homepage
  roll on christmas  
click here to find out more about ship of fools click here to sign up for the ship of fools newsletter click here to support ship of fools
community the mystery worshipper gadgets for god caption competition foolishness features ship stuff
discussion boards live chat cafe avatars frequently-asked questions the ten commandments gallery private boards register for the boards
 
Ship of Fools


Post new thread  Post a reply
My profile login | | Directory | Search | FAQs | Board home
   - Printer-friendly view Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
» Ship of Fools   » Ship's Locker   » Limbo   » Heaven: Geschmackvoll? I think not. (Page 1)

 - Email this page to a friend or enemy.  
Pages in this thread: 1  2  3 
 
Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Geschmackvoll? I think not.
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I went to pee last night in the downstairs guest bath when I got home. Imagine my surprise when I lifted the lid (we have to keep it down due to a Lab who thinks it's a drinking fountain) and found the water in the toilet bowl was a deep, deep aquamarine blue. The color of the Gulf of Mexico off Destin.

It turns out the Sig Other, in an unaccustomed fit of domesticity, had purchased and dropped one of those blue cakes in the toilet tank, assuming I suppose that we'd never have to clean the toilet again.

I can hardly imagine anything tackier. I know whenever I go to someone's house and have to pee, if they've got blue water in their toilet bowl, they plummet in my estimation. It's a Well Known Fact that nice people don't have blue water in their toilet bowls. Only people common as dirt do. You know. The kind of people who have a duck motif in their kitchen or plastic covers on their lamp shades.

Now I suppose I'll have to find my Playtex Living Gloves and fish the damn thing out before any guests see it.

Besides, it's cheating to make cleaning the toilet any easier. Probably something Catholics or the Orthodox would do. Protestants know in their hearts they need to be down on their hands and knees scrubbing the damn thing, being careful not to mix bleach and ammonia, unless they are feeling suicidal.

Personally, being a pessimist, I'm always sure there is some hidden ammonia I don't know about in the toilet and that as soon as I pour some bleach in, I'll be immediately overcome by a cloud of noxious gas, only to be found dead some days later with a toilet brush still clutched in my stiffening hand.

Now being Good Christian People, I'm sure none of us (except RooK, of course) would dream of harshly judging our brothers and sisters in Christ merely based on some little quirk of decor or housekeeping. Yeah, right. In my experience we're all just little judging machines walking around taking other's inventories.

So what do you snicker about in other people's houses? What things make you pray "Thank God I'm not like them"?

What's just too tacky for words?

Attention Counter-Snobs who will be posting on this thread: You realize you're just as bad as the Snobs who will be posting, do you not? Actually, I think Counter-Snobs are worse than Snobs. But then I would.

[ 22. February 2005, 16:47: Message edited by: KenWritez ]

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

 - Posted      Profile for Ariel   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
I went to pee last night in the downstairs guest bath when I got home.

...

What's just too tacky for words?

People who pee in the bath. Especially if it's a guest bath. It's not at all nice for your guests. Especially if they're in it at the time.

I am shocked at your disclosure. I mean, shocked.

Um, was anybody in it at the time?

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I would have peed in the shower, like Real Guys™ do, but I didn't feel like taking all my clothes off.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Viola
Administrator
# 20

 - Posted      Profile for Viola   Email Viola   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Staying in the bathroom, cute, crocheted toilet roll covers. This kind of thing . Actually , I was looking for one that had been crafted to look like a Victorian doll, but I lost the will to live half way through my google.

In fact, I have a snobbish problem with lots of 'things to hide other things'. Coat hangers bedecked with ribbons and lavender bags - you know the type of thing.

K.

--------------------
"If ye love me, keep my commandments" John 14:15

"Commandment number one: shut the hell up." Erin Etheredge 1971-2010

Posts: 4345 | From: West of England | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

 - Posted      Profile for Ariel   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Viola:
Staying in the bathroom, cute, crocheted toilet roll covers. This kind of thing . Actually , I was looking for one that had been crafted to look like a Victorian doll, but I lost the will to live half way through my google.

My grandmother made one for us as a Christmas present. We still have it.

You know what would go well with the blue toilet flush? One of those transparent toilet seats/lids with brightly coloured fish printed on it.

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amos

Shipmate
# 44

 - Posted      Profile for Amos     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Ariel, I'm sure you know that poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. Well, according to W.H.Auden, " Everyone pees in the bath.'

I am shamefully snooty about other people's ways of furnishing their homes. It must be my years in ECUSA. If I told you all the things that catch my supercilious eye, nobody would ever invite me into their house again. My own is a tip, of course. But a shabby-genteel tip, and all the pictures on the walls are of my own ancestors, and none are reproductions. [Razz]

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Viola:
Staying in the bathroom, cute, crocheted toilet roll covers. This kind of thing .

Oh Dear Lord in Heaven! [Projectile] Someone actually took the time to crochet that. It's a sickness.

On the other hand I once knew a retired gentleman who, needing a hobby, took to making clear plexiglass facial tissue box covers in his basement workshop. Never did quite understand the purpose of that. Guess he didn't want to hide the oh-so-attractive patterns that came on the boxes.

He lived in the same small North Carolina town as my grandmother. You could go in all her friends' bathrooms and know Herbert had been at work. I even received one to carry back to Nashville.

I think he'd run out of locals to give them to.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
It must be my years in ECUSA.

Yes, that would account for it. And people say we don't have standards.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

 - Posted      Profile for Ariel   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I once stayed in a guesthouse where the landlady had not only crocheted toilet roll covers for the bathroom, but also made a sampler with "I Heart Jesus" embroidered on it.

What I don't care much for is things in the shape of animals. Phones in the shape of cats whose eyes flash when it rings. Backpacks in the shape of Sean the Lamb, with four spindly legs sticking out. Umbrellas with bunny ears or frog eyes on top. Slippers with extra fur and rolling eyes.

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Moschops
Ship's dinosaur
# 3034

 - Posted      Profile for Moschops   Email Moschops   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Plastic fish. That sing.

--------------------
"A salesperson's first job is to make you miserable, because happy people don't want anything." - Scott Adams.

Posts: 559 | From: The Permian Period | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Amos

Shipmate
# 44

 - Posted      Profile for Amos     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Now the CofE is a thing all together, Sine. In the first parish I was posted to, my boss had seven sets of flying ducks around the house (downstairs anyway) and Winnie the Pooh decals on his kitchen walls. Mind you, he also had a pink pussycat embroidered on the neck of his stole where most of us have a cross. I wonder if you can guess why.

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Linguo

Ship's grammar robot
# 7220

 - Posted      Profile for Linguo   Email Linguo   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Perhaps the blue stuff in the toilet was the same as the blue stuff which serves as 'general bodily fluid' in TV ads...

Those plastic Coke cans that dance to the radio are pretty damn tacky; not as bad as the plastic fish though. I also have a bizarre and pathological hatred of valances on beds: what purpose do they serve except gathering dust?

Posts: 997 | From: around and about the place | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ariel:
Phones in the shape of cats whose eyes flash when it rings.

Fortunately my Garfield™ phone's eyes don't flash. They open when you lift the receiver.

And it's in my bathroom on the floor next to the claw-footed tub, where a cat might possibly be.

And if I chose to have it, it's a "touch of whimsy", not tacky. It would be tacky in my neighbor's house.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by hiddenshallows:
I also have a bizarre and pathological hatred of valances on beds: what purpose do they serve except gathering dust?

I thought they hid the dust. That's what mine does. Although not well after a certain point.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Amos

Shipmate
# 44

 - Posted      Profile for Amos     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
You watch it, Sine, or the Sig Other will put a tacky blue cake under the bed.

[ 30. October 2004, 11:52: Message edited by: Amos ]

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

 - Posted      Profile for John Donne     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
What's wrong with blue toilet water?! It's nice and clean and antiseptic looking and smelling. My lav is the cleanest room in the house and I am quite partial to a blue flush thing that hangs over the edge of the bowl.

The latest one doesn't turn the water blue (even though it is blue gel) but it foams nicely. Oooooh I have to tell you about it ackshully. Tis one of those 'No touch' Harpic refillable ones. So satisfying. And I've got one of those self-sanitising rubber toilet brushes (doesn't scratch the bowl, ducks)

Of course Thrift Whore (I mean, enviromentally conscious person) that I am, I was experimenting with refilling the old Ambi-Pur one by squeezing Harpic toilet cleaner in it... didn't work. (And stay away from that squirty Harpic toilet cleaner. The foaming crystals are the ducks nuts, and my OTL)

Peasant Boys R Us!!!!

[I am so disappointed in you Sine, pet. You shoulda started this in Hvn [Waterworks] ]

Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

 - Posted      Profile for John Donne     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Dangly Toilet cleaners/deodorisers on the side of the bowl that are activated by the flush are classy!
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

 - Posted      Profile for John Donne     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
(It means you can afford them and that you pay attention to the fine details and small refinements in life)
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Speaking of ancestral pictures, I once had a rather strapping young lad by the house who upon seeing the family photographs in the back hall said "Cool pictures. Where did you get them? The flea market?"

<shudder>

However I tend to cut strapping young lads some slack so I merely said "No. I found them in a box in my grandmother's attic."

Of course, come to think of it, Young Lad had a highly colored reproduction of Winterhalter's "The Empress Eugenie and her court" in his living room, which he had gotten at the flea market, so I guess he was making the best guess he could as to where things of that sort come from.

Fortunately he had a number of other redeeming qualities.

[ 30. October 2004, 12:16: Message edited by: Sine Nomine ]

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Coot:
[I am so disappointed in you Sine, pet. You shoulda started this in Hvn [Waterworks] ]

Darling, I thought about it, but I knew the Counter-Snobs would so enjoy responding in Hell with just how awful the Snobs are.

...and I try to be thoughtful.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pânts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

 - Posted      Profile for Pânts*   Author's homepage   Email Pânts*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
All of these toilet things are great - except if you have a septic tank, and then you're not supposed to use them.

Chandelliers can look foul. The ones we have (rented accomodation) are sooooooo grim.

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

 - Posted      Profile for John Donne     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I am tasteful. Really. Why, I have held off buying something to put my toilet rolls in because I just can't find the right something. The dolls are right out. And popping them on those turned wooden poles just does not do. What is it, an oversize nursery toy? The long thin cannisters with lids are not asthetic - the proportions are not pleasing - and I wouldn't want visitors to dispose their personal sanitary items in it.

I've been thinking of a understated and unadorned cane basket with handle. 'Come hither. Youth gathering nuts in May' that sort of thing. What do you think?

Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

 - Posted      Profile for John Donne     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
PS. I love chandeliers. The bigger and more ornate the better. Like wot you see in Fred Astaire movies. Or the Titanic's ballroom. I checked them in Google's for sale section. They are about $15,000.

Can't wait til I'm rich enuff to buy one.

Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Francis' Little Helper
Shipmate
# 4903

 - Posted      Profile for Francis' Little Helper   Email Francis' Little Helper   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Teddy Bears seated on miniature chairs in the living room. Crocheted whatchamacallits on the back of the chairs. Shelf collection of Red Rose Tea animal figurines (both circus AND wild animal series).

And what's the deal with the small stuffed animals in the back window of the car?

--------------------
It's a mess. But it's OUR mess! (A concise summary of Anglicanism.)

Posts: 59 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sioni Sais
Shipmate
# 5713

 - Posted      Profile for Sioni Sais   Email Sioni Sais   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Ornate wall clocks, especially sunburst style. Mrs Sioni's neice calls this style "cataloguey" from the kind of good you buy mail order.

It's difficult to imagine any wall clock other than a purely functional one looking inoffensive.

--------------------
"He isn't Doctor Who, he's The Doctor"

(Paul Sinha, BBC)

Posts: 24276 | From: Newport, Wales | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged
Rat
Ship's Rat
# 3373

 - Posted      Profile for Rat   Email Rat   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I had to train Mr Rat out of blue toilet water when we moved in together. It was one of my first priorities, of course.

I once had a bit of an embarassment with a guest in my last flat. It was a tenement flat in a building originally built around 1850. I'd just decorated the living room, and was saying that what I'd really like to do if I ever got the time would be to carefully remove the years and years of accumulated paint on the ornate cornice and ceiling rose. "Why bother?" my visitor piped up. "They're only polystyrene, just knock them off and get new ones from B&Q." Um, I said, I don't think they are polystyrene, in fact. "Yes of course they are, and you'll get new ones in B&Q for less than a tenner. Much nicer ones than those".

Some wine had been taken and things could have got a bit dicey, especially as my guest made no secret that she thought I was a complete, rampant idiot for being fooled into thinking there was such a thing as ceiling roses and cornices that were not polystyrene. Eventually I decided that hospitality was the better part of valour, and agreed that I'd have a good look at replacement cornicing the next time I was in B&Q.

--------------------
It's a matter of food and available blood. If motherhood is sacred, put your money where your mouth is. Only then can you expect the coming down to the wrecked & shimmering earth of that miracle you sing about. [Margaret Atwood]

Posts: 5285 | From: A dour region for dour folk | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rowen
Shipmate
# 1194

 - Posted      Profile for Rowen   Email Rowen   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Crocheted lace doilies over the back of sofas, which are befouled by hair oil and hairspray, and the owners of said doilies are unaware of the issue...

Living rooms which are temples to religious kitsch.

--------------------
"May I live this day… compassionate of heart" (John O’Donoghue)...

Posts: 4897 | From: Somewhere cold in Victoria, Australia | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

 - Posted      Profile for Callan     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I'm rather bewildered by this sort of thing. My main question about toilet accoutrements is 'will it kill things or clean things?' If the answer is yes, then it's fine by me. And if people like ducks flying across the wall, or whatever, then so be it. It's not my wall.

On the other hand, by the contents of their bookcases shall ye know them. I can get quite snotty about other people's literary taste. Or the contents of peoples CD racks. Any amount of cod-Victorian tat on the mantelpiece is less damning than a single Wilbur Smith or Carpenters CD.

--------------------
How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I always check out people's bookshelves. After I scope out their medicine cabinet.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
chive

Ship's nude
# 208

 - Posted      Profile for chive   Email chive   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
My pet hates are blessed thoughts tapestry and embroidery things framed round my house. My mother loves them but then she's the same woman that met me for lunch in a restaurant and told me, 'They do very nice scampi here.'

Also going to peoples houses and discovering no books at all. Instantly means they're not my sort of people. [Disappointed]

--------------------
'Edward was the kind of man who thought there was no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who hadn't done one-to-one Bible study with him.' Catherine Fox, Love to the Lost

Posts: 3542 | From: the cupboard under the stairs | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jack the Lass

Ship's airhead
# 3415

 - Posted      Profile for Jack the Lass   Author's homepage   Email Jack the Lass   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
On the other hand, by the contents of their bookcases shall ye know them. I can get quite snotty about other people's literary taste. Or the contents of peoples CD racks. Any amount of cod-Victorian tat on the mantelpiece is less damning than a single Wilbur Smith or Carpenters CD.

I rather like the Carpenters.

Athena posters bring out the snob in me though, I must admit.

--------------------
"My body is a temple - it's big and doesn't move." (Jo Brand)
wiblog blipfoto blog

Posts: 5767 | From: the land of the deep-fried Mars Bar | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ariel
Shipmate
# 58

 - Posted      Profile for Ariel   Author's homepage     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
My local home furnishings shop has a sale on. I don't like lava lamps, but I've always liked those fibre-optic lamps that look like some weird kind of futuristic fern with tips of different, glowing colours that slowly change.

I was not, however, tempted at all by the skull in a bowl that breathes out mist, or the string of papier mache carrots, or the dish of pink plastic hardboiled eggs, nor the tartan toilet seat. There are limits.

I'm just a bit bemused as to why anyone would consider even manufacturing papier mache carrots and pink plastic eggs.

Posts: 25445 | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Eigon
Shipmate
# 4917

 - Posted      Profile for Eigon   Author's homepage   Email Eigon   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
One of the worst things a friend's mother could say about a family, after visiting a house for the first time, was:
"It is a house without books."

--------------------
Laugh hard. Run fast. Be kind.

Posts: 3710 | From: Hay-on-Wye, town of books | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged
Jengie jon

Semper Reformanda
# 273

 - Posted      Profile for Jengie jon   Author's homepage   Email Jengie jon   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I once used a blue thing in the loo. It was a great improvement. The loo was shared by postgraduate students. As one knows having been one, they are the lowest of the low in the University (undergrads are just by products), in the scale that has cleaners and secretaries at the top (i.e. the true scale of importance).

Jengie

--------------------
"To violate a persons ability to distinguish fact from fantasy is the epistemological equivalent of rape." Noretta Koertge

Back to my blog

Posts: 20894 | From: city of steel, butterflies and rainbows | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ann

Curious
# 94

 - Posted      Profile for Ann   Email Ann   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Coot:
I am tasteful. Really. Why, I have held off buying something to put my toilet rolls in because I just can't find the right something. The dolls are right out. And popping them on those turned wooden poles just does not do. What is it, an oversize nursery toy? The long thin cannisters with lids are not asthetic - the proportions are not pleasing - and I wouldn't want visitors to dispose their personal sanitary items in it.

I've been thinking of a understated and unadorned cane basket with handle. 'Come hither. Youth gathering nuts in May' that sort of thing. What do you think?

Several Christmasses ago, someone gave us a thing to hold a couple of spare loo-rolls; it hangs from a hook and is just a loop of material, as wide as the loo-roll and big enough to take two with a line of stitching between them. (The one we were given was an over-fussy pattern and inch-and-a-half wide lace trimming. When we redecorated I made my own from a pale blue - to match the wat ... sorry, paintwork with a dark blue lining and narrow plain ribbon trim.) As we are a big family and I buy loo-rolls in packs of a dozen, I also have a sea-grass lidded box, just big enough to take a new pack, but small enough to fit between the loo and the wall. a similar basket (I realised after they'd sold out that it would be a good idea (to me) to buy another one) on the other side holds the cleaning stuff.

quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
Now the CofE is a thing all together, Sine. In the first parish I was posted to, my boss had seven sets of flying ducks around the house (downstairs anyway) and Winnie the Pooh decals on his kitchen walls. Mind you, he also had a pink pussycat embroidered on the neck of his stole where most of us have a cross. I wonder if you can guess why.

The office loo in one of the local churches has a china plate on the wall with the words, "Thou God seest me." on it

--------------------
Ann

Posts: 3271 | From: IO 91 PI | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
mousethief

Ship's Thieving Rodent
# 953

 - Posted      Profile for mousethief     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
Besides, it's cheating to make cleaning the toilet any easier. Probably something Catholics or the Orthodox would do.

I have urinated in any number of Orthodox toilets (you can tell by the tri-bar flush lever), and not one of them had blue water.

--------------------
This is the last sig I'll ever write for you...

Posts: 63536 | From: Washington | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Amphibalus

Cloak of anonymity
# 5351

 - Posted      Profile for Amphibalus   Email Amphibalus   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Never mind toilet-roll covers. One of my (otherwise fairly discriminating) brothers sent me for Christmas a few years ago a wine bottle cover. It is shaped like a penguin, and has a top hat (through which, I assume, you are supposed to pour the wine) and a pink bow tie which flashes when you press it. Yes, just the thing for those bottles of Margaux '95 that I have maturing in the 'cellar'.

I thought I had seen the last of it, but when I moved a year or so back it was rediscovered by the removers, and when they unpacked they deposited it on a high shelf in the back room, and now I can't reach it.

All of which reminds me of the 'in-house' umbrella at the local SPCK bookshop. No-one knows where it came from and we assume it was left by a customer who was finally too embarrassed to carry it around any more. It is shaped and decorated to look like the dome of St Peter's in Rome.

As none of the staff walk to work, there is never any other umbrella available, so this has to be pressed into service (extremely reluctantly) whenever there is banking to be done on a wet day - though one past member of staff would always rather get a drenching than be seen using it.

--------------------
I saw a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand
Walking through the streets of Soho in the rain
He was looking for the place called Lee Ho Fook’s
Going to get a big dish of beef chow mein. (Warren Zevon)

Posts: 1471 | From: Home of Ronnie Radford's boot | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged
Amos

Shipmate
# 44

 - Posted      Profile for Amos     Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I so agree about the books, Callan. Betweeen the people o have no books at all, the people who have large collections of brand-new hard-bound sword-and-sorcery novels, and the people who have every old-style Penguin ever published and arranged by jacket-colour on the landing, one simply doesn't know where to look. So one looks at the flying ducks.

Sine, apart from an old Staffordshire or Meissen shepherdess on the mantelpiece, can you think of any acceptable tchotchke? [Two face]

--------------------
At the end of the day we face our Maker alongside Jesus--ken

Posts: 7667 | From: Summerisle | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
duchess

Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764

 - Posted      Profile for duchess   Email duchess   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I do hate to admit it, but the blue water does unnerve me. It seems wrong.

My brother fixed my toilet a month ago and took out right away something that looked weird hanging in the toilet omitting some weird stuff, left by previous owner.

The toilet started needing cleaning almost every cotton-picking day after that. I will not go into detail even in hell about that. I went to Walgreens and for a buck, got myself a bleach tablet and dropped into the bottom of the tank. After a few days of bleach smell overkill, the bleach smell settled down and now I am back to not having to clean the toilet so much. I recommend the bleach tablets highly.

I have gone to bible studies the met at the home of a particular single young man and one thing that has frightened me is seeing pink candles plus cute little dust collectors objects and potpourri in a pretty bowl [Eek!] . My word. The gentleman who had this, had served in Operation Desert Storm as a Marine and has Semper Fi on his car. I have sadly seen this trait in straight men out here in California ... it is becoming a pattern. It is so wrong to go into a bathroom that reminds you of one of your froo-froo friends while you look around and start choking on the obnoxious fumes.
California men need to take the froo-froo stuff out of their bathrooms, unless they have a wife who likes it, or they are gay.

[*Cough cough*]

[ 30. October 2004, 17:07: Message edited by: duchess ]

Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pânts*

Ship's underwear
# 4487

 - Posted      Profile for Pânts*   Author's homepage   Email Pânts*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Maybe they keep their books in a different room?

--------------------
I'm not here any more. Dial 999 to get me. (No. Please don't really. Bit you could PM me on my new number cos I never get PMs!)

Posts: 8380 | From: The Stables | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged
JohnBoot
BOOTED
# 3566

 - Posted      Profile for JohnBoot   Email JohnBoot   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Geschmackvoll is a delightful word. Whenever I say it, a childlike grin appears on my face, replacing the usual smirk.
Posts: 789 | From: Detroit | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Amos:
Sine, apart from an old Staffordshire or Meissen shepherdess on the mantelpiece, can you think of any acceptable tchotchke? [Two face]

I am reminded of a couple of comments:

Elsie de Wolfe (Lady Mendl), whom, as we all know, virtually invented the career of Interior Decorator for women, as well as being the creator of "blue hair", firmly believed every room needs a dash of vulgarity to come alive.

And an aristocratic French aquaintance of Edith Wharton's once said Mrs. Wharton's taste was too perfect and thus her decoration too cold. She further commented "Good taste removes your Great-Aunt's stuffed fox from the mantel, but experience puts it back."

So, in answer I would say that anything you truly love or that has significance in your life is an acceptable tchotchke, but not whatever they're pushing as the latest thing in Home Decor at Tar-zhay.

But I suspect you knew that already and were just testing me.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by JohnBoot:
Geschmackvoll is a delightful word.

It is indeed. Thank-you so much. It Pays to Increase Your Word Power.

p.s.: Keep saying it.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
California men need to take the froo-froo stuff out of their bathrooms

Gee, maybe if you're real lucky, your little love chicken doesn't even bathe.

(p.s.: Please PM me address of froo-froo ex-Marine. He sounds both manly and sensitive. A deadly combination, in my book at least.)

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
babybear
Bear faced and cheeky with it
# 34

 - Posted      Profile for babybear   Email babybear   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
Sine, I have got to wonder how you would feel if the water wasn't blue, but a delicate mauve.

Pants, if you have books, they are in every room.

quote:
Rowan said:
Crocheted lace doilies over the back of sofas, which are befouled by hair oil and hairspray, and the owners of said doilies are unaware of the issue...

But that proves that the doilies are working! They are actually antimacassars, especially to stop hair oil from marking the furniture. (Macassar- a type of hair oil use in Victorian times.)

For toilet cleaning I keep some lemon scented mult-purpose cleaning fluid in the toilet brush holder. Each morning I give the toilet a quick whooosh. And everything smell lovely and lemony.

[Fixed code]

[ 24. November 2004, 16:53: Message edited by: KenWritez ]

Posts: 13287 | From: Cottage of the 3 Bears (and The Gremlin) | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
duchess

Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764

 - Posted      Profile for duchess   Email duchess   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Sine Nomine:
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
California men need to take the froo-froo stuff out of their bathrooms

Gee, maybe if you're real lucky, your little love chicken doesn't even bathe.

(p.s.: Please PM me address of froo-froo ex-Marine. He sounds both manly and sensitive. A deadly combination, in my book at least.)

Manly and sensitive is sitting through an entire movie of Pride and Prejudice without rolling his eyes and wondering why women get so hung up on this stuff, yet being able to deal with a robber who breaks in to your house with nice big gun.

Ex-marine is extremely straight as an arrow which makes the bathroom decorations worriesome for those who pray about our brethren. He asks people to pray for him to find a wife.

If I find a gay one like him, I will be sure to pm you with his digits, as long as you promise not to break hearts, you Carson-wanna-be-mack-daddy, enticing strapping young buck with flea-market painting, love em and leave em. Poor lad.

[Would the Fab 5 use candles and such in their bathrooms? Enquiring minds wanna know.]

[ 30. October 2004, 18:02: Message edited by: duchess ]

--------------------
♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮
Ship of Fools-World Party

Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by babybear:
Sine, I have got to wonder how you would feel if the water wasn't blue, but a delicate mauve.

...perhaps with a couple of rose petals floating in it, like in the finger-bowl at a formal dinner.

Now that would be really Ree-Fined lookin'.

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
JohnBoot
BOOTED
# 3566

 - Posted      Profile for JohnBoot   Email JohnBoot   Send new private message       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
I know the hall-monitors are tetchy about being reminded to do their job, but aren't there tiresome rules on this board about pimpin'?
Posts: 789 | From: Detroit | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by duchess:
He asks people to pray for him to find a wife.

[Killing me] I'll just bet he does.

(Girl, you are so naive I'm surprised they let you out of the house by yourself.)

Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sine Nomine*

Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631

 - Posted      Profile for Sine Nomine*   Email Sine Nomine*       Edit/delete post   Reply with quote 
quote:
Originally posted by JohnBoot:
I know the hall-monitors are tetchy about being reminded to do their job, but aren't there tiresome rules on this board about pimpin'?

Flirting. It's no flirting. I believe pimpin' is permitted as long as they get a cut.
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged



Pages in this thread: 1  2  3 
 
Post new thread  Post a reply Close thread   Feature thread   Move thread   Delete thread Next oldest thread   Next newest thread
 - Printer-friendly view
Go to:

Contact us | Ship of Fools | Privacy statement

© Ship of Fools 2016

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classicTM 6.5.0

 
follow ship of fools on twitter
buy your ship of fools postcards
sip of fools mugs from your favourite nautical website
 
 
  ship of fools