My profile login | | Directory | Search | FAQs | Board home   Printer-friendly view   » Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Heaven: Reality Internet Presents SMILIE SISTER 2 (Page 3) Email this page to a friend or enemy.   Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  4  5    Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Reality Internet Presents SMILIE SISTER 2 Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 9: ACTION DAY Well, viewers, while there was no clear mandate for an ejectee, must leave us, having received two votes. And all haters of Young Love rejoice! So, a beaver lodge and artificial lake it is... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <at the compound...> <now totally revived after a lot of coffee and "some other stuff"> Top half! Top half! Woo-hoo!! Damn your callous attitude! Poor was worth ten of you! <to self> Here's the chance for a clever put-down. The audience will love this! <out loud> *cough* *cough* *cough* slut *cough* <SLAP!> WE DID NOTHING AN UNMARRIED COUPLE WOULD BE ASHAMED OF...Oh, why do I even bother?? <runs out sobbing> Let's get this over with...hmm, a beaver lodge and artificial lake. Why am I not surprised? -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <cheek still smarting> Well, don't expect much help from if she's going to be so touchy. We already did a building project. But what the hell--I feel GREAT! So let's get moving! After that, we'll build a hot tub! Woo-hoo! <runs out to start digging> <enter a beaver> beaver: I wish the rest of you had his attitude. Who are you?? beaver: Well, I mostly play Mr. Big on the Story Relay Thread, but I'm semi-retired now. So how about that lodge?--I'm not getting any younger... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       Yer well. Take a seat in this nice rocking chair and start gnawing these branches to a useful regular size. beaver: <gnawing> I see you've given up the Christian act. No. -Brother. I have earnestly repented of bearing false witness against my sister and am now about to express my contrition to her in person. <to self: This is it! This is it! I cement myself in the viewers' hearts!> <sobbing in sauna> <calling out> Sister, before God and my brothers and sisters I am heartily sorry. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? <sniffing> Well. I'm having difficulty getting massage oil onto the middle of my diameter. <to self: Yes! Yes! Nice guy with love interest! I can't fail!> Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Nightlamp Shipmate # 266 Posted                        Was a bit square for this game? -------------------- I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Stoo Mighty Pirate # 254 Posted                        Right. That's it. I'm not taking any more of this banal crap. I'm off. Buh bye! <runs through the garden, jumps up onto the chicken coop, climbs the ivy and bounds over the roof, never to be seen again...> Well, blow me! You know, we should've seen this coming. Wonder if they'll send in a replacement? -------------------- This space left blank Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       i was history until i got to the mote. what wiseacre let the piranha lose in there? beaver: why else do you think i'm gnawing wood on a rocking chair? (drifts off into a daydream/nightmare of her roomates playing frisbee with her beloved, lakeside) ..... ..... ................. .................... think of the catches would've made. beaver: hey you, wake up! you a part of this team or what? leeet's go! Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        Yeah-baby!! The hole's done! Now all I have to is line it with sand and add some water and plants. Look at me, I'm LAKE-Man! If I had taken the stuff he must be on now, I would have been able to jump over those piranhas. You should occupy yourself to get over disappointments. I might as well get all these branches together. Here, let me help you--it's the least I can do. <to self> Proceeding as planned... beaver: Be careful with that stuff--I'm going to have to summer here, remember... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <several hours later> beaver: That'll do--have to remember you're beginners. Well, there's my helicopter... So that's how he got in here. beaver: Catch you later. Feel free to use the lake. <exits> Gee, how generous, considering I MADE it! ***hole! You bet I'm going to use the **** out of it--Woo-hoo! <cannonballs into the lake> I wish was here to enjoy this. I'm sure he misses you too. <to self> Score points for Mr. Sensitive... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 10: VOTING DAY Well, viewers, things have picked up a bit. An attempted escape, mood swings, and Machiavellian intrigue. It will be tough to decide who must leave next. I'm starting to agree with you, dear-- should definitely be made to stay the longest. As always, though, it's up to the viewers to decide. Lets see those votes and task ideas! -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Dave P stoned # 2900 Posted                        has to go now. Since left there's no point to it, and that was getting boring. We should stop her sluttish ways before they start to corrupt poor innocent christian living . Get her/him out. -------------------- ne Holy Stone Posts: 736 | From: brum | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       while it can be entertaining to watch the meanies turn on each other when their prey is removed, i'll still vote off (with a free bottle of water to watch the next match of his local high school tennis team.) boring! what are the viewers all osborne's? of course not, dear. they're just all right-living Christians who don't want to encourage back biting behavior. perhaps you should take a lesson from their inclusive living style? oooh...i love it when you act so righteous...hey look nobody's in the sauna, how bout we put it through its paces? (chuckling angelically)...you know i don't like the heat, m'love, you go on without me. Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       I don't know. They're all a bit pathetic aren't they? I like 's cynicism and 's transparent attempts at worldliness. We need a girlie for the other smilies to fight over so should stay. They means the demographically undesirable must go. Thumbs down to Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       are and related?...i did mean to vote off (i can smell victory!) Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged Fudge Pictish free citizen # 425 Posted                          Get rid of , cos then might get his finger out and snog . She's acted like an angel, but I bet she isn't. Anyway, Paranoid needs to loosen up. Posts: 347 | From: Aberdeen | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 11: ACTION DAY It looks like must go, having amassed three votes. Our remaining smilies must plan and film a commercial announcement promoting SS2 and themselves. Money is no object, but they must provide the labor. -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        But first, let's check in where is drowning his sorrows with his former fraternity brothers. Let's go to the livecam-- WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Seems like you guys are having fun. We're just trying to cheer him up, man--I mean, what the **** was the audience thinking?? Yeah, he's in the back puking even worse than usual--the only decent smilie on the ******' show, man, I don't ******' believe it--yo, another round, man! -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        So you don't care for the other smilies? Do tell us your opinion. Like, give us a ******' break--you have a *****, an ***hole, and a...hey, is a ***** or an ***hole? Uh...who cares, they all SUCK! YEAH!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And now back to the compound... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       (camera slowly closes in from distance (a little shaky because beaver cannot walk and manage the video too well) and pans trio engaged in solitary activities by the now flourishing lakesdie flora and fauna shipped in for the film including exotic giant venus flytraps, a forest of teak, hundreds of orchids, a herd of giraffes, peacocks, the loch ness monster, and a special guest appearance by a famous collie.) beaver: (special engagement) on three...roll (thinks of momentarily. the slightest things....) yes, (plucking orchid and placing it behind her ear, barely avoiding the snapping flytrap next to it) it seems idyllic,(giraffes undualte by in background) doesn't it? a fabulous villa, manicured grounds, two men willing to fight to the death...(famous collie nudges 's hand and whimpers) (pokes head in from side) uh, i'm not willing to fight. and nobody mentioned death. (famous collie growls)(strange shadow flits across lake) beaver: CUT! okay wiseguy, you'll get your turn, back off. (whispers to ) have you noticed how she never tans, just stays that hideous red? i hope she doesn't have scarlet fever...and she never told me she liked dogs. do you want to slip off for a drink or something? (famous collie baring teeth, frothing at mouth.) what is it girl? Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       Famous collie: When you're on Smilie Sister, you can get rid of those blue , green and beaver-coloured days. Let's hear from smilies of the past: I was a- I was. I was something before I appeared on Sm- Smelly- Smeggy Cistern. I was a strumpet before I appeared on Smilie Sister. And guess what? I still am. I didn't need Smilie Sister to be the legend I already was. My rare droopy eyelid condition cleared up after I was on Smilie Sister. Smilie Sister. So bright you almost need sunglasses. Apply for Smilie Sister today. Scads of Smilies for everyone to snog! Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       Smilie Sister gives you a chance to educate the community about mental illness. The voyeur within the voyeur within the voyeur. Blah blah. Pseudo-intellectual arthouse dribble. Legitimate your desire to capture porn on film. -Click- Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        < in a group shot with famous collie, giraffes, and Loch Ness Monster> Smilie Sister...not just a show, but a way of life. beaver: And...cut! That was...a lot of stuff. I didn't approve of everything said, but the moral choice was to avoid censorship. I thought you were allergic to plants. Oh no! I forgot! <smacks orchid off ear and starts scratching furiously> My turn. <points video camera at self> Smilie Sister 2's final day is July 12--then we can go home. <switches camera off> Done. <hopefully to self> Uh oh...the Gen-Xers will love that low-budget apathy. What will I do?--I have to think... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        When in doubt, stick with the formulas... <and so> <slow ominous music, dark background> <fade in shot of > < voice over>What secret passions burn inside this smilie? <fade in shot of > < voice over>A smilie helplessly adrift in an arbitrary world--what unseen terrors await? <fade in shot of > < voice over> And me?--they just better not get in my way... Smilie. Sister. Two. -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 12: VOTING DAY Some very characteristic work here, I should say. The Loch Ness Monster looked good. Oh yes, definitely. Well, viewers, this is the Home Stretch--the decision on whom to vote for will probably be the most difficult yet. Here's hoping for a splendid turnout and some ideas for the FINAL task! -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       hmmm...should get the boot because of the awful hives she's breaking out in from exposure to plant material? it really becomes a question of voting for nationalist colors and or Christian colors and . i'll go Christian ...ba-bye (get that squint checked out! you'll ruin your eyes.) Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged Dave P stoned # 2900 Posted                        I'm gonna stick with ridding the show of Which would leave the irony of winning or the glory of 's plans coming to fruition. Really I just don't like -------------------- ne Holy Stone Posts: 736 | From: brum | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       just does not offer enough. And in today's economic rationalist climate, that's enough to get the thumbs down from The Coot. Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Sarkycow La belle Dame sans merci # 1012 Posted                        Oooh, it's exciting, one vote for each of the smilies! So I shall I vote for, to break the deadlock? Hmmm. Hmmmmmmm. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Ok, I'm voting off because she doesn't really do a lot! Viki -------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.” Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged Wobabylon Apprentice # 3013 Posted                       Hi there all, as my first post on this glorious ship I would vote off he is just too scheming and dull. It would be interesting to see how and cope left together! -------------------- The Difference Between you and me is I am right Posts: 4 | From: mars | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged Amorya Ship's tame galoot # 2652 Posted                        I'd like to vote off as well - it'll be interesting to see the fight between and for the final vote! Amorya Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged Siegfried Ship's ferret # 29 Posted                           I'd say give the boot. She's just not interesting anymore now that has gone. Sieg Posts: 5592 | From: Tallahassee, FL USA | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 13: ACTION DAY With four votes, must now leave. At least she'll be reunited with . We'll keep that drivel off-camera, thank you very much. As was predicted by a voter, the field of action has narrowed down to a smilie who is desperate to win and one who couldn't care less and wishes to avoid the limelight. Will Wish Fulfillment or Ironic Twist prevail? My personal preference has already been made clear, but nothing is certain in the world of Smilie Sister. The final task...must be decided by the Smilies themselves! Will that mess with their heads or what? [ 11 July 2002, 05:35: Message edited by: Belisarius ] -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Stoo Mighty Pirate # 254 Posted                        hmm... we have to decide the task ourselves. How post-modern. whatever. I know, why don't we make the task chosing a task in itself? I'm going to bed. There's an incessant whining noise in here. There is? Oh, if I've just completed the task by chosing the task of chosing a task, does that mean I win? Oh, for the love of God... Are you ignoring me? Take a *%&*ing stab in the dark. -------------------- This space left blank Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Quizmaster Quick quipper # 1435 Posted                           -------------------- The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions. OR========================================= The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions. Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       (who would have thought and were capable of perfecting cloning overnight, or of producing fully grown replicas of themselves? yes, we're all a bit taken aback, but there they are lined up for the swim contest and we should be hearing the "start" whistle any time now.) i wish i could get the water out of my ears...that test swim was murder. well my eyes are really sore from all that chlorine. i don't like diving, i'm not doing it. my bathing cap is too tight. just stop straying into my line, all of you! can i trust my own clones? Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        No, you can't... AAAAAGH!!!!! <wakes up> Oh, it was just a dream...wait a minute, THAT'S IT!!! We must act out every cliche ending possible! < rushes in> Oh, , I was so wrong about ! I was fooled by his city-slicker ways--I now know we're meant for each other! Can you ever forgive me? Of course, honey! <passionate clutch. Music swells...> [ 11 July 2002, 15:32: Message edited by: Belisarius ] -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <enter > Not so fast, ! The ice cubes were out long enough to melt--that proves you were the murderer! You'll never take me alive! <jumps out window...> [ 11 July 2002, 15:33: Message edited by: Belisarius ] -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <and tumbles into a rocket aimed at the Sun> I see you've fallen into my little trap, Mr. ... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <but then it starts raining> Our crops are saved!! Time for the big musical number... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        <clones re-enter> We only have a few more hours to go; We hope you all enjoyed the Smilie Sister Shoooow-- <meanwhile, stands at the seashore, staring at nothing...> -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Stoo Mighty Pirate # 254 Posted                        And as the sun sets over the ocean, & walk off hand in hand into the distance. Credits roll. -------------------- This space left blank Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        Followed by outtakes-- < jumps out of window, completely misses rocket and falls flat on his face> Pfft. Typical... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged blackbird Shipmate # 1387 Posted                       as they walk toward the sunset, (takes out spoons, starts playing the barber of seville) click click click clIIIck click (takes out jew's harp, starts playing moonlight sonata) boing boing twang boing boing twang when they are out of sight, a messenger arrives at the deserted villa with an important letter for both of them...shrugs and props the letters against the door. over the span of several hundreds of years, they turn to dust and blow away. Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged Quizmaster Quick quipper # 1435 Posted                           Hey, I watched the whole show from start to finish and then I -------------------- The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions. OR========================================= The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions. Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        We're running out of endings. I was fine just sitting around. Oh, all right... <stares into space> <tries to get comfortable in seat> <dozes off> <notices crack in ceiling> <still dozing> -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Belisarius Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights # 32 Posted                        DAY 14: VOTING DAY Well, that was sort of a Beckett-ish conclusion to the proceedings, wasn't it? To quote , "whatever." This is it, ladies and gentlemen--the winner of the second Smilie Sister competition will now be determined... -------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged John Donne Renaissance Man # 220 Posted                       showed stamina and a well-developed Protestant work ethic, together with Alec Guiness flexibility in prostituting himself to the fickle desires of the audience. I like that in a smilie. finally gets what he wants. Thumbs down, . [bloody 'ell! I lost track of the number of posts on the thread, didn't check it and missed out on the Action Day] Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Rev per Minute Shipmate # 69 Posted                          This is difficult. so much wants to win, he has redefined himself about twice a day in order to keep up with the audience. appears not to care, but is it all a front - is the Jade of Smilie Sister? (For non-watchers of Big Brother 3 - just don't ask) What the heck - I'll vote for to win, out of a sense of solidarity with paranoid androids everywhere. for the prize!! -------------------- "Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Quizmaster Quick quipper # 1435 Posted                           I vote for . The meek shall inherit the earth and I want a part of it. -------------------- The more questions I ask the more I ask fewer questions. OR========================================= The wise person does not know all the answers, but always asks the right questions. Posts: 3326 | From: Exeter, Devon | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged Stoo Mighty Pirate # 254 Posted                        to win! Go ! -------------------- This space left blank Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged Pages in this thread: 1  2  3  4  5    Printer-friendly view Go to: Select a board: Category: Ship's business -------------------- The Styx Category: Community discussion -------------------- Heaven Purgatory Hell All Saints Category: Special interest discussion -------------------- Ecclesiantics Kerygmania The Circus Dead Horses The Eighth Day Category: Ship's Locker -------------------- Glory Limbo Category: Things we did -------------------- Nativity Play Auctions The Laugh Judgment The Da Vinci Code Chapter & Worse Contact us | Ship of Fools | Privacy statement © Ship of Fools 2016 UBB.classicTM 6.5.0