|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Hell: Cats!
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Ham'n'Eggs,
Quote: "They do if they are superglued to a stroller".
Very helpful hint! Now people won't have to use a nail gun.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Miss_Molly
Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by sharkshooter:
They "ask" to be carried? Like when my father used to "ask" me to clean my room.
With this important difference, dear Sharky! I am quite willing to carry them. I presume you were not so willing to do what your estimable parent directed.
CorgiGreta, please be careful. They have only recently begun to allow you to have scissors and tableknives again. You would not want your privileges revoked for an attack on cats, which all mentally healthy people adore. Please see also the result of Ham and Eggs' experiment with superglue. Eggs Benedict tells me his trotters are healing nicely now, but I am sure your little pads are more tender than a pig's trotters.
--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"
Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899
Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
|
Posted
CorgiGreta, staple guns work, too.
Miss_Molly, I will continue to pray for your release from the spell under which you find yourself. "Be heeeeaaaaled!"
--------------------
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
I can't believe they revived this thread.
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
I have never carried a cat! The closest I have come is draging a body-bag full ot them back home after a successful cat hunt. My dogs are small so they can only carry one cat each. They always hold it high, proud of their trophy. I'd be happy to post pictures of some of the bigger catches if anyone is interested.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Miss_Molly
Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
I can't believe they revived this thread.
Mistress Ariel! I am so glad to see you posting.
Hurrah, the founder of our thread is back....
A woman who started a skein that is now on its tenth page! Deservedly, she now has her portrait on the wall of successful diversion conceivers.
Thanks for your prayers Sharky, dear. Could you instead pray for God to make me very. very rich? I would come to Canada and take you and Mrs Sharkshooter, and the Sharkwaterpistols to a lovely dinner. I am reliably informed cat is never on the menu at the fine dining establishments of our Good Neighbor to the North, so I would feel quite safe extending the invitation.
*shakes head sadly at CorgiGreta* I don't know, dear. Perhaps the ship is too tame for your imagination. Have you seen the special interest chat rooms? I imagine among all the Dungeon and Dragon, faux vampire, realm of faerie, and creature cantina ones there would be a room welcoming your role of cat huntress.
Just in case, be advised the safety crossings are off all the various and deady pits between you and the Jedi Temple.
--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"
Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899
Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
Sister Miss_Molly, it seems so very tame around here, now. Mind you, I'm certainly not complaining! How nice to be able to relax in the hammocks, and play with the kitties!
**contented sigh*
My kitties have forgiven me for going away last week. Of course they have to pretend for an hour or two that they're never going to speak to me again, but they have such a good time at Grandma's that they can't keep the ruse up for long.
Oh. Do you hear screaming coming from those pits outside the Jedi Temple? No? Well, I'll just lie back again.
Here kitty! Let me rub your ears! That's right, precious! <kissy sounds>
jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Ham 'm' Eggs!!! What have you cat people done to Ham 'n' Eggs??? First the Rev. Dr. Campbellite goes missing. Now poor Ham 'n' Eggs and his pretty pigs. I suspect serial cat-hater killers are on the loose. We need Morse on this one, but alas, he is no longer with us.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Clarifiaction:
Make that "killers of cat haters". I'm so overcome by remorse, that I forgot to preview my post.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
We need Morse on this one, but alas, he is no longer with us.
Morse used to be a shipmate? Nothing would surprise me.
Of course, he wasn't a cat lover, which is probably why he died suddenly. I can see it all now. This reminds me very much of the Bond movies, where the evil Blofeld, whose aim is world domination, is never seen without his fluffy white Persian cat. Those of us who don't like cats are all on a List, and when we least expect it, will be suddenly grabbed from behind and disposed of. Who will be next? Is Ham'n'Eggs being fed to the piranhas in Blofeld's pond, or merely chained upside down in a dank cave with water dripping on his head, until he gives in and promises to like cats?
You're right, CG, what we need is a famous dead detective to investigate it.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Miss_Molly
Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339
|
Posted
It is not I or the Jedi who are responsible for Ham 'n' Eggs' disappearance. The kitties are wearing black collars in mourning; the Jedi and I observed ten minutes' sad silence when we read the news that our shipmate had departed.
I myself believe it was a fiendish, master criminal, doomed to a low cholesterol diet, and envious of those who may partake of the really good things in life, who is responsible for our loss. I have heard that one of Dr Moriarty's descendants' suffered a coronary a few years back and since then has evangelized for the no eggs, no meat crowd.
I wonder if the great Sherlock Holmes left any genetic material in the world? Perhaps he had warmer relations with Irene Adler, (the Woman), than Dr Watson, a Victorian gentleman, felt it right to record.
In the meantime, wherever our shipmate is, our warm wishes are with him, Eggs Benedict, and Poached and Scrambled Eggs.
--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"
Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899
Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ultraspike
Incensemeister
# 268
|
Posted
I'm sure ya'll will be delighted to know there's now a channel for cats: Meow TV ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
--------------------
A cowgirl's work is never done.
Posts: 2732 | From: NYC | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
|
Posted
ummm, NO!
--------------------
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
Yes, if it means they shove off and spend their spare time watching it, that's fine with me.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Thanks Ultraspike. That press release was one of the most hilarious things I have read in a long time. I especially liked the woman who said that cats were her role model when growning up. Does she relieve herself in a litter box?
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
I expect she goes round digging holes in other people's gardens when she feels the need.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Miss_Molly
Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339
|
Posted
Oh, I imagine she modelled herself on their grace and independence of nature!
By the way, I will be unavoidably ashore for about a week or ten days. I know I can rely on your honor to leave the kitties be until I am back to defend them!
--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"
Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899
Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
Miss_Molly, rest and heal. I am staying in the background, watching over our dear kitties. I am also looking for any who are trying to harm the ones we protect the kitties against. I may not agree with them, but I will protect them to the death!
I hope they are well, and only taking a little vacation, or some such.
jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Molly:
By the way, I will be unavoidably ashore for about a week or ten days. I know I can rely on your honor to leave the kitties be until I am back to defend them!
If I'm still around, we can resume. Does anyone think cats might look better if they shaved?
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Ariel,
Cat owners (notice I do not say 'good cat owners' or 'conscientious cat owners' since that would obviously be self-contracictory) should always keep their loathsome beasts clean-shaven. Whiskers make them even more grotesque. I understand that it is best to liberally apply Nair or hot wax to the pusses' ugly pusses However, if I were to try cat whisker removal, I would much prefer to use a straight-edge razor.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel: If I'm still around, we can resume. Does anyone think cats might look better if they shaved?
No!!! Neither would I, but that's another story.
jj...singing a chorus of "Hair"...
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
I wasn't just thinking of the whiskers. More a sort of all-over shave.
The ideal pet should have feathers or scales - or come with a year's supply of batteries. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
|
Posted
It is well known that a love of cats is a sign spiritual enlightenment. If cats were good enough for Neffertiti, they're good enough for me. ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif)
--------------------
Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Greetings to all,
Alas, I have not been able to access the Ship regularly since the upgrades. I fear that my antique coal fired difference engine (aka my five year old computer) is not up to handling the new features very well. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
In any case, I did want to report one bit of local news which may interest the group. Our local county supervisors have FINALLY adopted a law requiring persons enslaved to felines to have the mangy beasts vaccinated against rabies. (At last!) They have even authorized the local constabulary to enforce the law by trsansporting the furry demons to the animal shelter where they can be observed and if found rabies free, vaccinated at the owners expense. (US$250). Personally, I think they are getting off cheap.
Perhaps now if we can only so something about those evil feral cats.... ![[Flaming]](graemlins/angryfire.gif) The only good thing to be said for them is that they have not yet managed to enslave any unsuspecting humans for their demonic purposes.
Still in possession of my faculties and my fireplace poker, I remain your most faithful servant,
Campbellite
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
|
Posted
It is a little known fact that Cleopatra had a pet cat, who died trying to defend her mistress from the attack of an angry asp. Just goes to prove that cats are loyal and kind - as well as spiritually sensitive. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
--------------------
Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
Not sure that cats are a sign of spiritual enlightenment - Sycorax (head of section) is potty about them and is pretty definitely an atheist.
I have a lot of sympathy for the asp, which I think was much misunderstood. How would you feel if you were shut up in a dark basket for days on end, then stuffed face first into someone's busty substances, as Peter Cook put it?
OK, it takes all sorts, but it's not my idea of fun.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Wanderer:
...Cleopatra had a pet cat, who died trying to defend her mistress...
Another reason not to have a cat (as if you need another) - they make useless body guards.
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
OK, you's guys. Miss_Molly has put you on your best behavior. She just told me so herself.
quote:
Sharkshooter told us:
Another reason not to have a cat (as if you need another) - they make useless body guards.
Imagine a little five-pound creature having the fortitude and bravery to defend his/her human. Of course they can't do much! The size difference puts them at a huge disadvantage, but that same difference doesn't cause them to cower in the face of death.
What would you do if a being 30 times your size and weight would attack one of your loved ones? Would you run and hide? Even if that being used a deadly snake against your child, parent or spouse? No! You would try! Even failure is an honorable outcome, if what you do, you do out of love and/or loyalty.
So there.
jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Blue
Shipmate
# 3067
|
Posted
Oooh! How lovely! A thread to share my delight in my beautiful Russian Blue, Boris. I wonder if I can take some photos to show everyone how gorgeous he is. Mmmm, I just love the way he nuzzles up to his daddy. Who loves his daddy-kins then? Bowsey-wowsy, of course! Adorable!
Is it safe to let him exercise here?
--------------------
Cabinboy Blue
Posts: 113 | From: sunk without trace | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
(Several piranhas, circling the ship, sit up and take notice, as they are about to be fed a tasty young cabinboy.)
I still don't understand this fascination with cats. I mean, once you've seen one, you've seen them all. They all look alike, and they all behave alike. You can spot them a mile off.
And really. What have cats ever achieved? What plays have they written, or what scientific advancements have they made?
Give me 10 reasons why I should change my mind and like them. Go on. I bet you can't even find 2. And don't mention cute appearance, that cuts no ice with me. I don't choose my friends for their looks.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
sharkshooter
Not your average shark
# 1589
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Blue:
I wonder if I can take some photos to show everyone how gorgeous he is.
No!!!
--------------------
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]
Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
DonnaPatricia
Shipmate
# 3017
|
Posted
Hi,
received this on another list, and I make no apologies for passing on this useful tidbit of information. I apologise unreservedly to cat lovers, but it did strike me as very funny.
HOW TO BATHE A CAT
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, then sit on top so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds.
(Ignore ruckus from inside the toilet. Cat is enjoying this.)
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides "power rinse," which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible, then quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where your now-clean pet will air dry.
Yours in Christ
Donna Patricia
Posts: 76 | From: West London | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
Blue, of course your precious little Boris can exercize with the kitty clan! Just make sure to have a Jedi escort through the secret, non-lethal route to the Jedi temple...where kitties of all kinds romp in a cat-hater-free environment.
Ariel, if I give you 10 reasons, will you change your mind? Will you like kitties?
1. God loves kitties.
2. They eat mice, rats and other vermin.
3. They lay on your feet to keep them (the feet) warm on cold nights.
4. They are very entertaining to watch as they cavort together in play.
5. Some cats can be very sensitive to their human's needs and illnesses. (Remind me to tell you the True Story of Mike the Siamese).
6. Unlike dogs, cats will use the litter box, and cover their business (if kept properly indoors).
7. They are fairly inexpensive to keep as pets.
8. They are smart enough to recognize a cat-hater in their home, and will nicely sit on that person's lap. (Either as a tease, or to try to make friends...I'm not quite sure which.)
9. Cats' purring is a soothing sound...for most people.
10. Cats have traditionally been on ships for ages, and I think they are most appropriate here!
As an aside, I also think there are cats that need not to be near people. There are some rotten apples in the feline world, as much as in the human one.
![[Smile]](smile.gif) jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
|
Posted
Nice try, jj, but I have heard more persuasive arguments from people who insisit that their 20- foot boa constrictor is a cuddly little angel.
Compared to a cat, a boa is in fact a vastly superior pet. A boa doesn't stink, snarl, spray, scratch, or screech. There is no need for a putrid, malodorous, fly-infested litter box.
You won't have to spend a small fortune on little cans of slimy fish-slaughter by-product. Simply toss a cat to the boa once or twice a week, and the boa is in pig heaven. I tink you would enjoy watching the boa "cavort" with the cats.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Ariel, if I give you 10 reasons, will you change your mind? Will you like kitties?
Not just any 10 reasons, JJ, you have to convince this jaded, unsentimental old cynic in a way I can relate to. Telling me that God loves cats isn't going to do much for me. God also loves rats, politicians, and everybody I don't like. I'm going to disagree with your next 6 points, as they can be proved factually inaccurate and don't hold true for the species as a whole.
> 8. They are smart enough to recognize a cat-hater in their home, and will nicely sit on that person's lap. (Either as a tease, or to try to make friends...I'm not quite sure which.)
True. They usually make a beeline for me, which I don't want, and climb up my leg with claws out, when I am holding a cup of tea, or suddenly leap onto the back of my neck. I have stopped visiting friends who own cats for this reason.
> 9. Cats' purring is a soothing sound...for most people.
OK, true. Ditto the sound of a peacefully ticking clock and the pulse of the ocean waves, but if you like these things you can buy tapes of them.
> 10. Cats have traditionally been on ships for ages, and I think they are most appropriate here!
Yup, I agree with this, provided there aren't too many. I would say this place also needs at least one Ship's Rat, to balance things out, and give the Ship's Cat something to do.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Blue
Shipmate
# 3067
|
Posted
(nervously waits for Jedi escort, and ponders quite what Cat Rancher will be posting on this thread?)
--------------------
Cabinboy Blue
dreaming of dubloons!
Posts: 113 | From: sunk without trace | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
|
Posted
I have to agree with jedijudy on this. Dogs? pah - smelly, overenthusiastic creatures with no dignity ro self-respect. Cats, on the other hand ![[Sunny]](graemlins/flowerface.gif)
When I am feeling down, one of my cats will always come and look after me. Not demanding - just being there in case I want her to sit with me. The other one wisely steers clear! There is nothing on this earth so soothing as sitting with a purring cat curled up on my lap. Or having a cat snuggle up beside me on the settee. And the free entertainment we get from watching them trying to catch flies, bees etc. in the garden - well, it's better than anything on the TV! (not that that's difficult, I admit! )
I can't answer for all felines everywhere, but I have to say I would not be without mine for the world.
Smelly litter tray? Not at all. When they have a tray it's cleaned regularly - and with a good cat litter there's no smell anyway.
They're a huge benefit to us, particularly in autumn with all the windfall apples on the lawn. Our landlady warned us that they cause a bad mice problem unless they're picked up quickly. Strangely enough, we've never bothered clearing the apples unless the lawn needs mowing, and we've not had any problem with mice at all ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Cats? Heaven sent ![[Yipee]](graemlins/spin.gif)
--------------------
Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Ariel, if I give you 10 reasons, will you change your mind? Will you like kitties?
jj, don't bother. The doctrines of Christianity notwithstanding, some folks just are not redeemable.
Cats, of course, are wholly redeemed, a sign of God's Kingdom here upon earth:
For I will consider my Cat Jeoffry.
For he is the servant of the Living God duly and daily serving him.
For at the first glance of the glory of God in the East he worships in his way.
For is this done by wreathing his body seven times round with elegant quickness.
For then he leaps up to catch the musk, which is the blessing of God upon his prayer.
-Christopher Smart, Jubilate Agno
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
CorgiGreta, boas can be fine "pets", even though I find them to have no intelligence. They do have a particular fault in that they could eat small children...which cats are incapable of doing. My other pet is a reptile, but iguanas are Much more intelligent than snakes, and are fun to watch.
Ariel, I think it very strange that a cat would waste energy by climbing up your legs when a little jump and a soft landing are so much more efficient. You should come see my kitties...especially Jassy who has never bitten or scratched anyone.
Blue, consider yourself escorted! Would you care for a cup of Earl Grey...hot?
Thanks Beethoven and RuthW! With Miss_Molly away and unable to use her lightsaber with me in kitty-defense, we need to stand shoulder-to-shoulder and remain vigilant in our sacred duties.
jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ChristinaMarie
Shipmate
# 1013
|
Posted
To the Shipmates who hate cats,
The Lion of Judah is coming after you!!!
Christina
Posts: 2333 | From: Oldham | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
> (Beethoven) And the free entertainment we get from watching them trying to catch flies, bees etc. in the garden - well, it's better than anything on the TV!
Yes, I've heard about nightlife in Didcot - I'm told the other form of entertainment in the evenings is going out to watch the traffic lights change.
> (Ruth W) Cats, of course, are wholly redeemed, a sign of God's Kingdom here upon earth
Oh, come on. Cats have no souls, and won't go to Heaven. They can't, because they haven't been baptized.
> (Jedijudy) They [boas] do have a particular fault in that they could eat small children...which cats are incapable of doing.
The only thing that stops cats eating small children is the logistics. If cats were twice the size or children half the size, we'd have a serious problem, and they'd treat children the way they do birds and mice. I think cats should be bred for smallness, then once they were the size of mice, life would be a lot easier all round.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
|
Posted
Oh dear, oh dear!
Clearly I have been away far too long, and the inmates have taken over the asylum.
It grieves me to the bottom of my soul that there remain among our most beloved shipmates so many poor benighted souls who are even yet in the evil clutches of the feline, fur-bearing demons.
Alas for you, ensnared victims of the spawn of Satan, Alas for you have been deceived by their cunning and insideous ways. They come as cute and seemingly "innocent" kittens, and when they have their victims fooled into thinking that they are harmless, they have you enslaved to do their bidding.
Flee! Flee from the hell-born felines! They are not your friends. They are not "pets", they are the leading edge of Hell's assault on the souls of the redeemed! Repent and be saved!
Campbellite
(Sharpening poker, stoking coals in the barbecue pit)
--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
Alas for you have been deceived by their cunning and insideous ways. They come as cute and seemingly "innocent" kittens, and when they have their victims fooled into thinking that they are harmless, they have you enslaved to do their bidding.
Flee! Flee from the hell-born felines! They are not your friends. They are not "pets", they are the leading edge of Hell's assault on the souls of the redeemed! Repent and be saved!
I haven't gone back and checked my previous posts, but I would be surprised if I've ever claimed (or implied) innocence on my cats' behalf. I know they own me, not the other way round. I am fully aware that I am there to satisfy their every whim (in their opinions anyway), and that I have failed in my duty every time that I do not fulfil this function.
However, they are not hell's creatures. Indeed, an evening spent with a cat or two purring on one's lap is a glimpse of heaven ![[Heart]](graemlins/heartpump.gif)
--------------------
Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Alaric the Goth
Shipmate
# 511
|
Posted
I did not used to like cats. But for about 8 years we have had Barney (we had Fred AND Barney for a while). Barney is blackish-brown, fairly furry/fluffy, lazy and v. large., with a little bit of white fur on his belly.
When the weather is cooler/cold he spends most evenings on my lap.
I will take my Visigothic vorpal sword and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the lightsaber-wielding jedijudy and her allies to fight the Feline-hating fraternity (well there must be only one or two such Misguided Ones).
Posts: 3322 | From: West Thriding | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Beethoven:
I know they own me, not the other way round. I am fully aware that I am there to satisfy their every whim (in their opinions anyway), and that I have failed in my duty every time that I do not fulfil this function.
However, they are not hell's creatures. Indeed, an evening spent with a cat or two purring on one's lap is a glimpse of heaven
Doesn't this worry you in any way? The first paragraph could apply just as well to one's employers. But at least they pay you for what you do, and you can have time off and company perks, and your head of section doesn't come and sit in your lap or mountaineer up your leg whether you like it or not. At least, I hope s/he doesn't, for your sake.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
|
Posted
If anyone hears an alarming "Snicker-Snack", that would be Alaric the Goth and jedijudy.
Jasmine was so distressed yesterday. Daughter-Unit had been gone for 6 days, and Jassy finally decided that maybe I had lost her (D-U), or something. She paced worriedly, meowing to remind me that I was missing someone. You should have seen Jassy when D-U got home last night. She was so pleased. Her purring could be heard in the next room as she sat on D-U's lap. She is very contented and happy today.
Cats can be such wonderful members of the family .
jj
--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Beethoven
Ship's deaf genius
# 114
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Beethoven:
I know they own me, not the other way round. I am fully aware that I am there to satisfy their every whim (in their opinions anyway), and that I have failed in my duty every time that I do not fulfil this function.
Doesn't this worry you in any way? The first paragraph could apply just as well to one's employers. But at least they pay you for what you do, and you can have time off and company perks, and your head of section doesn't come and sit in your lap or mountaineer up your leg whether you like it or not. At least, I hope s/he doesn't, for your sake.
Company perks??? What are they then? Oh, you mean reading the boards all day because they can't be bothered to give me anything to do! But I know which is more enjoyable out of my relationship with my cats and my relationship with my employer! Felines every time
I suppose the difference is that I choose to be in the relationship with my cats, and that the rewards they give me are much more meaningful and enjoyable than just money. Sure, the money's needed, but the cats add fun, amusement and companionship - all to do with quality of life.
--------------------
Who wants to be a rock anyway?
toujours gai!
Posts: 1309 | From: Here (and occasionally there) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Jonah the Whale
Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244
|
Posted
Here's a site which might appeal to those strange people who don't like cats:
Mr. Johnson
By the way, does anyone know what happened to the esteemed thread starter, Ham'n'Eggs. Is it a sore or touchy point? Is it poor form to ask about that sort of thing? Just wondering.
Cuttle.
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
|
Posted
You must have missed the thread where we talked about this, Cuttle. Due to personal reasons he has chosen to take a break for a while. I am in touch and will pass on your concern. Please PM me if you would like to
--------------------
Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
