most off-putting part of being new to a forum is when you join a conversation thread, make a comment, quote someone, post something you think is relevant - and the conversation ploughs on around you without even acknowledging your contribution.

---

That happens a lot to non-newbies too. Unless you say something outrageously stupid, there's no guarantee anyone will reply, particularly if you happen to have a pertinent post related to the OP which lands on the middle of a flame war.

---

And sometimes it gets missed. Or seen, acknowledged but not commented on. Happens in real life conversations.
AS an aside, non of my comments were replied to for quite some time, here.
But it didn't work people, I'm still here.


I'm still here.....

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lucia:
]All sounds like the reaction to most of my posts on SoF. I think I've concluded that there is some element of me not being part of the in-crowd, perhaps not being clever enough or simply being boring. But hey I don't think I'm that great at social interactions in real life either. I either say too much and don't know when to stop or say too little...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
I'm fine with not receiving responses -- except when I post something that is ignored, and then a day or two later someone else posts exactly the same thing and gets lots of positive responses. Such is life.

---

Just shout "hey - I just said that!!"

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:

A friendly forum isn't one where people greet you in a friendly way. It's one where your contributions to discussions are treated just like everyone else's.

---

This is an excellent point

[ 29. May 2014, 11:25: Message edited by: Boogie ]
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by daronmedway:
Truth be told I don't tend to welcome people because I don't feel fully welcome myself!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:

Then, too, some of us are just shy. that's why I don't frequent the welcome thread--it feels like putting myself forward too much, becoming some sort of semi-official greeter. No doubt that's stupid and silly, but I'm better off when we have a set topic to discuss, and the "welcome" can come in the context of a discussion of something we're both interested in. (Yes, I'm the kind of person who sits at the back and hides behind the door. Unless I'm one of the hosts for an event, in which case duty takes over)

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
I find it a little bit rude if someone responds to someone else's post by quoting them and interacting with what they said but then doesn't a reply...a bit like a real life conversation when you reply to what someone has said, they ignore you and engage with someone else.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gwai:
Interesting, if I agree with someone who quoted me and don't have much to say, I don't usually respond. It feels silly to respond saying, "yeah, that too."

---

I can see the sense of that. I think I probably do respond, simply because I'd feel rude if I didn't!
I'm not a prolific poster but I am an avid reader and so I spend a lot of time wondering how other shipmates might be feeling about responses/ lack of responses....I know, I should get out more.....

[ 29. May 2014, 18:51: Message edited by: MrsBeaky ]
 

---

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gwai:

quote:

---

Originally posted by MrsBeaky:
I find it a little bit rude if someone responds to someone else's post by quoting them and interacting with what they said but then doesn't a reply...a bit like a real life conversation when you reply to what someone has said, they ignore you and engage with someone else.

---

Interesting, if I agree with someone who quoted me and don't have much to say, I don't usually respond. It feels silly to respond saying, "yeah, that too."

---

Or if they've been kind enough to compliment it, what are you supposed to do? Thanks is fine if you see it immediately, but do that too often or too far down the page and it feels like making the thread all about you.

 

---

Posted by Macrina (# 8807) on :
 
Ho hum.

I don't post very often either. I've been reading the ship religiously (haw haw) for nearly 10 years now but I always felt outside the group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other. I am never sure if what I have to say will be considered interesting or useful or worse just stupid so mostly I just shut up. I do like reading though, you all have very interesting and insightful things to say.
 

---

Posted by Stejjie (# 13941) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Macrina:
Ho hum.

I don't post very often either. I've been reading the ship religiously (haw haw) for nearly 10 years now but I always felt outside the group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other. I am never sure if what I have to say will be considered interesting or useful or worse just stupid so mostly I just shut up. I do like reading though, you all have very interesting and insightful things to say.

---

I think that's a good way of putting it, a "group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other". ISTM that it's not so much an "in crowd" who are all very much alike (the accusation that I've seen levelled here sometimes), more that there are a core group of Shippies who are used to each other and to reacting to each other in certain ways. And if you're not part of that group, it can be a bit harder to put in your contribution when the discussion between some of them is in full flow.

And, yeah, you can feel a bit like your contribution's being a bit ignored. And it probably is a bit silly to get too worked up about that, but just sometimes you can't help thinking "If xxx had posted that, it'd have got a response". Which probably isn't true, but the thought does cross your mind.

But then, OTOH, something happens like Kelly putting something I wrote in the Quotes Files (never did thank you for that, Kelly, even though it was aaaages ago ) and I think I do have a place here.
 

---

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
for the record, I'm generally accused of being part of the mythological "in crowd" and I often post only to have it completely ignored. Usually, because I didn't express myself well or misunderstood the topic at hand or someone said something better than I did or (most often) because I made some useless aside comment. it happens to all of us.

It's the nature of the media. in a conversation of a bunch of friends sitting around the table, it's not linear. in a discussion "thread" it has to be linear. and there's no place for eye contact and a nod or a little chuckle showing that we did in fact hear you, but we are responding to someone else, or more often, just listening.

if you want to know if we're seeing your posts, go say something really stupid in Hell. should clear that question right up.
 

---

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by comet:

if you want to know if we're seeing your posts, go say something really stupid in Hell. should clear that question right up.

---

Getting UBB code wrong in Hell is a surefire way to get noticed. Like drawing the target and providing a laser designator.
 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Also, there are distinct - albeit perhaps overlapping - 'crowds'. I have no idea who posts in Kerg or Eccles and very little for DH. Purg and the Circus, I would say I'm at best a peripheral poster (though I probably read more of Purg). Everybody reads Hell, c'mon.

AS and more particularly Heaven, I think of myself more as part of the furniture.
 

---

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
Firenze, think of yourself as the striking statement piece - a bright red arty coffee table - and not the ancient, comfy, beige lazy boy.
 

---

Posted by Garasu (# 17152) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
I would say I'm at best a peripheral poster

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by PeteC:
After nearly 9 years aboard, I do find it still irritating if I make a point in a discussion and am ignored, but someone might make the same point a few posts down and be congratulated for being so astute and quoted approvingly for the next ten posts.

---

Hey - I just said that!!

 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cenobite:
I'm hesitant to post this, but maybe the appearance of this thread is the prompt I need to test the waters and see if it's time to get back into posting.

I lurked for quite a while before actually registering and starting to interact. I haven't posted a lot, as you can see, but it tended to be in All Saints (mostly) and on a couple of the threads in Purgatory and the Circus. I didn't really get any reaction to anything I posted, but I figured that was to be expected when I was new.

However, the experience which caused me to think, "Whoa, I'm really not welcome here, am I?" was when Mrs. C was expecting our first (and only) baby. I posted a couple of times in the 'Shipmates Expecting thread'. The first time was to announce that we were expecting (after many years of trying). No response. Not even an acknowledgement. Again, I figured it was because I was still new.

Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us. And so that was it. I haven't left completely - just gone back to lurking and following threads which I find personally interesting - but my posts since then could probably be counted on one hand (I haven't checked exactly how many).

So that's my story, for what it's worth. It didn't bother me if no one responded to a post of mine in Purgatory - it was the lack of response in a thread which I thought was designed to support people that prompted me to withdraw.

I'm not even sure if I want to get more involved! But since I noticed this thread, it felt right to share my experience. Make of it what you will.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cenobite:
Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gwai:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cenobite:
Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us.

---

Well, no one told you that they had. I mention the difference because I remember when that happened. I prayed. I just didn't tell you because I have a very uneasy relationship with telling people that I pray for them. Feels like it might be helpful, but it could also be boasting or something.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Absolutely I didn't see the post about the pregnancy problems because that's one of my hot buttons and I would have definitely responded. And do so now, saying I'm so sorry, I've been there myself and it was awful.

But it goes to show you, doesn't it? I'm on the Ship usually several times a day, and I read the prayer thread and other All Saints threads--and yet I missed it. Don't know if I was in a rare period away from computers or what. But it definitely isn't intended.

Please do give us another chance.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cenobite:

Then, a little later, when the pregnancy was going through a very difficult and worrying period, I posted again to say this. Again, not even an acknowledgement in what I thought was a supportive thread. Other conversations continued around my post, but no one offered any support or prayer for us.

---

Sorry about that Cenobite

I don't look at that thread.

I know why too, it makes me jealous! I am such a motherly person and it makes me all broody to hear of others expecting. (Which is no use to me at all at 57 years old) Which is no excuse at all, I know.

Of course, some people never visit any other area of the Ship except Purgatory. When this thread was moved to the Styx I thought it would just sink away. But I was wrong.

I still think that when people have posted on the 'Welcome' thread it would be good if more people acknowledged their posts - people who are shy don't have to go there at all of course. I also like the 'how did you choose your Shipname?' type questions.


 

---

Posted by daronmedway (# 3012) on :
 
After many years aboard, it still annoys me if I make a point in a discussion and get ignored, but then someone else makes the same point further down the thread and gets quoted for it in the sigs of the in-crowd.
 

---

Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stejjie:
I think that's a good way of putting it, a "group of people who were very used to interacting and debating with each other".

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by daronmedway:
After many years aboard, it still annoys me if I make a point in a discussion and get ignored, but then someone else makes the same point further down the thread and gets quoted for it in the sigs of the in-crowd.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Maybe it's that people don't read threads before posting?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Gareth:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Maybe it's that people don't read threads before posting?

---

TL;DR is a curse that we all fall victim to at some point.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Page and a bit? Less than even the snappiest article in the LRB? Stuff that.

Speed/skim reading is a skill any literate person possesses.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Page and a bit? Less than even the snappiest article in the LRB? Stuff that.

Speed/skim reading is a skill any literate person possesses.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

---

Originally posted by daronmedway:
After many years aboard, it still annoys me if I make a point in a discussion and get ignored, but then someone else makes the same point further down the thread and gets quoted for it in the sigs of the in-crowd.

---

You are not alone. In fact, far from it.

Maybe it's that people don't read threads before posting?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Page and a bit? Less than even the snappiest article in the LRB? Stuff that.

Speed/skim reading is a skill any literate person possesses.

---

I've taught far too many academic high-flyers who read painfully slowly for me to agree with that.
 

---

Posted by jrw (# 18045) on :
 
I would imagine most people are more likely to respond when they disagree than if they agree.
 

---

Posted by Chocoholic (# 4655) on :
 
Probably partly cos just agreeing without anything else to add doesn't feel like it is adding anything to a discussion.

But I do agree with you
 

---

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chocoholic:
Probably partly cos just agreeing without anything else to add doesn't feel like it is adding anything to a discussion.

But I do agree with you

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cenobite:
I know that probably 95% of the Ship wouldn't even look at that thread - why would they unless they were 'Expecting Shipmates' too?

---

Well, it doesn't always follow. I am a self-confessed lurker and occasional poster on the Truth Universally Acknowledged thread for singles, despite being an old married. I am sorry for your experience and ask, with Lamb Chopped, that you give us another chance.

I haven't visited the Welcome thread before today and I've been thinking about why. I can't remember whether I posted there myself when I joined, possibly not, because in my initial post here in a thread I think I must have said something like, "Hi, I'm new" and got several nice welcoming posts. To go to the Welcome thread would have felt a bit artificial and as if I were trying to make too big a thing of my arrival.

Like a number of people I read most of the boards but only post in a few as in places like Purgatory and Ecclesiantics I feel well out of my depth most of the time and can only watch in awe when the threads are in full flow.

I do see, from today's visit there, that the Welcome thread is a valuable place for helping people to settle in and showing them where to stow their dunnage, also learning a bit about new shipmates, so I'll make a point of going there more often.

Nen - God bless the Ship and all who sail in her.
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
I didn't post on the Welcome thread when I joined because I was much more concerned about anonymity than I am now. I didn't want to post "Hi, I'm Pigwidgeon! Sorry, I don't want to tell you where I live or anything else about me!"

Now I sometimes read the Welcome thread, but too many welcomes to each new person remind me of a 12-step meeting, where the newbie says "Hi, I'm Bill W., and I'm an alcoholic." And then everyone starts shouting out "Hi, Bill!" It's almost like a dogpile. One or two welcomes are nice -- I especially like Welease Woderwick's.
 

---

Posted by Late Paul (# 37) on :
 
I think the art of being replied to is to either a) be very smart and insightful or b) say something someone else will disagree with strongly enough to want to argue against.

I actually spend a fair amount of time prior to posting thinking about what I'm going to say from various angles, thinking about potential objections. I wonder sometimes if that isn't why 95% of my musings are too middle-of-the-road reasonable/bland to be worthy of comment.

That and the fact that the in-crowd hates me obviously.
 

---

Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Boogie:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Chocoholic:
Probably partly cos just agreeing without anything else to add doesn't feel like it is adding anything to a discussion.

But I do agree with you

---

I do quite like 'like' buttons for that reason.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
"Like" buttons kill discussion, IMO. You make a remark and nobody actually says anything, you just get a quantity of thumbs-ups. Fine if you just want validation but on a discussion board it's unhelpful.

---

Yes I agree - it means there's no discussion and you don't have to thing about what the person has said - there may be things you could add to the discussion for instance which you then don't do!
On the whole I think S-o-F does pretty well - the various arguments are often well presented and personal attacks are prohibited - people are expected to think about what they post before they actually do so. Compared with some of our newspapers (some?) it's quite a haven!

 

---

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :
 
Ooh, my trigger finger was all ready to press 'LIKE' on Stephen's post....
 

---

Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Actually this thread has been quite heartening to hear my own experiences reflected by others too! (It's not just me!!) Thank you folks! (And thank you Alan for you kind comment)

[ 01. June 2014, 13:37: Message edited by: Lucia ]
 

---

Posted by Candide (# 15755) on :
 
Speaking as a frequent lurker, trying to gather the courage to become a frequent poster, then I also rather like this thread.

There are a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, witty people posting here. That certainly makes it a little bit scary to make a post of your own. Still, having an inclusive sort of atmosphere, like the one demonstrated here, makes it a lot easier.
 

---

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stephen:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
"Like" buttons kill discussion, IMO. You make a remark and nobody actually says anything, you just get a quantity of thumbs-ups. Fine if you just want validation but on a discussion board it's unhelpful.

---

Yes I agree - it means there's no discussion and you don't have to thing about what the person has said - there may be things you could add to the discussion for instance which you then don't do!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Candide:
Speaking as a frequent lurker, trying to gather the courage to become a frequent poster, then I also rather like this thread.

There are a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, witty people posting here. That certainly makes it a little bit scary to make a post of your own. Still, having an inclusive sort of atmosphere, like the one demonstrated here, makes it a lot easier.

---

Don't worry Candide, there are plenty of us who are not so intelligent, witty or knowledgable too.
 

---

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by mousethief:
I don't think there are people with things to say who merely click "like" instead of saying them. I think it's more the case that people who don't feel they have anything to say, but still want to indicate their approval of someone's comment, click the button.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raptor Eye:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Candide:
Speaking as a frequent lurker, trying to gather the courage to become a frequent poster, then I also rather like this thread.

There are a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, witty people posting here. That certainly makes it a little bit scary to make a post of your own. Still, having an inclusive sort of atmosphere, like the one demonstrated here, makes it a lot easier.

---

Don't worry Candide, there are plenty of us who are not so intelligent, witty or knowledgable too.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raptor Eye:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Candide:
Speaking as a frequent lurker, trying to gather the courage to become a frequent poster, then I also rather like this thread.

There are a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, witty people posting here. That certainly makes it a little bit scary to make a post of your own. Still, having an inclusive sort of atmosphere, like the one demonstrated here, makes it a lot easier.

---

Don't worry Candide, there are plenty of us who are not so intelligent, witty or knowledgable too.

---

I've said this before - you have as much right to your opinions as anyone else, and you shouldn't be scared off. The main thing is that you can show reasons for your views - at least in Purgatory but similar rules apply across the board. If you're feeling nervous try Heaven or The Circus to try the water as it were. And I'm not particularly knowledgeable I can assure you! and to be honest some of us may seem that way as a result of what we've learned on SOF

 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stephen:
And I'm not particularly knowledgeable I can assure you! and to be honest some of us may seem that way as a result of what we've learned on SOF

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stephen:
And I'm not particularly knowledgeable I can assure you! and to be honest some of us may seem that way as a result of what we've learned on SOF

---

I'm not sure we shouldn't work that up into an ad along the lines of those you used to find at the back of magazines - 'Shy? Tongue-tied? Totally unable to do an off-the-cuff brilliant exegesis of Colossians 2:5 with special reference to Dispensationalism and witty asides about the Patristic Fathers? Read Ship of Fools!' - alongside a black and white drawing of a Bondian figure in a DJ, blonde on arm, Martini in one hand, Cruden's concordance in the other.

---

Like.

▲
 

---

Posted by Candide (# 15755) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stephen:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raptor Eye:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Candide:
Speaking as a frequent lurker, trying to gather the courage to become a frequent poster, then I also rather like this thread.

There are a lot of intelligent, knowledgeable, witty people posting here. That certainly makes it a little bit scary to make a post of your own. Still, having an inclusive sort of atmosphere, like the one demonstrated here, makes it a lot easier.

---

Don't worry Candide, there are plenty of us who are not so intelligent, witty or knowledgable too.

---

I've said this before - you have as much right to your opinions as anyone else, and you shouldn't be scared off. The main thing is that you can show reasons for your views - at least in Purgatory but similar rules apply across the board. If you're feeling nervous try Heaven or The Circus to try the water as it were. And I'm not particularly knowledgeable I can assure you! and to be honest some of us may seem that way as a result of what we've learned on SOF

---

Thanks for that, both of you. The lowest rung of the ladder might not be all that prestigious, but at least I won't be lacking for company.
 

---

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stephen:
And I'm not particularly knowledgeable I can assure you! and to be honest some of us may seem that way as a result of what we've learned on SOF

---

I'm not sure we shouldn't work that up into an ad along the lines of those you used to find at the back of magazines - 'Shy? Tongue-tied? Totally unable to do an off-the-cuff brilliant exegesis of Colossians 2:5 with special reference to Dispensationalism and witty asides about the Patristic Fathers? Read Ship of Fools!' - alongside a black and white drawing of a Bondian figure in a DJ, blonde on arm, Martini in one hand, Cruden's concordance in the other.

---

challenge accepted.

obviously the final would be done by somebody who actually knows what they're doing.
 

---

Posted by Dave Marshall (# 7533) on :
 
Brilliant!
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
Like!


 

---

Posted by Stephen (# 40) on :
 
Excellent, comet...!
 

---

Posted by Ancient Mariner (# 4) on :
 
Rolling on the floor laughing my Arius off.
 

---

Posted by comet (# 10353) on :
 
10 nerd points to House Mariner.
 

---

Posted by Twilight (# 2832) on :
 
I got about a hundred responses to my first post but as my mother used to say, "There's good attention and then there's bad attention."

I always try to give some sort of response when I see a post from a newbie but I never go to the "Welcome," thread. God Bless Welease Woderick and others who keep that up. What bothers me about it is the huge number of people who introduce themselves there, receive a warm welcome from several people and then never post again. Big chickens.

Here's what seems unwelcoming to me: Someone makes his first post on a thread in Heaven or Purgatory and the host responds with some variation of, "Welcome! Please read our FAQ's." Maybe it's just me but I would feel like I had just done something wrong and needed to go back and check each rule to see which one I'd broken.
 

---

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
Twilight:

quote:

---

What bothers me about it is the huge number of people who introduce themselves there, receive a warm welcome from several people and then never post again. Big chickens.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Twilight:
What bothers me about it is the huge number of people who introduce themselves there, receive a warm welcome from several people and then never post again.

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Originally posted by Candide:
Thanks for that, both of you. The lowest rung of the ladder might not be all that prestigious, but at least I won't be lacking for company.

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Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Twilight:

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What bothers me about it is the huge number of people who introduce themselves there, receive a warm welcome from several people and then never post again. Big chickens.

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Ah! The friendliness of the Ship in action!

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originally posted by Oscar the Grouch

It does get easier once you have started dipping your toe in the waters

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Originally posted by Twilight:

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Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Twilight:

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What bothers me about it is the huge number of people who introduce themselves there, receive a warm welcome from several people and then never post again. Big chickens.

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Ah! The friendliness of the Ship in action!

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"Big chicken," is what I think of as gentle, friendly, sibling-like teasing. It would make me more comfortable than the fear of being completely misunderstood and chastised by someone.

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Originally posted by RooK:
You know what would be funny? If I suspended everyone on this thread. No good reason; just funny.

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Originally posted by Stephen:
Well that's what I think Alan. It would have been the easiest thing for Mousethief to click a 'don't like' button. Instead he gave a reason.

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Originally posted by no prophet:
Some people in inherently polite in their posts and some are not. Warm Fuzzies versus Cold Pricklies. When people are new, have little experience and don't know the culture of the Ship, it is perhaps best to pull in the prickles. and Assume Good Faith (AGF) more generally.

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Originally posted by Ariel:
I still don't think validation buttons would add anything worthwhile to a discussion board. It's the equivalent of someone saying something and a bunch of other people sitting round the table going "Yeah" and the conversation grinding to a halt. The Ship is intended primarily for discussion, whereas FB is intended more for short announcements and status updates.

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Originally posted by Amorya:

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Originally posted by Stephen:
Well that's what I think Alan. It would have been the easiest thing for Mousethief to click a 'don't like' button. Instead he gave a reason.

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A 'Don't like' button is a whole different ball game! It doesn't necessarily follow that having a 'like' button means also having a 'don't like'.

I've seen buttons used to good effect in a couple of different ways:

1. For example, on Ars Technica. In this style, there are upvote and downvote buttons (+1 and -1). They're specifically not called like and don't like, because you're meant to vote on how good (relevant, etc) a comment it was, not how much you agreed with it. Ones that get loads of downvotes and no upvotes are hidden (readers can click a small link to view the hidden comment). If it gets a lot of both downvotes and upvotes, it is flagged as "Controversial", which means a big icon appears at the top of the post.

2. For example, on the OmniGroup forums. There's a Like button but no Dislike. Liking a post doesn't do anything except adds to the count of "X people like this" below it. (This is the same as on Facebook.) People with things to say still say them, but people who just want to offer support for someone else's post will Like it instead. That means you get a much higher signal-to-noise ratio in threads.

On a board like the Ship, where there are boards like All Saints as well as ones like Purgatory, it would be hard to set expectations for the upvote/downvote buttons. If they're there, it has to be the poster's choice to use them — so we couldn't have any rules against downvoting someone's "My father is dying" post on the prayer thread, which would seem really insulting.

However, I think having just a "Like" button could work well. Similar to on Facebook, people would end up using it to show support, or to agree, or to complement a good post, and all of those uses would be fine.

Having said all that, this is a big tangent, because I don't think UBB supports them anyway.

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Originally posted by Marvin the Martian:

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Originally posted by no prophet:
Some people in inherently polite in their posts and some are not. Warm Fuzzies versus Cold Pricklies. When people are new, have little experience and don't know the culture of the Ship, it is perhaps best to pull in the prickles. and Assume Good Faith (AGF) more generally.

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That sounds awfully like pretending to be nice in order to draw them in, then revealing our true natures once they're caught. I prefer honesty, warts and all. If someone doesn't like the prickles, they're not going to be any more happy about them if they're encountered after five posts or fifty.

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But what exactly is the context being talked about? If someone is posting that they're new, in a 'welcome newbie' thread, would a grumpy/prickly person going in to be rude to them simply be a case of 'honesty, warts and all'? Surely the purpose of the thread is to welcome - and being prickly doesn't make a person incapable of welcoming someone. In my experience of real life social situations, people generally are politer when they first meet someone, not because they're not being real, but because the person doesn't know them yet, and so doesn't yet know how to read them.
 

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Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on :
 
I quite like the idea of a 'like' button. I don't think it discourages discussion - if people want to discuss and give reasons, they will do so. But a 'like' button would probably encourage more people to join in - people who may not feel they want to say something yet, but who want to express agreement with certain views. That's what I find on FB anyway.

At the moment, if someone really likes a post here on the Ship, they sometimes post a reply quoting it and putting the smilie after it. I've always seen that as a sort of equivalent to a 'like'.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
The Ship isn't a hidden, closed community. Many of those who join the Ship have lurked for some time. Just as some join and never post I'm sure others lurk for many years without joining. The "Apprentice" stage gives newcomers a bit more room for manoever although if they abuse that, others will put them straight.

I don't think anyone who posts on the welcome thread in All Saints is ever ignored.

[ 06. June 2014, 12:33: Message edited by: Sioni Sais ]
 

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Posted by orfeo (# 13878) on :
 

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Originally posted by Fineline:
At the moment, if someone really likes a post here on the Ship, they sometimes post a reply quoting it and putting the smilie after it. I've always seen that as a sort of equivalent to a 'like'.

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Originally posted by orfeo:
I'm not sure FB is a great example, though, because it isn't a message board. It doesn't encourage discussion. It's mostly about friends broadcasting news about themselves.

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Originally posted by rolyn:
I'm not knocking those who do the Ship's welcoming but personally I don't think it makes much difference to the stickability of new contributors .

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