Thread: Rolling quatrains Board: Oblivion / Ship of Fools.
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Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
I think we've had this one before. In this pattern, There are four lines, and only lines two and four have to rhyme. In this version, each new quatrain will begin with the last line of the previous one, e.g. -
Mary had a little lamb,
It's fleece was white as snow,
And every where that Mary went
The lamb was sure to go.
The lamb was sure to go because
It felt a sudden need
Which was so urgent, that, poor thing,
It galloped out at speed.
It galloped out at speed, you see...
You get the idea. Shall we continue?
It galloped out at speed, you see
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
It galloped out at speed, you see
because it was so thirsty
It knew that Mary bought her milk
from somebody named Kirsty
From somebody named kirsty, she'd buy
Posted by The Phantom Flan Flinger (# 8891) on
:
From somebody named Kirsty, she'd buy
her eggs and butter and flour.
She took them home to make a cake,
That took around an hour.
That took around an hour, but...
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
That took about an hour, but
The cake refused to rise,
So crafty Mary reworked the dough
To make a pudding in disguise.
To make a pudding in disguise
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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To make a pudding in disguise
Is quite a blunt deception.
But though she'd lived an honest life
She'd now make one exception
She'd now make one exception, since...
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
She'd now make one exception just
For something good to nosh.
So Mary phoned Nigella* up
And offered loads of dosh.
And offered loads of dosh to her
*Well-known UK cook who adores sweet stuff.
Posted by Gamaliel (# 812) on
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And offered loads of dosh to her
To Rick Stein and to Jamie,
If they could recommend some wine
That wasn't stale and same-y
That wasn't stale and same-y now ...
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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That wasn't stale and same-y now
"Try this", they said. She drank
but knew she'd made a big mistake
It was completely rank.
It was completely rank, so she
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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It was completely rank, so she
Tipped it in the Christmas Punch;
Added vodka, ale and whiskey
to make a liquid lunch.
To make a liquid lunch that was
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
:
To make a liquid lunch that was
a fitting gift for Santa
she added shots of turpentine
and just a touch of Fanta.
And just a touch of Fanta was
[ 30. November 2015, 04:51: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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And just a touch of Fanta was
The cruel final straw.
Not a man could face it
So she gave it to the poor.
So she gave it to the poor, good sirs
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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So she gave it to the poor, good sirs,
To soothe her aching guilt.
But as she doled the helpings out
She spilled some on her kilt.
She spilled some on her kilt, and so...
Posted by Gamaliel (# 812) on
:
She spilled some on her kilt, and so
She mopped it with her sporran,
Scraped off dry flakes with her skean-dhu
And took off in her toboggan -
And took off in her toboggan so fast ...
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
:
She took off in her toboggan so fast
It hurtled through the snow,
Causing all of Santa's helpers to shout
"Look at Mary go!"
"Look at Mary go!", they cheered,
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
"Look at Mary go!", they cheered
"Ah yes", said Santa, "I
remember giving her that sledge
way back in '95".
"Way back in '95, it was
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Way back in '95, I did
And she's sledged ever since.
She based herself at Chamonix
And hoped to meet a prince.
Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on
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She led Prince Ted a merry dance
Across the frozen soil
Until a snowdrift swallowed him
To make a popstick royal
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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To make a popstick royal and to
make Mary very bitter
but all was soon forgotten when
arrived the new road gritter
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Arrived the new road gritter, so
Our Mary took a jaunt
As far as distant gay Paree
Which was a fav'rite haunt.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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Which was a fav'rite haunt at which
arrived she just in time
As poor Jean-Paul was stuck in snow
a nearby clock did chime
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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A nearby clock did chime, which told them
That the hour was late.
They looked around to find an inn
But failure was their fate
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
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But failure was their fate, my friends,
and, though they seldom feigned fear,
the terrifying outcome was
they were trampled by a reindeer.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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They were trampled by a reindeer, they were
and Santa cried, "Oh no!
I've told you many times, Rudolph
that 'stop' does not mean 'go'".
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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That 'stop' does not mean 'go' should tell you
Simply watch your nose.
You just attracted six points
Any more - your licence goes!*
*The UK points system of driver penalties. There are only 12 points to play with.
Posted by Smudgie (# 2716) on
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Any more, your license goes, alas,
and nothing can replace it.
Unless you don your walking boots:
On foot you could just pace it.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
On foot you could just pace it, though
you may come over queasy
The trouble with you youngsters is
you've had it far too easy.
Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on
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You've had it far too easy, cuz'
Your parents spared the rod.
And taught you not the sanctity
of gambling, golf, and God.
Of gambling, golf, and God
[ 17. December 2015, 15:17: Message edited by: Stetson ]
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Of gambling, golf and God I find
The first two, simply boring.
To God, however, now and then,
My praise and thanks are soaring.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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My praise and thanks are soaring, so I
wrote some songs of praise.
When Graham Kendrick heard my songs,
he hid inside a maze
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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He hid inside a maze, poor sod,
His hands about his head.
"These songs have overtaken mine,
I'll be a chef instead."
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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"I'll be a chef instead, when I
have got free from this maze".
So Graham's now in training
at a restaurant in Grays.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
"Don't say it's Heston Blumenthal
But rather sweet Nigella.
I'd rather be her employee
Than that of any fella."
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
"Than that of any fella, is this
true what I do hear?",
said Gordon Ramsey angrily,
and then broke down in tears.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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And then broke down in tears, until
They dripped right off his chin.
And kept on trickling till they filled
Miss Berry's roasting tin.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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Miss Berry's roasting tin was in
the oven twenty minutes
"Oh Mummy, I don't want to eat
this cake - it has tears in it".
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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This cake - it has tears in it,"
At which complaint, his mum
Replied, "My darling silly boy
Each tear is but a crumb."
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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Each tear is but a crumb - I want
to see that plate left clean
and if that cake is not consumed
you don't get any greens.
Posted by Dal Segno (# 14673) on
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You don't get any Greens, my boy,
no Liberals, and no Socialists
Only right-wing politicians,
beholden to some Capitalists.
Posted by Chorister (# 473) on
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Beholden to some Capitalists, aye
Who persuade you to make money,
From keeping bees that sting you so
In order to make honey.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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In order to make honey, child,
You need at least one hive.
But it will never make you money
However hard you strive.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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However hard you strive
your biggest market will be bears
but these days they're all unemployed
The money's just not there.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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The money's just not there, my dear
So give up on the honey
Or homeless you will end at last,
And trust me, that's not funny.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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And trust me, that's not funny dear
Cold and wet and lonely,
Begging for some handouts
You'll soon see they were phoney.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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You'll soon see they were phoney
when you walk into a shop
believing you will eat at last
but then your bubble pops
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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But then your bubble pops
As the server says, 'get out!
You can't have any of my fine items,
You loathsome, lazy lout!'
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
You loathesome, lazy lout, I say
Come back when you are clean.
I'm not employing dirty boys -
You know just what I mean.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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You know just what I mean, my boy,
Just gather up your rags and go,
Go down to the raging river bank
Perhaps to dip a toe.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Perhaps to dip a toe, you say?
Now that is not enough.
The nooks and crannies purified,
And no more navel fluff.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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And no more navel fluff, oh dear,
What will his mother say?
She always treasured such to keep
Just for a rainy day!
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Just for a rainy day, you know;
A pillow stuffed, or two.
Thus we reduce our household bills
Avoiding costly down.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Avoiding costly down, you see,
Is what it's all about,
That's how we can afford to buy
A lovely, tasty trout.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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A lovely, tasty trout - It makes
a change from bread and cheese
Before we lost our fishing rods
we had it when we pleased
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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We had it when we pleased, indeed,
Though still preferred hot stew,
Until that really tragic time
It got thrown over you!
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Till it got thrown over you, my dear,
And left you red and raw
With vegetable tendrils
Festooned upon your head.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Festooned upon your head they lie,
Looking oh so pretty
That when the poet saw them
He wrote a little ditty.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
He wrote a little ditty, then
Which, when translated, said:
How lovely are the veggies, dear,
Festooned upon your head.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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Festooned upon your head, my dear,
But surely it is time
To throw them on the compost heap
While you're still in your prime.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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"While you're still in your prime", she said
"No no!", the poet yelled
"You can't destroy this work of art
For millions it could sell".
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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"For millions it would sell?" she jeered
"But this is self delusion.
Your mouldy veggies worth a lot?
You're suff'ring from confusion."
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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You're suff'ring from confusion, lad,
Just go and take a rest.
Perhaps just get your hat and coat
And don't forget your vest.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
"And don't forget your vest". These words
were ringing in his ears
as to the pub he made his way
and lost count of his beers.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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And lost count of his beers, so sad,
He didn't know his plight,
He staggered, fell and moaned out loud,
Before he saw the light.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
Before he saw the light, he woke up
on a railway line
but luckily he got out of the train's path
just in time.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Just in time the lucky lad
Though hellishly hungover
Retained enough capacity
To clamber under cover
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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To clamber under cover
Even if it caused him pain,
As he didn't wish to be just squished
By the speeding heavy train.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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For the speeding heavy train would be
For him too much to bear.
Whereas he could appreciate
A slow train's crunch and tear.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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A slow trains's crunch and tear
Oh what an honour that would be
To die like Great-Great Grandad did
in 1923.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But oh, in 1923
The paramedics weren't.
So our young hero quite escaped
And wasn't even burnt.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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And wasn't even burnt, thank God,
He really was quite brave,
Unlike lots of other men
Who just hid in a cave.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Who just hid in a cave I ask?
For sure, 'twas not our hero.
He pranced off with a comely nurse
Whose common sense was zero.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Whose common sense was zero, why,
I can't believe it's true,
She thought that if she tagged along
She'd get a tasty brew.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
She'd get a tasty brew? poor lass
Her chance of that was nil.
And had he made a pot of tea
It would have made her ill.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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It would have made her ill, no doubt
I speak as one who knows
He once made me a cup of tea
It left me comatose.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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It left me comatose, you know
To lie upon my bed
And when the undertaker came
He said that I was dead
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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He said that I was dead, oh dear,
Oh what a nasty shock.
As if that wasn't bad enough,
The nurse came back to mock!
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
The nurse came back to mock. She said
"I'll stick to orange juice
I don't know which is worse
To die from tea or by the noose".
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
To die by tea or by the noose
Is hardly what I'd pick.
The object is to end up dead,
Not woeful, sad and sick.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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Not woeful, sad or sick,
Surely I won't choose,
I'll head off to the pub
And settle for the booze.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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I'll settle for the booze, you bet
And down one double quick."
He did, and waking up next day
Was woeful, sad and sick!
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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Woeful, sad and sick, he vowed
"I won't do that again"
His friends knew though
that it was not a case of 'if' but 'when'.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
'Twas not a case of if, but when
His firm resolve would waver,
As many resolutions do;
So his soon lost its savour.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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So his soon lost its savour, shame,
He could not quite resist,
But this time t'was the brandy
That got him in a twist.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
That got him in a twist, you see
When followed with a double.
His friends viewed with prophetic gloom
The swift ensuing trouble.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
The swift ensuing trouble when he
visited the vicar
began when, in the vicarage
he caught sight of some liquor.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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He caught sight of some liquor and
Was utterly entranced.
So,leaping on a table, he
Recited, sang and danced.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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He recited, sang and danced
Oh what a silly fool
The vicar said get out of here
And go and shoot some pool
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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Yes, go and shoot some pool, but through
His drunk misunderstanding,
He aimed his rifle at the pool
And shot it from the landing.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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He shot it from the landing
and it started a tsunami
A woman cried out
"This is not the time for origami!"
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Not the time for origami
Or so it seems to me.
Just come with me, mon ami
And my etchings you shall see.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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My etchings you shall see
But quickly, step onto my boat
and it will take us
to my studio in John O'Groats.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
My studio in John o' Groats
Is not so far from here.
A mere hundred and fifty miles
A snip, if t'weather's clear.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
:
A snip if tweather's clear
But longer if it's bad
Please come and see my etchings
(oh dear I'm such a cad!)
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Oh dear, I'm such a cad.
But little does he know
My caddishness is worse than his
And ready for to go.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
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And ready for to go, you know,
I've already made my plan
To steal his so-called etchings
And sell them, if I can.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
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There is an art black market
Where I can take his stuff.
With luck I'll make sufficient dosh
Though bargaining is tough.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
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Though bargaining is tough with
Mr Dodgy in his shop
we finally agree a price
At last the haggling's stopped.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
At last the haggling's stopped.
I'll take the dosh and run.
Retirement in the sunny south
Could be a lot of fun.
Posted by Doone (# 18470) on
:
Could be a lot of fun, you know,
Lots of swimming in the sea
As long as I am home again
In time to have my tea.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
In time to have my tea? In fact
It's best combined with gin.
So make my tea a G&T
For surely that's no sin.
Posted by bib (# 13074) on
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For surely that's no sin
And will not incur the wrath,
And then I'll settle for my bed
After a nice hot bath
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
After a nice hot bath, you see,
I'll settle to my bed.
But, who should I find snoozing there
But my old school chum, Fred.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
My old school chum, Fred, woke up
I asked, "Why are you here?
He said, "I need somewhere to sleep
but hotels are too dear".
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
But hotels are too dear? Oh please!
Just try Airbnb.
It can work out much cheaper, dear;
Experiment - you'll see.
Posted by jrw (# 18045) on
:
"Experiment - you'll see", I said
But listen he would not
I hear my neighbours found him
sleeping in their baby's cot.
Posted by jacobsen (# 14998) on
:
Sleeping in their baby's cot, with babe
There with him, sucking thumb.
He was so scrunched and cramped, his head
Was jammed against his tum.
[ 13. May 2016, 20:58: Message edited by: jacobsen ]
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