Thread: Christmas Offerings Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on
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What can I give him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb.
If I were a teacher
I would bring some chalk.
If I were a butcher
I would bring some pork.
What would you bring?
Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on
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A time travel trilogy, all my own work. One must assume that if the Christ Child is not quite literate yet that Joseph could use some after-carpentry reading. And a determined mother soon learns how to read while nursing.
Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on
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Definitely a teddy bear -- much cuddlier than myrrh, gold, or frankincense.
Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on
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A huge stack of washcloths and baby blankets, suitable for spitting up on. And a babysitting offer for the poor tired parents...
Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on
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Curry and rice liquidised into baby food.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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I would bring a lullaby service to get the babe to sleep while his exhausted mother got some supper with the family for a change.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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Wet wipes. However did we manage without them?
Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on
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Pork? For a Jewish baby? ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
Posted by Adeodatus (# 4992) on
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If I were an artist, I would gladly accept a lucrative commission, cos a boy's gotta eat.
Posted by ArachnidinElmet (# 17346) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Pork? For a Jewish baby?
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
Only cos it rhymes. Maybe if I was a Cutler I could give a fork. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:
Definitely a teddy bear -- much cuddlier than myrrh, gold, or frankincense.
Proper thing too - everyone ought to have a small bear or three. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Possibly along with some Mothercare vouchers.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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GIN - a contented mother makes for a tranquil baby
Posted by Alex Cockell (# 7487) on
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quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
I would bring a lullaby service to get the babe to sleep while his exhausted mother got some supper with the family for a change.
Oh? This lullaby?
THAT Tim Minchin one
Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on
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quote:
Originally posted by Boogie:
Pork? For a Jewish baby?
I would bring some gorgeous little baby togs, it's great fun shopping for tiny clothes.
I was in a toy shop (that takes me back a few years .....) and a young lad of about four was selecting animals for a crib scene. He had a donkey, some sheep, oxen, ducks and chickens and then asked for a couple of pigs! His mum and dad looked at each other and agreed. They were handsome Saddlebacks though, not your everyday pink porkers.
Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on
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It was the Roman empire, after all. You might not be planning to eat those pigs yourself. You might be planning to sell them at a handsome profit to the goys, who will offer them to Minerva or Hestia, but that's their tsouris, right?
Posted by Nenya (# 16427) on
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A large supply of newborn size disposable nappies and some expensive and wonderfully perfumed shower gel for Mary. Every mum needs extravagant pampering after giving birth.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Better check she's not allergic to perfume.
Posted by Sir Kevin (# 3492) on
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A chauffeur-driven Mustang GT convertible!
White with a big blue racing stripe on the bonnet and red interior!
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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A banner - of course! Not just any banner - a useful bit of kit made like a quilt that can be thrown over a donkey's back, tucked over a manger, used as a picnic blanket, tied like a sling to carry a child and rolled out at appropriate times to display the angel's words "Peace on earth and goodwill to all mankind".
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