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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Seven modern lesser plagues
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
Obviously, such things as suicide bombers and gun massacres belong on the thread in Hell. But there are plenty of other lesser things that ought to be considered plagues. What would your seven man-made mini-plagues of modern life be?
I'm kicking off with:
Email, ringtones, refined sugar, skateboards, chewing gum, litter louts and extendable dog leads.
Yours?
(That way --> for the more serious ones.)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
Texting
Selfies
Rap
Rush Limbaugh
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
The oil industry
[ 13. February 2016, 12:05: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Gee D
Shipmate
# 13815
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Posted
AIDS is not a lesser plague - perhaps, just perhaps, in the West, but most certainly not in sub-Saharan Africa.
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Not every Anglican in Sydney is Sydney Anglican
Posts: 7028 | From: Warrawee NSW Australia | Registered: Jun 2008
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Shrink wrapping
Other people's mobile phone conversations
Internet trolls
Self-service checkouts
Chuggers
Telephone scammers
Jeremy Hunt
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
- Can we widen Shrink Wrapping to include just about all plastic wrapping, both soft and hard - you know that stuff that when you eventually get into it has a sharp edge that rips your thumb open!
- Opportunistic politicians who will do anything for a vote.
- Pesticides that through overuse destroy the water supply and general environment.
- I'll go along with chewing and bubble gums.
- Scammers of any sort.
- GM foods and their producers.
- Climate change deniers.
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
Facial Hair
Waiters saying "Guys"
Nail bars
Banner adverts
Cover bands in pubs
People writing equations on glass in science documentaries
Memes
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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Amanda B. Reckondwythe
Dressed for Church
# 5521
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
AIDS is not a lesser plague.
Yes, you're correct. I misread the thread title and thought that it was the major plague thread transferred from hell. I've modified my entry accordingly.
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"I take prayer too seriously to use it as an excuse for avoiding work and responsibility." -- The Revd Martin Luther King Jr.
Posts: 10542 | From: The Great Southwest | Registered: Feb 2004
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Doone
Shipmate
# 18470
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Posted
Split ends
Junk mail
Unsolicited phone calls
Can pulls that won't budge till they cut your finger
Heavy perfume in small spaces
Road hogs
Queues
Posts: 2208 | From: UK | Registered: Sep 2015
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
Can I reiterate some of Doone's?
Cold callers/scammers on the phone
As above, but who refer to me by my first name
Plastic packaging - why do indestructible items have to be sold in plastic coccoons which are impossible to open
Items sold in two's, when you only want 1,Items sold in 5's when there'3 in the family
Car drivers who drive with their windows open and music blaring
People who park in disabled spaces because they're nearer the shop/cash point
Drivers who park across dropped kerbs or who park on the pavement in such a fashion as to make it awkward to get through, especially those who say "I'll only be a minute", as if that excuses them.
I suppose the last 3 could be put together as inconsiderate drivers.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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Stercus Tauri
Shipmate
# 16668
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Posted
Trump
Cruz
Rubio
Bush
Christie
Fiorina
Carson
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Thay haif said. Quhat say thay, Lat thame say (George Keith, 5th Earl Marischal)
Posts: 905 | From: On the traditional lands of the Six Nations. | Registered: Sep 2011
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Lamb Chopped
Ship's kebab
# 5528
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Posted
Junk mail
Spam, horrible spam
Telemarketers
Vile, disgusting "can't avoid looking at it" pseudo-medical pictures on those internet ads with idiotic titles like "transform your belly fat into maximum manhood before you have a heart attack and DIE using one weird old tip"
Endless freaking long forms for jobs or medical care that you practically have to hire a secretary to fill out before you die of old age
TV and internet bozos who think that nothing is worth reporting unless it's polished up for MAXIMUM! FEAR! POTENTIAL! NOW!!!!!!
Legos under my bare feet in the middle of the night
[ 13. February 2016, 22:53: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]
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Er, this is what I've been up to (book).
Oh, that you would rend the heavens and come down!
Posts: 20059 | From: off in left field somewhere | Registered: Feb 2004
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
Much too sticky labels on everything you purchase.
Flat pack furniture.
Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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Welease Woderwick
Sister Incubus Nightmare
# 10424
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
...Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.
And *&^%$#@ Amazon who bombard me with adverts for stuff I've already bought from them!
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I give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.
Fancy a break in South India?
Accessible Homestay Guesthouse in Central Kerala, contact me for details
What part of Matt. 7:1 don't you understand?
Posts: 48139 | From: 1st on the right, straight on 'til morning | Registered: Sep 2005
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L'organist
Shipmate
# 17338
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Posted
Predictive text
Late-arriving brides
Tattoos - on both sexes
Feral children, especially in supermarkets and restaurants
Credit-worthiness worked out on the basis of one already owing money - what about those of use who are solvent?
Cheap scent, especially Lynx
Madonna, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Gwynneth Paltrow & Ed Sheeran
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Rara temporum felicitate ubi sentire quae velis et quae sentias dicere licet
Posts: 4950 | From: somewhere in England... | Registered: Sep 2012
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Leorning Cniht
Shipmate
# 17564
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
And *&^%$#@ Amazon who bombard me with adverts for stuff I've already bought from them!
I often look something up on Amazon to see what it is. As a consequence, I get adverts and emails about all kinds of stuff...
Posts: 5026 | From: USA | Registered: Feb 2013
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.
A recent text to my daughter included the name of a nearby town, Christiansburg. The message she got said Christianity.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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OddJob
Shipmate
# 17591
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Posted
1. People unable to find anywhere not allocated a postcode
2. Declining availability of drinks other than coffee at business functions
3. The view that a ‘quality’ product is one made to a defined standard, rather than a high standard.
4. Pointless complexity of electronic items
5. Reflexive pronoun misuse
6. Supermarket meat with a flavour indistinguishable from that of its plastic wrapping
7. Excessive road signs and markings
Posts: 97 | From: West Midlands | Registered: Mar 2013
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Macrina
Shipmate
# 8807
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Posted
1. 1% on your mobile phone battery
2. Lack of WiFi
3. Selfie Sticks
4. Headphones and walking in the middle of cycle paths with them on.
5. Photos of other people's dinner.
6. Weird efforts of Facebook/the Internet to stalk you and remember your preferences.
7. Excess paperwork.
Posts: 535 | From: Christchurch, New Zealand | Registered: Nov 2004
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North East Quine
Curious beastie
# 13049
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Posted
I spotted just in time that autocorrect had changed Catherine to catheter. I am fairly sure that "Dear Catheter" would not have been well received.
Having to navigate a complicated menu on the phone, only to be put on hold.
Autocorrect
Call centre calls
Sainsbury's self service check outs
Libraries which reduce their stock of books to create seating areas.
Posts: 6414 | From: North East Scotland | Registered: Oct 2007
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Graven Image
Shipmate
# 8755
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Posted
Child lock safety tops on medicine when you do not have small children.
Charities with large overheads.
Twister ties
Restaurants that serve pre-packaged food.
Large packages of food, batteries, hair products and such when one or two would do.
Posts: 2641 | From: Third planet from the sun. USA | Registered: Nov 2004
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
Embedded documents.
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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St. Gwladys
Shipmate
# 14504
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Posted
Please can I add another one?
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.
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"I say - are you a matelot?"
"Careful what you say sir, we're on board ship here"
From "New York Girls", Steeleye Span, Commoners Crown (Voiced by Peter Sellers)
Posts: 3333 | From: Rhymney Valley, South Wales | Registered: Jan 2009
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LeRoc
Famous Dutch pirate
# 3216
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Posted
(How long until the Hosts find out we're secretly doing TICTH? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) )
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I know why God made the rhinoceros, it's because He couldn't see the rhinoceros, so He made the rhinoceros to be able to see it. (Clarice Lispector)
Posts: 9474 | From: Brazil / Africa | Registered: Aug 2002
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marzipan
Shipmate
# 9442
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Posted
Burglar alarms that go on and on and nobody shows up to turn them off and they drive you nuts.
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formerly cheesymarzipan.
Now containing 50% less cheese
Posts: 917 | From: nowhere in particular | Registered: May 2005
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jedijudy
Organist of the Jedi Temple
# 333
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
(How long until the Hosts find out we're secretly doing TICTH? )
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Oh, but if these were offered to the Hell Hosts, there would be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.
jedijudy
Sweet, loving and forgiving Heaven Host
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Jasmine, little cat with a big heart.
Posts: 18017 | From: 'Twixt the 'Glades and the Gulf | Registered: Aug 2001
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Banner Lady
Ship's Ensign
# 10505
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Posted
It's not even argumentative enough to be purgatorial....though I reckon there are enough Kardashians to inhabit both Hell AND Purgatory. As a lesser man made plague, I cannot bring myself to nominate them for any thread in Heaven...
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Women in the church are not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be enjoyed.
Posts: 7080 | From: Canberra Australia | Registered: Oct 2005
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jacobsen
seeker
# 14998
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Posted
Predictive text
Overestimated gas and electricity bills
Cats who will not retract their claws, leaving me with unending centimeter long wounds (but I love my cats really.)
Ill-tempered drivers during a dark and rainy rush hour
Packaging!
Milk which goes off before its best before date
My own procrastination in re tax returns
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But God, holding a candle, looks for all who wander, all who search. - Shifra Alon
Beauty fades, dumb is forever-Judge Judy
The man who made time, made plenty.
Posts: 8040 | From: Æbleskiver country | Registered: Aug 2009
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Baptist Trainfan
Shipmate
# 15128
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
Please can I add another one?
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.
Equally: companies outsourcing their enquiries to third party call centres where the operatives know nothing about the business except what they've got on their screens.
Posts: 9750 | From: The other side of the Severn | Registered: Sep 2009
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Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.
Sometimes you can reach a real human being by pressing 0.
Moo
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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
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Pasco
Shipmate
# 388
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Posted
1. Sellers of high end designer goods with 'Designed in UK/USA, Made in China' label.
2. Ebay glut of "Buy-It-Now" sellers, offering "Made in China" - keeping genuine sellers at bay: ("begone all ye!").
3. Unaffordable items that don't last - breaking soon after guarantee runs out.
4. Google ad that keeps stalking you 24/7, in cyberspace, with ad of an item you once had a passing interest in, but had no intention of buying.
5. Alternative brand delivery, following online order of groceries.
6. Letterbox junk (charity plastic bags courtesy of businesses who intend giving their nominated charity a tenth value, with donors not reading the small print).
7. Pizza flyers.
Posts: 997 | From: Domiciling 'ere, living locally. | Registered: Jun 2001
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Galloping Granny
Shipmate
# 13814
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Posted
All of the above plus
Catalogues in the post that promise that you really and truly have won a prize: "quote this code when you send in your order or you might miss out". You don't get the $2000 prize; you get the pendant with a teeny-weeny blue topaz complete with a certificate of authenticity. All catalogues now go straight into the bin, which is a pity because I have several very useful things bought from them over the years, as well as some real rubbish.
Land agents' guff in your letter box: 'This house sold in your neighbourhood for $650,000' etc. We designed and built this house and will be here until we're carried out in a box. Even now it suits us perfectly. We do not want to sell it. We do not want to buy another one. Get lost!!! Apparently they don't think 'No Advertising' means land agents.
GG
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The Kingdom of Heaven is spread upon the earth, and men do not see it. Gospel of Thomas, 113
Posts: 2629 | From: Matarangi | Registered: Jun 2008
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