Ship of Fools: Seven modern lesser plagues

Thread: Seven modern lesser plagues Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

Obviously, such things as suicide bombers and gun massacres belong on the thread in Hell. But there are plenty of other lesser things that ought to be considered plagues. What would your seven man-made mini-plagues of modern life be?

I'm kicking off with:

Email, ringtones, refined sugar, skateboards, chewing gum, litter louts and extendable dog leads.

Yours?

(That way --> for the more serious ones.)

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

Texting
Selfies
Rap
Rush Limbaugh
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
The oil industry

[ 13. February 2016, 12:05: Message edited by: Amanda B. Reckondwythe ]

Posted by Gee D (# 13815) on :

AIDS is not a lesser plague - perhaps, just perhaps, in the West, but most certainly not in sub-Saharan Africa.

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

Shrink wrapping
Other people's mobile phone conversations
Internet trolls
Self-service checkouts
Chuggers
Telephone scammers
Jeremy Hunt

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

- Can we widen Shrink Wrapping to include just about all plastic wrapping, both soft and hard - you know that stuff that when you eventually get into it has a sharp edge that rips your thumb open!

- Opportunistic politicians who will do anything for a vote.

- Pesticides that through overuse destroy the water supply and general environment.

- I'll go along with chewing and bubble gums.

- Scammers of any sort.

- GM foods and their producers.

- Climate change deniers.

Posted by starbelly (# 25) on :

Facial Hair

Waiters saying "Guys"

Nail bars

Banner adverts

Cover bands in pubs

People writing equations on glass in science documentaries

Memes

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Gee D:
AIDS is not a lesser plague.

Yes, you're correct. I misread the thread title and thought that it was the major plague thread transferred from hell. I've modified my entry accordingly.

Posted by Doone (# 18470) on :

Split ends
Junk mail
Unsolicited phone calls
Can pulls that won't budge till they cut your finger
Heavy perfume in small spaces
Road hogs
Queues

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

Can I reiterate some of Doone's?
Cold callers/scammers on the phone
As above, but who refer to me by my first name
Plastic packaging - why do indestructible items have to be sold in plastic coccoons which are impossible to open
Items sold in two's, when you only want 1,Items sold in 5's when there'3 in the family
Car drivers who drive with their windows open and music blaring
People who park in disabled spaces because they're nearer the shop/cash point
Drivers who park across dropped kerbs or who park on the pavement in such a fashion as to make it awkward to get through, especially those who say "I'll only be a minute", as if that excuses them.
I suppose the last 3 could be put together as inconsiderate drivers.

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

Trump
Cruz
Rubio
Bush
Christie
Fiorina
Carson

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Junk mail

Spam, horrible spam

Telemarketers

Vile, disgusting "can't avoid looking at it" pseudo-medical pictures on those internet ads with idiotic titles like "transform your belly fat into maximum manhood before you have a heart attack and DIE using one weird old tip"

Endless freaking long forms for jobs or medical care that you practically have to hire a secretary to fill out before you die of old age

TV and internet bozos who think that nothing is worth reporting unless it's polished up for MAXIMUM! FEAR! POTENTIAL! NOW!!!!!!

Legos under my bare feet in the middle of the night

[ 13. February 2016, 22:53: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Much too sticky labels on everything you purchase.
Flat pack furniture.
Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
...Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.

And *&^%$#@ Amazon who bombard me with adverts for stuff I've already bought from them!

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

Predictive text
Late-arriving brides
Tattoos - on both sexes
Feral children, especially in supermarkets and restaurants
Credit-worthiness worked out on the basis of one already owing money - what about those of use who are solvent?
Cheap scent, especially Lynx
Madonna, Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, Gwynneth Paltrow & Ed Sheeran

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Welease Woderwick:
And *&^%$#@ Amazon who bombard me with adverts for stuff I've already bought from them!

I often look something up on Amazon to see what it is. As a consequence, I get adverts and emails about all kinds of stuff...

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Banner Lady:
Bloody auto correct and every other machine that is programmed to second guess your words, your needs and your interests.

A recent text to my daughter included the name of a nearby town, Christiansburg. The message she got said Christianity.

Moo

Posted by OddJob (# 17591) on :

1. People unable to find anywhere not allocated a postcode
2. Declining availability of drinks other than coffee at business functions
3. The view that a ‘quality’ product is one made to a defined standard, rather than a high standard.
4. Pointless complexity of electronic items
5. Reflexive pronoun misuse
6. Supermarket meat with a flavour indistinguishable from that of its plastic wrapping
7. Excessive road signs and markings

Posted by Macrina (# 8807) on :

1. 1% on your mobile phone battery
2. Lack of WiFi
3. Selfie Sticks
4. Headphones and walking in the middle of cycle paths with them on.
5. Photos of other people's dinner.
6. Weird efforts of Facebook/the Internet to stalk you and remember your preferences.
7. Excess paperwork.

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :

I spotted just in time that autocorrect had changed Catherine to catheter. I am fairly sure that "Dear Catheter" would not have been well received.

Having to navigate a complicated menu on the phone, only to be put on hold.
Autocorrect
Call centre calls
Sainsbury's self service check outs
Libraries which reduce their stock of books to create seating areas.

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

Child lock safety tops on medicine when you do not have small children.
Charities with large overheads.
Twister ties
Restaurants that serve pre-packaged food.
Large packages of food, batteries, hair products and such when one or two would do.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

Embedded documents.

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

Please can I add another one?
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

(How long until the Hosts find out we're secretly doing TICTH? [Razz]

)

Posted by marzipan (# 9442) on :

Burglar alarms that go on and on and nobody shows up to turn them off and they drive you nuts.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:
(How long until the Hosts find out we're secretly doing TICTH? )

Oh, but if these were offered to the Hell Hosts, there would be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

jedijudy
Sweet, loving and forgiving Heaven Host

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

It's not even argumentative enough to be purgatorial....though I reckon there are enough Kardashians to inhabit both Hell AND Purgatory. As a lesser man made plague, I cannot bring myself to nominate them for any thread in Heaven...

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Predictive text
Overestimated gas and electricity bills
Cats who will not retract their claws, leaving me with unending centimeter long wounds (but I love my cats really.)
Ill-tempered drivers during a dark and rainy rush hour
Packaging!
Milk which goes off before its best before date
My own procrastination in re tax returns

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
Please can I add another one?
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.

Equally: companies outsourcing their enquiries to third party call centres where the operatives know nothing about the business except what they've got on their screens.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by St. Gwladys:
Endless menus when you are making a phone call, especially menus with no "hold the line and you can speak to a real person as your query doesn't correspond to any of the options" option.

Sometimes you can reach a real human being by pressing 0.

Moo

Posted by Pasco (# 388) on :

1. Sellers of high end designer goods with 'Designed in UK/USA, Made in China' label.
2. Ebay glut of "Buy-It-Now" sellers, offering "Made in China" - keeping genuine sellers at bay: ("begone all ye!").
3. Unaffordable items that don't last - breaking soon after guarantee runs out.
4. Google ad that keeps stalking you 24/7, in cyberspace, with ad of an item you once had a passing interest in, but had no intention of buying.
5. Alternative brand delivery, following online order of groceries.
6. Letterbox junk (charity plastic bags courtesy of businesses who intend giving their nominated charity a tenth value, with donors not reading the small print).
7. Pizza flyers.

Posted by Galloping Granny (# 13814) on :

All of the above plus
Catalogues in the post that promise that you really and truly have won a prize: "quote this code when you send in your order or you might miss out". You don't get the $2000 prize; you get the pendant with a teeny-weeny blue topaz complete with a certificate of authenticity. All catalogues now go straight into the bin, which is a pity because I have several very useful things bought from them over the years, as well as some real rubbish.

Land agents' guff in your letter box: 'This house sold in your neighbourhood for $650,000' etc. We designed and built this house and will be here until we're carried out in a box. Even now it suits us perfectly. We do not want to sell it. We do not want to buy another one. Get lost!!! Apparently they don't think 'No Advertising' means land agents.

GG

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