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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns
Justin
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# 693

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quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
the lyrics to drop kick me jesus etc can be found here
if i did the link right.

Hey, guys. How dare you insult one of the best songs of all time. I have even written a specifically British version of it, for those of us who are here on the other side of the pond. To save you following the link - here are the original words-


DROPKICK ME JESUS (Paul Craft)

REFRAIN
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life
End over end, neither left nor to right
Straight through the heart of them righteous up-rights
Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goal-posts of life.


Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am
Make me a piece in Your master game plan
Free from the earthly tempestion below
I've got the will, Lord, if You got the toe.

REFRAIN

Bring on the brothers, who've gone on before
And all of the sisters, who've knocked on your door
All the departed, dear, loved ones of mine
Stick 'em up front in the offensive line.

REFRAIN

A lowley bench warmer I'm contented to be
Until the time when you have need of me
The flash on the big score board signs from on high
The big Super Bowl way up in the sky

REFRAIN (2x)

TAG: Yea! [Start refrain and fade.....]

And as I thought we Brits should not be outdone, I have written a more genteel version dedicated to a more civilised game:


REFRAIN
Hit me for six Lord in the Test Match of life
Right over mid-wicket and right out of sight
Way o'er yonder boundary `til fading light
Hit me for six Lord in the Test Match of life


Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am
Make me a piece in Your master game plan
I'll show those heathen just where it's at
`cos I`ve got the balls Lord if you've got the bat

REFRAIN


Through the evil one's Tests in your team I'll stay
'til you reign on earth (or rain stops play)
I'm looking forward to what heaven affords
`cos the King of Glory's also Lord of Lords.

Etc. etc.

Apologies for the really terrible final pun.
Anybody got any additional verses they might like to add? Or perhaps a version based on darts, or mud-wrestling, or...

--------------------
I'm an experimentalist. Please
speak slowly.


Posts: 91 | From: Bucks, UK | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Justin
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# 693

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quote:
Originally posted by nicolemrw:
speaking of spoofs, theres the famous:

i can go as fast as i please as
long as i have my plastic jesus
sittin' up there on the dashboard of my car.
i can go a hundred miles an hour
long as i have the almighty power
sittin' up there with my pair of fuzzy dice


I don't think this is a spoof - I have heard this sung in New Mexico - but the words
I heard (and sing) were


I don't care if it rains or freezes,
cos I've got my plastic Jesus
sitting on the dashboard of my car

I don't care if it's dark and scarey
cos I've got my plastic Mary
sitting on the dashboard of my car

Again, I love this song so much, that I could not help from making up a few more (I sing these on the way to work to keep my spirits up)


Not sure whether to worship God or Mammon,
Don't worry just keep a plastic Pat Buchanan
Sitting on the dashboard of your car

I'll shout Praise the Lord when I meet my maker
cos I always keep my plastic Tammy Bakker
Legs akimbo on the dashboard of my car

He might believe in a load of twaddle
But I still keep my plastic Glen Hoddle
Managing the dashboard of my car

I sing his songs, and am then sick
but I still keep my plastic Graham Kendrick
Shining on the dashboard of my car

She looks like heaven but could lead to Hell
cos my life-size plastic blow-up Baptist-Belle
Obscures the view from the dashboard of my car

More verses please all you hearties.

--------------------
I'm an experimentalist. Please
speak slowly.


Posts: 91 | From: Bucks, UK | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
David
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# 3

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I came across a delightful quote from C.S Lewis the other day.

quote:
Hymns are fifth-rate words set to sixth-rate music

Says it all, really.


Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
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# 174

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Debye Waller wrote:
quote:
And as I thought we Brits should not be outdone, I have written a more genteel version dedicated to a more civilised game:

REFRAIN
Hit me for six Lord in the Test Match of life


My dearest Debye,

With this one noble effort, you have managed to expunge what remaining anglophilia lurk in the depths of my soul.

I have been known to play bluegrass (I play string bass). I would dearly love to perform your noble offering, except nobody where I live would know what the hell we were singing about. Ah, the ephemerality of puns and parody.

tomb


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Elizabeth
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# 207

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Debye:

Another verse to the Classic Plasic Jesus Song I've heard is:

I can go roamin', I can go ramblin'
I've got the whole damn Holy Family
Sitting on the dashboard of my car...

I wonder how many verses there really are to this thing out there? Probably zillions!

--------------------
The Hunger Site is back!


Posts: 669 | From: The Place of Knee Deep Leaves | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
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# 174

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quote:
Originally posted by David:
I came across a delightful quote from C.S Lewis the other day.

quote: Hymns are fifth-rate words set to sixth-rate music

Says it all, really.


David, where, exactly, did you find this passage that you are quoting?

Book, chapter, and, if possible, edition and page number, please.

I think you are making this up. If you can't defend yourself, then it shall be broadswords at dawn (I shall have to borrow Wood's ginzu knife that he dribbles nastiness on, but nevermind).

If all this is true, then I am devastated. My hero has a tin ear.

(That doesn't make his sentiment any less full of kaka, but if this is true, then all that advice he gave that divorced woman in Connecticut is probably wrong, too.

I am (potentially) devastated.

Send in your proof, you Eucalyptus gnasher, you.

tomb


Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
David
Complete Bastard
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quote:
Book, chapter, and, if possible, edition and page number, please.

Ok then.

It's from "Answers to Questions on Christianity", first published as a pamphlet by the Electrical and Musical Industries Christian Fellowship (Hayes, Middlesex, 1944), and subsequently in Undeceptions(1971) and Timeless at Heart (1991).

I am reading from "Essay Collection & Other Short Pieces", HarperCollinsPublishers, 2000.

Page 328, if you want true precision.

Actually, it was a bit of a paraphrase: here's the relevant chunk of text in answer to the question "Is attendance at a place of worship or membership with a Christian community necessary to a Christian way of life?"

quote:
...If there is anything in the teaching of the New Testament which is in the nature of a command, it is that you are obliged to take the Sacrament, and you can't do that without going to church. I disliked very much their hymns, which I considered to be fifth-rate poems set to sixth-rate music.
[snip]
...I realised that the hymns (which were just sixth-rate music) were, nevertheless, being sung with devotion and benefit by an old saint in elastic-sided boots in the opposite pew, and then you realise that you aren't fit to clean those boots


Your apology is accepted.

[typos]

[ 10 July 2001: Message edited by: David ]


Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Elizabeth
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# 207

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Oh, tomb, there's this one from Jack too:

quote:
I naturally loathe nearly all hymns; the face and life of the charwoman in the next pew who revels in them, teach me that good taste in poetry or music are not necessary to salvation.

Got this from The Quotable Lewis under the heading Hymns. The citation is from Letters of C. S. Lewis (7 December 1950), para. 2, page 224.

I think you're right about the tin ear. And please put the sword down. It's really rather scary, y'know.

--------------------
The Hunger Site is back!


Posts: 669 | From: The Place of Knee Deep Leaves | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
David
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Tomb,

How do you know it's not you with the tin ear, or at least simple tastes?


Posts: 3815 | From: Redneck Wonderland | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rev per Minute
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# 69

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quote:
Originally posted by DebyeWaller:
[QB]Hey, guys. How dare you insult one of the best songs of all time. I have even written a specifically British version of it, for those of us who are here on the other side of the pond. [QB]

Of course, those of us dedicated to the great game of rugby need make fewer amendments - perhaps

let them run loose from the three-quarter line

The final 'Super Bowl' line can be amended to personal taste- - 'Arms Park' fits very well, I feel

--------------------
"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor

At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken


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caty
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# 85

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Anyone else know the Wendy Cope poem, forget what it's called, with the wonderful lines:

When I went out shopping
I said a little prayer
Jesus, help me find a space
For you are everywhere.

Jesus found me a parking space
In a very convienient place
Sound the horn and praise Him!


(Scary thing is, she's taking the rip, but it sounds all too authentic...!)

caty


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Oriel
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# 748

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How about this for a spoof? I can`t remember where I got it from, but the song (Be bold, be strong) is one we used to sing in church and CU for many of my childhood and teenage years.

Buy Bold
It`s strong
And it washes whiter than Persil
Buy Bold
It`s strong
And it washes whiter than Persil
Is your washing clean? (No! No! No!)
Put it back in the machine
Washes whiter than white at a price that`s right
Buy Bold, buy Bold.

As far as other songs already mentioned go, I remember singing the aeroplane song in the school choir. I never thought it was anything but a parody, with a possible nod to the Cargo Cults. Over The Mountains And The Sea several people have mentioned, but no-one has yet spoken of the worst bit of all: the bridge.

Oh I feel like dancing
It`s foolishness I know
But when the world has seen the light
They will dance for joy like we`re dancing now..

This is usually sung while the whole congregation is standing stock still, and whether any of them feel like dancing or not.

Someone earlier mentioned that Jerusalem starts with four questions, the answr to each is "No". But that`s the point, isn`t it? He didn`t walk here, and Jerusalem wasn`t builded here. We have to build it ourselves (the point of the second verse).

A couple of gripes of my own:

I`m coming back to the heart of worship
And it`s all about you, all about you Jesus
I`m sorry Lord for the thing I`ve made it
When it`s all about you, all about you Jesus

If it`s all about Jesus, why are we singing about worship? (Actually, my feeling is that this is actually a very personal song written by a famous worship leader who realised he was on the wrong track, and to use it in congregational singing at all is to miss the point he was making.)

My last gripe is also my absolute favourite hymn of all time ever. Be Thou My Vision. My gripe is this: The song is sung to a tune called Slane. The words I learnt scan nicely. The words that most people sing, don`t. In the church where I am, I have to make a snap decision as to which syllables to stretch, and then lead the rest of the congregation strongly, because everything would fall apart completely if I didn`t. And yet no-one seems to care, or even realise that something is wrong!

Mind you, I think the worst sin of all as far as that tune is concerned is to try and make it "rocky" and upbeat, by changing it from 3/4 to 4/4! Aaaaaaaaaaaghh!

--------------------
Unlike the link previously in my sig, I actually update my Livejournal from time to time.


Posts: 796 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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My own personal wish-I-could-rip-them-out-of-the-hymnal-forever-and-ever-amens...

Well, one I truly despise is a line in ... okay, let me clarify, I am an American citizen (but I think more like a British one, and frankly a quite archaic one). This is a hymn you won't have -- lucky!!

I think this line is theologically just wrong.

In one of our national hymns -- which is to the tune of God Save the Queen and was apparently borrowed from it, with changed lyrics -- we find this ghastly gem:

Long may our land be bright
With freedom's holy light
Protect us by Thy might
Great God our King.

It's that "freedom's holy light" which gets me and I can't bear to sing that part. However wonderful our earthly freedoms are, they're not holy. Eyurgh.

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Phil R.:
"Bind us together" (Oh please, get a life)


Oh, I like "Bind Us Together," but for the wrong reasons.

It just needs an accompanying song about flagellation and we're all set.

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Ann:
"I Been Roped And Throwed By Jesus In The Holy Ghost Corral."

Mmmmm, another nice one to add to my playlist.

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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DMcV
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# 545

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quote:
Actually, my feeling is that this is actually a very personal song written by a famous worship leader who realised he was on the wrong track, and to use it in congregational singing at all is to miss the point he was making.

Indeed, Oriel, and a charitable interpretation of the 'I, I, I' orientation of so many modern worship songs might indeed be that they were written by intense singer/songwriters who don't know how to write for corporate worship.

Not quite a song or hymn, but anyone share my hate for the 'Footprints' poem celebrated in so many forms in so many Christian bookshops. The chuffing woman who wrote it actually was at a special meeting in our church a while back to acclamation that suggested she was a poetic titan to match Rabbie Burns, TS Eliot or Sylvia Plath.

COME ON!!!!!! Yes, God is always there and carries us through the hard times. But there are better ways to express that truth than through this soppy, trite, pompous taradiddle!

Unless, of course, you think differently...

--------------------
You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


Posts: 169 | From: Above and to the right of Glasgow | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rev per Minute
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# 69

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quote:
Originally posted by DMcV:
Not quite a song or hymn, but anyone share my hate for the 'Footprints' poem celebrated in so many forms in so many Christian bookshops.

A rare chance to use this 'smilie'

I think I liked 'Footprints' when I first saw it - when I was about eight. It now sets my teeth on edge just thinking about it: it appears everywhere and seems to meet the current need of a completely unchallenging approach to life. Some people love it, but I really can't stand the sight of it...

grrr

Calm down, get a coffee and breakfast...

Nope, not enough. Aaaagh! No arguments from me, DMcV.

--------------------
"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor

At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken


Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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Even Hell cannot contain my feelings regarding that dreadful piece of soppy egesta.

I think I have a new entry for Room 101


Heheheheheheheheh

--------------------
Might as well ask the bloody cat.


Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Old Hundredth
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# 112

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quote:
Originally posted by Oriel:

My last gripe is also my absolute favourite hymn of all time ever. Be Thou My Vision. My gripe is this: The song is sung to a tune called Slane. The words I learnt scan nicely. The words that most people sing, don`t. In the church where I am, I have to make a snap decision as to which syllables to stretch, and then lead the rest of the congregation strongly, because everything would fall apart completely if I didn`t. And yet no-one seems to care, or even realise that something is wrong!


In my church we sing a slightly modified version which has the right number of syllables. I agree it is distracting if you are constantly having to think ahead about which syllables to elongate over two notes. E-mail or PM me if you would like a copy (I'm the music librarian so I have access to these things!).

--------------------
If I'm not in the Chapel, I'll be in the bar (Reno Sweeney, 'Anything Goes')


Posts: 976 | From: The land of the barm cake | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alaric the Goth
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# 511

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I often eat my tea off a tray with the 'Footprints' poem on it that the wife's mother gave us, knowing we are Christians. I'll give you your meal on it when you next visit us, Karl, if you really like it so much!
(Won't get any mead at this rate...)

--------------------
'Angels and demons dancing in my head,
Lunatics and monsters underneath my bed' ('Totem', Rush)

Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
BigAL
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# 750

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The Ravens wings went FLAP FLAP FLAP
as down to the river the flew
they picked up meat they picked up bread as
God had told then too.
A little old widow came picking up sticks as Elijah passed that way
She baked him a cake of oil and meal that never would fade away

Gods word shall never fail,
never fail
never fail.
Gods word shall never fail,
No, never fail.

I have a feeling I have missed something out ... but I think you get the idea..
What makes this truely remarkable are the actions that can be done.....

--------------------
The Bible contains the Answer of that I am certain


Posts: 507 | From: Newcastle, UK | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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Hopefully frequent use will wear the damned thing off the tray....

--------------------
Might as well ask the bloody cat.

Posts: 17938 | From: Chesterfield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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quote:
Originally posted by Rhisiart:
A rare chance to use this 'smilie'


I think I liked 'Footprints' when I first saw it - when I was about eight. It now sets my teeth on edge just thinking about it: it appears everywhere and seems to meet the current need of a completely unchallenging approach to life. Some people love it, but I really can't stand the sight of it...


grrr


Calm down, get a coffee and breakfast...



Nope, not enough. Aaaagh! No arguments from me, DMcV.



A lot of the things that set my teeth on edge were not bad, or even very nice, the first time I met them.

The problem is that my environment has been saturated with them. The people who distribute stuff don't understand that anything which you have seen or heard a thousand times before will send you up a wall, even if you liked it the first time.

This is one of my main gripes against modern culture.

Moo

--------------------
Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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quote:
Originally posted by ptarmigan:
I've just discovered gold in the attic - a tape entitled "Battle Cry" which is live worship from "Festival" - a jamboree in 1987 for certain strands of the UK House Church movement...
Pt

I could spill a lot of beans (check the credits)!!!

Graham Day

--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Oriel
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# 748

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quote:

In my church we sing a slightly modified version which has the right number of syllables.

Yes. What makes it worse is that the version that scans is the version I *originally learnt*, so it grates all the more simply on grounds of the "not the right words" phenomenon.

Scans:

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Be all else but naught to me, save that Thou art
Be Thou my best thought in the day and the night
Both waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light

Does Not Scan:

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought, by day and by night
Waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light

Not to mention the fact that the unscanning version is full of verbless sentences (Thou my best thought, for example, and many others in subsequent verses, all of which are prefixed with "be" in the scanning version).

--------------------
Unlike the link previously in my sig, I actually update my Livejournal from time to time.


Posts: 796 | From: Scotland | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Rev per Minute
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# 69

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
Hopefully frequent use will wear the damned thing off the tray....

Of course, an unusually abrasive cloth (e.g. wire wool) might accidentally remove it, or accidentally leaving the tray outside in the sun for the summer

--------------------
"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor

At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken


Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Qlib:
At the great age of about 7 I really despised and hated this song : ...So let the sun shine in...
* I believe it may have been American in origin.


Be very, very afraid.

It was from The Flintstones.

I remember it, too. Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm sang it once.

Check the web -- I am sure a .wav file exists for this.

And run.

Run now.

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by DMcV:
Turn, turn, turn or burn!

Turn, turn, turn or burn!

Turn, turn, turn or burn!

Thus Saith the Lord.


Actually a spoof a few of us made up during an idle moment at an SU Camp years ago, but there are still places it would go down a storm, I'm sure.



Mainly in America, I'm afraid.



--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
I just have a hard time keeping reverent thoughts singing a song set to, say, "Smells like teen spirit" when the lyrics of the original are what I'm thinking about.


Oh ick. Can anyone even make those out? I love Weird Al Yankovic's parody... What is this song allll about... can't figure any lyrics out... how do the words to it go... I wish you'd tell me, I don't know (don't know, don't know, don't know...)

One favorite parody of mine is Monty Python's All Things Dull and Ugly which if no one else has posted (embarrassment! I posted the Flintstones info and someone else already had, I found out ONE POST LATER...) then I might.

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by DMcV:
A cringy chorus often wrung out in our church that has a line thus:

A new day is dawning...when the children of promise/Shall flow together as one...

Makes me feel like turning to the person next to me and asking if they'd like a flower.


Or if this is some mishap of genetic engineering.


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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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Aha! They have not posted it! And so...

All things dull and ugly, all creatures short and squat
All things rude and nasty, the Lord God made the lot

Each little snake that poisons, each little wasp that stings
He made their brutish venom, He made their horrid wings

All things sick and cancerous, all evil great and small
All things foul and dangerous, the Lord God made them all

Each nasty little hornet, each beastly little squid
Who made the spiky urchin? Who made the shark? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous, all pox both great and small
Putrid, foul and gangrenous, The Lord God made them all


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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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Hands down one of my least favorite hymns of all time:
Earth & All Stars #558
1.Earth and all stars! Loud rushing planets! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Oh, victory! Loud shouting army! Sing to the Lord a new song! Refrain

Refrain: He has done marvelous things. I too will praise him with a new song!

2.Hail, wind, and rain! Loud blowing snow storm! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Flowers and trees! Loud rustling dry leaves! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Refrain

3.Trumpet and pipes! Loud clashing cymbals! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Harp, lute, and lyre! Loud humming cellos! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Refrain

4.Engines and steel! Loud pounding hammers! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Limestone and beams! Loud building workers! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Refrain

5.Classrooms and labs! Loud boiling test tubes! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Athlete and band! Loud cheering people! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Refrain

6.Knowledge and truth! Loud sounding wisdom! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Daughter and son! Loud praying members! Sing to the Lord a new song!
Refrain

Copyright Test: Herbert Brokering 1926; Tune David Johnson.

"Loud boiling test tubes"!?

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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Oh, and here's another to go with "Footprints": WWJD?

If this has not spread to the UK, it means "What Would Jesus Do?"

I find it almost completely useless as a guide to life. I usually find myself imagining Him doing something supernatural in whatever the situation is (healing the sick, etc.). Obviously He would not do something clearly sinful, but for the minutiae of life, which is what really distracts me and trips me up, I often find myself caught between two apparent goods rather than a good and an obvious bad.

Add to that, that I always imagine a web site: www.jd? (I hope it ends in an .org and not in a .com. Brrr.)

Over here it's been plastered on every possible surface (well, okay, not condoms*) for some time. Often worn by teens.

*(so far as I know...)

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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Over in MW we have our own little saying WWCS What Would Cosmo Say. Father Cosmo is very knowledgable, and has some very strongly held beliefs and preferences.

I saw a fellow youth leader in my church wearing a WWJD loop from which dangled her whistle. I almost burst out laughing, as I mentally substitued WWJD for WWCS.

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stephen
Shipmate
# 40

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Oh. Babybear!!You beat me to it!
But I know I'm going to come out with WWCS one day if front of non-shipmates.....methinks I'll have a lot of explaining to do!!
WWCS?

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Best Wishes
Stephen

'Be still,then, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted in the earth' Ps46 v10

Posts: 3954 | From: Alto C Clef Country | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Reepicheep
BANNED
# 60

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No BB, don't. please! I just fell off my chair at the thought of it.

And I have seen one of the CU lads proudly sporting WWJD boxer shorts! (elastic visible over waistband) I was in stitches, trying not to laugh as he talked about his commitment to his girlfriend..... WWCS indeed!

(Who I know is getting really, really frustrated)


Posts: 2199 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stephen
Shipmate
# 40

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And probably fed up with us talking about him behind his back....
Watch out for a volley of English Missiles

--------------------
Best Wishes
Stephen

'Be still,then, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted in the earth' Ps46 v10

Posts: 3954 | From: Alto C Clef Country | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Alexandra , who writes very good parodies, posted this one of Jesus loves me more than a year ago.

*********************************************

Jesus loves me, I'm so glad,
Never tells me I've been bad.
He's my mascot, he's my pet,
Everything I want I get.
Yes, Jesus loves me,
Yes, Jesus loves me,
Yes Jesus loves me,
He loves me more than you.

*********************************************

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.


Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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I vote that one be included in the Diocese of Foulness hymnal.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
jlg

What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98

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I just read throught the entire thread (so much for keeping the on-line charges within bounds!). It was wonderful therapy (I was bellylaughing at the many parodies and horrible originals).

But of course I now have a list of comments to make, in no particular order.

"Lord of the Dance" is a set of silly '70s words set to a venerable Shaker hymn "Simple Gifts".
Tis a gift to be simple,
tis a gift to be free,
tis a gift to come down where you ought to be...

The last of the Shakers are here in New England, and about a year ago a CD was released which recorded the few remaining Shaker ladies singing their hymns for and with a small professional group. It will blow that horrible "Lord of the Dance" right out of your memory.

Gill H -- thank you for the "It's Pants"! I will add it to my mental distractions while singing with my Baptist friends. It didn't take me long to recognize it, despite the lack of music. And I have always been irritated by it, because they sing it without written notation and therefore I'm still not sure exactly how it goes.

"Morning has Broken" is a Cat Stevens song from the '70s; I always thought he wrote it, but perhaps not. As a folk/pop song, I like it, but it is definitely NOT a congregational hymn (especially with organ), and it irritates me no end as part of a church service. (It's the contemporary version of How Great Thou Art).

Paulalizzie, the theme from Chariots of Fire IS a hymn, the one with the words from Blake which someone negated here. I happen to LOVE "Jerusalem", but have already had to concede to the RC locals that it isn't an acceptable hymn due to the words. I did get to sing it once for a wedding because it was the favorite hymn of the Scottish groom's mother.


Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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Grammatical note for Oriel:
quote:

Not to mention the fact that the unscanning version is full of verbless sentences (Thou my best thought, for example, and many others in subsequent verses, all of which are prefixed with "be" in the scanning version).

Your objection to the grammar of the sentences is unnecessary. Elision allows for non-repetition of words and the hearer can be expected to infer the presence of missing words. An example:
a - Did you go?
b - Yes.
a doesn't fill in the context because b should be able to infer it.
b doesn't fill in the I did of "Yes I did" (and thus produces a verbless sentence most people couldn't care less about).
Moreover - your preferred version uses the same implied imperative in its final line:
Be Thou my best thought in the day and the night
Both waking and sleeping, Thy presence my light

The objection to scansion holds better ground than the objection to grammar.

Cat Stevens didn't write Morning has broken - unless he was also called Eleanor Farjeon and died in 1965.

And as for the Tea-Tray. I suggest, dear Alaric, that you take up decoupage experimentally just once. Try it out on the tea tray (badly). Give up decoupage and bin your effort at it.

Problem sorted.

'frin

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"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.


Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
DMcV
Shipmate
# 545

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Re WWJD.

Just back last week from an SU Camp where several kids bought WWJD bracelets from the bookstall. Not sure they knew what the initials meant and I certainly didn't tell them.

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You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


Posts: 169 | From: Above and to the right of Glasgow | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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A while ago on the Ship we had alternative versions of Footprints, and someone came up with the last line '... it was then that we were hopping'.

Cracks me up, and I love the thought of hopping along a beach with Jesus!

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose


Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
DMcV
Shipmate
# 545

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quote:
A while ago on the Ship we had alternative versions of Footprints, and someone came up with the last line '... it was then that we were hopping'.

LOL!

Oh dear, Gill, if anyone refers to Footprints in a future housegroup or prayer meeting I'll have a spluttery outburst of hysterical laughter to explain.

Thanks a lot!

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You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


Posts: 169 | From: Above and to the right of Glasgow | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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The "that was when we were hopping" probably emanates from the Revd. Simon "used to write for Spitting Image, now a vicar in north London and does reviews in the Church Times when Edward Wickham is on holiday" Parke.

"And then I saw 4,000 sets of footprints, and I asked the Lord 'Was that when we were surrounded by the heavenly host?' and he said, 'No. That's when we were run over by a herd of migrating wilderbeest."

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"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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This version must be reconstructed!

Do you think the rev. might still have a copy?

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Siegfried
Ship's ferret
# 29

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quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Siegfried:
[qb]I just have a hard time keeping reverent thoughts singing a song set to, say, "Smells like teen spirit" when the lyrics of the original are what I'm thinking about.


Oh ick. Can anyone even make those out? I love Weird Al Yankovic's parody... What is this song allll about... can't figure any lyrics out... how do the words to it go... I wish you'd tell me, I don't know (don't know, don't know, don't know...) [/QB][/QUOTE]

Actually, Tori Amos has done a cover of it--and in her version, you can actually understand the lyrics. And they are rather deep, surprisingly. Gave me a greater appreciation for Kurt Cobain's talent. Although his taste in women left much to be desired.

Sieg

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Siegfried
Life is just a bowl of cherries!


Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
frin

Drinking coffee for Jesus
# 9

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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
This version must be reconstructed!


Do you think the rev. might still have a copy?


bb


We have it on tape somewhere (surveying mess that is this room *shudder*). I'll look it out for you when I return.

'frin

--------------------
"Even the crocodile looks after her young" - Lamentations 4, remembering Erin.


Posts: 4496 | From: a library | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
fadethecat
Apprentice
# 446

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I loved the version of Footprints that The Door came out with not too long ago; evidently the set of footprints alone comes from when Jesus left to have a beer with the Father, because he "couldn't stand to listen to your whining anymore."
Posts: 22 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420

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I am laughing so much at the "double entendre" post that it's hard for me to get the asbestos round my shoulders. I have fortunately been in a church that has wonderful music for a time, so I missed a great deal of the songs to which many of you were subjected. (Are they all real?)

I once remember, at a charismatic convention about 24 years ago, a group of young people singing this repetitive "God's not dead - he's still alive - he's living in my hands, living in my feet, living in my whole body." Quite odd theology, that! It was horrible.

Then, during the same era, there was vast trouble with misplaced modifiers. One godawful favourite contained the lines: "
Every night before I sleep, I pray my soul to take. Or else I pray that loneliness is gone when I awake." Though I'd never deny that loneliness can be a horrid pain, I doubt many of us would ask God to have us die tonight if we'll be lonely tomorrow.

I must admit that, on the one occasion when I heard "There is a Fountain filled with Blood," I could not finish my lunch for two days...

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Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn


Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged



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