Thread: Getting Hitched 2015 Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.


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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
I haven't found a weddings thread for this year, so thought I'd start one - my very lovely boyfriend is now my very lovely fiancé instead and we're getting married in October. The provisional date is actually Halloween, suggestions of a themed wedding have so far gone like this:
Me: We could have costumes!
Him: Ok, how about you come dressed as a bride and I come dressed as a groom?

He is more serious-minded than I am. I'm not sure I would really do it, but it could be fun.

Anyone else? Or any tips for wedding planning? (NB, I am familiar with the Crappy Choruses etc thread and none of the horrors feature in our possibles list, especially not that awful one which appears to confuse Jesus with Michael Flatley)
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
Congratulations and best wishes, Scots lass and lovely fiancé!

 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Congratulations, Scots lass and Chap!
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Congrats from over here, too.

How about a Rocky Horror wedding with you two sensibly dressed as Brad and Janet and the crowd dressed as the other characters. Invite Pete over to play Dr von Scott - I'm sure he'd look splendid in Fishnets!
 

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Posted by ChastMastr (# 716) on :
 
Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :
 
Congratulations to you and your partner Scots Lass.

I love his answer to your suggestion.
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
Congratulations, Scots lass!

Number 3 of our four daughters is getting married this October too. It's a bit of a logistical nightmare as we are here in Kenya and her eldest sister, husband and children are in NZ. Somehow we will all make it back to the UK and it will all come together......

All the best with your planning and preparation, hope it's fun!
 

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Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Congratulations Scots Lass - brilliant news.
 

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Posted by To The Pain (# 12235) on :
 
Congratulations!

I recommend Offbeat Bride for planning resources - lots of inspiration, helpful suggestions for dealing with people, copy-and-paste conflict resolution and a very supportive community that is resistant to the special-snowflake-spend-all-the-moneys school of wedding planning.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Huia:
... I love his answer to your suggestion.

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[tangent]
When we lived in Orkney, a couple of my (not-entirely-sane) colleagues decided they would put on a small-scale version of Up Helly Aa, complete with singing procession* and burning long-boat. Guests were invited to dress as Vikings; D., being a bit of a party-pooper, came in a jacket and tie and said he was coming as a Viking bank manager ...
[/tangent]

* Nobody actually knew the Up Helly Aa song, so (as one of the organisers came from Yorkshire) we sang On Ilkley Moor instead.

[ 25. February 2015, 13:39: Message edited by: Piglet ]
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Yay!!

Two months today for me, and I don’t know whether to go or I think everything’s mostly under control.

We gave ourselves ten months to get everything ready, and it’s really not too long, especially because we’re organising everything from a distance. I know there are people who do everything in three months, but that sound crazy stressful to me.

Our main snags had to do with clothes. For example, my mother is fulfilling one of her life’s ambitions and saving me a lot of wonga by making my dress (she says it should be finished this week ). When we made a sample before starting on the final dress we discovered it really, really didn’t fit – the pattern is from the 1950s, in the days of very squeezy undergarments before women’s lib and the waist was about 6 inches in circumference. We’ve been able to use it, but it needed some very major, extremely time-consuming adjustment (hurrah for best friend en rouge, who is a professional pattern cutter!!). Equally, fiancé en rouge’s suit is currently running about two months late. Because we had time, neither of these have been major catastrophes, but if we’d been on a three-months timescale, it would have been a nightmare. Give yourself enough time for stuff to go wrong.

Making a budget and sticking to it is boring but extremely necessary. All the advice that I have read says that starting out married life by getting into debt is a mahoosively bad idea. Also plan for everything to be more expensive than you thought it would be (that way, if you’re wrong, it’s a nice surprise). Figure out what you really want and are prepared to spend money on, and also the stuff that you don’t care about all that much even if everyone says you’re “supposed” to have it. Be yourself. Have a good time. Don’t try to make it perfect because it won’t be. But it will be awesome.
 

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Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
Congratulations!

I have two pieces of advice:

1. Wear comfortable shoes. You will be on your feet for quite a long time.

2. If you are having a traditional Scottish wedding with ceilidh, check that you can do the Eightsome Reel and the Gay Gordons in your wedding dress (and shoes). Unless of course you are planning to get changed before the dancing starts: I know of one bride who made a wedding dress with a built-in ripcord. After the wedding breakfast she pulled the cord, and hey presto! her full-length wedding dress became knee-length, perfect for dancing in.

Actually, three pieces of advice:

3. If anything goes wrong on the big day, console yourself with the thought that it will make a great story to tell your grandchildren (or someone else's grandchildren, if you don't have any).

[ 25. February 2015, 15:52: Message edited by: Jane R ]
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
My congratulations to you too!

quote:

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Originally posted by Jane R:

3. If anything goes wrong on the big day, console yourself with the thought that it will make a great story to tell your grandchildren (or someone else's grandchildren, if you don't have any).

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quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
(NB, I am familiar with the Crappy Choruses etc thread and none of the horrors feature in our possibles list, especially not that awful one which appears to confuse Jesus with Michael Flatley)

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quote:

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Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:
But isn't it a good idea to choose the obvious (and possibly crappy) hymns simply because your non-churchgoing guests might actually know them?

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NO!


(Just my humble opinion...)
 

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Posted by Ariston (# 10894) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
(NB, I am familiar with the Crappy Choruses etc thread and none of the horrors feature in our possibles list, especially not that awful one which appears to confuse Jesus with Michael Flatley)

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But isn't it a good idea to choose the obvious (and possibly crappy) hymns simply because your non-churchgoing guests might actually know them?

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quote:

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Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
(NB, I am familiar with the Crappy Choruses etc thread and none of the horrors feature in our possibles list, especially not that awful one which appears to confuse Jesus with Michael Flatley)

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But isn't it a good idea to choose the obvious (and possibly crappy) hymns simply because your non-churchgoing guests might actually know them?

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Lots of our mutual friends are church-goers, and we loathe some of the obvious ones that we did in primary school. I know people pick them because they're familiar, but I'd rather our guests sang something I like - they're not going to be terribly obscure!

Thank you for all the congratulations and suggestions! (possibly the only time I might use that)

Jane R mentioned shoes - I have survived an incredibly fast Strip the Willow whilst wearing 3 or 4" stilettos, so as long as they're reasonably comfy I should be fine! (Yes, comfortable heels are possible for me) When I start dress shopping I'll remember to make sure I can dance in that too!

I love the sound of la vie en rouge's 1950s dress - no-one I know sews well enough to do that for me, but there are some shops which do that sort of thing which is high on my list to visit! Also very tempted by the Up Helly Aa idea...
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Congratulations.

Service suggestions: choose the version of words you're most comfortable with. As for hymns, since you have friends who're churchgoers you should have a fairly wide selection from which to choose.

In and out music : if in doubt, ask the organist.

The day itself: don't throw money at it because your friends will be happy with a cup of tea and the accompanying bun (or slice of cake) will be a bonus.

Above all, don't get hung up on the idea of perfection, just make it the day you'll be happy with and all will be well.
 

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Posted by SvitlanaV2 (# 16967) on :
 
Scots lass

If many of your friends are familiar with church music then you can choose from a far wider range of hymns. You're very fortunate.

Good luck with everything!

[ 25. February 2015, 18:34: Message edited by: SvitlanaV2 ]
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:

I love the sound of la vie en rouge's 1950s dress - no-one I know sews well enough to do that for me, but there are some shops which do that sort of thing which is high on my list to visit! Also very tempted by the Up Helly Aa idea...

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Like the idea of a Viking ship burial costumed in Dior's New Look. Horned helmets, nipped waists, full skirts and just the dinkiest of double-headed axes.
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
I would totally do that.
 

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Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :
 
Not for many years to come, I hope

If you can do Strip the Willow in 3-inch heels you are a better woman than I am... I always wear flat shoes for dancing. I mentioned shoes because I have vivid memories of dancing the Gay Gordons in the whole outfit - heels, wedding dress, veil - and nearly putting someone's eye out with the veil.

I had checked in advance that the shoes were suitable for dancing in, by dancing round the shop in them. It's the only time I managed to embarrass my mum so much she pretended she wasn't with me

[ 26. February 2015, 08:00: Message edited by: Jane R ]
 

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Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Congratulations!

Expect three things to go wrong on your wedding day, and laugh at them. They will become the stories you tell for the next fifty years. (Mine: couldn't find bra, was married without it; unknown guest in Bermuda shorts showed up and wandered through the pictures; stepfather taped World Wide Wrestling over wedding video by mistake)

Expect to have a huge fight with your fiancé during the pre-wedding period. This happens so often that when we were seeing a new couple through premarital counseling and wedding plans, we had it on a mental checklist for them ("has the fight happened yet?") and we got worried if no fight had broken out. (I think that happened ONCE, and we took it as a bad, bad sign.)

Look to the mundane, practical things. E.g. have someone save you a plate of food if you are in a culture where you spend the whole reception moving from table to table greeting everyone! Look at the calendar and see if you'll be on your period during your honeymoon . Plan for your comfort after wedding is over--I have a relative who brought his exhausted bride home to sleep in his shared studio apartment (was it on the floor or the couch? can't remember now). Mr. Clueless.
 

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Posted by Caissa (# 16710) on :
 
We didn't have a pre-wedding fight. Probably because I let Ms. C. do most of the planning especially since her father was footing the bill. I just asked her to tell me where to be and what to do. I find that's a good credo as a husband as well. We are coming up on 19 years in May.
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Congratulations, Scots Lass!

No pre-wedding fight here - I was too busy fighting with my mother.
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
My frock (the making of which I gather has shortened mother en rouge’s life by several years) is based on this one. It is in white lace (purchased for the princely sum of £3/metre) with a red sash. Not being floor length, I shall be showing of my red shoes (oh yes!) gloriously. All in all between the fabric and the pattern, I think the dress has cost about £80. Yay for my mother . I definitely wanted a vintage style one because it’s just more me than the strapless affairs that are everywhere at the minute. I kind of feel like it’s one day when you really ought to turn up looking like yourself.

If you don’t have a dressmaker in the vicinity, you could always go for an actual vintage one. I think I would have gone down this route had I not had a handy mother close by with her sewing machine. Some of these (shameless wedding dress porn), for example, are fabulous. They’re not cheap, but I think it’s still cheaper than buying a new dress of similar quality. The viability of this approach depends a lot on the size, of course (see my earlier problem with teeny-tiny miniscule waists).

On the subject of songs, we have the added complication that our guests speak two different languages. There is an old-fashioned hymn (All My Hope on God is Founded) and the English-speaking guests have been asked to Sing Loud™. I think some of the French people are going to be a bit flummoxed by it (there are other songs in French).
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
That dress looks gorgeous! And I am now shamelessly ogling the dress porn. Am terribly tempted by these guys but not sure my mum would like it.

Like NEQ, I appear to be disagreeing with my mum more than my fiancé - although it's early days and he and I may yet have a fight about it all!
 

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Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
For my cousin's wedding (I was sharing a flat with him at the time), I ended up good friends with his wife to be and went dress shopping with her in vintage shops. She bought a 20s dress, partly to go with the vintage Art Deco engagement ring, but partly because it suited her - she's tiny - even smaller than me. I still lech over that ring.

As well as moving out to make room for the fiancée, I made (I can't believe I did it now) the bridesmaids' dresses as my wedding present.
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Congratulations Scots Lass. I've started ogling those dresses too and I'm not remotely thinking about getting married. When we got married we'd been together for years and had a ten year old son, so everything was in theory going to be low key. We decided in the February and got married in the May. Though not exactly an enormous wedding I did end up in a proper frock (off the peg from Monsoon) and a tiara. If we'd waited any longer I think the wedding would have got bigger and bigger.
As to rows with my mother. She was 200 miles away at the time, which proably saved my sanity. She did think my very short hairstyle wasn't suitable and suggested I have extentions. Now of course she tells me I should have my hair 'cut in that nice short style again'. Basically you can't win with mothers.

[ 27. February 2015, 08:12: Message edited by: Sarasa ]
 

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Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
My friend Philip made wedding dresses for all three of his daughters.

An aeronautical engineer, he got into sewing when his wife got stuck making loose covers when they were first married. He reasoned that it was just DIY using 'soft' components, had a go and (after tweaking the pattern) produced the covers - which were amazing.

From there he moved to dressmaking and was a dab hand, making his own patterns, etc. I'm not sure of the technical wizardry behind it all, but certainly the dress for the youngest daughter, in particular, was a triumph - and he made dresses for the 6 bridesmaids and his wife as well!
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
congratualtions - and those 50's dresses look amazing - and never mind you mum (well not too much) it's your dress and your day....
 

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Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :
 
Congratulations! Have fun finding the dress of your dreams

quote:

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Originally posted by L'organist:
My friend Philip made wedding dresses for all three of his daughters.

An aeronautical engineer, he got into sewing when his wife got stuck making loose covers when they were first married. He reasoned that it was just DIY using 'soft' components, had a go and (after tweaking the pattern) produced the covers - which were amazing.

From there he moved to dressmaking and was a dab hand, making his own patterns, etc. I'm not sure of the technical wizardry behind it all, but certainly the dress for the youngest daughter, in particular, was a triumph - and he made dresses for the 6 bridesmaids and his wife as well!

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My husband is also an engineer and is an excellent dressmaker. Our wedding was Georgian themed and he made his own period waistcoat, trousers and jabot and wore them with a secondhand tailcoat. My bridemaid made my regency dress as I didn't sew in those days but now I make clothes for re-creations so it wouldn't be a problem for me either.
I'd say don't be afraid you wear something different, we caught the train from Liverpool Street (we got married in Bishopsgate) in full regency gear to go to our honeymoon cottage. People generously let us jump the taxi rank at the other end!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Alternatively if you’re after a bit of light relief, type some variation of “world’s ugliest wedding dresses” into Google and marvel at some of the things people have thought they looked good in...

It might also be good for a bit of subterfuge on your Mum: “I was thinking about this one*… oh you don’t like it? Well how about this one (shows cute 50s dress) instead?”

*this actually isn’t the worst offender that Google provides but it is kind of hilarious. I mean who on earth could this net curtain confection be flattering to??
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
I got my mum to make my wedding dress because, as I told her, she'd made all the best-fitting clothes I'd ever had. She was apprehensive at first (she never admitted to being half as good at things as she was), but she made a lovely job of it, and IIRC the total cost including lots of little strings of pearly things marking the seams (it was 1988 - that's my excuse) came to about £60. The shoes, which I sent away for, added another £60 or so, as I had them dyed to match the ivory colour of the dress, but even by the standards of the time, it wasn't an expensive outfit.

A few years later, a friend spent about three times that on a "mother-of-the-bride" hat ...
 

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Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :
 
Congratulations, Scots Lass and fiance!

We had about a year between engagement and wedding, but very conveniently I had my PhD fieldwork to do so I left the country for 6 months, until just under 3 months to go. Actually I definitely recommend leaving the country as a strategy to avoid Bridezilla/mumzilla/etc stress. We had sorted the important things (church, vicar, hotel, dress) plus a couple of less important things (such as paying a £10 deposit for the flowers) before I went, and everything else we just did ourselves. I think it really helped that we didn't have any kind of theme (colour or otherwise), so going shopping with my bridesmaid was easy as we just looked for a dress which suited her, and weren't hamstrung by having to find something in that exact shade of whatever colour. We didn't bother with a posh car (originally I was going to be driven to the church by a friend who had a half-decent car, but he was ill and in hospital so couldn't come, so I ended up being driven by my father-in-law instead), and we did the invitations and order of service booklets ourselves (got a picture put onto some Moo cards and stuck them on a bit of card. Sorted). And we put some music on an mp3 player and got our DJ friend to bring his amp, and just attached the two together for music afterwards.

I did buy a dress from a wedding dress shop (which was fun, but also a bit scary for someone as ungirly as me), so that wasn't as cheap as it could have been, but I got all my accessories elsewhere which helped. Jacket from New Look, and pump shoes from a shop which seemed to me to be the shoeshop equivalent of Claire's Accessories (I was the oldest person in there by decades!). A lovely friend (and shipmate) made my jewellery as her wedding gift. People are so very generous (and talented!), and weddings often bring out the generosity and talent in bucketloads.

One thing we did which I'm really glad about was have my laptop available at the reception, with a card reader attached. People could then download the photos they'd taken that day, and we were able to take them with us on honeymoon rather than having to wait several weeks for the official photos. I suppose it's the equivalent of the disposable cameras which were all the rage at every wedding I went to in the 1990s.
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
The thing I got wrong at my wedding was not realising how little time I'd have to speak to people. We got married early afternoon, and left at about 11pm, so we had about 10 hours, but more time than I'd appreciated was used up by e.g. photos and the sit-down meal. Then, once I was free to mingle, I kept getting asked up to dance. End result was that there were guests that I didn't speak to at all, which I regretted. I wish I'd had a plan, or a check list, or something, rather than just being swept along.
 

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Posted by The Kat in the Hat (# 2557) on :
 
I've often thought about have a 2nd wedding (to the same person, she added hastily) to do all the things that got forgotten about - like talking to everyone!
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
There is a temple town in Tamil Nadu where the temple specialises in second weddings - you go along with wife, kids and grandkids, etc. and renew your wedding vows - it's a great idea and everyone we met there was having so much fun! Grandkids playing tricks on grandparents and all - fabulous!
 

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Posted by Tukai (# 12960) on :
 
A thought for La Vie en Rouge about organising a wedding from afar, based on the experience of my daughter, who is a very organised person and savvy online. Allow yourself a week or so at the town where the wedding will take place. This allows you to check that everything really is OK, not just that the supplier of whatever says it is. She used this time to liase with key players, and even to bake the cake (at the home of one of the bridesmaid's parents! - said bridesmaid had just flown in from another continent.)

That way, you will be feeling less harassed and enjoy your wedding more. But above all remember that what really counts in your life will be the marriage (that lasts for years) rather than the ceremony (that lasts for hours) that kicks it off. Good luck with both of those phases!
 

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Posted by Little Miss Methodist (# 1000) on :
 
I got married in October last year and tried very hard to have as low key / inexpensive a wedding as possible.

Mr Methodist isn't religious so we had a registry office ceremony with nice secular readings and it was lovely. I honestly loved it and didn't feel that God wasn't there because it wasn't in a church - of course God is there...

We were determined that it shouldn't be too fussy, so invited only 54 people, had the reception in the private function room of a pub, had a buffet only and dj'd all the music ourselves via ipod. We did minimal speaches, the only flowers were the paper bouquet my sister made me, my Dad drove me to the ceremony in his car we made little favours ourselves and my other sister made our wedding cake. I loved everything about it, from the hand made feel to the intimacy, to the "normalcy" of everything. I honestly can't think of anything about the day that I would change.

One of the most important things for me was to make my wedding dress. Even as a little girl I always said I didn't care about the rest of the day as long as I had a lovely dress! I wanted something I could wear again and didn't want white, so my dress was green! It was based on a vintage pattern that I adapted and made out of silk that I scoured London for, as well as a spotty overlay that I ordered from china via etsy that was brilliant value. I think it cost around £150 all in to make. Have a gratuitous photo. I'm about to stab the book cake in that picture (coincidentally right through Julius Caesar). I made my husbands tie and waistcoat to match, and also knitted the socks he's wearing. The sash around my waist was my 'something old' and was made from my mothers wedding dress. You can't tell in the picture but the dress is tea length, so I wore fabulous shoes too...

I think the best advice I can give about weddings is to do it your way and make it authentic to you. We totally did that and i'm so pleased that we did. We also didn't fuss about making things 'absolutely perfect'. I caught myself trying to make everything the absolute best it could be for the day and gave myself a stern talking to and stopped - I never wear anything on my nails so I don't need a fussy manicure; my normal bra fits perfectly under my dress so I do not need special 'bridal lingerie'; i'm happy doing my makeup and will feel more 'me' so I don't want someone expensive doing that for me etc etc. The relief of not trying to push everything to be perfect but instead just trying to make the most of the day and enjoy it was huge.

Good luck to anyone getting married soon! Don't stress, it's just one day and it will be lovely because you are marrying the person you love surrounded by people you love!
 

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Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
The provisional date is actually Halloween, suggestions of a themed wedding have so far gone like this:
Me: We could have costumes!
Him: Ok, how about you come dressed as a bride and I come dressed as a groom?

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What about a groom's suit in white and a wedding dress in black ...?
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
a wedding dress in black ...?

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Don't say that, or LVER will be down on you like une tonne de briques.
 

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Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
You can't mean this organisation, can you?
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
I thought le peu de français might have pointed to a Shipmate who has posted on this thread...
 

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Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
I think she means shipmate La Vie en Rouge. I remember a rather heated thread on the subject of black dresses being worn to weddings, or rather in particular to her wedding...

[ 02. March 2015, 19:49: Message edited by: Lucia ]
 

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Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :
 
Wow Little Miss Methodist, you look fabulous in those pictures! (Belated) congratulations!
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
What JtL said, LMM - and aren't you clever making the dress, waistcoat etc.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Wot they said - FAB!!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
To be fair, I’ve never said you shouldn’t wear black to your own wedding if you feel like it. Just don’t wear it to mine

My dress is finished I’m still feeling rather stressed out at the moment tho. There’s so much to do, not least a house move…
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
"Married in black
Wish yourself back."

Looks horrible as a wedding dress, unless you're going for some kind of Gothic theme.
 

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Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :
 
You look lovely LMM
 

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Posted by Little Miss Methodist (# 1000) on :
 
Thank you all for the lovely comments!
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
What a classy but simple wedding LMM!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Frocks! frocks everywhere!

The dresses for my grown-up bridesmaids have turned up in the post (ordered from the UK because attractive, tasteful, made to measure dresses here start at about 400€ each ). They are very golden and shiny and I was worried I was going to get upstaged but I think it’s going to be ok. Guess it would have been my own fault anyway, seeing how I picked them They are 1950s style peplum dresses, not big skirts because my own dress is huge and I was thinking of the photos – acres of poof and somewhere underneath we think there might be some people…

I also went to pick up my small bridesmaids’ dresses this lunchtime. They have frills and bows and froof and they are cuteness itself. Their dresses are poofy (frilly petticoats and all) because I figure that at that age, wearing a big poofy dress is kind of the whole point of being a bridesmaid. The two little girls who are going to wear them are Malagasy and they are going to look adorable with their dark skin and black hair and black eyes and red bows.

My dress is also ready and I am going to go and pick it up from mother en rouge this weekend.

To be honest I’ve spent the month of March feeling horribly stressed out and fed up and having a fit of the blues. At least the house move is over now (and I no longer live with the housemate from hell ), so I’m hoping it’s going to get more enjoyable from hereon in. Six weeks to go…
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Yay, dresses! I am frankly envious of LMM's sewing ability and dress, it looks fab. I have an appointment next week with these people and despite the rather un-me sounding name, I'm very much hoping that will be fun.

Bonne chance, LVER!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Those dresses are very pretty.
 

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Posted by Little Miss Methodist (# 1000) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
Yay, dresses! I am frankly envious of LMM's sewing ability and dress, it looks fab. I have an appointment next week with these people and despite the rather un-me sounding name, I'm very much hoping that will be fun.

Bonne chance, LVER!

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quote:

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Originally posted by SvitlanaV2:

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
(NB, I am familiar with the Crappy Choruses etc thread and none of the horrors feature in our possibles list, especially not that awful one which appears to confuse Jesus with Michael Flatley)

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But isn't it a good idea to choose the obvious (and possibly crappy) hymns simply because your non-churchgoing guests might actually know them?

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Of the last few weddings I have attended, only one would have had more than a fifth of guests with _any_ knowledge of church services. With people meeting their mates at the workplace and voluntary activities, only a very few people are marrying within their religious tradition and, of course, likely it is only a minority of the (Ontario) population which is religiously active, and that's spreading it between various Christian tribes, several sorts of Muslims, a range of South Asian traditions, and two sorts of Jews. I think it's safe to say that almost nowhere -- saving church groups or the miitary- could one assume any hymn knowledge at all, with the exception of Abide With Me, which folks know from Titanic reruns.
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Lovely ideas for frocks ScotsLass. From the name I was expecting black bin bag type ones. I think I'd be very tempted if I was getting married again.
I love your frock LMM, the colour is one of my favourites.
I'm really looking forward to the photos of your LVER. I hope M.LVER is recovering from the flu.
 

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Posted by Derf (# 2093) on :
 
LMM I'd've been very concerned if you hadn't made your own dress! Somewhere I still have the bolero-jacket you made to go with mine - it might even have been worn again since, unlike the dress. You look stunning, and the dress is so very you
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Little Miss Methodist:

quote:

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Originally posted by Scots lass:
Yay, dresses! I am frankly envious of LMM's sewing ability and dress, it looks fab. I have an appointment next week with these people and despite the rather un-me sounding name, I'm very much hoping that will be fun.

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I had the Fairygothmother dresses in mind when I was choosing the pattern for mine! I loved the dresses on their website but simply could not have afforded or justified the expense on such a small budget. They are simply beautiful though, so I hope you find the right one for you. I'm a tiny bit jealous!

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I'm not sure they're in my budget either! I just couldn't resist going and trying them on... My mum has actually offered to pay, so will see how I get on. I'm also debating Kitty & Dulcie, who do lovely things for significantly less cash!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
This baby has also arrived (in white, not ivory). I’m chuffed. It’s from a previous season and was out of stock everywhere but someone has finally found me one. I couldn’t find anything else that I liked so much/worked so well with my face.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
So how is it all going?

Anyone else planning on getting hitched this year?
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
Our youngest daughter is getting married in October and we will take our annual leave and return to the UK two weeks before so we can be involved in the final preparations.
Thank goodness for email, Skype etc. so that we can be in communication, otherwise it could be stressful.
She has just changed her choice of colour for the bridesmaids dresses as the men are now going to be in blue morning dress so waiting to hear which colour she chooses to put her sisters and friends in. She has found a style which will flatter all the different shapes and sizes which is good!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
I am back as Madame

Don't have the photos yet but they shall be forthcoming once we've got them from the various people.

Everything went extraordinarily, surprisingly well with basically no hitches - all the providers (florist, caterer, venue) were amazing and the sun even shone. They had been forecasting rain the whole week but in the end it was fine all day. We even put the aperitif outside. Then on Sunday there was an apocalyptic storm when all the rain fell that had been waiting in the sky and not falling on Saturday. My Mum's dress was much admired.

I think everyone had a good time.
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Congratulation Madam and Monsieur LVER. Sounds lovely, and I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves. I was so blitzed by the whole thing that the day went by in a haze. My husband and I wrote notes shortly afterwards that we still look at now and again to remind ourselves about the day.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Huge congratulations, Madame & Monsieur en Rouge!
 

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Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Piglet:
Huge congratulations, Madame & Monsieur en Rouge!

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Amen! I'm so very happy for you!
 

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Posted by Japes (# 5358) on :
 
Congratulations Madame et Monsieur en Rouge
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by la vie en rouge:
I am back as Madame

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OMG, I didn't realize that was coming up so soon - congratulations, and yes do post pics, would love to see them!

Glad all went well. Your descriptions earlier sounded sumptuous.
 

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Posted by Tree Bee (# 4033) on :
 
Excellent Madame, so pleased all went well. Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Felicitations LVER!
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Congratulations Madame LVER!
 

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Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
Congratulations, Madame and Monsieur.
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
...and belatedly from here, too.
 

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Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Congratulations Madame et Monsieur Rouge
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 
Looking forward to some pictures.
 

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Posted by To The Pain (# 12235) on :
 
Probably not getting hitched in 2015, but I proposed to Callanish this weekend and she accepted!

My side of things (basically, how to persuade a chocolate cake to do the hard work).

Her side of the story and a plethora of soppy pictures of us.
 

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Posted by Heavenly Anarchist (# 13313) on :
 
Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Jemima the 9th (# 15106) on :
 
Congratulations To The Pain & Callanish, from a very occasional poster. Those are some truly lovely soppy photos of you both.

[Soppy not sappy. Learn to type Jt9]

[ 23. June 2015, 21:32: Message edited by: Jemima the 9th ]
 

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Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by To The Pain:
Probably not getting hitched in 2015, but I proposed to Callanish this weekend and she accepted!

My side of things (basically, how to persuade a chocolate cake to do the hard work).

Her side of the story and a plethora of soppy pictures of us.

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Congratulations!

 

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Posted by Adrienne (# 2334) on :
 
Many congratulations!
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Congratulations TTP and Callanish.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Brilliant! Congratulations.
 

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Posted by basso (# 4228) on :
 
Congratulations!
 

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Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :
 
Woohoo to all celebrating weddings! Much flag waving from me.

I have a question on wedding etiquette (where's Sine when you need him?).

Two weddings this year in my family, both events relayed by my eldest sister during a recent visit. One is a nephew's second marriage (to a Buddhist in an Orthodox Church - still trying to work that one out). And the other is a great-nephew's first marriage by a marriage celebrant. No invitations came our way - which is fine - we live a couple of thousand kms away and are not a close family.

I was able to send a card and an antique bible back with my sister for the great-nephew's wedding in August. But the other one (nephew's second marriage) occurred last month, and the bride and groom are currently honeymooning. Should I send them anything other than a belated card? If so, what?

Lord, these things can be complicated!
 

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Posted by Dafyd (# 5549) on :
 
Congratulations TTP and Callanish.
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Congratulations! That's v exciting news!

Tip for relatively stress free wedding planning: be as organised as you know how, and don't care about small details. That's getting us through it at the moment (18 weeks to go!).
 

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Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :
 
Congratulations TTP and Callanish
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Congratulations!!
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Banner Lady:
... No invitations came our way ...

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Scots lass:
It's acceptable to just have nothing on my head, isn't it?

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Oh totally! I was always very sure I didn't want a veil, ever since I went to my first university friend to get married's wedding, watched her husband lift her veil at the start of the ceremony, and just thought 'ugh' (I wasn't expecting that - they were a lovely couple, we were all GLEs - but it was a very visceral reaction to the symbolism of the action). As it happens, a lovely shipmate from the other side of the world, on hearing of our engagement, asked me if she could make me a tiara as a gift. It was stunning (she did my necklace and earrings too), really understated, and just perfect for me.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
I've had fairly short hair since Methuselah was a wee fellow, and when I got married I didn't want a veil* either, so I had a little circlet of plaited pearly things with a wee fancy doo-dah at the back, which looked OK with short hair.

* More specifically, I didn't want a train: just before we got engaged, I played the part of the Plaintiff in Trial by Jury and had to appear as a (jilted) bride. The dress I was given had a very short train (no more than a foot long) but every time I took a step backwards I trod on it, and decided that I didn't want that kind of hassle on my real wedding day.
 

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Posted by Zacchaeus (# 14454) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Jack the Lass:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Scots lass:
It's acceptable to just have nothing on my head, isn't it?

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Oh totally! I was always very sure I didn't want a veil, ever since I went to my first university friend to get married's wedding, watched her husband lift her veil at the start of the ceremony, and just thought 'ugh' (I wasn't expecting that - they were a lovely couple, we were all GLEs - but it was a very visceral reaction to the symbolism of the action). As it happens, a lovely shipmate from the other side of the world, on hearing of our engagement, asked me if she could make me a tiara as a gift. It was stunning (she did my necklace and earrings too), really understated, and just perfect for me.

---

Many veils these days go nowhere near the face but sit somewhere at the back of the head.

Not that you need to have anything you don't want.
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Thanks for the reassurance! I get a bit of "but that's what everyone does" based surprise from my mum every time I suggest doing something a bit different, and it starts me off worrying. The birdcage veil I acquired to try (only to discover that did't work either) came with a little ivory flower clip, so I think I might work out how best to wear that and go with very simple indeed.
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
After a mere four and a half months, we've finally got round to dealing with our photos.

For the viewing pleasure of the fine folks hereabouts, a picture of the wedding of the century

(Bragging rights: dress made by my mother; make-up by yours truly; cake made by my father (and half of it is still is my in-laws house - guess we'll get round to eating it at Christmas ))
 

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Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
WOOOWW!

Love the cake, love the dress, love the lipstick, but most of all love the shoes!
 

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Posted by Ferijen (# 4719) on :
 
The shoes! Beautiful.
 

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Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
Beautiful all round. Congratulations again
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Oh, wow! Beautiful!
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
Scots lass, hopefully the comments above should make you feel better. Red shoes are definitely not what everyone does, which incidentally is why I wore them You can see how well they went down.

Personally I never quite get why people want to do things exactly the same as everyone else. Something about tradition I suppose, but a lot of that stuff just ain’t me.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Wow cubed - you look lovely.

In the picture of the shoes, I was expecting you to click your heels together like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz ...
 

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Posted by St Everild (# 3626) on :
 
Beautiful LVER - many congratulations to you. You looked lovely - I love the shoes and the matching smile!
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
Great photos and I love the hat!

I have some Marxist friends in UK and when they married the bride wore the most outrageous bright red shoes with enormous heels - fab!
 

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
So elegant! Lovely pictures, thanks for sharing!
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Wow LVER - you, your husband, the cake and the car look wonderful. I too have a severe case of shoe envy.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
That's a perfectly judged outfit: the hat, the lippy, the dress length and the shoes all add up to a look that's stylish and individual while still being recognisably bridal.
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Wow, those are great photos! Congratulations!

I love that it's all obviously bridal without being incredibly traditional - very reassuring for my veil-skipping plans
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
bump
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Our wedding is now a week tomorrow. What might we have forgotten to do...?

We have clothes, a church, a minister, the paperwork, a reception venue, food, wine and a band. Those are all the important things, aren't they?
 

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Posted by Hazey*Jane (# 8754) on :
 
Guests?
 

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Posted by Carex (# 9643) on :
 
A groom?
 

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Posted by Lucia (# 15201) on :
 
Someone to take photos/video for you?
Transport to get you to venues?

[ 23. October 2015, 19:56: Message edited by: Lucia ]
 

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Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
An idea of timings. I forgot to divide time available by number of guests and spent too long chatting to some, with the result I barely spoke to others.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Witnesses? Do make sure they are qualified (age, not undischarged bankrupts, whatever).
 

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Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :
 
Well tomorrow is the Big Day.....
Our three weeks leave back here have flown by and I've had laptop problems so haven't really been able to visit the Ship.
All the family are safely gathered in from across the globe and our lovely youngest daughter has caught a vile cold just in time for her wedding.
But she is getting married and at one point we weren't even sure she'd make it this far- so we're thankful she is still in remission and that she has such a wonderful husband in the making.
Here's to the champagne tomorrow and the red eye flight back to Kenya on Monday!
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Oh, congratulations MrsBeaky and daughter! That sounds lovely, I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful day.

I have a groom, a photographer, witnesses and we're meant to have guests. If they don't show, I'm having their wine ! Thanks for the time tip, NEQ - it's going to be tight to get to talk to everyone and I'm resigned to not getting to talk to some friends for as long as I would like.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Hope you have a wonderful day, Mrs. Beaky, and that Miss Beaky's cold takes a running jump so that she can have a wonderful day too.

SL, good luck for your nuptials next week too - hope everything goes well and you don't forget anything ...
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Hope Miss Beaky has a wonderful day, cold or no cold, and that you all enjoy being together.
I think that's the best things about weddings, I loved having all my favourite people in one place for the day when I got married.
Scots Lass, what we did was wirte down our diary of the day while we could still remember it - so many things were going on it's easy to forget them all later.
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
There are a whole load of small things that you could try to bear in mind (remember tissues, touch up for your makeup, spare tights, needle and thread etc etc etc), but if you have a capable chief bridesmaid, I highly recommend farming this job out to her.

Delegating stuff is a key to feeling less stressed, I think. In our case, the major job that needed delegating was transport - our reception was in the middle of nowhere so we needed to make sure everyone had a ride. In a flash of inspiration we realised that my second witness/bridesmaid is German . This job was subcontracted to Teutonic organisation and consequently it all went like clockwork.
 

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Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Scots lass:
Oh, congratulations MrsBeaky and daughter! That sounds lovely, I hope you all have an absolutely wonderful day.

I have a groom, a photographer, witnesses and we're meant to have guests. If they don't show, I'm having their wine ! Thanks for the time tip, NEQ - it's going to be tight to get to talk to everyone and I'm resigned to not getting to talk to some friends for as long as I would like.

---

On the subject of time do remember that it takes time to assemble the various groups and some photographers are better organised than others. Photographs matter but it's a wedding first.

At the best organised wedding from this point of view canapés and drinks were served so those who weren't in shot had something to do.
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
The wedding went off without a hitch, all the planning made it a really good day. Absolutely exhausting by the end of it though, there were a lot of people to talk to and I know I didn't talk to some of them as much as I would have liked. Fortunately, my friend who came all the way from NZ for the wedding arrived a couple of days early so we had a chance to catch up then.

Our photographer has put some photos up on her blog (and if you're Edinburgh based and need a photographer, she was very good), so if you'd like to see some pics they're here.
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 
Huge congratulations, SL (and Scots Bloke) - you look lovely, and it looks to have been a wonderful, smile-filled day.



[ 24. November 2015, 01:22: Message edited by: Piglet ]
 

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Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :
 
Lovely photos. You look to have had a great day. Best wishes for the future.
 

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Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :
 
I agree, it looks like a super wedding! Many congratulations.

The photographer is obviously talented, some great shots there, and it sounds from the blog that she had fun on the day, too.
 

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Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :
 
Very familiar streets and buildings - Southside Rools OK!

Long life and happiness!
 

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Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :
 
Fabulous photos - you all look so happy
 

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Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :
 
Congratulations Scots Lass and Lad. The pictures are lovely, as are your dress and shoes. You both look smashing. Glad you found a great solution to the what to wear in your hair problem.
 

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Posted by Ferijen (# 4719) on :
 
Look at those lovely shoes! Congratulations.
 

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Posted by Alan Cresswell (# 31) on :
 
How long was everyone waving sparklers around before the fireworks photo came out?
 

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Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :
 

quote:

---

Sioni Sais:On the subject of time do remember that it takes time to assemble the various groups and some photographers are better organised than others. Photographs matter but it's a wedding first.

---

(I really hate this part of weddings. This is where I normally go for the booze.)
 

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Posted by la vie en rouge (# 10688) on :
 
The shoes! The shoes!

Congratulations
 

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Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sioni Sais:
... Photographs matter but it's a wedding first ...

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
I must just come back a moment to agree with everyone else who has already said it that the shoes are FAB!

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Me too.

shoe-fetishistic piglet
 

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Posted by Scots lass (# 2699) on :
 
Thank you everyone!

The shoes are indeed fabulous and I will be wearing them again at every opportunity!
 

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