Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: SoF Idol
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Chorister
 Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Sine, you sound just like 'The Cat' from Red Dwarf. Are you by any chance related? [ 18. December 2004, 08:55: Message edited by: Chorister ]
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
Posts: 34626 | From: Cream Tealand | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sine Nomine*
 Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote: Full Name: Cat Rank: Most Handsome Guy Aboard This Ship
Apparently.
(Oh my. What a loathsome post, even for me. The devil made me do it.)
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Sine Nomine*
 Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Belisarius: The judgements/poll should be up on around Friday.
Of what month?
Posts: 10696 | Registered: Dec 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Chorister:
Quoted from Marshmallow Candyfloss on the Heaven thread 'My favourite praise-chorus': quote: Even if Chorister were to sing 'I just wanna praise you x3' it would still sound heavenly!
Well. Little Miss Fotherington-Tomas. Let me just say that your post was the nicest bit of niceness I have ever read. Of course my voice would enhance the sound of any choral item you may care to think of. (Flutters eyelashes modestly) But there is only one person in the world who is capable of making such a fluffetty song sound halfway acceptable to the human ear, and that is you, my dear sweet halo clouds, halo sky, feathery one . I will recommend you for the prized solo, as I shall unfortunately be unavoidably delayed that day, running in the opposite direction - trying to beat the 2-minute mile record, all in aid of my favourite musical charity, of course......
SARKYCOW: quote: I can see that you were trying really hard in this post. I feel, however, that you didn’t give quite as polished a response as I would have hoped, petal. Your snide remarks felt a little forced and clumsy, as if you weren’t entirely happy posting in this way. That’s a shame, because until now I would have said you were a strong all-round poster. However, it was a valiant effort despite this slight mis-hit
Points: 2
GRITS: quote: So you're a singer, eh? Could've fooled me. Ah, I'm just funning with you, sister. I just hope you're a better singer than you are a poster. I couldn't tell if you were telling her off or asking her out.
Points: 1
STOO: quote: Hmmm. Not too bad a start. Ruined by the boast expressed in the third sentence.
Am also deducting points for being far too obsequious. It just descended into levels too treacley to think about.
Points: 1
Total Score: 4
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Mad Geo: quote: Originally posted by HappyCatNanny: I LOVE mullets soooo much. My 8-year old son wears one, like his sweet daddy. He looks soooo cute! I think Ozzie Osbourne's show will soon bring back the mullet. Those 80s, that were the days.
HappyCatNanny,
The 80s are over, please accept it for all of us, if not for your son.
Just because The Mullet exists doesn??™t mean one should. Yes, Bell Bottom Pants and afros made a comeback from the 1970s, but that doesn??™t mean that someday soon people will be falling all over themselves to look like a bad re-mix of Billy-the Mullet Man-Cyrus. If you think people are gonna want to look that bad in the future, you are hiding under a serious cloud of fashion Pollyanna.
Likewise, leg warmers, red leather with copious zippers on any straight man, and "hairstyles" that involve hairspraying six inches over your head in any straight or gay man (or woman for that matter) is....just....so....over. The fact that you even know what an ???LP??? is, says it all. Please, look into getting an iPod already.
If you must continue to dream those happy (?) dreams of the 80s, you may want to consider the Midwest or Texas. I hear big hair there is a way of life.
P.S. Your cat probably doesn't like that 80s Hair Metal Band look either, the hairspray will poison him when he licks his fur. Probably better get him to the vet fast.
P.S.2 Your son is probably getting beat up in school over his hair. You probably should let him cut it. You don't have to admit it, I know he has asked you to already....
SARKYCOW: quote: Straight shooting from the new guy! This entry told it how it is, yet stopped well short of personal attack or general jerkish behaviour. A clarion call of honest disagreement, which makes a refreshing change to the more usual ways in which Heaven’s denizens disagree with one another. Wonderful.
Points: 3
GRITS: quote: I happen to like Billy Ray Cyrus. And I think you referenced the gay/straight thing one time too many, dude. I'm willing to bet you're either sporting a mullet yourself or at the least, there's one in your not too distant past. And you really should leave the children out.
Points: 1
STOO: quote: I liked it.
That is, until I noticed how many links there were. You might like little red words cluttering your page. I don't.
A preview post would have been useful also. I believe the second half of your second sentence is missing.
Despite all that, it wasn't too bad.
Points: 2
Total Score: 6
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by RooK: Isn't it just adorable how Mad Geo sticks to his roots? We should all learn a lesson about convictions and always being true to ourselves from his post. He didn't resort to any sickening sweetness or unconvincing praise, even though the big mean Admin seemed to imply that he should, because that just wouldn't be him. Kudos to you Mad Geo, for being so brave.
SARKYCOW: quote: A master-piece of snide insinuation, condescension and passive-aggressive smoothness! One of the most beautiful example of how to denigrate someone without resorting to personal attack or general jerkishness, that I have ever read. It’s such a shame you aren’t allowed to join the competition – you would certainly be in the finals, sweetie.
Points: 3
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sine Nomine: From the "Doncha Just LUV Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" thread in Heaven: quote: Originally posted by PrincessTyneeMeet: I just adore gay guys. One of my best friends is gay. My stylist, Dwade. He is sooo cute and always makes me laugh while he's touching up my roots. I feel kinda bad sometimes 'cause my pastor says gay guys are going to Hell and my boyfriend, Dirk, is mean to them sometimes 'cause he thinks what they do in bed is kinda gross. But I keep telling Dirk he needs to let Dwade give him a makeover likes those cute little guys on TV do.
Hi, Princess. Welcome to the ship! I see this is your fifth post. And you're already starting a thread. Good for you. I admire a newbie with confidence. I just know you'll be a real addition to the boards with your perkiness and enthusiasm.
I really luv gay guys too. Some of my best friends are gay, just like yours. My stylist, Danny, is just a stitch. We laugh and laugh when he cuts my hair. Sometimes I have to tell him to cut back on the mousse a bit, 'cause too much mousse looks a little, well, fagola to me. If you know what I mean. Which I'm sure you do.
Good luck with getting a makeover for Dirk. I bet he'll really like Dwade once he gets to know him. After a couple of blow dries they'll probably be great friends. Dirk will probably want a weekly appointment for a cut & blow. He'll be a changed man. A real metrosexual. I bet you'll hardly recognize him.
Anyway, look around the ship and explore the various boards. Come on down and post some on the Hell board. We have a lot of laughs down there. Hope to see you in Hell ( ) soon!
SARKYCOW: quote: On the surface a friendly and welcoming post, ostensibly supporting and laughing with a clueless newbie. However, by the end of the post it’s clear that you are really poking fun at the newbie, baiting them into being even more outrageously stupid, and generally showing up their cluelessness! I congratulate you, hon. You’ve always been my favourite to win, and this post is yet another example of your multitude of talents.
Points: 3 [Having read your second post: 5 – a superbly subtle put-down hidden with sickly sweet commiserations. Just wonderful petal.]
GRITS: quote: I guess you, like the rest of us, are assuming this little piece of work is a few shades beyond blond (hair and brain), thanks, in part, to her hairdresser/token gay friend. Every girl wants to be Grace now, you know, and where there's a Will, there's a Dwade. Good one, dawg.
Points: 3
STOO: quote: I knew you had what it takes to make SOF Idol. You just needed a little shaping, and, I have to say, you are now taking shape.
It was perfectly passive-aggressive, and just subtle enough to not acquire a rebuke from anyone who saw through the veneer and disagreed with your sentiment.
Points: 3
Total Score: 9+--Immunity Granted [ 19. December 2004, 21:25: Message edited by: Belisarius ]
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Left at the Altar: Originally posted by Bliss Nanny:
quote: Hi!!! I've been "lurking" for quite a while and have worked up the "courage" to start a thread!!!! Gosh this is a nice place!! Except for Hell. I mean, "really"!!! I thought I would start up a thread so that you can all give me some "good advice".
My name is Bliss Nanny (though not really, of course!!) and I am 21 and I have this really "hot" boyfriend, who has posted a couple of times (his ship name is "BlissBoy" ), on topics that are seemingly topical, but are really secret love messages to me ( ) and I miss him sooooo much between breakfast and lunch, when he is at school. We are engaged to be engaged. Gosh I love him.
My interests are my boyfriend, my boyfriend's hobbies (mainly me!!! ).
So, "Shipmates" and "apprentices" (gosh, what great names!!}, what advice do you have for me, as a newbie to "the Ship". Where should I "hang out"? With love Bliss Nanny.
Hang out in at the Church of Fools.
Here's the link http://www.shipoffools.com/church/ Go now.
SARKYCOW: quote: A short, sharp and to-the-point rebuff. And all without making any personal attack! Just very clearly saying “Go away you fool”. I am very impressed :-)
Points: 3
GRITS: quote: What can I say? That wasn't a cut; that was a fine fillet. Good response, girlfriend.
Points: 3 (Although I'm OK with someone deducting points for your implied dig at the CofF. "Really.")
STOO: quote: Nice.
Succinct and to the point.
Well, grasshopper, we are learning, aren't we?
Points: 3
Total Score: 9--Immunity Granted
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by kiwigoldfish: ORIGINAL POST by "Something Twee": THREAD: Let's Share Our Banner Making Ideas quote: Hi everyone. I'm an avid banner maker, and was so excited to find yet another Christian website where I could meet other banner makers.
Banners truly glorify God in a way that no other form of worship can come close to. Don't you agree that waving the banner as we sing makes our whole soul sing with us? I think every church should do it.
Personally I'm into big, bright banners. The last one I made was red with a gold trim, and had the words "Jesus really loves me" on it. It was so touching to wave it during our recent praise march through town. What have you done lately with your banners? Have you found the banner that fits all occassions?
Making the banner is as much fun as using it - except when my cat tries to go to sleep on the fabric!
God simply adores it when we wave our banners to Him!!!!
So "let it fly in the sky and let the whole world know!!"
Twee
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hi Something Twee,
Hmm, banners. Where to begin?
Personally I'm of the ultra-ultra-minimalist ilk when it comes to banners and flags. The smaller the better.
I definitely can't think of a banner that would benefit all occasions. Come to that I struggle to think of an occasion that would benefit from having any banners. With the possible exception of a banner burning evening.
Not that I'm doubting your talents in this field. Perhaps you are the exception that will prove the rule.
quote: Originally posted by Something Twee: God simply adores it when we wave our banners to Him!!!!
Then I guess even the Almighty finds it hard to be completely perfect.
SARKYCOW: quote: You answered the questions and comments in an overtly friendly and helpful way, yet managed to inject undertones of distaste, mockery and scorn. A beautiful example post of how to disagree and put-down, Heaven-style.
Points: 3
GRITS: quote: Banners are of Satan. I give you props for maintaining your restraint on this one. Anyone from the Southern U.S. can tell what trouble flags can get you into.
Points: 2
STOO: quote: Well, this would be a good heavenly smackdown if you removed the "exception that proves the rule" sentence.
These people need no encouragement, and I'm deducting marks for that, quite blatant, schoolboy error.
Points: 2
Total Score: 7--Immunity Granted
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by dolphy: ------------------------------------ From the Heaven thread: Women are not good enough to play the new Bond.
quote: Originally posted by Tim Connery-Dalton: It really is so obvious that Bond has to be played by a man. Not only do we have the intellegence, good looks and humour that you women lack, we also have the physical strength(where's that 'fit bloke' smilie when you need it, can the Hosts provide us with one please?)
Do you ever see a man cry over splitting a nail after jumping out of a plane at two thousand feet, free falling (no parachute) to the ground, landing perfectly without so much as a graze and then running off to save Miss Moneypenny from the evil, scary, bad guy?
Do we ever take an eternity to decide what clothes we are going to wear on a mission of the highest secrecy?: "No, I can't possibly go and protect the Queen wearing this red top, it doesn't suit my eyes"... "does my bum look too big in this ski suit, are the weapons of mass destruction secretly concealed inside it making my boobs look lopsided?".
Sheesh! IMO, the world would come to a halt if a woman ever even dared to suggest herself for the high powered job of playing Bond. As an aside, I personally think that the only change that needs to be made is a Knighthood. "My name is Bond, James Bond but you will call me Sir"
Have you no sense people? Men are the better and stronger sex both physically and mentally. We never feel the need to go to the bathroom in pairs for saftey. Actually, on reflection, in some cases (like famous singers) that might be true but that's another thread, and I would not like to post anything slanderous here. But, can you not get it through your female brains that there is no Bond better than a male Bond? Sheesh, you'll be saying you what a female blonde Bond next!
<Edited by Sir Tim-the-Man for effect, as if Bond would ever mess up his code >
Timmy dear, you either have an one heck of an overly-inflated ego (chosing my words carefully here ) or perhaps you have spent too much time dreaming of what you could have achieved IRL. Darling boy, as much as us women love and respect our male friends, lovers and heros, you just do not seem to comprehend that if it was not for us women the world would come to a halt. I shall not witter on about periods, child-birth, feminism and the difference between colds and flu since it is not appropriate here, this is Heaven after all.
Timbo, you seem to have failed to realise that if Jane Bond did happen to break a nail after free-falling from a great hight, or if she could not decide what clothes to wear whilst saving Mr Moneypenny from the big bad guys, or if our "boobs" did look lop-sided in our ski suit, there would be a crew person and/or make-up artist on set to make sure we always look as wonderful as we are.
As for the strength, well let's face it my friend, we may not all be painfully thin supermodels but we are the creators, the ones you come home to, the ones who are always there when you have had a hard day at work, the ones who cook for you, clean the house, make sure the shopping is done, make sure there is a meal on the table, make sure that you have enough beers in the fridge when the match is on. Women are strong in body and mind, we have to be to put up with your chaps!
Tim, I know you are a really nice, sweet chap (thanks for buying me a pint at the recent GB meet btw ) but you really need to come to your senses over this issue.
I stand by my previous post (see page two of your thread) and vote:
Dawn French for the part of Jane Bond.
SARKYCOW: quote: You’ve tried really hard here dear, and done really well. However, your post did come across as a little petulant. Still, you took each point of the man’s argument, and answered it wonderfully; generally showing how wrong he was. Well done!
Points: 2
GRITS: quote: She's channeling the spirit of RuthW on this one, people. Bring home the bacon and fry it up in the pan, girl. And that Dawn French -- now that's a real woman.
Points: 2
STOO: quote: Well, it wasn't bad, but then again I can't say there was much in it that stood out.
The topic is as old as the proverbial hills, and although old jokes may be best, old smackdowns are not.
Points: 1
Total Score: 5
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Vikki Pollard: Dear fellow competitors, I am so enjoying this! I feel truly humbled (no - really!) to have got through to the third round with such wonderful people - Sine, you rock Hon!
I don't think there was a 'no comment' rule, was there? (If so, I missed it - sorry Beli! ) I also missed the bit about having to write a complete post to quote and respond to - whoops, I guess this invalidates my entry, doesn't it? I misunderstood - I thought we were going to be judged on our replies rather than a witty 'quote' from a non-existent poster. Anyway I've sort of responded to all my fellow-competitors on here, instead. If that invalidates my entry, sheesh, I apologise. It's been great anyway! And I love all your entries! I think any of us would be a worthy winner. Well, possibly excepting me, of course.
One of the great things about the Ship is the tolerance shown to people who sometimes don't quite 'get' it (unless one is called to Hell, of course ) and so I hope you will all bear with me for simply sticking to what I'd understood to be the rules. I hope I haven't spoilt it for anyone. If so, feel free to PM me and I will fire off a grovelling apology - if there are enough complaints, I might even start a thread apologising!
Love 'n' stuff - and GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!!!!
Vikki xxx
SARKYCOW: quote: A very under-stated, heavily veiled disagreement with others, in this post. Very very clever dear, but no one likes a smart arse, do they?
Points: 2
GRITS: quote: What can I say? Your post rocked. It may me feel all sickly, sweet inside, knowing you were dissing folks while putting the LUV on them. Props on your creative use of smilies, too, lady.
Points: 3
STOO: quote: You don't seem to have quite got the hang of this, do you?
Did you see in the rules where your reply should be to someone "starting a thread praising something you despise"?
Obviously not.
To my mind, that most certainly does "invalidate your entry." Can't say I apologise though.
Points: 0
Total Score: 5
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Rossweisse: From the "101 Uses for a Dead Pipe Organ LOL" thread in Heaven: quote: Originally posted by The Guitar God Hi everbody!!! Im Todd, THE GUITAR GOD and you can read about me here on web page Me and my girlfrend Myrtle just found Jesus and then we found this wonderfull Christin community and we re all excited to be hear LOL.
PTL!!!
So I have a cool idea for a fun thred. We went to a chruch were they had this big honkin PIPE ORGAN!!! Man I couldnt' beleive the sound it made or the music -- durges LOL. We'are lookin for a place where we can ROCK THE CHURCH and make the music with OUR BAND!!! but first lets think of some fun thing to do with a dead pipe organ.
First fun idea: MAKE A STILL with some of the pipes for tubing.
Second fun idea: TARGET PRACTISS, nuff said.
Thrid fun idea: ...
"Nuff said," indeed.
Welcome to the Ship, Todd. That's quite a resume you have there, and I hope you find a faith community that fully appreciates all that you have to offer.
Of course, you should realize that some of us are very fond of pipe organs and their music -- even the "durges." (LOL!)
But I'm willing to join in the fun. Here's my thought: A couple of years ago, a church near here suffered an electrical fire. Soot got everywhere -- including inside the organ pipes. When they took them down, they discovered that many of them had dead birds inside them; the birds had attempted to nest in the pipes and lived (briefly) to regret it. The pipes still worked, despite the feathery corpses within.
I think it would be fun to see if a 32-footer would hold a 6-foot, 112-pound guitar player and still sound. Are you up for the challenge? (LOL!)
Rossweisse // always willing to try something new
SARKYCOW: quote: A lovely turn around of the OPer’s silly suggestions. What a smashing way to show someone how completely you disagree with them
Points: 3
GRITS: quote: You church musicians are a rough bunch. I'm sure Todd got the message loud and clear. I'm glad he's found God, aren't you?
Points: 2
STOO: quote: I have to say that wasn't too bad. I liked the vague threat to the guitarist too.
It would have been snappier, however, without that section about hoping he'd find a faith community that appreciates what he has to offer. Be honest, love. You don't hope that at all. You hope he grows up, cuts his hair, gets a job and closes down his website.
Points: 2
Total Score: 7--Immunity Granted
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by duchess: quote: Originally posted by ken:
<snip!> Anyway everyone knows that your ancestors weren't killed by the Indians because your ancestors were obviously colonialists and invaders and oppressors and did most of the killing themselves. In the unlikely event any of them got killed themselves they obvioulsly must have deserved it!
And of course you voted for Indian Gaming. After all those centuries of oppression who could be so cruel as to stop them playing a few games? Baseball, perhaps?
Ken, since you are almost as Protestant as I am, I begged my mom to look through her list of ancestors and find the NAMES of the ancestors killed by Indians. I also forgot to add Indians killing off people around them was commonplace which I included an example.
BTW, one of my ancestors, Sam Barr, great-or great-great, was a Swedish Borgian, my mom just yelled from the other room. I am AT my mother's house and she just looked this letter up for me in her pile of ancestor papers. I am going to save this post in my archieve for anyone else who wants to diss me and my ancestors - (forerunners which explains why I got to exist after most of this family was killed off ).
This is from a letter from Robert Sloan Alexander to Mitchell Patterson...Brookings, South Dakota March 12, 1910....to try make it succint...this man is 85 years old who wrote this letter. He is my grandmother Harriet (the one in Iowa who is now 97)'s great great uncle. Robert Sloan Alexander's grandfather was my great great great Grandfather. His name was William Alexander. William Alexander married Susan Knox who is my great-great-great-grandma on My grandmother Harriet's side. Robert Sloan Alexander is the 85 year old writing this letter to Mitchell Patterson.
Scott Alexander in 1902 told me that in the archieves of Pa. William Alexander, my granfather was a captain of a Co. for defense against the Indians, in the Revolutionary stuggle. He married Susan Knox who when a little girl had been taken prisoner in the previous French and Indian war. She was with the Indians in the wilds of Ohio 3 years and was finally exahnged at Fort Duquesne, Pittsburg. I remember her quite well. Oh! that I could have known to have her tales written.
(There I will put in what I heard from Aunt Angie (my father's eldest sister, Susan Angeline McCune Hill)) The family of Susan Knox, were her father, mother, older brother, and an older sister, and a baby. The day the Indians came her older sister was away from home. The Indians killed the father and son (or her brother) when they fought defending the family. The baby was swung against a tree, and the mother died from exhaustion. Susan [duchess's great-great-great grandma] was saved only because a squaw took a fancy to her and took care of her. When she was exchanged [at] Fort Duqesne, the older sister recoginized her by a piece of dress material and by her pet name. The older sister became the mother of James Knox Polk, on President of these United States.)
The older sister Jane Knox married Samuel Polk and produced James Knox Polk. Source here.
(BTW, James Knox Polk was a great-grandnephew of John Knox, the founder of Scottish Presbyterianism, which makes me [duchess] in a way even more Protestant (pls figure this out, especially if you are Scottish and don't like me). James Knox Polk was my great-great uncle. Source, this letter and also history from http://www.reidpres.com/ scroll down U.S. Presidents and others who were Presbyterians) James K. Polk married Susan Knox's older sister.
In the early Indian war times, my grandfrather, Andrew Reid <snip!>'s leaving was about the time when a whole school had been murdered by the Indians, near where they lived [Franklin Co.] No doubt you have read of it in history.
I have more stories if you wish, but that will do for now.
SARKYCOW: quote: Wonderful use of a passive-aggressive style with which to cloak your disagreement. I especially liked the hammering with a multitude of details. You’ve done brilliantly poppet.
Points: 3
GRITS: quote: You know, sweetie, there are sometimes it's OK to phone it in, but the Ship of Fools Idol contest ain't one of 'em. I appreciate the history lesson and all, but your post was just that -- history.
Points: 1
STOO: quote: I've read it three times, and had to prop my eyes open with matchsticks.
I'm sure it's very worthy.
I just couldn't be arsed to read it again to check. Unfortunately, that doesn't bode very well for your points score.
Oh, about the other stories - we don't wish.
Points: 1
Total Score: 5
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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duchess
 Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
GRITS, you dissed me, girlfriend. I know where you live. No more Arnott cookies for you! ![[Disappointed]](graemlins/disappointed.gif)
-------------------- ♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮ Ship of Fools-World Party
Posts: 11197 | From: Do you know the way? | Registered: May 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The Polls' results have been archived.
We regret to announce that Dolphy lost this round.
ROUND 4
Each Contestant will pretend to be posting on the Purgatory thread "Was the Late Roman Empire Really Christian?" Each post will have two parts:
- The first part will be a remotely-related tangent involving something for which the Contestant has RL expertise.
- The second part will be a convoluted allusion to a Dead Horse. This part should end with the following--"But [the Dead Horse] is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop the subject."
Immunity is no longer being granted. In the following two rounds, however, each Contestant will have a chance to win 2 extra votes. In Round 4, a Contestant must get a score of 6 or higher to qualify; in Round 5, a Contestant's score must be 7 or higher.
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Mad Geo
 Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
So who's moving forward from the vote? I am so confused.
-------------------- Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
Posts: 11730 | From: People's Republic of SoCal | Registered: Jun 2002
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The Sudden Death Poll concerned two tied Contestants; the other three were safe to move forward.
The remaining Contestants:
Chorister Duchess Kiwigoldfish Left at the Altar Mad Geo Rossweisse Sine Nomine Vikki Pollard
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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duchess
 Ship's Blue Blooded Lady
# 2764
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Posted
Purgatory thread "Was the Late Roman Empire Really Christian
You reckon going to Duran Duran concerts is not Christian?
KISS MY SWEETBREAD!
Look, I have gone to various Duran Duran concerts over the years, Missy. The very first one I missed since I forged a note from my mother and my school dean caught me. I was cleaning lockers when a math teacher walked by with his lady friend. To impress her, he made fun of me. "HA HA, you have to clean the lockers!" His lady friend told him to knock it off...felt sorry for me...so there he did not impress her. HA HA.
Later on, I made up for this horrible experience of missing the Simon LeBon dance moves....the Reflex...the Reflex...I started attending every cotton-picking Duran Duran concert that came to the Bay Area. As in Roman Times, momma likes her entertainment. Here they are in SF Xmas Eve this year. They perform in the Bay Area in March btw. Gotta get me another tee-shirt...yet I disgress...
Anyway, In fact the Romans had their Duran Duran people. One though was John the Baptist. His head was chopped off Matthew 14:10. I am sure girlfriend was Roman Beetch.
This brings me to my point...Was the Late Roman Empire Really Christian? Nope...cuz they chopped good Christian guys' heads off...like poor ol' John. Good thing John Taylor doesn't preach the gospel at dinner tables like John the Baptist. I would be upset to see his metrosexual head sliced off. Hopefully he won't go to Iraq either and get butchered.
Yes, I am sick...but my point is the Romans killed Christians. Like me! I would have been used for lion food...shudder.
True Christians are ones that take the bible literally but bible inerrancy is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop the subject..so I WON'T GO THERE.
[eta: I itch to open this dead horse since I am always RIGHT] [ 26. December 2004, 16:10: Message edited by: duchess ]
-------------------- ♬♭ We're setting sail to the place on the map from which nobody has ever returned ♫♪♮ Ship of Fools-World Party
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Sine Nomine*
 Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
I have to take issue with your last post about Christianity being firmly established in the Byzantine Empire, Father Gregory. I took an introductory course in college on Byzantine history and culture and did a fair amount of research on the subject, so although certainly not an expert I do know a little bit about it.
One of the more interesting characters in this context is Michael Psellus the younger, on whom I wrote a term paper. I think he is typical of the late Roman/Byzantine mind. You have to realize that by his time (the 11th century) the Western Empire and Rome were lost. Only the Eastern Empire and Constantinople remained, and it was under enormous pressure. Although it was officially still the "Roman" empire, its thought and its culture were essentially Greek. I mention Psellus in particular since although he was actually a monk, his devotion to Neo-Platonism made his orthodoxy suspect to the church fathers. As I found during my research, he was largely responsible for a resurgence of Neo-Platonism. Indeed his advocacy of Platonic philosophy as ideally integrable with Christian doctrine initiated a renewal of Byzantine classical learning that later influenced the Italian Renaissance.
Essentially Neo-Platonism can be defined as:
· 1. Hierarchy of spheres of being, ending with ordinary reality (being in space-time). · 2. The series is a causal chain. · 3. Series begins with a principle which is the source of all being. · 4. The supreme principle, the One, is beyond being, is unique, and utterly simple. · 5. Each successive sphere is more complex, and more deterministic. · 6. The knowledge of the One is above predicative knowledge.
I think one can easily see how a devotion to Neo-Platonism is difficult to reconcile with true orthodoxy. So was Psellus "really Christian"? Perhaps not in the strictest sense. But I admire him as something of a rebel against the strict and unyielding hierarchy of the Orthodox Church of his time. Although since he pre-dated the Council of Florence, "Orthodoxy" as such didn’t yet exist. Unfortunately the seeds were already being planted for the somewhat closed-minded and exclusive attitude we see today in the Orthodox denomination, as exemplified in their almost hysterical claims to be the "one, true church" and their closed table fellowship, determined to put themselves "inside" and nearly everybody else "outside". But that’s certainly a dead horse, and I’m not going to go there.
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Chorister
 Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
The Christian influence of the Emperor Constantine has lived on in the story of his namesake in Cornwall (a part of the world with which I am very familiar): St. Petroc gave shelter to a fawn which was being pursued by Prince Constantine and cast a spell on him so he could not move. The spell was only broken when the Prince agreed to become a Christian. The prince was sent to Constantine Bay and became a hermit - the ruins of the little church of St. Constantine and the holy well can still be visited at Constantine Bay - I'd recommend it as a holiday destination.
Of course, forcing someone to become a Christian by means of a spell involves witchcraft and sorcery, which, as the bible expressly states in Revelation 21:8 will condemn the perpetrators to death in the lake that burns with sulphurous flames. Poor St. Petroc and (by consequent invalidation of his conversion) poor St. Constantine! That is assuming, of course, that you believe every word in the bible is to be taken literally – but Biblical Inerrancy is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop the subject.
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
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Left at the Altar
 Ship's Siren
# 5077
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Posted
Saying that Rome under Constantine was Christian is kind of like saying the Australian Labor Party is "The New Right". 5 - 10% of it might be, but the rest hangs on to the old commie ways.
You know, the 1950s for the Labor Party was pretty drastic. Ended with the Catholics packing their bags and forming their own party and Labor spending years in the wilderness.
And then along comes a man with vision. Gough Whitlam. He's the Constantine of the Labor Party. He's seen the light and he wants it to be spread far and wide. It's Time.
He wants to change the order in the Labor Party and society and make principles of equality and fairness standard for all. He's got his men to bring the good word and make that change. Lionel Murphy, Jim Cairns and their ilk. These are the True Believers and they've seen the light and there's changes in the law and society, all overseen by Gough.
But it doesn't happen straight away. After the initial surge to adopt the great leader's "religion", it all goes pear-shaped.
The internal bickering within the party leads to schisms and factions that are truly comparable with the early church. You end up with this group calling itself "Labor" but so much at war with each other that its hard to tell that they all share a common vision. The rift that developed in 325 reminds me of a Labor Caucus meeting. All bickering away and threatening to take their bats and balls and go home.
Basically, they are all Lefties, trying to reinvent themselves to win popularity.
Most recently, there's this gay marriage debate. But even in the Labor Party, the issue of Gay Marriage is a dead Horse, and I'm definitely not going there.
-------------------- Still pretty Amazing, but no longer Mavis.
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
That's an interesting thought, GutAche. Welcome to the Ship!
However I think if you're going to compare evangelising Ancient Rome to bringing the message of Christ to 21st century Britain, you are on potentially dodgy ground.
For a start, I disagree with your theory that people were encouraged to vomit as a sign of their spiritual insight in the midst of an evening's carousing. In fact, I'm not too sure people were encouraged to vomit at all... Popular Fallacy )
I also think it is stretching too many points to look to the Romans for signs of spiritual awakening in a Christian context (though others may disagree). It is generally held that the Empire went through a period of extreme societal degeneration before coming to its end. I think that far from being a pointer to the power of the Gospel to change our lives, it is perhaps more an indication of the danger we are currently in of total cultural breakdown.
It is easy to look back and jeer at Emperors holding elaborate funerals for dead horses, the stereotype of people binge-eating and vomiting all evening and gratuitous sex on every street corner. I wonder if there isn't an element of projection here, of us desperately seeking our image in the past, to reassure us that we are not alone in our pursuit of hedonism?
I can't think of any period in history where the world was so divided into rich and poor, fat and thin. We wring our hands helplessly as we see our children exerting less and less physical energy, and becoming fatter and fatter. People smile indulgently as 'celebrities' fat enough to be slaughtered and feed a small African village try desperately to lose five pounds for the cameras in some awful reality TV show. We allow multi-national companies to poison us, stuffing us with additives ("NOW WITH SALAD!!") which in all probability are pre-disposing children to hyperactivity, as well as making them all clones of that disgusting child in the Double-Deckers... Aaaaaaaaaargh!!
So I think to say that present-day Britain echoes the Late Roman Empire is to over-simplify the truth about what the LRE was like, and to under-estimate the scale of our dependency on America. As far as I know, there were no fast food chains from the Unknown West in late Rome.
But 'soon we'll all be as fat as Americans' is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop the subject.
-------------------- "I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
*bump*
Still awaiting entries from kiwigoldfish, Mad Geo, and Rossweisse.
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
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Rossweisse
 High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
Sorry, Belisarius -- I have family in for a visit, and my time is not my own. I'll try to get mine done as soon as possible.
-------------------- I'm not dead yet.
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Rossweisse
 High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
"Was the Late Roman Empire Really Christian?"
In his brilliant, ground-breaking book The Rise of Christianity: How the Obscure, Marginal Jesus Movement Became the Dominant Religious Force in the Western World in a Few Centuries, sociologist Rodney Stark makes a strong case that it was -- or was getting there, in numeric terms.
Stark demonstrates that Christianity grew at a rate of 40 percent per decade: from about 1,000 Christians in the year 40, to nearly 34 million in the year 350 -- or from 0.0017% of the population to 56.5%. While this rate of growth seems incredible, he points out that Mormonism has been doing the same thing in recent decades, growing exponentially by tapping networks of relatives and friends.
Of course, we don't know the extent to which the late Roman Empire really became culturally Christian. Although most of the early converts appear (according to Stark) to have come from the ranks of the Hellenized Jews of the Diaspora, once Christianity became official, it changed significantly in some ways. That's what brought about the monastic movement, and the waves of hermits moving into the desert. They wanted to escape the grandious New! Approved! Christianity.
Post-Constantine Christianity also seems to have downgraded the role of women in the Church, which was clearly much more prominent early on, to judge by both the Bible (paging Phoebe and Junia!) and secular sources.
But the ordination of women is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop it.
-------------------- I'm not dead yet.
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
That was quick. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Rossweisse
 High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
I finally just locked the door for five minutes and DID it.
And someone's knocking now, right on cue...
![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
-------------------- I'm not dead yet.
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Mad Geo
 Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
Honorable Chihuahua,
Whether the late Roman Empire really was Christian is certainly up for debate. However, your allusion to America being “equivalent to the Roman Empire” is, at minimum, a logical fallacy.
I am a believer that history repeats itself too, but to assume that because we have some “hedonism”, some “wars that appear to be empire-building”, and a president with an “overdeveloped hard-on ( ) for Christianizing America”, that doesn’t necessarily follow that we are going to “collapse like the Roman Empire”. Slippery slope arguments are fine, if you’re Rush Limbaugh or Michael Moore (pick a butthead), but you’re not. So please show me how A plus B plus C equals “collapses like the Roman Empire”.
I don’t like what the president has done much more than you apparently do, but America (and Europe for that matter) has been through a lot of this before. And we probably will not descend into city-states any time soon.
As for your references to America and Iraq War II causing Mexico to invade America, well that’s just preposterous and I would love to dismantle that argument.
But “Let’s Invade America” is a Dead Horse, so I'll drop the subject
-------------------- Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
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Goldfish Stew
Shipmate
# 5512
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Posted
[apologies to Bel, the judges and the fans for the lateness of this entry. I've been away for Christmas.]
quote: Originally posted by Christmas Pumpkin: quote: Originally posted by Yuletide Log: Perhaps we could get Dr Who to go back and see how christian the Roman Empire was.
He already went there. It wasn't exactly Christian, just full of bad actors in poor costumes.
I'm afraid not, old bean. Certainly he went to Rome in 64 AD, but that's scarcely the time frame that we're talking about on this thread.
Of course, you may be talking about one of the novels written after the series was cancelled (the New Adventures series.) But they are not canonical and should not be accepted as literal truth. That status is reserved for the TV series (and perhaps the official BBC series of books.) However, the question of accepting the canon as literally true is a dead horse, and I'm not going to go there. ![[Biased]](wink.gif)
-------------------- .
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Duo Seraphim*
Sea lawyer
# 3251
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Posted
So far, the similarity of the entries to the real Purgatory is well, frightening really. All we need are ... no, better not. I might be accused of coaching the contestants and we can't have that.
-------------------- 2^8, eight bits to a byte
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
How strict was the rule about the exact wording of the last line? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
-------------------- "I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
The Judges have been notified that all of this round's entries are now submitted.
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
Posts: 8080 | From: New York | Registered: May 2001
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Rossweisse
 High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
This thread had disappeared, from the point of view of those of us who keep only a five-day supply of posts visible.
Rossweisse // bumping it (but not grinding it)
-------------------- I'm not dead yet.
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Rossweisse:
Rossweisse // bumping it (but not grinding it)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
-------------------- "I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
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Belisarius
Lord Bountiful of Admin (Emeritus) Delights
# 32
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Posted
Sorry for the delay; I hope to get all the judgments soon.
-------------------- Animals may be Evolution's Icing, but Bacteria are the Cake. Andrew Knoll
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Mad Geo
 Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
It was worth the delay just for this:
quote: Originally posted by Rossweisse: Rossweisse // bumping it (but not grinding it)
![[Killing me]](graemlins/killingme.gif)
-------------------- Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
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Rossweisse
 High Church Valkyrie
# 2349
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Mad Geo: It was worth the delay just for this:
quote: Originally posted by Rossweisse: Rossweisse // bumping it (but not grinding it)
Sorry -- I've been pulling 18-hour days all week, and I'm a little punchy just now.
-------------------- I'm not dead yet.
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Sine Nomine*
 Ship's backstabbing bastard
# 3631
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Belisarius: Sorry for the delay; I hope to get all the judgments soon.
I understand Grits is the hold up. I haven't been able to scrape up all the cash she's demanded.
Sarky was easier with just a wire transfer.
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Grits
Compassionate fundamentalist
# 4169
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Posted
Actually, it's that rat, Stoo. Now that he has all the excess baggage (aka Jenny Ann) at his place, his payola limit has gone sky-high.
-------------------- Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and shut it when I've said enough. Amen.
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Chorister
 Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
Sheesh, now even the judges are fighting amongst themselves! Is there no hope for a fair contest? Still, I suppose there has to be some use for all those leftover, stale mince pies.....
SARKYCOW: one direct hit, two splats and one miss. SCORE - 3
STOO: three direct hits, one splat and three misses. SCORE - 4
GRITS: two direct hits, three splats and two misses. SCORE - 5
Belisarius would have been along shortly to declare Grits the winner, but unfortunately he got caught in the eye with a hot mince pie and will be out of action for the forseeable future ![[Waterworks]](graemlins/bawling.gif)
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
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Jen.
 Godless Liberal
# 3131
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Grits: Actually, it's that rat, Stoo. Now that he has all the excess baggage (aka Jenny Ann) at his place, his payola limit has gone sky-high.
oi! less of the 'excess' please.
J
Posts: 5318 | From: Manchester, England | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sarkycow
La belle Dame sans merci
# 1012
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Jenny Ann: quote: Originally posted by Grits: Actually, it's that rat, Stoo. Now that he has all the excess baggage (aka Jenny Ann) at his place, his payola limit has gone sky-high.
oi! less of the 'excess' please.
J
No, Grits has it right - I've seen how much luggage you pack for a weekend away! Excess baggage and then some....
Still, it was nice of you to allow Stoo to pack two t-shirts, two pairs of socks, and two pairs of underpants in your bag. Otherwise the poor boy would have been wearing the same clothes all weekend!
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
-------------------- “Just because your voice reaches halfway around the world doesn't mean you are wiser than when it reached only to the end of the bar.”
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dolphy
 Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Belisarius: We regret to announce that Dolphy lost this round.
Great. The computer dies. The hard drive is eaten and destroyed. Two weeks later she has a new computer up and running. Logs onto the Ship to find the icing on the cake, or should that be the icing on the computer virus?... I lost the round
Ah well, better luck next time.
Good luck to all who remain, I certainly know where my votes lie!
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
I voted for you, Sweetie!
-------------------- "I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
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dolphy
 Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Bless you honey.
Ah well, at least I tried .
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
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Chorister
 Completely Frocked
# 473
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Posted
I voted for you too. Hmmmmm, I smell a conspiracy...... ![[Paranoid]](graemlins/paranoid.gif)
-------------------- Retired, sitting back and watching others for a change.
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RuthW
 liberal "peace first" hankie squeezer
# 13
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Posted
When wymmin stick together, it's not a conspiracy - it's cooperation.
Posts: 24453 | From: La La Land | Registered: Apr 2001
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Mad Geo
 Ship's navel gazer
# 2939
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Posted
I thought if Wymmin really wanted to stick together they would move to the Isle of Lesbos......
P.S. This joke was approved by my feminist girlfriend. Sue me. Oh yes and Bump from Page 2.
-------------------- Diax's Rake - "Never believe a thing simply because you want it to be true"
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Goldfish Stew
Shipmate
# 5512
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Posted
Although not a wymmmmeon*, I too wish to express my utter astonishment and disbelief that Vikki survived the last elimination poll.
*or however it's being spelt today
-------------------- .
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Vikki Pollard
Shipmate
# 5548
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Posted
Ha!
You're just jealous of my breasts. (I'm not posting a link, you can all just READ THE BOARDS. )
P.S. I suspect she isn't actually!!
-------------------- "I don't get all this fuss about global warming, Miss. Why doesn't the Government just knock down all the f**king greenhouses?" (One of my slightly less bright 15 year old pupils)
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