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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Homosexuality
shawn
Apprentice
# 2111

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Just kidding.

[ 10. March 2003, 01:34: Message edited by: Erin ]

--------------------
I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it. (Cage)

Posts: 18 | From: nuevo mejico, usa | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Steve_R
Shipmate
# 61

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The problem is, that it is so tempting to get embroiled in such a thread. But this time I won't

--------------------
Love and Kisses, Steve_R

Posts: 990 | From: East Sussex | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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As this is Heaven, thought it must be a thread either about the good things about homosexuality or jokes about it.

How about running it as a competition between three teams, the aim is that Team A have to keep the thread in Heaven, Team B have to get it transeferred to Purgatory and Team C to Hell?

--------------------
i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7

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I'm in team A.

That Graham Norton's brilliant, isn't he?

--------------------
Narcissism.


Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Tim V
Shipmate
# 830

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I'm in team B.

Actually, I prefer Ricky Gervaise.

Does anyone (ANYONE) have the guts to be on team C?

--------------------
Scots steel tempered wi' Irish fire.
Is the weapon that I desire.


Posts: 212 | From: The crow's nest | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17

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I'm team B!

Ah, but I think you'll find that he isn't mentioned by name in the bible. I think we must embrace this truth.

clare


Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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I should warn all members of team B that we already have an excellent thread in Purgatory.

Alan

--------------------
All I want for Christmas is EU


Posts: 32197 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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Methinks that the good Doctor has just declared himself in Team C, Hellwards bound.

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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OK, I'll be Team C

quote:
Originally posted by Wood:
I'm in team A.

That Graham Norton's brilliant, isn't he?


Well you would say that wouldn't you? That's exactly the sort of stuff I'd expect from a shandy drinking lightweight with a Britney Spears obsession



--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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I'll be in Team C. The last thing we need is yet more of this stuff. It's BORING. And I don't like Graham Norton. Why can't we have a smiley with a spiky tail and little horns on?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Well I'm on team C and I think it's disgusting that this thread should be here and I can't be bothered to read all the 6 pages of the one in Purgatory so I think we should have a space in Hell where we can be short, snappy, and as rude as we like without bothering to read anyone else's thoughts on the subject.

--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.

Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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I'm on Team A, I think there's milage in a horror Story Relay for...

The Thread That Wouldn't Die.

Deep in the bowels of the Ship, something stirred. It uncoiled its fetid tendrils and sniffed the air... ah, its time was again coming, they thought they could ignore it, kill it, but no... Slowly it lifted its terrible head as it detected the smell of its food... ah, ignorance, so delicious, it could feel life returning to its limbs... It blinked...

--------------------
"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17

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(regrouping team b)

Ah, but that's the point, Joan. We tend to resort to myths rather than facing the historical evidence. Our faith is founded on the person of Jesus, whom we seek to draw close to through our own experience and the truths contained in the biblical record. And, as I think you'll find if you read the gospels (I would say instead of spending all your time with these tedious horror writings, but that would be a free point for team C), that no-where does Matthew, Mark, Luke or John mention Grahem Norton.


Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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(Team B)

quote:
Originally posted by clare:
( no-where does Matthew, Mark, Luke or John mention Grahem Norton.

That's got nothing to do with it because Graham Norton is an idiot, just like everyone else posting on this thread. (except me)



--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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Oops - that should have read "Team C", but I'm not going to apologise for that as this thread is going to Hell

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing

Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Kerry
Shipmate
# 202

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I think that what we are confusing here is the graham norton of the evangelical tradition (who is a loud and rather outspoken LIVING bloke who tells us uncomfortable but true things we'd rather not hear), the graham norton of the orthodox tradition (who is a mystically inclined figure sitting around on mountain tops cracking jokes with Elijah - a bit vague but very, very PROFOUND and REAL), and the graham norton of the liberals (who, well, it depends what kind of graham norton you want to talk about, and in what context you're hoping to MEET graham norton...).
Does that make everything clear?
I'm for Team B.

Kerry

--------------------
I want a cool signature too....


Posts: 150 | From: Sheffield | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Graham Norton hasn't posted on this thread. Not that I would read anything he posted anyway because he's BORING and so is everyone else on this thread except Team C.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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Team A ;

So Graham Norton is an anagram for "camper than a field full of tents".

anymore anagrams ?

P

--------------------
It is better to be Kind than right.


Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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How about a Team D who could try to get it moved to Kerygmania, where we could discuss Bible passages?


Does that comment mean I am on Team C?

Or that I am just confused?

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]


Posts: 7758 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17

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Dear Sharkshooter.

Nice try, but no cigar. I shall have to set up a (temporary) team E, to address this proposal which certainly belongs in the Styx.

Kerymania threads need to start with a bible passage, so i'm afraid you have well and truely missed your opportunity. May I suggest you join the wonderful contenders doing an absolutely fabulous job as team B! Your passages might come in useful

I shall now retreat from inscruitable objectivity, and disband team E.

clare


Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Paul W.

Shipmate
# 1450

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I would like to contend that "Graham Norton" is in fact an Urban Myth, and therefore this thread should be moved to the UM board for further discussion on alledged sightings of this mysterious figure.

(Team F)

Paul W


Posts: 2835 | From: Leeds, UK | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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I would like to point out that Graham Norton is in fact a Mystery Worshipper with a monstrous predelection for tat, so I invoke Team G to assemble at a suitable clerical costumers...

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"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Firenze

Ordinary decent pagan
# 619

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Team Z: Dedicated to the proposition that Jules and Sandy were far funnier.

-------------------------------------------

"After the storm I suppose you dragged yourselves up on deck"

"Ooo no, we dressed quite casual"


Posts: 17256 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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Firenze

On behalf of Team C I must tell you to READ THE RULES

There isn't a board for Jules and Sandy so deal with it. If you can't understand simple instructions then don't bother

[UBB Code edited]

[ 25 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
strathclydezero

# 180

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What about forfeits for the hosts of the boards that the thread gets moved to?

Conversation in the cafe has suggested:

MW hosts could lead a service which was being MW'ed (individually) - HT a welsh presby church, SS in high, non catholic anglican and bb in a la Sarum.

as for purg hosts
AC would have to write about the lizard men, and how they were really the royal family.
Laura could give a detailed list of the arguments for and against homosexuality.
Karl could write of his conversion to evangelical christianity, and how the earth was made, inc fossils, in 6 days.
Suggestions for Mousethief welcome .

Oh boy - no way I'm typing those suggestions for admin!

--------------------
All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov


Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Good grief what a stupid discussion. Instead we should be talking about ways to torture people who run bicycles off the road while displaying their bigotry/ pushing their sexuality in someone else's face (delete as appropriate)


team C

--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.


Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Atticus
Shipmate
# 2212

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---------------------SPIKE
Look, I've never even seen Buffy the Vampire Slayer, OK?
----------------------
You don't know what you're missing, bud. I don't care which way you swing, there's fun filled high kicks for everyone there.
I'm on team A, though I think we should come as close to letting team C win as possible.

Ticklemehomer(the rude alter-ego to Atticus)


Posts: 321 | From: off the deep end | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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I am in Team F or g, or something.

I think we should discuss ideas for a service based on the theme of same sex relationships, how we would present it, who can do the powerpoint presentaions? who can bring the candles. How will we get everyone involved and can we use the room abouve the pub?

Neil


Posts: 6006 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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quote:
Originally posted by Pyx_e:
Team A ;

So Graham Norton is an anagram for "camper than a field full of tents".

anymore anagrams ?

P


Homosexuality=Oh, a xylem is out

Team A: Success through Botany

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Qestia

Marshwiggle
# 717

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And I'll belatedly start Team 0, which, by not participating in this thread, is actively working to get it moved to The Archive post haste.

--------------------
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.

Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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Clare said:

quote:
May I suggest you join the wonderful contenders doing an absolutely fabulous job as team B! Your passages might come in useful

Are you saying their passages are not useful at the moment? *sigh* Have you even read the 10 commandments, you ***********?

--------------------
i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
clare
Contributing Editor
# 17

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Arrity, I see that you are declaring your colours as a team C supporter. Fear not, Pugatory will have us yet.

I personally think that despite and including all your experiences, be they of homosexuality, threads, candles, anagrams or the mystery of worship that dare not speak its name, that we are all part of the wider whole that we strive towards in the unity of the spirit. Indeed, as Jesus himself commanded, be a fruit and do not be lopped.

Are we not in danger of undue lopping, and is this not indicative of wider issues which the churches have to face in this changing society we call the twenty-first century?

Yours thoughtfully,

clare

p.s. I think Rowan Williams can prune the lops the best myself, though i suspect this may prove over vigourous for Tony Blair!


Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Will teams A, B, and D-Z just shove off and let the rest of us get on with being hellish in peace or whatever it is we do. It's our thread and we want it back.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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As a supporter of Team A I should like to share with you a poem I have written: 'Ode to my Sexuality', this I am performing while engaging in liturgical dance in a dark room lit with strange coloured lights.

*I choose to start the poem now.*

As it's a dynamic art form you'll have to take it on spec when I say it is beautiful, moving and poignant.


Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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LITURGICAL DANCE????? What the hell has that tree hugging hippy stuff have to do with anything of relevance? The idiotic heretics who dreamt that up should be excommunicated.

So says Team C



--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Originally posted by Spike:

quote:
There isn't a board for Jules and Sandy so deal with it. If you can't understand simple instructions then don't bother

That's uncanny. Has anyone ever seen Spike and Erin in the same room at the same time?

Team B by the way. Does Graham Norton exist when nobody's watching? And what are the implications of this for a post-modern calvinist theology which integrates the insights of pelagian neo-orthodoxy, with particular reference to the liturgical revision pioneered by Vatican II?

--------------------
How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton


Posts: 9706 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Who cares. I'm having a lousy day, you should too. Now behave and start getting real, or Spike will eat you.

And you know what you can do with Graham Norton.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Erin
Meaner than Godzilla
# 2

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quote:
Originally posted by Yaffle:
That's uncanny. Has anyone ever seen Spike and Erin in the same room at the same time?

This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.

--------------------
Commandment number one: shut the hell up.


Posts: 17140 | From: 330 miles north of paradise | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged
strathclydezero

# 180

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Is that Erin declaring herself in team D?

--------------------
All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov

Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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Rules for Team A's new Game Thread:

Whoever mentions the H-Word in a post has to drink. If the poster doesn't mention the H-Word, he makes someone else drink...

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Atticus
Shipmate
# 2212

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BELISARIUS:
Is the H-word hell or homosexuality?
Either way here it goes:
"Bartender five shots please.
Hell/Homosexuality
Hell/Homosexuality
Hell/Homosexuality
Hell/Homosexuality
Hell/Homosexuality(excuse me) Another bartender
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality one more
What are lou yooking at!??!
Hell/Hicomosexuality
Hell/Homosexuality
Hic-hell/Homosessalty
Hello homosexuals
hell urp sexu
Wad de hell, just give me the bottle bartender...
[singing] Homohell, homohell, homohellomoheloomo
[under the counter]"

Posts: 321 | From: off the deep end | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Atticus
Shipmate
# 2212

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"I'm drot as nunk as some theokle pink I am..."
[back to dazed stupor]

Posts: 321 | From: off the deep end | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Atticus:
Hell/Homosexuality(excuse me) Another bartender
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality another
Hell/Homosexuality one more
What are lou yooking at!??!

How many bartenders have you had? And which team do you bat for (as it were)?

(Note to self: I think the C team may have a possible recruit.)


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Late Quartet

Irredeemably speciesist?
# 1207

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Definitely in team A...

...what we need to do next is play a game called Homesexuality poetry

so the first poet takes the first letter of Homosexuality to start the poem thus

Happiness

the next poet takes

o


and so on

--------------------
Late Quartet is cycling closer to Route 6 than Route 66 these days.


Posts: 897 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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Eh, too random. An Acrostic per poster would be more effective:

Happiness
Or
Maybe
Oppressed
Sustenance
Enduring
Xenophobia
Until
A
Liberal
Institution
Tokenizes
You

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by Late Quartet:
Definitely in team A...

...what we need to do next is play a game called Homesexuality poetry

so the first poet takes the first letter of Homosexuality to start the poem thus

Happiness

the next poet takes

o


and so on


OK, As I'm in Team C I'm going to say

Orifice

So there

[UBB Code reluctantly edited--Why make Team C look better?]

[ 25 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Late Quartet

Irredeemably speciesist?
# 1207

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Ah but Spike, as all in Team A will ensure, the rules keep changing ... for the better ... so acrostics it is, for the time being (heavenly ones of course--not throwing down a gauntlet or anything)

Happiness
only
makes
others
sense
ecstatic
xenophilia
unless
all
likely
interests
throng
Yorkshire-wards

--------------------
Late Quartet is cycling closer to Route 6 than Route 66 these days.


Posts: 897 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25

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quote:
Originally posted by The Coot:
As a supporter of Team A I should like to share with you a poem I have written: 'Ode to my Sexuality', this I am performing while engaging in liturgical dance in a dark room lit with strange coloured lights.

*I choose to start the poem now.*

As it's a dynamic art form you'll have to take it on spec when I say it is beautiful, moving and poignant.


splendid, you are trying to move it Small Fire as well then!

Neil


Posts: 6006 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
kingsfold

Shipmate
# 1726

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quote:
Originally posted by Late Quartet
all
likely
interests
throng
Yorkshire-wards

So are we saying Yorkshire is hell? Can oyu justify that? (team C)

--------------------
I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done


Posts: 4455 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Late Quartet:
Ah but Spike, as all in Team A will ensure, the rules keep changing ... for the better ... so acrostics it is, for the time being (heavenly ones of course--not throwing down a gauntlet or anything)

Trust the happy-clappy-planet-christian-types to change the rules. Well as long as they're happy

Viki

(Team C btw)

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged



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