Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Anthropologist from Hell
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
"Goodbye, RooKy Poppins. Don't stay away too long."
-------------------- Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
Posts: 8419 | From: Nashville, TN | Registered: Feb 2003
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
Posts: 10787 | Registered: Jul 2001
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by ChastMastr: David also loves the ride. Be afraid, be very afraid...
No! Please say it isn't so!
The jedi remembers times past, and the agony of waiting for the "ride" to be over. It invariably broke down every time she accompanied small children to that Small World, and that awful music kept going on and on and on... It is surely of the Dark Side!!
-------------------- ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Hey, lunch is about to leave! No way!
KenWritez bounds over and bites off RooK's head.
Hmmmm...tastes like chicken.
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
RooK's body pats at the severed neck, then starts cheerfully using sign language to say, "I'M FREE! I'M FREE!!!", then skips off through the fields.
A disembodied voice emanates from KenWritez's gullet.
Well, that bites. Dude, I'm like sooo going to get even. Just as soon as I learn to use my ears like fins I'm going to swim over to your spleen and gnaw it away.
...Whoa. I didn't know that you had four stomachs. Hey, is this Jimmy Hoffa over here?
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
Chast,
I now have this image of you (clad in leather and singing "It's a small world after all" under a giant disco ball) stuck in my head.
No offense, but I'm going to run screaming from the thread now.
Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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Campbellite
Ut unum sint
# 1202
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Posted
Not speaking from personal experience, mind you, but I understand that's a fairly accurate description.
-------------------- I upped mine. Up yours. Suffering for Jesus since 1966. WTFWED?
Posts: 12001 | From: between keyboard and chair | Registered: Aug 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
Ya know what'd go good right now? A big plate of roasted garlic and some Diet Coke.
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Kelly Alves
Bunny with an axe
# 2522
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Posted
saysay, I love how RooK's decapitation doesn't bother you,but Chastmastr at a disco does.
Kelly//at least it wasn't a vital organ...
-------------------- I cannot expect people to believe “ Jesus loves me, this I know” of they don’t believe “Kelly loves me, this I know.” Kelly Alves, somewhere around 2003.
Posts: 35076 | From: Pura Californiana | Registered: Mar 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Oh good. There's some hope that this mostly-gravy stomach fluid will get diluted a bit.
Um, have you been dreaming about eating giant marshmallows, and waking up to find pillows missing? Seriously, big fella, you've got to learn to chew. It's bad enough to be stuck in here with soggy bedding, but I really didn't need to see the Hello Kitty patterns on the covers.
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
Lost in a reverie of dancing bears, E-rides, pretty girls and pirates, the droid wakes late to the clanging evac alarm. Frantically scanning the clearing below for a lock on the anthropologist, he realizes in horror that there are several coordinate points!
Sweet Sarky in the morning! Too late! He's been dismembered and parts scattered! Sobbing into the transporter controls, he advances levers to retrieve the scattered body. I've failed...what punishment awaits back in Hell?
The T-deck shimmers as a dopplered whine builds. With great effort the disparate parts are pulled into the ship and condensed. Recovered! The blinding glow subsides as the droid rushes forward...
An unspeakable abomination thrashes about on the deck. Part human, part bunny, part cat...a nightmarish morass of exposed organs and weirdly interwoven bits of chocolate! Where it's head should be is an unmistakeable human stomach... regurgitating and repeatedly sucking up it's own bile!
The droid steels himself to complete the mission and bring the quivering pile of Hellhost back home. Perhaps we can rebuild him...make him better, faster... more hellish!
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
The jedi looks up at the antique space craft. It feels ..cold.. up there. Ah, the dark side chess piece has been transported up.
Bye!! Y'all come back now, y'hear?
The jedi goes off to look for the bovine Sarky creature. There is hope for that sweet being! And, she's an art lover, too.
-------------------- ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Kelly Alves: saysay, I love how RooK's decapitation doesn't bother you,but Chastmastr at a disco does.
Kelly//at least it wasn't a vital organ...
Hey, I once taught small children. I can deal with blood and all other bodily fluids.
But "It's a Small World"? That's just cruel.
Besides, I'm sure RooK would be a lot happier and more pleasant to be around without his twisted brain...
Silly robot, putting the creature back together again.
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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ChastMastr
Shipmate
# 716
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Posted
Soon... soon my album will be here... soon... and I owe it all to this thread (and the other place I mentioned) for inspiring me to hunt it down once and for all...
-------------------- My essays on comics continuity: http://chastmastr.tumblr.com/tagged/continuity
Posts: 14068 | From: Clearwater, Florida | Registered: Jul 2001
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
O, man! Thirty minutes after you've eaten a Hellhost, you're hungry again!
-------------------- "The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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RooK
1 of 6
# 1852
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Posted
Silly robot, RooKs are for tricks... No, wait. I meant to say, Hellhosts taste great and they're less filling!
(Using eldritch powers, RooK reconstitutes himself. Then, winks at Gort and produces a pair of jedi panties.)
Hoo-AH! Who knew that Judy was into g-strings?
(High-fives Gort.)
Posts: 15274 | From: Portland, Oregon, USA, Earth | Registered: Nov 2001
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Alfred E. Neuman
What? Me worry?
# 6855
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Posted
The droid hangs the panties from the rearview mirror while cranking down the driver's side window of the saucer. With a glare of contempt (as contemptible as possible with a featureless visor) he shakes his fist at the heavenly crowd and shouts:
You will pay!!! You will ALL PAAAAYYYYYY !!!
[the alien craft backfires, belches smoke and chugs away into the sky]
Posts: 12954 | Registered: May 2004
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The Bede's American Successor
Curmudgeon-in-Training
# 5042
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Hoo-AH! Who knew that Judy was into g-strings?
(High-fives Gort.)
Maybe they do know how to use those ticklers, after all.
-------------------- This was the iniquity of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride of wealth and food in plenty, comfort and ease, and yet she never helped the poor and the wretched.
—Ezekiel 16.49
Posts: 6079 | From: The banks of Possession Sound | Registered: Oct 2003
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saysay
Ship's Praying Mantis
# 6645
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by ChastMastr: Soon... soon my album will be here... soon... and I owe it all to this thread (and the other place I mentioned) for inspiring me to hunt it down once and for all...
You somehow know it's my birthday and are just trying to torture me, right?
-------------------- "It's been a long day without you, my friend I'll tell you all about it when I see you again" "'Oh sweet baby purple Jesus' - that's a direct quote from a 9 year old - shoutout to purple Jesus."
Posts: 2943 | From: The Wire | Registered: May 2004
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jedijudy*
Jedi defender of ship's cats
# 1059
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Posted
The jedi is walking through the woods, enjoying the sweet air and the birdsong. Butterflies are flitting about. Bees are humming and small furry creatures bound along the warm ground. The jedi spies a ruby grapefruit tree. There's still a few grapefruit at the very top!
Now that would be the perfect snack right about now.
The jedi raises her hand to use the Force...
Oh, yes. Master Yoda suggested I should improve some of my physical skills and accuracy.
The jedi reaches into the pocket of her robe for the slingshot she keeps there. Then she tries some of her other pockets. Finally she looks in her boots.
Where is that slingshot? I know I had it when I left home. Didn't I?
The jedi looks up at the sound of backfiring engines in the sky. There, hanging from the rear view mirror of the antique spacecraft...she thinks it might be an Edsel...is her slingshot.
Those dirty pups!
-------------------- ENFP...do you see a "T" anywhere??? I don't think so.
Posts: 3248 | From: Soon to be inhabiting identity # 333!!! | Registered: Aug 2001
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