Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Ship of Fools does Eurovision
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
[OOC: quote: Pendragon: Coot: Can you tell what sex I am?!
Well I thought you might be male, a bit on the festive side with the odd bet each way. But now that I think of it, I am certain I saw you once mention you were female, in spite of the handle]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As Terry: I could almost sing along with the Estonian entry and I like the muppet. It has a good beat and I can dance to it. I give it a 61.
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
Lots of dry ice. Heavy guitar riff. Wild dancers run on, followed by male singer dressed as the Pope, wearing a papal tiara, open neck cassock revealing a hunky hairy chest, and a gold medallion of the Immaculate Conception. He sings, to the tune of PUPPET ON A STRING
POPE: I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care Will you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there Like that popelet on a string
Pah pah pah pah pah pah pahpah pah pah pah tiddle-iddle-um
The backing singers come on. There are 2 of them and they are dressed as cardinals, though with similarly open neck cassocks and medallions, this time of the sacred heart. Wogan comments in a rather baffled way that the Ukraine boasts the only city with 2 catholic cardinals, apparently. This seems to be an occasion of national pride…
POPE: Life is just like a vale of tears Chock full of mis(e)ry and sin One day you might feel life is ok Then all the guilt will begin Is your life full of fun? Tomorrow you might be gone…
I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there Like that popelet on a string
I held sway when the last pope was ill Then they voted me in Now folk say that I cannot be wrong Seems I was destined to win I’ve got lots of power over you But where am I leading you to?
I wonder if one day that, you'll say that, you care If you say you love me madly, I'll gladly be there Like that popelet on a string
I’m Big Boss at the Vatican now Things get run in my style But people would rather have John Paul two Cos they don’t care for my smile! Will they love me that amount? Ah well…what they think doesn’t count …
Enter female singer, dressed in leather bra with little gold tassles, leather gladiator-style mini skirt and thigh high boots.
FEMALE SINGER: Some…people say you’re gloomy
POPE: Who? Me?
FEMALE SINGER: and square That your policies are sadly Quite badly Impaired Just like that popelet on a string….
The stage is flooded with inflated condoms used as balloons…and female singer’s leather skirt falls off to reveal a gold G string with a strategically placed piccie of JP II hanging from it (with a little holy water stoop).
FEMALE SINGER: Just like that popelet on a..... string
Crescendo of heavy rock ooompah finale
LOTS of dry ice…
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Pendragon
Ship's swordbearer
# 8759
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by dolphy:
I can't say any better
-------------------- Not a particuarly GLE
Everything will be OK in the end; if it's not OK it's not the end. (seen on a fridgemagnet)
Posts: 392 | From: Coventry | Registered: Nov 2004
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As Terry: Yes and the two Ukrainian cardinals liked the music, although theire vision and hearing is a wee bit impaired. They thought it might be blasphemous, but were not quite sure, as they did not record it for later analysis. Oh, and Welsh dear, dry ice is not used in that sort of enviironment anymore: any reputable theatrical supply house would be happy to rent you a fogger or fog machine for your next performance. I give it a 71. It has a good beat and I can dance to it.
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
Th UK entry is almost ready as soon as Christie 'n' Faith have got their act together.
There is some some debate as to how many dancers they can have on stage - what with assorted men dressed as commandos and firemen cluttering up their dressing room
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
The UK entry “Christie ‘n’ Faith” take to a darkened stage. They are both wearing black full length robes in a cassock style and are holding rosaries in their hands.
The first verse is sung acappella. It is slow are stately – rather like a processional hymn.
We’re gonna say our prayers, and then we’re gonna to praise the Lord Because we believe that in God’s love we’re pure And free from satan’s lure But there is more to a child of God Than being Holy.
The lights come on and the tempo speeds up – sounding not unlike a previous Eurovision winning entry.
We’re gonna hit the town, we’re going down the pub We’re gonna to show that there’s more to Christian life Than just a holy club We’re gonna chat up all the guys And still be holy.
Don't let your first impressions think of us as fools Free you inhibitions, we have come out on the pull.
Disco lights shine on the stage and two hunky men wearing army fatigues dance on stage and join Christie ‘n’ Faith centre stage. The two singers grab hold of a man each and begin to swing.
So now we turn the volume up And throw ourselves into their arms There’s no escape from our loving ‘cos we’re frustrated We’ll keep you up all night And you will see that there’s more to us. Than being holy.
Two more guys dressed as firemen come onto the stage and dance up to Christie ‘n’ Faith, pushing the commandos out of the way (they continue dancing in the background.)
So you can see we don’t care less In fact we don’t give a damn We’re both out for a good night out And you’re the men we’re looking for And when we’ve worn you out tonight We won’t be holy
Both the firemen and the commandos grab hold of the girls and their robes are pulled off revealing that the girls are wearing red leather mini skirts, black corsets, stiletto boots and fishnet tights.
The song continues:
Don't let your first impressions think of us as fools Free you inhibitions, we have come out on the pull.
So come on if you’re man enough, and big enough to take us on Cos we’re in need of a good night out And we both want to play around As you can see there is more to us. Than being holy.
So come on if you’re man enough, and big enough to take us on Cos we’re in need of a good night out And we both want to play around As you can see there is more to us. Than being holy.
Than being holy. Than being holy. Than being holy.
The music stops and both girls fall into the arms of the big strong hunks either side of them whilst the commandos hold their weapons on high!
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Nanny!
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Nanny! As Terry: I give it a 71. It has a good beat and you can dance to it. A tie with the Ukranians...
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
So is that all the entries?
Of course we all know that Terry's scores don't mean anything, do they? And as impartial voters, we will not be swayed by them, nor by the geographical proximity of the countries we vote for, nor whether they went to war with us in the past or not. We will all vote completely fairly and impartially on the song itself.
(But Coot would do well to check out the fine and honourable tradition of Greece and Turkey giving each other the maximum 12 points every year.)
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
I thought that was Greece and Cyprus with Greece and Turkey giving one another 'nul point'.
There wouldn't be some discreet lobbying going on would there?
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Ok. Thank you Terry for you imput. I'm sure that your scoring will be big help for the voters. If we could voter from now and over the weekend we could present the prize on Monday. Could someone who has better access to the web than me, I only have it at work, keep score please. It might be fun to vote in English and French. Does anyone feel like doing the entertainment that traditionanlly goes here?
-------------------- I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Duh - yeah, you're right. I meant Cyprus. Hence the desperation of the Turkish entry.
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Ok remember the singualarly strange Eurovision scoring system. Your lowest score is of course Nil Points. Those you wish to give a mark to are scored as follows. In single marks from 1 to 8. Then 10 and finally 12. I do not know why they score like that but they do.
-------------------- I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames et messieurs, damen und herren, bonsoir et le voila les resultats du jury D'Autriche:
France - 1 point
L'Estonie - 2 points
Le Grece - 3 points
Icelande - 4 points
L'Irelande - 5 points
L'Allemagne - 6 points
L'Italie - 7 points
Le Royame-Uni (UK) - 8 points
Ukraine - 10 points
Turkey - 12 points
That concludes the voting of the Austrian jury.
-------------------- "I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue") Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
(BTW what happened to Malta, Andorra and Russia?)
Good evening, and here are the results of the Turkish jury:
Italy - 1 point Iceland - 2 points Estonia - 3 points Austria - 4 points Ukraine - 5 points Germany - 6 points Ireland - 7 points France - 8 points UK - 10 points Greece - 12 points
Goodnight to all our friends, particularly the Greek ones who we love so much, and who we hope will break with the shackles of tradition and resist giving 12 points to Cyprus this year.
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Guten Abend, here are the results of the German jury.
UK - 1 point France - 2 points Estonia - 3 points Ireland - 4 points Italy - 5 points Ukraine - 6 points Turkey - 7 points Greece - 8 points Iceland - 10 points Austria - 12 points
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
And the scores so far:
Estonia - 8 France - 11 Germany - 12 Italy - 13 Ireland - 14 Iceland - 16 Austria - 16 UK - 19 Turkey - 19 Greece - 23
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
Good evening, here are the results from the Irish Jury:
Iceland 1 point Germany 2 points Greece 3 points Estonia 4 points Turkey 5 points Austria 6 points France 7 points Ukraine 8 points Italy 10 points
and 12 points goes to the United Kingdom.
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Austria - 1 Iceland - 2 Greece - 3 UK - 4 Turkey - 5 Italy - 6 Ukraine - 7 France - 8 Germany - 10 Ireland - 12
I appear to be succeeding in my ambition to finish last again [ 06. May 2005, 11:29: Message edited by: Marvin the Martian ]
-------------------- Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Current Scores:
Estonia - 12 Iceland - 19 Austria - 23 Germany - 24 Ireland - 26 France - 26 Greece - 29 Italy 29 Turkey - 29 UK - 35
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Callan: Current Scores: ...UK - 35
As Terry: Glad I was able to be of some influence.
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
here are the votes from the UK Jury ahveing just come back from the pub:
Greece 1 Iceland 2 Italy 3 France 4 Turkey 5 Austria 6 Estonia 7 Ukraine 8 Ireland 10 Germany 12
And that concludes the voting from the pissed Uk jury
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Callan: Current Scores:
Estonia - 12 Iceland - 19 Austria - 23 Germany - 24 Ireland - 26 France - 26 Greece - 29 Italy 29 Turkey - 29 UK - 35
I think you've missed the Ukraine scores
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Current scores (including Ukraine this time!).
Estonia - 19 Iceland - 21 Austria - 29 France - 30 Greece - 30 Italy - 32 Turkey - 34 UK - 35 Germany - 36 Ireland - 36 Ukraine - 44
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
[Cof cof, will someone help the ESC virgin again, how does the point scoring work? 1 mark of 0-12 to each country with no repeat marks? Marks 9 and 11 have been missing]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Hugal: Ok remember the singualarly strange Eurovision scoring system. Your lowest score is of course Nil Points. Those you wish to give a mark to are scored as follows. In single marks from 1 to 8. Then 10 and finally 12. I do not know why they score like that but they do.
There you go Coot [ 07. May 2005, 12:10: Message edited by: dolphy ]
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Miffy
Ship's elephant
# 1438
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Posted
For your interval 'entertainment' and for those of you who are outside the Eurozone and who don't know what on earth we're going on about...
[/URL=http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/progs/listenagain.shtml#e]Eurovision: The Politics of Pop[/URL] Click on E and then scroll down to the programme.
-------------------- "I don't feel like smiling." "You're English dear; fake it!" (Colin Firth "Easy Virtue") Growing Greenpatches
Posts: 4739 | From: The Kitchen | Registered: Oct 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Using 'standalone Realplayer' I actually got it to play!
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Pendragon
Ship's swordbearer
# 8759
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Posted
Turkey: 1 France: 2 Ukraine: 3 Iceland: 4 Greece: 5 Germany: 6 Austria: 7 Estonia: 8 Ireland: 10 UK: 12 That concludes the Italian votes.
-------------------- Not a particuarly GLE
Everything will be OK in the end; if it's not OK it's not the end. (seen on a fridgemagnet)
Posts: 392 | From: Coventry | Registered: Nov 2004
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
OK - who's left?
I wonder whether this would be refelctive of any results on the 21st?
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Ian Climacus
Liturgical Slattern
# 944
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Posted
Ze Scores from Iceland: [since we have no Scandinavian friends, we'll have to look to our next-nearest-neighbours... ]
Italy - 1 point Greece - 2 points Ukraine - 3 points Estonia - 4 points UK - 5 points Turkey - 6 points France - 7 points Austria - 8 points Germany - 10 points Ireland - 12 points [ 09. May 2005, 07:00: Message edited by: Ian Climacus ]
Posts: 7800 | From: On the border | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Ok here are the results of the French Televote. Ukrain - 1 point Germany - 2 points Greece - 3 points Austria - 4-points Estonia - 5 points Italy - 6 points Iceland - 7 points Ireland - 8- points Turkey -10 - points Uk -12- points That concludes the voting for the French televote.
-------------------- I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Is that everybody. If so we can work out the final scores. We need some one to present the trophy, it should be Terry I think.
-------------------- I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As Terry: I'm a wee bit busy presenting my program just now, but when the tabulations are finished, I shall be happy to hand out the trophies!
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Current scores:
Iceland - 32 Estonia - 36 France - 39 Italy - 39 Greece - 40 Austria - 48 Turkey - 49 Ukraine - 51 Germany - 54 UK - 64 Ireland - 68
Greece and the Ukraine have still to vote. Athens, Kiev - where are you?
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
Estonia hereby officially concedes
-------------------- Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
[Sorry a bit overwhelmed at the mo - will respond soon]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Hugal: We need someone to present the trophy, it should be Terry I think.
That could be an interesting moment if Ireland wins!
-------------------- Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Are we ready for the presentation yet?????
-------------------- I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Not until Greece and Ukraine have voted!
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Callan: Not until Greece and Ukraine have voted!
Someone wake them up - contest wasn't that bad was it?
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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welsh dragon
Shipmate
# 3249
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Posted
Ireland - 1 UK - 2 Germany - 3 Turkey - 4 Austria - 5 Greece - 6 Italy - 7 France - 8 Estonia - 10 Iceland - 12
And this concludes the results from the Ukrainian jury...
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Marvin the Martian
Interplanetary
# 4360
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by welsh dragon: Estonia - 10
Noooooooo!!!
All my hard work gone to pot. How shall I finish last now?
-------------------- Hail Gallaxhar
Posts: 30100 | From: Adrift on a sea of surreality | Registered: Apr 2003
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As Terry: HUH! I had the UK and Ukraine tied. What happened?
-------------------- If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
quote: Originally posted by Sir Kevin: As Terry: HUH! I had the UK and Ukraine tied. What happened?
Tactical voting
-------------------- Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Current scores after the, er, interesting Ukrainian vote:
Iceland - 44 Estonia - 46 Italy - 46 Greece - 46 France - 47 Ukraine - 51 Austria - 53 Turkey - 53 Germany - 57 UK - 66 Ireland - 69
We await the verdict of the Greek jury. Calling Athens, Calling Athens...
-------------------- How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
I suspect the Athens jury are still trying to escape from Haza Rakh's very special kind of 'persuasion' over the voting.
-------------------- *sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
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