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Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
* 've always wanted to redo the decor in Hell. Red is so not now.

* 'm thinking natural rock in a disappearing puce colour. What else shall we do?

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We're prepared to forego the pitchfork for something more modern.

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Crap spouted by Ariel:
* 've never been to Hull. How much in need of redecorating is it, on a scale of 1-10?

Thanks in advance.

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Crap spouted by jedijudy:
We should probably send a committee. Hull would certainly welcome us. Should we dress alike so as not to be confused with the Denizens?

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Crap spouted by orfeo:

quote:

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Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
* 've always wanted to redo the decor in Hell. Red is so not now.

* 'm thinking natural rock in a disappearing puce colour. What else shall we do?

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If you're working up a banner, it should include a potential weapon of SOME kind. We're prepared to forego the pitchfork for something more modern.

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Crap spouted by Ariston:

quote:

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Crap spouted by jedijudy:
We should probably send a committee. Hull would certainly welcome us. Should we dress alike so as not to be confused with the Denizens?

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And so * know where to aim my flamethrower.

Mmmmm….roast bunny! So tasty!

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Now, now...somebunny wuvs you, Snookums!!
 

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Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 
* swear, reading this thread with the recent typeface change is the visual equivalent of artificial fingernails on a chalkboard.
 

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Posted by BrownOwl135 (# 18054) on :
 
* live in Hull - it has been my adopted home for many years and love it here. Such a shame it has crap city status - and yes, lots of redecorated needed (maybe even demol***ing some areas)
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

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Crap spouted by BrownOwl135:
* live in Hull - it has been my adopted home for many years and love it here. Such a shame it has crap city status - and yes, lots of redecorated needed (maybe even demol***ing some areas)

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TBF, the original thread title referred to Hell. But * changed it (and all the other first page titles) Because * Can (and it's H&A Day).

But OTOH doesn't the old refrain go - From Hull and Hell and Halifax/ Good Lord deliver me?

[ 19. September 2014, 09:08: Message edited by: Firenze ]
 

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Posted by QLib (# 43) on :
 
A white telephone box (on a white background, natch) behind the caretaker-chap with the toasting fork?

P.S. The Halifax was a type of scaffold. Not many people know that (and maybe less care).

[ 19. September 2014, 17:11: Message edited by: QLib ]
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Gosh one learns interesting stuff on this website. Last week it was 'tontine'. This week it's 'halifax'. In my part of the world, a Tontine is a pillow. Always just assumed that was the name of the chap who started the pillow company, but not so.

Hull must therefore have lots of pillows. Far too many for practical usage. Every bed shall have at least 9 on them, to drive the owners crackers when they want to actually lie down.

[ 19. September 2014, 19:41: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
And pebbledash. Remember back in the 70's when every swimming pool was surrounded by pebbled concrete? It was the oouchiest stuff to walk on then, and now it's made a comeback. The concrete shoeboxes seem to love having pebbledash front paths. It's FUGLY, people. And it will crack and look daggy. And it still hurts to walk on it. Hull will therefore have lots of it.
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Candles. Don't get me started on scented candles in bathrooms. Or bedrooms. Or any small space that people live in. Don't fashion designers read the news? Or science reports?
Most of us like candles in worship spaces. But for a brief time, and made of beeswax.

If we were each to post an emoticon in Hell for every story we've heard of a building burning down or someone being badly burned because of a mood candle being left unextingu***ed, then methinks the place would be full of emoticons. Now there's a hellbent thought....

[ 19. September 2014, 21:42: Message edited by: Banner Lady ]
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Another Hellmade must in every house in Hull: air fresheners. You know, the ones advertised that are so all pervasive that you can happily leave all your putrid stuff lying about because all you will smell will be the synthetic ocean breeze. WTF? Just deal with the putrid stuff, you bozos.
 

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Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 

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Crap spouted by Banner Lady:
Candles. Don't get me started on scented candles in bathrooms. Or bedrooms.

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Here in Hell, we have quite a few scented candles. They add such a delightful ambiance when combined with recordings of the screams of the damned in the Lake of Fire. It's also not exactly like we have to worry about things burning down here in the Realm of the Eternal Fire of God's Holy Wrath—pretty much everything left is fireproof anyway at this point.

Of course, beeswax isn't our thing—more rendered tallow harvested from putrefying corpses—and brimstone's our preferred scent, though hot pitch will do when you *have* to have some variety. Gardenia doesn't go so well with tortured screaming, you see.

(ETA: the Comic Sans just makes the above That Much Better)

[ 19. September 2014, 22:51: Message edited by: Ariston ]
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Hull must have plenty of hot liquids. Being in ***land, this must obviously be tea. This sort of tea.

Really folks, you should buy Australian organic teas. You know they are good when you drive past the tea fields in North Queensland and they are covered with big blue Ulysses butterflies. The insects know what's sweet. Taste the difference, and leave the Chinese green tea in Hull.
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
What else should the houses in Hull have? Enormously heavy vacuum cleaners with a bucket full of attachments that are never used. Hats off to whoever invented the "turbo-head". You know, that stupidly expensive extra you paid for to get rid of all the pet hair, and that packed it in one day after the warranty expired.

And they shall all have cords that are too short to do anything other than one room at a time. Every cupboard in the house will be just that little bit too small to accommodate this state-of-the-art beast, so you have to leave it in the garage and trek out to get it and haul it up to the house when needed. The perfect appliance for Hell.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Or if you do get a small mobile one it does approximately 3 sq ft of carpet before it develops a temperature and has to lie down quietly for a day or so plus have all its filters bathed in Perrier water before it can even think of tackling so much as another cobweb.
 

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Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
I think the moral of this thread is that you cud find anething in Hull, as ane fule kno.
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
This is true. Even Banner Lady. Must be the most time I've spent in Hell ever since joining SoF, and have survived redecorating it without having an argument with anyone. Miracle? I think so. Thanks to all the hosts for the entertaining switcheroos.
 

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