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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: To Go or Not to Go . . .
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
. . .that is the question which crops up stateside about class reunions. (I've no idea whether high school or college reunions even occur elsewhere; if they do, by all means chime in.
So: what would motivate you to revisit your high school classmates umpty-leven years after graduating? Or, what would definitely keep you from darkening any such doors?
Last spring, I opted out of a BIG (in terms of years) reunion (no, never mind which one) because frankly, none of the people I used to be tight with seemed to be involved, or so I told myself. Wait for it . . .
The real reason is that everybody seemed to think back then that Great Things would be forthcoming from me, and that has definitely not happened. I'm ordinary and chicken and embarrassed to go.
You?
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Horseman Bree
Shipmate
# 5290
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Posted
I have successfully avoided the reunions of my high school class for over 50 years. They seem to involve doing stuff (like playing golf) which I basically detest; the organisers always want to make sure you donate to the school building fund; and none of us have ever got together for any reason since that day in 1961.
My wife, OTOH, has been involved in two reunions, the 20-year and the 50-year. She comes from a small enough community that the social net is quite different from my oh-so-nice suburban heaven, and many of the class have kept in some sort of touch anyway, so there is a dynamic that I have missed.
Plus, of course, I have taught the children and even grandchildren of several of her classmates, which adds a different level of interest.
[ 28. October 2014, 20:02: Message edited by: Horseman Bree ]
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It's Not That Simple
Posts: 5372 | From: more herring choker than bluenose | Registered: Dec 2003
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
We had our big high school reunion this year, my response was similar to Horseman Bree's.
I've been to a couple in the past, and have always felt it awkward trying to reconnect after so many years, especially as I'm a bit shy and introverted and wasn't exactly the center of the social sphere all those years ago. A couple of times I've managed to connect with some of my closer friends from those bygone days and had a good time, other times I spent making awkward and uncomfortable chit-chat. So for me it's a bit of a gamble-- might have a great time, might be bored/uncomfortable for a few hours.
The decisive factor for me, as with Horseman Bree, is the venue-- and for me, the cost. Our organizers always plan a fancy meal at a hotel-- so iow, lousy food at an elevated price. Ours were $48 per person, and I knew if I did go I'd want my more-social hubby to come along so I'd have someone to help grease the social wheels a bit. $96 was a bit much for me to spend on such a high-risk event.
Our organizers did plan an "icebreaker" the night before at a local bar. I did go to that since the cost was so minimal-- the price of drinks basically, so not out much. It turned out to be just as awkward as I'd feared, so we left early. otoh, most of the alumni didn't go to the icebreaker so it's possible I would have still had fun if I'd shelled out for the big main event. But all in all, I'm not really sorry I gave it a pass.
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Palimpsest
Shipmate
# 16772
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Posted
I've been to my High School 20th and 40th reunions. The 20th was interesting in that the people who had gone straight into professional life were sometimes switching to second careers like woodworking and the ones who had become tennis players and musicians were moving into second careers in real estate or finance. The interesting couple was the guy who had become a heart surgeon and married a pastry chef.
The 40th reunion was interesting for several reasons. The people organizing it had a phone meeting to solicit people and had such a good time that they kept having meetings, so we got 70% of the class which is high turnout.
Our class had a special interesting session with some historians because ours was the only high school of the sixties where the Blacks took over the administration building. The actions held up and there were stories that filled things in.
It was fun being one of the two shortest kids who both spent some time getting taller after High School. Despite being a very liberal caring school, the funny thing was how many people said they had felt isolated and unpopular in High School. When the captain of the football team says "Of course, I wasn't one of the popular kids since I wasn't very smart in class" along with all the smart kids expressing nurd unpopularity and various geographic senses you begin to realize the lack of self esteem was not a social pressure but teen angst. It's a valuable thing to ponder on.
That said, I just got a notice the 45th reunion is in June this year. I think I'll wait till the 50th.
Posts: 2990 | From: Seattle WA. US | Registered: Nov 2011
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Well, practical embarrassment. I've gotten fat.
Leaving that admission aside, then...
There's the fact that the only people who seem to turn up to mine are the used-to-be popular kids who snubbed me soundly when I was in high school. They seemed to be in hair dressing and the like, and mostly hadn't gone to college I think. The most outwardly successful of those attending were the former nerds and outsiders (now ophthalmologists etc.)
I'm happy on the whole with how my life has turned out, but I cringed when the popular kids came up to me at the last reunion and said nice, would-be-friendly-and-complimentary things, and it just felt so wrong. Like, "Why can't you be nasty to me, so I feel like I recognize you and we both know where we stand?"
I didn't go back for the twentieth.
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
I went to my 30-year high school reunion a few years ago, because my closest friend from high school was going. I had to face what Porridge avoided by not going -- people were very taken aback to learn I am a church secretary. But I took so much crap from people when I quit/got kicked out of my English professor job some years ago that it's become pretty easy to take a "yeah, this is what I do, what's it to ya" attitude.
One very weird thing happened -- a woman came up to me and apologized for kneeing me in the stomach in the tenth grade. I had suppressed the memory of what was a random assault until she reminded me of it, and it was staggering to have all the fear and bewilderment I'd felt then and forgotten come up in the middle of this party. She was working her steps, and I ended up tossing back a stiff drink in reaction.
I'm not sorry I went, but I doubt I'll be back for the 35th.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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daisydaisy
Shipmate
# 12167
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Posted
I have absolutely no intention of going to any reunion. I am still in touch with some contemporaries, which is enough. For one thing, they'll all look so much older than I feel.
Posts: 3184 | From: southern uk | Registered: Dec 2006
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Sandemaniac
Shipmate
# 12829
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Posted
I went to two schools, one of which has a formal old scholars organisation (for which I pay the subs mostly to see which interesting people suddenly and unexpectedly turn up in the obits column of the yearly blurb), and one which has a Facebook group and occasionally gets together in pubs for the purpose of getting pissed.
I am in touch with no-one from the first school, lots of people from the other. Mind you, this might be because I was parachuted into the first, lost and unprepared, for the sixth form, having spent six very happy years surrounded by crazy people at the other.
AG
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"It becomes soon pleasantly apparent that change-ringing is by no means merely an excuse for beer" Charles Dickens gets it wrong, 1869
Posts: 3574 | From: The wardrobe of my soul | Registered: Jul 2007
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I went to a reunion once, but I didn't really see the point. What you do is ask everyone "So, what are you doing nowadays?" and then conversation is pretty much over. You don't really have much in common anymore. I went home early.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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daisydaisy
Shipmate
# 12167
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
..... What you do is ask everyone "So, what are you doing nowadays?" and then conversation is pretty much over.
That might be interesting - when I looked at Friends Reunited my contemporaries said nothing about what they were doing, just what their husband, children, dogs, hamsters were doing. Such a shame.
Posts: 3184 | From: southern uk | Registered: Dec 2006
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Twilight
Puddleglum's sister
# 2832
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Posted
Graduated in 1964. My five year reunion was fascinating because it was clear which ones of us had turned into long haired hippies and which ones retained the clean cut look of our preppie school days. In general, the more education the longer the hair. Our looks had solidified so that you could see who had turned out really good looking or tall or stylish. In some cases we had obviously been misled in high school by nice clothes and sporting skills.
The twenty year reunion had a sort of desperate vibe. People were divorced and looking for new romances. Some had gained weight and seemed self-conscious about it, some had maintained their high-school weight and their faces were showing the strain. Some seemed disappointed or slightly ashamed that they hadn't achieved more brilliant careers.
By the 30 to 40 year reunions we had all quit trying so hard and began to just enjoy catching up and sharing memories. No one ever remembers the things I remember. I read novels and day dreamed through most of those years and just have short periods of clarity.
We just had our fiftieth. We no longer care what we look like or what anyone is doing. We're all just happy to be alive and sorry about the ones who aren't.
Posts: 6817 | Registered: May 2002
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BessLane
Shipmate
# 15176
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Posted
I haven't been to a reunion yet, although my 30th is coming up in a couple of years and I might attend depending on what time of year it is. The folks who usually organize our class reunions seem to think that Thanksgiving weekend is the ideal time ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
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It's all on me and I won't tell it.
formerly BessHiggs
Posts: 1388 | From: Yorkville, TN | Registered: Sep 2009
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
I went to my year's 40th reunion.
It was a chance to see how the school has developed since I left and also to meet up with people who, while not bosom buddies, had been relatively close during my teenage years.
The latest head was keen to hear about our experiences - and less than keen to learn that the head during our time was someone remembered by all with loathing and, in some cases, outright hostility.
I was quite chuffed to see that I didn't look the most decrepit!
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
I went to an Old Boys Dinner once when I was in my 20s and have never been back. The whole thing was quite ghastly and those who attended were just plain ghastly.
The thought sends shivers down my spine!
Now, if I turned up as Sister Incubus Nightmare it might be fun!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
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What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
I hated my school and would never consider going to a reunion there, even if they had my current address and sent me an invitation (which they don't).
OTOH I also skipped my university reunions and I really enjoyed my time at university. I've moved on and the only people I'd want to see again are those I kept in touch with anyway, so what's the point?
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
As far as I know, the only reunion my class had was the tenth, which I did not attend. (Yes, it's very possible that they don't have a clue where I am!) ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
If there was a fortieth a few years ago, I wouldn't have gone, anyway. My BFF went to her fortieth, as it was actually in the same state where we both live. She was amazed to see that her classmates were replaced by their parents. ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
My baby has been invited to her tenth reunion next month. Ten? Really? She said she's not going.
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
Class reunions became popular in Orkney after the launch of Friends Reunited, and our class had one in 2002, when we were 40. I arranged my holidays to attend, and was very glad I did: I thoroughly enjoyed it (as did D., who had no personal connection with the school except for teaching there one class a week for a year or two). It was very gratifying to note that no-one actually needed to look at my name-badge - they all said "hello Piglet, you haven't changed a bit!"
I remember people saying that one of our classmates (now deceased) wouldn't attend the reunion because it was being organised by someone he didn't like. What a pillock.
There was talk of having another one when we turned 50, but nothing came of it. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
Two things surprised me about the run-up emails to the latest reunion organized at my high school:
The number of people (mostly organizers of said reunion) who remained in place, in that town, all these years, and married classmates. It wasn't a terribly large class -- maybe 250 or so, but I'm hazy on that -- but a fair number (as someone mentioned above, the hairdressers and auto repair folks, etc.) stayed put after graduation. As one of the college-bound, my impression at the time was that Everyone Was Headed Elsewhere.
The other thing that surprised me was the number of classmates who have died, including a woman who was in Deutsche Verein (German Club) with me. Mind you, this is a cohort which, while in mid-life, won't start retiring for at least a decade and probably more yet.
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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leo
Shipmate
# 1458
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Posted
As a retired teacher, I go to quite a few reunions of my former tutor groups.
I find it interesting to see how people turned out (though I am still in touch with many so already know).
However, I notice that many stay in the cliques they established when they were pupils and the really shy ones drink a lot to give them Dutch courage.
What with Facebook and Schools Reunited, maybe it would be better to be in touch online and to arrange to meet only those one wants to meet.
Posts: 23198 | From: Bristol | Registered: Oct 2001
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cliffdweller
Shipmate
# 13338
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by leo:
As a retired teacher, I go to quite a few reunions of my former tutor groups.
I find it interesting to see how people turned out (though I am still in touch with many so already know).
However, I notice that many stay in the cliques they established when they were pupils and the really shy ones drink a lot to give them Dutch courage.
What with Facebook and Schools Reunited, maybe it would be better to be in touch online and to arrange to meet only those one wants to meet.
Agreed.
Interestingly, in recent years I've reconnected with a few old classmates through facebook, including some among the popular crowd that I was never a part of back in the day. We've found we had a good deal in common, and seemed to become close, if virtual, friends. But at our recent reunion (or rather the icebreaker I attended), after a brief cursory greeting, those popular-crowd now-facebook friends gravitated right back to those same high-school cliques. There does seem to be something about the reunion dynamic that just makes that happen, eh? So again, for my book, not worth any great investment of time or money. If you've got a cheap convenient meet-up option available, fine. But not worth wasting precious travel or vacation time on.
[ 29. October 2014, 14:35: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]
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"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." -Frederick Buechner
Posts: 11242 | From: a small canyon overlooking the city | Registered: Jan 2008
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Porridge
Shipmate
# 15405
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
One very weird thing happened -- a woman came up to me and apologized for kneeing me in the stomach in the tenth grade. I had suppressed the memory of what was a random assault until she reminded me of it, and it was staggering to have all the fear and bewilderment I'd felt then and forgotten come up in the middle of this party. She was working her steps, and I ended up tossing back a stiff drink in reaction.
I'm not sorry I went, but I doubt I'll be back for the 35th.
I've been thinking about this ever since RuthW posted it.
Until now, I've been naively sauntering along on the assumption that those who had a fine time in high school (apparently not that many people) would be the ones who attended reunions, and that people who liken high school to getting dragged through a knothole backwards would be the ones who stayed away.
Ruth reminds us of the folks who have some other agenda -- but it sounds, from Ruth's reaction, as though this is not always a particularly happy experience for those on the receiving end. Is it almost as bad to have someone "work their steps" with you as the original assault seems to have been?
As one who felt distinctly on the "outs" in high school (and we have folks on board Ship who bring the "clique" issue up every now and then here), I wonder at the extent to which high school experiences shape our adult reactions to socializing. Or, perhaps, to random assaults.
Gah. What an experience, Ruth. Does either one of you, at this point, have any idea why that happened?
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Spiggott: Everything I've ever told you is a lie, including that.
Moon: Including what?
Spiggott: That everything I've ever told you is a lie.
Moon: That's not true!
Posts: 3925 | From: Upper right corner | Registered: Jan 2010
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Jane R
Shipmate
# 331
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Posted
piglet: quote:
I remember people saying that one of our classmates (now deceased) wouldn't attend the reunion because it was being organised by someone he didn't like. What a pillock.
If he was bullied by the reunion organiser when they were at school, I can understand why he didn't want to go.
[ 29. October 2014, 15:04: Message edited by: Jane R ]
Posts: 3958 | From: Jorvik | Registered: May 2001
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Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
piglet: quote:
I remember people saying that one of our classmates (now deceased) wouldn't attend the reunion because it was being organised by someone he didn't like. What a pillock.
If he was bullied by the reunion organiser when they were at school, I can understand why he didn't want to go.
Exactly. I'd not go to one; no desire ever to meet the bunch of obnoxious superior twats who made up the lion's share of the people I went to school with.
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Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
If you've got a cheap convenient meet-up option available, fine. But not worth wasting precious travel or vacation time on.
I agree with this. I've been to two school reunions and they were interesting in their way, and I am very loosely back in touch with one girl on Facebook, but in terms of making important reconnections I wouldn't rate them highly. It shouldn't be that way but I did feel very on show about whether I had aged well, put on weight, done worthy things with my life. And I met up with someone who I knew had never liked me at school and got the distinct impression that she still didn't.
One word of advice - I personally wouldn't take my partner along. Dreadfully boring listening to reminiscences of things you weren't part of. ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif)
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
I went to my tenth (over 30 years ago), while I still lived within easy driving distance. It was o.k., but the people I would like to have seen mostly weren't there. Now I live across the country from where I went to high school. It just isn't worth the airfare, ground transportation, hotel, etc., to go to a reunion of the people I didn't hang out with. The same ones who planned the school dances and other social events are the ones who now plan the reunions*. Most of my friends weren't part of that group, and don't attend the reunions now.
(*If they didn't, I guess no one would, so I can't complain.)
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
We're still involved with friends from University and meet regularly - in fact we are going to a reunion on Saturday. It all started when one of the group started organising canal holidays, many years ago, and invited his friends. It's not an official reunion though. One nice thing is that the group's children have become friends.
There have been official and unofficial reunions of some of my school contemporaies, but so far I've had good excuses not to go.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Horseman Bree
Shipmate
# 5290
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:
things surprised me about the run-up emails to the latest reunion organized at my high school:
The other thing that surprised me was the number of classmates who have died, including a woman who was in Deutsche Verein (German Club) with me. Mind you, this is a cohort which, while in mid-life, won't start retiring for at least a decade and probably more yet.
I taught for 30 years, and still volunteer in, a small high school, grad classes of about 50, small enough that one knows most of the faces and names. So I've had significant contacts since the various graduations.
In that time, it has been fairly consistent that about 2% of each class die in the first few years (car accidents, suicides, diseases, congenital problems...) and an occasional death occurs in the mid-life. I'm up to 65 deceased* that I know of, from an overall 2500 or so. Just about every class has lost at least one, with a few being more unfortunate.
*Like my father and my grandfather, I have known soldiers who died as a result of their service, fortunately only one suicide and one skin cancer, both from Afghanistan. Does make Nov. 11 more significant, esp. where I know both sets of parents and siblings.
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It's Not That Simple
Posts: 5372 | From: more herring choker than bluenose | Registered: Dec 2003
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
We had a 20th and 40th. I went to the 20th primarily out of curiosity, and to the 40th primarily out of nostalgia.
I'd say I enjoyed the 40th more. The highlight of the weekend was a tour of the old school. It was nostalgia heaven! I half expected to see the ghosts of all our old teachers (all of them now dead) rise up from behind their desks.
A 50th is planned, and I'll be there, God willing.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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no prophet's flag is set so...
Proceed to see sea
# 15560
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Posted
Reunions. The once popular, athletic men are bald and fat, and the once popular cute girls are married to them and not so cute any more (the men aren't either), and they all complain about their lives. The really nerdy people are still really nerdy and odd. While the large mass of typical, everyday people in between the extremes are doing great.
You just have to figure out who is going, and plan your excuse to leave early if it shapes up wrong.
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Out of this nettle, danger, we pluck this flower, safety.
\_(ツ)_/
Posts: 11498 | From: Treaty 6 territory in the nonexistant Province of Buffalo, Canada ↄ⃝' | Registered: Mar 2010
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
I haven't been to any of mine - partly because I suspect that most of those who were my friends in school aren't likely to go either, and that those who would go would be the "cool kids". and partly because I'm on the wrong continent.
I'd quite like to meet up with some of my old teachers before they all die, though - almost everyone that taught me is now retired, and some are dead.
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Porridge:
Gah. What an experience, Ruth. Does either one of you, at this point, have any idea why that happened?
She told me she was trying to look tough in front of her buddies from the theater club.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
We had a reunion the year we all turned 30, which was fun. We had a second the year we all turned 40, which was quite different. Both reunions were "former pupils only - no partners." The women who turned up to the second all seemed happy. The men who turned up, by contrast, seemed to be mostly divorced / balding / paunchy, and hoping for a knee-trembler behind the bike sheds. The happily-partnered men, and the dissatified-with- life women had stayed away. It ended up with the women clustered at one end of the room, telling each other that they looked great, and passing round photos of their children/ grandchildren ( ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) ) / pets / holidays , while the men clustered gloomily at the other end, drinking. It was very odd.
I think there might have been another reunion this year, the year we all turned 50, but I made no effort to find out about it.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
I've never been to any and don't even know if they happened; I have no contact with anyone from my school and would be difficult to trace. I had a miserable time there and was bullied mercilessly, as I was poor, tiny in stature and very shy. I would have absolutely nothing in common with anyone, most of whom would have never left the estate we lived on. I managed to escape my miserable background and have successful life and career, got myself higher education etc. I am now much more confident and self assured and would have no problem mixing with them but it would seem a pointless exercise.
The only person I would like to see was my best friend who left and moved north after school - she's traceable online and I might drop her an email. There's no way she'd head back to a reunion either.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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The5thMary
Shipmate
# 12953
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Posted
I went to a very small high school in Radford, VA...actually, the ONLY high school in Radford, VA and graduated in 1985. I was very unpopular in school and bullied a lot. I did have a few friends, mostly artistic/musically inclined (Gay!) like myself but I can count those friends on one hand. I legally changed my entire name in 1991, so there's no possibility of any of the class reunion organizers to reach me and that's fine by me. What's interesting is that I did re-connect with two friends from the artistic/musically inclined set and neither experience went well. They had both been pretty arrogant whilst we attended school together but the ensuing years had only added to their obnoxiousness and I finally had to 'unfriend' one from Facebook and send the other one an email explaining why I never wanted to speak to her again. So, I can't say that a class reunion has any sway over me. The only interesting thing I've noticed, over the years and by studying various classmates' Facebook pages and friends lists is just how many people in my graduating class alone have come out as Gay! And the lower grades have a lot, too, much more than I would have thought possible. Maybe it's the water supply in Southwest Virginia? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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God gave me my face but She let me pick my nose.
Posts: 3451 | From: Tacoma, WA USA | Registered: Aug 2007
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jane R:
piglet: quote:
I remember people saying that one of our classmates (now deceased) wouldn't attend the reunion because it was being organised by someone he didn't like. What a pillock.
If he was bullied by the reunion organiser when they were at school, I can understand why he didn't want to go.
I don't think he was - he just didn't like her.
Having said that I can understand why someone who was bullied wouldn't want to - perhaps I was just lucky that I rather enjoyed my schooldays.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Heavenly Anarchist
Shipmate
# 13313
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Posted
I've just be thinking about the council estate I was brought up on and remembered that one of my friends became a prostitute at 16 (parents threw her out, my sister's best friend put her up and found her a factory job but she was too unruly to control and ran off). A quick google tells me she's still getting around town (quite literally) and picking up police charges. I wonder if she turns up to these events, it would certainly liven up the career discussions. I'm presuming she's not the only one either.
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'I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.' Douglas Adams
Dog Activity Monitor
My shop
Posts: 2831 | From: Trumpington | Registered: Jan 2008
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
I went to a college reunion some years ago when it was newly relaunched. Only two other people from my era turned up - the rest were all from much later - and one of the academics I used to know. I guess everyone else had moved on, and the college thing meant a lot less than it used to.
I remember that evening as being golden and very happy. It was nice to catch up, but I didn't go again; nobody else from my time had put their name down for next year.
I've never been to any of the school reunions, and never wanted to, though by an odd coincidence two of the people I used to be best friends with at school have moved to somewhere north of me, so a meet-up in Birmingham at some point looks likely.
When you first meet people you haven't seen for 20-30 years there is always that glow of nostalgia. Then that wears off and you start to realize how the other person has changed, and that there are decades of their lives you know nothing about. Sometimes you can still be friends, but more often than not you find you've gone separate ways. A lot of these school and university - and for that matter, work - relationships tend to be context-dependent and not that many survive outside it.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
I went to my high school reunion twelve years ago and it was great, stretched out over two evenings: an informal gathering where we took over a Mexican restaurant in Pasadena on Friday night, then a dinner dance at a country club in Altadena on the second. Even though I had moved quite a few miles away I was happy to be involved in the planning and I attended at least two of the meetings for the 30th. It was fun to see some of my old football buddies and also to see that the publisher of the underground newspaper at school had grown up to be a well-respected Catholic obstetrician. My valedictorian was a cardiologist.
The 40th reunion two years ago was not planned by anyone I knew AND it had degenerated into an all-classes reunion on the practice field with a "roach coach" serving barbecue.
What was more successful was a party with four rock bands on 'Suicide Bridge,' a local landmark near my old house. I saw a few people from high school and also former neighbors that I hadn't seen in forty years!
My wife's 40-year reunion is far more ambitious than my 40th was and had to be put off until the 41st year. She was not involved in planning her 30th but it was a nice dinner-dance at a local hotel...
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As I went to four different universities and my old fraternity was kicked off campus at San Diego State where I finished my studies, a college reunion would be a non-starter!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe:
... The highlight of the weekend was a tour of the old school ...
That's not going to happen at any future reunions we might have - the school building (which was opened when I was in 2nd year - I played in the orchestra at the official opening) was replaced earlier this year and the building I attended has gone, without a trace.
Piglet, feeling really old and a little bit sad. ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) ![[Tear]](graemlins/tear.gif)
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
That's not going to happen at any future reunions we might have - the school building (which was opened when I was in 2nd year - I played in the orchestra at the official opening) was replaced earlier this year and the building I attended has gone, without a trace.
Piglet, feeling really old and a little bit sad.
My high school is long-gone as well, having been built in 1901. The school merged into a regional high school, so even the name has changed.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:
... the building I attended has gone, without a trace.
Yes, they demolished most of the rooms I was in after I left. I'm trying not to take it personally.
The smart new rebuilt buildings are, of course, ones that I didn't live in, don't know and have no sentimental attachment to or memories of. I find it harder to summon up that "alumni" feeling now when I look at the place as it now is. Half the time it looks and feels like somewhere else that I've never had a connection with. The lack of familiar faces doesn't help to dispel that, either.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Uncle Pete
Loyaute me lie
# 10422
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Posted
One of my brothers organised a High School reunion for the school's fiftieth anniversary in 2005. He made sure we all knew. One of my brothers did go, but that was basically because he had a lot of connections with the town over the years. The brother who organised was a class clown who dropped out in the middle of Grade 11. If I had gone it would have been to spit in the face of the Maths teacher who was also a 'Guidance Counseller" who saw nothing but clerking in my future. I wasn't one of his favourites. A graduate degree and a respected profession later, I should have felt confident enough to go, but all I could remember was the bullying and the social shunning that happened.
It wasn't worth the money or time and I am glad I didn't go.
I went to a Town reunion a few years back; I made darn sure that it was NOT going to be a high-school reunion. That was marginally more fun, and if I were asked I would probably go to another one in a few years.
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Even more so than I was before
Posts: 20466 | From: No longer where I was | Registered: Sep 2005
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Melisande
Shipmate
# 4177
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Posted
I just didn't go to my high school class 25th reunion. I had been dithering, but was relieved of the choice by having to schedule outpatient surgery for the day before.
I wanted to go because it seemed like one of those Things that should be Done sometime, because I hoped there would be adored teachers in attendance, and because I wanted to stand up and be counted. If I had friends there, I would have enjoyed standing on the sidelines and snarking, just like in the old days.
I didn't want to go because I felt like I would have to spend the evening abjectly apologizing to said teachers for wasting their time on me when I am not now a professor, author, or much of anything with a wider impact on the world; because I've gained weight; because while I was very happy with my actual friends, they were quite a small percentage of the class (and I didn't know if they'd be there, because we're only very loosely in touch); and because since my mother now lives with us I have no home base in my old town.
I live fairly close to my undergraduate college, and tend to go back for Alumni Weekend every year for the parallel gathering of my primary friend group, which has almost no overlap with my class year. I miss the idea of a magical return to somewhere that I lose with being so close by, but it's also much easier this way.
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The door itself makes no promises.
It is only a door.
-- Adrienne Rich
Posts: 302 | From: The western Main Line | Registered: Feb 2003
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georgiaboy
Shipmate
# 11294
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Posted
My high school was in a very small town in KY -- 41 in my senior class. I left for college and never really went back.
For the 10th reunion then didn't locate me.
For the 20th I regretted.
Don't think there was a 30th or 40th.
For some reason there was a 45th. I was vacationing in a nearby city, and couldn't really think of any reason not to go.
It was a dinner at a restaurant in the next town over -- my home town wasn't even big enough to have a suitable gathering place.
I was amazed and depressed by the event. Everyone was polite and 'charming,' but I had not a thing in common with any of them. Those that had gone to college (mostly state university) had come right back home.
I had gone off to a distant university and stayed there for quite a few years, and then took a city job. So less and less common interests.
I stayed long enough to be polite and then scrammed.
When the invitation for the 50th arrived, I was snarky enough to regret 'as I will be crossing the Atlantic on Queen Mary II.' (which was the truth)
Haven't heard from them since. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
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You can't retire from a calling.
Posts: 1675 | From: saint meinrad, IN | Registered: Apr 2006
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
I just found out that my high school had a reunion last September. I'm not sad that I missed it.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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