quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Sometimes, from thrift, or necessity or possibly misplaced confidence in your cooking ability, you make a meal which is memorable for the wrong reasons.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Tree Bee:
I made bread once. It was so dense that when thrown out for the birds they ignored it too.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cottontail:
This was made for me rather than by my own fair hand. But never use Wensleydale cheese with cranberries in a Tuna Pasta Bake. It makes the Pasta Bake purple. And sweet.

---

In a similar vein, I once made bacon & cabbage soup with red cabbage. I think it came out brown coloured.
Then there was the time I got a ready meal (just got home after Christmas and all the shops were closed), put it on the oven and turned on the grill rather than the oven - the plastic dish it was in melted.
I'm sure I've had many other disasters but there's so many I don't bother to remember them.
 

---

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
When I had a regular veggie box we were sent too much swede, all winter. I tried substituting it in potato recipes, sometimes effectively, mostly not. Don't ever try making gnocchi with swede.
 

---

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
All of which reminds me of Jo March's cooking in 'Little Women.' Her sister's verdict 'Salt instead of sugar, and the cream was sour.'
 

---

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Then there was the time I got some pureed apricots from the freezer for dessert, only to discover too late that I had used pumpkin soup in the pudding instead....
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
My infamous attempt to stretch the leftover sloppy joe filling by making omelets was a notable failure.

My grandmother tried to influence one of the local boys to become attached to my mom by telling him about mom's delicious doughnuts. Mom had never made them before. They were like rocks.
 

---

Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
Six female students flatting together – we didn't do mixed flatiing in the fifties.

And I actually can't remember whether we put Mary's pale custard on our cauliflower thinking it was white sauce, or kept it for our pudding and found that it was white sauce for the cauliflower.

I guess Mary cooked dinner and then went off to a late lecture.

GG
 

---

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
I'm not sure if this counts as "culinary" or not, but when D. and I were courting, we'd go back to his flat for coffee, and although he rarely drinks coffee, he was very good at making it (his secret was a wee drop of whisky).

However, on one occasion, it tasted decidedly odd, but I was too polite to say anything. He asked me if it was OK, and I said it did taste a little different ...

"Ah" he said, "I ran out of whisky, so I put some GIN in it".

I think it ended up in the cheese-plant ...
 

---

Posted by Leaf (# 14169) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cottontail:
This was made for me rather than by my own fair hand. But never use Wensleydale cheese with cranberries in a Tuna Pasta Bake. It makes the Pasta Bake purple. And sweet.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
And dear God there were the salted chocolate chip cookies, made to a recipe by a famous chef, who clearly hadn't proofread it.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Cottontail:
This was made for me rather than by my own fair hand. But never use Wensleydale cheese with cranberries in a Tuna Pasta Bake. It makes the Pasta Bake purple. And sweet.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Banner Lady:
Then there was the time I got some pureed apricots from the freezer for dessert, only to discover too late that I had used pumpkin soup in the pudding instead....

---

I did this the other way round! I used apricots in pumpkin soup which I had taken to a shared meal


And there was the chickpea loaf that could have been used to replace bricks broken in the earthquake.

Huia
 

---

Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on :
 
Don't eat eggs that I have cooked! I am rubbish at breakfast, but good at steak.

They have this wonderful invention here: microwave Brussels sprouts - we eat them once or twice a week and they go well with steaks or bangers.
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
As an inexperienced yoof I once marinaded some very good steak in red wine but no oil - the taste was just a tad acid!



The young man I was trying to entice into an afternoon's slap and tickle was not impressed.
 

---

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Do not use red lettuce in courgette and lettuce soup; the resulting brown colour is unattractive.

If you have used red lettuce, do not try to rescue it by adding a dash of cream; this converts an unattractive brown into something much worse.

However, if you want to get a small child to eat said soup, adding a plastic hippopotamus does help, as the soup does look like the sort of stuff a hippo might wallow in, and small children are apparently willing to eat "swamp soup."
 

---

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Anyone else had a child who took one look at their dinner and then refused to say Grace on the basis that "If I tell God I'm grateful for this He will know I'm telling lies."?
 

---

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Anyone else had a child who took one look at their dinner and then refused to say Grace on the basis that "If I tell God I'm grateful for this He will know I'm telling lies."?

---

Quotes file!
 

---

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :
 
Just remembered the first time I tried to do honey-roasted chicken. Nobody told me that you had to add the honey 2/3rds of the way through the roasting. I put it on at the start.

Nothing has ever come out of my oven more black, crisp and inedible.
 

---

Posted by Dal Segno (# 14673) on :
 
Making a brown gravy the way you make white sauce, replacing the milk with equal amounts of soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce. The taste was strong. Very strong.
 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Anyone else had a child who took one look at their dinner and then refused to say Grace on the basis that "If I tell God I'm grateful for this He will know I'm telling lies."?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Do not use red lettuce in courgette and lettuce soup; the resulting brown colour is unattractive.

If you have used red lettuce, do not try to rescue it by adding a dash of cream; this converts an unattractive brown into something much worse.

However, if you want to get a small child to eat said soup, adding a plastic hippopotamus does help, as the soup does look like the sort of stuff a hippo might wallow in, and small children are apparently willing to eat "swamp soup."

---

 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
All of which brings to mind an uncle of mine contemplating a brown, rather slurry-like mixture I had going on the cooker and remarking, in a slow, Monaghan drawl: 'I've see stuff like that before. But it wasn't in a saucepan.'
 

---

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Salmon with mint: the mint went well enough with the grain, pea and endame bean salad, just not with the accompanying salmon.
 

---

Posted by jrw (# 18045) on :
 
I once tried to make chocolate fudge. After letting all the black smoke out of the window, I spent most of the evening chiseling a rock hard black substance off the inside of the saucepan.
 

---

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
... the natural dye in red cabbage is powerful stuff and turns mashed potato purple ...

---

You may jest, but over here, especially out in the country, no church pot-luck is complete without at least one mashed-potato salad that's been coloured with beetroot juice, which has a similar effect.


 

---

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Piglet:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
... the natural dye in red cabbage is powerful stuff and turns mashed potato purple ...

---

You may jest, but over here, especially out in the country, no church pot-luck is complete without at least one mashed-potato salad that's been coloured with beetroot juice, which has a similar effect.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Do not use red lettuce in courgette and lettuce soup; the resulting brown colour is unattractive.

If you have used red lettuce, do not try to rescue it by adding a dash of cream; this converts an unattractive brown into something much worse.

However, if you want to get a small child to eat said soup, adding a plastic hippopotamus does help, as the soup does look like the sort of stuff a hippo might wallow in, and small children are apparently willing to eat "swamp soup."

---

Are you trying to kill us?
Cattyish, nearly dying laughing.
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
...Crunchy. Avoid like the plague. Usually it means that scrunched up potato crisps are scattered over the top, not necessarily a good thing.

I have less-than-fond memories of a particularly revolting number produced by my late Mama, Crunchy Tuna Bake. This consisted of tuna fish in parsley sauce, a layer of processed peas and chopped carrots, topping of mashed potato and parsnip combination, all topped off with a topping of crushed cheese & onion crisps mixed with grated stilton. I don't think the sauce bubbling up from the bottom layer helped but
 

---

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
Talking of colours, black pudding, green peppers and red tomatoes may be a dashing combination - but doesn't really work as a sandwich filling.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Piglet:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
... the natural dye in red cabbage is powerful stuff and turns mashed potato purple ...

---

You may jest, but over here, especially out in the country, no church pot-luck is complete without at least one mashed-potato salad that's been coloured with beetroot juice, which has a similar effect.

---

Is that deliberate? If it hasn't been done a book of "Fellowship Cooking" is needed to collect the off-dishes that are taken to Bring'n'shares and Putlucks, but rarely if ever served at the family table.

Dining with other Christian couples can still be fraught. Is there anything worse than lasagna served with boiled spuds, carrots and sprouts? No garlic bread, no mixed salad. That was taking good, plain cooking beyond Heck.
 

---

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Perhaps it depends on the particular variety of Christian - a mixed salad and garlic bread might have just made it too enjoyable ...

I don't know whether the pink salad is a staple in people's houses, but I know what you mean. I make carrot loaves for the morning coffee at the Cathedral sale, but I never make them at home as I don't really like them.

[ 13. October 2015, 13:45: Message edited by: Piglet ]
 

---

Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Sioni Sais - My husband has a friend who thinks pasta needs something like carrots or beetroot served with it.
I think community meals are fraught in various ways. not only are there the dishes that you can't identify, but then there is the too many cooks syndrome. I was cooking curry with a friend at a camp for a group of about thirty. She rinsed the rice first cooked it and left it to dry out, it was perfect. Someone else then came along and decided that it needed a rinse. The resulting glutinous lump was rejected not only by the diners but by the camp's Vietnamese pot bellied pigs.
 

---

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
The refectory at the place I used to work was run by a woman whose culinary skills could best be described as "absent"; she used to put the pasta on to cook for lunch as soon as they'd stopped serving breakfast, and by lunchtime it was a sticky, starchy mess.

When she was off work for a couple of months following surgery, the refectory takings shot up, and when she came back they plummeted again.

I wonder why?
 

---

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by North East Quine:
Do not use red lettuce in courgette and lettuce soup; the resulting brown colour is unattractive.

If you have used red lettuce, do not try to rescue it by adding a dash of cream; this converts an unattractive brown into something much worse.

However, if you want to get a small child to eat said soup, adding a plastic hippopotamus does help, as the soup does look like the sort of stuff a hippo might wallow in, and small children are apparently willing to eat "swamp soup."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
The springbok is a beautiful creature, but it tastes horrible. Never again.

---

I believe that the Japanese eat Springboks, don't they?
 

---

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
The springbok is a beautiful creature, but it tastes horrible. Never again.

---

I believe that the Japanese eat Springboks, don't they?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
The springbok is a beautiful creature, but it tastes horrible. Never again.

---

I believe that the Japanese eat Springboks, don't they?

---

I understand that the Wales squad have been seen in Japanese restaurants this week, trying to learn the (not so ancient) art of making Springbok sushi...
 

---

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Piglet:
she used to put the pasta on to cook for lunch as soon as they'd stopped serving breakfast,

---

Which reminds mr, is it time to put the sprouts on for Christmas?

Sometimes it is worth trying something a second time.

The first time I ate rubber bands they were tasteless and impossible to eat.

But it was worth trying again. In Agadir, Morocco, the calamari is one of the best thing I have ever eaten. Overcooked it is one of the worst.
 

---

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
My answer to this is virtually anything my mother tried to cook. With the emphasis on 'tried'.

-tofu in cake icing instead using butter

-jello to firm up cheesecake she tried to make from yoghurt

-powdered mushroom gravy as the sauce for everything

-belief that noodles could be parboiled and frozen for later use, which might be 6 months later, though we think the record is 2 years

-powdered milk to fortify everything, most egregiously soup, which was everything not eaten for supper during the week, which accounts for various punishments when young because I forgot to take some food out of my pockets before putting into the laundry. Lumps of undissolved powdered milk in soup were the good bits actually.
 

---

Posted by Siegfried (# 29) on :
 
Rachel Ray's "Chicken Marsala Masala". Why?!!
 

---

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 
I had a never again disaster that my son and his friends begged me to make again.

I don't really know what went wrong, but the fudge I made was as hard as cement. I had to use a knife and a hammer to get it out of the pan. As the brown rocks were on the way to the garbage can, my son asked if he could have them.

My stinker son took the fudge concrete to school and sold each rock for 25 cents! He made about five dollars. Son and all his friends begged me for years to make it again.
 

---

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
My mother used to tell that her grandmother would put the cabbage for lunch to cook on wood stove immediately after breakfast. That and any other green vegetables would be cooked with a heaped teaspoon of carb soda to keep them green. Necessary I guess with that length of cooking..
 

---

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
My mother would do the same - except I think she accepted that cabbage only needed 30 or 40 minutes...
 

---

Posted by The5thMary (# 12953) on :
 
I was in a hurry and very hungry. I was making homemade vegetable soup with macaroni "alphabets". I decided to shortcut the process and just dump the uncooked macaroni into the soup, thinking that the macaroni would cook just fine...nope!

The result was a gooey, nasty blob of semi-soft macaroni all clumped together. My roommates made a brave show of trying to choke down the ruined soup but it was awful. They were very nice about it, though and didn't give me the verbal lashing and ridicule that I so richly deserved.
 

---

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
My mother would do the same - except I think she accepted that cabbage only needed 30 or 40 minutes...

---

My MIL pressure cooked all her vegetables. That included cabbage which was pressure cooked for about 15 minutes till it was a mass of slimy grey mush.
 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 
Communal cooking - I did experience one episode where the rice was cooked in an excess of water (i.e. you're off to a bad start) then kept warm by leaving it in the excess hot water.

It was rice soup by the time it was served.

Mashed potato salad? Mashed?


 

---

Posted by Karl: Liberal Backslider (# 76) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lothlorien:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Firenze:
My mother would do the same - except I think she accepted that cabbage only needed 30 or 40 minutes...

---

My MIL pressure cooked all her vegetables. That included cabbage which was pressure cooked for about 15 minutes till it was a mass of slimy grey mush.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by balaam:
... is it time to put the sprouts on for Christmas?

---

Absolutely. In fact, you're several months behind ...
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:
Oh, small tangent- this mac'n'cheese that seems to be all over every hip menu like a rash- am I right in thinking that it is nothing more or less than what we in the UK have always known as macaroni cheese, a slightly dowdy Sunday supper comfort food dish which, when made with not quite enough cheese, used to appear in Barbara Pym's novels as a portent of an awkward evening?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:
Oh, small tangent- this mac'n'cheese that seems to be all over every hip menu like a rash- am I right in thinking that it is nothing more or less than what we in the UK have always known as macaroni cheese, a slightly dowdy Sunday supper comfort food dish which, when made with not quite enough cheese, used to appear in Barbara Pym's novels as a portent of an awkward evening?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Wild Organist:
Worst meals? Anything that Meals on Wheels serve. The current people have lost the contract and it's going back to the even worse sort. I pity my father but can't do a thing about it, not being a brilliant cook myself and working at two jobs. He's still alive, though, so they must be edible. They just look recycled.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lord Jestocost:
I will humbly add the trifle we once, ahem, enjoyed where the cook had assumed those round, dark, approximately grape-sized things in a bowl in the fridge where indeed grapes, rather than the olives they in fact turned out to be.

---

I once made fruit cake with any dried fruit I could find in the cupboard, not realising the dried prunes were salted ...
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
A friend yesterday reminded me of Mama's fish lasagne and I've been shuddering on and off ever since.
 

---

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :
 
When I was a kid, my next door bff tried making fudge. I've heard of fudge crystalizing, but this was remarkable: the stuff turned out with the looks and consistency of dark brown obsidian. Interesting hard chocolate candy, but fudge it wasn't.
 

---

Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
<snip>I'm always a bit nervous of "triple cooked chips" ever since my first experience of these in an office canteen where they were done like this:

1) 8 am, start cooking chips. When done, leave aside to cool until needed.
2) 12 pm, re-heat chips by dunking them into deep fat fryer.
3) 1.30 pm, if anyone comes in wanting chips, take what's left and dunk them into the deep fat fryer again. Serve immediately, with small saw and hammer and several layers of greaseproof napkins.<snip>

---

Good chips are fried *twice* at two different temperatures, and there's no harm in leaving them for a few hours between (e.g. see here), but the third frying to reheat is a no-no.
 

---

Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 
Many, many years ago, in the hiatus between Christmas and the New Year when we were living almost solely on leftovers out of the fridge, we had unexpected guests to lunch. We had been planning to finish up some left over cream of chicken soup, and my mother proposed trying to "stretch" it by adding something from the store cupboard. She couldn't understand my horror at her plan to add a can of condensed Campbell's Oxtail soup .....

I did in the end manage to convince her to desist.
 

---

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
Probably would have been edible. When I worked in a day center for homeless people every eneing we'd do two huge panss of soup, using donated cans- one meat, one not- the first 30 (or however many) cans in each category that came to hand. It was usually OK if not always especially exciting.
 

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Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :
 
Everyone knows that it is possible to use left over waffles to make sandwiches right? There's a substance called "sandwich spread", which mother could stick the canned sardines to in the sandwich. If you take this too school, you need to eat this outside away from people. Or just steal someone else's lunch.
 

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Posted by Cathscats (# 17827) on :
 
As an enthusiastic student, my brother invented Hawaiian potatoes - spuds mashed with pineapple juice. They only had one airing.....

Then there was the strawberry ice cream my mother made. It was rock hard. We tried leaving it out for ten minutes first, then for twenty, then for an hour. In the end she left it in the utility room sink and three days later there was no change!
 

---

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by no prophet's flag is set so...:
Everyone knows that it is possible to use left over waffles to make sandwiches right? There's a substance called "sandwich spread", which mother could stick the canned sardines to in the sandwich. If you take this too school, you need to eat this outside away from people. Or just steal someone else's lunch.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Albertus:
And while we're on the subject of fish, tinned pilchards. With anything. Nasty lumps of vaguely fishy mashed cardboard in a watery tomato sauce. Tinned sardines, definitely; tinned anchovies, mackerel fillets, etc, likewise; but tinned pilchards- no, never.

---

I thought a a tin of pilchards was the food of emperors, and a guaranteed way to attract women?

Remember, you are never alone with a pilchard!

[ 21. October 2015, 09:53: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
 

---

Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
Somehow I'd never seen that before. Wonderful- thank you!
 

---

Posted by Niminypiminy (# 15489) on :
 
A pie cooked by my mother. It had various left-over vegetables in it from the many small bowls of left-overs in her fridge. There may have been swede. There were certainly baked beans.

When I say pie, you are probably thinking of something covered with pastry, or perhaps mashed potato.

Not cabbage.

This pie had been topped with cabbage leaves which had been spread over the top before putting in the oven, so by the time I ate it they were slightly burned.
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Thanks for the link, I'd forgotten the matchless line Remember, you're never alone with a pilchard.

It also brought back to mind one of the more revolting meals of my childhood - pilchard pie: underneath layer of pilchards in tomato sauce into which had been mixed a can of creamed sweetcorn, then a layer of mash with some leftover parsley sauce, topped off with salt and vinegar potato crisps

Deciding to finish off the meal with strawberry junket was the final straw.
 

---

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.

It must be the sauce they come in.
 

---

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :
 
I remember the first time I was served shrimp cocktail. It seemed like I was chewing on someone's fingers. Ditto for the second time. I've never eaten shrimp again.
 

---

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pomona:
Mac and cheese is just the American for macaroni cheese.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.

It must be the sauce they come in.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Penny S:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pomona:
Mac and cheese is just the American for macaroni cheese.

---

And this isn't America, so why change? That which we call macaroni cheese is just as delicious. So why change? And if changing, why not to macaroni and cheese to fit in with our West Indian community? It is the undemanded language shift I was not happy about.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pomona:
Macaroni and cheese is also used in the US. And I am quite aware that it's not America, but the US terminology is being used because it's being served in the US way, ie as a side to soul food/US style BBQ etc.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

I expect, any day now, "cauli'n'cheese" to appear on menus (which must surely be one of the most revolting dishes known to humanity. Yet it persists).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Penny S:
...
I'm developing fogeyism.

---

Right there with you.
 

---

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
A painful memory of cuisine écossaise is deep fried pizza. Can someone please assure me that it doesn't exist outside chip shops? Deep fried haggis, on the other hand, is not so bad.
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Has anyone tried the famous deep-fried Mars Bar? I did once out of curiosity when on holiday in Portsmouth. One bite was enough. If you like your Mars Bars half melted into greasy, crisp batter, this is for you.

Come to think of it, the Stilton ice-cream I once had at a food fair was something else I wouldn't want to repeat. But if you like frozen sweet cheese, this may be right up your street.
 

---

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
Has anyone tried the famous deep-fried Mars Bar? I did once out of curiosity when on holiday in Portsmouth. One bite was enough. If you like your Mars Bars half melted into greasy, crisp batter, this is for you.

---

quote:

---

Come to think of it, the Stilton ice-cream I once had at a food fair was something else I wouldn't want to repeat. But if you like frozen sweet cheese, this may be right up your street.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pomona:
Macaroni and cheese is also used in the US. And I am quite aware that it's not America, but the US terminology is being used because it's being served in the US way, ie as a side to soul food/US style BBQ etc.

---

I wish you'd come and tell our local pubs that - they feature it as a main meal.

I expect, any day now, "cauli'n'cheese" to appear on menus (which must surely be one of the most revolting dishes known to humanity. Yet it persists).

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:

I expect, any day now, "cauli'n'cheese" to appear on menus (which must surely be one of the most revolting dishes known to humanity. Yet it persists).

---

If you don't like cauliflower or cheese, or have a particular aversion to cooked cheese, that is undoubtedly so. I enjoy it, but we usually have it with sausages and Mrs Sioni is an uncommonly good cook.

---

My eldest son says the only reason for the creation of cauliflower is for it to become cauliflower with cheese sauce. I love it but love cauliflower in its many incarnations. Cauliflower cheese is winter comfort food for my family.
 

---

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Most of the brassicae are good but cauliflower is wonderful! We don't have it enough here. Cauliflower cheese is probably not something that would appeal to Himself and Herself but, hey, that would mean I'd have to eat it all!


 

---

Posted by basso (# 4228) on :
 
I like the brassicas when cooked, but I'll give them a pass when raw.

Cauliflower is wonderful roasted - something I learned from Amazing Grace.

I'm surprised we got to page 3 before somebody mentioned lutefisk. I've heard Kelly's lutefisk story, and I thought of it when I saw the thread.
 

---

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
I wish you'd come and tell our local pubs that - they feature it as a main meal.

---

quote:

---

I expect, any day now, "cauli'n'cheese" to appear on menus (which must surely be one of the most revolting dishes known to humanity. Yet it persists).

---

I've never really seen the point of cauliflower. To my mind, it's a vegetable suitable for eating if you can't obtain tasty vegetables.

Still, I suppose if you have a person who likes both cauliflower and covering random foodstuffs in a cheese sauce, it's reasonable to have them get it all out of their system in one dish, which you can then avoid
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
I've never really seen the point of cauliflower. To my mind, it's a vegetable suitable for eating if you can't obtain tasty vegetables.

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Originally posted by Ariel:

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Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
I've never really seen the point of cauliflower. To my mind, it's a vegetable suitable for eating if you can't obtain tasty vegetables.

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Quite. It may possibly have some flavour of its own but as it usually seems to be boiled to soft blandness it's hard to tell. I suspect the cheese is the main attraction of cauli'n'cheese.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
Tinned pilchards are of Satan though.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
We once, and only one, bought Stilton with Port chocolates. Maybe the Belgians or French can do it, but not this place in Cardiff.

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Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
I've never really seen the point of cauliflower. To my mind, it's a vegetable suitable for eating if you can't obtain tasty vegetables.

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Originally posted by Penny S:
Has anyone tried cauliflower rice - ie, cauliflower broken into its smallest fractal pieces, cooked and served instead of the carbs part of the meal? I haven't, though I like cauli enough to grow it.

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Originally posted by Erik:
This thread has reminded me of a meal from my student days. My room-mate had heard of steak and ale stew. We had some chicken and he decided that Guinness was close enough. There may be ways of making a good sauce from Guinness but pouring it into a pan with some chicken and leeks and leaving it to cook for about an hour is not it.

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I'm pretty sure that Carbonnade Flamande works with Guinness.

It's a Nigella recipe, but none the worse for that and variations exist.
 

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Posted by Albertus (# 13356) on :
 
Yes. And Mrs A used to make a pretty good mushroom pie which involved Guinness.
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Yes - steak, mushroom and Guinness pie has long been one of my very favourite things. The difference is that steak can take the darker, stronger flavour of Guinness better than chicken, which usually has a more delicate flavour. Also, the Guinness needs to be mellowed a bit by other ingredients when used in cooking. If Erik's friend had diluted it a bit with stock and seasoning it might have been a happier story.

But that's student cooking for you: those days of happy experimentation
 

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Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 

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Originally posted by Ariel:

quote:

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Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:
I've never really seen the point of cauliflower. To my mind, it's a vegetable suitable for eating if you can't obtain tasty vegetables.

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Quite. It may possibly have some flavour of its own but as it usually seems to be boiled to soft blandness it's hard to tell. I suspect the cheese is the main attraction of cauli'n'cheese.

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Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
A painful memory of cuisine écossaise is deep fried pizza. Can someone please assure me that it doesn't exist outside chip shops? Deep fried haggis, on the other hand, is not so bad.

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Originally posted by Ricardus:

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Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
A painful memory of cuisine écossaise is deep fried pizza. Can someone please assure me that it doesn't exist outside chip shops? Deep fried haggis, on the other hand, is not so bad.

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According to Wikipedia, it exists in Italy as well, especially in Naples.

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Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
One thing I am adamant about is that brassicae should never be boiled - sometimes they can be lightly steamed but mostly a quick saute is enough. No wonder they are tasteless if boiled, all the goodness is then in the water!

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Originally posted by Ricardus:

quote:

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Originally posted by Stercus Tauri:
A painful memory of cuisine écossaise is deep fried pizza. Can someone please assure me that it doesn't exist outside chip shops? Deep fried haggis, on the other hand, is not so bad.

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According to Wikipedia, it exists in Italy as well, especially in Naples.

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Originally posted by Erik:
This thread has reminded me of a meal from my student days. My room-mate had heard of steak and ale stew. We had some chicken and he decided that Guinness was close enough. There may be ways of making a good sauce from Guinness but pouring it into a pan with some chicken and leeks and leaving it to cook for about an hour is not it.

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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
The Arizona State Fair is going on right now (I haven't gone to it in many years). All sorts of strange foods are sold, but especially anything deep-fried. Here are a few highlights from this year's Fair.

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.

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Welease Woderwick: Macaroni cheese made with Gorgonzola and cream sauce is a Yes, please, again as often as you like meal!

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Originally posted by Firenze:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.

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There's a State Fair in Arizona waiting to hear from you.

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Originally posted by LeRoc:

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Welease Woderwick: Macaroni cheese made with Gorgonzola and cream sauce is a Yes, please, again as often as you like meal!

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One of my favourites.

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It's a close relative of a sauce made with Philadelphia cheese. Last time I made it I ended up in the hospital with a gall bladder screaming to get out. Danish blue is slightly more benign and tastes very good (add a little onion, parsley and red pepper flakes).
 

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Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 
LOL, the fact that I've lived in countries all over the world means that I've got a reasonably strong stomach Thank you for your ingredient suggestions. One thing I also like to put in is champignons.

Coming back to the subject of this thread, last week they didn't have Gorgonzola in the co-op, so I made it with camomzola? It was advertised as a mix between Camembert and Gorgonzola. Don't. Just don't.
 

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Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :
 

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Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

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Originally posted by Firenze:

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Originally posted by North East Quine:
Not a meal, but a fairy cake. Never make icing for a fairy cake by boiling Irn-Bru down to a syrupy reduction and then beating in icing sugar. I've got a sweet tooth, but it was off-the-scale in sickly sweetness.

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There's a State Fair in Arizona waiting to hear from you.

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But you need to deep-fry it.

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Originally posted by Jengie jon:
Let's just start wiht this attempt.

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Urgh nooooo.
 

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Posted by LutheranChik (# 9826) on :
 
Charmed by the photo of a delicious-looking chocolate cake on the back of my mayonnaise jar, I once attempted to make the accompanying recipe, which called for about a cup of mayonnaise. It was, I think, the worst baked good I have ever made. After sampling the finished product, it went directly from pan to trash. I hate wasting chocolate.

[ 27. October 2015, 01:32: Message edited by: LutheranChik ]
 

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Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
Yesterday I took two perfectly good cans of soup, and added a packet of 'soup mix' lentils-and-stuff which I found in the back of the cupboard,and which looked like something my mate added to some soup last week, and which was kind of nice and healthy-looking.

The bits stayed rock hard for about the first hour of simmering, and then started to soften. Me and the kids started to chew, until eldest suggested running it through the blender.

Then it was too thick and stalled the blender, so we added boiling water (youngest, in despair, 'but then there'll be more!').

In the end we had massive bowls of hot, vegetable-derived, grey, saturated starch solution. The kids (8 and 10) had never seen me not finish a meal before, having only heard of such an event in family lore involving deep-fried pizza and a stretchy battered sausage. We all felt weird, all afternoon.

The packet went out of date in 2010, but hey, it's dried food right?
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
<narrows eyes> The soup mix needed to go on about last Tuesday along with some bony, fatty bits from from an elderly but athletic sheep. After a day or so, you can add leeks, neeps and tatties. The resultant slurry can be further enlivened with shredded kale. Welcome to Scotch Broth.

[ 27. October 2015, 13:11: Message edited by: Firenze ]
 

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Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
Firenze, thanks for your advice. I can't help but notice you reside in the city where the aforementioned deep-fried pizza incident took place. But thanks for the advice .
 

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Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
I'll echo Firenze, soup mix, especially five years out of date soup mix, needs to be cooked in flavoured water (aka stock) for an hour or more. The older the dried ingredients the more hours. I would add some vegetables, but possibly not until I'd made sure the lentils were softening. Tinned soup already has thickening, so doesn't have the required spare flavoured water to rehydrate and soften the pearl barley, lentils and whatever else has been added.

(You can cook up soup mix in enough water with a stock cube, stock or can of tomatoes with added water, something to add taste and make a purée to use for a veggie base for a fake meat loaf or veggie rissoles, it's that sort of stodge and it's why I have it in the cupboard - emergency food.)
 

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Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
Indeed, soup mix needs a good long simmering - and that after it has soaked overnight in plain water and been rinsed. You can then do all sorts of things with it if you like. It's strange but true that long cooking in a slow cooker is not a way to deal with it until it has been soaked and simmered. The same for any dry pulse.
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Like GeeD I soak soup mix overnight in plain water, then rinse it before using.

Edited to add - the fact that it was out of date wouldn't bother me.

[ 27. October 2015, 16:11: Message edited by: North East Quine ]
 

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Posted by mark_in_manchester (# 15978) on :
 
Well folks, I have one packet left (of slightly more recent vintage, but only slightly) so thanks for your advice!

It was really hard chucking the last lot in the green recycling bin - not least it spurred me to rake up all the leaves in the front yard, so as to give it something to soak in to. I almost suggested elder kid use it to finish a papier- mache-head-project which has been hanging around for a while. And my kitchen needs re-papering...
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
Anything like that can only ever be improved by soaking for hours beforehand.

Well, sometimes. There was the time I bought some white beans to make ful medammas and soaked them overnight. And then soaked them some more. And cooked them. For twice as long as the recipe said because at every stage they were still hard and crunchy.

And then they went into the blender and became a thick sludge which was diluted with water and flavoured with spices, and it was still horrible and full of tiny crunchy bits. The only thing to do was throw it away.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Reminds me of a dish I tried to make with dried chickpeas - Lead Shot Stew. I've since switched to tinned never mind the bright Nigella exhortations that it will only take a few minutes to soak them the night before/put them on to boil for six hours.
 

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Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :
 
You can never overcook chickpeas, while it's hard to undercook lentils. If pulses are beyond their use-by date, just cook them longer. I suppose there is a time that they are just too dry to cook, but I'll bet that there was no use-by on those bought in markets in ancient times.
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Use by dates on bottled water amuse me. I was recently told off by my children for drinking water that had been sitting in my bedside glass for a couple of days. Our water is fluorided by the local council so it always tastes better when left for a while. My progeny would be hopeless relying on a tank of water on a farm or a barrel of water on a boat. Fresh water is apparently not fresh water any more unless it is stamped with a date. Never mind the fact that the water we drink has already been recycled many times through dinosaur stomachs, fish guts, atmospheric events, silt, soil and pipes that have god-knows-what in them.

I must be getting old.
BL. Feeling out of date.
 

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Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :
 
Reviving this after being too busy five weeks ago.

#1 Tête de veau. (1964) Cousin and I arrived in Avignon late when only one cheap restaurant was still open, and only dish left was tête de veau. Pinky-grey rubbery-jellyish chunks in what was actually a nice garlic sauce. We managed about half. Supercilious young waiter didn't want to take our plates until we finished the lot, but there was no way.

#2 Wedding cake. (1958). Yes, it was a really nice cake. Starting at a school in Essex at the same time as a French assistante. A colleague who had been married during the holiday had brought some of his wedding cake to share. French lass was gobsmacked to find us eating cake that was 6-8 weeks old. These strange English culinary customs!

GG
 

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Posted by Dee. (# 5681) on :
 
Had a pasta disaster a few months ago when with bareish cupboards I made a pasta side dish but adding a jar of [named] 3 cheese sauce to some penne.

The resultant abomination was binned, even my 12 year old son who will eat just about anything looked almost teary with relief when I announced it was to vile to consume. The ex flatmate who had left the jar of sauce was later accused of culinary terrorism since that stuff was like having an unexploded taste bomb in the kitchen.

(Name removed pending hostly discussion)

[ 04. December 2015, 11:40: Message edited by: Firenze ]
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Ready made cheesy sauces are pretty nasty. Mrs S once bought a tub of alleged "Carbonara" sauce for me as a favour. Now, I like carbonara, but I have certain standards: lots of eggs, extra yolks, cream and the right cheese plus pepper (no salt, you have pancetta too) but this gloppy mess was awful. No part of it could ever have seen the inside of a hen and I doubt much was familiar with a cow either. It was terrible.
 

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Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
If you're going to have a jar of pasta sauce in the cupboard, tomato based is safest.
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Partly down to a food intolerance, but also taste, I always make pasta sauce from scratch. I find that pancetta (or bacon) plus mushrooms makes a good sauce with the addition of some mascarpone, garlic and black pepper.
 

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Posted by Yangtze (# 4965) on :
 

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Originally posted by Galloping Granny:

#1 Tête de veau. (1964) Cousin and I arrived in Avignon late when only one cheap restaurant was still open, and only dish left was tête de veau. Pinky-grey rubbery-jellyish chunks in what was actually a nice garlic sauce. We managed about half.
GG

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Oh lordy, my brother and I ordered that in a restaurant in France when we were children - for some reason either we or our parents had picked up on the 'veau' (veal) part without really thinking about the 'tete' (head) part. It still sticks in my mind as one of the most inedible meals I've ever attempted to eat.
 

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Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Arriving late at a French hotel (Le Touquet) after a long drive c.1965, we were hungry. My mother and ordered shellfish - I can't remember what they were, shrimps or prawns. (My father and I had other food).

They arrived in a huge tureen: each one was tiny and still in its shell. They took ages to eat and I think it was one of those meals where you consume more calories than you ingest.

A year or two later, in the south of France, we stopped for lunch at a restaurant and ordered the set lunch. We hadn't realised that the cuisine was North African: dish after dish arrived, was prodded and tasted, and was then rejected. Today I love North African food - but it was new to us then.

[ 04. December 2015, 15:58: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Ah, France... Many years ago, on a tour of Brittany, two Norn Irish girls used to having our tea at six. My friend ordered crab (expecting something in the nature of a fishcake): I can remember yet the smirk with which the waitress set down the entire beast and a couple of weird-fangled knitting needles.
 

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Posted by Dee. (# 5681) on :
 
Yeah,

I usually make both my cheese and tomato based pasta sauces from scratch. That jar of sauce was a once only, never again experience.

[ 04. December 2015, 20:32: Message edited by: Dee. ]
 

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Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on :
 
Re: wedding cake. For a friend's wedding, her gran baked two cakes a sponge top and a fruit cake bottom, and my mother iced and decorated them. The bottom was kept as per tradition for the baptism of the 1st child (11 months later) to be re-iced. This shouldn't be a problem if the cake is sufficiently boozy and well wrapped. Turns out no alcohol was used and on chipping off the icing the cake was entirely green. I had to make a last minute mercy dash to Morrisons for half a dozen Dundee cakes. We never told Granny that it wasn't the original.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Some years ago we were sent a piece of wedding cake from a strictly vegan wedding. We left the opened package out on the kitchen work surface overnight, only to find it had been gnawed by a mouse. We knew this because the little furry corpse was lying stiff and cold next to it.
 

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Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :
 
A Chinese wedding banquet in New York... It was a wonderful experience for all who like that style of cuisine. For anyone who gets sick on seafood, it was twelve courses of mostly, "No thank you" and the utter contempt of the waitresses, then leaving after three hours, starving. I'd have let it recede into deep memory if we hadn't got an invitation today to another one just like it. A multi racial extended family is mostly a great joy...
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Otoh, you're less likely to be served some of the things which turn up in Chinese banquets in China. Like an aperitif which was a phial of vinegar. Or the local noodles in broth which was exactly like squares of slime in a bowl of snot. Or boiled coca cola. Or duck brains on the half shell.
 

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Posted by Moo (# 107) on :
 

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Originally posted by Firenze:
Some years ago we were sent a piece of wedding cake from a strictly vegan wedding. We left the opened package out on the kitchen work surface overnight, only to find it had been gnawed by a mouse. We knew this because the little furry corpse was lying stiff and cold next to it.

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

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Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.

It must be the sauce they come in.

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It's the tins. In Cornwall they catch pilchards but sell them as sardines. Brush them with oil and lemon, BBQ them and they are delicious.

Tinned pilchards are of Satan though.

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Originally posted by Alex Cockell:

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Originally posted by Sioni Sais:

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Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
I really dislike pilchards. Yet I like sardines.

It must be the sauce they come in.

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It's the tins. In Cornwall they catch pilchards but sell them as sardines. Brush them with oil and lemon, BBQ them and they are delicious.

Tinned pilchards are of Satan though.

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Weren't they a compo staple, along with cheese possessed?

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Originally posted by Pomona:
Pressure cookers mean you can cook beans from dried in 30 minutes, and then freeze them - fantastic. My best friend got a marvellous electronic combi pressure/rice/slow cooker from QVC of all places, a few years ago now and still going strong. She's vegan so eats a lot of beans and pulses.

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Originally posted by Albertus:
D'you know, I could just eat that now. Sometimes I even surprise myself.

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