Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: What the world needs now is.... ME! to be its moral and theological guardian
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
Dear Whazzits:
I have received your first check by registered international post. Thank you very much for your promptness. At your earliest possible convenience, please fax the pertinent pages from your ledger. It's not that I don't trust you, it's merely that I don't trust you.
By the way, you have the handwriting of a sociopath. Just thought you should know.
Also, next time please convert all amounts from Sterling to US$. I prefer not to deal with odd money.
tomb your landlord
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Ultraspike
Incensemeister
# 268
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Chorister: Thanks, that was as clear as mud. Next time I have a really pressing question that I want answered clearly, I will call an ambulance (Rev.G.Ambulance to be precise.........)
And was Rev. Amby any more helpful to you? BTW, where has that charlatan gotten to? I guess fame has turned his head away from his poor deserted flock. Well, as Mae West would say, they come and they go, they go and they come, and always too soon.
-------------------- A cowgirl's work is never done.
Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001
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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15
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Posted
Ah, Blue. Dear little Blue. Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue, Blue.
No comment.
If you aren't execessively nice to be, Mr b, your next payment will be in that oh-so-credible currency, the Euro.
duchess - you learn quick.
Chorister, let me try and make this simple. As the Prophet said, "In the middle of the night, by the river of dreams, we didn't start the fire, but it's still rock and roll to me that I'm in love with an innocent man."
As for Shambulance, may his time at Canterbury be one of pestilence, plague and humorously shaped boils on his nether regions.
-------------------- "He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt
Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
quote: If you aren't execessively nice to be, Mr b, your next payment will be in that oh-so-credible currency, the Euro.
I'll be excessively nice to you as long as you keep your account current. Thanks eversomuch for understanding.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
I really am surprised. It takes gin to tomb mellow, and now it seems, oodles of cash to make him polite.
My Lord Dyfrig, your Grace of Whatzzits, what would it take to make tomb smile or sing a happy tune?
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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tomb
Shipmate
# 174
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Posted
I'll never tell you, you moldy thing.
Posts: 5039 | From: Denver, Colorado | Registered: May 2001
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Louise
Shipmate
# 30
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Posted
quote: what would it take to make tomb smile or sing a happy tune?
Enough concubines to make Mousethief jealous?
-------------------- Now you need never click a Daily Mail link again! Kittenblock replaces Mail links with calming pics of tea and kittens! http://www.teaandkittens.co.uk/ Click under 'other stuff' to find it.
Posts: 6918 | From: Scotland | Registered: May 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Louise: quote: what would it take to make tomb smile or sing a happy tune?
Enough concubines to make Mousethief jealous?
But I don't desire any concubines.
Reader Alexis
-------------------- This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by tomb: I'll never tell you, you moldy thing.
Such blatant anti-mammalianism! May all your gin evaporate, and may all your money be fool's gold.
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Mousethief: quote: Originally posted by Louise: quote: what would it take to make tomb smile or sing a happy tune?
Enough concubines to make Mousethief jealous?
But I don't desire any concubines.
Reader Alexis
That's because you don't live in the OT time zone she says smugly.
-------------------- ♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮ Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by babybear: I really am surprised. It takes gin to tomb mellow, and now it seems, oodles of cash to make him polite.
I think, bb, that you are finally understanding how the Anglican Communion works, particularly the Anglo-Catholic bit of it. quote:
My Lord Dyfrig, your Grace of Whatzzits, what would it take to make tomb smile or sing a happy tune?
Quite simple - by pushing this thread to the top of the page with gratuitous attacks on fellow Christians.
-------------------- "He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt
Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
Hey, you!
I've decided to nuke the entire world next weekend, just because. I'm taking a group of sycophants; witty, urbane types; and some people I laughingly call friends with me to the moon, to watch the firework display. We'll live up there for a bit, then come back to earth when the nuclear whassits have stopped being deadly.
- Do you want a seat on the rocket?
- Is there any good* reason why I shouldn't do this?
Viki
*Human life is sacred, or Killing everyone is a sin do not fall into the category of good reasons. Sez me.
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
Don't nuke the world.
It's where I keep all my stuff.
-------------------- Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Dear Sarkycow,
It's been tried before. You'll be thwarted at the eleventh hour by James Bond/Dr Who/Hong Kong Phooey.
Anyway, you're no rocket scientist.
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by sarkycow: Yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah
My dearingest, darlingest, Sarktoria,
There are many people on the Ship who consider you to be an interesting and knowledgeable contributor whose posts are always worth reading.
I suggest you go and talk to them instead.
Yours etc.
-------------------- "He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt
Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001
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jlg
What is this place? Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Most Esteemed Dyfrig, Would it be within your Churchly powers to somehow enter the minds of all these "god-fearing" politicians around the world and set them straight? Your Humble Servant,
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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dyfrig
Blue Scarfed Menace
# 15
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by jlg: somehow enter the minds of all these "god-fearing" politicians around the world and set them straight?
A most interesting question (take note, everybody else).
There is a slight practical problem. The minds of the leaders to whom you refer already appear to be oocupied by 12-foot lizards and the Bildeberg Group (apart from Dweezil Bush, whose mind can only contain a small pretzel, and Tea-Towel Head in Ramallah, whose marbles have been away from home longer than the ones nicked by Lord Elgin).
I was speaking to my colleague, The Controller of World Affairs (Mr Arthur Ploxstead of 23 Snetterton Way, Smegma, Gloucestershire) the other day and he says the only way things are going to change is through the mass introduction of the Tetley's "pyramidical" teabag. But Arthur always was slightly odd, to say the least. He will never get the time machine to work - firstly his shed isn't big enough and anyway the Council will never let him install a plutonium reactor in conservation area.
Er, .... sorry, I don't think I should have told you that.
Anyway, my advice is clear - bathe every day and tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree. If in doubt, press # on your telephone keypad and help will be provided as soon as one of our operatives stops playing "Air on a G String" on the Bontempi organ.
-------------------- "He was wrong in the long run, but then, who isn't?" - Tony Judt
Posts: 6917 | From: pob dydd Iau, am hanner dydd | Registered: Apr 2001
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