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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Prayer requests in hall
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Ferijen
Shipmate
# 4719
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Posted
Seeing as Hell has been renamed, * thought we should have some prayer requests.
* just really really just want to offer really important things like, y'know, kittens, to your thoughts and prayers. Particularly the cute fluffy ones in lolcats.
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif) for all our hell hosts. We you soooo much. Also for the hell hosts (retired) and hellhosts (suspended) and hell hosts (bored out of their brains and no longer seen on the ship) and hell hosts (promoted) and hell hosts (deceased).
[ 18. September 2014, 08:37: Message edited by: Spike ]
Posts: 3259 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
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Posted
* 'd just like to say a prayer for the ****s. And the ***l***. And also the Welsh and the Ir***. And the r*******um. Which is in ****land. And also for the races at A****. And the goddess ***tar who has gotten jumbled up in the asterisks through no fault of her own. And also for anyone having a ********. Especially if it's their **th ********. And * just really want everyone to be *****.
[ 18. September 2014, 08:04: Message edited by: Autenrieth Road ]
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Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Ferijen:
and hell hosts (promoted)
Ai thenk yew.
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Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
Prayer requests are accepted, but on one condition: sacrifices must be offered. Goats are traditional, but chocolate works as well, and a reliable source informs me that burning boy band CD's make a smell most pleasing to the Lord.
Or Lord Baphomet. You're in Hell now. Guess who's going to be reading your prayer requests? This guy. Or this one.
Abandon all hope, ye who enter here
[ 18. September 2014, 12:27: Message edited by: Ariston ]
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
"Burning boy band CD's".
Hmm. There's an ambiguity there and my preference is that the CD's don't burn. Either kind of CD.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Cthulhu
PRAY TO BE EATEN FIRST
# 16186
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Ariston:
Guess who's going to be reading your prayer requests? ... Or this one.
NOT REALLY MY THING, TO BE HONEST. TRY THAT OTHER GUY, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT AT LEAST ONE FUCK TO GIVE.
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I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL. Nothing personal.
Posts: 78 | From: R'lyeh | Registered: Jan 2011
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Honest Ron Bacardi
Shipmate
# 38
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Cthulhu:
quote:
Crap spouted by Ariston:
Guess who's going to be reading your prayer requests? ... Or this one.
NOT REALLY MY THING, TO BE HONEST. TRY THAT OTHER GUY, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT AT LEAST ONE FUCK TO GIVE.
Master!
(or possibly Mistress! It's hard to tell)
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Anglo-Cthulhic
Posts: 4857 | From: the corridors of Pah! | Registered: May 2001
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Cthulhu:
quote:
Crap spouted by Ariston:
Guess who's going to be reading your prayer requests? ... Or this one.
NOT REALLY MY THING, TO BE HONEST. TRY THAT OTHER GUY, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT AT LEAST ONE FUCK TO GIVE.
Aaaw! S/he's back!
Who's a wuvwy Cthulhu, then? Who's a wuvwy Cthulhu? You is, dat's who. Yes you is. Yes you is. Catch! [Throws human soul for Cthulhu to catch and devour]
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
Jaysus, * just pray, Lord, that the blem***ed souls of those who spout iniquities on this God-forsaken board will just see your Glorious Light! Amen! Lord Jaysus, Father God, we BELIEVE in your Righteousness! Hallelujah! We just pray, Merciful and Everlasting Father that you will just HEAL the wicked flouncers, and that they would BOW, bow before your throne of RIGHTEOUSNESS and MERCY!!! We pray that your PURIFYING Fire will burn! Amen! Burn the evil from their putrid and blackened souls, and that JUSTICE will roll like the waters of the Jordan, and just fill them with GOODNESS and they will be right with You!
We just thank you for the glories of your servants, the Hosts of Heaven. May their days be FILLED with Love, Mercy and Grace! Blessed Jaysus, our hearts are broken, BROKEN because of the wickedness of the Hosts of Hull. Just revive them! HEAL them, Lord Jaysus! Hallelujah!Amen!!!
Now, join in singing hymn number 102, "Shine, Jaysus, Shine"
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
God, * realise that, with a few billion galaxies to look after, You may be a tad busy: but if You could see Your gracious and merciful way to getting round to that list of potential smitees * gave some time ago, * 'd be grateful. Possibly a whole goat grateful. Though if your divine wrath extends to the entire Tory party, we could be talking oxen.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sober Preacher's Kid
Presbymethegationalist
# 12699
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Cthulhu:
quote:
Crap spouted by Ariston:
Guess who's going to be reading your prayer requests? ... Or this one.
NOT REALLY MY THING, TO BE HONEST. TRY THAT OTHER GUY, HE LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT AT LEAST ONE FUCK TO GIVE.
* wondered when you'd show up.
"Oh, the Cat came back, the very next day...."
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NDP Federal Convention Ottawa 2018: A random assortment of Prots and Trots.
Posts: 7646 | From: Peterborough, Upper Canada | Registered: Jun 2007
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Ariston
Insane Unicorn
# 10894
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Posted
You think * wasn't trying to summon Cthulhu? Forget what you've been told—Hellhost Manual Part 1 involves summoning elder gods.
If that's part one, you don't want to know what the rest involves.
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“Therefore, let it be explained that nowhere are the proprieties quite so strictly enforced as in men’s colleges that invite young women guests, especially over-night visitors in the fraternity houses.” Emily Post, 1937.
Posts: 6849 | From: The People's Republic of Balcones | Registered: Jan 2006
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Sober Preacher's Kid
Presbymethegationalist
# 12699
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
You forget * saw this plot last H&A Day.
The first time it's tragedy, the second time it's farce.
Now, where's my Calamari?
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NDP Federal Convention Ottawa 2018: A random assortment of Prots and Trots.
Posts: 7646 | From: Peterborough, Upper Canada | Registered: Jun 2007
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
quote:
Crap spouted by Firenze:
God,.... if your divine wrath extends to the entire Tory party, we could be talking oxen.
AHMENNNNN! Preach it sister!
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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