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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
As Angus Deayton (sp.?) would say 'In what way?'

I can actually remember when it was the best of the crop - the alternative was another dirge from Ancient and Mouldy, but that was a long time ago. Today it is rubbish, and dated.

That is the problem with many songs on this thread ( not all - some have always been afwul ). They are bad now because they are so much a product of their time. In many cases, they wer totally over-done, because the choice was so limited - Majesty ( another one I want to drop in the sulpher lake ) is a prime example. For a significant period, anytime you wanted a quiet and medatitive song, Majesty was the choice. Every time.

In partial support of GK, he did make a difference to the worship scene, that was significant and worthwhile. Before him, we had Lord of the Dance . But he has written his best stuff, and I very much doubt that he will write anything that will be remembered again. Time to retire Graham. I just hope Martin Smith and their ilk know when their time is past rather better.

{'ere pass that oil well over here, we need a bit more flams and heat in this place}

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Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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'fraid I'm going to push you. I just don't see what's 'rubbish' about 'Lord of the Dance'. Dated? Well, musically, so is most of the most recent worship output - Radio 2 five years ago.

Majesty is no better nor worse than it ever was. It's just that we've sung it often enough to realise how vacuous it is now.

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Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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I obviously didn't know what I'd be starting when I began this thread!

Karl, I'm afraid there are QUITE A FEW GK songs I prefer to 'Lord of the Dance'! Though it hasn't helped my view of that song to have been in a school morning assembly in the row behind a lad who was improvising his own, ahem, 'lyrics' when we were singing it. The chorus of the song will never be the same again!

Speaking of school assemblies, the hymn 'Morning has broken' did a lot of 'temporary' harm to me. It's line 'Blackbird has spoken, Like the first bird' particularly irked a 9 year old who wanted to be a paleontologist, who KNEW that Archaeopteryx sounded nowt like Turdus merula. (I also knew the First dewfall was WAY before the first grass!). So in a small way, the hymn contributed to the period of Atheism that lasted till I was 15. I have never liked it since!

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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)


Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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I apologise profusely for my misused apostrophe in 'It's'. It should have been 'Its'. I find it paricularly annoying when others get this wrong.

Oops.

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'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)


Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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quote:
It's line 'Blackbird has spoken, Like the first bird' particularly irked a 9 year old who wanted to be a paleontologist, who KNEW that Archaeopteryx sounded nowt like Turdus merula.

Or quite possibly Protoavis, if the fossil turns out to be what its discover thinks it is.

Here's a thought for you - crocodiles are more closely related to ostriches than they are to lizards...

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Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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I want to be a tree that's bearing fruit
With a very, very, very long root.
Bright colours like daisies
More fruit than Sainsburies
I want to be a blooming tree

I've never quite got over this one.

But what I want to know is: where are all the liberal choruses in this thread? Surely you've noticed the gaping holes and hapless imagery in those by now?

Like this from Bell/Maule's "As two we love are wed this day": (to the tune Sussex Carol)

quote:

Parents and families they leave
Their own new families to make
and sharing what their pasts have brought
they shape it for the future's sake
Praise, Praise the Maker, Spirit, Son
Blessing this marriage now begun

The jaunty tune, the soggy lyrics. It wasn't even the worst in "Common Ground" (the Scottish Churches' Hymnal).

'frin

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"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.


Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Old Hundredth
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# 112

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Something that has started to irritate me is the change of 'speaker' part way through the song. Trad hymns tend to be either (a) Us addressing God (b) Us talking about God and exhorting each other (c) God talking to us.

Modern worship songs tend to mix them all up and because they don't have quotation marks like ordinary prose dialogue it can be confusing if you have lost track of who is supposed to be talking. eg 'Lord make us still in your presence' (mode of address a)where all of a sudden we get switched to 'May the peace of Christ be with you' (mode of address b); and the whole last verse, which is a kind of doxology, is also mode (b).

It isn't too bad if it is an obviously structured dialogue eg the question and answer format of 'Here I am Lord' where God speaks to us in the verse and we reply in the chorus but there is a tendency for modern worship songs to switch about rapidly.

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If I'm not in the Chapel, I'll be in the bar (Reno Sweeney, 'Anything Goes')


Posts: 976 | From: The land of the barm cake | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
SteveTom
Contributing Editor
# 23

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quote:
My bile towards a certain GK has nothing to do with being Welsh

No, I wasn't suggesting that it had, just that the urge to kick someone when they're up is a profoundly British one.

quote:
and everything to do with the fact that I think that a fairly good proportion of his songs are crap.

But I think we'd all agree that that applies to the genre as a whole, so why the need to pick on him in particular?

quote:
For this I have Jesus works equally well when the words chocolate or gin are subsituted.

Can't fault you there.

quote:
Injections of thelogy?! Can you back this up with concrete examples ...

Of course.
There's The Servant King using the incarnation as a model for Christian servanthood.
The Price is Paid goes into a fair bit of detail on the atonement and the difference it should make to the Christian life.
He walked where I walk is remarkable in the weight it gives to the humanity of Jesus.
And Come and See is simply a great hymn.

And how about this:
Rest for the ravaged earth, oceans and streams
Plundered and poisoned - our future our dreams.
Lord end our madness, carelessness greed;
Make us content with the things that we need.

If you can quote an environmentlist worship song from the 1970s I'll eat my pants.
And O O O O O O Heaven is in my heart is a searing indictment of - oh no, hang on...

I'm not saying he's Wesley - who is? But for doctrinal content I think what I've cited compares pretty favourably with How Great Thou Art. (Yes, I know that's not by Wesley.) And it certainly beats the shit out of anything in the first couple of Songs of Fellowship books.

In fact I have a SOF book 1 (1981, 159 songs) here, and it has simply nothing in it more profound than Abba Father.

It does though have this corker, which I never noticed to now:

Some folks may ask me, some folks may say
Who is this Jesus you talk about every day
He is my saviour, he set me free
Now listen while I tell you what he means to me.

He is my everything, he is my all
He is my everything both great and small
He made my life complete, made everything new,
He is my everything, now how about you?

Now that's what I call worship.

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I saw a naked picture of me on the internet
Wearing Jesus's new snowshoes.
Well, golly gee.
- Eels


Posts: 1363 | From: London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Adrian
Electric angel
# 298

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this may be a bit predictable from an 'alt.worshipper', but, would any of you in this discussion actually choose to listen to any hymns/choruses outside of church?

and lets be honest here, i don't mean that one old tape you put on in the car when you're feeling down, i'm asking if you come home from work and choose something Christian rather than some Bowie, Coltrane or Debussy.

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Adrian
Electric angel
# 298

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er, just realised Coltrane probably was a Christian. Haven't a clue about Debussy, but you get the idea...
Posts: 992 | From: sunny scarborough, uk | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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Bugger …!

Reasons for disliking GK intently:

He is probably the most well known writer of guitar based choruses and Christians for the last 20 years will have sung his stuff on a regular basis. I don’t think Martin Smith or Matt Redmond are as well known yet.

He was the first and has spawned many piss poor imitators who wouldn’t necessarily recognise sound theology if it came and kicked them in the head. Let alone a good tune ….

He is very prolific and doesn’t seem to have been fitted with a quality control button

If I sing certain of his songs again I may not be responsible for my actions … Although I appreciate this may not be entirely his fault.

As an aside, In the bargain bin of my local Christian bookshop I found a book by GK entitled “Worship” that was extremely good. You have now proved there is sound theology … I think I need to go for a lie down.

Environmental songs from the 70’s … deep in my past I remember a hymn about the town and the country and buses, tractors etc and it did vaguely talk about the environment. It was extremely bad and a vague memory isn’t enough to insist you eat your pants. I take it “We plough the fields and scatter the good seed on the land” etc doesn’t count.

Tubbs

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Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Father Gregory

Are you sure that, "Jesus drop kick me through the goal posts of life" was a real song. I came across it in Berke Breathed's Bloom County, and I always assumed he made it up.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
KevT
unregistered


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Graham Kendrick, again:

Yes I think I'm fairly convinced by the argument that GK has done something for the worship scene, so I think I'd revise my condeming of his stuff to just everything he's done since about the "Makeway" march for Jesus stuff.

But again, in his defence, he is about the only contemporary christian composer who has had a stab at producing Christmas songs. Not altogether succesfully but I guess points for effort . . .


KevT.


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Nicolemr
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# 28

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gill h, thanks for agreeing with me about all in the april evening. i STILL have that damned (i choose the word carefully) thing stuck in my head and its been three days now! i may go MAD!

"morning is broken" is WONDERFUL! the fact that i fell madly in love for the very first time on my 16th birthday while listening to my love play it on guitar while on a church youth retreat has nothing to do with my feelings for it... nothing at all, i say!

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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
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# 28

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oh and moo, i regret to inform you that fr. greg is absolutly correct. "drop-kick me, jesus, through the goal-posts of life" is, sadly, a real song.

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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Groucho
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# 279

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quote:
Originally posted by KevT:
Graham Kendrick, again:

Yes I think I'm fairly convinced by the argument that GK has done something for the worship scene, so I think I'd revise my condeming of his stuff to just everything he's done since about the "Makeway" march for Jesus stuff.

But again, in his defence, he is about the only contemporary christian composer who has had a stab at producing Christmas songs. Not altogether succesfully but I guess points for effort . . .


I hate to admit it, but there is no doubt that in his earlier phase GK did do a lot for "modern worship" songs. It isn't his fault that they have been flogged to death or that, some 20-25 years later they appear a bit tired.

I agree, though, that anything from Make Way on should be avoided.

And at least in comparison, he is light years ahead of the rest in the field. He did, for a time, manage to get some passable theology into music. Where is the theology (other than rotten) in "Down the ******* Mountain?"

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"These are my principles.
If you don't like them, I have others."


Posts: 111 | From: Halifax | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Groucho
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# 279

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quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
oh and moo, i regret to inform you that fr. greg is absolutly correct. "drop-kick me, jesus, through the goal-posts of life" is, sadly, a real song.

And one which has gained a certain amount of credibility through the wonderful Andy Kershaw (whose show is now on Radio 3 - Praise the Lord!). AK frequently refers to it (although I've never actually caught him playing it).

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"These are my principles.
If you don't like them, I have others."


Posts: 111 | From: Halifax | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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"drop kick me Jesus" is one of a number of truly, madly, deeply awful "christian" country songs ( I think I have seen a web site listing the 100 most awful country songs or something). Their only real claim to christianity is that they mention Jesus somewhere. Theologically, they have less to offer than an average post-it note.

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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.

Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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Jesus put this song into my heart

I'm sorry, but the God I worship isn't sadistic

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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.


Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Robert Armin

All licens'd fool
# 182

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quote:
fadethecat

If there's one song I would dearly love to see banished from all memory--or at least all Christian music concerts--forever, it's the once tolerable "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever". Okay, I'll grant that perhaps we could, but that doesn't mean we have to try. Some songs may drag on a bit, but that one is almost guaranteed to go into at least ten minutes. Of that one line. Over and over and over again. And they don't even bother doing the verse, the only tolerable part of the whole song, more than once.


I wasn't going to raise this again, because I've already listed it in TICTH, but I was provoked. Even allowing for the fact that the music is - IMHO - execrable throughout, the verse is EVEN WORSE than the chorus. I quote:

quote:
Over the mountains and the sea
Your river flows with love for me

When did a river ever behave like that?! At least the idea of singing to God forever makes symbolic sense - but if they use that tune in Heaven I may take myself off to Hell.

What really gets on my nerves are choruses that make no sense:

quote:
Holiness unto Jesus
Holiness unto you Lord

What????? Or, even worse, things that could have made sense with only a little thought:
quote:
Jesus, come and fill your lambs
You don't FILL lambs, you FEED them! And one word would fit as well as the other - so what is going on???????

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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin

Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Would someone please tell me where I can find the words to, "Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goal posts of life." I want to see how the lyricist(?) develops the concept.

Of course, after I see the words I may decide that ignorance was bliss.

Moo

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See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
brodavid
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# 460

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quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
Father Gregory

Are you sure that, "Jesus drop kick me through the goal posts of life" was a real song. I came across it in Berke Breathed's Bloom County, and I always assumed he made it up.

Moo


I'm afraid it is, indeed, a real song. I remember it being on the radio when I was a child, after some country-western star (Willie Nelson?) had recorded it.

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Brodavid

"Prayer can do anything that God can do."
- E.M. Bounds


Posts: 702 | From: Mississippi, USA | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
brodavid
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# 460

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Actually, the thing that makes me crazy about church music is not usually the music itself, but the way the congregation sings it. I get so tireed of sitting on the platform and watching people sing, "How marvelous, how wonderful, and my song shall ever be, how marvelous, how wonderful, is my Savior's love for me." while their faces look like they have a mouthful of lemon juice, or at best remain expressionless.

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Brodavid

"Prayer can do anything that God can do."
- E.M. Bounds

Posts: 702 | From: Mississippi, USA | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

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I'm searching the web for Lyrics, I haven't found "Drop-kick me, Jesus" yet, but in two lists of titles it beat "I Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral." to second place. I'll keep on looking.

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Ann

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Nicolemr
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# 28

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the lyrics to drop kick me jesus etc can be found here

if i did the link right.

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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Louise
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# 30

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quote:
Environmental songs from the 70’s … deep in my past I remember a hymn about the town and the country and buses, tractors etc and it did vaguely talk about the environment.


Aaaaaagh Tubbs!
What were you thinking of reminding me of that - the trauma - the trauma!

Primary school assembly in the 1970s! Ghastly attempts to make religion 'relevant'.

Approximate rendition:

Oh let us remember the joys of the town!
Gay cars and bright buses that go up and down!
Shop windows and playgrounds and swings in the park!
And streetlamps that twinkle in rows after dark

I don't remember the joys of the countryside - I think I've repressed them. Can anyone else remember?

Louise

PS Frin, I don't like 'Coffee Grounds' either. It's enough to drive you to exclusive psalmody

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Posts: 6918 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Thanks for the link.

It wasn't quite as bad as I expected except for the line.

I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
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# 28

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no problem moo. always ask a llibrarian.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!

Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DJMarc
Shipmate
# 141

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Why has no one mentioned that chestnut of Hillsongs. The ABBA of Christian music loads of people like them but they are total crap.

Yes My Jesus My saviour might have been good but have you heard the rest. 'May our be filled with dancing' yes but not at three o clock in the morning when I am trying to get to sleep. I'm sorry but Darlene should have kept to being a secratery!

Also have you seen how may instruments they have in their band that is why most churches murder most of her songs. Also Darlene dear you clap with both your hands not your hand and your elbow! And try and get rid of the constaption before going on stage it is not nice to see you in pain/straining on stage.

Sorry I think they are totally crap at Hillsongs and should get a life. Thank you who ever started this thread.

<><marc

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I don't need a six pack I've got a kegg!


Posts: 132 | From: Dudley | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
I'd also like to commend What a friend we have in Jesus for the 'if only 'twere that simple' category.

Although it isn't nearly as bad as some of those already mentioned, I've always found "What a friend we have in Jesus" irritating for its "I told you so" quality.

Sieg

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Siegfried
Life is just a bowl of cherries!


Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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always ask a llibrarian.

Oh no. Another Welsh person.

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"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Reepicheep
BANNED
# 60

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OK - Dyfrig, I'll bite, why are you changing your location?

I think Living Lord needs to go into the heap. And "how sweet the name of jesus sounds" for the first verse. because it sure doesn't have that effect on me.


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Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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dyfrig, nope, just a real bad typist.

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Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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Several comments, in no particular order:

There really ought to be a branch of government, or the United Nations or something, that licenses the use of metaphor. You should have to take a test before you're allowed to use it.

Anybody notice how many songs quoted in this thread are intended for children? If there is anything that REALLY PISSES ME OFF, it's the way we patronize children. Dear God, no wonder so many of them leave the Church and turn into Buddhists and atheists and stuff. They're working off the karma of being made to sing, "I'll be a sunbeam for Jesus."

And finally, my "favorite" hymn of all time. I got slapped down earlier in this thread for defending a hymn with (putative) anti-semitic sentiments. The racist ones in this song are indefensible, and I have actually been in divine service when it was programmed as a legitimate song:

Remember all the people
Who live in far off lands,
In strange and lonely cities,
Or roam the desert sands,
Or farm the mountain pastures,
Or till the endless plains
Where children wade through rice-fields
And watch the camel trains.

Some work in sultry forests
Where apes swing to and fro,
Some fish in mighty rivers,
Some hunt across the snow.
Remember all God's children,
Who yet have never heard
The truth that comes from Jesus,
The glory of his word.

God bless the men and women
Who serve him oversea;
God raise up more to help them
To set the nations free,
Till all the distant people
In ev'ry foreign place
Shall understand his kingdom
And come into his grace.

If anyone is interested, the text was written by Percy Dearmer, a.k.a. "Saint Percy" on the Mystery Worship board.

We really have a lot to answer for when we get to heaven. If we get there. Maybe the Romans are right....

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nicolemr
Shipmate
# 28

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tomb, oh my! do you mean

jesus wants me for a sunbeam, a sunbeam, a sunbeam
jesus wants me for a sunbeam,
to shine for him each day


i always thought that little sappy bit of slop was actually written by someone in my sunday school or something before they had us sing it. i remember distincly being embarrassed by it even though i was only about 6 at the time.

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On pilgrimage in the endless realms of Cyberia, currently traveling by ship. Now with live journal!


Posts: 11803 | From: New York City "The City Carries On" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Inanna

Ship's redhead
# 538

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Well, I was going to be smug and talk about the wonderful joy I've found since worshipping in Catholic Churches, and the joys of composers like Marty Haugen, and David Haas...

... until this evening's Corpus Christi mass, where we ended with the absolutely dire:

quote:
Sing it in the valleys Must be those welsh again.. (Ed)
Shout it from the mountain tops
Jesus came to save us
And his saving never stops Bank of Jesus Inc... (Ed once more)
He is King of Kings
And new life he brings
Sing it in the valleys,
Shout it from the mountain tops woa-oh,
Shout it from the mountain tops.

Truly, truly dire. Trite rhymes, appalling lack of theology.. and at least it was the exit hymn, so I could duck out as soon as Fr Philip had gone!

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All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.


Posts: 1495 | From: Royal Oak, MI | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
QLib

Bad Example
# 43

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At the great age of about 7 I really despised and hated this song :

Mummy told me something/ a little girl should know/ it’s all about the Devil/and I’ve learnt to hate him so/ He fills you full of trouble if you let him in the room/he will never, ever leave you if your heart is filled with gloom

Chorus : So let the sun shine in/ face it with a grin/smile is never lose/and frown is never win/ so let the sunshine in/face it with a grin/ open up your heart and let the su-uuun shii-ine ii-ii-ii-in!

I forget to say my prayers /the devil’s filled with glee/but he feels so awful awkward* when he sees me on my knee/ so if you are in trouble and you never seem to win/just open up yopur heart and let the suuu-uun shii-ii-ne in

Chorus: …and so on

However, when battling with depression last year (especially as I started - with chemical help- winning) I found myself singing it constantly – proof that I had really lost it or what? In my defence, I have to say that it had a very catchy tune.

* I believe it may have been American in origin.

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Tradition is the handing down of the flame, not the worship of the ashes Gustav Mahler.


Posts: 8913 | From: Page 28 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
David
Complete Bastard
# 3

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quote:
Originally posted by Tubbs:
My bile towards a certain GK has nothing to do with being Welsh and everything to do with the fact that I think that a fairly good proportion of his songs are crap.

My bile is reserved for any Wesley, Newton etc on the same basis.


Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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quote:
So let the sun shine in/ face it with a grin...

AAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!! Pebbles and Bam-Bam sang that on "The Flintstones!"

Yep, it's American (though I had managed to forget that till now).

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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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This is getting increasingly discouraging. We are definitely going to be punished.

But hey! Let's curse the devil and maybe he will flee....

Anybody have any songs/hymns they really like and aren't afraid to admit to?

C'mon! Open yourself up to ridicule! There are so many things you hate. Surely this is because your standards are high and there are things you really love.

Let's hear 'em:

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
David
Complete Bastard
# 3

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This is nearly related, but has anyone else noticed how difficult it is to get anything of quality (christian music-wise) for children?

If it wasn't for Colin Buchanan I'd go crazy. Mind you, some of the Vineyard stuff qualifies as infantile...


Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Schroedinger's cat

Ship's cool cat
# 64

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Ignorance, most definately, is bliss. In this case at least.

I start to reaslise the theological depth of Wayne Drain.

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Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.


Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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Lousie, THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!! I sang at church and it was played on the organ. The horror ... the horror!

Now, is that enough to make a man eat his pants ?!

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am


Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
SteveWal
Shipmate
# 307

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One song that I remember from evangelical days was a ropey little number with the first line:
quote:
My tongue shall be the pen of a ready writer

The tune was dire, the verses were full of mixed metaphors, and to cap it all, it was supposed to be based on a psalm. Well, one of David's off-days then. The great advantage of being a Quaker is we don't have to sing: it's the denomination for the terminally off-key (except the bloke who used to sing "Something Inside So Strong" every time he came.)

By the way, from way back, Belisarius: Assonance is a legitamate form of rhyme in Welsh verse, and was used to great effect by Wilfred Owen.

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If they give you lined paper to write on, write across the lines. (Russian anarchist saying)


Posts: 208 | From: Manchester | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

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I have always had a problem with:

I may never march in the infantry,
Ride with the cavalry, shoot with the artillery,
I may never zoom o'er the enemy,
For I'm in the Lord's army.
I'm in the Lord's army (Yes Sir!)
I'm in the Lord's army (Yes Sir!)
I may never march in the infantry,
Ride with the cavalry, shoot with the artillery,
I may never zoom o'er the enemy,
For I'm in the Lord's army.

The 'For' suggests that the main message of the song is a pacifist, military incompatible with Christianity one; but - the actions involve shooting everyone in sight .

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Ann


Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Robert Armin

All licens'd fool
# 182

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Ann, I originally sung that as
"I will never etc"
which made it very clear that this was a pacifist song (despite the actions). However, on one Christian camp I attended it became;
"I'm too young to etc
But I'm in the Lord's army!"
which gives the impression that all the little kiddies will sign up the moment they get the chance.

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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin

Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jenny
Apprentice
# 499

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Hope I'm not too late to join in.

Two that really get me:
"Still the greatest treasure remains for those who gladly choose you now" - always feels so "nur nur-nur nur nur, we get treasure" to me that I can't bear to sing it.

And the line in Away in a Manger - "the baby awakes/ But little Lord Jesus, no crying he makes"
I'd be willing to bet he did cry - poor old Mary having to deal with it and listen to us sing about how silent he was 2000 years on.

I also used to sing an anthem which I mercifully forget, but which implied that Joseph was sleeping soundly, woke up and found his wife had happily and quietly delivered without even disturbing him. Hmmm.

Sorry - got a bit unseasonal there,

Jen


Posts: 41 | From: Lincolnshire, UK | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ian M
Shipmate
# 79

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"Teach me to dance to the beat of your heart"

That was it!

The other day when discussing "trite shallow worship sessions I have been in and felt like leaving" with house group I was trying to remember the name of this song... years ago now when I was last at Spring Harvest this was the top choice in the Big Top and not only is the song itself pretty short on solid content (personally, and maybe it is just me, but I do like my songs to make more than a passing reference to God, Jesus etc and what he's done for us, that kind of thing), but...

what we actually ended up with was 15 minutes of "Teach me to dance, teach me to dance, teach me to dance, teach me to dance" ad infinitum, interspersed only with the occasional full length line "Teach me to dance to the beat of your heart".

Awful

Ian


Posts: 332 | From: Surbiton, Surrey, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tubbs

Miss Congeniality
# 440

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I HATED "Be bold, be strong for the Lord thy God is with thee" and our homegroup used to sing it such alot Actually I hated any chorus our homegroup used to sing as there weren't that many of us and I have a voice like a fat lardy cat demanding Whiskers

Tubbs

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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am


Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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Colours of Day. Enough to make you slit your throat with its dirge like tune and horrible images of someone wandering around in the gloaming looking through people's windows & seeing what a good time everyone else is having. Or that's the image it gives me anyway.

Or how about Think of a World Without any Flowers. Another one to lift you up when you are feeling low. Not.

Moving on a couple of decades, there's always Martin Smith's

What a friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt your touch
More intimate than lovers
Jesus, Jesus, friend forever

What a hope I've found
More faithful than a mother
It would break my heart
To ever lose each other
Jesus, Jesus etc

This seems to combine sentiment, cringe-making sexual imagery, triteness, grammatical heresy and tiny subliminal hint of incest in about equal measures. Perfect.

BTW isn't Lord of The Dance by Sidney Carter not GK?

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i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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