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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: The SoF Vestments Fashion Parade
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Inspired by the Caption Competition Board and a thread in Hell some time ago.
Each day, a new outfit will be highlighted with color commentary by Paul the Hermit, Maurice, and Lydia Purpuraria, the Patron Saints of Clothing. After about 24 hours or if the comments die out sooner, someone may post a (tasteful, it is hoped) link to a new outfit.
Shall we begin?
< Cue "Girl from Ipanema" on the Hammond Organ >
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*Outfit No. 1 *
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Paul < reading from Cue Card >: "More than just a Purple Haze, Bishop Mark is ready for both his Metropolitan duties and the cold Moscow winters in this stylish Epsicopal ensemble.
Maurice: Ooh, good start. Look at how the horizontal stripes add body and volume--
Lydia: I miss the sleeves, though. More sleeve the better, I always say...
[Edit by Coot: doing a bit of formatting for commentators to stand out]
[Fixed link]
[ 19. December 2005, 18:49: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
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Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713
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Posted
Resolve parking problems by concealing your car under the vestments!
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"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"
(Paul Sinha, BBC)
Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Maurice: "And the back view is equally stunning, with an elegant train. See how the red stripes extend the lines of the ensemble."
Lydia: "And, Maurice, those flowing lines are echoed in the dramatic black mitre, with its long veil."
Paul <snippily, checking notes>: "That's called a kamilavka, people!"
<applause>
[ 15. September 2004, 03:48: Message edited by: The Coot ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Maurice: (sotto voce to small,rather grubby man who is pulling at his sleeve) "I don't care if your camel has lost its blanket. You're not having this one!!"
[ 15. September 2004, 03:49: Message edited by: The Coot ]
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Paul: <reading cue card> If we could have our next model, please.
*Outfit #2*
Organ shifts into medley from Jesus Christ Superstar while model pirouettes.
Lydia: Why, it's the seventies all over again. Will you look at those earth tones, Paul?
[ 15. September 2004, 03:50: Message edited by: The Coot ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Maurice: <bitchily> Here we have a change of pace, the blues and reds of a full body drape, inspired by British Soccer Hooliganism and American Patriot fervour give way to demi-season colours suggestive of an active outdoor lifestyle involving archery and deer-hunting.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Paul: Yes, Maurice. Quite. Or a game of darts down the pub on a Friday night.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Member of the audience: I tell you, it was this big!' ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Lydia: To be fair, it does have that kicky, devil-may-care quality for the hierarch on-the-go--the kind of thing you can just slip on when going out shopping...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Lyda*Rose
Ship's broken porthole
# 4544
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Posted
Paul: I think I recognize scraps from the parish banner-making project. That burnt orange -wasn't that the hull of the Children's Choir Noah's Ark?
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"Dear God, whose name I do not know - thank you for my life. I forgot how BIG... thank you. Thank you for my life." ~from Joe Vs the Volcano
Posts: 21377 | From: CA | Registered: May 2003
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Member of the audience:
Wide, wide as the ocean...
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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Maurice: Oh, Lydia! Naughty me! Mm. And speaking of nautical... those blues and greens. I'm thinking sea. I'm thinking submarines. I'm thinking... PERISCOPE CROSS-HAIRS!
(sings campily)
"Welcome sailor... to the shore..."
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Paul: Take it down a notch, will you? It's hard to believe that you and your regiment got massacred for not making pagan sacrifices.
Maurice: Ooh, and sitting in a cave for 90 years is so manly--
Lydia < whispering >: Will you both shut up?? Keep it up and we'll be dropped from the Calendar...
[ 15. September 2004, 19:43: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Lydia: <restoring order> Our next model from that renowned power-house of fashion, St Gregory of Nyssa, shows us how to ac-CESS-orize!
*********
* Outfit 3 *
*********
[ 16. September 2004, 13:05: Message edited by: Sir Isaac Cootton ]
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Maurice: Love the vertical sweep--while it's the opposite effect of Outfit #1, it's just as effective. This outfit just shouts "I'm here, you'd better pay attention."
Paul: I don't know--I think it's a little too busy...
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Maurice: Lydia dear, in your estimation, as a purveyor of fine cloth; where do you see the origins of our model's garment?
Lydia: Ashram, Maurice. Definitely Ashram. Yet there is a hint of... Kamahl and perhaps, if I may savour it a little longer: notes of Demis Roussos thrift shop donation.
[Edit: Because missing apostrophes of ownership as so unfashion-conscious]
[ 16. September 2004, 16:54: Message edited by: Sir Isaac Cootton ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Young fogey
Shipmate
# 5317
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Posted
Of course I like the Russian bishop's gear - he's not a metropolitan; they wear a light-blue mantle. (That's what that purple cape is - his mantle or monastic cape, not a cope; purple for a bishop.) The hat indeed isn't his mitre (that looks like a kind of crown); it's a monk's hat, the klobuk (kamilavka with veil). (Almost all Eastern Orthodox bishops are monks as many of you know.)
And I like both the modern-looking priests' pictures too, even though the chasuble isn't something I'd think of using. The wearer is facing the right direction and in a church with a nice reredos too!
The last pic is from St Gregory's Episcopal Church in San Francisco, which I think people expect me to hate. They're wrong about a lot of things but I don't. They're bright, creative people who simply need to be grounded in the church, in the Catholic faith. The priest's garb reflects that tradition (though not recognizably any one rite of it) though that church doesn't practise it.
[ 16. September 2004, 18:43: Message edited by: Young fogey ]
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A conservative blog for peace
Posts: 961 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Maurice: Mmm, yes, Paul, I do see what you mean, but busy is so now, don't you think? And that Sunset Yellow positively illuminates his skin.
Paul: I think the little black number on his head adds simplicity to the whole affair. Very kosher.
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Maurice: Of course it's kosher, silly boy. September 16 is Rosh Hashona.
Lydia: I rather like the chunky beads around his neck. Beads are so now.
Paul: You know, the red-and-gold thing picks up the colors from the carpet as well. Nice touch. But whatever that striped cloth is on the seat, well, who put that shmatteh there?
[Cootie made it nice]
[ 17. September 2004, 11:43: Message edited by: Sir Isaac Cootton ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Paul: Well Oufit 3 really turned some heads there. And now for something... fresh. Something soft, yet crisp, that whispers... sophia.
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* Outfit 4 *
*********
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Young Fogey (as himself): Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Avert your eyes!!! Look not upon the wanton Jezebel!
[Host notelet: do all be loves and try to format your posts nicely]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Maurice: Nurse, may I have a bedpan please?
Lydia: She's a vicar, not a nurse. And also very pink. Errrr, lovely.
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Audience Member: WOO-HOO! SKIN-TO-WIN, SKIN-TO-WIN, SKIN-TO--
< CLUNK! >
< THUD >
< Dragged out by Ushers >
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Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake.
Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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sophs
Sardonic Angel
# 2296
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Posted
[random aside, I told my ordinand landlady that I'd buy her one of those for Christmas... ![[Projectile]](graemlins/puke2.gif) ]
Posts: 5407 | From: searching saharas of sorrow | Registered: Feb 2002
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Legodude_uk
Protector of Zebras
# 5671
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Belisarius:
< snip >
< Dragged out by Ushers >
That'll make his eyes water...
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If a man is standing in a forest speaking but there are no women around to hear him...is he still wrong?
Posts: 2619 | From: The Home of the Saints | Registered: Mar 2004
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Paul: <looking disapprovingly at Lydia and Maurice> There is a word for this outfit- and the word is Today. The word is also Tonight. And you can order this with a matching set of knickers to create a fabulous babydoll nightie.
<Reads from Cue Card> When the Revd Sue-Ellen comes home after a hard day slaving over the flock she saves time by slipping into her pink cleri-knicks. The skirt is also reversible and can function as a pillow protector.
Day-wear for Today's Priests... By... <Purses lips. Poker-faced> WHIP-pells.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Lydia: You know, when she gets consecrated as Bishop, I think I'll make her one of those in purple.
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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Young fogey
Shipmate
# 5317
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Posted
quote:
Young Fogey (as himself): Ahhhhhhhhhh!!! Avert your eyes!!! Look not upon the wanton Jezebel!
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
I'm flattered.
Actually the model is rather pretty.
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A conservative blog for peace
Posts: 961 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Isaac Cootton:
Lydia: <restoring order> Our next model from that renowned power-house of fashion, St Gregory of Nyssa, shows us how to ac-CESS-orize!
Okay, I'm losing faith in the proposition that the ability to accessorize is what separates us from the lower animals.
I WAS going to ask that old question from the opera house ("Doesn't she have any gay friends who can tell her how to dress?"), but...mmmm....I think I'll just let that one go right by.
Rossweisse // bravo, Sir Isaac Cootten!
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Maurice: And now, Ladies, Gentlemen and Others, for our next outfit.
Straight from the House of Zipporah, shimmering and shimmying onto the catwalk...
************
* Outfit no. 5 *
************
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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jemimah
Shipmate
# 8474
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Posted
Lydia: That "Fifties Housewife" twist with the apron is just inspired!
Paul: Yes, it's kind of an, "I can make a sacrifice AND clear up afterwards" versatility.
Posts: 249 | From: aotearoa | Registered: Sep 2004
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Amazing Grace*
Shipmate
# 4754
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Rossweisse:
quote:
Originally posted by Sir Isaac Cootton:
Lydia: <restoring order> Our next model from that renowned power-house of fashion, St Gregory of Nyssa, shows us how to ac-CESS-orize!
Okay, I'm losing faith in the proposition that the ability to accessorize is what separates us from the lower animals.
I WAS going to ask that old question from the opera house ("Doesn't she have any gay friends who can tell her how to dress?"), but...mmmm....I think I'll just let that one go right by.
Rossweisse // bravo, Sir Isaac Cootten!
Hmmm, I thought the "official" catwalk outfit was the one on the gentleman presiding, with the orange-and-red stole, brooch, clunky beads, and cap, but all that tie-dye (especially that lacey collared number ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif) ) made my eyes roll.
I do like the deacon's stole visible in the front of the piccie, the one in green and brown stripes.
Charlotte (liturgical costumer wanna-be echoing that "Bravo!")
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.sig on vacation
Posts: 2594 | From: Sittin' by the dock of the [SF] bay | Registered: Jul 2003
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Paul: Hmmm, strongly influenced by, who is it now? Ummm, Chanel? No. Armani? No. McQueen? No. Westwood?? Possibly....
What are we getting here, Maurice?
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Maurice: (becoming serious) What we have here, Paul, is inspiration from the discalced Maronite Little Brotherhood of Martha. Note the rainbow tunicle and matching girdle which embodies the spirit of the inclusive, progressive church.
<Reads from Cue-card> Father Mansour, gown by Germaine Greer, handbag by Armani.
.
["I can make a sacrifice AND clear up afterwards" ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Lydia We've seen a lot of the layered look - umm, well, except maybe the first model. I had a feeling he was changing out of his wet swimming togs under there. But as I was saying - layers, yes; but with a cinch belt? So unforgiving of those extra pounds.
And if you are going to have that number of strong horizontals in the outfit, I think it's a mistake to give up on heels for that extra height. Especially as it would pick up the pointy motif in the hat.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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kingsfold
Shipmate
# 1726
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Posted
quote:
Paul: ...What are we getting here, Maurice?
Maurice: Well, Paul, I'm getting frankincense, with overtones of onycha... and, mmm, now I'm getting hints of galbanum. And...yes... yes...I'm getting afterscents of rose oil...
And now back to the dresses...
[ 19. September 2004, 16:00: Message edited by: kingsfold ]
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I came to Jesus and I found in him my star, my sun.
And in that light of life I'll walk 'til travelling days are done
Posts: 4473 | From: land of the wee midgie | Registered: Nov 2001
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Ags
Knocked up
# 204
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Posted
Paul: I'm loving the 80s touch here. Shoulder pads to flatter the fuller figure, drawing the eyes away from the tummy. And that vertical line. Very slimming. Lovely.
Maurice: Absolutely, Paul. And I just adore that walrus moustache. So elegant!
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I think that we are most ourselves at our best, because that is what God intended us to be. The us we really like, the us that others love to be with. Moth
Posts: 2707 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Firenze
Ordinary decent pagan
# 619
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Posted
Lydia But again with the shoes. Just so many of these outfits are let down by the failure to think from the ankles down. I'm not saying stilettos in this case - but a shapely Cuban heel, with maybe just a toning rosette. It would make such a difference.
Posts: 17302 | From: Edinburgh | Registered: Jun 2001
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Maurice: Oh, absolutely, Lydia. Or perhaps something in an open toe. Doing the nails to bring out all those yummy hues -- the greens, the reds, the blues -- in the rest of the outfit would really just bring it all together, more than just the sum of its parts, ne c'est pas?
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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jemimah
Shipmate
# 8474
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Posted
Paul: I'm simply adoring the sense of mystery about this one.
Is it Armani-Superhero or Dior-Arch-Nemesis? He could go either way ...
And you're SO right about the footwear.
[ 19. September 2004, 21:17: Message edited by: jemimarrr ]
Posts: 249 | From: aotearoa | Registered: Sep 2004
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Max.
Shipmate
# 5846
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Posted
***********
*Outfit No. 7*
***********
Fr Jean: "Ewww! So you are saying that it was once your duvet?"
[Edit: Cootie made it nice and standy-outy]
[ 20. September 2004, 03:41: Message edited by: Coot of the Caribbean ]
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For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.
Posts: 9716 | From: North Yorkshire | Registered: May 2004
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Maurice: Excuse me! That quilt was a rather pricey piece of Appalachian folk art before a certainly designing someone snatched it from its frame and turned it into a chasuble. I swear, that's the last party I'm having that coincides with the fall fashion shows!
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Paul: Pink is a sadly overlooked liturgical colour. The priest secure in his masculinity is not frightened to 'push the envelope'.
The right hand gently beckoning - I'm getting a sense of: 'Wish you were here' and 'socratic method' and 'I am the fairy that sits on the top of the Christmas tree'.
And if I'm not mistaken Lydia, our model is a Summer so can carry this shade quite well...
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Maurice: But really, this is another case of a failure to follow through, to make a complete statement with a given outfit. Look at that head -- just stubbly white hair, with no sense of style or finish. It just begs for a miter, perhaps, or something in a jester's cap -- work with me, now, I'm just spitballing ideas -- that would top off the expression.
And, hellooooo? Is anyone even thinking makeup here? It's not an ensemble until all the details are complete!
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
<Cue Pomp and Circumstance on the Hammond Organ>
*********
* Outfit 8 *
*********
Maurice: <welling with emotion> It is my great privilege to present this study in 3 parts. Bishop Clarence shows that the more mature gentleman need not be relegated to a twin set and a string of pearls. <Unable to restrain his excitement> Check out the train on the cappa magna, Paul! Divine!
<Moist emotional snort> It's not often that you see the mozzetta out and about these days... and the large LaCroix pendant! Sizzling!
[ 20. September 2004, 15:55: Message edited by: Coot of the Caribbean ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Rossweisse
High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Lydia: Oh, absolutely, Maurice. And I love the understated lacey-surplice-and-cassock look on the servers kneeling on either side of the Bishop. The relative simplicity of their outfits helps to underscore the voluptuous majesty of his.
And -- my goodness gracious! -- that train is just incredible! The other touches are also nicely considered. Draping the Bishop's prie-dieu while allowing the servers to kneel right on the carpets (and may I say that this is a case of background really complementing foreground?) also directs the viewer to comprehend just how important the episcopal gentleman is, and how negligible the server gentlemen are. C'est magnifique!
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I'm not dead yet.
Posts: 15117 | From: Valhalla | Registered: Feb 2002
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Laura
General nuisance
# 10
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Posted
And it's extremely encouraging to see that someone was thinking about the floor as well - the large opulent oriental under the gentleman really sets off the vestments.
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Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence. - Erich Fromm
Posts: 16883 | From: East Coast, USA | Registered: Apr 2001
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Mamacita
Lakefront liberal
# 3659
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Posted
Paul: Well, we've been so positively dazzled by the Bishop's magnificent ensemble that we've almost overlooked Father Coleridge. Now, for the Rector, it's all about texture. Layer upon layer of lush fabric, the gold lace and embroidery complementing the deep red tones of the chasuble. And is that more lace and texture peeking out from beneath in this view? And notice how the red-and-gold of the vestments are echoed in the oriental carpet, as Lydia has so astutely pointed out. Not to mention the same colors echoed in the parament* to the Bishop's far left. Oh, it's just too much!
[ETA: *y'know, this is a real challenge when you don't know all the vocab...]
-- Mamacita, who has never served on the altar guild
[ 21. September 2004, 03:15: Message edited by: Ye Saltye Mama ]
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Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Posts: 20761 | From: where the purple line ends | Registered: Dec 2002
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
Lydia: Yes, Paul. Those gents were born for the catwalk, and don't they look pleased to be there! Hats by Borsalino, featuring a hidden watch-battery powered speaker that plays Chinese opera when the fin is squeezed.
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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