Ship of Fools: Are you saved?

Thread: Are you saved? Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Evensong (# 14696) on :

I've been trying to Google some funny and witty responses to the question "Are you saved"? and have come up with only one:

Q)) Are you saved?
A) Damned if I'm not!

I'm kind of thinking along these kind of lines too:

Q) How are you?
1) My lawyer says I don't have to answer that question.
2) Look left and right and say "Why, what have you heard?"
3) I am fantastic and feeling astonishingly glorious!

Or one I came up with :

Q) Are you saved?
A) Yep. Clicked on the icon

You got one?

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

No. But I'm invested.

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

I saw a sign outside a Church saying,

"Jesus saves, Romans 5:1"

I thought "For people who believe in God, they don't have much faith in his son with odds like that."

Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :

Q)) Are you saved?
A) Fuck, yes!

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

I once answered the question "After you die, do you think you will go to Heaven or to Hell?" with "Undoubtedly the latter. But at least the beer will be better."

(I was rather proud of this one. I usually suck at finding good ad hoc answers to these questions, only thinking of what I should have said afterwards [Smile]

)

[ 19. October 2015, 08:22: Message edited by: LeRoc ]

Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :

Q: Are you saved?

A: No, it gets too itchy.

(Pause)

Oh, saved ...

Posted by BroJames (# 9636) on :

Q. Have you found, Jesus?

A. I don't know he was lost.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

Q. Have you been converted?

A. What, to North Sea gas?

For the uninitiated (or those who are just plain Too Young), when they discovered gas in the North Sea in the 60s/early 70s, people had to have their systems "converted" to run on it.

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

Or that old favourite, well-known to readers of Adrian Plass:

Q: Do you have assurance?
A: Yes, I'm with the Woolwich.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Or going back even further...

Jesus saves - but St John* scores on the rebound.

*Ian St John. Obviously.

Posted by Oscar the Grouch (# 1916) on :

quote:
Originally posted by BroJames:
Q. Have you found, Jesus?

A. I don't know he was lost.

My favourite is this:

I found Jesus!
(He was hiding behind the curtains)

Posted by Anglicano (# 18476) on :

"Jesus saves"

-----------------------------

".....and Keegan scores from the rebound". 1970's graffiti, England.

Posted by Spike (# 36) on :

Jesus saves. Moses invests.

Posted by Mere Nick (# 11827) on :

Jesus saves but George Nelson withdraws.

Posted by roybart (# 17357) on :

Jesus saves ... at the Vatican Bank.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Jesus saves. We're trying to get him into therapy for that hoarding problem.

Posted by alienfromzog (# 5327) on :

When asked if he was saved, St Adrian of Plass apparently answered with "I am a member of the MCC"
"I fail to see how that will help you on the Last Day" replied the questioner
"Madam, membership of the Marylebone Cricket Club always guarantees one entrance the the Lords enclosure"

[Snigger]

Feel free to groan.

AFZ

Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :

Jesus saves. He also backs up all his work on a USB key.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Oscar the Grouch:
... (He was hiding behind the curtains)

Like this?

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

Then there's the classic

"Jesus saves S&H Green Stamps."

[Smile]

Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :

quote:
Originally posted by alienfromzog:
When asked if he was saved, St Adrian of Plass apparently answered with "I am a member of the MCC"
"I fail to see how that will help you on the Last Day" replied the questioner
"Madam, membership of the Marylebone Cricket Club always guarantees one entrance the the Lords enclosure"

Feel free to groan.

AFZ

...and here was me thinking Metropolitan Community Church

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