Ship of Fools: This morning this non-theist went to confession.

Thread: This morning this non-theist went to confession. Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

To visit this thread, use this URL:
http://forum.ship-of-fools.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=70;t=028100

Posted by Mark Wuntoo (# 5673) on :

Actually I shared my non-theism with a good Christian friend. It was essential that I let her know my discomfort (but not refusal) at playing the organ for a family event. I told her that this would be the very last time I would play the organ for anything. And then, with some nervousness, I told her about my ‘not doing GOD any more’. I was somewhat surprised by her reaction. She wanted to hug me because she was sorry for me. So I had to share that I had thought long and hard and am happier now than when she knew me as her minister.
The dear lady was taken-aback but I feel sure she will come to terms with who I now am. I made sure that she understood my views about people who have their gods.

Anyone else had strange reactions when they 'come-out' as faith-free?

Posted by Potoroo (# 13466) on :

Good for you, Mark Wuntoo!

What I mean is, good for you for standing up for yourself about not playing the organ any more, and for also making it clear about your views.

I have had lots of responses where the other person reacted as if it was just a minor blip on my journey - that after the rough patch I would be back to normal Christianity. I was probably the first person they knew who had 'fallen away' (as they saw it), and it was like they couldn't process it any other way.

Also, I think there was the element of me being a support to a lot of people, and those people might have felt as if I had rudely withdrawn that Christian support (e.g. prayer). Also the element of not comprehending why I would do such a thing, and not being able to fit me into their framework of the world.

A few people felt sorry for me too, Mark Wuntoo. I explained that this was a serious decision, and never heard back from them.

Actually, I didn't know any people who left Christianity, when I was a Christian. How would I have reacted to them? I've thought about this, and I think I would have listened to them. Like when a girl on my sports team told us she was gay, and I'd had no idea. It was a shock, but I listened to her, in order to understand.

Sounds like this lady listened to you, Mark Wuntoo. Good for her, as not many Christians listened to my reasons when I left.

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I was told I was sulking. That was interesting. I think I have proved that person wrong.

There is a sense where people assume it is a minor hiccup, not a rationally thought through decision. Because Christians don't make that sort of decision.

There is a lot of black and white thinking in churches - you are either "in" or "out". There is no real "yes to this, no to that, fuck to that". You sign up to everything or nothing.

Posted by Palimpsest (# 16772) on :

It's sad you've given up organ as well, unless that was just a chore.

Posted by Mark Wuntoo (# 5673) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Palimpsest:
It's sad you've given up organ as well, unless that was just a chore.

The physical act of playing was not a chore; sometimes it even got exciting when I tried to ‘move’ the congregation.
It is too stressful to be there, what with the stuff that is said from the front and so on (it’s nothing ‘heretical’ just plain standard Christian teaching).
As I’ve said elsewhere, I went back, as a non-theist, for a couple of years because I had heard that the singing was dire, there was no regular organist and I thought I could do something about it. I believe fairly strongly in the value of people being together and enjoying themselves so thought I could put up with the Christian stuff. Unfortunately my playing made little difference to the singing.
To be fair to the lady who spoke to me so recently – she did express some dismay that I wouldn’t be playing again; perhaps I did make a bit of a difference!

Posted by Belle Ringer (# 13379) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Mark Wuntoo:

quote:
Originally posted by Palimpsest:
It's sad you've given up organ as well, unless that was just a chore.
It is too stressful to be there, what with the stuff that is said from the front and so on (it’s nothing ‘heretical’ just plain standard Christian teaching).

I understand, it's why I quit choir even though I love to sing and enjoy God - sitting through the church stuff got harder and harder, my body expressing dismay by wanting to frequently change position, toe tap, wiggle, sigh, which had to be suppressed to avoid pulling attention away from prayers or sermon by noise and movement, the choir sitting front and center, right behind the altar.

But I can sing elsewhere - at home, with friends, open mics, community choruses.

Harder to play organ elsewhere unless you have a home organ, which one friend does. And some jazz bands use a small organ!

Do you have ways to still enjoy making music? piano maybe?

Posted by Mark Wuntoo (# 5673) on :

For me, no amount of 'change position, toe tap, wiggle, sigh' can turn my ears off.
I used the word 'organ' rather loosely! The church replaced its organ with one of those electronic keyboards thingies. Although it was a good one, I could not defeat it. I hate it. Fortunately there is a piano in the worship area and I move over to that whenever appropriate.
I do have a piano at home.
Thanks for your interest.

Posted by pimple (# 10635) on :

FWIW, this non-theist went into surgery recently, knowing that folk here were praying for me. I found it strangely reassuring. And I couldn't, I just couldn't bring myself to say "If there's anyone up there, you won't let those poor deluded buggers down, will you?"

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :

I am reminded of one of my favorite Matrix quotes:

quote:
Commander Lock: Dammit, Morpheus. Not everyone believes what you believe.
Morpheus: My beliefs do not require them to.

Their prayers do not require you to believe. You can benefit anyway. It is their expression of their belief.

And I hope the surgery went well.

Posted by pimple (# 10635) on :

Thanks. It did, brilliantly.

UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0