Ship of Fools: Christmas cracker jokes

Thread: Christmas cracker jokes Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Chamois (# 16204) on :

We have had some good cracker jokes in the Chamoisian household this Christmas. Our favourite so far:

Q: How do you make gold soup?
A: Put in 24 carrots.

Any specially good (or specially dreadful) cracker jokes other shipmates would like to share?

Posted by Al Eluia (# 864) on :

Since I live in the US I only know one from a "Vicar of Dibley" episode:

Q. What do you do with a spaceman?
A. Park in it, man.

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

The one I got from our office Christmas lunch this year is:

Q. "Why did the elf make his bed in the fireplace?"
A. "Because he wanted to sleep like a log."

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

Q: what did backwards Santa say?

A: oh, oh, oh!

Posted by marzipan (# 9442) on :

We had some pretty bad ones at our office Christmas meal, one I had to explain to my Spanish colleague was:
There's been reports of a big hole in the ground. Local police are looking into it.

Posted by tessaB (# 8533) on :

Q. What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A. A wonkey!

Posted by Morgan (# 15372) on :

Q. What did the policeman say to his tummy?
A. You're under a vest!

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

They pulled some crackers on one or two of the BBC Radio 4 programmes I was listening to, and a few of the jokes were the same as we had in ours!

Thankfully, much groaning was had cracker-jokes-wise where I was - which I always rather enjoy as a group bonding experience. [Biased]

One of those I care to remember:

- What do ghosts wear when it rains?
- Kaghouls.

Posted by Porridge (# 15405) on :

Must a Brits-only joke. Makes no sense to me.

Posted by Mili (# 3254) on :

The joke in mine this year wasn't too bad:

Q. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?*

A. In case he got a hole in one.

*I think they meant trousers not underpants though I suppose that could work too.

Posted by Kittyville (# 16106) on :

Kagoul

Porridge, if you've missed out on the kagoul experience, I envy you.

Posted by Mili (# 3254) on :

I was confused there for a minute wondering why ghosts would wear porridge. Obviously I'm a bit tired after the Christmas celebrations.

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

Wait - I've got another one, which I think is a classic:

Q: What is a ghost's favourite food?

A: Ghoulash.

[Big Grin]

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

A question quite appropriate for most people I know

What do you give to a man who has everything?

Antibiotics

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

The title of this thread calls to mind a thoroughly American comment making the rounds: Don't call us crackers! We're Saltine-Americans!

Posted by jrw (# 18045) on :

Q: What football team did the baby Jesus support?

A: Manger-ster United.

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

Q. Why did the graduate student cross the road?
A. Because she was researching a dissertation on chickens.

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

Q. How did King Wenceslaus like his pizza?
A. Deep pan, crisp and even.

Posted by Adam. (# 4991) on :

Did you know that 30% of car accidents in Sweden involve a moose? I say don't let them drive.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

There was an erudite one reported in my paper from a pack of crackers reviewed by comedians.

Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?

To get to the same side.

Despite being fully stocked with crackers for the next few years, I was sorely tempted to buy the expensive lot to find out the rest of the jokes.

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