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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Christmas Offerings
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
What can I give him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a teacher
I would bring some chalk.
If I were a butcher
I would bring some pork.
What would you bring?
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
A time travel trilogy, all my own work. One must assume that if the Christ Child is not quite literate yet that Joseph could use some after-carpentry reading. And a determined mother soon learns how to read while nursing.
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Pigwidgeon
Ship's Owl
# 10192
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Posted
Definitely a teddy bear -- much cuddlier than myrrh, gold, or frankincense.
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"...that is generally a matter for Pigwidgeon, several other consenting adults, a bottle of cheap Gin and the odd giraffe."
~Tortuf
Posts: 9835 | From: Hogwarts | Registered: Aug 2005
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
A huge stack of washcloths and baby blankets, suitable for spitting up on. And a babysitting offer for the poor tired parents...
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
Curry and rice liquidised into baby food.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
I would bring a lullaby service to get the babe to sleep while his exhausted mother got some supper with the family for a change.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Wet wipes. However did we manage without them?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Boogie
Boogie on down!
# 13538
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Posted
Pork? For a Jewish baby? ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
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Garden. Room. Walk
Posts: 13030 | From: Boogie Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2008
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Adeodatus
Shipmate
# 4992
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Posted
If I were an artist, I would gladly accept a lucrative commission, cos a boy's gotta eat.
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"What is broken, repair with gold."
Posts: 9779 | From: Manchester | Registered: Sep 2003
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ArachnidinElmet
Shipmate
# 17346
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Pork? For a Jewish baby?
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
Only cos it rhymes. Maybe if I was a Cutler I could give a fork. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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'If a pleasant, straight-forward life is not possible then one must try to wriggle through by subtle manoeuvres' - Kafka
Posts: 1887 | From: the rhubarb triangle | Registered: Sep 2012
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Piglet
Islander
# 11803
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Definitely a teddy bear -- much cuddlier than myrrh, gold, or frankincense.
Proper thing too - everyone ought to have a small bear or three. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Possibly along with some Mothercare vouchers.
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I may not be on an island any more, but I'm still an islander.
alto n a soprano who can read music
Posts: 20272 | From: Fredericton, NB, on a rather larger piece of rock | Registered: Sep 2006
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
GIN - a contented mother makes for a tranquil baby
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Alex Cockell
Ship’s penguin
# 7487
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
I would bring a lullaby service to get the babe to sleep while his exhausted mother got some supper with the family for a change.
Oh? This lullaby?
THAT Tim Minchin one
Posts: 2146 | From: Reading, Berkshire UK | Registered: Jun 2004
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Pork? For a Jewish baby?
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
I was in a toy shop (that takes me back a few years .....) and a young lad of about four was selecting animals for a crib scene. He had a donkey, some sheep, oxen, ducks and chickens and then asked for a couple of pigs! His mum and dad looked at each other and agreed. They were handsome Saddlebacks though, not your everyday pink porkers.
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Brenda Clough
Shipmate
# 18061
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Posted
It was the Roman empire, after all. You might not be planning to eat those pigs yourself. You might be planning to sell them at a handsome profit to the goys, who will offer them to Minerva or Hestia, but that's their tsouris, right?
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Science fiction and fantasy writer with a Patreon page
Posts: 6378 | From: Washington DC | Registered: Mar 2014
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Nenya
Shipmate
# 16427
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Posted
A large supply of newborn size disposable nappies and some expensive and wonderfully perfumed shower gel for Mary. Every mum needs extravagant pampering after giving birth.
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They told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn.
Posts: 1289 | Registered: May 2011
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Better check she's not allergic to perfume.
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
A chauffeur-driven Mustang GT convertible!
White with a big blue racing stripe on the bonnet and red interior!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
A banner - of course! Not just any banner - a useful bit of kit made like a quilt that can be thrown over a donkey's back, tucked over a manger, used as a picnic blanket, tied like a sling to carry a child and rolled out at appropriate times to display the angel's words "Peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind".
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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