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» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Heaven: Advice for new Apprentices (Page 7)

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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Advice for new Apprentices
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Therefore, unconventional is perfectly right. Like the unconventional move of putting an 0 into a game of noughts and crosses, despite the conventional next move being a X.

And I thought this was supposed to be a Christian site. [Disappointed]

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!

Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Boopy
Shipmate
# 4738

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quote:
Originally posted by Alan Cresswell:
Remember this is a magazine of Christian Unrest. Therefore, unconventional is perfectly right. Like the unconventional move of putting an 0 into a game of noughts and crosses, despite the conventional next move being a X.

Hmmm. Thinks.

Two possible responses to this Alan:

a) fair cop, hoist by mine own petard, etc, which is true but not relevant to the thread, or,

b) this was merely a demonstration of the way in which Apprentices are encouraged to play games according to odd, unconventional rules no one else has heard of, and then make a fuss when people call them on it.

In MY noughts and crosses game according to Boopy's Rules, the next move was, of course, a 0. [Devil]

Posts: 1170 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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I think that either Boopy should call Alan to Hell, or the other way round - I'm just not sure which.

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!

Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
siobhan
Apprentice
# 5464

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I am a newbie - well, an old member who got lost -and I have a question. No, really.
Is there anyone on this board where one can post announcements? e.g. this?
I wondered about making an announcement, asking for fiction etc, in All Saints. What do you more experienced types reckon (obviously this is an academic-type announce and I wouldn't want to post it in the wrong place). Would it be offensive to ask in Purgatory?

Remainder of post deleted by Member Admin - see below

[ 28. January 2004, 20:44: Message edited by: RuthW ]

Posts: 1 | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
Annie P

Ship's galley maid
# 3453

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Hi Soibhan and welcome to the ship. I hope you enjoy your time here.

Just working on a hunch, don't take this the wrong way, I have a feeling that the announcement might be seen as a form of advertising. As such you would be better to contact the editors of the ship directly to see what they say. I hear their rates are very reasonable. [Biased]

Any questions relating to where things should go, what you should do (if not in the FAQ's) need to be posted in the Styx. (The boards about the boards).

Alternatively, if you were to follow the advice on this thread, just post it on the first board which you take a fancy to.*

*Anti derailment statement [Biased] . (Did you see what I did there??? [Big Grin] )

--------------------
Older now, but not necessarily wiser.

Posts: 3248 | From: stockton-on-tees | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
RuthW

liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13

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Admin hat on

siobhan: First, if you have previously registered for the boards, please use that registration.

Second, if you would like to advertise on the Ship, please contact Simon regarding the rates. If you would like to put a short announcement (4 lines or less saying something like "PM or email me for information about submitting to such and such a journal) in your signature, that would be fine.

RuthW
Member Admin

[typos]

[ 28. January 2004, 21:01: Message edited by: RuthW ]

Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Zwingli
Shipmate
# 4438

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Members of a magazine of Christian Unrest are obviously disappointed with their current churches, so just invite them to yours! They will be in no way annoyed that you keep asking and asking, and saying how wonderful and friendly everyone is there will only encourage them to come. Link to your churches web page on every thread you post on and say the doctrine statement explains your point perfectly; the hosts will love you for this.

Develop a crush on a shipmate based solely on their posting style. Tell them how much you agree and how cute you think their avatar is. Ignore any actual photos of them from shipmeets or linked to through their profile. Ask if they resemble their avatar. Erin in particular will be won over by this approach.

Remember you need 50 posts to become a shipmate but can apply to be a Host after just 20. Make 20 posts in Heaven then apply to host in Hell.

Posts: 4283 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958

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This post (50) should mean I'm not an apprentice any more! [Yipee]

--------------------
#...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#

Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129

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Nope, as many Apprentices mis-understand.. it's the 51st post that means you graduate to a Real Person™.

Gremlin

--------------------
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.

Until then you're just a fluffy bunny. [Biased]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Robert Porter-Miller

Tiocfaidh Separabit
# 1459

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By this logic Real Velveteen Rabbit™ status should be aceived at 1001

--------------------
It's a beautiful day - don't let it get away - Bono and the boys

Let's all "Release Some Tension"

Posts: 1231 | From: Washington, D.C. | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Snooty Fox

Ruminator, cogitator, procrastinator
# 5470

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quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.

Until then you're just a fluffy bunny. [Biased]

Pictures...bunnies and rabbits...sitting at their computers...in all seriousness...glasses perched at end of nose, paw on chin... [Ultra confused]

-SF-

--------------------
Don't worry, I got an idea. An idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
-Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Posts: 253 | From: Northants | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
musician

Ship's grin without a cat
# 4873

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..with a dooling, licking-of-lips Snooty Fox in the background tip-toeing ever closer....

[Snigger]

Posts: 1569 | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Snooty Fox

Ruminator, cogitator, procrastinator
# 5470

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It all seems a bit modern-day Beatrix Potter. The Tale of Mr Fluffy Bunny.com [Roll Eyes]

-SF-

--------------------
Don't worry, I got an idea. An idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about.
-Peter Griffin, Family Guy

Posts: 253 | From: Northants | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged
Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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quote:
Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon:
And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.

Until then you're just a fluffy bunny. [Biased]

Hear, hear! [Big Grin]

--------------------
"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
*The lowly Church mouse*

Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690

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At 750 posts you get a bar of Green & Blacks Chocolate and 2000 posts reward you with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin.

The hosts just love sending out all these prizes - posts mean prizes a la Bruce Forsyth [Big Grin]

--------------------
Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.

Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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quote:
Originally posted by Angel*:
At 750 posts you get a bar of Green & Blacks Chocolate and 2000 posts reward you with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin.

The hosts just love sending out all these prizes - posts mean prizes a la Bruce Forsyth [Big Grin]

Hey! Where the hell are my chocolate and gin? [Mad]

Although if gin is in short supply (hoping, hoping) I'd graciously accept belated Stoli Vodka.

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958

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OK, so now am I no longer an appentice?
[Big Grin]

--------------------
#...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#

Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
Jonah the Whale

Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244

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Congratulations Silver Indian!

quote:
Originally posted by Gremlin:
It's the 51st post that means you graduate to a Real Person™.

Unless you happen to be a celebrity organist.

[ 13. February 2004, 10:35: Message edited by: Jonah the Whale ]

Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
NO
Shipmate
# 5477

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Argh - rumbled!! [Ultra confused]
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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quote:
Members of a magazine of Christian Unrest are obviously disappointed with their current churches, so just invite them to yours!
What a good idea! I'm a Prison Chaplain...any apprentices want to come to my Church? [Big Grin]

I can say this because I've just noticed I'm not an apprentice any longer! [Cool]

Abishag

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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Chapelhead you haven't got round to my county yet...it's one of those with no vowels in its name.

Abishag

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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When no-one replies to your posts; keep on posting and talking to yourself. Everyone is reading your posts with bated breath and great respect!

Abishag

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pānts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
When no-one replies to your posts; keep on posting and talking to yourself. Everyone is reading your posts with bated breath and great respect!

Abishag

[Overused]


[Snigger]

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Chapelhead you haven't got round to my county yet...it's one of those with no vowels in its name.

Clywd?

(Of course, in Welsh, it has exactly the same spelling, but the 'y' and the 'w' are both vowels)

Gremlin

--------------------
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?

Abishag

[ 15. February 2004, 20:39: Message edited by: Abishag ]

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pānts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

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bore da. rydw'n hoffi beico yn y mynedd achos rydw'n hoffi y cae ( [Disappointed] my spelling always was crap in english...what hope have i got in welsh!!)

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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Helo pants - sut wyt ti? Ble ydy Zumoid yng Nghymru??? [Confused] Raidd i fi ymarfer fy Gymraeg eto.

Abishag

Yes; new apprentices - all the shipmates speak Welsh and it is important to converse with each of them in Welsh on your first encounter.

[ 15. February 2004, 20:51: Message edited by: Abishag ]

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
St. Punk the Pious

Biblical™ Punk
# 683

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What kind of drugs are you Heavenly druggy bunnies using?

--------------------
The Society of St. Pius *
Wannabe Anglican, Reader
My reely gud book.

Posts: 4161 | From: Choral Evensong | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Lyda*Rose

Ship's broken porthole
# 4544

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What kind of drugs do you want, Mark? [Biased]

--------------------
"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano

Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?

Close. I live near Flintshire, but originate many other places. [Smile]

Actually, Clwyd no longer exists, it is now Flintshire, Denbighshire and Conwy. However, many postcode-lookup databases still have it has Clwyd [Mad]

Gremlin

--------------------
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pānts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Helo pants - sut wyt ti? Ble ydy Zumoid yng Nghymru??? [Confused] Raidd i fi ymarfer fy Gymraeg eto.

fine ta. its not... its in another world!!! even further away than wales!! [Snigger] something about welsh... but i dunno wat!!

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Chapelhead*

Ship’s Photographer
# 1143

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Chapelhead you haven't got round to my county yet...it's one of those with no vowels in its name.

I haven't been isulting any counties recently as I've been away for 10 days (and not a single post or PM saying "Where's Chapelhead?" [Disappointed] ).

Actually I had only planned to insult the English counties, on the grounds that everywhere west of the border is just too God-awful to need insulting. This is especially the case for Clwyd, a place so bad that the powers-that-be could only stand it for 22 years before putting it out of our misery. A mercy killing if ever there was.

--------------------
Benedikt Gott Geschickt!

Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
*The lowly Church mouse*

Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690

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In the light of current discussion in The Styx - make sure you have at least 5 lines in your signature.
The hosts and admins will love you for it. [Biased]

--------------------
Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.

Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pānts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

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dont ever use punctuation or capital letters

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
NO
Shipmate
# 5477

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It is a tradition that all new members should use their first post in the following way:

Go to the board marked "Hell", and create a thread entitled "Calling Erin". The content of the OP is really not important. As you will soon find out. [Devil]

Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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quote:
Originally posted by Gremlin:
quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?

Close. I live near Flintshire, but originate many other places. [Smile]

Actually, Clwyd no longer exists, it is now Flintshire, Denbighshire and Conwy. However, many postcode-lookup databases still have it has Clwyd [Mad]

Gremlin

I was one of those insisting upon using it when I lived there! The alternative was the County Borough of Wrexham (which you left out of your list...you obviously found it memorable! [Big Grin] )

Chapelhead - thank you for the insult which was first class! Now can I trouble you to insult Bromsgrove?

Pants - ble ydy Zumoid? dw i'n eishi ymweld yno! Yes there is something about Welsh...well maybe not my Welsh! [Big Grin]

advice to apprentices; when using the reply with quotes button, never edit the contents of the post you are quoting - no matter how many previous quotes have been used within it!

Abishag

[ 19. February 2004, 17:20: Message edited by: Abishag ]

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pānts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

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quote:
Originally posted by Abishag:
Pants - ble ydy Zumoid? dw i'n eishi ymweld yno! Yes there is something about Welsh...well maybe not my Welsh! [Big Grin]

Abishag

zumoid is ... well... kinda in mr pants strange mind (yes he's almost as bad as me!!!). [Big Grin]

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
Abishag

Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710

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Bad is the best way to be, isn't it? Being good never got me very far.....wish I could be really bad! It's this Christian guilt stuff that's the problem.....

Abishag

--------------------
http://www.celticheads.com
http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com

Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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.......keep your nose clean and always wear clean underwear!

[Big Grin] [Biased] [Cool] [Roll Eyes] [Snigger] [Yipee]

--------------------
If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Alan Cresswell

Mad Scientist 先生
# 31

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Insert a string of random smilies at the end of every post.

[Smile] [Frown] [Mad] [Roll Eyes] [Confused] [Disappointed] [Snore] [Paranoid]

--------------------
Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.

Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Matrix
Shipmate
# 3452

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ahem..

Timely bump to tie in with current styx thread...

M UK

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Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place. - Garden State

Posts: 3847 | From: The courts of the King | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
barrea
Shipmate
# 3211

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Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks

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Therefore having been justified by faith,we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1

Posts: 1050 | From: england | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

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Gee, I would think that would depend on how and where you say it.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129

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quote:
Originally posted by barrea:
Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks

Not yet. Did you?

Gremlin

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Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
*The lowly Church mouse*

Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690

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Steal other peoples ideas. Find something on a thread which you think may be eye-catching and reproduce it as your own work.

Everyone will love you for it and along will come lots of smilies.

[Overused] [Axe murder] [Overused] [Axe murder] [Overused]

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Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.

Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Pyx_e

Quixotic Tilter
# 57

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quote:
Originally posted by barrea:
Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks

Funny cos I really think you are an asshat. What do I do now, just sit and wait for the suspension?

Where is the twiddleing thumbs smilie?

P

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It is better to be Kind than right.

Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
barrea
Shipmate
# 3211

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quote:
Originally posted by Gremlin:
quote:
Originally posted by barrea:
Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks

Not yet. Did you?

Gremlin

Yes just after I started, But that is water under the bridge now.

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Therefore having been justified by faith,we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1

Posts: 1050 | From: england | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Stoo

Mighty Pirate
# 254

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[Tricorne hat on]

Pyx_e, Gremlin and Barrea,

If you have a problem with each other, take it to Hell.

Barrea, if you have a problem with Ship policy, take it to the Styx.

[Tricorne hat off]

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This space left blank

Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129

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Sorry, that came across (with re-reading 24 hours later) as rather more agressive than intended.

Gremlin

--------------------
Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...
Oh I get it... like humour... but different.

Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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