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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Advice for new Apprentices
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
don't take it personally, Angel, Chapelhead was being just as rude about Shropshire a few posts ago. (I hope it's a lovely place, as I'm going there on holiday this year...)
Remember the rules on this thread - things are not what they seem.
All apprentices should remember the only place in the world that is worth visiting is Cream Tealand ![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Got a favourite topic that you just can't stop banging on about? Are all your friends getting tired of you bringing it up all day and night? Can you turn a potentially interesting discussion into a mind-numbing re-run of what you went on about yesterday, until someone tried to strangle you?
If yes, SoF needs YOU!. Dedication and persistence are rewarded here.
Start your discussion in a new thread on any board and watch it go. Or not. If it does not go (or, if it does for a while then dies) start it again on another board, with a twist. Make sure the title of your thread cleverly disguises the fact that it is a re-run of your old thread. When that dies, go to yet another board and another title. Administrators are a bit dim and won't notice that it's just you again, with your hobby-horse.
In the meantime, bring your pet subject into as many other threads as you can. No matter how inappropriate the title may seem, you can work it in. You can probably even turn it into a game in The Circus. Go for it.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958
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Posted
Well, I read the first page and a half and got a bit bored so I don't know what's been discussed after that but I thought I'd boost my quest toward being a full shipmate by posting. Thanks for the hint's on hell, I'll be sure to take them onboard. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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#...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#
Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Silver Indian, you clearly took on a whole lot of the advice on this thread.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958
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Posted
Do i read a slight hint of sarcasm Mr Cresswell? (ooooh, another post!)
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#...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#
Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
That would be Dr Cresswell to you. Or Sir.
The Apprentices of today ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
That would be Dr Cresswell to you. Or Sir.
The Apprentices of today
They're just not up to the calibre of those we used to get on the old boards, are they? ![[brick wall]](graemlins/brick_wall.gif)
Stitch ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel*:
Chapelhead
I really must take you to Hell if you keep on upsetting me.
I was born in Sussex - a wonderful county and now live in Surrey - another lovely place to live.
How come you hate both counties with so much venom.
PS Sorry to go off on a tangent in this very helpful advice thread!
Angel - you are a soul friend. ![[Angel]](graemlins/angel.gif) I was brought up in Sussex (though not Bognor Regis), moved to Surrey, moved to Bog, moved to Berks,fled the country, moved back to Berks. I won't have a word said against them!
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
Miffy! ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
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Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
"Berks."
Says it all really.
(34)
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Chorister
Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Chapelhead are you on a forfeit to name as many counties as possible in as few threads as possible, or something?
What young Bucks set you up to this?
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Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chorister:
Chapelhead are you on a forfeit to name as many counties as possible in as few threads as possible, or something?
Another thing that Apprentices should be able to learn without too much difficulty is finding a single idea to post on constantly, even if it has nothing to do with the OP.
The best thing about Devon is that it has some good roads so you can get out of the county quickly. Unfortunately they lead to Cornwall.
(That counts as two).
Can anyone name any town in Herfordshire (apart, obviously, from Hertford). But then, why would you want to?
(31)
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
Chapelhead - Herfordshire - can't you spell?
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Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Amphibalus
Cloak of anonymity
# 5351
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Can anyone name any town in Herfordshire (apart, obviously, from Hertford). But then, why would you want to?
As a native Albanian, whose spiritual home is the resting place of the proto-martyr of England (St Albans - there I've named one!), I would just like to say....
paints on Groucho moustache, sticks cigar in mouth, waggles eyebrows, walks along with bent knees
...'This means war!'
(OK, so the rest of Hertfordshire is full of New Towns - point made ![[Two face]](graemlins/scot_twoface.gif) )
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I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein. (Warren Zevon)
Posts: 1471 | From: Home of Ronnie Radford's boot | Registered: Dec 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Angel*:
Chapelhead - Herfordshire - can't you spell?
Taking the 't' is like taking the p***, but at an earlier stage. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Ariel
Shipmate
# 58
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Can anyone name any town in Herfordshire (apart, obviously, from Hertford). But then, why would you want to?
Ah, you're thinking of Watford again, aren't you. Serve you right. Let me add to your pain by mentioning Stevenage and Hemel Hempstead.
Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Can anyone name any town in Herfordshire (apart, obviously, from Hertford). But then, why would you want to?
Ah, you're thinking of Watford again, aren't you. Serve you right. Let me add to your pain by mentioning Stevenage and Hemel Hempstead.
Hitchen, where I was born. My late Grandad used to call me a "Hertfordshire hedgehog". Never did work out the connection.
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2^8, eight bits to a byte
Posts: 3967 | From: Sydney Australia | Registered: Aug 2002
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yesod
Shipmate
# 5429
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Posted
Well I'm catholic not Catholic but...
...I do have a rosary blessed by the pope
...i do have an NIV
How does that rate
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
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Pax - Glen
www.pixel7.com.au
Posts: 385 | From: Dwelling | Registered: Jan 2004
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yesod
Shipmate
# 5429
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Yesod:
Well I'm catholic not Catholic but...
...I do have a rosary blessed by the pope
...i do have an NIV
How does that rate
Make sure you post in the right thread ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif)
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Pax - Glen
www.pixel7.com.au
Posts: 385 | From: Dwelling | Registered: Jan 2004
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
There's nothing better than teaching by example.
Welcome, Yesod.
And for the people living in Hertfordshire, you can console yourselves, at least it isn't Staffordshire.
(30)
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Left at the Altar
Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
And Ballarat is God's own country.
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Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
Posts: 9111 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Spookyrach
Apprentice
# 5381
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Posted
Have hastily read all six pages of advice while I was supposed to be working. Am now deeply concerned by the fact that I have nothing to say, but feel a need to put the advice to use. Especially after wasting - ummm, I mean investing - all this time! Is this a sin?
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Spookyrach
Questioning authority, but basically satisfied with the answers.
Posts: 8 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Spookyrach:
Is this a sin?
Reading anything I have posted is never a sin.
Nice sig, BTW.
Now should I comment about Texas?
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Spookyrach
Apprentice
# 5381
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Posted
Feel free. We could use some humility fodder around here.
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Spookyrach
Questioning authority, but basically satisfied with the answers.
Posts: 8 | From: Texas | Registered: Jan 2004
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Papio
Ship's baboon
# 4201
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Duo Seraphim:
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
quote:
Originally posted by Chapelhead:
Can anyone name any town in Herfordshire (apart, obviously, from Hertford). But then, why would you want to?
Ah, you're thinking of Watford again, aren't you. Serve you right. Let me add to your pain by mentioning Stevenage and Hemel Hempstead.
Hitchen, where I was born. My late Grandad used to call me a "Hertfordshire hedgehog". Never did work out the connection.
I have family in Hitchin. I could understand a squirrel reference due to the "famous" Balck Squirrels around Hitchin, Letchworth etc.
Can I say that I have also lived in Letchworth and that it, together with the entirety of its surrounding area, is a total dump?
Cheers.
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Infinite Penguins.
My "Readit, Swapit" page
My "LibraryThing" page
Posts: 12176 | From: a zoo in England. | Registered: Mar 2003
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musician
Ship's grin without a cat
# 4873
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Posted
quote:
Can I say that I have also lived in Letchworth and that it, together with the entirety of its surrounding area, is a total dump?
If that includes Hitchin, that can't be right.
I once heard Peter Hurford play the organ in St Mary's one summer evening.
Truly awesome.
And then there's Hitchin market, where my dad bought a brightly coloured blanket 36 years ago for 2/6d and now it's the dog's.
Posts: 1569 | Registered: Aug 2003
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
Letchworth? I wonder if like Leck-field etc this placename is connected to the growing of leeks.
They were a very popular and flavoursome vegetable in medieval times and a surprisingly large number of place names have -leek- as a root.
Mmmmmmmmmmmm leeks mmmmmmmmmmmmm yum...especially in cheese sauce. Or little baby leeks steamed. Or leeks perking up soup with a hint of onion flavour. Such a perfect marriage of taste and texture...as long as you get the fiddly bits of dirt out...
Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
As a newcomer you will be able to see things clearly, without all the preconceptions that have led others into error. Please point out the mistakes that others have made, in very simple language, so that they can see how stupid they have been.
A very good area to start is explaining the faults of another country. British posters need to be reminded that they live in a police state where there is no freedom of speech. American posters all agree with the President (it's such a small country), and find it really helpful to be challenged about this.
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Mertseger
Faerie Bard
# 4534
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Posted
One of the major goals of posting on SOF is to attempt to derail and and kill any thread that you don't like. One of the best methods for doing so is to pick an unrelated topic that a few people on board might be interested in but that everyone else finds INCREDIBLY BORING and then run on endlessly with brief posts about that topic with the few mindless sheep (or, at least, the wolves in mindless sheep clothing that agree with you that the the thread should be killed) who you can engage in doing so. Some topics along these lines might include vegetables; references (the obscurer the better) to the works of Douglas Adams, C. S. Lewis, Monty Python or Terry Pratchett; cheeses; or stereotypical British geography.
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Go and be who you are:
The Body of Christ,
The Goddess of Body,
The Manifest Song of Faerie.
Posts: 1765 | From: Oakland, CA, USA | Registered: May 2003
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
[ Was about to get all Hostly about the geography tangent, but it looks like things are back on course ]
[ 22. January 2004, 18:35: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
Speaking about body parts and bodily functions is welcomed on the ship. particularly the comments which allow you to use the
![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) smilie
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Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
And spreading love and Christian kindness to Hell is especially appreciated so use the axe-murd...love smilie there at every opportunity. But don't limit yourself. Try spreading the love in Keryg. It will make their crusty, pedantic hearts go pitty-pat.
![[Axe murder]](graemlins/lovedrops.gif)
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Remember that there is nothing more important than passing significant landmarks in the number of posts you have.
This is, for example, my 6000th post.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Jen.
Godless Liberal
# 3131
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Posted
completly blank posts are always amusing and useful in a discussion.
and it show how wonderful a comand of UBB you have.
J
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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.
Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002
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Jen.
Godless Liberal
# 3131
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Posted
Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002
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Jen.
Godless Liberal
# 3131
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Posted
see?
J.
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Was Jenny Ann, but fancied being more minimal.
Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002
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Matrix
Shipmate
# 3452
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Posted
To all apprentices, Kishi's list is an impressive one, but fails to mention the importance of custard. You'd do well to remember the love that shipmates have for this stuff, and that they can wax lyrical for hours if allowed to do so.
Regards
M UK
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Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place. - Garden State
Posts: 3847 | From: The courts of the King | Registered: Oct 2002
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
How to apologise
"I'm sorry you're offended, but there was nothing wrong with what I said and if you've taken offence it's your own stupid fault for being too thin-skinned and too thick to realise the correctness of what I've said. So let me pat you on the head and say 'Ah, diddums' and all will be well".
[I don't believe I've mentions Leicestershire. And aren't you glad.]
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
Whenever you find things becoming a bit sticky for you, just throw out some random scripture, preceded by these exact words: "The Bible says..." Then say no more. The other posters will be so touched and enlightened they will acquiesce to your every whim.
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
Why Chapelhead and Grits, who CAN you be referring to? ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
Well, I could actually be referring to myself...
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Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Robert Armin
All licens'd fool
# 182
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Posted
At the age of 28 maybe . . . .
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Keeping fit was an obsession with Fr Moity .... He did chin ups in the vestry, calisthenics in the pulpit, and had developed a series of Tai-Chi exercises to correspond with ritual movements of the Mass. The Antipope Robert Rankin
Posts: 8927 | From: In the pack | Registered: May 2001
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
Moi?
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Boopy
Shipmate
# 4738
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Posted
If you don't really have anything to say on a thread, but want to express friendly interest, be sure to start a side game of noughts and crosses in the middle of a fierce debate. This is always a welcome tangent in a Purgatory thread, and people will fight to join in your game.
_[ ]_
_[0]_
_[ ]_
Posts: 1170 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
I agree.
X[ ]_
_[0]_
_[ ]_
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Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
It is even better to do it in Hell, especially on a thread that a Hellhost has specifically said is important and shouldn't be messed with in such a manner. Remember Hellhosts are really fluffy bunnies putting on an act, and really do prefer to see fluffy stuff in Hell.
X[ ]0
_[0]_
_[ ]_
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Boopy
Shipmate
# 4738
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Posted
......and do insist on completing your game; remember the board rules don't apply to you, as a newcomer, and it's very rude not to finish any tangent you may have started. You may need to politely remind any lurking Hosts that you haven't quite finished your game, should they kindly show an interest.
X[ ]0
_[0]_
0[ ]_ ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
Be sure to draw attention to your win with lots of boastful smilies, too. Try to arrange for this to happen when the thread argument is at its height; people will appreciate your efforts to calm things down. Finally, don't forget to start a special new thread in Purgatory about strategies for noughts and crosses, with a link to your winning post; this will help everyone to get to know you quickly, and you'll be amazed at the swift response.
Posts: 1170 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Remember this is a magazine of Christian Unrest. Therefore, unconventional is perfectly right. Like the unconventional move of putting an 0 into a game of noughts and crosses, despite the conventional next move being a X.
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Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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