Ship of Fools: I’m from the Vatican, you’re f*cked

Thread: I’m from the Vatican, you’re f*cked Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :

It seems that a vicar from north London has been trying to emulate a former bishop of Southwark. [Disappointed]

The latter may have become most famous for his catchphrase "I'm the Bishop of Southwark. It's what I do" though "I’m from the Vatican, you’re f*cked" doesn't quite have the same sort of panache about it.

If you or your vicar/bishop/pastor/priest/minister (delete per denominational preference) were to be found in a similarly combative and inebriated mode, what gems of wisdom might the arresting officer expect? [Two face]

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :

"I have seen visions".

Posted by cliffdweller (# 13338) on :

"I'm not drunk, it's only 9 o'clock in the morning..."

Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on :

The Lord has sent you to rescue me from these turbulent paramedics. Do your duty!

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by cliffdweller:
"I'm not drunk, it's only 9 o'clock in the morning..."

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

quote:
‘I’m not sure if he has anything to do with the Vatican because he is with the Church of England. There’s no relationship between those two religions.’

Posted by Og, King of Bashan (# 9562) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:

quote:
‘I’m not sure if he has anything to do with the Vatican because he is with the Church of England. There’s no relationship between those two religions.’

Oldest trick in the book, that. If you are out with a group of fellow teenager marauders causing mischief and the adult who catches you red handed asks what school you go to, always tell them the name of the rival high school.

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

According to the 19 Articles, the Bishop of Rome has no jurisdiction here.

Posted by ThunderBunk (# 15579) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
According to the 19 Articles, the Bishop of Rome has no jurisdiction here.

What happened to the other 20? Is this a 50% reduction?

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by ThunderBunk:

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
According to the 19 Articles, the Bishop of Rome has no jurisdiction here.
What happened to the other 20? Is this a 50% reduction?

Special offer - or typo

Posted by venbede (# 16669) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
It seems that a vicar from north London

Ilford is not North London, where we are all quietly eating our museli and yogurt. (or we did when I left there six years ago.)

It's the Bishop of Chelmsford's problem, poor man.

Posted by Wesley J (# 6075) on :

I love the wording, 'a binge of Bibical proportions'! [Devil]

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :

I was wondering what his clerical frock looked like.

Posted by Piglet (# 11803) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
I love the wording, 'a binge of Bibical proportions'!

Those Biblical chaps had quite a capacity, as attested by the story of the wedding at Cana:

quote:

And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins* apiece.

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.

* According to Wiki, a firkin is about 9 gallons. [Eek!]

Posted by simwel (# 12214) on :

While not advocating this activity,perhaps it serves as a useful astringent to the prevailing "earnest gentility" of those priests who have received their calling rather later in life after they have sorted out children's education,home and pension pot!

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :

quote:
Originally posted by venbede:

quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
It seems that a vicar from north London
Ilford is not North London, where we are all quietly eating our museli and yogurt. (or we did when I left there six years ago.)

It's the Bishop of Chelmsford's problem, poor man.

This quote from the linked article caused me to spew my coffee:
'Mr Pollock mounted the violent vicar in the street'
I hope someone filmed that bit!

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :

quote:
Originally posted by georgiaboy:
This quote from the linked article caused me to spew my coffee:
'Mr Pollock mounted the violent vicar in the street'
I hope someone filmed that bit!

Especially since he was reported to be wearing "his clerical frock."
[Big Grin]

Posted by Jengie jon (# 273) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Piglet:

quote:
Originally posted by Wesley J:
I love the wording, 'a binge of Bibical proportions'!
Those Biblical chaps had quite a capacity, as attested by the story of the wedding at Cana:

quote:

And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins* apiece.

Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
* According to Wiki, a firkin is about 9 gallons.

Why the

? Central to the parable is the overwhelming nature of the miracle. He does not just supply wine, its the best wine and in abundance.

Jengie

Posted by Golden Key (# 1468) on :

And because His mom complained. [Smile]

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by venbede:

quote:
Originally posted by Sipech:
It seems that a vicar from north London
It's the Bishop of Chelmsford's problem, poor man.

Or maybe a flying bishop since the church is anglo-catholic.

The press report says he is vicar of 'St. Mary and the Virgin'. How many virgins do you need?

Posted by Galilit (# 16470) on :

72.
So we have Mary, this unnamed one and 69 to find.

Posted by balaam (# 4543) on :

quote:
Originally posted by leo:
The press report says he is vicar of 'St. Mary and the Virgin'. How many virgins do you need?

The extra one is to put in the olive oil.

... I'll get me coat ...

Posted by Curiosity killed ... (# 11770) on :

The Bishop of Chelmsford can delegate this one to the Area Bishop of Barking.

The church website says St Mary the Virgin is part of the CofE and in Barking. Chelmsford Diocese is administered as three areas of which Barking is the most westerly.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Galilit:
72.
So we have Mary, this unnamed one and 69 to find.

Mary: 1
Unnamed one: 1
69 to find : 69
TOTAL: 71.

[Confused]

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by Galilit:
72.
So we have Mary, this unnamed one and 69 to find.
Mary: 1
Unnamed one: 1
69 to find : 69
TOTAL: 71.

You need to find 72.
minus Mary = 71
minus the unnamed one = 70
remainder 69.

(Yes I know.)

Posted by venbede (# 16669) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
The Bishop of Chelmsford can delegate this one to the Area Bishop of Barking.

The church website says St Mary the Virgin is part of the CofE and in Barking. Chelmsford Diocese is administered as three areas of which Barking is the most westerly.

I looked at the website. There was a reference to the Bishop of Richborough.

I find it very sad that "anglo catholic" is taken to mean "no women priests".

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

quote:
Originally posted by venbede:

quote:
Originally posted by Curiosity killed ...:
The Bishop of Chelmsford can delegate this one to the Area Bishop of Barking.

The church website says St Mary the Virgin is part of the CofE and in Barking. Chelmsford Diocese is administered as three areas of which Barking is the most westerly.
I looked at the website. There was a reference to the Bishop of Richborough.

I find it very sad that "anglo catholic" is taken to mean "no women priests".

In agree. Though to be fair to them, they have apage on their website called 'anglo catholism? which points out that there sre difference between anglo-catholics on this and other issues. It gives quite fair account of the history of the movement.

Quite unlike those who accuse affcaths as being mere 'liberals in vestments'.

Posted by Chesterbelloc (# 3128) on :

I always preferred "modernists in maniples" myself... [Devil]

Posted by leo (# 1458) on :

well this guy also wears a biretta - not seen those since Vatican 2

[ 06. June 2016, 18:50: Message edited by: leo ]

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :

If you'd like to discuss ecclesiastical fashions or muse on church traditions, there are well-established areas for that sort of thing further down the boards ↓

Cheers

Ariel
Heaven Host

Posted by Amanda B. Reckondwythe (# 5521) on :

So, getting back to the original question posed at the beginning of the thread:

quote:
If you or your vicar/bishop/pastor/priest/minister (delete per denominational preference) were to be found in a similarly combative and inebriated mode, what gems of wisdom might the arresting officer expect?

It'sh OK, offisher. I have a shpeshial dishpenshation from the Pope.

Posted by DonLogan2 (# 15608) on :

Has to be the classic from Withnail & I...

"We want the finest wines available to humanity. And we want them here, and we want them now!"

Posted by Doublethink. (# 1984) on :

I was sleep walking and accidentally consecrated the contents of the whole of the public bar, so then I had to drink that which remained unconsumed ...

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