Ship of Fools: um, I don't think that means what you think it means: a thread for teachers

Thread: um, I don't think that means what you think it means: a thread for teachers Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

Emerging briefly from a stack of 100 papers I'm grading this weekend. The tedium is alleviated by the occasional typo. Today I encountered this one that's particularly, if unintentionally, fun: in a reflection piece, the student affirmed her support for "ethical diversity". (Sounds like a really PC way of saying "I'm sort of a j******" [Big Grin]

).

What humorous/ appalling/ confusing/ intriguing typos have you encountered?

[ 16. April 2016, 13:38: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

Must they be student papers? I do recall one from years ago, when a student with no ear wrote:

quote:
She stood at the dock as the ship came in, waving like a flag in the wind.

There was also a confused person who wrote some dizzy disaster of a sentence that ended up (unintentionally) conveying the idea that his underwear had more than the usual number of holes in it, for unusual anatomical reasons (wish I could remember it word for word!); and the offensive use of general you, as in:

quote:
When you rape and murder,...

[ 16. April 2016, 16:48: Message edited by: Lamb Chopped ]

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Must they be student papers?

no limits!

quote:
Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
When you rape and murder,...

Well that is certainly... ethically diverse...

[ 16. April 2016, 17:11: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

Here's one for musicians.

In music, there is a variety of cadences - two chord combinations which act as "punctuation" in musical phrases. There is a variety of names for the four main ones, but an examination candidate invented another, when she described an interrupted cadence as "irritated."

[ 16. April 2016, 17:22: Message edited by: jacobsen ]

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

quote:
Originally posted by jacobsen:
she described an interrupted cadence as "irritated."

Our choral director differentiates between what he calls a "loud forte" and an "angry forte."

But getting back to student papers . . . "When Beethoven died, a violin thunderstorm broke out over the city."

Posted by M. (# 3291) on :

I think I've mentioned this one before. Many moons ago, I worked for an organisation that among other things sent people out to less-developed countries. Reading the standard contract, I discovered that employees were promised accommodation with sewage.

M.

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :

for Star Trek fans--

We had Moses leading the twelve tribbles across the wilderness.

And my personal favorite, a marketing postcard I was so tempted to leave uncorrected. In huge headline print:

We Believe in Nuturing Church Leaders!

Yeah, you just know I wanted to add an e. [Devil]

Posted by Trudy Scrumptious (# 5647) on :

One of my personal proudest internet moments was getting a sentence from one of my students' papers shared on the Tumblr "Sh*t My Students Write."

"If Caesar hadn't been killed, there would of been a lot less drama. And there may not even have been a play."

Posted by Jack the Lass (# 3415) on :

I have marked more than one paper about Khrushchev which waxed lyrical about his desalinisation programme. Who knew salt was such a huge problem in the Soviet Union?

Posted by Sandemaniac (# 12829) on :

Luckily my ability to spell* saved me from submitting an essay on agriculture in Latvia in which an errant spellchecker had done its damnedest to replace every incidemce of "Latvia", of which there were an understandable number, with "labia".

AG

*having said that, there has to be at least one typo in this post - especially as I am writing whilst knackered!

Posted by Firenze (# 619) on :

I'm sure I have mentioned before the impassioned sermon on the Last Times in which we were exhorted to have our lamps girt and our loins lit.

Posted by Leorning Cniht (# 17564) on :

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:

What humorous/ appalling/ confusing/ intriguing typos have you encountered?

I once encountered a student who was seeking gainful employment in the Department of Physics and Astrology. His star was not in the ascendant.

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

From the same stack of papers as that in the OP: "walking into the Catholic church, with the origin marry plastered on the wall... and satin glass windows..."

That was followed by an even more incomprehensible reference to "singing of hymns and bleeding the staple..."

Is that some new liturgical practice I'm unfamiliar with? Pricking your finger from the stapled liturgy to create a stigmata or something???

[ 16. April 2016, 21:28: Message edited by: cliffdweller ]

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sandemaniac:

*having said that, there has to be at least one typo in this post - especially as I am writing whilst knackered!

Of course there is -- "incidemce".

[Big Grin]

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Leorning Cniht:

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:

What humorous/ appalling/ confusing/ intriguing typos have you encountered?
I once encountered a student who was seeking gainful employment in the Department of Physics and Astrology. His star was not in the ascendant.

Presumably, however, he did not need to be told this?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

I can confess to one of my own. Well actually the group I was working with. I didn't make the typo myself. In our report on the Soviet Union, in conjunction with the five year plans I believe, we pointed out that "Actually, only a very small portion of the Soviet Union is flammable."

Posted by Cottontail (# 12234) on :

Not a typo, but my absolute favourite came from a student who was writing about gender sterotypes in a play:

At this point in the scene, John gives us a brief display of his manhood.

[Ultra confused]

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

What did Jesus say over the bread at the Last Supper?

Bring on the Branston.

Why did Jwsus die on the cross?

Because his heart stopped beating.

Posted by Moo (# 107) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
Not a typo, but my absolute favourite came from a student who was writing about gender sterotypes in a play:

At this point in the scene, John gives us a brief display of his manhood.

That reminds me of this.

The three witches exposed themselves to Macbeth.

Moo

Posted by Sarasa (# 12271) on :

My son always had an amanuensis when he did exams and chatting to his special needs teacher she told me of another student who insisted the word she wanted in her biology exam was fecal rather than fetal.

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jack the Lass:
I have marked more than one paper about Khrushchev which waxed lyrical about his desalinisation programme. Who knew salt was such a huge problem in the Soviet Union?

Anyone studying what's left of the Aral Sea. Though the first thing that came up to my brain - instantly - was Arthur Ransome's retelling of the Russian folk tale "Salt", a version of Lear with a happy ending.

Sorry for being littoral.

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :

"Henry VIII was the most powerful man in England and women were constantly losing their heads to him."

Written by a student trying to pad-out an essay on music at the Tudor court.

Posted by Trudy Scrumptious (# 5647) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Moo:

quote:
Originally posted by Cottontail:
Not a typo, but my absolute favourite came from a student who was writing about gender sterotypes in a play:

At this point in the scene, John gives us a brief display of his manhood.
That reminds me of this.

The three witches exposed themselves to Macbeth.

Moo

They actually do that quite literally in the Polanski film version.

Posted by Jonah the Whale (# 1244) on :

I'm sure it's not the first time and won't be the last, but I had to insert an apostrophe to prevent weeping Baptists in an order of service a few months ago: On Jordan's banks the Baptists cry.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Jonah the Whale:
... On Jordan's banks the Baptists cry ...

... if I were a Baptist, so would I
They drink no beer, they have no fun
I'm glad that I'm an Anglican!

[Big Grin]

Posted by basso (# 4228) on :

I've mentioned before a church bulletin that explained "Our Lenten array is of unbleached muslim."

Posted by Athrawes (# 9594) on :

Not a typo, but a Freudien Slip of sorts. I was reading with a student today and he confidently read the following: Many students work on Saturday to earn pocket monkeys. Cue much 10 year old hilarity. I know he would love to be earning pocket monkeys, as he's rather monkey - like himself. [Big Grin]

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:

quote:
Originally posted by Jonah the Whale:
... On Jordan's banks the Baptists cry ...
... if I were a Baptist, so would I
They drink no beer, they have no fun
I'm glad that I'm an Anglican!

Thanks, Piglet. You beat me to it. (Except it rightly reads 'they drink no GIN'! (At least the way we sang it at the seminary.)

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

The Anglicans I learnt it from must be a bit lower down the candle than yours ... [Big Grin]

Posted by mdijon (# 8520) on :

A medical paper needed a reference to a treatment plan asking nurses to implement "careful daily bone distraction by tightening the distractors" but instead found their way to asking the nurses for "careful daily bone destruction by tightening the destructors".

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mdijon:
A medical paper needed a reference to a treatment plan asking nurses to implement "careful daily bone distraction by tightening the distractors" but instead found their way to asking the nurses for "careful daily bone destruction by tightening the destructors".

Even the non-typo sounds funny to this layperson: nurses need to
distract bones? Have they tried waving shiny objects or making rude noises???

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