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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: The Belisary (An Epic Poem)
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
I sing of Arms and hosts at war,
A mighty celestial battle.
Come Muse, and help me tell of all
That happened, forbid thou me to prattle.
A storm was brewing in the realms
Of gods and hosts and spirits;
War was declared on Heav'n, by Hell
And it is markéd in these lyrics.
Our hero, Bel, stood sev'n feet tall
(E'en taller on the telly)
And he was joined by other hosts,
Noble Viola and Starbelly.
The villains then, were really bad,
With few redeeming features:
Sarkycow, Nightlamp and Master Tomb
(Alongside their imps, toadies and leeches)
Forgive me now, for it is late
(Which must explain my shoddy rhyme)
What happens next, someone else must tell,
(Keeping it, of course, in time)...
[edited thread title for Limbo]
[ 19. January 2004, 02:48: Message edited by: RuthW ]
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Yes, Bel was all that Stoo proclaimed.
Refined and Olympian was he;
Possessed of all virtues that could be named
By the Heavenly Hierarchy.
Crudity had no sway o'er him;
Passion's Cup he never did spill.
Even Sentiment he did not so much as skim.
Though he bore Heaven's fluff with good will.
Out of bemused ennui he had refrained
From joining in the general mess.
But now there was a chance to be entertained
From Hell's tries at causing distress.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Thus did tomb slither to Heavenly land,
His snideness and rudeness down pat.
The Sarkycow Puppet hid one clawed hand
A la South Park's Mr. Hat.
His arrogance took an unexpected role--
He dared to match Heaven's art.
So from the depths of his brutal soul
A Operettic number did start...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Oh, better far to live in Hell
Where whiners, flamers, jerks all dwell
Than play a sanctimonious part
With mincing words and cynic's heart.
In this bland dystopia I'll leave posts,
Where back-stabbing hypocrites rise to be Hosts;
But I'll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Reptile King.
For I am the Reptile King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Reptile King!
For I am a Reptile King!
Hurrah for the Reptile King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Reptile King!
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
A reference to a Comic Opera buffoon!
Not an image a Hellhost should nurse.
'Twas surprising that tomb had blundered so soon--
Divisiveness now made things worse.
"That sucked!" the Sarkycow puppet chimed;
Tomb gave it a violent smack.
Tantrums then burst forth erratically timed
As if he'd been smoking Crack.
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
And there below, in the fiery pit,
Amidst the squabbles, voices ran.
The denizens of hell had hit
Upon a cruel and fiendish plan.
"Let us strike them where it smarts!"
Cold Nightlamp cried to the foul bovine,
"You remove their private parts,
And I will boil them up in brine!"
"Shut your trap!" rasped the rugose one,
"Can't you see I'm trying to think?
We must hit upon a plan
To cause their very faith to sink."
"Ooh, I know," cried Sarkycow,
"Let's call them nasty names!"
"Better yet," opined Nightlamp,
"Start party threads, and sad word games!"
"Ah no," said Tomb, "I've just the thing
To tear their very hearts asunder!"
And right on key, a plot device:
Lightning, sheeting rain and thunder.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Meanwhile the Hosts of Heaven reclined
In graceful attitudes,
Their forms so elegant, their talk so refined,
Being neither perverts nor prudes.
Belisarius deigned to take a look
At a squabbling down in Hell.
A second was all his surveying took;
Then he said, his voice clear as a bell--
"There's still no need to change our plan
To watch Bergman films and sip Port.
Hell's ravings are merely a flash in the pan--
To Force we've no need to resort."
Viola said in a dulcet voice pure,
"With you I thoroughly agree."
But Starbelly felt somewhat unsure--
"Perhaps Hell I should see..."
[Grammar corrected]
[ 12. September 2002, 01:33: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Belisarius smiled with indulgence--
"If you want, of course, down you may go.
But why one should stand Hell's effulgence
Is something I don't care to know."
"Hell is nothing to us," Viola said,
"Though its excesses sometimes amuse.
Why get near a mob so ill-bred;
Your senses you shouldn't abuse!"
"True, Hell can't hurt us," Starbelly replied,
"But the feelings of others may hurt.
So I must cross the chasm wide
And battle the rude and pert."
So benevolent was Bel, that even though
The Thread's title was based on his name,
He kindly let Starbelly go
To acquire inevitable fame.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
So the star-bellied Neil went down into Hell,
"Attack, attack," he cried, "attack!"
And armed with hugs, smiles (and a tinkly-bell)
He broke the gates and forced them back.
Inside, he shone and hugged and tinkled,
The minions found themselves forced to flee.
He pulled out glitter-tubes, and sprinkled
Silver stars in the lava sea.
But then, behind him, the gates slammed shut,
The Sith Lord Nightlamp wheezed "You sap!
You fool! You imbecile! You mutt!
You have rushed straight into my trap!"
And with a cackle that shook the walls,
The Hell-host enveloped himself in his cloak,
And when the air cleared, Neil found those halls
Of hell were empty, save for the smoke.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Neil was uneasy, but too brave to flee,
When suddenly Nightlamp returned.
He looked as angry as angry could be;
The ground beneath his feet burned.
"A truce is declared!" the fiend did shout,
And of bile he spat a huge wad.
"I have find out what it's all about--
So get the **** out, you great sod!"
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
"We warned Starbelly," Viola observed,
"That he would be wasting his time.
Such attention Hell's never deserved--
For the whole Board I'd not pay a dime."
"Be that as it may," Belisarius said,
"He has sparked my interest in deeds.
Let's recount Old Board Stories before they are dead--
On publicity fickle Fame feeds."
"There plenty from Hosting," Viola agreed,
"And others may join in as well.
As long as they write with the wit we so need,
The posts can come even from Hell."
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
"For now, I will recall a thread
At which I would fondly look.
Through the worst of luck it now is dead,
Though two disasters it took.
"The Story Relay was a treat
With humor and kitsch to spare.
Rodents, Smilies, and Humans would meet;
In-jokes and subtext they'd share.
"But Sheila was its brightest light--
A beautiful hamster bold.
A Rodent Diva her birthright,
Her exploits had to be told."
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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blackbird
Shipmate
# 1387
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Posted
vain ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif) tried her best to upstage her,
but true charlie was not called away.
and while hjalmar was sometimes a bother,
they shared make-up and stockings each day.
twas rodrigo who made her heart flutter,
though his vanishing made her head spin.
that was simply the price of unlearning,
hamster pride! hamster sloth! hamster sin!
Posts: 1236 | From: usa | Registered: Sep 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
![[Wink]](wink.gif) and Anonymous gave the plot
Some romance for those with that taste;
Villainous plans Mr. Big soon begot,
But they were thwarted post-haste.
Quetzalcoatl appeared on TV;
Headless Joan Rivers became.
Vomit Boy proved heroic to be;
The Edinburgh Fringe stayed the same.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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blackbird
Shipmate
# 1387
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Posted
oh, there were biscuits, volcanoes and caves,
traffic hissing on rainy black streets.
there were ray-guns and mirrors, a black ace of spades,
but with walri surely none could compete.
no deed, for rev. wantwill, was ever too dark,
no soup challenged crafty hopsing.
but if we had to listen to owens and clark
much longer we'd all have stopped typing.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The Smilies mentioned also appeared
In a Big Brother parody;
The social dynamics were noticeably weird--
They were not One Big Family.
got the boot as soon as could be;
![[Cool]](cool.gif) was deemed without use.
was too bland, while all could see
![[Razz]](tongue.gif) 's history of rubber abuse.
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
And yet mighty Stoo did stew and ponder,
Weak and weary like a game show contestant,
Where hid the fair prize he sought, perhaps far yonder?
Sitting 'neath the feet of some wise Protestant?
For fair-haired Belisarius, snoozing gently
In Heaven's comfy, reclineréd La-Z-Boy,
Hath dropped the remote control o so spently
From flacid, Cheeto-stainéd hand, a toy
Brave Stoo desired deeply, spurning materialism
'Midst contentious Ship-mates adrift in posts,
Awash in downéd servers and American imperialism,
So prickly-footed, dodging cats and hosts
His sinewy grasp exceeded his reach and lo!
The remote control now was his! Rejoice!
The muttering Hell-crew too umbrage down below
And vowed deep in warm beer cups, their voice
Wouldst now be heard, the remote control, theirs!
No poltroony, lily-featured Heaven's git
Would master the infernal TV set! Heirs
Infernal, forever! they screamed, Of vengeance it
Now was planned, and lovely Stoo, the shining
Paragon, was connived to be besmirched!
Craft Nightlamp, bilious Sarkycow, whining
Tomb, bemoaned their failure to rhyme "besmirched."
Their plans found'ring 'pon reverent Stoo's Boy Scout,
Pearlescent honor, in joyous triumph, remote
Held high, sorry Hell-crew tongues stuck out,
In searing Envy's flames their flabby hearts afloat.
--------------------
"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Weep, ye Nymphs, for the forlorn Stoo,
For Danger was much more near.
While what with the remote he pondered to do,
A Giant did suddenly appear.
For the mighty Coot reared his spectacular form--
A New Heaven Host created!
With his manly height several times the norm,
He thunderingly berated:
"Rash mortal! How dare you in Impudence take
An object that's Heaven's own!"
His stentorian tones made the landscape quake
And the very atmosphere groan.
Poor Stoo was frozen in icy terror
By the glorious Coot's harangue.
He feared that in punishment for his error
He'd be crushed into meringue.
[added stanza]
[ 08. October 2002, 20:46: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The splendid Coot's shadow now Stoo's foot touched--
Stoo tried not to faint;
To the remote he spasmadically clutched
As a penitent to a Saint.
While trapped within this mindless fear
His fingers twitched at random;
But as the Coot came more and more near
Three buttons got pushed in a tandem.
Behold! Blinding streams of light
Made even the Coot shield his eyes;
When the massive being regained his sight
He saw an amazing surprise.
For the comely Stoo had been elevated--
Now no mere mortal he.
With Heaven's Hosts he now could be rated
As a demi-deity!
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Belisarius and Viola saw
What Stoo had just become.
This brand-new godling, untested and raw--
Could they keep him under their thumb?
"I hope he doesn't run amok,"
Wise Viola said;
"Such a promotion might bring bad luck,
And have fluffy posters see red."
"I am not yet concerned," Belisarius said,
"Such novices we can control.
If such as beings as we could be sick in bed,
We could still safely plot out his role."
[Grammar corrected ![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif) ]
[ 28. October 2002, 15:26: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Inanna
Ship's redhead
# 538
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Posted
"Aha" answered Viola, with a smug grin
"The role we can give him is this:
We'll keep him from both'ring us ever again
Make him host of the new Knockout Quiz.
"For surely it promises plenty of tricks
To keep our new host occupied.
With links to be checked and board code to be fixed
And at least twenty pages beside."
--------------------
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
"Excellent plan, if I may say so,"
Belisarius agreed.
"Into the Quiz Thread Stoo will go
For as much time as he need."
The two noble Hosts unraveled the thread
To its full supernatural length;
The Numerous tangents on which it had fed
Provided e'en more tensile strength
They then dropped it all on the unprepared Stoo--
He was instantly caught in its web.
It stuck to him like paper to glue;
He struggled, but his strength soon did ebb...
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
"Alas! Alack!" cried Stoo, "I'm sure
To perish midst a swarth of links!
I've many things to do before
I catch my final forty winks!
With quiz threads, Tigglet's online-nookie,
And many a random boring thread,
At this rate, I will indeed be lucky
To make it out before I'm dead!"
And so, young Stoo henceforth proceeded
To correct, edit, check and delete
And to Belisarus' whim conceded,
He set about his fearsome feat.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The Quiz Thread Stoo was able to leave
After sloughing though many posts.
His exit made some Immortals grieve,
For his labors amused many Hosts.
The next stop, a Refuge for insecure posters,
A respite gave to Stoo.
Here were no Trolls or Hellish Toasters;
Barbs were far and few...
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
"He'll stay for a while," was the comment given
By Viola as Stoo thus relaxed.
"He's now as stressed a sinner unshriven,
His faculties have been so taxed.
"Yea, minutae have done their work
In taming this young recruit.
Other tasks he will consider a perk
And thank us for them, to boot."
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Time thus passed, Stoo knew not how much,
When suddenly words broke his snooze
"You have deeds to do and acts and such!
Quickly--you've no time to lose!"
Startled, Stoo rose and was startled to see
A being of mysterious air.
Rum and Uncanny he looked to be;
His features seemed stern yet fair.
"A Long-Lost Thread we must revive!
My sword must be regained!
Into new threads now we must dive!
Later, all will be explained."
Stoo barely had time to bid farewell
To the denizens of this mild land
Before Wood pulled him on like a Sinner from Hell--
New journeys were now at hand.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
"O, what the thread? And where the sword?
And who is the master of the uncanny and rum?"
Young Stoo's head was full of discord
And he felt an urge to phone his mum.
But, no, be bold, be strong, be brave,
For the Lord is with you (or something like that)
Stoo's blood ran cold - he'd have to save
The sword, or pull something else out of the hat.
"But where to start the search?" he asked
"In Purgatory, AS or hell?
Needs must impart, and impart fast,
The answer to the question well!"
--------------------
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
"In Hell, of course," thus proclaimed Wood--
A flagrant plot device.
Will it bring Hellish posts?--from the Hellhosts it should;
Those show-offs need not be asked twice.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
But Lo! With the suddenness one would expect,
Changed was the Heavenly Realm.
Viola was snatched by that proud Elect
The Administrative Helm.
Bel and Coot, though, soon again settled
In lording o'er Heaven's folks,
Tidying threads and not getting nettled
At appearances of lame jokes.
Meanwhile, young Stoo and the mysterious Wood
Were getting closer to Hell,
That place with which no PR firm could do good
No matter the claptrap they'd sell.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Wood
The Milkman of Human Kindness
# 7
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Posted
Meanwhile, teaching Stoo in his Welsh Gothic mansion,
The Uncanny One surveys all the changes,
Noticeably free from worry and tension,
His collection of relics, he arranges.
"Young Stoo," says Wood, "through it all
My place shall survive - mark me well -
The Fortress of Arrogance never shall fall,
Shall outlast Heaven, Purg, Styx and Hell."
But Stoo, he's not listening - he looks to the sky,
His gaze fixed over Wood's shoulder.
"Well, out with it, lad," is Wood's tetchy cry,
"What? I am getting no older!"
But Stoo only points, too dumbfounded to speak,
And he points and makes primate-like noises,
At the spaceship which draws closer like some alien freak,
Its engines now drown out their voices.
--------------------
Narcissism.
Posts: 7842 | From: Wood Towers | Registered: Apr 2001
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
All Stoo can do is gibber and drool,
Then pale, and sway, and fall flat.
Wood sighs impatiently and then
Pulls smelling salts from his hat.
But when young stoo he does awake
The boy can shed no light,
For out the window all is fine;
Just a swirling misty sight.
Bold Wood suggests a walk to clear
Young stoo's addled mind.
So off he trots to get some air,
Leaving The Master behind.
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
Some time later, Stoo returned,
his head unaddled and cleared,
But to his horror, he quickly learned
That Wood and his mansion had disappeared.
"Oh no!" Stoo cried, "Not this! My lord!
This is a horror most ungood!
First goes missing, the GBF sword,
And now is gone my master, Wood!"
Stoo collapsed in dispair and grief,
His head resting on the iron fence,
But in time, he set resolve and gritted his teeth,
He knew he must leave for the Fortress of Arrogance.
"A band I need, some merry men
To aid and abet me on my path
I shall tarry here for volunteers, and then
We'll start our Odyssey, facing the journey's wrath."
--------------------
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
Days had past, and Stoo had found
No-one willing to follow his lead.
He listened for clues, but the only sound
Was that of passing tumbleweed.
--------------------
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
For the cunning Captain Simon J
Had found a way to distract
Stoo's would-be helpers and the like
From finding Wood intact.
He plucked an idea from the boards
And made it all the rage
To put on costumes, learn your part
And play act on the stage.
A Nativity play was just the thing
To make the forget poor Wood.
Whilst the time was drawing near
When he'd be gone for good.
Even stoo was caught up in
The fun and frolics now
Watching, hoping and cackling now
Was Captain J's partner, the Cow.
(Thanks Nunc, for the rhyme!)
--------------------
“Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Thus overwhelmed was the hapless Stoo
By the Board of Nativity.
Out of vanity Herod the role he did do;
Fatally distracted was he.
For Wood the unfathomable still was lost;
Hope of rescue decreased by the hour.
Stoo received accolades--but what was the cost?
Was success now beyond his power?
[typo]
[ 26. December 2002, 16:26: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
And then, the Nativity drew to an end,
The season of Advent was over.
Stoo realised that he had abandoned his friend,
And alone, quickly set off for Dover.
(A ferry, he had to catch, that day,
You see, he felt sure that Master Wood was in Calais)
--------------------
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Stoo thus sailed, quite unknowing
Of any fame acquired,
Until was sighted a small isle showing
Where worshippers had retired.
"Rejoice," cried they, "O S.A.S.,
Our idol has arrived!
O Stoo, your humble fans please bless--
Fulfill our quest contrived!"
Stoo blushed faintly, still not used
To wielding Heaven's cachet.
Quickly he struggled at les mots justes
For the greeting he was to say.
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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lanky_badger
Shipmate
# 3514
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Posted
What then, pray tell, what happened next?
How will the tale unfold?
In Heaven and Hell, we all are vexed:
O please dust off the mould
Of the mighty tale, so we might learn
Of heroes and of harships
Of battles, castles, cities burned
Of finishing one's parsnips.
Wouldst think, with all the time I've had
My rhyming would be better
Forgive me that it is so bad,
You should, this is the way in Heaven.
Dust off the ages, write on Scribes
Who was the Saviour, what the plan?
Think back to times gone by, describe
How Heaven's people were not damned ...
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"He had to accept the fate of every newcomer to a small town where there are plenty of tongues that gossip and few minds that think"
Victor Hugo, Of Myriel. Chapter I, Les Miserables.
Posts: 300 | From: shrewsbury | Registered: Nov 2002
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
Oh tell us please do! This story of yours
The adventures of this mournful day
Pick up the tail in the port of Calais
where Wood does reside so they say.
Upon the boat our young hero did speak
And tell of his quest once again
When a shadowy figure caught his eye
And raced round the boat in the rain.
Young Stoo did pursue the figure he saw
All over the deck of the ship
Until in the light he glimpsed the face
And drank from the flask on his hip.
The person before him, he knew it was so
Was the only one to hold the key
To unlock the dark door of fate
And solve this whole mystery.
(hey! this isn't as hard as it looks!!!)
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Stoo finally caught up with his quarry,
Grasped its billowing cloak, and then
Tore off its hood--he was not sorry,
For he had now discovered Sven!
The unnatural imp of the tribe of Moose
Was balanced on perilous stilts,
But with his capture both came loose
Like dead leaves when greenery wilts.
By its fuzzy antlers Stoo grabbed Sven--
"I have you, Betrayer of Wood!
Tell me his fate, or tonight will mark when
Your existence is stamped out for good!"
--------------------
Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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lanky_badger
Shipmate
# 3514
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Posted
meanwhile, in the future, shipmates looked on
in horror, pity and dread
for some sorry poster started, anon
an everlasting sentences thread
the clever folk got it, always with ease
and replied with witty remarks
but i got confused: my replies, oh no! please!
i've not got the hang of this lark.
some noble man began a wise thread
everything written in rhyme
everyone liked it, but they all said
isn't this wasting our time?
--------------------
"He had to accept the fate of every newcomer to a small town where there are plenty of tongues that gossip and few minds that think"
Victor Hugo, Of Myriel. Chapter I, Les Miserables.
Posts: 300 | From: shrewsbury | Registered: Nov 2002
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WorkInProgress
Shipmate
# 3597
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Posted
Young Sven, he ummed and aah-ed there
And drew his Snickersnee
Stoo let him loose, so they could fight
And he could issue mercy.
Round and round the rugg-ed deck
Our heroes bold both did rove;
First one was up, then one was down,
And on and on they drove;
On, through the watches of the night,
Both man and moose did fight;
Their swords rebounding from the o'rt
When slashed with all their might.
On through the wee small hours they went,
Where none could see their plight,
Until, at last, another came,
As it was getting light:
--------------------
Madkaren reckons I should quit lurking and start posting...
Posts: 349 | From: The middle of the road... | Registered: Nov 2002
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lanky_badger
Shipmate
# 3514
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Posted
it was not 'alf bad, another coming
for as stoo and sven both wearied
from fighting now became confused
their hetero-sexuality queried ...
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"He had to accept the fate of every newcomer to a small town where there are plenty of tongues that gossip and few minds that think"
Victor Hugo, Of Myriel. Chapter I, Les Miserables.
Posts: 300 | From: shrewsbury | Registered: Nov 2002
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WorkInProgress
Shipmate
# 3597
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Posted
The new one was a lady fair
She spoke to Stoo so soft
We'll never know what she did say
But we know she went aloft
Into the Crow's Nest she climbed up
And when she was ascended
She sent a signal to the crew
Re: where this journey ended
The crew aweighed* and sail-ed out
Upon the foaming deep
They left fair France and all her ports
Whilst they were still asleep
Young Sven, the moose, was not perturbed
By sudden change of course
He went on fighting with He'v'n's Stoo
Though he was losing force
And on and on, and on and on,
The two young men fought round
The mast and rigging and, to wit,
They did not make much sound
But Stoo was holding back his strength
For one, last, final blow;
He knew where-fore the Ship was bound -
Where Sven could never go
And so the Ship, she sail-ed on
(With Captain, crew and all),
Past lonely islands in 'La Manche**'
And through some minor squalls
At last they came to country fair,
And Stoo didst use his pow'r,
To force, at last, submission from
This moose he'd fought for hours
The city fair where they didst land
Was Dublin called, by name
This was the place where, the do say
The moose now has his fame
*aweighed = weighed anchor
**La Manche = the English Channel in French
--------------------
Madkaren reckons I should quit lurking and start posting...
Posts: 349 | From: The middle of the road... | Registered: Nov 2002
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
In this fair city Stoo did look
For both the moose and man
In all the pubs and all the bars
To find them if he can
So traveled he around the isle
Til saw he a field of gold
And standing there an Angel bright
Who told him the tales of old
Of shipboard hopes and shining stars
Of magi travelleling long
Of memories deep in every ship mates heart
When listening to the song
At once he knew this Angel fair
And reconised Miss Molly
The quest for Wood is easy now
Stoo repented of his folly.
To find great Wood, he knew now so well
Is easy if he tries,
For Molly Dillon is with him now
In all his Memories
(awful rhymes!)
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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lanky_badger
Shipmate
# 3514
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Posted
Stoo looked out on what had passed
Looked over all his troubles
He welcomed here his newest guest
But was she Molly-coddled?
--------------------
"He had to accept the fate of every newcomer to a small town where there are plenty of tongues that gossip and few minds that think"
Victor Hugo, Of Myriel. Chapter I, Les Miserables.
Posts: 300 | From: shrewsbury | Registered: Nov 2002
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lanky_badger
Shipmate
# 3514
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Posted
"Molly, what do you know of Wood?"
Stoo asked in polite tone
"All that i know", came Molly's words
"Is that he's not at home".
--------------------
"He had to accept the fate of every newcomer to a small town where there are plenty of tongues that gossip and few minds that think"
Victor Hugo, Of Myriel. Chapter I, Les Miserables.
Posts: 300 | From: shrewsbury | Registered: Nov 2002
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WorkInProgress
Shipmate
# 3597
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Posted
Selah
Meanwhile our hero Belsar'us
Was taking forth his plight
(For Heaven was invaded by
A dark demonic sight)
He stood before the door he found -
It was both tall and wide -
And, trembling, he standed there
(For Erin was inside)
The wood was dark and old and stout;
No sound could pass its board;
Our hero bold, he look-ed up
And Bel said, "Oh, my Lord!"
And so it was that he did pray
Whilst kneeling on the mat
He thought about his mission
And held onto his hat
Then Bel decid' to enter in
And so beheld the croc
With leaden loop hung from its jaw
And Bel began to knock
"Fair Erin," said our hero bold,
As open crack'd the door;
He slipp'd inside the fortress great
And spoke to her once more.
"My lady, I have got grave news
No-one knows what to say;
Nor Hosts of H'v'n, nor Hosts of Hell
This monster now can slay"
--------------------
Madkaren reckons I should quit lurking and start posting...
Posts: 349 | From: The middle of the road... | Registered: Nov 2002
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
The Saintly host we must bring in
This Curse^d monster to slay
Brave Nunc, Fair Maddie, and Motherboard
Must come to save the day
Our Hero Bel did run to the Saints
And pleaded for their advice
Their request was fair but harsh to find
A moose, named Sven their price.
The whole ships fate rests on the Moose,
And Bel with Young Stoo did seek him
O'er hills and Dales, Fields and Towns,
They wandered 'til skies grew Dim.
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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