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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Homosexuality
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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Erin: This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.

strathclydezero: Is that Erin declaring herself in team?

No, just God .

--------------------
"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
Erin: This is my beloved son, in whom I am well pleased.

strathclydezero: Is that Erin declaring herself in team?

No, just God .


Well that was an obvious comment Joan. Perhaps you should save your breath for cooling your porridge?

Viki

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Late Quartet

Irredeemably speciesist?
# 1207

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quote:
Originally posted by kingsfold:
So are we saying Yorkshire is hell? Can oyu justify that? (team C)


peace, shalom and have you ever wondered where all the metal id numbers on lamp-posts come from [that was my random tangent to keep us heaven-bound]!

As to me being accused of xenophilia unless all throng Yorkshire-wards ... the reason is in the detail that I am in Yorkshire ... which makes me think of a game ... its called County Crescent,

I'll naturally be going from

Yorkshire to Northumbria

though that's obvious of course [superior look, smug grin ... fear of a dark shadow coming from the east ... gulp! ... is it a black-rider or some hostly figure ruling such games out of heaven ... help!!!]

--------------------
Late Quartet is cycling closer to Route 6 than Route 66 these days.


Posts: 897 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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We haven't had a decent row in Hell in ages, and I had a rotten day. Woke up feeling vaguely homicidal, but NO ONE gave me an excuse to eviscerate them today. And no one came up with forfeits for hellhosts if this whole thing goes south, so to speak. Very remiss of somebody.

quote:
Originally posted by Yaffle:
Does Graham Norton exist when nobody's watching? And what are the implications of this for a post-modern calvinist theology which integrates the insights of pelagian neo-orthodoxy, with particular reference to the liturgical revision pioneered by Vatican II?

Who cares? The postmodernists are just making it up as they go along; any good Episcopalian in the US can tell you that they'll drive the church into the ground before they figure out that the butts their heads are up are not merely linguistic constructs. Calvinism cannot be rehabilitated, pace the earnest if rather pale postings in Purgatory. Pelagianism is patently false, and really not even a very interesting heresy; anyone who doesn't believe in original sin and can't see the world for the sorry, stinking, fallen place it is has been smoking way too much cheap weed. "Neo-orthodoxy" is practically a contradiction in terms, and I'm sure the hidebound hands of our Orthodox brothers and sisters will crush it as unworthy. As for the liturgical revisions of Vatican II, see the postmodernists.

And who the heck is Graham Norton anyway, and why on earth do You Brits think We Yanks are gonna catch all your references when OUR cultural imperialism has been so much more successful than yours in recent years?

I will say one thing for this thread, though: it's the best one on homosexuality I've ever seen.

Need I say it? TEAM C


Posts: 24430 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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I've gathered Team A together for a group hug and then we're going to ascribe queer stereotypes to all the smilies. After that we will all relate our first homosexual or near-miss homosexual encounter in the manner of the 'Which was the first album you bought' thread (which we will do by private message since this is heaven after all).
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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I fear I must jump out of the drawer and declare myself for Team A.

I also must come clean and declare that it was I who came up with the forfeits for some of the hosts.

clare's was that she had to host a round of Mornington Cresent.

We were only half way through the list of hosts when someone (may he be forever blessed) ran over here and divulged the forfeit system. I thought it wisest not to create any more forfeits. But I have seen the error of my ways, and I humbly beg forgiveness for thinking up disagreable tasks for my fellow hosts.

bb - the contrite ( and who is worriting that forfeit is not spelt correctly)

[I have just run it through a spell-checker, and it looks fine.]


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Poetry and group hugs?? You lot are clearly a load of people of alternative sexuality. You probably also like Doris Day musicals as well as Graham Norton (for the benefit of the US people he is a camp comedian who is thunderingly unfunny).

And I bet you all eat quiche.

Up the C team.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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Graham Norton lives on Mornington Cres ............

P

the A team

--------------------
It is better to be Kind than right.


Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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Team H would like to organise a Shipmeet at a recording of the Graham Norton programme (we could call in a Ship's outing ). So would one of the host kindly move this thread to its proper place in All Saints.


Many thanks.

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!


Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nunc Dimittis
Seamstress of Sound
# 848

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Get your facts straight. Since when has Graham Norton been a US comedian? (Although I have to confess he has made front page news in every Diocesan newspaper in the Anglican Communion.

Graham Norton is the Bishop of South Yarrawarrawee. His sexual deviance has been sprouted around the world after he raved naked with a blue light on the front lawn of his episcopal palace. It was revealed by private sources that this behaviour was triggered by excessive stress levels. The Bishop, it was told, was secretly seeing most of the members of his diocese - and apparently had fathered, unbeknowns to any of his partners, several entire families. He apparently "married" several men, who were convinced he was interested in them. Stephen* claims to have had a seamy relationship with the Bishop, which involved nuns and confessionals.

"Oh, I never even knew he was a bishop! Although I wondered where he obtained all those FABulous stimulants and sex toys. Well, fancy that!"

This feeling is mutual throughout most of Bishop Norton's diocese. His actions have prompted the more evangelical wing of his diocese to demand not only the bishop's resignation, but his deprivation of holy orders. Some have also suggested that the Bishop may require serious psychiatric handling before he make an appearance in public again. Moves are underway to investigate the disappearance of tat from several parishes (originally banned for "lack of the appropriate Faculty"), apparently connected with the Bishop's activities.

*All names have been changed to protect individuals' privacy.

___________

Definitely TEAM C. This thread belongs in HELL!!!!

I DEFY anyone to tell me Bishop Norton is not crazy!


Posts: 9513 | From: Delta Quadrant | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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Nunc, so angry ! I fear that if you were ever to meet Bishop Norton you may beat him

P

having a Team C moment

--------------------
It is better to be Kind than right.


Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
strathclydezero

# 180

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Chapelhead - thank you! - team H for me

We could get our hosts to perform their forfeits on the 'sooooo Graham Norton show'

--------------------
All religions will pass, but this will remain:
simply sitting in a chair and looking in the distance.
V V Rozanov


Posts: 3276 | From: The Near East | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Nunc_Dimittis:
Get your facts straight. Since when has Graham Norton been a US comedian?

Get your own facts straight. Who the **** ever said he was? Deal with it. Get a life. Don't you have anything better to do? And so on.

Team C.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716

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Teams A, B, and C.

On a thread dealing with homosexuality.

This is uncanny.

David
Kind of B-A Side B but recently redefined as a B-ish Side C depending on definitions of Side B; definitely Side E though
(And involved on B-A)

--------------------
My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity


Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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I think team C is winning! And I've run out of heavenly ideas to keep us here. Oh woe. Ooooh. I wonder how many expressions of sadness we can think up...
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Isegrim
Shipmate
# 1256

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I challenge everyone to continue posting this thred without using the smilie for the next 20 posts.

I bet you can't !


Posts: 181 | From: Chichester, West Sussex | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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*returns group hug*

Oh my dear sarky, that was an obvious statement, but

tat

is never ob
vi
ous

especially when
(the rain-time shining)

Fiddletats come out to

play in Just
Spring
(green for correctness)

oops, have I
g
o
n
e
and turned this

(always and everywhen)
MW?

--------------------
"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."


Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ham'n'Eggs

Ship's Pig
# 629

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Team G are on a roll!

--------------------
"...the heresies that men do leave / Are hated most of those they did deceive" - Will S


Posts: 3103 | From: Genghis Khan's sleep depot | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Ham 'n' Eggs:
Team G are on a roll!

Is that a ham'n'eggs roll?


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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Bloody men are like bloody busses -
Which is why it's good we don't need them.

--------------------
"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."

Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

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quote:
Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf:
MW?

Honey, don't you even think that! MW has quite enough tat queens already.

This thread is obviously suited to Heaven. Just look how many posts it has, in such a short space of time. Heaven is its natural home.

Quite a few times in the reading of this thread I have had a major guffaw, twice I have even slapped my desk. I keep getting strange looks from my husband, and he is quite forgiving about SoF-frivolities.

This is just Heavenly.

bb


Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Stephen
Shipmate
# 40

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quote:
Originally posted by babybear:

I also must come clean and declare that it was I who came up with the forfeits for some of the hosts.

clare's was that she had to host a round of Mornington Cresent.


Oh,goody.....

--------------------
Best Wishes
Stephen

'Be still,then, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the nations and I will be exalted in the earth' Ps46 v10


Posts: 3942 | From: Alto C Clef Country | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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quote:
Originally posted by Nunc_Dimittis:
Definitely TEAM C. This thread belongs in HELL!!!!

I DEFY anyone to tell me Bishop Norton is not crazy!


I'll put you down as a "maybe" for the outing to Bishop Norton's television programme, then.

Now, who else?

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!


Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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*sigh*

If you took the trouble to read this friggin' thread, you would see it has nothing to do with some dumb-ass Australian bishop.

BTW, if anyone asks, a) I don't mean any bishop in particular b) can't you friggin' dumb-asses take a joke???????????

--------------------
i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012

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RuthW why do you need a reason to eviscarate anyone? You're a hellhost, so use your powers! If you need some practice the stupid frigging idiots who think Heaven's the place to be should do nicely!

With all this group hugging, it's obvious Team A have spent worrying amounts of time in group therapy - possibly for alcohol-related problems?

And as for the Joan thing...

All I can say is RuthW, polish your claws, and go maul someone. Tomb'll show you how, if you need a reminder..

Viki

(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)

--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”


Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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quote:
(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)

No, as it is deemed to be a parody of real flaming, therefore belongs in Heaven.

Unless Team C can prove otherwise..........

[UBB Code edited]

[ 27 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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Of Man's First venture to the Fruit
Of that Forbidden Love, whose silent Name
Brought Balance to the World, yet came in woe,
With loss of'Acceptance, till one greater Man
Restore us, and then gain the blissful Seat,
Sing Heav'nly Muse...

--------------------
"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."

Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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History
Of
Managing
Often
Satisfies
Enquiries;
Xeroxing
Usually
Avoids
Litigation
Involving
Troubled
Youth

Team A (though I don't care for Group Hugs)

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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Group hugs? You have to be joking. Group backstabbings more like.

C

--------------------
This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.


Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Arrietty

Ship's borrower
# 45

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I think Graham Norton should be the next Archbishop of Canterbury.

He is friendly towards gay clergy, has good links with the Roman Catholic church and in fact was a Roman Catholic priest for a time (albeit in a television programme, and would therefore know how to lead the country in a crisis.

I am sure he would be very good with young people too.
Possibly B now, unless I am being very sarcastic and satirical

--------------------
i-church

Online Mission and Ministry


Posts: 6634 | From: Coventry, UK | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by sarkycow:

(P.S. If people get flamed in a post, does that send the thread to Hell?)

Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.



--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by sarkycow:
RuthW why do you need a reason to eviscarate anyone? You're a hellhost, so use your powers! If you need some practice the stupid frigging idiots who think Heaven's the place to be should do nicely!

Well, I meant in real life. And in real life, it usually looks better in court if I have a reason for feeding someone their own bowels.

I do share your views about the frigging idiots who think discussion of homosexuality belongs in heaven. I betcha they all think they've got a handy solution to the problems in the Middle East, too. Something along the lines of "Let's all hold hands and sing!"


Posts: 24430 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Late Quartet

Irredeemably speciesist?
# 1207

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yes lets ... (Team A member getting smugger than ever).... lets hold hands and sing!!

What shall we sing people,

I know, lets discussed 'favourite peace and love songs ever' then have a knockout competition / vote thingy.

Someone else pick a song ...

--------------------
Late Quartet is cycling closer to Route 6 than Route 66 these days.


Posts: 897 | From: Sheffield | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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Well let's! Protest songs included. I'll start with the hoary old chestnut 'We Shall Overcome'.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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From The Drew Carey Show:

Misunderstanding Female Character: Are you gay?

Drew: Of course I'm not gay! Would I have this kind of [overweight] body if I were gay?


[Edited to avoid a coup for Team C]

[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32

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quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.



Er, Spike, Sarkycow's on your team.

As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.

--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll


Posts: 8079 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Isegrim
Shipmate
# 1256

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quote:
Isegrim (thats me) wrote:
I challenge everyone to continue posting this thred without using the smilie for the next 20 posts.

I bet you can't !


15 posts later...

quote:

Spike wrote:
[B]Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.[B]



Told you so!!!


Posts: 181 | From: Chichester, West Sussex | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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Yeah? Got a problem with that then?



--------------------
"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ja Ja Biggs
Apprentice
# 2241

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quote:
Originally posted by shawn:
Just kidding.

One would like to quote Freud but his theories on Homosexuality are not testicle.... (sorry) testable.


Posts: 1 | From: Taunton, Somerset, UK. | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
Er, Spike, Sarkycow's on your team.

As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.


Evidently you've missed the point. In Hell we are not obliged to be nice to each other. We co-exist in a state of mutual antipathy, only rarely agreeing on anything. Occasionally, we work together for our own individual benefit. In short, it's very like your average office.

Shove that up your jumper.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
As usual, Hell's faction will descend into a chaos requiring Administrative Intervention.

Well, now, that's the point, isn't it?!

If Team A would just SHUT UP WITH THAT AWFUL RACKET THEY CALL SINGING perhaps they'd have a chance to grab a clue!


Posts: 24430 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15

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I hereby announce the creation of Team D whose aim is to have this thread transferred to Kerygmania.

[clears throat]

This thread should be transferred to Kerygmania.

--------------------
"He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt


Posts: 6916 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by Carmel:
In Hell we are not obliged to be nice to each other. We co-exist in a state of mutual antipathy, only rarely agreeing on anything. Occasionally, we work together for our own individual benefit. In short, it's very like your average office.

Shove that up your jumper.


Well, you would say that though.

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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Joan the Outlaw-Dwarf

Ship's curiosity
# 1283

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A HOMOSEXUAL ther was, a man,
Y lovyere-lik and lusty, cleped "Ann".
He was as fressh as is the month of May,
And ne enow espyen Doris Day.
Upon his arm he baar a gay bracer
(Much liken of the younge Soho pacer),
And hose smal he war on his behind,
And t-shirt wit y-streached in this kind.
Full semely he minced in the strete,
And sayde "Oooo" to al the folk he mete.
And to the ilke sayth to maken hay:
He was a verray, parfit gentil gay.

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"There is a divine discontent which has always helped to better things."

Posts: 1123 | From: Floating in the blue | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
chukovsky

Ship's toddler
# 116

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this is great! Team C are having a fight!

scrap! scrap!

I'm so pleased (in a Hellish way) to be on Team C

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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.


Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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quote:
Originally posted by Isegrim:
Isegrim (thats me) wrote:

I challenge everyone to continue posting this thred without using the smilie for the next 20 posts.

I bet you can't !

15 posts later...


Spike wrote:

Sheesh. Yet another brain dead Team A type with no sense of humour who can't tell the difference between a joke and the real thing.

Told you so!!!


BAH HUMBUG !!!!!!

and by the way - is your signature to be taken as a sexual threat ???

(signing on for the C Team - faithfully yours)


[Tsk--Team A has clean up Team C's mess again.]

[ 28 January 2002: Message edited by: Belisarius ]

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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Well, you would say that though.

You're just jealous because I thought of it first.


Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Spike

Mostly Harmless
# 36

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quote:
Originally posted by bessie rosebride:
[QB

[Tsk--Team A has clean up Team C's mess again.]

[/QB]


Well if the sanctimonious do gooders that run this site gave us the ability to edit our own posts you wouldn't have to. It was so much better on the old boards.



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"May you get to heaven before the devil knows you're dead" - Irish blessing


Posts: 12846 | From: The Valley of Crocuses | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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Belisarius

On an ordinary day, I would thank you for tidying up my UBB Code, but since I am on a mission to send this thread to The Dogs (Hounds of Hell ) I must refrain.

I couldn't care less what my post looks like, and besides - it was not my fault #$@****&& - I was prohibited from posting with more than 8 of these FIRE ANT THINGS or whatever they're called and got
messed up deleting some.

But since this is still Heaven, I suppose you must keep everything correct and proper....

--------------------
They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Scarlet

Mellon Collie
# 1738

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quote:
Originally posted by Spike:
Well if the sanctimonious do gooders that run this site gave us the ability to edit our own posts you wouldn't have to. It was so much better on the old boards.


YES, and this too..

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They took from their surroundings what was needed... and made of it something more.
—dialogue from Primer


Posts: 4769 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged



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