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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Hell: Calling God to Hell
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
Amoyra. Stop it now.
Please?
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
Amorya, please post again and let us know if you're OK or not.
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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chiefssuperfan
Apprentice
# 4505
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Posted
I'm glad I found this site, and am looking forward to reading the posts, and getting to know the regs.
As for the subject of "Divine goodness in light of human suffering" like everyone else in the world I too have struggled with it. I've found few answers except to understand faith as a trust in God even and especially when belief and feelings clash. Who wins in that arena seems to me to be the most defining element of one's spirituality.
I'm a pastor who ministers from an evangelical (some might even call "fundamental") perspective. About four years ago, my five year old daughter was sexually molested by a teen member of our church youth group--a young man whom I not only baptized but also permitted in my home since his was somewhat lacking in love and example. I still tear up as I go back to that time. It would be accurate to say I lost my faith for a period of time. I recall pulling off the highway and clamoring angry shouts heavenward. "God did you fall asleep on the watch? I entrusted my children to you. How could you possibly have permitted this to happen?" I received no answers. As the weeks passed my marriage suffered--I think my wife and I in part were blaming ourselves as well as one another for the event. I continued to ascend to the pulpit several times a week as always. But now all seemed hollow. In my highway outburst to God I had told Him to leave me alone. "Let me quit the ministry. I'm sick of it all."
I wish I could share some sort of epiphany. All I can say is that I survived it. So has my marriage. Since then I've realized that the real victim was my child. The more I focussed on my heartache, the less I felt hers. As such I believe I was acting in a narcisistic manner. Is that a bit harsh? Probably. But to revisit the Psalmist David's "rantings" against the Lord amid the wicked's prosperity, I think it important to note his journey along the same path of anger to hurt to hollowness to pretension to brokenness and finally to restored faith.
During a period of particular darkness one of our dearest friends behaved like Job's. "You should forgive the perpetrator and trust God," offering his confident counsel.
"No, I don't think so. Not yet," I replied. Interestingly, my help came not from him--he who had never been there or who forgot what it was like to be in that dark place--but from another friend who said, "You know what, Scott, you may never forgive the perpetrator, and you may never understand the Lord's role in allowing your daughter's suffering."
In the end, I've remained in the ministry, and when another person echoes the same dismal sentiments towards God, I feel it with them. I'm thinking that's a good and helpful thing. As for my own belief--its never been stronger. I believe God is good. I believe God is all-powerful. And, I believe God allows bad stuff to happen to the innocent. Which is what I knew before it all began--but now I have faith in those truths.
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God Bless Ya'll :)
Posts: 2 | From: Arkansas | Registered: May 2003
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Peronel
The typo slayer
# 569
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Posted
quote:
I believe God is good. I believe God is all-powerful. And, I believe God allows bad stuff to happen to the innocent. Which is what I knew before it all began--but now I have faith in those truths.
![[Not worthy!]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Gosh. What an opening post. May I take the little I've quoted and use it as a signature?
Peronel
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Lord, I have sinned, and mine iniquity.
Deserves this hell; yet Lord deliver me.
Posts: 2367 | From: A self-inflicted exile | Registered: Jun 2001
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chiefssuperfan
Apprentice
# 4505
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Posted
Sure. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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God Bless Ya'll :)
Posts: 2 | From: Arkansas | Registered: May 2003
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Nightlamp
Shipmate
# 266
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Posted
Welcome chiefssuperfan to the Ship the guidlines for the site are found here and for hell here . Can I suggest you have a good look around you will notice that each board has a distinctive character so have a good read around.
Nightlamp
Hellhost
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I don't know what you are talking about so it couldn't have been that important- Nightlamp
Posts: 8442 | From: Midlands | Registered: May 2001
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Amorya
Ship's tame galoot
# 2652
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Amorya, please post again and let us know if you're OK or not.
Ok, sorry everyone for that post. I'm ok, honestly - don't worry 'bout me. I was just having a bad night.
I'm fine – really!
Amorya
Posts: 2383 | From: Coventry | Registered: Apr 2002
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
Chiefssuperfan, you might want to take a look at the book "Survivor Prayers" by Rev. Catherine Foote. (Herself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Nice post, chiefssuperfan.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Caz...
Shipmate
# 3026
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Posted
Why is it the words "stop it now" induce such a FUCKING RAGE in me??????? I'm an adult in hell, goddamnit and I'll do whatever I fucking well like.
And now I'll be all British and say sorry. Sorry.
![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
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"What have you been reading? The Gospel according to St. Bastard?" - Eddie Izzard
Posts: 1888 | From: here to there | Registered: Jul 2002
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Amorya:
quote:
Originally posted by jlg:
Amorya, please post again and let us know if you're OK or not.
Ok, sorry everyone for that post. I'm ok, honestly - don't worry 'bout me. I was just having a bad night.
I'm fine – really!
Amorya
Thanks for checking back in. After I posted that, I noticed in All Saints that your in the middle of exams, so I wasn't so worried. ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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jlg
What is this place?
Why am I here?
# 98
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Posted
I swear I typed 'you're', not 'your'. ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
Posts: 17391 | From: Just a Town, New Hampshire, USA | Registered: May 2001
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ChrisT
One of the Good Guys™
# 62
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Posted
Shit, God, what are you playing at? Haven't these people had enough? Just one positive thing is all we ask. Just one word instead of silence. Just one glance instead of ignoring us. Just one touch intead of absence.
And while I have your attention, I'll just say once again; why?
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Firmly on dry land
Posts: 6489 | From: Here, there and everywhere | Registered: May 2001
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
Amen.
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I cannot expect people to believe “
Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.”
Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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Saint Osmund
Pontifex sariburiensis
# 2343
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Posted
I'm sick of it. I really am. I could cope with the knowledge that it's always going to be shit, but it's the raising my hopes then dashing them again that I can't cope with. I just want to cry.
I'm here at work trying to be pleasant to people, and I really just can't keep up the facade anymore. I'm alternating between being upset, and being really fucked off and GOD'S JUST TAKING THE PISS!!!!!
For all the hurt, for all the pain, for the raised and dashed hopes, God; all I have to say is:
and also with you!!!!
RC
Posts: 2965 | From: here | Registered: Feb 2002
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
Just let me give up God.
That is all i'm asking for now. I know I'll never be the person everyone wants me to be, i know i'll never be the person everyone sees...there is nothing left now god...nothing at all...i believed that it would change, even after yelling and crying and tying to die, i still somehow believed that you could love, that you did love.
Now i give up. I can't cope with this fucked up world any more, i don't WANT to cope with this fucked up world...
But in some sick way, you won't even let me die will you? My one fucking prayer and you won't answer it...
Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?????
why did every that happened happen? why did you let it happen? why? why? why? why?
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
Right God - you got time?
I know I must sound ungrateful for getting through recent months but things haven't moved on have they?
What happened to all those promises you made - about things being different? About things moving on? All this "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"?
I mean I still have nothing - no job, money, home, love, marriage. It's all been taken away from me and yes, I'm angry
Seems the more I try and trust you the more you throw shit at me. Why can't you throw the shit elsewhere for a change cos I'm sick of being on the receiving end.
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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by The Wonderful Nanny Ogg:
All this "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"?
Oh, you've been given this shit by people too? It's a standard verse given by well-meaning christians who have no idea what the fuck to say to you, and quite frankly, can't cope with all your shit.
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“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
BIG GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR GOD
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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Emma Louise
Storm in a teapot
# 3571
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Posted
its been helpful tagging along, reading these boards... knowing Im not alone...
Heck - one of sarkys posts nearly made me cry (if i could cry).... what is the world coming too???
Posts: 12719 | From: Enid Blyton territory. | Registered: Nov 2002
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
Fuck you God
More reasons to die are exactly what i need right now aren't they...
When i'm right on the edge you just give me the little push that will send me falling.
Is that what you want God?
Do you want me to die?
Would it make you happy?
Bastard.
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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Golden Key
Shipmate
# 1468
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Posted
God,
you know I *want* you to be there.
But--at this point--it's mostly in spite of, not because of religion. Any religion.
The promises don't hold. The world hurts too much. Too much crap has been said in your name.
If you care about us in any healthy way, then you need to start straightening all of this out and letting us know what's going on and who you are. Otherwise, we just keep getting broken over and over--and so does our faith.
![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
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Blessed Gator, pray for us!
--"Oh bat bladders, do you have to bring common sense into this?" (Dragon, "Jane & the Dragon")
--"Oh, Peace Train, save this country!" (Yusuf/Cat Stevens, "Peace Train")
Posts: 18601 | From: Chilling out in an undisclosed, sincere pumpkin patch. | Registered: Oct 2001
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