Ship of Fools: Longing to pray

Thread: Longing to pray Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Erroneous Monk (# 10858) on :

Is anticipating prayer - wanting, wishing, longing, planning to pray - an act of prayer in itself?

I am thinking of two kinds of anticipation/longing:

(1) The frequent experience when I'm busy with something - work, chores - and I'm thinking of how I will "reward" myself at the end. Now, sometimes I might think "When I get this done, I'll have a G&T." But not uncommonly, I find myself thinking "When I get through this, I'll pray." But I've noticed that the very process of thinking of prayer - of connecting with God, of emptying myself out, and the possibility of being refilled - is spiritually soothing. I feel comforted and sustained. I feel hopeful, even if nothing has, in fact changed.

(2) Less often, but still regularly, I have times when I feel that I can't pray - I can't make the connection/allow the connection to be made to me, I can't empty out my depression or grief or shame or loneliness, and therefore there is no possibility of being refilled. At these times, I may end up consciously thinking "I want to pray. I want to pray", as a kind of mental mantra.

Are both or either of these experiences forms of prayer? Or ways of avoiding it?

Posted by Bostonman (# 17108) on :

The yearning for God is a sign of the presence of God, I've always thought. We can't stir ourselves up into "prayerful" or "spiritual" emotional states all the time, but we can faithfully remember, recognize, and ask for union with God.

I share both of your experiences; the experience of being spiritually comforted simply by thinking of prayer, and the experience of attempting to pray in the midst of spiritual desolation. There's nothing we can do to force ourselves to feel good in the latter, or bad in the former. What a gift, in the one case, and what a sorrow, in the other!

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I would say yes. We can often be praying without even realizing it.

There is a beautiful Dutch song about someone who goes into a church (where no service is on at the time). He says something like "I'm here because of the music. I'm not religious, I hope You don't mind that I'm not praying. It's just that I had a shitty day; I'm here because of the music. You know what, it almost got me into a prayer."

The song can be found here. The trumpet gets to me every time.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Erroneous Monk:
Is anticipating prayer - wanting, wishing, longing, planning to pray - an act of prayer in itself?

I hope so, because there have been times when the desire to pray, rather than actually praying, are all I have had.

Posted by Erroneous Monk (# 10858) on :

Thanks for the responses. But is it ever meaningful then, to say, with reference to prayer, that we should "stop thinking about it and start doing it"?

Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :

I think I would say that in not being able to pray but really wanting to, we are certainly 'doing it'. The opposite of 'doing it' is indifference - whereas you have described wanting it, but finding it next to impossible. This is ninja prayer, not un-prayer...

Posted by Fineline (# 12143) on :

I find there are different types of 'wanting to pray'.

You can be really wanting to pray, and trying but not being able to find the words, and sitting before God in silence and tears and telling im you don't know how to pray - to me, that is still prayer.

Or you can be wanting to pray in that you think you really should sometime, because you know it's important, but there are so many other things going on in your life that you keep putting it off. I don't really see that so much as prayer, and in that case, I would think it important to work out a way to prioritise prayer, rather than just thinking 'Oh, I must get round to praying sometime'. But I think the act of asking God to help you prioritise prayer and organise your time counts as prayer. I've been in that situation quite a bit - I find I need to get to the point where I ask God to help me with organisation and focus and prioritisation, because those can be a difficult for me, and I need God's help with them.

Posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard (# 368) on :

Isaiah 26:9 My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. ...

Romans 8:26 ... the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

Psalm 42: 1 ... As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.

feel like prayer to me. [Votive]

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

It is hard to tell exactly what you mean by these verses with little explanation, Martin, but to me these verses talk about the times when we feel we aught to pray to God but feel we cannot. God seems distant and we are longing for the intimacy we once had but we do not feel we can speak to God right now.

It does not matter if we feel cut off because we have done something that makes us feel cut off or if we are going through a dark night of the soul experience, sometimes it is hard to just get on with praying.

Personally this is where meditative discipline comes in. Others may have different coping mechanisms.

I hope I have understood right.

Posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard (# 368) on :

Our yearning is prayer, praise, worship.

Posted by fullgospel (# 18233) on :

I found Martin's Bible verses very good to see.

I often mark or underline verses that stand out when reading, with a pencil.

Funnily, this morning, I was thinking it would be good to have a ship thread in which people can simply share short Bible verses.

Not sure if that kind of thread would be acceptable, aboard, or even on which of the several 'boards'.

I have enjoyed the other comments too. Very thought provoking.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by fullgospel:
Funnily, this morning, I was thinking it would be good to have a ship thread in which people can simply share short Bible verses.

Not sure if that kind of thread would be acceptable, aboard, or even on which of the several 'boards'.

Kerygmania or Heaven are the boards that spring to mind. If you are not sure if you can start a thread on a board drop one of the hosts a PM. You'll find their name on the Kerygmania or Heaven home pages.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Martin PC not & Ship's Biohazard:
Our yearning is prayer, praise, worship.

Indeed, according to Primary Speech: A Psychology of Prayer — A. & B. Ulanov

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