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Source: (consider it) Thread: Heaven: Ship of Fools does Eurovision
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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[OOC:
quote:
Pendragon:
Coot: Can you tell what sex I am?!

Well I thought you might be male, a bit on the festive side with the odd bet each way. But now that I think of it, I am certain I saw you once mention you were female, in spite of the handle]
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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As Terry: I could almost sing along with the Estonian entry and I like the muppet. It has a good beat and I can dance to it. I give it a 61.

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
welsh dragon

Shipmate
# 3249

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Lots of dry ice. Heavy guitar riff. Wild dancers run on, followed by male singer dressed as the Pope, wearing a papal tiara, open neck cassock revealing a hunky hairy chest, and a gold medallion of the Immaculate Conception. He sings, to the tune of PUPPET ON A STRING

POPE: I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care
Will you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like that popelet on a string


Pah pah pah pah pah pah pahpah pah pah pah tiddle-iddle-um

The backing singers come on. There are 2 of them and they are dressed as cardinals, though with similarly open neck cassocks and medallions, this time of the sacred heart. Wogan comments in a rather baffled way that the Ukraine boasts the only city with 2 catholic cardinals, apparently. This seems to be an occasion of national pride…

POPE: Life is just like a vale of tears
Chock full of mis(e)ry and sin
One day you might feel life is ok
Then all the guilt will begin
Is your life full of fun?
Tomorrow you might be gone…

I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like that popelet on a string

I held sway when the last pope was ill
Then they voted me in
Now folk say that I cannot be wrong
Seems I was destined to win
I’ve got lots of power over you
But where am I leading you to?

I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care
If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there
Like that popelet on a string

I’m Big Boss at the Vatican now
Things get run in my style
But people would rather have John Paul two
Cos they don’t care for my smile!
Will they love me that amount?
Ah well…what they think doesn’t count …


Enter female singer, dressed in leather bra with little gold tassles, leather gladiator-style mini skirt and thigh high boots.

FEMALE SINGER: Some…people say you’re gloomy

POPE: Who? Me?

FEMALE SINGER: and square
That your policies are sadly
Quite badly
Impaired
Just like that popelet on a string….


The stage is flooded with inflated condoms used as balloons…and female singer’s leather skirt falls off to reveal a gold G string with a strategically placed piccie of JP II hanging from it (with a little holy water stoop).

FEMALE SINGER: Just like that popelet on a..... string

Crescendo of heavy rock ooompah finale

LOTS of dry ice…

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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[Killing me] [Overused] [Killing me]

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Pendragon

Ship's swordbearer
# 8759

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quote:
Originally posted by dolphy:
[Killing me] [Overused] [Killing me]

I can't say any better

--------------------
Not a particuarly GLE

Everything will be OK in the end; if it's not OK it's not the end.
(seen on a fridgemagnet)

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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As Terry: Yes and the two Ukrainian cardinals liked the music, although theire vision and hearing is a wee bit impaired. They thought it might be blasphemous, but were not quite sure, as they did not record it for later analysis. Oh, and Welsh dear, dry ice is not used in that sort of enviironment anymore: any reputable theatrical supply house would be happy to rent you a fogger or fog machine for your next performance. I give it a 71. It has a good beat and I can dance to it.

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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Th UK entry is almost ready as soon as Christie 'n' Faith have got their act together.

There is some some debate as to how many dancers they can have on stage - what with assorted men dressed as commandos and firemen cluttering up their dressing room [Biased]

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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

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Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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The UK entry “Christie ‘n’ Faith” take to a darkened stage. They are both wearing black full length robes in a cassock style and are holding rosaries in their hands.

The first verse is sung acappella. It is slow are stately – rather like a processional hymn.



We’re gonna say our prayers, and then we’re gonna to praise the Lord
Because we believe that in God’s love we’re pure
And free from satan’s lure
But there is more to a child of God
Than being Holy.



The lights come on and the tempo speeds up – sounding not unlike a previous Eurovision winning entry.


We’re gonna hit the town, we’re going down the pub
We’re gonna to show that there’s more to Christian life
Than just a holy club
We’re gonna chat up all the guys
And still be holy.


Don't let your first impressions think of us as fools
Free you inhibitions, we have come out on the pull.


Disco lights shine on the stage and two hunky men wearing army fatigues dance on stage and join Christie ‘n’ Faith centre stage. The two singers grab hold of a man each and begin to swing.

So now we turn the volume up
And throw ourselves into their arms
There’s no escape from our loving ‘cos we’re frustrated
We’ll keep you up all night
And you will see that there’s more to us.
Than being holy.


Two more guys dressed as firemen come onto the stage and dance up to Christie ‘n’ Faith, pushing the commandos out of the way (they continue dancing in the background.)

So you can see we don’t care less
In fact we don’t give a damn
We’re both out for a good night out
And you’re the men we’re looking for
And when we’ve worn you out tonight
We won’t be holy


Both the firemen and the commandos grab hold of the girls and their robes are pulled off revealing that the girls are wearing red leather mini skirts, black corsets, stiletto boots and fishnet tights.

The song continues:


Don't let your first impressions think of us as fools
Free you inhibitions, we have come out on the pull.

So come on if you’re man enough, and big enough to take us on
Cos we’re in need of a good night out
And we both want to play around
As you can see there is more to us.
Than being holy.

So come on if you’re man enough, and big enough to take us on
Cos we’re in need of a good night out
And we both want to play around
As you can see there is more to us.
Than being holy.

Than being holy.
Than being holy.
Than being holy.



The music stops and both girls fall into the arms of the big strong hunks either side of them whilst the commandos hold their weapons on high!

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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

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Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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[Killing me] [Overused] Nanny!
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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[Yipee] Nanny!
As Terry:
I give it a 71. It has a good beat and you can dance to it. A tie with the Ukranians...

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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So is that all the entries?

Of course we all know that Terry's scores don't mean anything, do they? And as impartial voters, we will not be swayed by them, nor by the geographical proximity of the countries we vote for, nor whether they went to war with us in the past or not. We will all vote completely fairly and impartially on the song itself.

(But Coot would do well to check out the fine and honourable tradition of Greece and Turkey giving each other the maximum 12 points every year.)

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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I thought that was Greece and Cyprus with Greece and Turkey giving one another 'nul point'.

There wouldn't be some discreet lobbying going on would there? [Biased]

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734

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Ok. Thank you Terry for you imput. I'm sure that your scoring will be big help for the voters.
If we could voter from now and over the weekend we could present the prize on Monday.
Could someone who has better access to the web than me, I only have it at work, keep score please. It might be fun to vote in English and French.
Does anyone feel like doing the entertainment that traditionanlly goes here?

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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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Duh - yeah, you're right. I meant Cyprus. Hence the desperation of the Turkish entry.

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734

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Ok remember the singualarly strange Eurovision scoring system.
Your lowest score is of course Nil Points.
Those you wish to give a mark to are scored as follows.
In single marks from 1 to 8. Then 10 and finally 12. I do not know why they score like that but they do. [Roll Eyes]

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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.

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Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, damen und herren, bonsoir et le voila les resultats du jury D'Autriche:

France - 1 point

L'Estonie - 2 points

Le Grece - 3 points

Icelande - 4 points

L'Irelande - 5 points

L'Allemagne - 6 points

L'Italie - 7 points

Le Royame-Uni (UK) - 8 points

Ukraine - 10 points

Turkey - 12 points

That concludes the voting of the Austrian jury. [Big Grin]

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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

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Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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(BTW what happened to Malta, Andorra and Russia?)

Good evening, and here are the results of the Turkish jury:

Italy - 1 point
Iceland - 2 points
Estonia - 3 points
Austria - 4 points
Ukraine - 5 points
Germany - 6 points
Ireland - 7 points
France - 8 points
UK - 10 points
Greece - 12 points

Goodnight to all our friends, particularly the Greek ones who we love so much, and who we hope will break with the shackles of tradition and resist giving 12 points to Cyprus this year.

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Guten Abend, here are the results of the German jury.

UK - 1 point
France - 2 points
Estonia - 3 points
Ireland - 4 points
Italy - 5 points
Ukraine - 6 points
Turkey - 7 points
Greece - 8 points
Iceland - 10 points
Austria - 12 points

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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And the scores so far:

Estonia - 8
France - 11
Germany - 12
Italy - 13
Ireland - 14
Iceland - 16
Austria - 16
UK - 19
Turkey - 19
Greece - 23

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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Good evening, here are the results from the Irish Jury:

Iceland 1 point
Germany 2 points
Greece 3 points
Estonia 4 points
Turkey 5 points
Austria 6 points
France 7 points
Ukraine 8 points
Italy 10 points

and 12 points goes to the United Kingdom.

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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Austria - 1
Iceland - 2
Greece - 3
UK - 4
Turkey - 5
Italy - 6
Ukraine - 7
France - 8
Germany - 10
Ireland - 12


I appear to be succeeding in my ambition to finish last again [Big Grin]

[ 06. May 2005, 11:29: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]

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Hail Gallaxhar

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Current Scores:

Estonia - 12
Iceland - 19
Austria - 23
Germany - 24
Ireland - 26
France - 26
Greece - 29
Italy 29
Turkey - 29
UK - 35

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Current Scores:
...UK - 35

As Terry: Glad I was able to be of some influence.

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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here are the votes from the UK Jury ahveing just come back from the pub:

Greece 1
Iceland 2
Italy 3
France 4
Turkey 5
Austria 6
Estonia 7
Ukraine 8
Ireland 10
Germany 12


And that concludes the voting from the pissed Uk jury

--------------------
Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Current Scores:

Estonia - 12
Iceland - 19
Austria - 23
Germany - 24
Ireland - 26
France - 26
Greece - 29
Italy 29
Turkey - 29
UK - 35

I think you've missed the Ukraine scores [Eek!]

--------------------
Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

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Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Current scores (including Ukraine this time!).

Estonia - 19
Iceland - 21
Austria - 29
France - 30
Greece - 30
Italy - 32
Turkey - 34
UK - 35
Germany - 36
Ireland - 36
Ukraine - 44

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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[Cof cof, will someone help the ESC virgin again, how does the point scoring work? 1 mark of 0-12 to each country with no repeat marks? Marks 9 and 11 have been missing]
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dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by Hugal:
Ok remember the singualarly strange Eurovision scoring system.
Your lowest score is of course Nil Points.
Those you wish to give a mark to are scored as follows.
In single marks from 1 to 8. Then 10 and finally 12. I do not know why they score like that but they do. [Roll Eyes]

There you go Coot [Biased]

[ 07. May 2005, 12:10: Message edited by: dolphy ]

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

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Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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For your interval 'entertainment' and for those of you who are outside the Eurozone and who don't know what on earth we're going on about...

[/URL=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/progs/listenagain.shtml#e]Eurovision: The Politics of Pop[/URL] Click on E and then scroll down to the programme.

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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Miffy

Ship's elephant
# 1438

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Eurovision: The Politics of Pop

Sorry! Wretched dog asked to be let out at the vital moment.

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"I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue")
Growing Greenpatches

Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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Using 'standalone Realplayer' I actually got it to play!

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Pendragon

Ship's swordbearer
# 8759

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Turkey: 1
France: 2
Ukraine: 3
Iceland: 4
Greece: 5
Germany: 6
Austria: 7
Estonia: 8
Ireland: 10
UK: 12
That concludes the Italian votes.

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Not a particuarly GLE

Everything will be OK in the end; if it's not OK it's not the end.
(seen on a fridgemagnet)

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Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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OK - who's left?

I wonder whether this would be refelctive of any results on the 21st?

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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

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Ian Climacus

Liturgical Slattern
# 944

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Ze Scores from Iceland:
[since we have no Scandinavian friends, we'll have to look to our next-nearest-neighbours... [Biased] ]

Italy - 1 point
Greece - 2 points
Ukraine - 3 points
Estonia - 4 points
UK - 5 points
Turkey - 6 points
France - 7 points
Austria - 8 points
Germany - 10 points
Ireland - 12 points

[ 09. May 2005, 07:00: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]

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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734

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Ok here are the results of the French Televote.
Ukrain - 1 point
Germany - 2 points
Greece - 3 points
Austria - 4-points
Estonia - 5 points
Italy - 6 points
Iceland - 7 points
Ireland - 8- points
Turkey -10 - points
Uk -12- points
That concludes the voting for the French televote.

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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.

Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734

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Is that everybody. If so we can work out the final scores. We need some one to present the trophy, it should be Terry I think.

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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.

Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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As Terry: I'm a wee bit busy presenting my program just now, but when the tabulations are finished, I shall be happy to hand out the trophies!

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Current scores:

Iceland - 32
Estonia - 36
France - 39
Italy - 39
Greece - 40
Austria - 48
Turkey - 49
Ukraine - 51
Germany - 54
UK - 64
Ireland - 68

Greece and the Ukraine have still to vote. Athens, Kiev - where are you?

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

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Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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Estonia hereby officially concedes [Biased]

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Hail Gallaxhar

Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
John Donne

Renaissance Man
# 220

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[Sorry a bit overwhelmed at the mo - will respond soon]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
dolphy

Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862

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quote:
Originally posted by Hugal:
We need someone to present the trophy, it should be Terry I think.

That could be an interesting moment if Ireland wins! [Two face] [Snigger] [Biased]

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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.

Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734

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Are we ready for the presentation yet?????

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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.

Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Not until Greece and Ukraine have voted!

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
Not until Greece and Ukraine have voted!

Someone wake them up - contest wasn't that bad was it?

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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
welsh dragon

Shipmate
# 3249

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Ireland - 1
UK - 2
Germany - 3
Turkey - 4
Austria - 5
Greece - 6
Italy - 7
France - 8
Estonia - 10
Iceland - 12

And this concludes the results from the Ukrainian jury...

Posts: 5352 | From: ebay | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Marvin the Martian

Interplanetary
# 4360

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quote:
Originally posted by welsh dragon:
Estonia - 10

Noooooooo!!!

All my hard work gone to pot. How shall I finish last now? [Biased]

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Hail Gallaxhar

Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492

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As Terry: [Snore] HUH! I had the UK and Ukraine tied. What happened?

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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.

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Nanny Ogg

Ship's cushion
# 1176

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quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kevin:
As Terry: [Snore] HUH! I had the UK and Ukraine tied. What happened?

Tactical voting [Biased]

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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever

Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged
Callan
Shipmate
# 525

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Current scores after the, er, interesting Ukrainian vote: [Biased]

Iceland - 44
Estonia - 46
Italy - 46
Greece - 46
France - 47
Ukraine - 51
Austria - 53
Turkey - 53
Germany - 57
UK - 66
Ireland - 69

We await the verdict of the Greek jury. Calling Athens, Calling Athens...

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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton

Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Gill H

Shipmate
# 68

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I suspect the Athens jury are still trying to escape from Haza Rakh's very special kind of 'persuasion' over the voting.

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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.

- Lyda Rose

Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged



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