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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: The Bible - warning, likely spoilers
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
Well, I have read up to the end of the Gospels now, so many twists and turns in the plot!
I love the early chapters about Creation and Moses, felt that some bits after that needed a bit of editing. I guess perhaps God is such a big name now that no one dared edit the text down a bit.
Nice introduction of new characters with the prophets, really seems to be building to something.
This Jesus character that was introduced in the last book is certainly one to watch, odd how he suddenly started to dominate, but guess it was an inevitable consequence of the book before, the death was certainly a shock, and sad to see new characters such as Judas killed off so soon.
So what will happen in the next book? My prediction is that Peter will pair off with Mary Magdelene, Jesus will turn out to be Elijha, and everyone will live happily ever after.
Neil
[ 30. March 2004, 05:20: Message edited by: Coot W*nkMeister Eckhardt ]
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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Paige
Shipmate
# 2261
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Posted
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
Neil---I am in an absolutely rotten mood, and that's the first thing I've laughed at all day. Bless you. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Sister Jackhammer of Quiet Reflection
Posts: 886 | From: Sweet Tea Land, USA | Registered: Jan 2002
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
Yes, though re the Gospels isn't it a bit strange having basically the same story told four times over? It doesn't do much for the suspense does it?
Though that last bloke John was a bit strange really in his take on things, do you think he was on something? Certainly had a different perspective to the others...
Not *that* much humour, though it's always difficult with translated texts isn't it? Sometimes you just wonder what that guy Jesus actually said, you have a sense that it was probably really funny at the time...
But some strong female characters, you must admit...
Beats Tolkien into a cocked hat as far as jokes and sex are concerned anyway...
[ 25. July 2003, 18:19: Message edited by: welsh dragon ]
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
Well, I thought that was very effective lurker, though the actual ending so far leaves you wondering a bit. Having him die and then come back to life again . It's sort of confusing for people...is this a comedy or a tragedy?
Though the way for sequels and prequels and, well, co-quels seems to have been left wide open at the end
quote:
Originally written by John:
There are many other things that Jesus did. If every one of them were written down,63 I suppose the whole world64 would not have room for the books that would be written.65
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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MiceElf
Not your average mouse
# 4389
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Posted
ummm this bit where he dies and then comes back to life again .... bit fishy... sounds like Pam Ewings dream in Dallas... cant wait for the sequel.
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What do we want.... Cure for Obesity
When do we want it.... After Dessert.
Posts: 1032 | From: OILOVWOIGHT | Registered: Apr 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
I don't want to give too much away, but I can tell you that it has a cracking ending. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194
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Posted
The prequel should be interesting too.
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"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...
Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
Not enough explicit sex but plenty of mystery. On the whole I doubt it will sell. They will end up giving them away.
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It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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Ms Lilith
Shipmate
# 1767
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Posted
Very funny.
I hate to disapoint you neil but it's pretty much downhill from now on.
Posts: 266 | From: birmingham | Registered: Nov 2001
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shareman
Shipmate
# 2871
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by footdoc:
ummm this bit where he dies and then comes back to life again .... bit fishy... sounds like Pam Ewings dream in Dallas... cant wait for the sequel.
A bit deus ex machina isn't it?
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Israel also came into Egypt, and Jacob was a stranger in the land of Ham.
Posts: 516 | From: on a rock AND a hard place | Registered: May 2002
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irreverentkit
Apostle's Amanuensis
# 4271
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Posted
Oh but now you get this Paul character. Wish there was more plot about him. Once Acts runs out it's just a sort of endless haranguing.
Hang on, though. The end of the book is a wild, wild ride! I see Jerry Bruckheimer as director of the movie version ...
Posts: 1010 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Elizabeth Anne
Altar Girl
# 3555
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Posted
Cease and Desist! ![[Mad]](angryfire.gif)
I'm from the Purity above Rudeness, Unbelievable behavior, Depsicable characters, and Egregious role-models (P.R.U.D.E.) campaign.
This book entitled "The Bible" is not suitable for good, morally-upright families and children.
Don't believe me? Just look through the pages! Kings taking hundreds of wives, cities getting destroyed, sexual exploits that would make the editors of Playboy blush, people nailing each other to two-by-fours, people coming back from the dead...it goes on, my friends!
Do you want your children being exposed to this, oh reasonable reader? Of course you don't. Then please sign my petition to keep this "Bible" out of school libraries, public libraries, and just about anywhere young minds are in danger of corruption.
P.R.U.D.E. Building a more homogenized tomorrow. For the children.
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Born under a bad sign with a blue moon in my eyes...
Posts: 974 | From: New York | Registered: Nov 2002
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Eanswyth
Ship's raven
# 3363
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Posted
nervous whisper
Um, Elizabeth Anne, that was too scary.
Posts: 1323 | From: San Diego | Registered: Sep 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Neil (starbelly):
...felt that some bits after that needed a bit of editing...
Especially all those and-so-and-so-begot-so-and-sos. Fercryinoutloud, just put all that in a supplement like the Silmarillion if some people want to get that geeky about it.
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Zwingli
Shipmate
# 4438
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Posted
It seems to be a detective story really, with clues to what is going to happen in the second part hidden in the first. The concordance at the end tells you what all the clues were, except it calls them "prophecies" for some reason. And apparantly some of them haven't been finished yet.
No cheating by looking up the clues in the concordance!!! Not that I read all of the first part first ![[Embarrassed]](icon_redface.gif)
Posts: 4283 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
All the stuff about Joseph of Arimathea handing over the Holy Grail to he Knights Templar seemed a bit far-fetched.
But it was very subtly woven into the rest of the plot anyway.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Didn't researchers find a fifth Gospel? I am not a theologian or even a preacher's kid (just a lector a few times a year) but I think I heard something about it. ![[Help]](graemlins/help.gif) ![[Not worthy!]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Abishag
Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710
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Posted
Did you spot my little role???? I hope I came across well - I mean it's hard doing the surreal thing - never played a hot water bottle before!
I read this review of Paul's books by some bod called Josephus - liked this bit:
"Paul, a small, bald, hunchbacked man with a large, hooked nose..."
Don't suppose he got many offers, then!
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http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com
Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by paigeb:
Neil---I am in an absolutely rotten mood, and that's the first thing I've laughed at all day. Bless you.
ditto! I can not wait to see how this story pans out!!
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote Elizabeth Anne
quote:
Do you want your children being exposed to this, oh reasonable reader? Of course you don't. Then please sign my petition to keep this "Bible" out of school libraries, public libraries, and just about anywhere young minds are in danger of corruption.
P.R.U.D.E. Building a more homogenized tomorrow. For the children.
Bowdler Was Right.
I think there should only be a "Lamb's" version of the Bible available to the public. It can have all the pretty and edifying parts like Moses Saved from the Bullrushes and the simpler Parables. With colorful pictures.
A few copies of the unexpurgated version can remain in scholarly collections. Someone has to deal with the indelicate parts. ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
[ 26. July 2003, 15:42: Message edited by: Lyda Rose of Sharon ]
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Second Mouse
Citizen of Grand Fenwick
# 2793
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
Well, I thought that was very effective lurker, though the actual ending so far leaves you wondering a bit. Having him die and then come back to life again . It's sort of confusing for people...is this a comedy or a tragedy?
The author has no originality, this dieing and coming back thing is so obviously lifted straight from Gandalf in LotR. ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
Claire
Posts: 1254 | From: West Yorkshire | Registered: May 2002
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Lurker McLurker™
Ship's stowaway
# 1384
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
A few copies of the unexpurgated version can remain in scholarly collections. Someone has to deal with the indelicate parts.
Nah, I don't think the indelicate parts should only be read by scholars. I think anyone should be able to read them.
Apart from women and children, obviously.
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Just War Theory- a perversion of morality?
Posts: 5661 | From: Raxacoricofallapatorius | Registered: Sep 2001
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GeordieDownSouth
Shipmate
# 4100
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Second Mouse:
quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
Well, I thought that was very effective lurker, though the actual ending so far leaves you wondering a bit. Having him die and then come back to life again . It's sort of confusing for people...is this a comedy or a tragedy?
The author has no originality, this dieing and coming back thing is so obviously lifted straight from Gandalf in LotR.
Claire
I understood the whole thing was an allegory to present C.S. Lewis' Narnia books to an older generation. And the four perspective story telling.. a masterpiece of post modernism.
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No longer down south.
Posts: 689 | From: Birmingham | Registered: Feb 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
I think the author hasn’t had any formal writing training, or he or she would not have made the basic mistake of having main characters with names starting with the same letter (makes it too confusing for the reader). Clearly that are too many ‘J’s – Jesus, James, John (how many Johns were there).
And the whole Elijah/Elisha thing is just too much.
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lurker:
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
A few copies of the unexpurgated version can remain in scholarly collections. Someone has to deal with the indelicate parts.
Nah, I don't think the indelicate parts should only be read by scholars. I think anyone should be able to read them.
Apart from women and children, obviously.
You and Samuel Clemens would have gotten along fine.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
Overall some great ideas but I have some problems with the title. Our marketing people can surely come up with something better that "the Bible". Ok, so "Bible" is only one syllable, but it lacks easy recognition - you know what I mean?
And this idea of a whole heap of different writers has got to go. Sure, so there's meant to be a guiding mind behind it all but it lacks coherence - dare I say some parts even seem to cotradict others.
I'm not sure what it does for the dignity women either. Imeantersay a hot water bottle? even if it is only a bit part.
My considered opinion is it will never sell in its current form, let alone win any major literary prize.
Huia- literary editor to the stars
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Overall some great ideas but I have some problems with the title. Our marketing people can surely come up with something better that "the Bible". Ok, so "Bible" is only one syllable, but it lacks easy recognition - you know what I mean?
Bible has only one syllable?
What parts are you from, pardner?
My only concern title-wise is pronunciation. Might not people think it's pronounced bib'-el (short i). I'm afraid it might make some people giggle which is not what you want in a book of over eight hundred pages. It sounds too much like a silly board game.
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Clay_Pigeon
Mathematics
# 2516
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
Didn't researchers find a fifth Gospel? I am not a theologian or even a preacher's kid (just a lector a few times a year) but I think I heard something about it.
They found the fifth Gospel, but the author never finished it. It reads more like an outline. Once the buzz about the first four dies down, the publisher will probably have a well-known author (like Tom Clancy or Stephen King) fill in the gaps and release it to jack up sales again.
Also look for "boxed sets" with all of the Gospels and supplementary materials in them.
-Troy
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THAT'S IT! NOW I'M PISSED!. You're so off my prayer list.
-Was Once Troy
Posts: 599 | From: Northeast Ohio | Registered: Mar 2002
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Paul W.
Shipmate
# 1450
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Posted
I got a copy signed by the author. I was going to sell it on Ebay, but if anyone here wants it, let me know.
Paul W
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"It's just a ride" - Bill Hicks
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Posts: 2835 | From: Leeds, UK | Registered: Oct 2001
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starbelly
but you can call me Neil
# 25
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Posted
I am suprised the author sold the merchandise rights so readily, I saw a Bible locket, and cards with Bible verses on the other day! No doubt there will be a film soon...
Neil
Posts: 6009 | From: High Wycombe, Buckinghamshire. | Registered: May 2001
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shareman
Shipmate
# 2871
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Neil (starbelly):
I am suprised the author sold the merchandise rights so readily, I saw a Bible locket, and cards with Bible verses on the other day! No doubt there will be a film soon...
Neil
Then there's that whole role playing business. Gets a little like Rocky Horror fandom at times! We'll soon have to look at 'em lining up outside of theatres and stuff in strange getups.
[ 28. July 2003, 21:02: Message edited by: shareman ]
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Israel also came into Egypt, and Jacob was a stranger in the land of Ham.
Posts: 516 | From: on a rock AND a hard place | Registered: May 2002
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Huia
Shipmate
# 3473
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
quote:
Originally posted by Huia:
Overall some great ideas but I have some problems with the title. Our marketing people can surely come up with something better that "the Bible". Ok, so "Bible" is only one syllable, but it lacks easy recognition - you know what I mean?
Bible has only one syllable?
Hey! I'm a literary agent to the stars, I'm don't do spelling, grammer and that kind of stuff. ( )
Huia - going to do pennance somewhere warm -like bed.
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Charity gives food from the table, Justice gives a place at the table.
Posts: 10382 | From: Te Wai Pounamu | Registered: Oct 2002
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clare
Contributing Editor
# 17
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Posted
I'm surprised no-one has mentioned the highly bizarre structuring format. Given the diversity of authers, some irregularities in book content is understandable, but one would have hoped that the editor would have had the courage to be a little more 'hands on' in pulling together a more intergrated volume. Were there no guidelines as to book length? It makes for an incredibily unbalenced read to have some books of over 100 chapters, and others that can be read in a minute. Some rationale, some serious pruning, some grouping of minor missives is certainly needed. Certainly, they'll have a problem if they ever want to go down the serialization route.
Another point where editorial weakness is apparent is in the book titles. The default setting appears to be simply the authers name... fair enough, but this gets muddled in with place names, content indicators, historic periods and simply random labling. The name + numbering devise is incredibly clumsey and points to hasty decision making before a deadline. All in all a failed opportunity to give structure, orientation and a more intangablie ethos and resonence to the artistic focus of the book. (For comparison, see 'Unless' by Carol Sheilds).
And don't get me started on the pratice of numbering 'verses'! Tiny super-script numbers poked in any what where? Very distracting. Thank God that hasn't caught on, and that our other great works of fiction aren't similarly plauged.
clare
Posts: 2317 | From: edge of the peak district | Registered: May 2001
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Beenster
Shipmate
# 242
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Posted
I don't like the paper used so skipped through and read the last page first. Far too many words if you ask me.
Posts: 1885 | Registered: May 2001
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