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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Crappy Choruses and Horrible Hymns
Edward Green
Review Editor
# 46

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Whilst on kids sings <ahem>:

God loves you, and I love you and that's the way it should be,
Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump!
God loves you, and I love you and that's the way it should be,
Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump!

I could be happy and you could be happy, and that's the way it should be,
Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump!
I could be happy and you could be happy, and that's the way it should be,
Jump, Jump, Jump, Jump!

<slow>

I could be very sad, and you could be very sad, and that's not the way it should be,
Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump
I could be very sad, and you could be very sad, and that's not the way it should be,
Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump

Because ....

and repeat until the little darlings pass out.

--------------------
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ptarmigan
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# 138

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Nicholas Parson asked if anyone remembered "The joy of the Lord is my strength".

quote:
Originally posted by Dyfrig:
Please tell me you've made that one up.

I'm afraid he didn't Dyfrig. I had mercifully forgotten it but remember it all too well now. The tune is also delightfully vacuous, consisting of singing up and down arpeggios.

There were more verses:

If you want joy you can shout for it (*3)
The joy of the Lord is my strength

If you want joy you can jump for it (*3)
The joy of the Lord is my strength

etc


Another one I won't be able to get out of my mind I'm afraid. Made me laugh though. Thanks Nicholas!

Pt

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All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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Oh dear. I....I don't know what to say.

Just when you thought the Church couldn't plumb the depths any further.....

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"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Newman's Own
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# 420

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Now you've done it, sacredthree! Your very on target comments about "His banner over me is love" made me choke with laughter.

I must be naive. A number of the songs mentioned on this thread I had heard years back, but thought they were the creation of the "singer."

I remember one fatuous but extremely catchy song I once heard a Confirmation class sing (this would have been c. 1978). Worse yet, they used the lyrics for "discussion," during which they discussed all of the "Trinitys" (for example, parents, siblings and themselves; teachers, classmates and themselves... yes, theology has advanced when one becomes a person of the Trinity.) I blessedly have forgotten most of it (and doubt anyone will beg for the rest), but here are snippets I remember:

I'm alive in Christ,
He's alive in me,
And that pretty well sums up my whole philosophy...

And he lives in you,
And he lives in me,
And the three of us together, that's community..

What a happy place this whole world would be
If we all could learn to live in peace and harmony,
What a very happy state we'd all be in,
We'd be alive in him.

I also vaguely remember hearing some little children sing a song about "And if the devil doesn't like it he can sit on a tack.." (?)

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn


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Emily
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# 437

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Slightly off-beat, but hey . . .

The original translation of "Jesus lives" missed the point somewhat:

Jesus lives no longer now
Can thy terrors, Death, appal us?

Which rather suggests that the answer should be "Yes"!


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ptarmigan
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# 138

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quote:
Originally posted by Emily:
Slightly off-beat, but hey . . .

The original translation of "Jesus lives" missed the point somewhat:

Jesus lives no longer now
Can thy terrors, Death, appal us?

Which rather suggests that the answer should be "Yes"!



I thinnk you may have the punctuation wrong Emily. I think it would have been more like:

Jesus lives.
No longer now can thy terrors, Death, appal us.

The version in my hymn book (and I think it's a wonderful hymn; they can sing it at my funeral if they want) is (if I remember correctly):

Jesus lives. Thy terrors now can no more, Oh Death, appal us.

I agree though that as a hearer can only hear the metre and not the punctuation, the first version is sadly open to misinterpretation. Indeed as well as misinterpreting the second line, you might respond to the first line by asking "Why do you sing in other hymns that Jesus is still alive then?"

Pt

--------------------
All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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Ingeborg S. Nordén
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# 894

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quote:
Originally posted by sacredthree:
Whilst on kids sings <ahem>:

<slow>

I could be very sad, and you could be very sad, and that's not the way it should be,
Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump
I could be very sad, and you could be very sad, and that's not the way it should be,
Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump, Juuuump


Other than the jumping (which is annoying in itself), I see at least one other thing wrong with that song. It implies that sadness is morally wrong, that Christians should never feel anything other than "happiness at God's love" and that no other situation matters. Even the Bible doesn't imply that God expects THAT of his followers!


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Ingeborg S. Nordén
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# 894

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quote:
Originally posted by Karl:
The 'if only 'twere so' Prize is up for grabs between these two classic lines:

my heart's one desire/is to be holy

and, of course,

and in His presence/our problems disappear

Further nominations?


Others have covered the "problems disappear" line in depth, so I'll stick with the other one. The idea that Christians should love nothing other than Jesus, desire nothing other than salvation or holiness is one of the reasons I de-converted. Never mind that earthly desires are not always for inherently evil things, or always intended to push God out of the way: "thou shalt have no other desire, period" is the theology those lyrics seem to encourage.


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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Two shudders of agreement here on those last two, Ingeborg!

And the things of Earth shall grow strangely dim in the light of His etc.

Ugh. Always hated that. But as I've said elsewhere it was Christianity that taught me to love things in this world. I think Jesus illuminates the good things in His creation...

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:

Joy is the flag flying high from the castle of my heart,
from the castle of my heart,
from the castle of my heart,
Joy is the flag flying high from the castle of my heart,
When the King is in residence there.


you missed the chorus out and you didn't write about totally inane and obvious actions....!!!

one that our vicar introduced about a week ago.....ready for this???

ho-o-o-ly spirit
ho-o-o-ly spirit
pour your power
pour your power
on me
on me
on me

ho-o-o-ly spirit
ho-o-o-ly spirit
send your fire
send your fire
pour your power
pour your power
on me
on me
on me

it goes on, ending with

ho-o-o-ly spirit
ho-o-o-ly spirit
bring revival (shake hands above head)
bring revival
set me free (mime fountain of water coming from your tummy, through your head)
set me free
guide my life (can't explain this one)
guide my life
talk to me (cup hands round mouth)
talk to me
bring your healing (right hand on left, at arms length???)
bring your healing
send your fire (flutter fingers down)
send your fire
pour your power (again, indescribable)
pour your power
on me
on me
on me!!!!!!

a theological masterpiece, combined with wonderful actions that will have you all cringing and hiding...ooops, i meant to say joining in!!!

and by the 4th/5th time through everyone is lost, and desperately trying to remember what comes next, because vicar insists we put service sheets down, 'in order to free up our hands'

on another note - ha ha ha ha ha song has to be a joke??? please tell me you made it up???


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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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Sarkycow - your vicar's not due for retirement soon, is he?

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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ChastMastr
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# 716

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What is this "moving hands around whilst singing" everyone's talking about? Is this a British thing or a Sunday school thing or a Protestant thing? I've not been in a regular service and encountered it...

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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Tina
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# 63

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From the wonderful world of cheesy children's choruses:

'Oh Lord we want to sing your praises
We want to praise your name every day
(Repeat)
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Haaaal-leeee-luuuu-jaaaah
Oh Lord we want to sing your praises' etc

Sing to the tune of 'La Bamba', while waving arms from side to side (if you really have to)

Or there's the fruit song (which I believe Ishmael was responsible for)

'I am the apple of God's eye
His banana over me is love
He oranges His angels to take care of me
As his blessings plum-met from above
I never have to play the gooseberry
Or feel like a lemon, no not me
For wherever this man-goes (can I get the inclusive language police onto this?)
A raspberry he never blows
I will praise Him on the tangerine
I will praise Him on the mandarin
(two more lines which have mercifully disappeared from my memory)

I've thankfully never heard this latter at my church, only on beach missions. So presumably it's the kind of thing that's going to attract non-Christians to the Church?


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Kindness is mandatory. Anger is necessary. Despair is a terrible idea. Despair is how they win. They won't win forever.


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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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Oh dear God.

pyx_e, jlg - all is forgiven. Can I come to one of your latin servics?

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"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
What is this "moving hands around whilst singing" everyone's talking about? Is this a British thing or a Sunday school thing or a Protestant thing? I've not been in a regular service and encountered it...

I think I know the one you mean. People clap while moving their hands in all sorts of random direction. First time I saw it I thought they were trying to catch mosquitoes. No idea what it's about though so maybe someone can enlighten us.

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


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Newman's Own
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# 420

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Sorry to say, I didn't make up any of the absurd songs which I referenced. So many seemed like satires...

Hand gestures, usually very strange, have been in vogue (only in certain places) in recent years. I have gathered that the gestures have no particular meaning in themselves.

Here is one that tops them all, though I doubt it will have its full impact "in print." The melody had a range of about three tones, and was repeated three or four times, each time in a slightly higher key. (I'm cringing at the memory, which of course is from the charismatic days. "Lift" apparently meant praise, but I kept picturing Romans nailing him to yet another cross..)

Lift Jesus higher,
Lift Jesus higher,
Lift him up for the world to see,
He said 'if I be lifted up from the world,
I'll call all men unto me.'

...or is that quite as bad as when a pentecostal congregation had everyone place tissue on their combs and "play" "When the Saints Go Marching In," while the musicians accompanied them with "percussion" (cooking pots, not drums!)

--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn


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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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I always hate that "first person removed" stuff. Like flight attendants that say, "We want to thank you for flying British Air." Well, then just do it! You don't have to tell me what you want to do; just do it!

Congregation: Oh Lord we want to sing your praises
We want to praise your name every day

God: Then why don't you? I'm not stopping you!

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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I'm reminded of a Christian one-panel comic strip I saw once.

Man, praying in a group: "Oh, Lord, we justwannajustwannajustwannajustwanna..."

Woman, pointing at man: "Someone do something! He's stuck!"

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


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Ingeborg S. Nordén
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# 894

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In the same vein--people who pray "Lord, make us thankful..." If they already want to thank him for something, they should just say so! Besides, "making" someone thankful suggests robbing them of free will, a "love me and thank me OR ELSE" God.
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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
I'm reminded of a Christian one-panel comic strip I saw once.

Man, praying in a group: "Oh, Lord, we justwannajustwannajustwannajustwanna..."

Woman, pointing at man: "Someone do something! He's stuck!"



We call those the "prayers of the just"

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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"We want to thank you for flying British Airways...

... but I'm sorry, we just can't. We've been living this lie long enough..."

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


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GeoffH
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# 133

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quote:
Originally posted by Siegfried:
Shirley, good Miss Murphy shall follow me...

Also


I will make you viscious old men

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Geoff H - an unreconstructed proddy


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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Tina:
Or there's the fruit song (which I believe Ishmael was responsible for)

'I am the apple of God's eye
His banana over me is love
He oranges His angels to take care of me
As his blessings plum-met from above
I never have to play the gooseberry
Or feel like a lemon, no not me
For wherever this man-goes (can I get the inclusive language police onto this?)
A raspberry he never blows
I will praise Him on the tangerine
I will praise Him on the mandarin
(two more lines which have mercifully disappeared from my memory)


well, if you're going to drag that one to the front of my memeory (gee thanks), then how about:

if jesus is de-vine
then we must be de branches
if jesus is de-vine
then we must be de branches
if jesus is de-vine
then we must be de branches
and bear fruit in de kingdom of god!

if jesus is de rock
den we must be a little boulder
if jesus is de rock
den we must be a little boulder
if jesus is de rock
den we must be a little boulder
and bear fruit in de kingdom of god!

if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
and bear fruit in de kingdom of god!

*shudder* i won't sleep for weeks now

viki

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


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Moo

Ship's tough old bird
# 107

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Sarkycow, I think you've just come up with the worst one yet.

I'm glad I don't know a tune for it. It might stick in my mind.

Moo

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Kerygmania host
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See you later, alligator.


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Ingeborg S. Nordén
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# 894

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quote:
Originally posted by sarkycow:
well, if you're going to drag that one to the front of my memeory (gee thanks), then how about:

if jesus is de-vine
then we must be de branches


*groan* Lousy pun, but at least Biblical and logical.

quote:
if jesus is de rock
den we must be a little boulder

Ummm, I get the feeling that doesn't scan...even if the lyricist did mean to play on "bolder" here, that "a little" feels clumsy (and illogical--boulders are HUGE!)

quote:
if jesus is de rock
den we must be a little boulder
and bear fruit in de kingdom of god!

Last time I checked, stones of any kind didn't bear fruit. Mixing metaphors just to squeeze in a pun STINKS!

quote:
if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
if jesus is de bread
is your name on de roll now?
and bear fruit in de kingdom of god!

*shudder* i won't sleep for weeks now

viki


Bad pun #3 (with a non-sequitur yet); I get the feeling that the lyricist had to meet a three-verse minimum and was scribbling this one when s/he ran dry.


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Flubb
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# 918

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One that used to annoy one of my friends:
'My God loves me
and all the wonders i see
the rainbow shines through my window'

at which point she'd wave her hands in agitation because rainbows don't shine.

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In cyberspace everyone can hear your spleen...


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DMcV
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# 545

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Generally, all the modern choruses that are sung by 'I' and not 'we' - and so are totally unsuitable for congregational singing.

Having said that, yon ploddy AOR ballady one that goes 'and Lord we want to thank you/for the works you've done in our lives...'

Euch

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You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


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Karl: Liberal Backslider
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# 76

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Forced Meter 101....

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Might as well ask the bloody cat.

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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Ingeborg S. Nordén:
Bad pun #3 (with a non-sequitur yet); I get the feeling that the lyricist had to meet a three-verse minimum and was scribbling this one when s/he ran dry.

either that, or it was written in that wild-eyed, hair-pulling-out time, about 3am in the morning, when you have a deadline of 8am, and you've been drinking coffee since 3pm to try and get this damm thing written!!!!!!

or is it only me who ever hits that particular time of morning/day/night/unreality??

viki

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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


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Laxton's Superba
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# 228

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Something that's been missed on these threads so far as I can see... what about names of chorus composers?? e.g. Mark Altrogge? Debbye Graafsma??? are these anagrams? Randy Speirs? am I the only one standing in church thinking "no way"?!
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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Last week I realised I could no longer sing 'Jesus, we enthrone you' (which I had never much liked anyway). It suddenly occurred to me to ask:What's all this about putting Jesus on the throne? Who are we to say we can 'raise God up' with our praise? Isn't it God who lifts us up? What incredible presumption to invite the Lord Jesus to 'come and take your place'! How very kind of us to invite him!

On a very much earlier tack (I'm just catching up) I agree about the Deeply Wailing bit in 'Lo he comes', but like others, love the tune, so I wrote my one and only hymn in the form of new words to 'Helmsley', and got it published! YOu will find it in the hymnbook 'Praise' (oops, if you look it up you will know my identity).

Please don't be rude, however, about 'Will you come and follow me' from Iona. We sing it every year at our covenant renewal service and it's one of the few hymns that is honest about the cost of discipleship.

As for parodies, how about:

We are bored
We are bored
We have sung this sixteen times and we are bored.
Every song doth pall
We have sung them all
And we are very bored.

(If you didn't guess, sung to the tune of 'He is Lord').

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

http://reversedstandard.wordpress.com/


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Esmeralda

Ship's token UK Mennonite
# 582

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Further thoughts as reading some more of the older posts has inspired me.
My (past)vicar's wife and I had to prevent ourselves collapsing when we encountered 'I sing a song of the saints of God' by Mrs Lesbia Scott (yes really). It contains the immortal lines:
'And one was a soldier, and one was a queen
And one was a shepherdess on the green'
and each verse concludes with
'And I mean to be one, too'.

Meanwhile on the subject of misheard lines, what about 'Make a swan, Lord' (think about it..).

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I can take the despair. It's the hope I can't stand.

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mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

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quote:
Originally posted by Esmeralda:
Last week I realised I could no longer sing 'Jesus, we enthrone you' (which I had never much liked anyway). It suddenly occurred to me to ask:What's all this about putting Jesus on the throne? Who are we to say we can 'raise God up' with our praise?

The idea wasn't so crazy to the writers of the psalms, or many other books of scripture:

"Yet thou art holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel" (Ps 22:3)

"O magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together!" (Ps 34:3)

"O LORD, thou art my God; I will exalt thee" (Is 25:1)

"And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord" (Lk 1:46)

"The LORD is my strength and song, and he is become my salvation: he is my God, and I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, and I will exalt him." (Ex 15:2)

"The LORD liveth; and blessed be my rock; and let the God of my salvation be exalted" (Ps 18:46)

"Exalt ye the LORD our God, and worship at his footstool; for he is holy" (Ps 99:5)

"Exalt the LORD our God, and worship at his holy hill; for the LORD our God is holy" (Ps 99:9)

Alex

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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...


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Ingeborg S. Nordén
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# 894

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quote:
Originally posted by Esmeralda:
On a very much earlier tack (I'm just catching up) I agree about the Deeply Wailing bit in 'Lo he comes', but like others, love the tune, so I wrote my one and only hymn in the form of new words to 'Helmsley', and got it published! YOu will find it in the hymnbook 'Praise' (oops, if you look it up you will know my identity).

Please don't be rude, however, about 'Will you come and follow me' from Iona. We sing it every year at our covenant renewal service and it's one of the few hymns that is honest about the cost of discipleship.



*nods* After hearing the umpteenth "come" double entendre pointed out, it's no longer funny...besides, lustful thoughts in church are an even bigger sin than they would be elsewhere.


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ptarmigan
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# 138

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quote:
Originally posted by DMcV:
...

Having said that, yon ploddy AOR ballady one that goes 'and Lord we want to thank you/for the works you've done in our lives...'



It goes as follows (if memory serves):

Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise.
The city of our God, the holy place.
The joy of the whole earth.

Great is the Lord in whom we have the victory.
He aids as against the enemy.
We fall down on our knees;

and Lord we want to lift your name on high,
and Lord we want to thank you for the work you've done in our lives,
and Lord we trust in your unfailing love
for you alone are God eternal
throughout earth and heaven above.


I used to like this one, good tune, reasonable words for a subjective (rather than theological) spirituality, apart from:

"He aids us against the enemy"

which I dislike.

Pt

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All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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ptarmigan
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# 138

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quote:
Originally posted by Kate Taylor:
Something that's been missed on these threads so far as I can see... what about names of chorus composers?? e.g. Mark Altrogge? Debbye Graafsma??? are these anagrams? Randy Speirs? am I the only one standing in church thinking "no way"?!

A classic in this sense must be "We give you glory" by Randy Scruggs, Jessy Dixon and John W. Thompson. Sounds like the names of a bluegrass abnd to me!

For any intreested the words go:

Lord of Lords, King of Kins,
Maker of heaven and earth and all good things,
We give You glory.
Lord Jehovah, Son of man,
Precious prince of peace, the great I Am,
We give you glory.
Glory to God, Glory to God, Glory to God,
Almighty in the hi - i - i - i - ighest.

etc


Another awful offering from the late 1980s is hard to convey in text as the tune is so punky, but hre goes:

God
hsntgvnus
a spirit of fear
btvluv
power
and a sound mind

God
hsntgvnus
a spirit of fear
btvluv
power
and a sound mind

Love for one another
Power to overcome
Overcome the enemy
Defeating him with a sound mind.

Repeat ad nauseam
(Actually once is already nauseam; I mean repeat beyond nausea).


Translation:
hsntgvnus = "has not given us" but sung as a single syllable
btvluv = "but of love", also sung as one syllable.

This masterpiece is copyright to Carl Laurens.

Note the song is more concenrned with the enemy and with our power than with God. Anyone who has heard the tune will quickly realise that the idea of a "sound mind" must be ironic.

There was also an awful pogo-type dance to this which doesn't bear even thinking about.

Pt

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All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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ptarmigan
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# 138

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More from me folks if you don't mind. I've found my old music book from my guitar days.

In heavenly armour we'll enter the land.
The battle belongs to the lord.
No weapon that's fashioned against us will stand.
The battle belongs to the Lord.
We'll sing glory, honour, power and strength to the Lord.
We'll sing glory, honour, power and strength to the Lord.

and 2 more verses in similar vein.


UK readers may remmeber a TV ad for a chocolate bar with raisins in which had an appalling ditty "It's amazing what raisins can do".

Well, believe it or not, (and I must apologize in advance to Dyfrig who seems to suffer more than most at these examples), we used to sing:

It's amazing what praising can do.
It's amazing what praising can do.
Join in and you'll see what it's baan and done for me.
It's amazing what praising can do.


Another theological masterpiece:

Let us praise his name with dancing,
and with the tambourine.
Let us praise his name with dancing,
make a joyful noise and sing.
Dance, dance, dance before the king.
Dance, dance, celebrate and sing.

Let us celebrate with dancing,
the King has set us free.
Let us celebrate with dancing,
rejoice in the victory.
Dance, dance, dance before the king.
Dance, dance, celebrate and sing.

We were of course all expected to bop during this, however English they may be. (I regard dancing as more natural for peoples of the hotter meditteranean countries. Only Morris dancing is at all normal for an Englishman). the leaders were of course largely exempt from this expectation but when necessary did a token evangelical shuffle, which consists of shifting the weight slightly from one foot to the other in a vaguely rhythmical fashion. I once tried to point out that the only dancing in the New Testamant led to the beheading of John the Baptist, but I'm afraid they weren't open to rational debate.

(Okay, maybe I had a hang up, but this wasn't the right form of therapy).

Pt

Pt

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All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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ptarmigan
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# 138

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Terrible as an army with banners,
we are the church of Christ.
Making known to principalities and powers
mysteries that have been hidden in God.
We declare God's manifold wisdom,
bringing to light the purpose of God.
Marching on the body of Christ,
treading down the enemy under our feet.

(Dave Fellingham)


We are in God's army.
We are in the army of the Lord.
yeah yeah yeah
We are in God's army.
Glory glory glory, the glory company.

The enemy's attacking, convinced he's gaining ground.
But the only voise that he can hear is the one he shouts around;
but we're not fooled by his lies, we know that he is wrong
we may be weak as soldiers but as an army we are strong.

We are in God's army ...

The enemy's regrouping as he tries another plan,
He can't pick off an army but he can pick out a man.
So we'll stay close together and we'll sing this battle song,
We may be weak as soldiers but as an army we are strong.

We are in God's army ...

The enemy's ralising that his future's looking poor.
Though he loves single combat, he's already lost the war.
United, not divided, together we belong,
we may be weak as soldiers but as an arnmy we are strong.

(Ian Smale)


When enemies come in by one way,
they'll flee from you by seven.
When you obey the Lord my friend,
He will open the heavens
and pour out

Showers of blessing
when you obey the Lord,
yes you'll have showers of blessing
when you obey the Lord

We need not live in poverty
prosperity will come in abundance.
Obedience destroys mediocrity.
all of the saints come and join us.
He's raining

Showers of blessing ...

You will be blessed in the city
You will be blessed in the country
The Lord will call you by His name
All of the people will see,
He's bringing

Showers of blessing ...

(Wayne Drain - can that be a real name?)

Note the triumphalistic and adversarial tone, and the tendency to "prosperity gospel" in the words.

P.S. We used to sing some wonderful, experientally based songs during that time too.

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All shall be well. And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. (Julian of Norwich)


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by Esmeralda:
'I sing a song of the saints of God'

Aw! I love that song!
And one was a soldier and one was a priest and one was slain by a fierce wild beast...


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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

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tomb
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# 174

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And one was a soldier
And one was a beast
And one was slain
By a fierce wild priest...

Oh. Sorry. Spasm of infantilism there.

As a child, my slyxdexia caused me to mis-read "There's a wideness in God's mercy" as "There's a wildness in God's mercy." Although my wife and I have quarreled over that, I persist in singing it that way, because I think my theology of the hymn is every bit as good as hers.

And finally,

Classrooms and labs
Loud boiling test-tubes
Sing to the Loooooooooord a new song!

On the rare occasions that we're singing this together and not me playing it, I love to make little sotto voce {plop} {gurgle gurgle glonk-glonk-glonk} noises, as sort of an onomatopoeic obbligato. Bothers the hell out of her, and it's always good for at least one jab in the ribs.

And playing it on the organ is one of the few times I've ever wished for a zymbelstern.


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da_musicman
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# 1018

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quote:
Terrible as an army with banners,

I was going to ask whats so terrifying about banners but thinking about it I've seen some horrific ones in my time.Best has to be the Ali G inspired one at our church telling children that God is wit them. Have actually had kids asking if its meant to be Ali G like.

Anyone read Adrian Plass book with Banner ripping seminars? Oh I'd be there.(on my more evil days)


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
Spasm of infantilism there. ...
... "There's a wildness in God's mercy." ...
[i]Loud boiling test-tubes

(1) Trying in vain to imagine tomb as an infantilist.

(2) Not like a tame Lion!

(3) oh I HATE that song! One of the sillier ones...

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


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BigEd
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# 1001

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I think the worst is the way we sing the psalms at church...there always sung the same way ...they fit an entire line on a psalm in one measure of music.

LOL.....King David must be rolling over in his grave...LOL

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"and now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 corinthians 13:13


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Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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ChastMastr, waving usually happens during "jazzy" little numbers in some churches and evangelical get-togethers in Sydney. I have always felt uncomfortable waving or even clapping, but to each their own.

A song: "Thy Word", which to me contained an iffy last line for one of the verses:

Jesus be my guide, and hold me to your side
And I will love you to the end

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet...


I didn't like this business about do this for me Jesus, then I'll love you...at least that is how I read it. And the "end" was never just "end", it was a strained...

"eeeeeeee-nnnnnnnn-d"
(going up and down in pitch)

Argh!


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Amos

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# 44

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tomb--I forgot my hymnal when I packed for my holiday; please, could you be a dear and post the last verse of the Lesbia Scott; you know, the one where you meet them at tea? I love it too. In good old-fashioned ECUSA churches it is always sung, along with Sine Nomine, on All Saints' Day.
Also from the 1982 ECUSA hymnal is that gloomy gem from Walker Percy's depressive uncle--the one that begins "They cast their nets in Galilee/Just off the hills of brown/Such happy, peaceful fisherfolk/Before the Lord came down. It then goes on to describe what happened to them: "Peter, who hauled the teeming net/Head down was crucified." (Rhymes with a reference to John, who "homeless on Patmos died").
BTW, my irreverent offspring has always doubled up at all references to "thrones".
And aren't there some loudly euphonious pistons, along with the test-tubes, singing the Lord a new song?

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At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

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DMcV
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# 545

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Ah, Lesbia Scott. That name has jumped out at me (or was it pushed?) from the Baptist/Church of Scotland hymn books on occasion...

In similar vein to the 'you can meet them at tea..' him, there is the one about missionaries with the line 'Some work in sultry forests/Where apes swing to and fro...' which always made me smile for some reason.

Esme - thanks for the words of that one. Can't say I have much affection for it - never heard such a version, but I'm sure there must be recordings of it sung by some Christian Barry Manilow with syrupy piano fills and glutinous orchestral backing...

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You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


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DMcV
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# 545

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In line 4 of the above 'him' should of course read 'hymn'.

The perils of typing to your own dictation.

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You can have whatever you want/But are you disciplined enough to be free?


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tomb
Shipmate
# 174

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Here, Amos, for your edification, is the last verse of "I sing a song of the saints of God"

I sing a song of the Saints of God
Patient and brave and true
Who toiled and fought and lived and died
For the Lord they loved and knew:

You can meet them in schools
or in trains
or at sea
in church
or in lanes
or in shops
or at tea. {nice big pause here so people can warble around on the pitch}

For the Saints of God are just folk like me
And I mean to be one, too.


+++


I, too, program that on All Saints along w/ Sine Nomine. Some things you just can't improve on.

I didn't know that William Alexander Percy was Walker Percy's uncle. Walker is one of my favorite writers. Learn sumpin' new every day.

And in "Earth and All Stars" no pistons, I'm afraid (that would be just too much fun), but there are "Engines and steel, loud pounding hammers." That's probably what you were thinking of.

[ 10 August 2001: Message edited by: tomb ]


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ChastMastr
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# 716

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Re Saints'o'God, I won't post it here, but rather you can look at it with an awful background which makes it hard to read here or with lots of other stuff, plus music, here.

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
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# 716

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Possible Additions To The Earth And All Stars song:

    Loud squealing hamsters
    Loud gnawing termites
    Loud honking autos
    Loud creaking floorboards
    Loud beeping cell-phones
    Loud shrieking babies
    Loud throbbing heartbeats
    Loud sizzling bacon
    Loud protest marches
    Loud humming PCs
    Loud tabloid headlines
    Loud tie-dye t-shirts
Etc.

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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity

Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged



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