Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Advice for new Apprentices
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Alan Cresswell: Therefore, unconventional is perfectly right. Like the unconventional move of putting an 0 into a game of noughts and crosses, despite the conventional next move being a X.
And I thought this was supposed to be a Christian site.
-------------------- Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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Boopy
Shipmate
# 4738
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Alan Cresswell: Remember this is a magazine of Christian Unrest. Therefore, unconventional is perfectly right. Like the unconventional move of putting an 0 into a game of noughts and crosses, despite the conventional next move being a X.
Hmmm. Thinks.
Two possible responses to this Alan:
a) fair cop, hoist by mine own petard, etc, which is true but not relevant to the thread, or,
b) this was merely a demonstration of the way in which Apprentices are encouraged to play games according to odd, unconventional rules no one else has heard of, and then make a fuss when people call them on it.
In MY noughts and crosses game according to Boopy's Rules, the next move was, of course, a 0.
Posts: 1170 | From: UK | Registered: Jul 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
I think that either Boopy should call Alan to Hell, or the other way round - I'm just not sure which.
-------------------- Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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siobhan
Apprentice
# 5464
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Posted
I am a newbie - well, an old member who got lost -and I have a question. No, really. Is there anyone on this board where one can post announcements? e.g. this? I wondered about making an announcement, asking for fiction etc, in All Saints. What do you more experienced types reckon (obviously this is an academic-type announce and I wouldn't want to post it in the wrong place). Would it be offensive to ask in Purgatory?
Remainder of post deleted by Member Admin - see below [ 28. January 2004, 20:44: Message edited by: RuthW ]
Posts: 1 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Annie P
Ship's galley maid
# 3453
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Posted
Hi Soibhan and welcome to the ship. I hope you enjoy your time here.
Just working on a hunch, don't take this the wrong way, I have a feeling that the announcement might be seen as a form of advertising. As such you would be better to contact the editors of the ship directly to see what they say. I hear their rates are very reasonable.
Any questions relating to where things should go, what you should do (if not in the FAQ's) need to be posted in the Styx. (The boards about the boards).
Alternatively, if you were to follow the advice on this thread, just post it on the first board which you take a fancy to.*
*Anti derailment statement . (Did you see what I did there??? )
-------------------- Older now, but not necessarily wiser.
Posts: 3248 | From: stockton-on-tees | Registered: Oct 2002
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RuthW
liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
Admin hat on
siobhan: First, if you have previously registered for the boards, please use that registration.
Second, if you would like to advertise on the Ship, please contact Simon regarding the rates. If you would like to put a short announcement (4 lines or less saying something like "PM or email me for information about submitting to such and such a journal) in your signature, that would be fine.
RuthW Member Admin
[typos] [ 28. January 2004, 21:01: Message edited by: RuthW ]
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Zwingli
Shipmate
# 4438
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Posted
Members of a magazine of Christian Unrest are obviously disappointed with their current churches, so just invite them to yours! They will be in no way annoyed that you keep asking and asking, and saying how wonderful and friendly everyone is there will only encourage them to come. Link to your churches web page on every thread you post on and say the doctrine statement explains your point perfectly; the hosts will love you for this.
Develop a crush on a shipmate based solely on their posting style. Tell them how much you agree and how cute you think their avatar is. Ignore any actual photos of them from shipmeets or linked to through their profile. Ask if they resemble their avatar. Erin in particular will be won over by this approach.
Remember you need 50 posts to become a shipmate but can apply to be a Host after just 20. Make 20 posts in Heaven then apply to host in Hell.
Posts: 4283 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958
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Posted
This post (50) should mean I'm not an apprentice any more!
-------------------- #...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#
Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
Nope, as many Apprentices mis-understand.. it's the 51st post that means you graduate to a Real Person™.
Gremlin
-------------------- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.
Until then you're just a fluffy bunny.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Robert Porter-Miller
Tiocfaidh Separabit
# 1459
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Posted
By this logic Real Velveteen Rabbit status should be aceived at 1001
-------------------- It's a beautiful day - don't let it get away - Bono and the boys
Let's all "Release Some Tension"
Posts: 1231 | From: Washington, D.C. | Registered: Oct 2001
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Snooty Fox
Ruminator, cogitator, procrastinator
# 5470
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon: And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.
Until then you're just a fluffy bunny.
Pictures...bunnies and rabbits...sitting at their computers...in all seriousness...glasses perched at end of nose, paw on chin...
-SF-
-------------------- Don't worry, I got an idea. An idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. -Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Posts: 253 | From: Northants | Registered: Jan 2004
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musician
Ship's grin without a cat
# 4873
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Posted
..with a dooling, licking-of-lips Snooty Fox in the background tip-toeing ever closer....
Posts: 1569 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Snooty Fox
Ruminator, cogitator, procrastinator
# 5470
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Posted
It all seems a bit modern-day Beatrix Potter. The Tale of Mr Fluffy Bunny.com
-SF-
-------------------- Don't worry, I got an idea. An idea so smart, my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about. -Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Posts: 253 | From: Northants | Registered: Jan 2004
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Lyda Rose of Sharon: And when you get to a thousand posts you get to be a Real Velveteen Rabbit™.
Until then you're just a fluffy bunny.
Hear, hear!
-------------------- "I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue") Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
At 750 posts you get a bar of Green & Blacks Chocolate and 2000 posts reward you with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin.
The hosts just love sending out all these prizes - posts mean prizes a la Bruce Forsyth
-------------------- Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Angel*: At 750 posts you get a bar of Green & Blacks Chocolate and 2000 posts reward you with a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin.
The hosts just love sending out all these prizes - posts mean prizes a la Bruce Forsyth
Hey! Where the hell are my chocolate and gin?
Although if gin is in short supply (hoping, hoping) I'd graciously accept belated Stoli Vodka.
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Silver Indian
Shipmate
# 4958
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Posted
OK, so now am I no longer an appentice?
-------------------- #...bravely ran away away, oh brave Sir Robin.#
Posts: 55 | From: Barnsley, UK | Registered: Sep 2003
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Jonah the Whale
Ship's pet cetacean
# 1244
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Posted
Congratulations Silver Indian!
quote: Originally posted by Gremlin: It's the 51st post that means you graduate to a Real Person™.
Unless you happen to be a celebrity organist. [ 13. February 2004, 10:35: Message edited by: Jonah the Whale ]
Posts: 2799 | From: Nether Regions | Registered: Aug 2001
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Abishag
Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710
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Posted
quote: Members of a magazine of Christian Unrest are obviously disappointed with their current churches, so just invite them to yours!
What a good idea! I'm a Prison Chaplain...any apprentices want to come to my Church?
I can say this because I've just noticed I'm not an apprentice any longer!
Abishag
-------------------- http://www.celticheads.com http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com
Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pānts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: When no-one replies to your posts; keep on posting and talking to yourself. Everyone is reading your posts with bated breath and great respect!
Abishag
-------------------- I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Chapelhead you haven't got round to my county yet...it's one of those with no vowels in its name.
Clywd?
(Of course, in Welsh, it has exactly the same spelling, but the 'y' and the 'w' are both vowels)
Gremlin
-------------------- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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Abishag
Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710
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Posted
Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?
Abishag [ 15. February 2004, 20:39: Message edited by: Abishag ]
-------------------- http://www.celticheads.com http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com
Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pānts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
bore da. rydw'n hoffi beico yn y mynedd achos rydw'n hoffi y cae ( my spelling always was crap in english...what hope have i got in welsh!!)
-------------------- I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Abishag
Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710
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Posted
Helo pants - sut wyt ti? Ble ydy Zumoid yng Nghymru??? Raidd i fi ymarfer fy Gymraeg eto.
Abishag
Yes; new apprentices - all the shipmates speak Welsh and it is important to converse with each of them in Welsh on your first encounter. [ 15. February 2004, 20:51: Message edited by: Abishag ]
-------------------- http://www.celticheads.com http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com
Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
What kind of drugs do you want, Mark?
-------------------- "Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?
Close. I live near Flintshire, but originate many other places.
Actually, Clwyd no longer exists, it is now Flintshire, Denbighshire and Conwy. However, many postcode-lookup databases still have it has Clwyd
Gremlin
-------------------- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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Pānts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Helo pants - sut wyt ti? Ble ydy Zumoid yng Nghymru??? Raidd i fi ymarfer fy Gymraeg eto.
fine ta. its not... its in another world!!! even further away than wales!! something about welsh... but i dunno wat!!
-------------------- I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Chapelhead*
Ship’s Photographer
# 1143
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Chapelhead you haven't got round to my county yet...it's one of those with no vowels in its name.
I haven't been isulting any counties recently as I've been away for 10 days (and not a single post or PM saying "Where's Chapelhead?" ).
Actually I had only planned to insult the English counties, on the grounds that everywhere west of the border is just too God-awful to need insulting. This is especially the case for Clwyd, a place so bad that the powers-that-be could only stand it for 22 years before putting it out of our misery. A mercy killing if ever there was.
-------------------- Benedikt Gott Geschickt!
Posts: 7082 | From: Turbolift Control. | Registered: Aug 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
In the light of current discussion in The Styx - make sure you have at least 5 lines in your signature. The hosts and admins will love you for it.
-------------------- Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pānts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
dont ever use punctuation or capital letters
-------------------- I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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NO
Shipmate
# 5477
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Posted
It is a tradition that all new members should use their first post in the following way:
Go to the board marked "Hell", and create a thread entitled "Calling Erin". The content of the OP is really not important. As you will soon find out.
Posts: 1250 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Abishag
Ship's Quality Shag
# 4710
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Gremlin: quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Da iawn! Formerly known as Flintshire detached....detached from what I don't know! But I'm sure Chapelhead will have something derrogatory to say about it.....in fact I'll feel offended if not! Are you from the same place, Gremlin?
Close. I live near Flintshire, but originate many other places.
Actually, Clwyd no longer exists, it is now Flintshire, Denbighshire and Conwy. However, many postcode-lookup databases still have it has Clwyd
Gremlin
I was one of those insisting upon using it when I lived there! The alternative was the County Borough of Wrexham (which you left out of your list...you obviously found it memorable! )
Chapelhead - thank you for the insult which was first class! Now can I trouble you to insult Bromsgrove?
Pants - ble ydy Zumoid? dw i'n eishi ymweld yno! Yes there is something about Welsh...well maybe not my Welsh!
advice to apprentices; when using the reply with quotes button, never edit the contents of the post you are quoting - no matter how many previous quotes have been used within it!
Abishag [ 19. February 2004, 17:20: Message edited by: Abishag ]
-------------------- http://www.celticheads.com http://www.evamcintyre.com http://www.bangormonachorum.com
Posts: 763 | From: Keeping King David warm...while reading a good book! | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pānts*
Ship's underwear
# 4487
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Abishag: Pants - ble ydy Zumoid? dw i'n eishi ymweld yno! Yes there is something about Welsh...well maybe not my Welsh!
Abishag
zumoid is ... well... kinda in mr pants strange mind (yes he's almost as bad as me!!!).
-------------------- I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)
Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
.......keep your nose clean and always wear clean underwear!
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Alan Cresswell
Mad Scientist 先生
# 31
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Posted
Insert a string of random smilies at the end of every post.
-------------------- Don't cling to a mistake just because you spent a lot of time making it.
Posts: 32413 | From: East Kilbride (Scotland) or 福島 | Registered: May 2001
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Matrix
Shipmate
# 3452
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Posted
ahem..
Timely bump to tie in with current styx thread...
M UK
-------------------- Maybe that's all a family really is; a group of people who miss the same imaginary place. - Garden State
Posts: 3847 | From: The courts of the King | Registered: Oct 2002
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barrea
Shipmate
# 3211
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Posted
Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks
-------------------- Therefore having been justified by faith,we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1
Posts: 1050 | From: england | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sine Nomine*
Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
Gee, I would think that would depend on how and where you say it.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by barrea: Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks
Not yet. Did you?
Gremlin
-------------------- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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*The lowly Church mouse*
Ship's Animal & Nature Lover
# 4690
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Posted
Steal other peoples ideas. Find something on a thread which you think may be eye-catching and reproduce it as your own work.
Everyone will love you for it and along will come lots of smilies.
-------------------- Surrounded by water, swans, ducks, birds & animals.
Posts: 1333 | From: Surrey | Registered: Jul 2003
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Pyx_e
Quixotic Tilter
# 57
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by barrea: Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks
Funny cos I really think you are an asshat. What do I do now, just sit and wait for the suspension?
Where is the twiddleing thumbs smilie?
P
-------------------- It is better to be Kind than right.
Posts: 9778 | From: The Dark Tower | Registered: May 2001
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barrea
Shipmate
# 3211
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Gremlin: quote: Originally posted by barrea: Never say what you really think or you will get suspended for two weeks
Not yet. Did you?
Gremlin
Yes just after I started, But that is water under the bridge now.
-------------------- Therefore having been justified by faith,we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Romans 5:1
Posts: 1050 | From: england | Registered: Aug 2002
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Stoo
Mighty Pirate
# 254
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Posted
[Tricorne hat on]
Pyx_e, Gremlin and Barrea,
If you have a problem with each other, take it to Hell.
Barrea, if you have a problem with Ship policy, take it to the Styx.
[Tricorne hat off]
-------------------- This space left blank
Posts: 5266 | From: the director of "Bikini Traffic School" | Registered: May 2001
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Gremlin
Ship's Cryptanalyst
# 129
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Posted
Sorry, that came across (with re-reading 24 hours later) as rather more agressive than intended.
Gremlin
-------------------- Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again... Oh I get it... like humour... but different.
Posts: 5221 | From: Isle of Man | Registered: May 2001
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