Ship of Fools: Bad Dog or other bad pets.

Thread: Bad Dog or other bad pets. Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :

Having a number of pets over the years, I know things will from time to time get out of hand. We have had our share of chewed shoes, and belts and once had a lab make off with a bit of roast chicken. The topper was last week when we had just had a new small wool rug delivered to the house. As I was unrolling it at the foot of the bed the family dog was walking behind me. OH NO she, who has been house broken for a long time, was peeing on the new carpet before I had even finished putting it down. Who was a Bad Dog at your house and what did they do?

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

I had a Bad Parrot (now sadly an ex-Parrot) who refused to eat for three days. I came back from the kitchen one day to find her hip deep in my bowl of Japanese dumplings.

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Bad Cat, who, contrary to the perceived wisdom that cats are nimble-footed, accurate steppers, planted her hind paw squarely in my mug of tea.

Or maybe it was deliberate. [Razz]

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
... now sadly an ex-Parrot ...

Sorry - couldn't resist. [Killing me]

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Yep--that was in my mind. [Biased]

Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :

Old Dog was very fond of cheese. Especially blue cheese. And the smellier the better. We never thought to mention this to house-sitters, though, as he always came and asked nicely when Mr B had the smelly cheese out. All was fine until the time a house-sitter got out a block of Stilton, left the kitchen for a couple of minutes, and came back to find an empty cheese wrapper and a very happy Old dog licking his lips... [Eek!]

Old Dog is also the reason we don't have chocolates on our Christmas tree. We always used to, and visitors would be invited to take one or two with them when they left, but the year he was 18 months or so, we kept finding one or two broken baubles under the tree when we'd been out. Then there was the time we got back and found half a dozen smashed baubles, and *all* the chocolates stripped off the tree... We figured he couldn't tell the difference between a glass bauble and a shiny foil-wrapped chocolate until he'd bitten it! [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :

Bad dog has dementia, which means that she has forgotten quite a bit, including all of her toilet training. As a result, she wears a nappy when inside. We have The Battle of the Nappy on a very regular basis.

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

When I was a child, we had a dog who stole a whole half pound of butter off the table. She never stole anything else.

Our most beloved old dog, as a puppy stole about 3 lbs of Kendal Mint Cake from the Christmas tree. She also ate the kitchen.

M.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

My dog doesn't go into my house. The best remedy for any Bad Dog behaviour [Smile]

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

After I graduated, I was homeless and unemployed for a while. Having been put up by friends and family as I sofa-surfed, I recall one time I was doing online job applications at my sister's house, when the cat came in jumped up on the keyboard and managed to not only type gobbledygook into the final comments box but also managed to hit 'submit'.

I never heard back from that potential employer.

Posted by Adam. (# 4991) on :

We had a Bad Dog who you could only play fetch with once. Whatever you threw, he'd go catch it and bring it back, but then growl, tense his jaw and refuse to give up whatever you'd thrown.

Posted by Kaplan Corday (# 16119) on :

Decades ago, when I was out running around the roads training for a marathon (my first and only) a Bad Dog (Alsatian), which had obviously escaped from someone's yard, latched on to me and ran beside me for miles.

At one point we came across some men re-concreting a footpath, and Bad Dog ran straight across the wet, just-smoothed cement, just like in a cartoon, prompting very unkind comments from the workmen, who assumed Bad Dog was mine.

Posted by Lothlorien (# 4927) on :

Husband came to visit me in hospital after birth of second son. He was very disgruntled. He had put a piece of specially chosen steak in cast iron pan to cook. The hurried down to shop a couple of doors away for milk or something. When he returned, steak had been neatly lifted from to pan and was nowhere to be seen. Black Labrador was very happy.

I did try to educate him about cooking steak but his mother had always cooked it till it was charcoal so he was doing the same.

Posted by Snags (# 15351) on :

Parental Bad Dog (one incident in a whole catalogue):
When I was growing up the 'middle' family dog was outrageously greedy and also fairly ill-behaved (in retrospect we think he was a bit brain damaged). Amongst his many indiscretions, a prevailing favourite was the day mum was baking bread.

Mum in kitchen, with a significant batch of bread on the go. Doorbell rings, so she goes to answer it. Deals with whoever it was and returns. Tries to remember what she was doing. Oh yes! Making bread.

Looks for bread dough, which had been proving.

Looks really hard for bread dough.

Looks at dog. Dog emits yeasty belch.

Rings vet:

- OMG! The dog's just eaten a few pounds of proving bread dough, what do I do, what do I do?
- <without missing a beat> Put him in the oven at about 180C for half an hour
- <the indescribable sound of a vet being sacked>

Stupid dog swelled like a Thelwell Pony, was force-fed milk of magnesia, and was belching and farting like a brewery for days.

Our Bad Cat #1:
Many moons ago decided to have a party and make it a bit retro-post-modern-irony-lite, with all the stuff I liked from childhood (cheese and pineapple on sticks, Sara Lee chocolate cake, black forest gateau, strawberry gateau etc.).

Bought appropriately low-rent frozen desserts, and left them on the kitch windowsill to defrost. Neither of our cats were particular thieves, so gave them no mind.

Shortly before people are due to arrive I walk into the kitchen to see Talisker (big ginger Tom) sat in the sink, licking the strawberry gateau as hard as he can. Ignores all shouts, so I grab him (back to me, cake in front) and pull him out of the sink. His neck extended like Inspector Gadget as he strained to keep licking to the last possible mmoment ...

Cake served with a neatly bisected arc across one edge to amusement of guests.

Little bastard had a repeat offence some years later after Mrs Snags made a Proper Cheesecake and left it out on the side, then returned to the kitchen to find a groove right in the middle across the top, roughly the width of a ginger cat's tongue ...

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

We have Bad Gerbils. After four generations of laid-back male gerbils, we bought three females. The gerbilarium of their late lamented predecessors just isn't good enough for them; they keep trying to get out. One in particular likes to climb up the water bottle and gnaw at the wire netting on the top of the cage. We've had to put a brick on it to hold it down.

We also suspect them of building a Doomsday Machine under their bedding.

Posted by Kittyville (# 16106) on :

Snags, those are both fabulous!

[Killing me]

The best I can offer in response is Snouters, the ruiner of carpets and causer of tiled floors on two continents. Or should that be incontinents?

To avoid double posting - I now have a cat who adores cheesecake as well. Also crisps, haloumi and sweet corn.

[ 20. July 2015, 12:23: Message edited by: Kittyville ]

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

They're not really pets, but the tamarin monkeys in my guarden can get rather naughty. Stealing fruits mostly.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

The parental dog was a terrible thief: handkerchiefs, softening butter, next-door's Christmas cake, you name it, he'd steal and make a stab at eating.

But nothing prepared me for the kitten... going back into the kitchen on Christmas Day to get THE BIRD discovered tail protruding from middle of turkey [Eek!]

Posted by Boogie (# 13538) on :

Tatze eats anything related to dog walking, leads collars, harnesses ...

She does this on the quiet, so we have to be really careful where we put them. She once swallowed a lead whole except for the metal clip. She threw it up, TEN days later!

Tally so far - two harnesses (including metal bit), two leads, two collars.

Her toys and teddies are all intact [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Welease Woderwick (# 10424) on :

Skipper was very good with food generally and was never a glutton but he was another who loved blue cheese - normally after work and then a walk we would come home and he would head upstairs for a nap whilst I made supper - but if I took gorgonzola out of the fridge he would magically appear beside me - he always got the rind.

His problem was fireworks or cap guns when he'd try to tunnel his way out - having walls replastered ain't cheap!

Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :

Our dear departed black lab who was very fit decided to follow my husband up a tree he had climbed when out walking on the South Downs.
I stood calling the Bad Dog to come down but to no avail.
He stood on the branch he had reached, several feet up, barking at his master who was climbing higher and higher, most put out he couldn't follow.
He then proceeded to impale his foot on a sharp branch necessitating a vet's bill of several hundred pounds.

I miss that dog......

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Minny, our little Teddy Bear hamster was quite the escape artist. One night I woke to hear:

code:

slurp
smack
slurp

When I finally woke enough to see what was going on, there was Minny beside my bed, stuffing a whole package of turquoise quilt binding into her cheeks.

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

Sister's Bad Dog is a Potato Stealer. Sister has a cupboard where the vegetable box goes. Open that cupboard at any unguarded moment, and the Dog makes off with a raw potato with ninja-like speed and stealth.

Posted by Bene Gesserit (# 14718) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Snags:
Parental Bad Dog (one incident in a whole catalogue)...

That is the first time something on the Ship has literally made me cry with laughter!!!

We had a Bad Dog who loved cheese and would steal it given the slightest opportunity.

Posted by LeRoc (# 3216) on :

quote:
MrsBeaky: Our dear departed black lab who was very fit decided to follow my husband up a tree he had climbed when out walking on the South Downs.
I stood calling the Bad Dog to come down but to no avail.
He stood on the branch he had reached, several feet up, barking at his master who was climbing higher and higher, most put out he couldn't follow.
He then proceeded to impale his foot on a sharp branch necessitating a vet's bill of several hundred pounds.

Are you sure it was just the dog who was being a bit 'bad' here? [Smile]

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

My sister had a Bad Dog called Sophie, a lurcher, sort of skinny black Labrador shaped. One of the several times my sister ended up back living at home with my parents she brought Sophie, much to the misery of the resident cat, who wasn't impressed by a dog with a mission to chase him. Chasing anything that moved was his job and he wasn't best pleased to be outdone.

One day the cat, looking for a bit of peace, climbed on to the pitched roof of the garage and sat there relaxing. Unfortunately for the cat Sophie worked out that she could climb the tree against the end wall and up on to the garage roof. She wasn't so good at walking along the top of the pitched roof, it was a bit paws in all directions, but she wasn't doing badly when the cat decided this wasn't a safe place any more and skedaddled, pursued by determined dog. The cartoon imagery wasn't helped by the black and white markings of the cat.

Roll on a few years and Sophie had puppies. They looked much more like Labradors, and I had a yellow one.

That Bad Dog had a wicked sense of humour. We lived in a ground floor flat with a huge bay window with a sofa, and usually windows slightly ajar at the bottom. The dog used to lie in wait hiding on the sofa with his nose level with the window. And no he wasn't allowed on the furniture, in theory. He would watch passers-by walk past and time an emphatic woof to make the pedestrian jump and scuttle. Then he'd look round and laugh.

Another few years I moved home to my parents with dog and child. Sophie's son reckoned it was his duty to follow his mother's lead. The first time cat and dog were in the garden together the dog chased that cat up a tree and then returned every 10 minutes or so to make sure the cat didn't have any ideas about coming down. The Bad Dog thought it was funny, he'd look around and check reactions, laughing.

Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :

Holly, my Bad Boy hamster, used to run around on the living room floor around my feet while I was working on the computer. One evening I suddenly noticed a complete lack of noise from the PC speakers. On getting down on the floor and investigating the speaker cables, I found they had both been neatly stripped of all the plastic insulation and then gnawed completely through.

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

Our first cat was a Siamese called Garfield (There are some things you just have to do...) who thought he was human.
My grandfather used to come to us for Sunday lunch after we'd been to church. We'd usually have a chicken for lunch, which we'd have defrosted. One Sunday, I made the mistake of leaving the chicken on the worksurface rather than in the fridge. We got home from church to find that half the breast of the chicken was missing and Garfield looked very pleased with himself. What could we do? (These are the days before Sunday opening and supermarkets in our town.)Answer: Cut off the chewed bits and cook the chicken assuming that the temperature of the oven was enough to kill any germs, carve the chicken in the kitchen, and serve, not telling grandpa what had happened!(Grandpa didn't really like cats at the best of times).

Posted by no prophet's flag is set so... (# 15560) on :

Tinsel, that stuff for decorating Xmas trees, goes straight through a cat, if you step on the end of it and the cat walks away. It is no good for decorating anything after that.

Posted by Beautiful Dreamer (# 10880) on :

I once woke up to find that the cats had gotten into a huge bag of catnip I'd forgotten we had and spread it all over the kitchen floor. They were all sacked out on the floor like a bunch of stoners with the exception of Slater, who was bouncing off the walls. I wish I'd had my camera phone with me. [Smile]

There's also the time when Daniel Tiger was lying on the scanner and wouldn't get down. I told him that if he didn't get off of it, I'd scan him in. He didn't, so I did. [Smile]

Daniel Tiger's belly

[ 25. July 2015, 16:41: Message edited by: Beautiful Dreamer ]

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :

Went into the bathroom the other day and found the cat sitting on the counter, chewing the toothbrush standing in the stand. When I yelled at her to stop she gave me the look: Excuse me, I'm doing oral hygiene here.

Posted by marzipan (# 9442) on :

When my sister was living in a bedsit, she had a hamster. One morning about to go to work, she noticed that the hamster wasn't in its cage. She looked everywhere, couldn't find the hamster (only one room to search of course). Eventually discovered the hamster inside a packet of chocolate digestive biscuits which had been left open!
My other sister when she was younger had a rabbit which we'd been assured was a small breed and grew to be enormous. She ate everything including things which were supposed to be poisonous to rabbits - rhubarb, primroses, anything else which she could find in the garden. My dad had just bought a new garden hose which soon ended up sprinkling little fountains of water from rabbit teeth holes....
More recently my mum had a rabbit which ate the living room carpet, among other things.

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

quote:
Originally posted by M.:
She also ate the kitchen.

Can you unpack that, please?

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

If she ate it while it was still in the moving boxes, you wouldn't need to unpack it. [Razz]

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :

I have a great many birds, including Bad Bird, a green cheeked conure. She had had the saggy baggy penguin look of an impending egg for about 4 days, so I began to worry that she was egg-bound ( which can kill them). When she still hadn't laid the egg the next day, we went off to the vet. 48 hours of calcium supplements and steam baths later, and she still hadn't laid it, so the local vet suggested I take her to the Vet School. This is a 2 hour drive.

So, after leaving work, I trundle off to the Vet School, only to learn about an hour into the trip that Bad Bird could open her cage. She climbed out, abseiled down the car seat, then crawled into my lap and abseiled down my leg. By this time I had pulled over, so she popped herself under the clutch peddle and looked absorbed. I scooped her up quickly and popped her on the seat, where she promptly laid her egg, then abandoned it in favour of the headrest, where the view was better. She sat there for the rest of the trip, looking smug. When I got her to the avian vet, his comment was that she had just had her legs crossed and was doing the bird equivalent of 'You can't make me!' For nearly a week. That blasted egg cost me $300...

Posted by Nicolemr (# 28) on :

My bad kitty Sybil gets inside the turtle tank and sits on the turtle's rock. The turtle is not pleased. [Roll Eyes]

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Ooh, you reminded me of our Bad Macaw! She used to walk into the kitchen and start eating out of the Chihuahua's dish while he barked like a crazy thing. You could just see her laugh.

One day she got particularly evil and decided to land on the dog's back. She outweighed him.

Cue canine hysterics.

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

Kelly, it was (thankfully) the old kitchen that was in the house when we arrived. Dog gradually worked her way through the bottoms of cupboard doors, so that if we left her, when we came home, there were piles of sawdust everywhere, as though giant woodworms had been at work. We decided it was better to confine the chewing to the old kitchen cupboards than risk the furniture in the rest of the house. Oh, she chewed the old lino on the floor, too.

The dear old thing also had a penchant for the seatbelts in the car (my company car). We tried sprays, we tried laying old seatbelts across the back of the car seats but eventually had to resort to wrapping old towels around the seatbelts every time we left her in the car, and that didn't always work. My employer was quite patient at paying for replacement seatbelts, but after a while we got embarrassed and just paid for them ourselves without saying anything.

Macarius' Ordination Bible bears the scars, too.

In all other ways, she was lovely.

M.

[ 26. July 2015, 05:42: Message edited by: M. ]

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

[Overused]

You have no idea how glad I am I asked that question.

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

Georgie-Porgy fat'n'fluffy looks like one of those cute cats that used to be pictured on chocolate boxes, but that's just a disguise.

I should have known when she walked in the door, and later determinedly scrabbled through the fixed louvre windows, that she was trouble but when I leafleted the neighbourhood and was told she left the house of the person who had rescued her from up a tree because 2 German Shepherd had moved in, I felt sorry for her. Even when I was warned she had set off the burglar alarm at the local school necessitating a Police call out, I just put that down to kittenish high spirits.

Now however I know better. Her latest trick is to go outside early on frosty mornings, then come back into bed to cuddle ... and put the freezing pads of her paws on my bare arms or any other bare skin she can reach. She then looks surprised when I wake up less than happy [Frown]

I have threatened her with dire consequences, but she just looks amused.

Huia

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Daughter-Unit's mom-in-law has a houseful of birds. She has several parrots of various kinds that talk. They are bad, but cute!

Lila is excellent at mimicking electronic noises. She sounds just like the alarm system being armed. She also mimics m-i-l's cell phone. When Lila does that, Sinbad responds: "Hello!"

Sinbad is the real character. Like a little child, he wants mom's attention when she gets a phone call. I can hear him screaming and squealing when I call her. Eventually, m-i-l gets tired of it and goes to his cage and says, "Knock it off!". His response: "Whatsa matta?" in a lovely New Jersey accent. Then he'll sweet talk her, calling her Honey and carrying on a hysterical conversation.

They are so entertaining!

Posted by MrsBeaky (# 17663) on :

quote:
Originally posted by LeRoc:

quote:
MrsBeaky: Our dear departed black lab who was very fit decided to follow my husband up a tree he had climbed when out walking on the South Downs.
I stood calling the Bad Dog to come down but to no avail.
He stood on the branch he had reached, several feet up, barking at his master who was climbing higher and higher, most put out he couldn't follow.
He then proceeded to impale his foot on a sharp branch necessitating a vet's bill of several hundred pounds.
Are you sure it was just the dog who was being a bit 'bad' here?

Indeed..... I did point this out to my husband who remained inordinately proud of said dog....until the vet's bill arrived!

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :

( editorial tanget) I think a good indicator of a Limbo- worthy threadd is when you want to quotesfile EVERYTHING.

[ 26. July 2015, 22:53: Message edited by: Kelly Alves ]

Posted by Otter (# 12020) on :

We were warned that the recently-adopted Tommy the beagle is a food thief. Ok, no surprise, and We didn't think he'd be any worse than taller thieving huskies, even the ones that stole a whole bunch of bananas and a half-pint of honey.

Wrong, wrong, wronged than a wrong thing! He started with open bags of snacks closed with binder clips, moved on to in-opened bags of snacks, escalated to a jar of mole sauce concentrate (fortunately, without cocoa), and the climax was the can of diced tomatoes, which he punched several holes in and was slowly emptying...without damaging his teeth! I suspect an empty soda can found in the yard was another of his prizes.

Very shortly thereafter The Otter Pup and I cleaned and re-organized the pantry. All good containers now live in the pantry, fridge, or auxiliary pantry (storage bin).

And Sunday Tommy snatched the Otter Pup's sandwich when his back was momentarily turned. Sandwich was reposessed and split between the other two dogs. Good thing Tommy is also very loveable, in addition to being called Tommy Trouble.
[Smile]

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
And Sunday Tommy snatched the Otter Pup's sandwich when his back was momentarily turned.

Our bad dog Gladys has a trainer, in hopes that she will learn some manners as the baby grows up. We were instructed to walk by her with bread, cheese, salami, cooked meat, or anything else she might be tempted to grab from a child, at nose level. She gets treats if she doesn't go for the tempting item.

Hopefully we have the impulse control training all figured out before the baby hits her teens.

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

The Bad Gerbils resculpted their bedding and tried to get out of their cage at the other end.

There are now two bricks on top of it, one on each side. Problem sorted - at least, until they work out how to use their water-bottle as a lever...

Posted by Huia (# 3473) on :

With this water bottle gerbils can move the world!

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Daughter number 3 and hubby had 2 scotty dogs; a black traditional one - the good one who always moved at a staid and dignified pace; and a curly haired white one who always seemed to be in perpetual motion. They were both superb vacuum cleaners, and were very good at cleaning up after children. The black one seemed to understand what was edible, but the white one didn't. Whatever was dropped was fair game. Shoes, plastic cups, foam or stuffed toys - and the day one of the chickens got out of the henhouse and dropped in front of her was not a good day for the chook.

We buried her yesterday in the garden under a fruit tree. Still not sure what she ate but it most certainly killed her. Not so much bad dog as dog with very bad judgement.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

[Frown]

You're having an awful time of it, aren't you? (((hugs)))

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

Lamb Chopped, it has not been a good three weeks, with human tragedies on each side of the family and now the pet as well. But I am grateful there is enough family support to help one another through it all. Sometimes such trials are a bit like going through a warzone together. Not that I can do much except pray and provide a few grace notes - like the daffodil bulbs for the top of the grave. They are white and curly edged, like the dog - but with a crazy bright orange centre.

Seems fitting!

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

A lovely idea.

Posted by Stercus Tauri (# 16668) on :

Evil, rotten cat went out to visit his friends across the road recently and came back with fleas. Do you know how fast those little buggers breed and spread? My legs look like a war zone and we've spent a colossal amount on sprays for the whole house and magic potions for the cat. Now he goes around with this smug look on his face.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

So you have a cat with flea-loading friends....

[Razz]

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Snork.

Posted by Jane R (# 331) on :

Meanwhile, two of our Bad Gerbils started ganging up on the third one and have had to be separated, requiring an expensive trip to the pet shop to buy another gerbilarium.

The Third Gerbil is now recuperating from a nasty-looking bite on the nose in her new deluxe home. The other two are in disgrace...

Posted by Ethne Alba (# 5804) on :

We have a large and a lovely azalea (apparently poisonous to dogs) which is now growing in a fenced off part of our already very small garden.

For all of his ten year long life, Bad Dog has devoured azalea flowers ~ ours, neighbours, azaleas poking through fences, ones found thrown out on rough ground. If it is there, he'll eat it. Flower, stem, leaves, soil around plant and roots.

He's never been ill either.

Posted by Beethoven (# 114) on :

Bad Puppy was in Op 1's bad books yesterday, as she walked into the bedroom and squatted on the rug with no warning. No sympathy from me, as pup is only 4 months old, so although she's pretty good in the house now she's not absolutely reliable. And Op1's room is a filthy pit, so no doubt is full of rank smells for a puppy nose.

Her worst habit at the moment is trying to hold Terrier-ist's lead when we're taking them for walks. It's cute, sure, but not good for the lead - or the Terrier-ist!

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

Bad kitten has developed a habit of digging out mastic, but we didn't know where he was getting it. Lord P came downstairs earlier and said he now knows why his bedroom is suddenly rather draughty - bad kitty has been pulling out the mastic from around his window frame, and also from around ours. Bad kitty and slightly older friend have also been wrecking the wallpaper in our hallway - she is a naughty tortie

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