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Source: (consider it)
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Thread: Heaven: Ship of Fools does Eurovision
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
No! We are here! Sorry I have been host and board lite - and will be for the next few weeks.
[Driving home from dropping off my assignment which has consumed most of the last 24 hrs, I was listening to the Greek radio station... oh dearie dearie, I kid you not, there were a series of songs with which the Greek entry would have been right at home. Some special lines: Song 1 - "Sorry, I have found a boy that's better... I am no longer yours. Find someone else" Song 2 - "She is hard, she is cold... I will be dynamite to her body" ![[Ultra confused]](graemlins/confused2.gif)
Briefly relaxing, I was inspired to review the entries again: most made me laugh and those that didn't sounded like they really were those sort of songs ![[Eek!]](eek.gif) . I was sorry to have to give some low scores but here they are (and without checking to see if it will make a difference) ]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
There is confusion around the Greek panel. Turkey gives them 12 points! This must mean something... there has obviously been some major diplomatic breakthrough that the panel is unaware of, something of the magnitude of: Turkey about to pull out of Cyprus... The Greek panel feel obligated to give Turkey 12 points in turn.
Herete! Χαίρετε! (Waving with ouzo-fueled happiness) Be happy!
The scores from the Greek panel:
Turkey 12
Germany 10
Italy 8
Iceland 7
Ukraine 6
Austria 5
UK 4
Ireland 3
Estonia 2
France 1
Ya sas! 'γεία σας! Your health!
(Announcer is dragged off to dance, hanky in one hand, ouzo in the other)
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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John Donne
Renaissance Man
# 220
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Posted
[Oh yes, going for a triple. I have to confess, that over the last few weeks since I read the Iceland entry, the phrase: "Magma. Is what your love's like" has popped into my head at random moments. Fantastic. Really caught my imagination. I mean, we're talking hot. Like liquid rock, hot. From now on, when I think 'Ian', I will think 'Magma! Is what your love's like'.]
Posts: 13667 | From: Perth, W.A. | Registered: May 2001
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Callan
Shipmate
# 525
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Posted
Ladies and Gentlemen: The final scores [drum roll]
Greece - 46 points!
Estonia - 48 points!
France 48 points!
Iceland - 51 points!
Italy - 54 points!
Ukraine - 57 points!
Austria - 58 points!
Turkey - 65 points!
In third place - Germany - 67 points!
In second - UK 70 points!
The Ship of Fools European winner is.... [fanfare]
Ireland on 72 points!
Well done Dolphy! Well done all! Where's Terry?
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How easy it would be to live in England, if only one did not love her. - G.K. Chesterton
Posts: 9757 | From: Citizen of the World | Registered: Jun 2001
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Leetle Masha
Cantankerous Anchoress
# 8209
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Posted
<sighing deeply, listening to my lovely new Mario Frangoulis recordings....>
Leetle M.
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eleison me, tin amartolin: have mercy on me, the sinner
Posts: 6351 | From: Hesychia, in Hyperdulia | Registered: Aug 2004
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Well done everyone hope to see you all next year in er the same place it was this time. Enjoy the real thing, semi on Thursday (in UK on BBC3) and the final on Saturday (in UK BBC1)
Hugal
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I have never done this trick in these trousers before.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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dolphy
Lady of Perpetual Responsiblity
# 862
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Posted
quote:
Originally posted by Callan:
The Ship of Fools European winner is.... [fanfare]
Ireland on 72 points!
Well done Dolphy!
Togs rushes onto the stage, hastily straightening her wig and sporting her new Classic FM sweatshirt and sings her winning song to an empty auditorium. Finishes song, on hearing no spontaneous applause she looks at the rows of empty seats
Opps, ![[Hot and Hormonal]](icon_redface.gif) did I miss my cue?
Togs then gives gushing speech congratulating the losers smug in the knowledge that SHE won.
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Looking forward to my rock moving closer again.
Posts: 15134 | From: my camper van | Registered: Jul 2001
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Nanny Ogg
Ship's cushion
# 1176
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Posted
So the semi final has come, and it has gone.
Our hosts for the evening were Pasha and Masha (yes, honestly!)
The programme started with some traditional Ukrainian dancing, followed by some contemporary Ukrainian dancing. We were then treated to some Ukrainian soldiers singing and a dominatrix and her slave.
We couldn't have made that up if we tried ![[Overused]](graemlins/notworthy.gif)
Paddy O'Connell was the commentator on BBC3 and looks likely to step into the well worn shoes of Terry Wogan with his quotes - some of which I've noted for your delight and entertainment.
"The first of many pipes we'll see this evening" - he was not just referring to musical instruments.
"Look for the Grandmother with the drum and the rocking chair."
"Chilli peppers meet Saga"
"They've played together since they were two"
"From Norway - the country with the most 'nul pounts' "
"Ruby Wax and the angle grinders"
"She cacn't get enough of men in uniform"
"Nothing like a spot of naked marching"
"He could have dressed up for th night"
"I think the drummer was in a different song"
Not one nipple but two" ![[Snigger]](graemlins/snigger.gif)
It remains to be seen what the final is like on Saturday evening.
I'll be at the London meet that evening but Gill H and Hugal, in whose company I watched this evening's show, have invited me over to watch a recording on Sunday afternoon.
How will I stop myself from laughing? ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
And whatever happened to the dom & her slave - they disappeared from the set...
[ 19. May 2005, 22:22: Message edited by: The One and Only Nanny Ogg ]
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Buy me a beer and I'm you friend forever
Posts: 4137 | From: Away with the fairies | Registered: Aug 2001
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
(Copied from iGeek thread)
I'm glad the world has a chance to see Norway's Darkness-esque entry. However, they will miss out on Austria's oompah-meets-salsa song and Belarus's 'I will survive' song (3 costume changes, and men with gigantic ruffs!)
Shall we keep this thread going for comments and reactions from the real Eurovision?
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
As himself, listening to Wogan
Yes, please do!
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
Yes the semi-final was well up to the Eurovision standards we know and love. I voted for Israel because the song and the artist are both quite good.
Controvercy already. The Lebbanon have withdrawn or been banned or somthing because they wante to show adds during the Jewish entry. Makes Greece and Cyprus look a lot less political.
Can't wait till Saturday or Sunday in our case.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Comments from our party on the lucky 10 from last night:
Croatia: Chris de Burgh-style balladeer, accompanied by Ade Edmondson on kettledrums. Near the end, the drummer wandered off and did a handstand for no apparent reason.
Denmark: Slightly camp singer from the Will Young school of singing down your nose. Song included the lines 'I'm talking to you through my heart'. Our opinion was that he was actually talking through something else entirely.
FYR Macedonia: Song was called 'Make my day'. It didn't. The cameraman ensured we got several glimpses of underwear from the backing singers, and the singer attacked the kettledrums (what is it with kettledrums this year)? Lots of singalong 'lai la lai la's'.
Hungary: A female singer who couldn't sing in tune, and hoped that having one trouser leg shorter than the other would distract us from that. The backing dancers in their sparkly black outfits tried to do some Riverdance, but they were so camp it was more like 'Hello Dolly'.
Israel: one of several entries featuring a woman with long blonde hair dressed in a gold curtain. Sounded a bit like Dionne Warwick.
Latvia: two pretty boys sitting on stools with guitars singing a peace anthem. In the second verse they went for a walk, and in the last chorus they used sign language, so that the hearing impaired didn't miss out. Nice of them.
Moldova: one of the looniest entries of the night. Features a grandma in a rocking chair beating drums while a punk band plays. We called it 'ethnic thrash' . The commentator called it 'Chilli Peppers meets Saga'.
Norway: Wig Wam singing 'In My Dreams'. They were Darkness clones screaming out a rock anthem. Costumes included silver spandex and military uniform. So over the top they were half-way down the other side. Apparently their nicknames are Glam, Teeny, Sporty and Flash.
Romania: Belting female singer meets the cast of Stomp, doing wild percussion with oil drums and bits of machinery. Very clubby song called 'Let Me Try' - will probably be heard in many a Romanian club this summer. Commentator called them 'Ruby Wax and the Angle Grinders'.
Switzerland: a group called Vanilla Ninja, trying to be tough girlz and failing. The drummer dropped a stick half way through, but it didn't appear to make any difference. Some of the daftest lyrics of the night: "Cool vibes, why don't you thrill me/Cool vibes, why don't you kill me". About as tough as a bar of Milka.
And I should also mention some of the honourable losers:
Austria: A salsa singer and an oompah band. Hmmm. Yodelling hasn't traditionally been a feature of salsa music, and this song showed us why.
Belarus: The female singer wore a gold tent, which later ripped off to reveal a sparkly dress with a big bustle. Towards the end, this too was removed to show a sparkly gold catsuit. She was still upstaged by the boy dancers, who wore denim outfits with huge Adam Ant-inspired ruffs. This was gloriously camp - the song even ripped off 'I Will Survive'.
Shock of the night was Ireland not getting through. The song was pretty dull, and not even a bit more Riverdance could spice it up.
The commentary was superb - BBC3's Paddy O'Connell could be a worthy successor to Terry one day. Roll on the final!
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
Rather a contrast from our little contest here. Sorry, Dolphy! ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Gill H
Shipmate
# 68
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Posted
Here's some comments from the final:
The hosts, Mascha & Pascha, were back. Mascha (the girl) was dressed in a 70s mauve satin creation. 'Mauve and dangerous' indeed. Despite wearing a head microphone, she shouted every line. Pascha was more subdued. Terry nicknamed them Ant and Shriek.
The opening number included last year's winner Ruslana, this time dressed in a Flash Gordon-inspired silver costume and cheekily caressing a large flame-thrower which occasionally shot out flames.
Hungary kicked things off with their sparkly riverdancing, as seen in the semi.
UK: Javine's costume had plenty of bling, and she sang the heck out of the song and managed to keep her dress on this time.
Malta: Chiara was Malta's answer to Alison Moyet. The song was standard Pop Idol fodder, but she certainly has a decent set of pipes.
Romania: Ruby Wax and the Angle Grinders again.
Norway's Wig Wam deserve special mention for being so completely Spinal Tap. At the after-show party the lead singer was kissing the feet of the female host and shouting 'Hey, rock and roll revolution!' at every opportunity. Apparently they are big in Plymouth. They're also pretty big in Spandex. Be warned - they plan to tour the UK soon. You better beware, you better take care.
Turkey: a trip to the bazaar, complete with a costumed drummer who Terry described as 'Archimandrite the High Priest of the Bongo'.
Moldova: still completely crackers, with their drum-banging grandma in her rocking chair (described by Terry as 'a mobile commode'). It was like the Pogues meeting the Chilli Peppers at a ragga concert in an old folks' home. Sample lyrics: "She's flying into trance like an Indian shaman'. And I'm sure at one point he sang 'We're coming into Hammersmith'. Grandma stole the show, though.
Albania: sang 'Tomorrow I Go'. Shame it wasn't today. She sang flat when she wasn't singing sharp. Another Eastern-flavoured number with dancing violinists and the obligatory folk drummer, who wrapped them all in red ribbon at the end.
Cyprus: no, not more Eastern drums! Gary Rhodes clone singing 'come baby, come baby' while everyone thrust their hips and a white-robed woman wailed.
Spain: Three ladies in flamenco dresses singing The Ketchup Song 2. Occasionally interrupted by a man with severe throat problems.
Israel: A welcome moment of calm from the Mariah Carey lookalike.
Serbia & Montenegro: kettledrums (again) and a weird time-signature, plus some chaps on a stag night doing some folk dancing. Terry commented 'I could have sworn I heard a fiddler on the roof'.
Denmark: still talking to me through his heart - or not.
Sweden: sang 'Las Vegas' but it looked more like an ad for Pontins.
FYR Macedonia: the dreaded drums again. Three writhing girls, and two middle-aged men shuffling uncomfortably in the background.
Ukraine: The home team sang the song of the Orange Revolution, backed by dancers in handcuffs which broke at the end. Maybe you had to be there.
Germany: Terry said this was 'unashamed pandering to the raincoat brigade' as a scantily-dressed female screamed her way through something which reminded me of Four Non-Blondes' song 'What's Up', only without the tune. Afterwards Terry commented 'Has nobody here ever heard of a vest?'
Croatia: Scarborough Fair with kettledrums and bagpipes. The song was called 'Wolves Die Alone' for some reason.
Greece: more Eastern bling with a singalong chorus and some Zorba dancing. The song was called 'My Number One' and the boys lay down to form a figure 1. This turned out to be a prophetic act.
Russia: rock chick whose tuning matched her grasp of English.
Boznia-Herzegovina: Femminem (yes, really) doing a supposed Abba tribute. Not as much fun as that sounds.
Switzerland: Vanilla Ninja again, with their 'Cool Vibes' trying to be tough.
Latvia: the 'two refugees from a boy band' with their peace anthem again.
France closed things with a vaguely Latin beat and no discernible tune.
The interval act included - yes, more ethnic drums, plus a contortionist, another appearance from Ruslana and a bunch of transvestites in red robes (a new BBC ident?)
As for the voting, as usual everyone voted for their best mates. The Balkans and Baltics supported each other, Greece and Cyprus gave each other the obligatory maximum points, and virtually everyone ignored the UK. We were the last country off the block, and only Ireland, Malta, Turkey and Cyprus gave us any points at all. We finished 3rd from last with a measly 18 points. Greece had been the bookies' favourites, and won convincingly.
Interesting the traditional Eurovision heavy-hitters were all at the bottom - France and Germany occupied the last two places. Maybe we should get together and declare war on somewhere unpopular.
Ah well, here's to next year in Athens.
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*sigh* We can’t all be Alan Cresswell.
- Lyda Rose
Posts: 9313 | From: London | Registered: May 2001
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Legodude_uk
Protector of Zebras
# 5671
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Posted
My favourite line has to be from Terry's opening remarks...it went something along the lines of:
"Welcome to Kiev, swear word amongst chickens!"
With that and the Norwegian entry I had tears roling down my face!!!
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If a man is standing in a forest speaking but there are no women around to hear him...is he still wrong?
Posts: 2619 | From: The Home of the Saints | Registered: Mar 2004
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Hugal
Shipmate
# 2734
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Posted
The Norwegian entry Wig Wam are apparently famous across Europe. They are also very popular in Plymouth so says Paddy O'connel (Terry in Waiting). Wig Wam are apparenly touring Britain soon. Did anyone see the lead singer on the BBC3 program after the event. I thought they were a joke at first but they are real.
Posts: 1887 | From: london | Registered: Apr 2002
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KenWritez
Shipmate
# 3238
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Posted
I can't believe we don't get this over here in the States! I haven't even seen any of it and I'm already a fan just from having read Gill's descriptions.
(It's even given me a comeback for those loons who tirelessly accuse the US of cultural imperialism: "Moldavian drum-beating grandma.")
I found this on the Eurovision website: They assured that this Grandma is a real Moldavian peasant, without any cheating.
Yeah, none of those *fake* Moldavian peasant grandmas here! I'm sure last year's contestants all had them.
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"The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." --Quentin Tarantino, Pulp Fiction
My blog: http://oxygenofgrace.blogspot.com
Posts: 11102 | From: Left coast of Wonderland, by the rabbit hole | Registered: Aug 2002
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Sir Kevin
Ship's Gaffer
# 3492
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Posted
I liked Javine's video.
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If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Writing is currently my hobby, not yet my profession.
Posts: 30517 | From: White Hart Lane | Registered: Oct 2002
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Barnabas62
Shipmate
# 9110
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Posted
Prophetic utterance - the UK wont win Eurovision until we give up our EC rebate and get out of Iraq, then vote yes to the new EC constitution, then join the Euro. So next year .......
Missed it this year so I dont know whether Wogan got smashed (again) - and by which song.
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Who is it that you seek? How then shall we live? How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?
Posts: 21397 | From: Norfolk UK | Registered: Feb 2005
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