Ship of Fools: I have a dream .......

Thread: I have a dream ....... Board: Rusted Farm Implement / Ship of Fools.

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Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

So, my fellow Hosts, we have been trapped in this tiny space. Likened to a dusty lamp, the tiny space under the Stairs and in **** smaller than the bathroom in my first flat (In which you could have a shit, wash your hands and put the kettle on in the kitchen all at the same time).

How do we break forth?

How to break these battleship chains forged in the pit? How to bring the glowing light of fungal algae into the open spaces of the Ship?

What spell must we cast, what Virgin must we deflower (if we can find one), what deal must me make so that we may be free?

Underlings please feel free to make suggestions too.

Plus we want no stinking chocolate, just send us cash.

All the Beast, Pyx_e

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

You know, I was just wondering if somebody would be organizing a proper resistance, or if I'd have to do it myself . . .

Specializing in tactical poetry, projected mayhem, and ostentatiously titling verbosity—Lt. Astuanax, reporting for duty, sirs!

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:

All the Beast, Pyx_e

There, I knew he'd out himself eventually.

Posted by Banner Lady (# 10505) on :

What a chance to play cluedo. We could find bodies EVERYWHERE!

It was the host. In the garden. With a rusted farm implement...

Now if I was a host, I'd create a library, a kitchen, a hallway, a conservatory...oh, you get the idea Pyx-e, go to and grow your evil empire!

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Speak for yourself. I'll take chocolate.

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

Chocolate from here invariably ends up melted.

How about golf balls?

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

I have no use for golf balls, having balls of my own and not playing golf. A coupon for chocolate would surely not be amiss. Barring that, sigh, I suppose cash would have to suffice. Preferably bouillon.

Posted by iGeek (# 777) on :

Noted.

Gold or platinum?

[ 09. May 2011, 16:25: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by Molopata The Rebel (# 9933) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
A coupon for chocolate would surely not be amiss. Barring that, sigh, I suppose cash would have to suffice. Preferably bouillon.

We do both here. [Big Grin]

Posted by FooloftheShip (# 15579) on :

Is someone thinking of making soup?

Posted by Alfred E. Neuman (# 6855) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
So, my fellow Hosts, we have been trapped in this tiny space. Likened to a dusty lamp, the tiny space under the Stairs...

Yeah, we can't even access the Hosts Lounge. What's with that? The only reason I wanted this job was to eavesdrop on inner-sanctum gossip.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

I know!
I get "promoted" to Circus host, and first thing I do is to go to the lounge and try to schmooze it up, say flattering things to everyone involved . . . nope, no such dice.

Well then. I would have asked nicely how to use my newfound powers—but now? Drunk with power, mad with blood!

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

You think you even get mentioned in the Host's Lounge? How arrogant is that? Why, who are you both anyway? Have we met?

Posted by Alfred E. Neuman (# 6855) on :

Typical woman assuming I'd want to hear gossip about me. It's REAL hosts I want dirt on, silly girl.

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

Well, yeah. Personally I'd like the dirt on TonyK. His mild-mannered hosting doesn't fool me one bit, no-sirree-bob. He's bound to be one drinkin', cussin', wenchin' carouser, that one. [Cool]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Anybody who uses "no-siree-bob" in a sentence is okay with me. My grandparents used to pronounce it "no-sir-REE-bob" with the accent on the 3rd syllable. Took me forever to figure out what the actual wording was.

Then my grandfather used to say, "Holy mackel-Andy." Which I still don't get.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Anybody who uses "no-siree-bob" in a sentence is okay with me. My grandparents used to pronounce it "no-sir-REE-bob" with the accent on the 3rd syllable. Took me forever to figure out what the actual wording was.

Then my grandfather used to say, "Holy mackel-Andy." Which I still don't get.

. . . wait, it's not four words after all? I'm pretty sure this is like "chitterlings," then—how the word is pronounced is nothing at all like how it is written.

[ 09. May 2011, 20:50: Message edited by: AristonAstuanax ]

Posted by TonyK (# 35) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Lyda*Rose:
Well, yeah. Personally I'd like the dirt on TonyK. His mild-mannered hosting doesn't fool me one bit, no-sirree-bob. He's bound to be one drinkin', cussin', wenchin' carouser, that one.

Damn - how on earth did she find out???? That CIA must have been talking to MI5 again! Super-injunctions don't seem to mean a thing anymore!!!

[Paranoid]

FTR I'll admit happily to the first (but only to the extent allowed by St. Paul!); very seldom the second; certainly not the third (Mrs TonyK might see this!); and the fourth only to the extent covered by the first. So there!

But that Lyda*Rose!! Perhaps she works on the basis that attack is the best possible defence!

ETA further thoughts

[ 09. May 2011, 22:28: Message edited by: TonyK ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Anybody who uses "no-siree-bob" in a sentence is okay with me. My grandparents used to pronounce it "no-sir-REE-bob" with the accent on the 3rd syllable. Took me forever to figure out what the actual wording was.

Then my grandfather used to say, "Holy mackel-Andy." Which I still don't get.
. . . wait, it's not four words after all? I'm pretty sure this is like "chitterlings," then—how the word is pronounced is nothing at all like how it is written.

Which one's not four words?

Chitterlings is confusing, but not one you run into very often. If you read a certain type of book, however, victuals will trip you up. Nautically, boatswain and forecastle will not give away their proper pronunciation.

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:

quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Anybody who uses "no-siree-bob" in a sentence is okay with me. My grandparents used to pronounce it "no-sir-REE-bob" with the accent on the 3rd syllable. Took me forever to figure out what the actual wording was.

Then my grandfather used to say, "Holy mackel-Andy." Which I still don't get.
. . . wait, it's not four words after all? I'm pretty sure this is like "chitterlings," then—how the word is pronounced is nothing at all like how it is written.
Which one's not four words?

Chitterlings is confusing, but not one you run into very often. If you read a certain type of book, however, victuals will trip you up. Nautically, boatswain and forecastle will not give away their proper pronunciation.

"No sir-ree BOB!"
Fo'csle and bosun are a bit odd—and your thought that "chitlin's" isn't common reveals what part of the country you're not from.

Come on, boy! Didn't you ever buy yourself a big ol' bag of pork rinds from the gas station before a road trip?

Posted by Lyda*Rose (# 4544) on :

TonyK:

quote:
Damn - how on earth did she find out????

Vee have our vays. [Snigger]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

quote:
Originally posted by AristonAstuanax:
Come on, boy! Didn't you ever buy yourself a big ol' bag of pork rinds from the gas station before a road trip?

No. They're nasty.

Posted by Barnabas62 (# 9110) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
You think you even get mentioned in the Host's Lounge? How arrogant is that? Why, who are you both anyway? Have we met?

Sinister suits you ...

Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :

•"No question now, what had happened to the faces of the hosts. The denizens outside looked from host to man, and from man to host, and from host to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which."

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

I'm trying to work that out to see if it's an insult or not. Give me a bit.

Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :

ok

Posted by TonyK (# 35) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
I'm trying to work that out to see if it's an insult or not. Give me a bit.

[whisper, side of mouth] Pssst - hint. Ref G. Orwell [/whisper, side of mouth]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Yes, yes, Animal Farm, I know. But wrenched from that context and with the words changed, it becomes confused. Hosts ARE men, whereas pigs are not. But throwing "hosts" in there seems to indicate that hosts are NOT men. So is he saying hosts are pigs? Hosts are an elevated species compared to men? Hosts, although being men, are indistinguishable from men?

Let's face it, the substitution makes a hash of the original, and it ends up being ambiguous (amtriguous?) and well-night meaningless.

Final verdict: not an insult because something without any fixed meaning cannot be an insult.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

All hosts are equal, some are more equal than others.

Pyx_e is watching you.

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

So, my temporary brothers (and let’s face it this better end soon before we get bored and start ripping chunks out of each other) after a flood of PM suggestions it appears that we ought to consider dressing in mini-skirts, hair (and beard) extensions and moob tubes then shimmying passed RooK in an alluring way. While he is overcome with concupiscence we can steal something vital and/or take pictures.

Plan?

Tunnel chief Pyx_e.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Hair extensions require hair to cling to, don't they? My beard and my head are both shaved to the nubbins. Well, semi-nubbins. #3 comb on my Wahl home clipper kit. It would have to be a wig and a Monty Python false beard. Packet of gravel, please.

What's a moob tube?

ETA: I might could live with the miniskirt, but I'd have to be able to wear my yellow y-fronts with it.

[ 10. May 2011, 07:36: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by AristonAstuanax (# 10894) on :

There's already a picture of me in a miniskirt (ex girlfriend's idea, long story, it involves beer); according to the ex, I looked better in it than she ever did.

It could happen.

Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :

quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
All hosts are equal, some are more equal than others.

Pyx_e is watching you.

It is good to have you back shithead. You have been missed.

Mouseterium, don't over think my comments. Often they have all the depth of a reflection

bold added for clarification

[ 10. May 2011, 11:43: Message edited by: Pyx_e ]

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Look, I said I was going to think about it and you said "ok" and now you say don't. What are you hiding?

Posted by jedijudy (# 333) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Hosts ARE men...

quote:
So is he saying hosts are pigs?

quote:
Hosts are an elevated species...?

quote:
Hosts, although being men, are indistinguishable from men?

I do declare. What does it take for me to grow a sense of humour? I only wish I could be as clever as you, mousethief. Sigh.

[ 10. May 2011, 14:19: Message edited by: mousethief ]

Posted by ken (# 2460) on :

Not all men are pigs
Some alligators eat pigs
Some hosts are men
Some pigs are not hosts
Athenians often eat pigs
No pagan is a Catholic
Socrates does not socialise with his wife
Socrates is a pagan
Few men are vegetarians
No vegetarians eat roast meat
Roast men taste like roast pigs
Some vegetarians eat some men
Socrates is an ancient Athenian
Vegetarianism was almost but not quite unknown in ancient Athens
All Catholic priests are Catholics
Men who know what men taste like are rarely ordained priests in good standing in the Roman Catholic Church
Some hosts are not Greek
All hosts have met Christians
Socrates does not know what roast Man tastes like
All Catholics are Christians
Not all hosts are Christians
Some Catholics are hosts
Some Christians are vegetarian
Socrates is not a vegetarian
It tastes like chicken, for values of "it" that are a superset of unlikely food substances traditionally used in jokes of this form

So: is Socrates a host?

Posted by Chorister (# 473) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Yes, yes, Animal Farm, I know. But wrenched from that context and with the words changed, it becomes confused. Hosts ARE men, whereas pigs are not. But throwing "hosts" in there seems to indicate that hosts are NOT men. So is he saying hosts are pigs? Hosts are an elevated species compared to men? Hosts, although being men, are indistinguishable from men?

Let's face it, the substitution makes a hash of the original, and it ends up being ambiguous (amtriguous?) and well-night meaningless.

Final verdict: not an insult because something without any fixed meaning cannot be an insult.

I think I preferred your one-liners.

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Everyone's a critic.

Posted by Patdys (# 9397) on :

quote:
Originally posted by mousethief:
Look, I said I was going to think about it and you said "ok" and now you say don't. What are you hiding?

1) A WW2 veteran. We haven't told him the war ended years ago. Still, he keeps the house clean. It's worth the dark curtains.

2)My intellect

3)a carrot

Posted by Pyx_e (# 57) on :

I can figure out where you are hiding two of those. I am intrigued as to where you hide your intellect?

All the best, Pyx_e

Posted by mousethief (# 953) on :

Over there, in a box.

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