|
Source: (consider it)
|
Thread: Hell: Embarrassing Gagging
|
blackbird
Shipmate
# 1387
|
Posted
when i first moved to new hampshire, my 10 year old neighbor used to sing "tomorrow" over and over. then she got a tape recorder and played a tape of herself singing it over and over. then she developed tourette's syndrome. i, for one, was not surprised.
"monster's ball" was vile.
"signs" ![[Razz]](tongue.gif) stupid! stupid! stupid!
Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
mysticlisa
Ship's seer
# 2867
|
Posted
Just about anything with Richard Gere... What is the attraction that so many women seem to have to him??? The man has a knack for picking boring scripts and making the roles even more tedious. For a list see http://www.geocities.com/futurama00/film.htm
--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Posts: 483 | From: my laptop | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Cusanus
Ship's Schoolmaster
# 692
|
Posted
quote:
I'm going to throw down the gauntlet and say how much I loathed Dead Poets' Society. The kid kills himself because he can't be in a play (or whatever dumb ass reason it was)? I say the world is better off!
I'm with you and all the Dead Poet haters on the Ship. that kid was stupid for topping himself and Robin Williams' character was also culpable. Ick.
I also reckon that the presence of Kevin Costner in any movie is an indicator that's going to be a shocker. Not only the obvious ones like Waterworld and Robin Hood, but selfindulgent crap and faux mysticism like Field of Dreams and Dances with Camera. The only vaguely good thing he's ever been in is A Perfect World and my theory is that there the presence of St Clint outweighs the presence of Costner.
--------------------
"You are qualified," sa fotherington-tomas, "becos you can frankly never pass an exam and have 0 branes. Obviously you will be a skoolmaster - there is no other choice."
Posts: 3120 | From: The Peninsula | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
About John Wayne: I know I told this story fairly recently, but this is the perfect arena for it. Someone told me that after hearing John Wayne deliver the line once, the director told him to put more "awe" into it. So on the next take Wayne says, "Ah, truly he was the son of God."
Admiral: I also hated AI (was ready to yell "Just end already!" at the screen at least three times), and was irritated with the way U571 distorted history. Just because Jesus was American doesn't mean all the good guys have to be American.
I must object to the inclusion here of Kevin Costner's Robin Hood - Alan Rickman in a medieval rockabilly haircut makes it all worthwhile. And I love Costner's attempts at a British accent. My best friend and I went around for weeks imitating him: "They have aaah-maaaah, Paaaaaul?" for "They have armor, Paul?"
Presleyterian: I'm with you on The Robe - gotta love the 1950s bras holding up (and slightly outward) the chicks' bazooms under the oh-so-authentic costuming.
One last thing: it is a point of pride with me that I have never seen ET.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Willyburger
Ship's barber
# 658
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RooK:
The penultimate spleen-splitter definitely has to go to "Mission To Mars". I'm not sure if that piece of crap managed to miss any realm of hard science to fuck up. There's a more accurate representation of physics in Road Runner cartoons. My eight-year-old nephew with attention-defecit syndrome has a better understanding of genetics. Bishop Samuel Wilberforce could have presented a better understanding of the theory of evolution.
Dammit. Now I need to wipe the spittle off my screen...
I dunno. I think "Red Planet" ranks right down there with it. Especially the scene where he is cannabalizing an old probe and pulls a PC modem out of it. Although, Carrie-Ann Moss in a tight t-shirt doing that gratuitous overhead switch-snapping scene was worth the watch. ![[Devil]](graemlins/devil.gif)
[Code tidied while-u-wait]
[ 14 August 2002, 11:28: Message edited by: sarkycow ]
--------------------
Willy, Unix Bigot, Esq.
--
Why is it that every time I go out to buy bookshelves, I come home with more books?
Posts: 835 | From: Arizona, US | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by RuthW:
I must object to the inclusion here of Kevin Costner's Robin Hood - Alan Rickman in a medieval rockabilly haircut makes it all worthwhile.
Yep. Only good thing about the film.
quote:
One last thing: it is a point of pride with me that I have never seen ET.
I haven't either. The little bug was enough to put me off going to the cinema, and a lot of other trailers have put me off going to see a lot of the films mentioned above. The ET character recently resurfaced in some sickening TV commercials ("ET, phone home!") where he coos lovingly at the small boy who is his friend, cocks his head on one side, and simpers with big eyes at the camera. Aahh.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Willyburger
Ship's barber
# 658
|
Posted
quote:
....Alan Rickman in a medieval rockabilly haircut....
Would that make it a Medieval Mullet? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
--------------------
Willy, Unix Bigot, Esq.
--
Why is it that every time I go out to buy bookshelves, I come home with more books?
Posts: 835 | From: Arizona, US | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
ej
Shipmate
# 2259
|
Posted
I see my preferences are in good company here ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Generally anything that wins an Oscar and is over 2 hours long I refuse to see... (Not sure why, but it's worked for me so far! - Probably says more about my refusal to follow the lemmings..)
'Shallow Hal' - hideous piece of bollocky trollop, thinly veiled as an attempt to be positive about body image when all it was was one big fat-joke.
'Event Horizon' - worse sci-fi movie I ever had to endure... bizarre, senseless, idiotic.. I don't care if Dustin Hoffman was in it either...
Anyone remember Krull? That was an awful piece of work... Horseriding and interdimensional travel in the same movie... trippy.
And of course anything with Meg Ryan in it instantly has me calling the great white porcelain God... I felt like slapping her in "When a man loves a woman"
--------------------
For my next trick I shall turn this water into funk...
...a little breathing-space...
Posts: 426 | From: Melbourne, Australia | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
FCB
Hillbilly Thomist
# 1495
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ej:
And of course anything with Meg Ryan in it instantly has me calling the great white porcelain God... I felt like slapping her in "When a man loves a woman"
Hear, hear! Do you think we could all chip in and come up with a payoff big enough to bribe Meg into never making another movie?
FCB
--------------------
Agent of the Inquisition since 1982.
Posts: 2928 | From: that city in "The Wire" | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
|
Posted
I know I'm putting a large target on me, but I did start this thread, so I'm allowed to.
I LIKE DEAD POETS SOCIETY. So stop slagging it off. Or at least do it on your own thread. Thank you.
Disney cartoons are SO ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) , as they always have the same plot. The only differences ( and sops to the original stories that they are killing ) are the clothes and the background. Sound of music pretty ![[Puke]](graemlins/puke.gif) , although having read the original ( true ) story, makes it more so.
--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
likeness
Shipmate
# 2773
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by MarkthePunk:
The second Austin Powers movie. (I have blessedly forgotten the name.)
No "shag" jokes here, then.
I avoided The Wedding Planner but hear it's truly grim.
Attack of the Clones for its appalling, cod-Kurosawa plot (with lots of bits missing).
Dead Poets Society. A boy commits suicide and I thought it uproariously funny. Something seriously amiss there - but not with me, I suspect.
Captain Corelli's Mandolin. The only film ever to be made about the fab island of Keffalonia - and it stank.
Anything "directed" (I use the term loosely) by Roland Emmerich.
quote:
Originally posted by Nica:
Starship Troopers, Armageddon
and everything that just remotely resembles Pretty Woman
With you on Armaggedon (a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing - the ultimate, dumbed down Hollywood action movie) and the execrable Pretty Woman. How exactly do Starship Troopers and Armageddon remotely resemble Pretty Woman though? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
Most Oscar winners and anything worthy.
Anything with Julia Roberts (but I liked Erin Brockovich - gosh, did that win an Oscar?)
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
[tangent]
"My goodness, that spider-thing just ate Diane! Do you think that's why it died?
What could we say? It's not often you see aliens consuming your relatives on TV.[/tangent]
Not often enough, I fear. Would liven up films no end. Dead Poets' Society, for instance.
quote:
Originally posted by tomb:
[tangent]On a more uplifting note, so to speak, another of my wife's cousins writes screenplays, collaborated on The Runaway Bride, and is on a first-name basis with Julia Roberts. Memo to self: must cultivate this relationship assiduously. I haven't seen the film because it's on my retch and pitch list, but would love to meet JR.
[/tangent]
Tomb, you might be less keen after seeing Runaway Bride. It's bad even by JR standards.
As to Jesus' accent, admirers of St.Martin's film The Last Temptation Of Christ know that Jesus did, of course, come from Noo Yawk.
Worst film of all time? Organ (Japanese thriller about organ thieves) which makes no narrative sense whatever.
Thumbs up however for What About Bob?, Dumb and Dumber, Castaway (best ever performance by a volleyball), Starship Troopers and Mimic (even if the ending was stupid). Loved all five.
--------------------
The eye is the lamp of the body.
Posts: 464 | From: No. 43 | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
|
Posted
Amos and Pres - I had never heard of Sing Along with the Sound of Music. It sounds hilarious.
Yes, I was a singer and costume designer, and I actually appeared in two productions of that dreadful show (a fledgling singer has to take what she can get.) Once, I played the Mother Abbess (the director wisely wanted an operatic singer for that part), and I felt like an absolute fool with that "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" Next time, I was the Baroness.
The orchestra conductor for the first production also was a professor in a Catholic university, and invited the nuns from the school to attend the first performance. In the scene where the troubled Maria, who has run from the villa, is asked if she is in love with the Captain, responds that she felt ready to make her vows at that moment, the group of perhaps 60 nuns burst into uncontrollable laughter. I think they got the idea...
--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Qestia
Marshwiggle
# 717
|
Posted
Re: Mimic, I saw it on video, and the box sported the phrase "starring Academy award winners F. Murray Abraham and Mira Sorvino", which made me laugh all the way through the film. Sometimes I still walk around saying "meester funny shoes".
Re: Event Horizon--it made me cry! I now avoid movies that may take place in the Dimension of Evil. It really scared me, for some reason. Maybe because some woman in the audience had brought 2 single-digit aged children to see it.
Re: people starting a thread about things that make them gag and then getting mad when one of the things that makes people gag is a movie the thread starter liked:
![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
--------------------
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.
Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
J Whitgift
Pro ecclesia dei!
# 1981
|
Posted
Well all these films make me cringe/ :
Scooby Doo
Spiderman
Starwars II: Attack of the Clones
The Never Ending Story
Flight of the Navigator
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
Robin Hood Men in Tights
Blues Brothers II
12 Monkeys
Titanic (major especially the music, worse than Enya! )
etc etc etc
I do like 'Dead Poets Society', or I did, as I haven't seen it since it came out about 15 years ago.
--------------------
On the issue of homosexuality the Liberals have spent their time thinking, considering and listening (in the spirit of the Windsor process), whereas Conservative Anglicans have used the time to further dig their feet in and become more intransigent.
Posts: 2838 | From: Gone shoreside | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Xavierite
Shipmate
# 2575
|
Posted
![[Eek!]](eek.gif) I must protest!
Spiderman was superb! Enya still is!
Superman, on the other hand, is just one big from beginning to end.
"Oh Superman, you're so great..."
(Smilies will be the death of literate civilisation. ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif) )
Posts: 2307 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Merseymike
Shipmate
# 3022
|
Posted
Also like Dead Poets Society.
I HATE science fiction. ALL of it. Maybe its just be , but the very appearance of an alien or an astronaut is enough to provoke
Forrest Gump is so, so, horrid. I think it was on the Michael Moore prog that I heard this but apparently a good number of US Republicans thought it was a documentary, and most of them are gun owners.
--------------------
Christianity is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be experienced
Posts: 3360 | From: Walked the plank | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
homerj
Shipmate
# 324
|
Posted
"Strictly Ballroom" has the dubious honour of being the only film that has helped me fall asleep on a plane, to tired even to...
Even "Crossroads" didn't do that, although i did start to eat my own foot by the mid point of that one... ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif)
can't remember the name of it, but another recently (also on a plane, there must be a ruke that they can only put really naff films on) was about a girl who kept secrets 'cos she'd been adopted (oops, is that a spoiler ?) maybe it was called "secrets" or something, anyway, it had me fondly remembering Crossroads...
--------------------
The grass is only greener on the other side of the fence because it is pissing it down with rain over there
Posts: 304 | From: slipping into Essex | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Callan
Shipmate
# 525
|
Posted
On the subject of aircraft films, a friend of mine dragged me along to see Entrapment. Which he was forced to concede was very bad indeed (and not nearly as good as 'Cruel Intentions' which I had dragged him along to see a few weeks previously).
Imagine his chagrin then, a week later on a flight to the states when the aircraft movie came on and the opening titles from Entrapment rolled...
On a related note (what is it with Catherine Zeta Jones exactly?) a friend of mine watching Zorro, bitterly observed, as Anthony Hopkins died in CZJ's arms "marry him Catherine, he's old enough to be your husband".
--------------------
How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
I loved Strictly Ballroom too. I guess I love all the movies everybody hates.
pssssttt: and I am a big Meg Ryan fan. I want to look like her...I want her hair!
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Qestia
Marshwiggle
# 717
|
Posted
Strictly Ballroom was a satiric masterpiece! Even my husband thought it was hilarious. I suppose you didn't "get" Best of Show, either?
--------------------
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.
Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
|
Posted
Now, I am going to reveal my stupidity and lack of artistic sense to all and sundry. A few years ago, I rented the video "Citizen Kane," because, on Amazon.com, I had seen all sorts of laudatory remarks about its being the best film in history. I thought it was the most boring, confusing, anti climactic film I'd seen.
I've seen worse films than "Titanic" (not too many), and must say that some of the special effects caught one's eye in a theatre. But I think it was telling that, though mostly children were watching, they tended to burst into laughter when, though it had been established that no one could survive more than a few minutes in that frigid water, Jack and Rose spent a far longer time running through it!
Thank you, Nunc - I'd mentioned Dickens in general and Scrooge, but forgot "Oliver!". What could have been more fun than being an uncharacteristically young and attractive East End prostitute? (I wonder why, later, Jack the Ripper found mostly ill, prematurely aged, destitute women in their 40s?) Bumble and the others (other than paupers) in the workhouse were just too funny! Fagin's house was an enormously delightful place. Not that Dickens' original did not have a deficiency here and there, but removing the sordid qualities and replacing them with musical comedy songs has more than a minor flaw...
--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Clíona
Shipmate
# 2035
|
Posted
Am I allowed post here, even though I started that quote:
increasingly nauseous thread in heaven?
I will brave it, as Schroedinger's Cat admits to being a DPS fan.
Forrest Gump is probably the most over-rated film I've ever seen. Definitely one for ! The same goes for Pretty Woman. I'd like to add that there are many songs that have the same effect, in particular those sung by Ronan Keating, Westlife, Garreth Gates et al...Rubbish, the lot of them!
--------------------
Starting (yet) again...
Posts: 1262 | From: Back in Dublin | Registered: Dec 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Schroedinger's cat
Ship's cool cat
# 64
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Clíona:
Am I allowed post here, even though I started that quote:
increasingly nauseous thread in heaven?
I will brave it, as Schroedinger's Cat admits to being a DPS fan.
Note I said "increasingly" - it has gone downhil since you started it ...
And I agree with Ronan Keating - I'm feeling ill just thinking about him.
--------------------
Blog
Music for your enjoyment
Lord may all my hard times be healing times
take out this broken heart and renew my mind.
Posts: 18859 | From: At the bottom of a deep dark well. | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Merseymike
Shipmate
# 3022
|
Posted
I don't feel ill thinking about Ronan Keating...... ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
--------------------
Christianity is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be experienced
Posts: 3360 | From: Walked the plank | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Equinas
Shipmate
# 2907
|
Posted
The Jack and Rose love story in Titanic I couldn't have cared less about, but I liked the movie anyway. It conveyed loss, horror, greed, cowardice, selflessness and grace under extreme circumstances, plus illustrating the folly of declaring anything we make indestructable. I left the theater thinking of those who perished and those who survived for a long time afterwards and pretty much forgot about the ficticious Jack and Rose.
--------------------
Linda
Posts: 567 | From: Deep South, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Xavierite
Shipmate
# 2575
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Equinas:
The Jack and Rose love story in Titanic I couldn't have cared less about, but I liked the movie anyway. It conveyed loss, horror, greed, cowardice, selflessness and grace under extreme circumstances, plus illustrating the folly of declaring anything we make indestructable. I left the theater thinking of those who perished and those who survived for a long time afterwards and pretty much forgot about the ficticious Jack and Rose.
In my case, it elicited feelings of loss (good money spent on a ticket) and horror (that such an atrocious film could be so successful, and have so much spent on it.)
On the question of "greed", however, I agree. Cameron's work conveys it in abundance.
Posts: 2307 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Equinas
Shipmate
# 2907
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Jesuitical Lad:
In my case, it elicited feelings of loss (good money spent on a ticket) and horror (that such an atrocious film could be so successful, and have so much spent on it.)
On the question of "greed", however, I agree. Cameron's work conveys it in abundance.
I suppose he did make a lot of money on it, but then, it cost a lot to make in the first place. I wonder if film makers prefer this reaction to this ![[Snore]](graemlins/snore.gif) ?
--------------------
Linda
Posts: 567 | From: Deep South, USA | Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
|
Posted
Ah, yes indeed, the references to movies on planes (they definitely have a rule about showing the worst) and Titanic.
On a trans-atlantic flight with the members of my daughter's early-adolescent female chorus, we were treated to "The Man in the Iron Mask" starring the infamous Mr. DiCaprio. To be trapped in 747 without a single empty seat and have to watch such a total lack of acting ability while listening to the swoons and sighs of a bunch of thirteen-somethings.
[Oh, Rook, I am so happy to find someone else who didn't like the Wizard of Oz as a child!]
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
duchess
Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
|
Posted
Leo DiCaprio looked like a 12 year old boy in that movie (Titantic) just couldn't get past that.
--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
|
Posted
Oh, yes, films one sees on a flight! I remember one, a recent "Little Women," which I saw under those circumstances. I believe the setting was c. 1860, but, as just one example, the daughter who has a chance for her first silk dress is up in arms over the treatment of garment workers in China....
I must say that the absolutely worst film I saw during a flight was "Simply Annie Mary." Mostly misery (father very ill, a child dying, a lost business), ridiculous comedy such as Annie Mary "levitating" when she wore an inflated rubber suit to impersonate Pavarotti in a show, and it was mistakenly inflated with helium.
--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
|
Posted
How could I forget. I must have blotted this one from my memory. The excruciating Mr Bean. Squirm time.
Hell would consist of a hot, stuffy cinema with a fidgety six foot man right in front of me exchanging little kisses and comments with his girlfriend throughout, three children kicking my seat from behind, and a special three hour showing of Mr Bean.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Lifeman
Troll
# 579
|
Posted
One film that really must be listed as unpardonable is 'The Patriot' starring Mel Gibson.
This film is worthy of note for heavily fictionalising real events in a not dissimilar way to the infamous 'U571' :-
1) The 'British' forces in the American War of Independence were to a fair extent made up of German units - you no more see Germans in this film that you see Brits or Canadians in 'Saving Private Ryan'.
2) The British are depicted as behaving like Nazi's burning civilians alive in a barn. I don't believe that this ever happened; it is documented that the Nazi's did do this to civilians in Ruusia. Could this be because the director of this film was German.
3) The British army down the ages has generally been very efficient. I think it unlikely that Mel Gibson and his two young sons could hold off a regiment single handed.
I think it is a pity that 'The Patriot' was such a bad film because the British regime of George III was appalling in the way it determined to govern America and a well made, acurate film about how the British were kicked out would be welcomed by me as much as anyone (I enjoyed 'Braveheart' and 'Michael Collins', neither of which put England in a good light).
Posts: 746 | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Second Mouse
Citizen of Grand Fenwick
# 2793
|
Posted
Just posted on the embarrasing tears thread in Heaven, so I'm here to put myself back in a more cynical frame of mind.
Pretty much anything with Hugh Grant in. For goodness sake, man, stop being so wet and standing round looking uncomfortable. And get your fringe cut, ![[Flaming]](graemlins/angryfire.gif) Stop flicking it about. He ruined an otherwise very good Jane Austen adaptation, because just the sight of him made me start to growl. (Do mice growl? This one does.)
The Littlest Hobo, and Gentle Ben.
And another vote for the second Austin Powers film. Especially annoying because the first was so funny, so I had high expectations.
Second Mouse
Posts: 1254 | From: West Yorkshire | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Callan
Shipmate
# 525
|
Posted
Originally posted by Lifeman:
quote:
(I enjoyed 'Braveheart' and 'Michael Collins', neither of which put England in a good light).
Braveheart was unspeakably ghastly. It bore so little reality to history I expected Sean Connery to turn up and tell Mel Gibson "Ye cannae die McLeod, ye are immortal".
Although the casting of Patrick McGoohan as Hannibal Lecter, er, Edward I was amusing. I kept hoping that a herald would announce:
"All rise for King Edward I"
only to be told
"I am not a number, I am a free man".
Come to think of it we should all be grateful that Mel Gibson did not address the future king of Scotland with the words "G'day Bruce".
--------------------
How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Gamaliel
Shipmate
# 812
|
Posted
So Braveheart was good, was it Lifeman?
Nah!
The real story of Wallace's struggle against the English would have made a far better movie. Why they had to muck about with it, I don't know.
I've not seen 'Michael Collins' but I gather there was similar exaggeration in that ... when in fact the actual story is sufficiently dramatic and interesting in and of itself.
I'm all for Brit'-bashing movies, provided they're done with a degree of aplomb. I'm Welsh so perfidious Albion deserves a good cinematic kicking from time to time. Saying that, the liberties taken by Mel Gibson etc simply for the sake of the Yankee Dollar ... ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
We're all supposed to treat the Americans with kid gloves since 9/11. And quite right too, but I quite like to scoff at their misdemeanours rather than seeing them glamourised in 'Black Hawk Down' or whatever it was ...
Phil
--------------------
Let us with a gladsome mind
Praise the Lord for He is kind.
http://philthebard.blogspot.com
Posts: 15997 | From: Cheshire, UK | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Newman's Own
Shipmate
# 420
|
Posted
I've seen far worse films, but the discussion of Braveheart reminded me of "Lady Jane" with Helena Bonham Carter, given the common "distortion of history" element. The circumstances of Jane's life and brief reign are so distorted as to make the book verge on the farcical. Whatever factors there were in Jane's situation, no part of it was in any way a "love story." The depiction of the madly romancing couple managing all sorts of reforms (for example, "their shilling" - and, while Jane did not found schools, the thought of schools where children would be cherished being run by her father, of all people, is fantasy beyond Puck) within a matter of a week practically reduces Jane's story to camp.
It was not a poor film, but I did feel disappointed at Shadowlands. Not too bad... unless one knew much about C. S. Lewis.
--------------------
Cheers,
Elizabeth
“History as Revelation is seldom very revealing, and histories of holiness are full of holes.” - Dermot Quinn
Posts: 6740 | From: Library or pub | Registered: Jun 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scots lass
Shipmate
# 2699
|
Posted
Perfect Storm was incredibly bad and I had to sit through it on a bus THREE TIMES!! Everybody died, how can they possibly know what happened?!
Braveheart was also bad for being totally inaccurate history that everybody now thinks is true.
I had the bright idea of going to see the Avengers film, absolutely awful.
Pretty much anything with small children being cute and reuniting their families/dogs/whatever is nauseating. As are those "Inspirational" life stories that get made into TV movies.
Posts: 863 | From: the diaspora | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
likeness
Shipmate
# 2773
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Newman's Own:
I must say that the absolutely worst film I saw during a flight was "Simply Annie Mary." Mostly misery (father very ill, a child dying, a lost business)...
Yes, terrible. Should have had it on my list. The sort of British film that epitomises everything I hate about British movies. Couldn't make up its mind what it wanted to be and kept changing gear.
--------------------
The eye is the lamp of the body.
Posts: 464 | From: No. 43 | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Qestia:
Strictly Ballroom was a satiric masterpiece!
I did enjoy that film. The toothpaste grins and the fantastically big hair! Wonderful.
It was just so full of cliches. A truly inspiring tale of love, dance and Cuban heels.
I saw something about the making of the film. At one stage the girl's granny is thumping out the beat on the guy's chest. But she couldn't actually keep the rhythm. There is an assistant patting her on the bum, to keep her temp right.
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Phil Williams:
We're all supposed to treat the Americans with kid gloves since 9/11.
Oh, please. As if the US-bashing ever lets up around here.
quote:
And quite right too, but I quite like to scoff at their misdemeanours rather than seeing them glamourised in 'Black Hawk Down' or whatever it was ...
The movie was based on a book written by a reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer. Having read it, I can assure you that it does not glamorize the debacle in Mogadishu. Here's the New York Times review of the book (you'll have to register for the site, but it's free): NY Times review of "Black Hawk Down" (book)
I didn't see the movie, but the reviews I read said it was a straightforward, non-heroic portrayal of what happened. Here's one review: Roger Ebert's review of "Black Hawk Down" (movie)
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
|
Posted
Thank you, Professor Yaffle. You reminded me of the unquestionably worst movie of all time - Highlander 2: The Quickening. Roger Ebert said that it was "the most hilariously incomprehensible movie ... almost awesome in its badness." It was so bad that a radically re-edited "Renegade Version" was later released in which the plot was completely changed.
By the way Merseymike, I am a sci-fi-loving, registered-Republican, US gun owner and I thought your comment was a cheap shot which was out of place, if not out of character.
scot
--------------------
“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Moo
Ship's tough old bird
# 107
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
[Oh, Rook, I am so happy to find someone else who didn't like the Wizard of Oz as a child!]
I saw that movie when I was four years old, and it terrified me.
I had an idea about what was supposed to be alive and what wasn't. Seeing the Scarecrow and the Tin Man moving and talking was very frightening for me.
If I had gone with an adult I would have asked to leave. Since I was with some slightly older children I didn't say anything. I was afraid they would call me a baby.
I had nightmares for years afterward.
Moo
--------------------
Kerygmania host
---------------------
See you later, alligator.
Posts: 20365 | From: Alleghany Mountains of Virginia | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Merseymike
Shipmate
# 3022
|
Posted
Scot : should I cogratulate you for being willing to admit to it, or recommend therapy?
--------------------
Christianity is not a problem to be solved, but a mystery to be experienced
Posts: 3360 | From: Walked the plank | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
|
Posted
Merseymike, the day I start taking your recommendations is the day I will really need therapy. If you really feel like you want to display your ignorance, please start a thread on why you feel qualified to suggest that people like me are unusually likely to be idiots. Otherwise, how about taking my original point that your political sputum seems to be unrelated to the topic at hand.
scot
--------------------
“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Qestia
Marshwiggle
# 717
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scots lass:
Perfect Storm was incredibly bad and I had to sit through it on a bus THREE TIMES!! Everybody died, how can they possibly know what happened?!
Absolutely! Plus we were supposed to think that guy and his girlfriend had such a deep love, when she had given him a black eye and the scenes of them together were truly hellish?
quote:
Originally posted by Scots lass:I had the bright idea of going to see the Avengers film, absolutely awful.
As a longtime Ralph Fiennes fan, this film couldn't have been more dissappointing, even with the gratuitous bum shot.
Re: Titanic, all the running around Jack and Rose were doing, you think they might have grabbed a lifejacket for Jack. That's what true love is. Or let him up on the wood she was floating on. It looked like there was room!
I'm throwing down another gauntlet and saying how much I disliked Jerry Maguire, as well. First off, that kid was definitely -inducing, secondly, Renee Zellweger and the squinty-you had me from hello just made me . I didn't forgive her until Bridget Jones' Diary, which was highly amusing.
--------------------
I’m on Aslan’s side even if there isn’t an Aslan to lead it.
I’m going to live as like a Narnian as I can even if there isn’t any Narnia.
Posts: 1213 | From: Boston | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
MrSponge2U
Ship’s scrub
# 3076
|
Posted
"Strange Days" was absolutely the most unpleasant movie I have ever seen. And "The Associate" with Whoopi Goldberg was a thoroughly preachy, boring "Tootsie" ripoff. I caught about 15 minutes of "Little Nicky" with Adam Sandler, and what I saw was so bad I don't ever want to sit through the whole thing.
--------------------
sig? what sig?
Posts: 3558 | From: where two big rivers meet | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
mysticlisa
Ship's seer
# 2867
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Moo:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
[Oh, Rook, I am so happy to find someone else who didn't like the Wizard of Oz as a child!]
I saw that movie when I was four years old, and it terrified me...
I had nightmares for years afterward.
For some reason WOO was shown annually when I was growing up... And my family sat through it every time. I cried every time. My mom seemed to think I was moved by it somehow... It was really because I hated it!!! (Except for the song Somewhere Over the Rainbow... Harold Arlen wrote some wonderful music!)
--------------------
"More things are wrought by prayer
than this world dreams of."
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Posts: 483 | From: my laptop | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by mysticlisa:
For some reason WOO was shown annually when I was growing up...
Damn thing's still shown annually in Canada - usually around Thanksgiving (er, the Canadian one). Like the CBC doesn't give me enough reasons to read a book instead as it is. Whenever I venture to my parents place to lay seige to their kitchen at that time of year, they usually try to ruin my appetite and fend me off by tuning in tWOO.
Merseymike, I'm not a Republican (or American for that matter), don't own a gun (mentioned I wasn't American, right?), but I'm with Scot on this one. Unless you are content with the metaphysical neon sign above your avatar saying "technophobe", how about stating something more specific? Be sure to compose it carefully on that handy desktop "thinking machine" you use to access this bulletin board - because I'll really enjoy testing your comments on you for rectal fit.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Robert Porter-Miller
Tiocfaidh Separabit
# 1459
|
Posted
E.T - What a complete and utter crock of sh*t. Who watched that when it first came out and cried? - you sad morons get a life. All I have to say further on that is
Best/worst spoiling of a movie (which I've never seen) - My brother telling me that in "The Usual Suspects" the guy with the limp did it. Apparently he did it at a cinema line too
--------------------
It's a beautiful day - don't let it get away - Bono and the boys
Let's all "Release Some Tension"
Posts: 1231 | From: Washington, D.C. | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Rev per Minute
Shipmate
# 69
|
Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lifeman:
One film that really must be listed as unpardonable is 'The Patriot' starring Mel Gibson.
<snip>
2) The British are depicted as behaving like Nazi's burning civilians alive in a barn. I don't believe that this ever happened; it is documented that the Nazi's did do this to civilians in Ruusia. Could this be because the director of this film was German.
Lifeman
I believe the scene to which you refer had the British locking 'rebels' in a church and burning it down. This did not happen during the War of Independence/Revolutionary War (delete as appropriate for position on east or west of Atlantic)...
Instead, it happened in Ireland some twenty years later during the United Irishmen uprising of Wolfe Tone, where the British set fire to some Catholics in this way. Complaints about 'The Patriot' as anti-British have always seemed rather lame to me, given that fact.
--------------------
"Allons-y!" "Geronimo!" "Oh, for God's sake!" The Day of the Doctor
At the end of the day, we face our Maker alongside Jesus. RIP ken
Posts: 2696 | From: my desk (if I can find the keyboard under this mess) | Registered: May 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Printer-friendly view
