|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Do you regret it?
|
Potoroo
Shipmate
# 13466
|
Posted
I was wondering, do you regret your time in the church / following God / believing in God?
I do. I think it was all a waste of the prime years of my life. (I don't say that lightly.) I think I was an idiot.
In fact, the only thing I don't regret is that I have a good friend now, from that time. She is a Christian but doesn't attend church.
Maybe you regret some of it, or all of it...what do you feel now? Was it worth it? Looking back, what would you do differently?
--------------------
Gilbert's Potoroo is Australia's most endangered animal.
Posts: 2778 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
TallPoppy
Shipmate
# 16294
|
Posted
I suppose that because I always followed my faith very privately, I have nothing to regret. I didn't join a church or try to evangelise in any way. Most of my friends and colleagues were non-believers.
I am sorry you look back in regret, and perhaps even anger.
I suppose the nearest equivalent I have are the years lost to my eating disorder. Wasted years, in the prime of my life. Trying to starve myself - an extreme form of self-cruelty.
I hope that in time you may become more at peace with what has been.
TP
--------------------
Papaver exaltatum
"Love comforteth like sunshine after rain"
Posts: 2389 | From: Southern England | Registered: Mar 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
MrsBeaky
Shipmate
# 17663
|
Posted
I hope it's OK to post on this thread as I am someone who still has faith and is working with the Anglican Church....but your OP also has considerable resonance for me.
I married into a family from the opposite end of the spectrum from my childhood faith and then spent years serving and/or being consumed by life in that environment.
I regret so much- the narrowness of spirituality and the sense of empire building especially but I'm also grateful for the opportunities I had to discover and use my gifts and talents. One of my biggest regrets is the amount I invested in certain relationships only to discover when I moved on that they were not the friendships I thought they were but were dependent on working towards the same goals.Only a handful of relationships have endured from more than 20 years spent together!
Every time I find myself lamenting over what feels like wasted years, I have to remind myself that those years helped form me and I am grateful for that.
I found Richard Rohr's book "Falling Upwards" really helpful in processing all this, but it is written from the point of view of still having faith (albeit in a different form) so might be not so helpful to those of us who have moved beyond that.
--------------------
"It is better to be kind than right."
http://davidandlizacooke.wordpress.com
Posts: 693 | From: UK/ Kenya | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged
|
|
Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
|
Posted
No. And part of me still wishes that I could attend and be a part of the community without committing an act of intellectual and moral dishonesty.
If I went back and did things differently I would probably not have become Orthodox. I do have a deep seated affection for Orthodoxy and I miss it but - hmmm staring at the post trying to explain this - I can't BE Orthodox. I can't say and do all the things asked of me without being a hypocrite or without wanting to de-beard some ultra-right wing Russian bishop so I stay away from it.
I wouldn't have gone to stay in a convent in Belarus either. That really cemented my cynicism.
But I don't regret meeting the people I have met or studying the things I have studied. It means I have an understanding of a world view and a cultural history that is invaluable in allowing me to engage in civil and knowledgeable debate with others.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mark Wuntoo
Shipmate
# 5673
|
Posted
I am fortunate in not regretting my time in church and GOD.
Even though I 'gave-up' on institutional religion, I did not leave, hoping that I might be able to bring about some small change at a local level. Whilst in ministry, because I believed GOD could change stuff, I was completely honest and sincere and happy most of the time. It was a joy to be with like-minded people and to be involved together in things ‘in the community’. I spent some time in my middle-years in researching aspects of church life in order to better equip me for ministry; this was both overseas and here through university (none of this was paid for by the church but it was because I was a Christian that I was able to do it). I remain very grateful for all of this.
It was because I was a GLE Christian that, at the age of 18 I volunteered (eeeeekkkk) as a National Serviceman to be sent to Aden - turned out that I stayed only a few weeks there before I toured the world. A wonderful experience, except for the army bit!
quote:
Maybe you regret some of it, or all of it...what do you feel now? Was it worth it? Looking back, what would you do differently?
Not sure if it was worth it, for me. Can’t say whether the congregations thought it was worth it! I don’t feel it was time wasted or even that I might have spent my time in a better way. I try not to say ‘I made a mistake in deciding to do this or that’ because it’s done and past. Would I have done things differently? I think I might have been more bold in experimenting in worship styles and sermon subjects and in trying to bring about change rather earlier in my ministry – but that would depend on my ‘growth’ which came late.
--------------------
Blessed are the cracked for they let in the light.
Posts: 1950 | From: Somewhere else. | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged
|
|
Karl: Liberal Backslider
Shipmate
# 76
|
Posted
I've not left the faith/church, but I am decidedly an ex charismatic ex evangelical.
And I do regret some of the things I did and said when I was in that milieu. I think my parents might at one point in my student days have feared for my sanity.
--------------------
Might as well ask the bloody cat.
Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
|
Posted
I do and don't.
I do feel that as my teen years/early 20s were all geared to training for ministry or accompanying my ex towards that goal that I completely lost out career wise. I was far too narrowly focused.
I think I will always have a pang of regret for what could have been. I'd love to train in other areas but the time of being a fresh faced graduate has gone.
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
|
Posted
I also regret that so much of that period of my life was taking up with church and meetings. (I know this wasn't the case for all Christians at all, in fact probably not most, but I was amongst a group of "all or nothing" "giving life to God" Christians and went to any worship I could...)
The two closest friends from that time I don't even see anymore (one being my ex) so I cant even say the close relationships I developed were worth it.
I wasn't at many college events as I was at church worship/prayer/housegroup/revival meetings and didn't fully take part in Uni life at all. Similarly early 20s I worked for a church and most nights between us were taken up with worship practice/ housegroup leaders/ housegroup/prayer meetings/ leadership meetings...
It was just so all consuming of that period of my life. At that time it felt like it was all for God or something. Looking back I do feel I missed out.
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Snags
Utterly socially unrealistic
# 15351
|
Posted
I think Emma Louise's last post is what gets to me. Not for personal regret, as I followed a different tack, but for now (personally). Even in a more balanced setting it is so easy for 'work for the Kingdom' to actually be perpetuating the organisation/institution. I struggle with that balance weekly, as between paid employment and stuff done to keep aspects of weekly church happening I have sod all left for building relationships, getting out amongst local folk, or even pursuing personal interests.
I don't regret the faith aspects. I do sometimes wish me-now had been me-then in some areas, as I might have gone a very different way. But I have a good marriage, friends, and am not starving, so on balance I'm not that disgruntled, just having an extended mid-life crisis!
--------------------
Vain witterings :-: Vain pretentions :-: The Dog's Blog(locks)
Posts: 1399 | From: just north of That London | Registered: Dec 2009
| IP: Logged
|
|
Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I've not left the faith/church, but I am decidedly an ex charismatic ex evangelical.
And I do regret some of the things I did and said when I was in that milieu. I think my parents might at one point in my student days have feared for my sanity.
This is me too; though still part of a con-evo church.
A very wise lady said to me once, actually about my mum who had recently died and said towards the end of her life that she thought she had lost her faith, that what is lost is not faith but belief, because faith is to do with relationship. I am still working out exactly what that means, but I certainly don't believe some of the things I used to, and believe some things I used not to; but deep inside somewhere is a sense of God/the divine which never goes away. Or hasn't yet. Some of the personal accounts in some of the other threads here are heartbreaking and who knows where I would be if they were my story.
--------------------
They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
|
Posted
I regret spending so much time and money on church,and believing so many "don't" rules about what life experiences are OK with God, that I missed out on a lot of things I would have truly enjoyed.
Why did I devote too much time and attention to church? I guess I crave belonging or feeling needed/useful.
I miss the friendships. Actually it was just illusions of friendships. People who don't remember your existence except when they see you at church are merely acquaintances. With church out of the picture, I can work on real friendships.
But an older and wiser friend points out the things we did in the past, including all our mistakes, are what got us to who we are now. Mistakes are a huge part of learning. I wish I could have learned some things a lot faster, like in weeks instead of years. But that's who I was back then (and probably now too) - slow learner in real life.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Autenrieth Road
Shipmate
# 10509
|
Posted
I don't regret my time, because I don't know how else I could have done. And I think the things I did were, and are, meaningful. I don't have a problem with church itself, by and large, which may contribute to my not regretting my time.
I do regret that people in the group I was co-leading up until this last summer got hurt by the way my co-leader and I had a huge falling out at the end. The falling-out wasn't about my loss of faith, but it's linked in some way because while I was in the group I kept trying to understand Christianity, and wondering what I was missing that everyone else in the group seemed to have a solid faith and I didn't, and editing what I said because I didn't want to undermine anyone else's faith by being too open about my own doubts (they probably think I was quite open about my doubts, and in some ways I was, but there were also things I edited). So once we'd had the falling out and were both out of the group for the following year, in particular once I was out, I could start to think what I really thought instead of keeping on trying to be like the other people in the group. So I'm really glad for that result of being out, and I don't think I subconsciously brewed up the fight in order to get out (for one thing, my expectation until the very very end had been that I'd stay in and just my co-leader would leave; on the other hand the subconscious is a tricky thing), but I'm sorry that the other people were hurt.
--------------------
Truth
Posts: 9559 | From: starlight | Registered: Oct 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
|
Posted
Yes! I very much regret it. I regret the people I hung out with who disappeared into the ether when I started to explore my faith more deeply ultimately abandoning it. I regret trying to fit in with the cool people who were never going to accept me and the ensuing hurt. I never understood their nastiness. I regret friendships with work people that were compromised through my faith - I found it very difficult to balance two lifestyles - at least that is how I perceived it. I regret time, money, emotion, energy. I should have been out having fun, rather than earnestly praying with a bunch of rather unpleasant people and hoping in my chronic insecurity they would accept me. Quite simply - I should have been out getting drunk and having great sex ! Damn waste.
I have a belief system now, and it is not entirely contrary to Christianity but it is much much richer and deeper - and so I don't regret developing a structure and a belief system which has, I believe, enabled me to find a greater richness. I probably would have found it anyway - who knows.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
|
Posted
I am sort of torn on this question.
On the one side, I regret the time that I have wasted trying to be accepted by the church, trying to do the things that are expected. I chose, many times, the church over other things, and I sometimes regret that. I feel unbelievably let down by the church as a whole, because of the time I have put into in (and I did make the point in my last church that I had given a whole lot to the church - and I had, including managing the music group while the normal leader was on maternity leave - and when I wanted something back, they let me down).
OTOH, I know that I would not be where I am now, spiritually especially, without what I have been through. I try to take the view that "Je ne regrette rien", because I could only be where I am now - I could only have started the Faithfree board because of where I have been.
I wish that I had had more sex, been more reckless, been less uptight. But I wouldn't then be the person I am today. I don't know if I would be a better or worse person, or what that means. Of course, I could be more reckless today, but many of the same restrictions are there - I have responsibilities, I have moral codes, I have reasons why I am not out banging everyone I can.
So I suppose it is less "regrets", more an acknowledgement that decisions I have made have consequences, and I have to accept those consequences. I may wish I had made different decisions, but then I accept that they would have their own consequences.
--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Doublethink.
Ship's Foolwise Unperson
# 1984
|
Posted
I went to a cofe boarding school, we were compelled to attend worship, the chaplin was an extremely unpleasant man who also taught some classes and was married to our seriously unpleasant housemistress. (Does telling 11 year olds hundreds of miles away from their parents that if they don't write happy letters to their parents their parents won't love them count as emotionally abusive ?)
Those five years destroyed the faith I had had before that, and undermined my appreciation of the anglican liturgy for the rest of my life. I regret that.
--------------------
All political thinking for years past has been vitiated in the same way. People can foresee the future only when it coincides with their own wishes, and the most grossly obvious facts can be ignored when they are unwelcome. George Orwell
Posts: 19219 | From: Erehwon | Registered: Aug 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
|
Posted
*Waves to Beenster* Gosh my life has changed significantly since I met you at one of my first shipmeets.... I was raving mad christian then!! Life's been er interesting.
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Potoroo
Shipmate
# 13466
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Doublethink.:
(Does telling 11 year olds hundreds of miles away from their parents that if they don't write happy letters to their parents their parents won't love them count as emotionally abusive ?)
YES.
And as for wishing I'd had more sex: me three.
--------------------
Gilbert's Potoroo is Australia's most endangered animal.
Posts: 2778 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
the famous rachel
Shipmate
# 1258
|
Posted
Hi All,
I don't regret much of my Christian life. When I became a Christian I wasn't in a great place, and I desperately needed to feel loved and wanted and Christianity gave me something of what I needed. I found a space within the church to sort out a lot of issues I had, and I don't know how well, if at all, I would have coped with that outside the church. A lot of Christian people were wonderfully kind and welcoming to me, at times when I needed that.
Accepting Jesus and the whole evangelical thang did put some strictures on my life, but I think some of those kept me safe. Needy teenagers who don't see any problem with sex outside marriage can get themselves into various sorts of bother, and my belief that God wanted me not to be having sex put the brakes on that quite nicely. I'm aware that's not always how it goes, but it worked for me.
I enjoyed most of my time in church except for the last couple of years, and would quite like to find my way back into it. I've been in a couple of wonderful communities, both within a larger church and as the totality of a smaller church. After moving house so that I could no longer attend the latter, I failed to find the right church - somewhere that could let me be part of the community in a full sense: doubts, confusion and all - and trying to find my feet in the wrong church a couple of times was probably a fruitless endeavour. I should perhaps have stepped away sooner than I did, or maybe used the time I spent trying to cling on to the evangelical church on a quest for something that my doubting brain could cope with better. If I had done so, I might not have stepped away from church at all.
I think I am unusual to an extent here, in that I have very little animus towards the church in general, or any given church in particular. I'm not even angry with God particularly these days. I just can't hold the ideas in my head anymore, except as a sort of intellectual exercise.
Best wishes,
Rachel.
--------------------
A shrivelled appendix to the body of Christ.
Posts: 912 | From: In the lab. | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Macrina:
If I went back and did things differently I would probably not have become Orthodox. I do have a deep seated affection for Orthodoxy and I miss it but - hmmm staring at the post trying to explain this - I can't BE Orthodox.
I feel the same. Not sure when, not sure why, but I just cannot anymore. I was not particularly good at fasting, or regular confession [despite it being a reason I wanted to become Orthodox], so perhaps I never truly "converted". I was 28 when I converted but immature in many ways...I do not think I should have. For some unknown reason I still believe all the traditional tenets, and want to, but it really has no impact of my life so I have given up trying.
Do not regret it though. I met some wonderful people, learnt a lot about myself, had support through my mental ups and downs and hospitalisations [I was very blessed; not sure I realised it], and more. I wish I still had it. Perhaps moving away from Sydney and the parish was unwise...but I seemed to be heading away from a meaningful faith beforehand so perhaps not.
[ 09. February 2015, 08:06: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
|
Posted
I think it is quite easy to look back at life and feel regret - in my case church was a part of my life from birth, so most of my most cringeworthy memories are associated with church.
But then, if I'd been someone else, wouldn't I have similar experiences in a different context?
As an adult, I've felt a lot of regret about church, mostly because I have always felt uncomfortable and an outsider in almost every church context I've been in. Many times I have felt like an observer, watching others engaging and not being able to get fully involved. Other times I have been more involved but frequently got burned.
I suppose to some extent I regret not having found anything that I can wholeheartedly become passionately involved in.
--------------------
arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider:
I've not left the faith/church, but I am decidedly an ex charismatic ex evangelical.
Me too.
I am still in a con-evo Church. I even led worship on Sunday!
I avoid it as much as I can, but they begged me, so I did half of the service. I said nothing that I don't believe, but I no longer think my words are 'from God' in any way whatever (yes, I used to ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) ) At least seven people came up to me after the service saying 'you haven't lost your gift' ... etc etc etc. Very complimentary. Hmmmmm, what's that all about then? It must simply be my voice which is conducive to helping people worship? Or maybe it was a buttering up exercise?
Anyway - I won't be rushing to do more, but it was interesting that 1) I was able to do it without saying anything I didn't believe. 2) nobody noticed. 3) They felt that what I said 'connected' them to God just the same.
eta - sorry, that was completely off-topic!
[ 09. February 2015, 11:42: Message edited by: Boogie ]
--------------------
Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
mr cheesy
Shipmate
# 3330
|
Posted
Hi Boogie - interested to hear how you were able to lead worship whilst not believing it (of course, totally understand if you can't talk about it).
Best
C
--------------------
arse
Posts: 10697 | Registered: Sep 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
parm
Shipmate
# 9287
|
Posted
Context - like others in the thread, I'm not completely faith-free (yet); I still find myself wanting to believe, but often unable to do so.
I spent a considerable portion of my teens and 20s involved in charismatic/evangelical churches. I regret that I allowed myself to live within the social/moral strictures of that environment, especially when it meant condemning the behaviour of some close non-Christian friends: I never felt right, for example, condemning homosexuality, but I did it, and I hurt people I care about, and I regret it. I regret at times being that annoying, pious little shit and hiding behind "that's just what the Bible says" too often, whilst simultaneously feeling profoundly uncomfortable with it. I regret the hypocrisy and the self-denial and the lying to myself and others.
I don't regret some of the other experiences - I played in some great bands, with some amazing musicians. I got a grounding in sound engineering and live audio. I made some good friends, some of whom I'm even still in touch with. I appreciate hugely that it has kept me around people from outside of my age/socioeconomic bracket and had experiences I wouldn't have otherwise had.
[ 09. February 2015, 13:44: Message edited by: parm ]
--------------------
Honestly, I have no idea.
Posts: 98 | From: Cambridge | Registered: Apr 2005
| IP: Logged
|
|
quetzalcoatl
Shipmate
# 16740
|
Posted
I regret very little about my time in church; as others have said, met some great people, explored tons of interesting ideas.
I was always quite reserved about it in any case, or really, I had quite idiosyncratic ideas (rather like Jung's, I suppose), so it didn't bother me that obviously other people were more literalist than me.
I suppose there is some anger; I find myself railing about Christians in some contexts. It's a kind of working through, I think, and I still have some affection and interest in some of it. It's a bit like an ex-wife! But as with ex-wives, boredom can quickly set in now.
--------------------
I can't talk to you today; I talked to two people yesterday.
Posts: 9878 | From: UK | Registered: Oct 2011
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
Hi Boogie - interested to hear how you were able to lead worship whilst not believing it (of course, totally understand if you can't talk about it).
I still believe there's a God, just that s/he is totally non-interventionist and doesn't give or take away anything.
So I addressed the God I believe in, not the God they (probably) believe in. I have been up front with our Minister about all this and she is fine, I think she thinks being involved will re-convert me to a more traditional stance.
(Worship Leading in the Methodist Church isn't about the music, we take the service like a lay-preacher would but without the sermon. The preacher still does the sermon. So the hymn choices were mine and I didn't have to choose any nonsense)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
--------------------
Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
Hi Boogie - interested to hear how you were able to lead worship whilst not believing it (of course, totally understand if you can't talk about it).
I still believe there's a God, just that s/he is totally non-interventionist and doesn't give or take away anything.
So I addressed the God I believe in, not the God they (probably) believe in.
I'm intrigued, I've been (on and off) in a Methodist church for a decade, I've assumed they mostly believe in a non-interventionist God, I sure never hear reports of "what God did in my life"! You may have joined the majority belief.
(I've never been in a Methodist church with lay leaders. The clergy I've known refuse to allow mention of the district's Lay Speaker training program. But maybe you are referring to music selection, which the hired music director does. I should admit others tell me the local Methodist church is not typical of the denomination.)
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
Belle Ringer
Shipmate
# 13379
|
Posted
My experience with a praise band reflects my experience with church.
The whole thing - joining, staying in while unhappy, dropping out - is so recent I can see without the haze of decades (but without the reflection time allows).
I joined for mixed reasons. 1. To play piano, a good motivation, benefit both me and others. 2. To be "helpful", it was "something I could do for the church." That is an unhealthy motivation, it's disdains and drains you "for the good of the church", most churches encourage this unhealth.
Took about 4 months to recognize I would never play piano. They had a better player who never missed. I should have dropped then. I hated getting up that early, I was frustrated each Sunday by the lack of sufficient mics (one for the band leader, one for the other 7 which meant most of us were 10-20 feet from any mic), and I disliked the music (CCM dripping PSA with extreme ranges and awkward rhythm changes, alternating with vapid camp songs of empty phrases to a bouncy beat).
I regret staying past the point at which I knew I would never finger the piano. Feeling tied to a promise to "help" was soul-diminishing. So long as I expected to rotate on piano, I had the hope of purpose which got me practicing the songs at home to be ready to fill in, which helped improve my playing. When I stopped believing the promise, I lost motivation to practice; band stopped doing me any good. (I hear a dozen Shipmates yelling "it's not about you." But if I am part of the church then anything benefiting the church must at minimum not harm me or the church is being harmed!)
The last straw was the discovery that we weren't a band, we were *by design* a soloist with a visual illusion of backup singers. Each singer needs to be a hand's width from a vocal mic to be picked up properly. Only the lead singer had a separate mic. I offered to bring my three vocal mics so we could all be paired on mics. He said NO! Sing melody only, softly, off mic.
So, I need to be aware of when I am motivated by unhealthy reasons such as "being helpful" or "wanting him to like me"; I need to be more expressive when I first notice something doesn't make sense instead of assuming those in charge are aware of the problem and working to fix it; I need to periodically rethink why I am doing whatever I am doing, are there positive reasons I would choose it today or is it just a habit that drains me, treats me like expendable dirt for someone else's or some institution's advantage?
If I can learn those lessons, the year in the band will be time well spent. If I can't, it's lost time and energy.
Posts: 5830 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2008
| IP: Logged
|
|
SvitlanaV2
Shipmate
# 16967
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belle Ringer:
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
quote:
Originally posted by mr cheesy:
Hi Boogie - interested to hear how you were able to lead worship whilst not believing it (of course, totally understand if you can't talk about it).
I still believe there's a God, just that s/he is totally non-interventionist and doesn't give or take away anything.
So I addressed the God I believe in, not the God they (probably) believe in.
I'm intrigued, I've been (on and off) in a Methodist church for a decade, I've assumed they mostly believe in a non-interventionist God, I sure never hear reports of "what God did in my life"! You may have joined the majority belief.
(I've never been in a Methodist church with lay leaders. The clergy I've known refuse to allow mention of the district's Lay Speaker training program. But maybe you are referring to music selection, which the hired music director does. I should admit others tell me the local Methodist church is not typical of the denomination.)
The American United Methodist Church has been a separate institution from the British Methodist Church for a long time, so there are probably several differences. However, although British Methodists rarely talk about 'what God did in my life', this doesn't necessarily mean that they all see God as a non-interventionist deity.
IMO the British Methodist silence about these things is more of a cultural thing; British Methodists are very much into community and conflict-avoidance, which means not saying or doing something that will upset the apple cart. And Boogie's experience seems to confirm this. Although she refers to hers as a 'con-evo' Methodist congregation, the minister and other members are clearly uninterested in creating any sort of issue around her unorthodox beliefs, and would rather affirm her so she feels comfortable as part of the group. This strikes me as very Methodist.
In addition, British Methodist churches are almost always desperate for people to fill posts in the church, so they can't afford to be too particular about theology! You'd NEVER find a British Methodist minister refusing to allow mention of training for lay preachers, because they know how essential lay workers are in our system!
As for me, I can't complain about years of evangelicalism cramping my style or stultifying my personal growth. All I can say is that I allowed my membership of the unglamorous, undramatic Methodist Church to lapse a few years ago, when my church closed. I certainly regret the closure. But I'll always be deeply influenced by what Methodism has given me of value, and I must always be grateful for that. Sometimes I wonder if I was in that environment too long, but circumstances played a part in keeping me there, as well as my own personality.
Posts: 6668 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2012
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
