quote:

---

Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
This is for random weirdness you hear or over hear.

Tonight my son, apropos of nothing, said: "It smells like rectangles in here."

---

Sounds like synesthesia.
 

---

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Could be. It runs in the family. I should ask him.

It could also be a desire to freak me out.
 

---

Posted by Schroedinger's cat (# 64) on :
 
In the work kitchen yesterday, someone came in to hear the phrase "The one with a leather strap and feathers". TBH, as I was in the kitchen for the whole conversation, it didn't make much more sense.
 

---

Posted by Sipech (# 16870) on :
 
I was a folk gig last night and one of the acts tried to persuade us "if you love someone, give them a chicken."

I'm not convinced.
 

---

Posted by Bishops Finger (# 5430) on :
 
Synesthesia is fun. Today is Wednesday, which is bright yellow.

IJ
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
"The thing I'll always remember about Maurice is his hatchet face and pencil moustache."
 

---

Posted by Penny S (# 14768) on :
 
I heard a teenage girl explaining to her mother as she passed: "Those primary school children, they can spell diarrhoea. I can't spell diarrhoea."

And I'm still wishing I knew the context. This was near Dulwich, and the accent you might expect there. (Cross pond - middle class of the UK sort, educated, and not in your average all comers school.)
 

---

Posted by Sparrow (# 2458) on :
 
Conversation between two women behind me on the bus: "She worked for the National Society for the Prevention of Children."

(n.b. for Americans: over here we have (or had, I don't know what it is called now) the National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.)
 

---

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
That follows nicely a TV advert (for, I think, washing capsules) I saw twice last night, which ends by saying, "Always keep away from children".

[ 16. November 2016, 13:58: Message edited by: Baptist Trainfan ]
 

---

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Sparrow:
Conversation between two women behind me on the bus: "She worked for the National Society for the Prevention of Children."

---

Could have been thinking of Marie Stopes, or the Pregnancy Advisory Service, perhaps?
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Some years ago sitting on a bus with a friend with a full-spine (milwaukee) brace, two ladies behind us didn't even lower their voices when discussing what might be the reason for the metalwork, finishing off with "I 'spect she's one of those plastics - its marvellous what they can do with them now"
 

---

Posted by Graven Image (# 8755) on :
 
Conversation I had as a lunch time greeter at the local senior center.

Lady came through the door and asked, "Are they having fish today, cause I don't like fish, don't eat it."

Me. "No, the meal today is meat loaf and mashed potatoes."

Lady turning to leave, " I will not be staying then. I thought it was fish."
 

---

Posted by Sioni Sais (# 5713) on :
 
Also on a bus, somewhere in London. Two women chatting: "She's had a baby boy. I can't remember his name, it's one of those new-fangled ones, Benjamin or Adam."
 

---

Posted by Ariel (# 58) on :
 
(Passing by a couple chatting) "Yes, but Toby has a dong the size of Great Britain."
 

---

Posted by Brenda Clough (# 18061) on :
 

 

---

Posted by DonLogan2 (# 15608) on :
 
We have 3x A3 size sheets of paper in our church office with all these odd snippets of conversations such as;

"[This] church is an experiment in not being dead.."

or

"The problem with [this denomination] is that there is a lack of communication..." [muffled voice from me next door in the prayer room] "No it isn`t!"

or

"He just swans in here does his business and then leaves..."
 

---

Posted by L'organist (# 17338) on :
 
Overheard conversation about a mutual friend suddenly widdowed: She's fine. You've got to admit, she's a natural widow.
 

---

Posted by Baptist Trainfan (# 15128) on :
 
Heard (not by me) on a steam heritage railway many years ago:

Passenger to volunteer: "Can we get on the train now, or do we have to wait for it to arrive?"

And I heard the following conversation on the Bluebell Railway as locomotive no. 75027 (green, pulling coal tender behind it) arrived in Kingscote station:

Mother to 4-year old daughter: "Look! Here comes Thomas!"

Daughter to mother (scathingly as only a small girl can be): "That's not Thomas, it's Gordon".
 

---

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Love these.
 

---

Posted by Kelly Alves (# 2522) on :
 
Years back I was watching two seven year old boys toss a foursquare ball back and forth, silently, on the lawn of the after school center where I was working. After a minute one of them held the ball after he caught it, said the phrase, "The udder of a cow," in a sort of radio announcer voice, and then went back to tossing as if nothing had happened.

Blink. Blink. I walked over.

"Excuse me, guys, I don't mean to interrupt you, I just to make sure I am not hearing things. E., did you just say,'the udder of a cow'"?

They both looked at each other and began to smirk and giggle, then shrugged at me.

"Ok, thanks. At least I know I'm not going crazy. Next question: why did you say that? You're not in trouble or anything, I'm just curious."

E. told this convoluted story about the two of them tossing around a party balloon at school, and at some point the other boy stopped and began pulling the tied end as if he were milking it, giving birth to the catch phrase.
 

---

Posted by churchgeek (# 5557) on :
 
Back in 2009, I was walking home from my MA graduation (from Berkeley to Oakland, CA), and smiled and nodded at a man who was leaving a building and heading for his car. He greeted me back, so I said, "How ya doin'?" To which he replied: "Better than most!" [slight pause] "No one's shootin' at me!"

I hadn't realized until then that most people are being shot at.

I wish I remembered the exact details now, but once I was on a bus in Oakland, and heard two people behind me, a woman and a man. He was apparently from Eritrea; I assume from her accent she was native to the Bay Area. At one point, she asked him how many kids he had, and he said something like 50. (That's the detail I don't remember - maybe it was more.) And she didn't react with surprise at all, just kept conversing as though it were perfectly normal to have 50 kids! Obviously, not all of them with one woman. I'm guessing.
 

---

Posted by Lamb Chopped (# 5528) on :
 
Heheheh. Maybe he was a school administrator and she was asking about the school population.
 

---

Posted by georgiaboy (# 11294) on :
 
Alright, this is apocryphal so maybe it doesn't count, but ...

Three senior ladies on a London bus:
Lady 1: Pardon, is this Wembley?
Lady 2: No dear, it's Thursday.
Lady 3: So am I. There's a pub, let's have a pint.

Heard I-don't-remember-where and a long time ago.
 

---

Posted by St. Gwladys (# 14504) on :
 
Similar to the story of the two Valleys ladies talking about fabrics in the old Pontypridd street market:
"Pink I do like but purple I do rather, but puce, oh Duce, I do go scatty over puce"
(Translation out of Wenglish - I like pink but prefer purple but my favourite colour is puce")
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by georgiaboy:
Alright, this is apocryphal so maybe it doesn't count, but ...

Three senior ladies on a London bus:
Lady 1: Pardon, is this Wembley?
Lady 2: No dear, it's Thursday.
Lady 3: So am I. There's a pub, let's have a pint.

Heard I-don't-remember-where and a long time ago.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pigwidgeon:

quote:

---

Originally posted by georgiaboy:
Alright, this is apocryphal so maybe it doesn't count, but ...

Three senior ladies on a London bus:
Lady 1: Pardon, is this Wembley?
Lady 2: No dear, it's Thursday.
Lady 3: So am I. There's a pub, let's have a pint.

Heard I-don't-remember-where and a long time ago.

---

I seem to recall reading that in a book by P.G. Wodehouse.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Baptist Trainfan:
That follows nicely a TV advert (for, I think, washing capsules) I saw twice last night, which ends by saying, "Always keep away from children".

---

[serious tangent]I believe this is related to the recent spate of deaths of small children eating 'liquitabs', which contain extremely caustic detergent, because they are bright and shiny and look like sweets. I don't think (hope) it's advice about not washing your babies[/serious tangent]

In a more cheery vein, I was once on a bus not really listening to the conversation behind me, but caught the ending: "hold on, you're talking about my sister, and I'm talking about my duvet". The mind boggles.

[ 17. November 2016, 19:32: Message edited by: ArachnidinElmet ]
 

---

Posted by North East Quine (# 13049) on :
 
Man ahead of me in queue at butcher: I'd like to have a heart and a couple of dozen teeth for Thursday, please.

(I asked him what he was planning to cook and it turned out he was a biology teacher ordering supplies.)
 

---

Posted by Pigwidgeon (# 10192) on :
 
Shortly before Halloween I was in the grocery store. A man further up the aisle went up to a woman stocking shelves with candy and asked her where to find something. She very nicely explained that she didn't know. "I don't work for the store," she said, "I'm from Mars."

(I realized that she meant the Mars Candy Company, but I thanked her for the laugh.)
 

---

Posted by Margaret (# 283) on :
 
My mother had a pampered and very picky cat who wouldn't eat cat food but preferred ox or lamb hearts, so she had to chop them up for it. My grandmother lived with us and one day her doctor called while my mother was feeding the cat, so she went to the door absent-mindedly clutching the bloodied knife. The doctor looked at it in some surprise and she said hastily, "Oh, I was only cutting up the cat's heart."
 

---

Posted by Stetson (# 9597) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ariel:
(Passing by a couple chatting) "Yes, but Toby has a dong the size of Great Britain."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lamb Chopped:
Heheheh. Maybe he was a school administrator and she was asking about the school population.

---

© Ship of Fools 2016


UBB.classic^TM 6.5.0