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Source: (consider it) Thread: Hell: Cats!
jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Molly? Oh Molly!!

Molly!

Where are you?

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
<Shaking hands with Ariel>

quote:
This is what CorgiGreta said!:
As for a truce with cat lovers, you would be more likely to make an advantageous contract with the devil.

The Devil you say!!!! [Devil]

jj ...waving lightsaber in figure eights...for what ever reason.

Yes, the devil I say. Poor, poor, Judy. You and your misguided little friends have fallen under the spell of the Evil One. Mock me if you must, but you all ignore my warning at the peril of your immortal souls.
Cats are EVIL! They are the servants of Lucifer and will destroy hope you have for salvation.
Do not me fooled by their "cute" outward appearance, nor by their soothing purrs. This is but part of their scheme of deception to lull you to defencelessness before they murder you in your sleep.

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
Cats are EVIL! They are the servants of Lucifer and will destroy hope you have for salvation.

The Rev. Mr. Campbellite...sir! "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus' blood and righteousness..." Even if precious little innocent kitties were servants of that evil being, how could they tear me away from the Bosom of Our Lord??? You should see the hurt in their little, sweet eyes that anyone would even consider them being in cahoots with the evil one. Indeed! There are few creatures so possessed of the very nature of Christ, Himself!

Would you like to borrow one of my kitties, to see for yourself? (No barbequeing or torturing of kitties allowed, of course.)

jj, with great respect for Campbellite, but not turning her back on him.

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Dolphy..I love you! [Sunny] I knew you would warm up to kitties if you just gave them a chance! It takes a big-hearted [Heart] person to admit publicly that they have had a change of heart! (Dolphins are known for their great intelligence.)
Rev. Mr. Campbellite. [Disappointed] Dolphy obtained wisdom on her own. I didn't have to help at all.
jj <giving Dolphy big hugs>

Let's just say that I had a change of heart [Wink] Ok, I admit that I am a dog lover by nature but I really have warmed to some cats... However, not all of them! Not the horrid, long haired, fur-ball excuse for a feline that has moved in two doors down... That's an insult to felines! He's horrid, evil and has been sent from the devil. I really do not appreciate his little gifts of dead mice and poo being deposited in my front garden.

--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Ahhh, there's hope for you yet.

[Snigger]

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Ariel, Dolphy was just speaking truth. Believe it or not, there are cats that even I don't like! Some kitties have bad tempraments, and are just plain rude!

My mother had a cat (Tiffany) that would love on you and purr, then suddenly tear you to shreds with her claws and teeth...out of the blue! She was not a nice cat. I did not like her at all!!

Believe it or not...there are even some people that I don't like!! [Snigger]

Dolphy, you have good taste, trust your instincts...stay away from the bad kitty! [Sunny]

jj

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
My mother had a cat (Tiffany) that would love on you and purr, then suddenly tear you to shreds with her claws and teeth...out of the blue

Yes - that does seem to be a common feline trait. But then it isn't unknown in human beings either, she added sourly.
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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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Nasty naughty kitty, smelly viscious feline.. you are an insult to all things good. (I feel better for that now) I am very cross with it, it is tormenting our wonderful Ginger Tom and picking on him. Even my dog is growling at the aforementioned feline... maybe this cat will have to be cooked in order to save the rest of the wonderful kitties in our street. [Devil]

--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
...Some kitties have bad tempraments, and are just plain rude!
...
jj

Would someone please remove the word "Some" in the above post so that the sentance makes sense?

Thank you
ss

--------------------
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]

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Inanna

Ship's redhead
# 538

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Singing Kitten

--------------------
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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Whatever next?!!! I've seen and heard it all now!!
A singing kitten with blue contact lenses, a harsh shade of lipstick and dreadful teeth!

quote "When I say these words the pain begins to stop" - not here kitty - the pain of your singing voice is too much to cope with.

(Tangent - has anyone else seen the Bacardi Breezer advert here in the UK, the one where the cat has been out on the town and has the lipstick mark on his paw?... Excellent advert, and cute kittie!!!!. Tangent over)

Please protect us from any more singing kittens like that one!!!!!

--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Kit Kat

Shipmate
# 3244

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I have avoided this thread up until now but I think I should keep an eye on you people.

quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:


Cats are EVIL! They are the servants of Lucifer and will destroy hope you have for salvation.
Do not me fooled by their "cute" outward appearance, nor by their soothing purrs. This is but part of their scheme of deception to lull you to defencelessness before they murder you in your sleep.[/QB]

Yes, this thread may offer some opportunities for saintly forgiveness (or suggest other good ideas, such as murder by night)
[Snigger]

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by Dolphy:
Nasty naughty kitty, smelly viscious feline.. <snip>maybe this cat will have to be cooked in order to save the rest of the wonderful kitties in our street. [Devil]

I believe it is common knowledge on this thread that I have recipes and am willing to share. I like mine barbecued slowly over an open pit and served with a nice spicy tomato and vinegar sauce. Shred the cooked cat and mix in the sauce, serve on a bun with cole slaw on top and baked beans on the side.

YUM! [Sunny]

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

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Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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Runs lightly over the safe passageway between the spike pits surrounding the Jedi Temple and gives Campbellite (whom she has sorely missed) a warm hug and kiss.

Reverend and dear Sir, I know you have these recipes, but you know I will never permit you to try them.

I do however, have some yummy pork barbecue. How good to know you favor coleslaw on your sandwich too! Will you join me in a meal? The kitties, are of course, safe with Jedi Judy while we dine.

--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Miss_Molly, would you mind bringing some of that BBQ pork to the Jedi temple after your meal with the Rev. Mr. Campbellite? The kitties and I think it smells divine!

(All of the kitties are here, they are very safe!)

jj

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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Setting the table for her Jedi sister with barbecue, coleslaw, baked beans, buns and fruit salad.

Placing cat-sized helpings of barbecue on little plates for all the kitties.

Bon appetit, dear Judy and sweet kitties!

--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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Threads like this make me want to find the nearest cat and boot it across the road, hurling dishes of coleslaw at its retreating form.

[Disappointed] [Flaming] [Puke] [Snigger]

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Just try it, Ariel! [Devil]

Thanks Molly! That was ***urp*** (excuse me) delicious! Here, I made a Banana Pudding. Would you like some?

After we finish, let's hide the kitties in the temple, then I can show you my new plans for thwarting the evil attempts by these misguided cat-haters.

Don't you just love the word "thwart"? Rolls nicely off the tongue.

jj

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Scot

Deck hand
# 2095

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scot comes in and notices jedijudy, Miss Molly and Campbellite sitting at the table eating - spam cats!?! He quietly goes into the next room and rounds up a dozen felines.

{chomp}

{chomp}

{chomp}

Growing annoyed with the fur in his fangs, scot decides to follow Sarkycow's advice. He gathers up the remaining nine cats and heads down to the lava pit.

--------------------
“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson

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sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Don't you just love the word "thwart"? Rolls nicely off the tongue.

jj

That is also what it sounds like when you drop-kick the cat across the road. [Big Grin] [Wink] [Razz]

--------------------
Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]

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Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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Scot, you would not have "fur" on your fangs if you would brush them occasionally.

In trying to leave the Jedi Temple with the cats, he does not notice the thin wire placed at neck height. He runs right into it, dropping the kitties and nearly decapitating himself. Fortunately, the denizens of hell have remarkable healing properties. After a brief rest in the Temple's dispensary, Jedi Judy and I guide him safely to the outer world and reset all protective devices.

--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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What can this be at my feet? It looks just like a football with fur.
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Kit Kat

Shipmate
# 3244

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Nice work mm and jj!
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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jj, I only arranged a truce with you. This isn't one of your furballs.

Anyone feel like a game of football? We just have to lob it in between the pillars of the jedi temple to score. [Devil]

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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Miss Molly [Not worthy!] and jj [Yipee] I have some more food for us all here, if I would be allowed to join in your little feast... I have also brought along my favourite ginger tom (and my little dog too who has promised to keep guard over those mates who are anti-cats)... Shall I pour the wine?....

--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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But of course, dearest cetacean shipmate! And Jessie is most welcome, along with Brandy. Ariel, I believe what you have there is a toy that Scot, unable to hurt our kitties, bought to assuage his frustration. We would enjoy watching your punting technique.

--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

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Equinas
Shipmate
# 2907

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Is it potluck? I make a mean Chicken Marsala. Sharkshooter sent over some prime chicken cuts and I whipped it up, should be delicious. Funny-looking chicken, though...hmmm. [Eek!]

--------------------
Linda

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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Riddle for the day:

How do you make a cat go, "woof!"

Douse it in gasoline and toss it into the fireplace.

"Whoof!"

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Molly:
Ariel, I believe what you have there is a toy that Scot, unable to hurt our kitties, bought to assuage his frustration.

Nope, it looks quite real to me. Here goes!

quote:
We would enjoy watching your punting technique.
Ah, punting is a delightful pastime. My technique is to recline gracefully on cushions, clad in an impractical white outfit, sipping champagne, while a series of attractive, witty and obliging men guide the boat gently downstream. Far more fun to watch others who have not got this technique as they propel the boat vigorously in a zigzag fashion into each bank alternately, swearing as they go, and standing at the wrong end of the punt.

It was until recently fashionable in certain circles to bring a dog, which would usually leap into the river then come back and shake itself dry over the occupants of the punt, but never a cat. I can recommend punting as a cat-free pastime.

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jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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Ariel, I think you've actually gotten hold of Miss_Molly's Freddie. He is very real-looking, I agree. (I think you can see his picture in All Saints.) It is a very easy mistake to make.

I am so grateful for all the dishes y'all brought to the pot-luck! The kitties are enjoying a taste with their kibble. May I have another glass of wine, Dolphy?

Ship's Cat, as the only one of the kitties presently posting on the boards, you may want to join us on the fact-finding mission we will be going on shortly. In that way, you can interpret correctly to the other kitties in the temple. Miss_Molly will go over the details with you. See that man with the Groucho glasses on? Stay away from him! He will try to distract you from your duties, and may infact... ahem...eat you. The man who looks like Moses and shoots sharks is also bad news. Be wary!

<Takes all cat lovers to secret meeting place where new and improved cat-protection devices will be distributed and plans discussed.>

jj...the ever vigilant

--------------------
ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

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Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
<Takes all cat lovers to secret meeting place where new and improved cat-protection devices will be distributed and plans discussed.>

jj...the ever vigilant

Just as a point of clarification, dearest JJ, but are not cats well and truly equipped with "protection devices" of their own? It seems to me that, unless they have been forcibly mutilated, they are armed with both claws and fangs? (Not unlike the esteemed Tomb, though minus scales.) Their Father Below has provided well for their defence.

Were this not so, there would be no sport in hunting, capturing and cooking them. No one hunts guinea pigs as they are ill equipped to fight back. It is that very quality of feistyness that makes it a sport!

<recipe note>
Kitty Cacciatori

Fillet kitty, place in baking dish and cover with crushed tomatoes, chopped black olives, chopped onion, lemon juice, basil, oregano, and parsley. Bake in 425F oven for 45 minutes or until no longer pink. Goes well with chianti and an orzo side dish.

Mangia!
</recipe note>

--------------------
I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
What can this be at my feet? It looks just like a football with fur.

Thank you for acquainting me with the English punting technique, one involving champagne, impractical outfits and young men. Hmm, this appears to be closely related to another ritual, a wedding. One doesn't usually see cats at weddings either as they sometimes laugh at what we humans consider inopportune times.

The punting I was referring to was the technique of kicking a football between the goal posts. Hence my desire to clarify that no real cat is involved here. I would appreciate cautious use of Freddie as well.

The 'possum marsala was quite interesting.

How kind of the Reverend Campbellite to amuse a sick woman by stirring her to respond to mythical recipes! Again, reverend and very dear sir, you know I will never permit you to use such a recipe.

Cats are, thanks to a beneficent Creator, equipped with claws and teeth. They have been the valiant defenders of our homes and granaries from the rodent population for thousands of years, employing these weapons to safeguard us. You may remember my mentioning the huge rat Belle dispatched, diminishing the risk of Hanta virus to our household.

--------------------
"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

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Equinas
Shipmate
# 2907

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Possum Marsala, of course! I'm so relieved...

--------------------
Linda

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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Molly:
I would appreciate cautious use of Freddie as well.

Don't worry, Freddie is fine and shall be left alone. Who needs a toy cat when you can play football with a real one?

(Boots it through the pillars of the temple, where it bounces and then drops into a deep dark hole never to be seen again)

Goal! Anyone else up for it? There are plenty more roaming around.

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CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443

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Perhaps we can introduce a new sport by combining punting with football. A punt can be anchored in the deep part of a river. Contestants gather at the shore and attempt to punt cats into the punt. Jolly good sport!

Greta

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CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443

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The Most Reverend Dr. Campbellite,

I tried your recipe, and it was quite delicious. I modified it a bit however by adding lots of garlic. After all these years, I still can't get used to the rather bitter taste of cat meat, and the garlic masks it quite effectively. Also, I find it extremely loathsome to touch a cat, dead or alive, so I used a whole cat. I think it makes for a very lovely presentation (especially with an apple in its mouth), and someone can have the great honor of carving the animal.

Also, my dogs enjoy knawing on the bones afterward, and it keeps their teeth nice and clean.

Greta

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
May I have another glass of wine, Dolphy?

Of course you may jj - there's no need to ask.

I have some kittie snacks for all the wonderful cats here, and Jessie is keeping an eye out for anyone else who dares to try and cook any cats... She assures me that she will turn into a killer dog if anyone harms the little fluffy mew mews.

--------------------
Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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quote:
Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
Jolly good sport!

Greta

Time to call your punt (as in Amverican football style i.e. drop cat from shoulder height, kick with heavily booted foot).

Over the bleachers, off the lamp-post, through the up-rights ... 3 points!

Your turn.

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]

Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
jedijudy*

Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059

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quote:
Originally posted by Campbellite:
Just as a point of clarification, dearest JJ, but are not cats well and truly equipped with "protection devices" of their own? It seems to me that, unless they have been forcibly mutilated, they are armed with both claws and fangs? (Not unlike the esteemed Tomb, though minus scales.) Their Father Below has provided well for their defence.> snip

Dearest Reverend Mr. Campbellite, alas! The protection our Heavenly Father provided to our sweet kitties is very helpful in certain matters, however humans are far better equipped and able to overcome and avoid the small defenses of cats. Indeed, as you are well aware, my precious Jasmine has never used her teeth or claws against any human.

Ergo, we must needs assist our small charges. Unfortunately, as highly esteemed as you, Sharkshooter, Ariel and CorgiGreta (and others) are among us, we will not permit any punting of any kind, BBQing or harm of any nature to the kitties.

I'm sure you will understand.

Respectfully,
jj

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ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.

Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Miss_Molly

Toujours gai
Beloved
# 2339

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Attempting, not too successfully, to restrain Jessie. Finally throws herself between Sharkshooter and the dog, shielding him with her body.

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"I come from a state that raises corn, and cockleburrs and Democrats, and frothy eloquence neither convinces nor satisfies me. I am from Missouri. You have got to show me"

Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver at a naval banquet in Philadelphia, 1899

Posts: 1242 | From: home | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
The Most Reverend Dr. Campbellite,

I tried your recipe, and it was quite delicious. I modified it a bit however by adding lots of garlic.

You are quite right, Greta. I was most remiss in omitting the garlic. I was writing it down from memory and inadvertently left it out.

quote:
Also, I find it extremely loathsome to touch a cat, dead or alive, so I used a whole cat. I think it makes for a very lovely presentation (especially with an apple in its mouth), and someone can have the great honor of carving the animal.

Also, my dogs enjoy knawing on the bones afterward, and it keeps their teeth nice and clean.

Greta

Yes, served whole it does make a lovely presentation, but you may find that you must add to the cooking time. This is the advantage of cutting it into cubes. I would also suggest covering the whole cat with aluminium foil to prevent the skin from over cooking before the inside is done.

I will rummage through my cook books and see if I can find that recipe for stir fry kitty.

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Campbellite

Ut unum sint
# 1202

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quote:
Originally posted by Dolphy:
She assures me that she will turn into a killer dog if anyone harms the little fluffy mew mews.

"fluffy..mew..mews"???

I am trying to form a mental picture of this. Ah yes! I have it!

It's a formless Hawaiian dress made of feathers! A fluffy MuMu!

Why on earth would anyone want to harm a dress, however tasteless?

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I upped mine. Up yours.
Suffering for Jesus since 1966.
WTFWED?

Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by Miss_Molly:
Attempting, not too successfully, to restrain Jessie. Finally throws herself between Sharkshooter and the dog, shielding him with her body.

So sorry Molly, Jessie got carried away there! I suppose we do have to protect these shipmates no matter what their feline views are! [Wink] jj, worry not, all the little kitties are quite safe. Jessie is back on guard!

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
sharkshooter

Not your average shark
# 1589

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Thank you, Molly and Dolphy, for your concern for my well-being. Alas, it was not necessary. I could have punted the dog, too (they just don't usually go as far).

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Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer. [Psalm 19:14]

Posts: 7772 | From: Canada; Washington DC; Phoenix; it's complicated | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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quote:
Originally posted by jedijudy:
Unfortunately, as highly esteemed as you, Sharkshooter, Ariel and CorgiGreta (and others) are among us, we will not permit any punting of any kind, BBQing or harm of any nature to the kitties.

I will jolly well punt in any way I see fit if I feel like it. If I choose to spend my afternoons drifting down the river at a leisurely pace, you are not going to stop me. I don't care who you think you are. And if any cats, or cat owners, leap into my punt in a warlike or appallingly cute and winsome manner, I shall not hesitate to brain them with the punt pole and then throw them overboard. I will then moor somewhere further down the bank and if I feel like a barbecue I shall have one with whatever I feel like barbecuing at the time, whether it is cats, cows, goats, frogs, toads, bats or shipmates I don't like. So there.

(Propels six more cats through the pillars of the Jedi temple into a bubbling lava pit. Because I can.)

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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Jessie - go fetch the kitties and make sure they are all ok.

Molly, jj, Smudgie.... need your help here!!!

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

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AntiCats 8 - ProCats 0.

[Snigger]

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
J Whitgift

Pro ecclesia dei!
# 1981

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[Mad] Cats [Mad]

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On the issue of homosexuality the Liberals have spent their time thinking, considering and listening (in the spirit of the Windsor process), whereas Conservative Anglicans have used the time to further dig their feet in and become more intransigent.

Posts: 2838 | From: Gone shoreside | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443

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Dolphy,

I'm afraid that your dog is exhibiting the classic symptoms of catatonia, an extreme form of psychosis usually only seen in humans who own cats.

The aggression, babbling nonsense, identity confusion, and use of deranged cat-like noises are straight out of a psychopathology textbook. There is little hope for humans (and even less for dogs) afflicted with this disorder. The key to cure generally involves reviving a normal hatred for the wretched beasts. Punting, poking, pitching, hunting, cooking, and cursing cats are often useful treatments.

Greta

Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443

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The Most Reverend and Honorable Dr. Campbellite,

Would you happen to have a good Thai recipe? I have several Siamese cats in the freezer.

Greta

Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged



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