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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: I wish I were gay
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daisymay
St Elmo's Fire
# 1480
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Posted
Never mind, Stoo, I'm gayer than you. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
But about my masculine side?
And what level does the rating go to? 10?
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London
Flickr fotos
Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001
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JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
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Posted
I am totally pissed off! I tap dance, sing, act, talk effusively about my feelings, and encourage others to do the same. My mother is gay. I have lots of gay friends. Many people think I'm gay. What did I score? Level 1!
I dutifully checked off "sing," "dance," and the fact that many friends label me "sensitive." Did I get any credit? No! So I drink beer and watch (American) football. So what. Those check boxes need to be weighted. I don't sing "Happy Birthday" off key, I sing a capella French Renaissance music. Jesus don't these people know anything? I am very gay-acting, very. And they gave me level one. Idiots!
This site does not understand that peoples' "gaydar" looks for one, secret smoking gun that "never fails." Trip that trigger, cross that threshold and you are gay, gay, gay. People don't look for a preponderance of evidence.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Please be gentle with IntellectByProxy. I think his posts are hilarious.
btw, if anyone wants a yahoo group (with pics) on blokes with small willies, I have a link.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Canucklehead
Shipmate
# 1595
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Posted
YEAH BABY! Score 13, level 1. Can anybody beat that without cheating?
Posts: 135 | From: Victoria, BC | Registered: Oct 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Whew! I came out as a Level 3: Mostly Masculine! Good thing bald guys like me never have to worry about hair gels, and I'm glad I resisted those Barbra Streisand CDs at the swap meet last month!
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Laudate Dominum
Shipmate
# 3104
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Posted
Well, I'm level 9, score 194, "The Ultimate Feminine" which is good because I am indeed very feminine, what with being a girl and all....
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"They think us barbarians because we cling to the past. We think them barbarians because they do not cling to the past." --G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 518 | From: Lala Land | Registered: Jul 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Erin:
I simply recognized that men hold firm to the belief that if you let another man cut you off in traffic, it is proof that his is bigger.
Not at all. If some guy tries to cut me off, I let him. Then I pass him while making obscene gestures out the window with both hands.
[Both hands out the window?!? What does he steer the car with?]
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34
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Posted
Ah, I came out as level 5.
On the Quiz for women I scored at level 4.
quote:
LEVEL 4-- FEMINIST
Gloria Steinem is more than a hero to you-she is a Goddess! You threw away your DD36 bras years ago along with all the other symbols of female cultural slavery and oppression. You spend your weekends rescuing cats from the pound and you attend regular meetings of "WOMYN: Life Without Sperm"!
So who on earth is Gloria Steinem, and how do you make babies without sperm?
bb
Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
Sorry Guys,
Your score is 40
LEVEL 2 -- VERY STRAIGHT ACTING
Hardly anyone would be able to pick you as a homo boy. All your actions are carefully crafted in a way that they never appear to be considered too fem. Only a fellow level 2 -- buddy might suspect you with the proper gaydar and it's just the way you like it.
Sorry if you're all really disappointed ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Tubbs
Miss Congeniality
# 440
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Posted
Well I'm a LEVEL 1-- VERY FEMME ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif) Looks like my consciousness could do with a raise
Tubbs
PS IBP, how are you at dancing?
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"It's better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it up and remove all doubt" - Dennis Thatcher. My blog. Decide for yourself which I am
Posts: 12701 | From: Someplace strange | Registered: Jun 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Mrs Tubbs:
PS IBP, how are you at dancing?
I think I am marvelous at dancing. Ergo, I am not.
People say I look like a convulsive crane fly when I dance, and (me being 6 foot 7) they may well be right.
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
So who on earth is Gloria Steinem, and how do you make babies without sperm?
a) American feminist writer, obviously a bit before your time - brief biography here
mmm, I think there's meant to be a joke in there.
Firenze
Somewhat Feminine/Lipstick Lesbian
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
"Gloria Steinem is more than a hero to you-she is a Goddess! You threw away your DD36 bras years ago along with all the other symbols of female cultural slavery and oppression. You spend your weekends rescuing cats from the pound ..."
I don't think so.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
If that is a serious inquiry, may I refer you to the thread on the Dead Cats forum, I mean Dead Horses.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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daisymay
St Elmo's Fire
# 1480
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Posted
On BB's women's one I got:
Your score is 11
LEVEL 4-- FEMINIST
Gloria Steinem is more than a hero to you-she is a Goddess! You threw away your DD36 bras years ago along with all the other symbols of female cultural slavery and oppression. You spend your weekends rescuing cats from the pound and you attend regular meetings of "WOMYN: Life Without Sperm"!
Don't think so somehow - it's very USA based and I just guessed some questions.
maybe that's my masculine side emerging.
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London
Flickr fotos
Posts: 11224 | From: London - originally Dundee, Blairgowrie etc... | Registered: Oct 2001
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ken
Ship's Roundhead
# 2460
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Posted
I got to be a Tomboy ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Posts: 39579 | From: London | Registered: Mar 2002
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Og: Thread Killer
Ship's token CN Mennonite
# 3200
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Nell:
I have often wondered why so many of the teenage boys I teach, choose to adopt ultra conservative (at best) attitudes towards other groups within society. From their conversation many young boys seem to
(i) despise gays and lesbians ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Methinks many of them only despise lesbians publically.
Secretly...well....they probably want to...ahem...watch.
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) (the whole idea of being defined by the act of sex makes me too)
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I wish I was seeking justice loving mercy and walking humbly but... "Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st."
Posts: 5025 | From: Toronto | Registered: Aug 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
We have always been defined by the act of sex.
Genders are defined by sex, which means that inequality is defined and sustained by sex.
Why is sex so important to this society?
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Why is sex so important to this society?
Since Mrs. IBP is still unaware of your diminutive dick, I must assume that you haven't tried sex yet. Have a go and then you'll understand why it is important.
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
Mrs. ByProxy seems to be most happy by the size of my dick, my jiggling technique, and the many other aspects of my romantic inclinations in the bedroom (and elsewhere) which are too numerous, exciting, and patented to go into here.
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
... which are too numerous, exciting, and patented to go into here.
Thank God!
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Warrior Tortoise
Shipmate
# 2682
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
Incidentally Warrior Tortoise assumed I was gay until she checked my bathroom and found that [...] my wife's stuff is in there too.
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NOT a defining factor.
I'd feel I should clarify;
When I first did the bathroom check it was because an American friend of mine had pointed out to me the oddness of a bathroom. Two male friends shared a house and in their bathroom were a lot of CK 1 bathroom gels etc and a load of Superdrug own stuff. We came to the conlcusion that one of them must be gay. And we were right.
I was first introduced to IBP by his then fiancee and I remember thinking at the time (I've told him since, clearly) that if he hadn't been introduced as that I would have had him down as gay. I explained the bathroom theory and said that it was obvious he wasn't gay because the bathroom did not contain such Calvin Klein items.
Incidentally I now share said house with a female friend and IBP has got his own back by calling us "his favourite lesbian couple".
Warrior
PS I scored a 3.
[Please no long lines of hyphens. Innovative use of the quoting tags spares our scroll lock]
[ 25. November 2002, 15:14: Message edited by: frin ]
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"Inconceivable!" You use that word a lot, I do not think it means what you think it means. - The Princess Bride
Posts: 82 | From: the pit of despair | Registered: Apr 2002
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JimT
Ship'th Mythtic
# 142
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Posted
Level 5, Tomboy. I can live with that.
Posts: 2619 | From: Now On | Registered: May 2001
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CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
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Posted
IBP,
You state:
"Incidentally, Scot, the picture in your profile scares the bejesus out of me."
There is a photo of Scot in Stix (So. Cal Ship Meet). He is one hot looking dude. If I were a guy, he could turn me gay.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
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CorgiGreta
Shipmate
# 443
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Posted
Sorry. The photo is in All Saints, halfway down page two of the thread. Just took another look (pamt, pant). Unfortunately, the photo won't provide you with any clues to satisfy your curiosity about Scot's nob.
Greta
Posts: 3677 | Registered: Jun 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
If I were a guy, he could turn me gay.
Thanks CorgiGreta. That is by far the strangest compliment I've ever gotten!
As for any questions of a more <ahem> personal nature, I'll have to refer everyone to the missus.
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
quote:
Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
If I were a guy, he could turn me gay.
Thanks CorgiGreta. That is by far the strangest compliment I've ever gotten!
As for any questions of a more <ahem> personal nature, I'll have to refer everyone to the missus.
Really, ScoT! Oh, come now; I think you're mature enough to handle a simple question or two from some of our more...ah...enquiring Shipmates, no? (wink, wink; nudge, nudge) ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056
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Posted
quote:
quote:
Originally posted by CorgiGreta:
If I were a guy, he could turn me gay.
Thanks CorgiGreta. That is by far the strangest compliment I've ever gotten!
As for any questions of a more <ahem> personal nature, I'll have to refer everyone to the missus.
Really, ScoT! Oh, come now; I think you're mature enough to handle a simple question or two from some of our more...ah...enquiring Shipmates, no? (wink, wink; nudge, nudge)
This man knows where his bread is buttered (sorry Ken daaahling! )He's wisely deferring questions about his personal attributes to the ultimate authority! ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif)
T.
[Time to go study the FAQ on UBB code and put in some practice in the Styx?]
[ 25. November 2002, 15:18: Message edited by: frin ]
Posts: 172 | From: In the Pool | Registered: Jul 2002
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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056
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Posted
This man knows where his bread is buttered (sorry Ken daaahling ) He's wisely deferring questions about his personal attributes to the ultimate authority
T.
(reads better without all the previous quotes from others - patience please, I'm still figuring out how to post ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif) )
Posts: 172 | From: In the Pool | Registered: Jul 2002
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
[Hostly note]
Hi thumbprint; welcome to the Ship, and to Hell in particular. If you want some practice with quoting, then pop over to the Practice thread in the Styx. Check your PM's for a quick explanation from me about how to quote etc too (At the top of your page should be two buttons - New Topic and Post A Poll. Below them is a link 'My Profile'. Click on that to access your PMs )
Viki, hellhost
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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chukovsky
Ship's toddler
# 116
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Posted
quote:
Your score is 138
LEVEL 7 -- VERY FEMININE
It's kinda assumed 'Oh, yeah he's gay'. Your consistent behavior leads anyone you come in contact with to think that you're more than likely a fun loving homo boy. You're the life of the party and your hands are moving and talking as much as your mouth. You clothes are so perfect that sometimes they look fake.
Well that's a relief...
however
quote:
LEVEL 2-- SOMEWHAT FEMME
You embrace all sorts of womanly things but like to make a statement by not shaving your legs during winter! Once in a while you even let your armpit hair grow! Your idea of a good time is shoe shopping (even though you know that you have too many pairs) but you've also been known to change the oil in your car.
is though not that accurate in the details (honest, see here!), a bit worrying!
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This space left intentionally blank. Do not write on both sides of the paper at once.
Posts: 6842 | From: somewhere else | Registered: May 2001
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Thumbprint:
This man knows where his bread is buttered (sorry Ken daaahling ) He's wisely deferring questions about his personal attributes to the ultimate authority
Is that 'Thumbprint' as in 'so much under the thumb he's got a thumbprint on his head', Scot?
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
Say what you like, IBP. At least I know firsthand why sex is a big deal.
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
I must be blind (three blind mice...) but I scanned the thread and couldn't find the link to the gayness test website. Can somebody re-post it so I can confirm (or deny) my sexuality?
Thanks,
Reader Alexis
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Thumbprint
Shipmate
# 3056
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
quote:
Originally posted by Thumbprint:
This man knows where his bread is buttered (sorry Ken daaahling ) He's wisely deferring questions about his personal attributes to the ultimate authority
Is that 'Thumbprint' as in 'so much under the thumb he's got a thumbprint on his head', Scot?
You must be joking right? ![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
You've obviously never READ any posts from Scot if you think he can be easily manipulated! ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
Posts: 172 | From: In the Pool | Registered: Jul 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Scot:
Say what you like, IBP. At least I know firsthand why sex is a big deal.
Why's it such a big deal, Scot?
Listen mate, if you want any tips just PM me and I'm sure I can help you out if you're finding it difficult. I know this REALLY good doctor, he can sort out all those age-related problems.
Just say the word bud.
IBP
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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IntellectByProxy
Larger than you think
# 3185
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Thumbprint:
Is that 'Thumbprint' as in 'so much under the thumb he's got a thumbprint on his head', Scot?
You must be joking right?
You've obviously never READ any posts from Scot if you think he can be easily manipulated!
Ah, but by answering on his behalf you appear to have been hoisted by your own petard.
I can reccommend some great creams to sort out that nasty red spot on his forhead you know, just so the neighbours don't know...
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www.zambiadiaries.blogspot.com
Posts: 3482 | From: The opposite | Registered: Aug 2002
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TonyK
Host Emeritus
# 35
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Posted
Well I suppose I'm glad:-
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Your score is 17
LEVEL 1 -- EXTREMELY STRAIGHT ACTING
No one would expect you as being gay because your actions never show even a hint of femininity. You carry yourself in a macho, masculine manner at all times. You're hung up on 'guy things' and if you dance at a club your feet and hands barely move. Your idea of a good time is probably watching WCW wrestling.
No to the last - and I only slightly blurred one answer - honest!
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Yours aye ... TonyK
Posts: 2717 | From: Gloucestershire | Registered: May 2001
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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by TonyK:
Well I suppose I'm glad:-
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Your score is 17
LEVEL 1 -- EXTREMELY STRAIGHT ACTING
And is therefore in high demand among those guys who are into "straight acting" chaps.
(dangles toaster enticingly in the direction of the OP's poster)
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My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by ChastMastr:
(dangles toaster enticingly in the direction of the OP's poster)
Ah, is that the current recruitment reward?
(Thinking of an episode of "Ellen".)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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mousethief
Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953
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Posted
Score: 68
Level: 4
Somewhat straight acting.
Reader Alexis
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This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...
Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001
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Scot
Deck hand
# 2095
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by IntellectByProxy:
I can reccommend some great creams to sort out that nasty red spot on his forhead you know, just so the neighbours don't know...
If you think that it causes red spots on the forehead, then I know you aren't doing it right. Perhaps you should back down from the headboard by just a couple of inches.
What's that? You haven't got a couple of inches to spare? That's okay - she can move down too.
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“Here, we are not afraid to follow truth wherever it may lead, nor tolerate any error so long as reason is left free to combat it.” - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 9515 | From: Southern California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Unkl Davy
Shipmate
# 2777
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Posted
As a white, straight male, I’d just like to know when all those perks that liberals think I enjoy by being a member of the WASP club are going to kick in.
I mean if I’m going to be stereotyped as being privileged, I’d at least like to actually enjoy said privileges some people seem to think I’m having lavished upon me. Or is being laid off 3 times in the last 2 years a perk that I’m unaware of?
Can anyone tell me how I’m supposed to contact the good ole boy network and tell them I’d like my membership card and a job that will last longer than Michael Jackson’s progeny?
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"Lately, everything has been coming my way ... I think I'm in the wrong lane."
Posts: 216 | From: Silicon Valley | Registered: May 2002
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