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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Argh!! My apartment smells like a urinal cake!
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by Miffy:
And why do you men ALWAYS have to go just as we're leaving the house,and running late?

The answer is quite simple actually. It is because every single male had (as a young boy) a mother who insisted that he go before taking a trip in the car.

(And Mom thought I wasn't paying any attention )

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?


Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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Just now the board said:

Hell -- Argh!! My apartment smells like a... Campbellite

Serendipity is a wondrous thing.

Rdr Alexis

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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When I was small (1956 or so), my father kept a stack of books in the downstairs (actually, tucked under the stairs) lavatory, one of which was "The Small Sects of America". I suppose I remember it because I couldn't figure out what 'sects' were and finally asked him. And for some reason I put the title to the tune of "God Bless America" during the time I spent staring at it. It still pops into my head at random moments (the SMAAALL sects ofaMEEEERica!)

I have never kept reading material in the bathroom, and with four people sharing one bathroom now, reading on the john is NOT allowed!


Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nunc Dimittis
Seamstress of Sound
# 848

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We don't have a regular stock in our bathroom... MAinly because all books would end up water damaged as the loo's in with the bathtub and shower and things get pretty steamy!

But I often tot in with LoTR and, well, with whatever I happen to be reading at the time...


Posts: 9515 | From: Delta Quadrant | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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I posted this in Resources for Hell and had to put it here also.

Monogrammed toilet paper

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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I must admit to finding reading in the toilet distasteful - but presently in my loo you will find 2 Jehovah's Witness magazines and the Parish directory for the local Roman Church. (I've never seen my faithful JW lady take off so quickly as when the Catholic gentleman arrived doing his 1-2 yearly census). I might take the Anglican Messenger in there to push the envelope of ecumenism.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Benedictus
Shipmate
# 1215

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According to my current inventory, there are several back issues of Prevention magazine, and Out of the Silent Planet, and Swiss Family Robinson.

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Resentment: Me drinking poison and expecting them to die

Posts: 1378 | From: Hertfordshire | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lioba
Shipmate
# 42

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Friends of mine keep back copies of the monthly magazine of the German Evangelical Alliance on their loo, which is the most appropriate place to store them, if you don't give them to someone with a too low blood pressure.

Abo

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Conversion is a life-long process.


Posts: 502 | From: Germany | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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Bathroom reading material now? Well, in mine there is always the current edition of The Old Farmer's Almanac. On occasion there is also a book that has wandered in but forgotten to leave--at the moment, it is a compilation of tales after the style of HP Lovecraft.

Sieg


Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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Bathroom reading?

Well, the current issue of the Atlantic Monthly; a book of passages from the Qu'ran; and the book Why Catholics Can't Sing.

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
it is a compilation of tales after the style of HP Lovecraft.


Aha! Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds Dr. Seuss kind of creepy.

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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chastmstr:

quote:
Aha! Glad to know I'm not the only one who finds Dr. Seuss kind of
creepy.

huh? how'd dr seuss get into the conversation?

(though admittedly there is def. something lovecraftian about the one that starts "look what we found in the park, in the dark....")

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!


Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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Dr Suess is so good I named myself after one of his characters! I wont see a bad word said against him!

Neil


Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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(Please imagine this done in a creepy, disturbing voice.)

"But... my dear! Who said there was anything bad about the good doctor? Why, I was weaned on The Shoggoth in the Hat when I was a wee tot, and it did me no harm..."

Sorry, couldn't resist...

Dr. Seuss Meets H.P. Lovecraft

Pokethulhu

Wait, wait, wait. This isn't Resources from Hell! There's no place like home... there's no place like home... there's no place like home...

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Mid

Officer and a gentleman
# 1559

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We have about forty or so colour Gary Larson Far Side cartoons stuck to our toilet door, along with instructions on hwo to change the toilet paper. So we usually don't actually need any reading material...

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For God so loved the world She got involved

Posts: 3022 | From: The Wardroom | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
daisymay

St Elmo's Fire
# 1480

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I checked out the loo and bathroom, and found these...Michael Moorcock, "The Ice Schooner" & "Byzantium Endures". Ursula LeGuin, "City of Illusions". 2 copies of MAD. PCC minutes. "Shaka's Children - A History of the Zulu People". Dostoevsky,"The Gambler's Tale/Bobok/A Nasty Story" VW 1200 Beetle Owner's Workshop Manual. Last Saturday's Guardian. John Hercus, "More Pages from God's Casebook". Kipling's "Just So Stories". Now I know why some of my household spend so much time in the loo.

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London
Flickr fotos

Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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wait, wait wait!

Mid, are you telling us that someone, somewhere, felt it necesary to post written instructions on how to change a roll of toilet paper? Is this really such a complicated procedure? Are there people who are THAT mechanically disadvantaged that they cannot perform this function without assistance?

Or is it that someone is hopelessly anal retentive (in which case, who really needs toilet paper? )

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?


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Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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Re instructions in the loo...I think I need one that instructs people that when they change the toilet roll to ensure it rolls under not over! It pains me to see it rolled over.

I think I need to get out more.

Admiral H.


Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mrs de Point
Shipmate
# 1430

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We currently do not have a loo roll holder in position (3 months after moving) which solves the over or under problem.

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Beware I am not in control of my hormones..... or my mind

Posts: 602 | From: Across the road from Calvin | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Astro
Shipmate
# 84

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quote:
Originally posted by Admiral Holder:
Re instructions in the loo...I think I need one that instructs people that when they change the toilet roll to ensure it rolls under not over! It pains me to see it rolled over.

I think I need to get out more.

Admiral H.


Heretic Everyone knows that thou shalt place the paper on the roll so that it rolls over!

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if you look around the world today – whether you're an atheist or a believer – and think that the greatest problem facing us is other people's theologies, you are yourself part of the problem. - Andrew Brown (The Guardian)


Posts: 2723 | From: Chiltern Hills | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stoo

Mighty Pirate
# 254

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i must say, i agree with astro.

so much so, that when i see it rolled under, i must reverse it!

i think i should be worried.

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This space left blank


Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
blackbird
Shipmate
# 1387

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rollOVER admiral holder...and that goes for paper towels, as well.
Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mrs de Point
Shipmate
# 1430

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Why don't we vote on it?
Roll over
OR
Roll under

I say Over

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Beware I am not in control of my hormones..... or my mind

Posts: 602 | From: Across the road from Calvin | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

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Roll under - stops the children pulling off half a roll at a sitting!

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Ann

Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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you know this is the one issue that ann landers refuses to deal with any more after the reaction the debate got when she did bring it up in her column? are we sure we want to open this can of worms?

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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Yes, along with where one squeezes the toothpaste tube.

There are some gendered anthropology issues here that it might be best not to get into.

But I agree with the rollunder folks, because that prevents the damn cat from disgorging an entire roll then using it in place of her sandbox or, worse yet, eating some of it, then bringing it back up on the bed.

But perhaps that's too much information....

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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i should think all the worms are already out of the can here -


it goes over

that way more of the design on the paper shows.......

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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


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magnificat
Apprentice
# 1823

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I'm sorry folks - what IS a urinal cake and can you buy it with marzipan??

It might make an interesting change to run-of-the-mill Christmas cake!


Posts: 16 | From: Yorkshire | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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read the thread from the beginning and you'll find out, magnificat.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Mm. Yes. Many hereticks.

Never will the toilet paper be found in my casé other than over. I find it very disconcerting when using other people's facilities and 500 tickets to the trots are being issued from under. It has been a long hard road, but I can now prevent myself from altering it in other people's houses.

Other posters speak highly of the minimum spooling benefits which occur with under - these I have never observed. In fact, one can rip off the required number of sheets with a flamboyant single-handed swipe in the over position, whereas doing this in the under configuration produces something akin to a calisthenic ribbon.


Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Mm. Yes. Many hereticks.

Never will the toilet paper be found in my casé other than over. I find it very disconcerting when using other people's facilities and 500 tickets to the trots are being issued from under. It has been a long hard road, but I can now prevent myself from altering it in other people's houses.

Other posters speak highly of the minimum spooling benefits which occur with under - these I have never observed. In fact, one can rip off the required number of sheets with a flamboyant single-handed swipe in the over position, whereas doing this in the under configuration produces something akin to a calisthenic ribbon.


Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Many apologies - I got a poptel internal server error msg and reposted.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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No apologies necessary, Coot. I was going to remove your duplicate post, but you had to go and apologize for it. So I suppose it will have to stay.

So please don't think I'm leaving your embarassing duplicate post up because I consider you a toilet-paper heretick and wish to humiliate you.

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ultraspike

Incensemeister
# 268

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Unfortunately I have to keep the roll on the back of the toilet to keep the cats from clawing it to shreds. There's something irresistable about a nice fat roll of paper that unwinds as you paw at it, I'm sure.

I may get one of those decorative covers that hang down over the roll, like we have at church. They're a bit of a pain to change, however, since you have to unscrew and rescrew the knob, but they look nice.

And yes, over is the only way to go.

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A cowgirl's work is never done.


Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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am i the only person in the world who has no opinion in the under/over debate?

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
daisymay

St Elmo's Fire
# 1480

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Ultraspike, where 'in the church' is this decorative cover for the loo roll? On display? And the decoration....highly symbolic and significant, one hopes. And all toilet rolls should be front. Otherwise patterned ones show the faint wrong side.

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London
Flickr fotos

Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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OVER

And the problem of the cat clawing down half the roll is easily solved without having to purchase anything fancy. Just slice open an empty toilet paper roll; it easily fits over the toilet paper. If that's too ugly, I suppose one could cover the cardboard with contact paper.

Toothpaste should be squeezed from the bottom. And as the tube is emptied it should either be rolled up from the bottom or flattened out with the handle of one's toothbrush.


Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ultraspike

Incensemeister
# 268

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daisymay, it's in our main level bathroom (one seat, unisex). It's a brass cover, no decoration.

That's a good idea for a toilet roll cover, RuthW. I'll give it a try.

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A cowgirl's work is never done.


Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:

.... Just slice open an empty toilet paper roll; it easily fits over the toilet paper. If that's too ugly, I suppose one could cover the cardboard with contact paper.....

Ruth, you sound like Martha Stewart on acid. Contact paper. On a toilet paper roll?

Now I know why they sent you down to hell.

By the way, guys. RuthW's the newest hellhost. Welcome her appropriately.

Or else.

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Benedictus
Shipmate
# 1215

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Over.

RuthW, I've always liked you. I don't think I want to welcome you in any way tomb would consider appropriate.

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Resentment: Me drinking poison and expecting them to die


Posts: 1378 | From: Hertfordshire | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ultraspike

Incensemeister
# 268

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A most hellish welcome, RuthW. And I mean that in the nicest way. I can see a kinder, gentler Hell in our future.

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A cowgirl's work is never done.

Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by Ultraspike:
A most hellish welcome, RuthW. And I mean that in the nicest way. I can see a kinder, gentler Hell in our future.

Yes, a kindler, gentler Hell. With a thousand points of light. Right up until somebody crosses me.

tomb, there was a brief period when Martha Stewart had a daytime show on network TV and I was unemployed. I was inspired to disassemble the metal industrial shelves which serve me as bookcases, sand them, prime them, paint them white, and then use sea sponges (you know, that used to be alive) to dab them with different shades of green and bronze, all in order to achieve a patina-type look. I then did the same with my industrial metal file cabinet. I refinished several other pieces of furniture in less elaborate ways, and was starting to plan the repainting of my entire apartment (more sea sponge dabbing, and maybe some stenciling just below the crown moulding and around the doorways) when I got a job. So the painting never got done. Sigh.

And I was just getting ready to put contact paper on the toilet roll cover (left over from when I did all the drawers in the kitchen and bathroom) when my cats got bored with the whole toilet paper thing and moved on to Q-tips.


Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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nicolerw, I dare say it is better to sit on the fence rather than join the motley crew of OVER rollers in their heretical ways!

If there is every anyone seeking accommodation for a meet in Sydney, a few toiletry questions will surely be on my list before I aye or nay.

I think the cat and/or small children factor is being seriously under-estimated. And I find the toilet rolls rolls seamlessly when under, whereas over results in much gnashing of teeth.

And now we have an interior decorator as a Hell Host!?!?! hardly hellish (then again, thinking of "Changing Rooms" a few weeks back...)

Welcome Ruth!


Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Mid

Officer and a gentleman
# 1559

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quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
wait, wait wait!

Mid, are you telling us that someone, somewhere, felt it necesary to post written instructions on how to change a roll of toilet paper? Is this really such a complicated procedure? Are there people who are THAT mechanically disadvantaged that they cannot perform this function without assistance?

Or is it that someone is hopelessly anal retentive (in which case, who really needs toilet paper? )


I think it was other people who demonstarted a lack of ability to carry out this simple task and thus had to be instructed.

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For God so loved the world She got involved


Posts: 3022 | From: The Wardroom | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
daisymay

St Elmo's Fire
# 1480

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quote:
Originally posted by Admiral Holder:

I think the cat and/or small children factor is being seriously under-estimated. And I find the toilet rolls rolls seamlessly when under, whereas over results in much gnashing of teeth.

Welcome Ruth!



Yes, that small children thing. Maybe Ultraspike's cover would be a
good thingin our church. The women's toilet is also the children's; the latter have mini-loos with no doors on the cubicles, and always seem to have either whole rolls or bits scattered around. Alternatively, they have swiped the rolls from the women's cubicles and a raid is necessary for comfortable use of the facilities. They also love dissassembling the holders, in their cubicles and the adults'.

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London
Flickr fotos

Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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quote:
Originally posted by daisymay:

The women's toilet is also the children's; the latter have mini-loos with no doors on the cubicles, and always seem to have either whole rolls or bits scattered around. [/QB]


What do fathers of small children do, then?

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Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by Admiral Holder:
And now we have an interior decorator as a Hell Host!?!?! hardly hellish (then again, thinking of "Changing Rooms" a few weeks back...)

Welcome Ruth! [/QB]


The thing is, I'm an interior decorator with far more zeal than skill. Nobody with my inability to match colors, my failure to understand why all the furniture shouldn't just be shoved up against the walls, and my threshold of boredom should be allowed to decorate. I'm sure I've lost at least one boyfriend because he got tired of being roped into re-arranging furniture and having it not look any better.


Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
blackbird
Shipmate
# 1387

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and i've almost lost my husband a few times when i've changed furnture around and he's headed into the darkness at night to use the bathroom and fallen over a table or chair that seemed to appear out of nowhere.
Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
daisymay

St Elmo's Fire
# 1480

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quote:
Originally posted by Hostie:
What do fathers of small children do, then?

Big problem....when they're in Children's Church or Nursery School, the attendants/teachers (all female at the moment) take them to the loo. I have, however, seen dads taking their children to the ladies'.
Also seen big sisters sent off with little ones when dads are too embarassed. I've rescued a few kids myself.

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Flickr fotos

Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
George in Montreal
Apprentice
# 153

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Okay, folks here's how the over/under toilet paper issue is resolved hereabouts.

1. Notice that the existing roll is empty. Remove and place in conveniently placed recyling box to please spouse.

2. Reach down and grab new roll from giant economy case of 24 bought at Costco bulk foods store.

3. Slap said roll onto holder.

4. Look down in amazement and say "wow, this time it's rolling over the top" or conversely "wow, this time it's rolling from under".

5. Sit down. Use. Ask no questions.


Posts: 32 | From: Saint Lambert, Quebec, Canada | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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