Source: (consider it)
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Thread: AS: The adventures of Sven the Moose
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rosemary
Shipmate
# 100
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Posted
I'm glad to hear it Sven. Your long lost brother, Chris,(Chris Moose), in Cardiff is getting very worried about you.
-------------------- "It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness." Confucius
Posts: 743 | From: cardiff | Registered: May 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
I am shattered.Shattered, do you hear? Shattered. As I explained to my wife the other day, in spite of my recent travels, I will never "swim the Tiber" (i.e. convert to Roman Catholicism), because, if I did, I would be inevitably become guilty because of the Bad Choices that Sven is making. I hasten to emphasize, these are Sven's Bad Choices. I am Not Responsible. I did not make Sven run away. I did not force him to marry a bimbodoll. I wanted Sven to Experience God's Creation at eleven thousand feet (or twelve or thirteen or fourteen. At this altitude, who's counting?). It was Not My Idea that he drink from a stream at that altitude. I think Sven is suffering from a Colorado Intestinal Parasite that has Gone to His Brain. There is no way those two will be ever happy together. She's Hard Plastic; he's IKEA stuffing. If Sven comes back here, I will welcome him with Open Arms. (But, I hasten to add, my HMO will not pay for cosmetic tattoo removal. And it will only pay for piercing repair if it interferes with, well, "marital issues.") And my premiums will go up if Sven makes a claim, so the issue is moot. I never signed up for weirdness; merely for plushie cutesiness. Wood should be ashamed of himself. But I have pointed this out to him before, to little effect, so I don't expect this indictment to have any effect. I am devastated. In agony. Don't gloat. I'll recover. devastatedtomb
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Joan the Dwarf: Sven, honey, you get yourself out of that mess then get over here to England - we'll take care of you here.Wood, how do I extend my invitation to Sven?
easy. Send your address to sven@johnheronproject.com or sven@missmonica.org and you'll be included in the itinerarereraa. Oh, and Tomb... can I just gloat a little bit? A teensy bit?
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
{snort}Wait 'til Mattel goes after you (as webmaster) and MM for messin' with the Barbie cultural icon. You'll wish the only thing they were using to punish you were MM's whips 'n' chains. Then we'll see who gets to gloat. And, by the way, who signed that moose up for a SoF membership? Sven can't type any better now than when he was at my place and trying to browse the ungulate porn sites. Anyone ever see ungulate porn? I'd rather watch pigs being butchered....
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
The penultimate installment of Sven's California odyssey: Jaws of Death. In order to add to your reading pleasure, Miss Monica has supplied me with a translation of the Spanglish the story contains: quote:
- Ey, homie, es el mini-venado who tagged en el territorio. [I say, comrade, it's the mini-moose who wrote grafitti in our neighborhood.]- Ey, mini-s**t, you got huevos comin' down here! [I say, small piece of excrement, you're very brave to come to this neighborhood!] - I don't see no huevos, Spooky. Ey! Fool! You got mini-huevos to go with that mini-brain? [I see no evidence of a source for his bravery, Spooky. I say! O foolish one! Have you testicles the size of your brains?] - What we gone do wit' you, ponque? [Whatever are we going to do about you, young ruffian?] - We could chutiar his ass. [We could shoot him.] - That sounds all right. But it's messy. Venado s**t all over the place. [A good suggestion, but dreadfully messy. Moose innards everywhere.] - Stomp his ass, Clever! [We could squash him.] - Hell, no! Chale, homie. My shoes are new. [Not a good suggestion! Perhaps you should calm down, my compatriot. After all, these are Gucci loafers I wear.] - Ey, homie. Feed him to Creeper. [I say, my friend. Let's feed him to the terrifying dog with the equally intimidating name.] - No le gusta esa chingadera pa comer. Es stinky. [The dog doesn't care for spicy food -- the moose is too aromatic for his taste.] - Ese, he eats anything. [My dear chap! That dog would eat my grandmother.] - Esta pendeja! La Barbie jumped into his mouth! [The Barbie doll jumped into the dog's mouth! I marvel at her stupidity!] - Es la chota! Let's get the fuck outta here! [The police approach! Let us flee at once!]
I hope this is of some use...
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Sven the Moose
Ship's mascot
# 1613
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by tomb: who signed that moose up for a SoF membership? Sven can't type any better now than when he was at my place and trying to browse the ungulate porn sites.
That what Sven wanted yøu to think. quote: anyone ever see ungulate porn? I'd rather watch pigs being butchered....
Nø. Sven never seen any. An' anyøne whø say øtherwise be hearing frøm Sven's lawyers.
Posts: 29 | From: Wood's desk | Registered: Oct 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Wood: ....In order to add to your reading pleasure, Miss Monica has supplied me with a translation of the Spanglish the story contains: I hope this is of some use...
Er, Wood. I am seriously worried. Uh, how do I say this? Um, Miss Monica's translations weren't exactly, uh, accurate? Either Miss M doesn't know what some of those words mean, or she was choosing not to translate them in order to protect our sensibilities. I don't know which explanation terrifies me more.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
JB, what with the flurry of post about this time of year, I think it best, Sven stays with you for Christmas... maybe you could send him (to Rachel?) afterwards...
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
Mail the addies listed above with your postal address and Mr. The Moose's travel co-ordinator will sort you out...
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
For the last time this thread...Sven has already visited: GillH FionaJane David Dana Presleyterian Renee Elizabeth George in Montreal Kirsten Siegfried RuthW Islandexile and Duckie Tomb And has had an unfortunate dalliance in LA. he has yet to visit... Sara JB Rachel Lam Nicolemrw And then that's it for the US (anyone in the US who wants to be added to the list should mail me before he's left Rachel).
In the UK: Brickbat Amanda and Starbelly Sean and Bronwyn Chorister (note: all the above people live in Devon... maybe they could meet up?) Wibblethorpe Beethoven Carmel Joan the Person of Diminutive Stature Maddie Clare Lev Oodzook Chris ‘Teaboy’ Taylor Bongo Arietty 'Frin and Dyfrig Angel Carys Babybear, the Gremlin and their cute kids Rosemary And then, at home in Swansea... Chalky nessa and IanF The Hapless Boy Rhys Rameses Niblick III Wood and Tracy
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Mrs de Point
Shipmate
# 1430
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Posted
Have sent in my address in hope Sven can come & visit Calvin, Matthias & me at the end of the Met line....
-------------------- Beware I am not in control of my hormones..... or my mind
Posts: 602 | From: Across the road from Calvin | Registered: Sep 2001
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Reepicheep
BANNED
# 60
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Miss Nomer: Have sent in my address in hope Sven can come & visit Calvin, Matthias & me at the end of the Met line....
In which case a met line meet is in order. [thinks] If I manage a moose-toss with Carys, I can also manage another one with the metline moosetossers... Angel
Posts: 2199 | Registered: May 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
Sven has arrived and he already has his cowboy hat. Now I will need to persuade Whimsy to be a western horse for him.
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
First installment: Moose in New MexicoThe first thing to do is get a cowboy hat. Sven gets a hat And the next thing is to catch up with the Ship Sven tracks his adventures Sven checks on the cooperative BTW, what ever happened to the moose clone auction? I will miss the little fellow already. And also checking out the SETI calculations on the screen saver. He seemed excited about something. Sven checks SETI progress He was having such a good time with the computer that I converted his picture into Windows wall paper Sven Wallpaper Sven looks at Sven Wallpaper If I can reach some sort of deal with the Ship Managenent, say for contributions to the organ fund, would anyone like the wallpaper files?
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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George in Montreal
Apprentice
# 153
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Posted
I love the wallpaper and the pics of Sven but... WHO TOOK OFF HIS CANADIAN FLAG? My little scotch-drinking buddy is starting to look frighteningly American...
Posts: 32 | From: Saint Lambert, Quebec, Canada | Registered: May 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
Second installment: Moose in New MexicoThe next thing to do is discover the local food The local food is a mixture of Spanish and Indian influences. The most distinctive part is the use of chiles picked green, as a vegetable, instead of red, dried, and ground as a spice. Depending on location and the weather before picking, these can be mild to (very) hot. Also local is the layered flat enchilada, instead of rolled. It is often served with a fried egg on top. Finally, the best local corn (maize) is blue and retains the color when made into tortillas. Therefore Sven had to have a "flat green blue-corn enchilada with egg". Sven meets enchilada (at Roadrunner Cafe, Pojoaque NM) Sopapillas are puffed fried bread. In other parts of Mexico they are desserts, but here we put honey in them and eat them with the chile (to protect the stomach lining...) Sven and sopapillas (at Roadrunner Cafe, Pojoaque NM) And sopapillas can be filled with beans and meat and chile to make a stuffed sopapilla. Sven and stuffed sopapilla (at El Pinto, Albuquerque NM) And there are excellent Mexican beers, such as Negra Modelo. Sven meets Negra Modelo
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
Third installment: Moose in New Mexico And then to see some local churches
Nambe, an area where the Spanish Crown granted land to a sargent and his five soldiers back in the colonial period, about 1620. The families are still there... Sven visits Nambe Then Sven drove the Porsche through the Nambe Pueblo lands over to Chimayo (and Cundido and the High Road to Taos), one of the most worthwhile drives in the area. Sven driving through the desert And in Chimayo, theres el Santuario, a sort of Southwestern Lourdes. Sven visits Chimayo He paused alonside the road. He was having such a good time with the computer that I converted his picture into wall paper Sven Pause Wallpaper
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
From the beautiful vistas of New Mexico, to the snow and ice of Rachel in Minneapolis. I hope that our dear moose doesn't get the sniffles with the temperature changes. Motherboard
-------------------- In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
Fourth installment: Moose in New MexicoChristmas is Coming! Sven practiced some Christmas music Sven Practises Sven helped wrap presents Sven bringing the bow Tired Sven relaxed among the presents. Sven among the bows And then it was time to light the Mexican tinwork Christmas tree. Sven took his place on the fire extinguisher as Mary lighted (only) the front half of the tree. Sven and Southwestern Christmas Tree (It`s not Boutros Boutros Pine Tree) A Southwestern tradition is to light the path to the house for Mary and Joseph on Christmas Exe. This can be small bonfires (usually called Luminarias) or paper bags (weighted with sand) containing candles. These are usually called farolitos (but sometimes luminarias). Whole neighborhoods decorate themselves. In the nearby town of Espanola the Boy Scouts decorate the main streets and people drive through town with their lights off....... Sven and cat discuss farolito Sven and cat with operating farolito Sven inside farolito
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
JB,This moose has had some blissful, happy days with you, and the scenery ain't bad either. I just love the Sven wallpaper! Thanks so much for all your running around and taking the superb photos. It's been great being a computer sighteseer from the comfort of our homes. Motherboard
-------------------- In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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marmot
Mountain mammal
# 479
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Posted
JB, did Sven put some Chimayo dirt on his tattoo scars?
-------------------- Join me in "The Legion of Bad Monkeys"
Posts: 2754 | From: The land of Saint Damien | Registered: Jun 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
As a mater of fact it never occurred to me that Sven needed healing after his LA experience. I`ll ask my son (Catholic in good standing...) if he can arrange it.
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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JB*
Horse marine
# 396
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Posted
Seventh Installment: Moose in New Mexico What do you do on the day after Christmas in New Mexico? Play Tourist and go to Los Alamos
First a stop for Motherboard, the scenic view on the `Front Hill Road` The Sangres received their name from the original Spanish colonists, from their color at sunset. These a granite upthrust mountains, the southern tips of the Rocky Mountain range. The smudge of white at the far left are the Crestones, about 130 miles away in southern Colorado. The snow-covered peaks on the far right are the Truchas peaks Just to their left is Wheeler Peak, tallest in New Mexico. Taos is just below Wheeler. Sven looking east toward the Sangre de Christo Mountains, toward Taos The air polution smudge at the base of the mountains on the far right is Santa Fe. Above Santa Fe are Lake Peak and Santa Fe Baldy. Note the snow fron about December 7, hiding out in the shadow on the north side of the ridge. There are three means of heat transfer: Conduction, Convection, and Radiation. At 7200 feet elevation above about 28% of the atmosphere and with relative humidity of 10% to 20%, radiation becomes the dominant method. Snow on north sides or under bushes can hang on into early June. Sven looking east toward the Sangre de Christo Mountains, toward Santa Fe And up at the Laboratory Museum (not the town museum, which has exhibits of life at the pre-war Ranch School and the Manhattan Project days) there are some unique exhibits. Sven perched on the B-61 and waved his hat just like Slim Pickins. Who would have thought he was a movie fan? Sven Perched on the B-61 just like the scene from Strangelove, but the original probably used a B-28 The museum now has a sign: "Do Not Sit on the Bomb". Tourists used to take pictures of their children draped over it.............. Sven Straddled a Little Boy to get his picture taken, just like the tourists used to No, Fat Man (at about 6 feet in diameter and 9 feet long was too big even for Sven. Fat Man, without Sven And afterwards a stop at the fountain outside the museum to collect a few thoughts. Sven sitting and thinking [ 27 December 2001: Message edited by: the Angel of the North ]
-------------------- You live, you learn. You learn, you live.
Posts: 1011 | From: State of Amazement and Delight | Registered: Jun 2001
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Mrs de Point
Shipmate
# 1430
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Posted
JB he certainly looks like he is having a good time
-------------------- Beware I am not in control of my hormones..... or my mind
Posts: 602 | From: Across the road from Calvin | Registered: Sep 2001
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Ye Olde Motherboarde
Ship's Mother and Singing Quilter
# 54
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Posted
(loud clearing of throat)Yes, George, it is good that our dear Sven has the Canadian flag pinned to him, just a question here...... er, but where is the American flag pin I gave to him? Motherboard
-------------------- In Memory of Miss Molly, TimC, Gambit, KenWritez, koheleth, Leetle Masha, JLG, Genevieve, Erin, RuthW2, deuce2, Sidi and TonyCoxon, unbeliever, Morlader, Ken :tear: 20 years but who’s counting?..................
Posts: 4292 | From: Looking for more trouble to get into | Registered: May 2001
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